Learning To Accept This "fetish"

[brianh]

Hey all - I wonder if anyone could give me some input. It seems like the journey of learning to accept this (diaper wearing) in my life is a difficult one for me. Can anyone else relate? For example, I truly love diapers - everything about them! However, when wearing, my mind seems to continually, almost obsessively go over and over the con's against wearing (why I should give them up) versus the pros -why I should learn to accept this. It kind of puts me in a fog and I feel like I slow down mentally. Does this make sense? Also, since I guess I haven't come to totally accept this in my life, I feel some shame over it especially when I'm around others.

Well, thanks everyone, and I hope you all have a great new year!

[Pipsqueak]

There are lots of us here that can relate, brianh. But when you do finally accept it, it relieves a whole lot of stress and shame. Try to step back and observe it with a little distance. It doesn't harm anyone; unless you're totally obsessed with it 24 hours a day, it's likely not harming you. A diaper is merely underwear with a plastic covering. In the scheme of life, it's not really a big deal. There are times when I think the whole thing is completely silly and I laugh about it. And it is kind of silly, but who cares? I enjoy it and no one else has to participate unless they want to. It's part of who you are, but it's not all of who you are.

[brianh]

There are lots of us here that can relate, brianh. But when you do finally accept it, it relieves a whole lot of stress and shame. Try to step back and observe it with a little distance. It doesn't harm anyone; unless you're totally obsessed with it 24 hours a day, it's likely not harming you. A diaper is merely underwear with a plastic covering. In the scheme of life, it's not really a big deal. There are times when I think the whole thing is completely silly and I laugh about it. And it is kind of silly, but who cares? I enjoy it and no one else has to participate unless they want to. It's part of who you are, but it's not all of who you are.

Thank you very much Pipsqueak for your reply - I appreciate it, and what you said makes a lot of sense. I guess the one question that comes to my mind from what you wrote is: is a "fetish" truly harmless. In other words, is it a sickness or addiction that should be overcome. What would the general consensus of mental health professionals be in regards to this. I've tried to research such questions on line and there are certainly differing views in regard to this. I talked w/ a sex therapist about it and she said, "It's no problem!" However, over the years I've talked to Christian counselors who seem to think this is unhealthy. What say you? Thanks.

[diapermommie]

As far as mental health goes, it's generally only considered a problem (it being anything, from fetishes to other personality quirks) if it's causing distress to your life or those around you. I think of it as a preference. Some people wear their thongs hanging out of their pants, some people get off on watching dogs screw chicks. Whatever *shrugs* I happen to wear different underwear and different things turn me on. What I like is just different, doesn't mess up my life, my kids lives, my family, my work. It adds to my relationship with my boyfriend, it's fun, sometimes it's comforting, sometimes it's silly, sometimes it turns me on. It's just part of my life, and I don't analyze it anymore than I analyze the kind of car I drive or the job I chose. Now how it falls into place in my relationship with my bf, sometimes I overanalyze that, but that's my own insecurities and fears, has nothing to do with the ab or dl stuff.

I don't know what to say to get anyone to accept themselves however. You're not a freak, you're not weird. Better than that you aren't boring. Nothing is worse to me than people who live every day trying to be a typical "american" than ever giving thought to what makes them unique. Enjoy the fact that you are instead of trying to punish yourself for it.

[Pipsqueak]

In other words, is it a sickness or addiction that should be overcome. What would the general consensus of mental health professionals be in regards to this. I've tried to research such questions on line and there are certainly differing views in regard to this. I talked w/ a sex therapist about it and she said, "It's no problem!" However, over the years I've talked to Christian counselors who seem to think this is unhealthy. What say you?

I think with any subject, even ones not relating to fetishes, you will always find differing opinions. In this day and age most mental health professionals would not consider it a problem unless - as Diapermommie said - it was causing you emotional distress or harming others. As with most things ... everything in moderation. I don't know about the mental health qualifications of the Christian counsellors that you spoke to but I'm guessing that their response is more than likely based on their religious beliefs. In the end, only you can decide what is in your own best interests.

Perhaps some of the board's Christian members can jump in here and give their take on how their religious beliefs affect their diaper-wearing needs.

[Guest]

You want my opinion? The only cons I considered, once I boiled away the stupid ones, are...

Cost, yes, I spend more on diapers than my phone+TV+internet bundle. Hey, some people have 500 channels, I've got 60 or so and I don't have to hunt down a toilet. Whateva!

