brianh

Hey beachbunn - I understand your concern - and I have that same concern about a future wife. It's a tough thing. I've worn diapers on and off for about 7 years now (I'm 33) and I sure can't seem to quit them. But part of me still thinks that I could and should. I just love them sooooo much and don't know why I feel so much guilt/shame with them. But I've wondered the same thing. I guess it's nice to know that atleast there are a bunch of people like us out there

I gotta say, Toddler Pampers really got me thinking about insecurity. It's a tough thing to admit, but,.. I am insecure! But I've always thought of myself as confident as long as I'm not wearing diapers, or as long as I don't masturbate, (for example) etc.... Ya, I know, sounds weird, but don't judge yet,... there is a point to all of this: What I realized is that for the years and years I have attempted to control the above behaviors mentioned, it was actually an attempt to feel more secure or confident about myself - that's what I was trying to get out of it! I tried to gain more confidence from religion - I acutally was neurotic about praying before attemting any task, because I wanted to perform the said task perfectly (or atleast extremely well). (Don't get the wrong idea about religion or faith, it's an important part of my life, it's just that in hind sight, I was unbalanced and incorrect). I've always been a very high achiever - straight A's in high school, summa cum laude from college, etc... in sales a top peformer. All of these on the surface would indicate confidence - but at the heart of them, a very high level of insecurity. Thank you to all for the thread. Brian

Hello to everyone. I don't post very often, but thank you to all for their thoughts on this thread. I really enjoy more serious discussions such as this one, and from a personal standpoint, it's good to know that I'm not alone. In regards to the confidence aspect, I find that I am less confident when I do wear - i.e., less confident in my decision making abilities and task oriented capabilities. It's almost as if I use my ability to abstain from wearing diapers as a control thing: the thinking goes in my mind something like, "As long as I don't wear diapers, then I can do things well, be myself, and be confident in my decisions." Of course that thinking tends to set one up for failure. Well, thanks again for the thread everyone. Have a great day!

There aren't any in my community, but I'll check out that site you mentioned. Thanks enfant.

Hi all - I hope this posting finds everyone well. I was perusing around the meeting place section of the board recently, and I commented that the need to identify with a group is of signficance - a basic human need. I just think of how beneficial it would be to be able to hang out with other people who identify with this whole issue of diapers. It is difficult for me at times, to accept this part of me, and I know that actually getting to know others like me would prove to be beneficial (just from a support standpoint). I know others out there feel like I do in this regard. My question is to those who have succeeded in putting something together - an event, or group in their respective areas. How did you do it? Any pointers? And finally, did it prove to be something that was beneficial or a disappointment? Any feedback would be appreciated. Thank you everyone!

I live close to Fort Worth. You know, I think it would be nice to meet some fellow AB/DL's just as kind of a support group thing or something - not as a "relationship" thing. I think that the need to identify with others or some type of group is a very strong need basic to all humans. In my struggle to accept this fetish (or atleast to retain some type of perspective) hanging around some other's like me would be beneficial. Do others concur?

I believe that communication is everything in relationships - w/out it, they are doomed to fail. Your soon to be wife seems to be sending you mixed signals - it's okay to wear diapers, but if you do it 3 days in a row, that's not okay. I believe that she is not really telling you how she feels about it. I would sit down w/ her and foster a very open and candid conversation about the issue. Find out her concerns, needs and beliefs. Maybe couples counseling would be a good idea - b/c a lifestyle issue like yours (ours) does not just go away. Maybe after counseling, a happy medium can be met in regards to this (you give a little, she gives a little). Maybe after counseling you find that honestly this fetish is destructive in your life and needs to be changed. Maybe after counseling everyone agrees after learning more about it, that it is okay and healthy - just a fun way to relax and be comfortable. But to set up a pattern of not communicating and leaving big issues like these unresolved before marriage (even during marriage) will only eventually be destructive to the relationship. Hope it helps!