Environment - If you really look at the plastic in a diaper, there isn't a TON. My coffee lid, food wrappers, disposable forks, disposable ear plugs at work, there are a LOT of other places plastic trash comes from. So, I greened up the rest of my life. I carry reusable chopsticks (eh, so get a fork ya uncoordinated bastards!) instead of using disposable utensils. I recycle ALL my cans and bottles. I try not to WASTE diapers. Reuse, Reduce, and Recycle. Besides, we've got plastic made from corn that's biodegradable, it's only a matter of time before its in a form suitable for diapers and Bambino gets greener. You also have to factor in that each 24/7 diaper user is also less on the sewer systems. So it may not be BETTER for the earth than toilets right now, but certainly less assholish than tooling around the burbs in a hummer. It's not as bad as everyone thinks.

Inconvenience - Yes there is a little. I don't just go sleep somewhere, I have to bring a bag of diapers. Wow, what a loss, right. I just make sure when I leave my home, I've got enough to go all day. If there's increased chances I'll get stuck somewhere (drinking, weather, etc), I toss a pack in the trunk. v

So, those are no big deal. Pros! I'm comfy, no scrambling for a damn toilet, or being all achey in the bladder area when I can't find one, or sitting my bare ass on something everyone else puts their nasty bare ass on, or plunging, cleaning a toilet, flooded bathroom in my house, Finishing what I'm working on before changing, chairs are a little fluffier, falling on my ass is less painful, and I feel more comfortable and less stressed all day.

It's a diaper, get over it. Just tape it on, pull up yer pants, and get over it.

Anybody laughs, well enjoy the fact you're better than them, free-er, and kinder. It's not like they'd be anybody worth your time anyway.

Somebody once made fun of me "Aww... looks like somebody never grew up" and I said, "No, you didn't, but maybe someday".

[brianh]

I think with any subject, even ones not relating to fetishes, you will always find differing opinions. In this day and age most mental health professionals would not consider it a problem unless - as Diapermommie said - it was causing you emotional distress or harming others. As with most things ... everything in moderation. I don't know about the mental health qualifications of the Christian counsellors that you spoke to but I'm guessing that their response is more than likely based on their religious beliefs. In the end, only you can decide what is in your own best interests.

Perhaps some of the board's Christian members can jump in here and give their take on how their religious beliefs affect their diaper-wearing needs.

Well to everyone that posted a reply, I really appreciate it. This does cause me emotional distress and affects me, but I think it's a journey to acceptance, and as Pipsqueak first stated, I'm definitely not alone, and once I can finally come to terms w/ it, I will have more peace of mind. I've tried a lot of measures to eradicate it from my life (some very big measures) but I can't. It's like being caught between a rock and a hard place, and I've put off a lot of living in the mean time, thinking I had to be perfect.

Well thanks again everyone, and I find some comfort in the fact that I'm not alone in this.

[Rockies Fan in Diapers]

Brainh,

I too When I First began this Fetish felt as You Feel. I Also am a Christian, and after much thought, and Prayer I Felt that God Told Me that as Long as I dont Let Diapers Run or Completely Control my Life That they Are ok. For Me Some of the Pro's Are that My Depression has Lessened, And I have Become a More Confident Person, They are a Form of Stress Relief, and While I do wear 24/7, Diapers DO NOT Run or Control My Life. Just My Alternate Choice of Underwear! Lol. I Hope this Helps.

Rockies Fan Go Rockies in '08!

[brianh]

Brainh,

I too When I First began this Fetish felt as You Feel. I Also am a Christian, and after much thought, and Prayer I Felt that God Told Me that as Long as I dont Let Diapers Run or Completely Control my Life That they Are ok. For Me Some of the Pro's Are that My Depression has Lessened, And I have Become a More Confident Person, They are a Form of Stress Relief, and While I do wear 24/7, Diapers DO NOT Run or Control My Life. Just My Alternate Choice of Underwear! Lol. I Hope this Helps.

Rockies Fan Go Rockies in '08!

Thank you Rockies Fan in Diapers - really appreciate what you wrote. I too, notice that when I'm wearing, I'm actually more motivated to do things (projects, etc...) and not as depressed. I guess I should start focusing on the positive effects of wearing versus all of the fear based, "what if" questions that my mind so easily does.

Thanks again man - appreciate it.

[maly]

Brianh, You could spend more time trying to 'rid' your self of this but you might as well try cutting your arms and legs off!

Trust me it cant be done.

As for the mental health profs, i told my shrink once and he said " if it isn't getting in the way of your ordinary life and it's not causing harm to yourself or others then it's not a problem."

So try to stop worrying about feeling 'normal' and enjoy the rest of your nappied life.

Mal.

[jenniebear]

Brianh, I wish i could offer up more to help in your quest for acceptance...but i think anything i could say has already been said and it's been said quite well. The only other thing i could possibly add is a bit from my own experience.

at 42 years old...this fetish has come and gone and come again for me...as mal said...getting rid of it...just "can't be done"....and while i think you could probably deny it for a while...or if you have a lot of will power.......you might be able to deny it forever......for me though i know even when i was in college and it wasn't any part of my life at the time......i'd still have diaper related dreams....and that was something i couldn't control....

i've struggled too with "right or wrong" probably most of us have....and....i consider myself christian though i probably could be a lot better christian then i am.......

one of the things i have learned in life is to accept others for who they are..............and now i am learning to accept myself in the same way....i'm not the smartest...the most beautiful....or even the "most" anything ......... but the one thing i do best is be me.........and i can strive to be a better me.......but as far as self improvement........my diaper wearing is pretty low on my list of "to do" projects......i may see my diapers as being a bit "self endulgent".......but in the realm of ways to improve myself....diaper wearing isn't a very significant thing...

i know everyone is different and how i look at life and how you look at life are going to be very different Brianh....but i hope these posts can somehow help you find a bit of relief from your struggle....

Lastly...a note of comment about this thread and the posts within........this thread is an awesome example of the support one can receive at DD. While lifestyles and thoughts may differ....we all seem to share a common link ... it' isn't just the wearing of diapers ...but also the emotional traumas as well as the pleasure they bring to us....and when one comes forward like Brianh has done .......the members band together to bring that person along...to move them towards a healthier and happier experience.......

gotta love DD.....

best wishes Brianh.......may your struggle be lessened

[brianh]

Brianh, I wish i could offer up more to help in your quest for acceptance...but i think anything i could say has already been said and it's been said quite well. The only other thing i could possibly add is a bit from my own experience.

at 42 years old...this fetish has come and gone and come again for me...as mal said...getting rid of it...just "can't be done"....and while i think you could probably deny it for a while...or if you have a lot of will power.......you might be able to deny it forever......for me though i know even when i was in college and it wasn't any part of my life at the time......i'd still have diaper related dreams....and that was something i couldn't control....

i've struggled too with "right or wrong" probably most of us have....and....i consider myself christian though i probably could be a lot better christian then i am.......

one of the things i have learned in life is to accept others for who they are..............and now i am learning to accept myself in the same way....i'm not the smartest...the most beautiful....or even the "most" anything ......... but the one thing i do best is be me.........and i can strive to be a better me.......but as far as self improvement........my diaper wearing is pretty low on my list of "to do" projects......i may see my diapers as being a bit "self endulgent".......but in the realm of ways to improve myself....diaper wearing isn't a very significant thing...

i know everyone is different and how i look at life and how you look at life are going to be very different Brianh....but i hope these posts can somehow help you find a bit of relief from your struggle....

Lastly...a note of comment about this thread and the posts within........this thread is an awesome example of the support one can receive at DD. While lifestyles and thoughts may differ....we all seem to share a common link ... it' isn't just the wearing of diapers ...but also the emotional traumas as well as the pleasure they bring to us....and when one comes forward like Brianh has done .......the members band together to bring that person along...to move them towards a healthier and happier experience.......

gotta love DD.....

best wishes Brianh.......may your struggle be lessened

I really appreciate the thought and time put into your response - and thank you to everyone. I am impressed as Jenniebear indicated, with the support and realness here. As a struggler, I will ask the response to only one more question in this thread (at the risk of wearing everyone out!). As I inidicated earlier, I have talked to professionals that have different opinions on this. One vein of thought that I have been exposed to, is the possibility that diaper wearing is an addiction (under the category of sex addiction). Overcoming an addiction could be seen like a complete impossibility or likened unto, "cutting off one's arms and legs." Being from a conservative background, (and pleagued w/ the thought of needing to overcome this), i have tried 12 step programs, medication, and other big steps to eradicate this, but to no avail. I just wonder if my thinking is the same as that of an alcholic who says, "there is no way to overcome this", but the truth is, there have been lot's of folks who have overcome alcholism.

So sorry if I'm wearing everybody out on these questions; they are just one's I have grappled w/ for years. Thanks again to everyone who posted!

[Pipsqueak]

The addiction question is a tough one to answer. I personally don't think it is what would be classified as an addiction but whether or not it is or isn't an addiction of some kind I think it still comes down to the question of harm. If you're an alcoholic or a drug addict, your addiction will over time spiral out of control and harm not only you, but the people around you. I have a cousin who is an alcoholic. He's 56 and he will not make it to 57. He has damaged his body so badly he's almost blind, can't feel his feet and can barely control his waterworks. He has a masters in business but he destroyed all the benefits of those years of schooling. He's destroyed his family. His wife and kids will no doubt heave a sigh of relief when he goes. His mother and brothers are devastated.

On the other hand ... I've known about my interest in diapers since I was about six. It doesn't threaten my health or life, it hasn't impacted on my family or career. If it's an addiction, it seems to be pretty benign and maybe ranks up there with coffee.