I definitely concur w/ Mr. Sea Otter - tell her. Open up to her. Women like for men to open up and share their feelings, concerns, fears, etc... Also, I think it's only right to tell her. What if she was hiding something from you for years and years? I believe that only true intimacy can be achieved when there are no secrets, and when there is openess and honesty. Please don't get me wrong - I am not trying to be offensive, but just to offer some helpful suggestions . I hope you have a great weekend. Thanks.

I really appreciate the thought and time put into your response - and thank you to everyone. I am impressed as Jenniebear indicated, with the support and realness here. As a struggler, I will ask the response to only one more question in this thread (at the risk of wearing everyone out!). As I inidicated earlier, I have talked to professionals that have different opinions on this. One vein of thought that I have been exposed to, is the possibility that diaper wearing is an addiction (under the category of sex addiction). Overcoming an addiction could be seen like a complete impossibility or likened unto, "cutting off one's arms and legs." Being from a conservative background, (and pleagued w/ the thought of needing to overcome this), i have tried 12 step programs, medication, and other big steps to eradicate this, but to no avail. I just wonder if my thinking is the same as that of an alcholic who says, "there is no way to overcome this", but the truth is, there have been lot's of folks who have overcome alcholism. So sorry if I'm wearing everybody out on these questions; they are just one's I have grappled w/ for years. Thanks again to everyone who posted!

thanks for your insight Jenniebear - I appreciate it.

Alright, I tend to be a thinker and analyze things. I am reading a great book right now about healing shame. Shame seems to be at my core, and I know it's unhealthy. I also know that parents are role models for their kids and whether they realize it or not, if they have shame issues, they pass it on to the children they raise. My question is, I know how shaming my parents were to me while growing up, and as a result I have a pattern in my life; and I suspect that maybe a common thread in many that find comfort in diapers (including me!) were parent(s) that were neglectful, distant, or shaming. I'm curious what others think. I hope you all have a great weekend, and thanks for any input that you might have!

Thank you Rockies Fan in Diapers - really appreciate what you wrote. I too, notice that when I'm wearing, I'm actually more motivated to do things (projects, etc...) and not as depressed. I guess I should start focusing on the positive effects of wearing versus all of the fear based, "what if" questions that my mind so easily does. Thanks again man - appreciate it.

Well to everyone that posted a reply, I really appreciate it. This does cause me emotional distress and affects me, but I think it's a journey to acceptance, and as Pipsqueak first stated, I'm definitely not alone, and once I can finally come to terms w/ it, I will have more peace of mind. I've tried a lot of measures to eradicate it from my life (some very big measures) but I can't. It's like being caught between a rock and a hard place, and I've put off a lot of living in the mean time, thinking I had to be perfect. Well thanks again everyone, and I find some comfort in the fact that I'm not alone in this.

Thank you very much Pipsqueak for your reply - I appreciate it, and what you said makes a lot of sense. I guess the one question that comes to my mind from what you wrote is: is a "fetish" truly harmless. In other words, is it a sickness or addiction that should be overcome. What would the general consensus of mental health professionals be in regards to this. I've tried to research such questions on line and there are certainly differing views in regard to this. I talked w/ a sex therapist about it and she said, "It's no problem!" However, over the years I've talked to Christian counselors who seem to think this is unhealthy. What say you? Thanks.

Hey all - I wonder if anyone could give me some input. It seems like the journey of learning to accept this (diaper wearing) in my life is a difficult one for me. Can anyone else relate? For example, I truly love diapers - everything about them! However, when wearing, my mind seems to continually, almost obsessively go over and over the con's against wearing (why I should give them up) versus the pros -why I should learn to accept this. It kind of puts me in a fog and I feel like I slow down mentally. Does this make sense? Also, since I guess I haven't come to totally accept this in my life, I feel some shame over it especially when I'm around others. Well, thanks everyone, and I hope you all have a great new year!