[dypered]

Hey Brian-

I'm a Christian too. Been into diapers since I was about 17, though it's gotten much stronger as I've gotten older (53 now). I don't really believe God is "ok" with this because (and this is just my own opinion) that it doesn't represent the better side of ourselves. It is some form of addiction, sexual or otherwise, and God wants us free of any kind of bondage, except perhaps to Him. Of course he can forgive us and accept us after we accept Christ for the forgiveness of our sins, and of course he still loves us, and this won't keep us out of heaven, but I think that He would say that He would prefer we not have anything in our lives that we can't control and be masters of.

Imagine you had a 20-year old son who had a problem with, say, smoking. It wouldn't stop you from loving him or wanting to be with him, but I think you would wish, for *his* sake, that he could shake the smoking problem. You would only want the best for him.

I've done the prayer/fasting/counseling thing and haven't been able to shake it. I am actually looking forward to going to be with the Lord because then, at last, I will be completely free of sin and able to be exactly the way He wants me to be. Until then I have to try to resist when I can, repent when I can't, and know that He accepts and loves me anyway.

dave

[wolverine0012000]

I dont really think you can class the AB/DL lifestyle as an addiction unless its harmfull to you or those around you. The biggest problem is most christians are intolerant of any kind of alternate sexual behavior, even when it does no harm to anyone whatsoever. I was brought up in the church and the total intolerance to any other knd of behavior at all really turned me off to it. Yes i still belive in god but my underwear choice and the personal pleasure i receive from it isnt sinfull as i see it. God wants us to be happy and spend our lives as good people. I dont see how our lifestyle contradicts that.

[Mean Mommy]

I really appreciate the thought and time put into your response - and thank you to everyone. I am impressed as Jenniebear indicated, with the support and realness here. As a struggler, I will ask the response to only one more question in this thread (at the risk of wearing everyone out!). As I inidicated earlier, I have talked to professionals that have different opinions on this. One vein of thought that I have been exposed to, is the possibility that diaper wearing is an addiction (under the category of sex addiction). Overcoming an addiction could be seen like a complete impossibility or likened unto, "cutting off one's arms and legs." Being from a conservative background, (and pleagued w/ the thought of needing to overcome this), i have tried 12 step programs, medication, and other big steps to eradicate this, but to no avail. I just wonder if my thinking is the same as that of an alcholic who says, "there is no way to overcome this", but the truth is, there have been lot's of folks who have overcome alcholism.

So sorry if I'm wearing everybody out on these questions; they are just one's I have grappled w/ for years. Thanks again to everyone who posted!

Yo Brianh,

I think you really have to clarify what an addiction is.

Is an addiction doing something not everyone agrees with? Drinking alcohol, taking drugs, wearing diapers? If so, who has the authority to tell you what you can and cannot do? You would say the church, I assume, because they have been there and supported you for a very long time. The next question is: why do they tell you to avoid these things? Because alcohol and drugs are dangerous substances, and while it doesn't happen to everyone, it has ruined many many people's lives.

Why does the church want you not to wear diapers? Because...not everyone does it? So? What is the danger in being unique? Because it may hinder you in becoming a fully mature adult? Take a good look at your life: are you productive? Do you have friends? Do you contribute to your community? You sound like you do. So I doubt diapers are stopping you from becoming a mature, responsible adult. Do they take up all your time and energy? You'll have to answer that. But from my perspective, it looks like ridding yourself of your diaper fetish is taking up all your time and energy.

Are diapers hurting you? No. Are they hurting anyone else? No. Is not accepting diapers hurting you? Yes. Is denying diapers causing you pain? Yes.

We call some things addictions not because they're important to us (so much so that ridding ourselves of them would be like "cutting off an arm and a leg") but because they hurt us. You should have things in your life that are important to you. That isn't wrong. If spending time with family is so important that not spending time with them would be as hard as "cutting off an arm" that doesn't mean it is an addiction. Neither would be painting, sports, music or literature. These things enrich our lives. We should have difficulty parting with them.

Diapers fall into the same category. They enrich your life, they make you feel good, you would rather not part with them.

So what would make it an addiction?

You would be addicted to diapers if you spent all your money on diapers when you have more pressing things to take care of. You would be addicted if diapers stopped you from keeping a job, making friends, or having a relationship. If diapers make you impoverished, abusive, hurtful and alienated - then you have a diaper addiction. In other words, diapers have to wield considerable damage on your life to be called an addiction. The shame you feel about liking diapers aren't due to the diapers' effect on you, but people's perception of you when you are in diapers. So I wouldn't blame all that shame and agony directly on the diapers.

I think deep down you know this. You know diapers are harmless, and are far from destructive. I think you need support in doing the right thing - which is to embrace something that makes you happy, but isn't well understood by society. I think you need this support because a big pillar in your life - your church - doesn't agree with something that is very important to you. Now is the time to close your eyes and think. Diapers make you happy and they don't hurt anyone. You have to listen to yourself, your needs. It will take a lot of courage to embrace diapers, but if you do I believe you will be a happier person in the end.