Telling An So - An Abnormal But Educational Story

[Morv]

So, I recently made the decision to tell my girlfriend about my interest in diapers (which happens to be that I'm attracted to women in them, not that I like to wear them, and no roleplaying involved). Things went fairly smoothly, but there's a lot that lead up to that.

1 - The timing. We've been dating somewhere around 3 months now, probably just a little bit over. We have a bit of a distance relationship, more due to our schedules than due to our distance. We live about an hour apart, give or take. (In the winter in Wisconsin, I'd be willing to guess the drive is a little longer than that.) We do, however, talk often. I work 3rd shift and my job affords me several hours of down time in the middle of the night. We talk most nights for several hours, so despite the distance and not being able to see each other on a regular basis, we still communicate well. One of the effects of this is that there's no question in my mind that our relationship is not simply based on sex, though there certainly is a healthy physical aspect. Anyway, I waited to say something until I knew that we had established strong foundation of trust and open communication, most notably regarding other similar (sexual/alternative lifestyle) topics. I did not wait so long as to be hiding something.

2 - The communication. We have openly discussed other sexual topics, ranging from what we like doing, to what others do, and what we find arousing to what we'd never want to try. Our discussions are frank and as we had more of them, the awkward moments were fewer and fewer. What this open communication revealed is that our interests and our levels of participation are somewhat similar, though our levels of exposure are somewhat different. Were there a great gap between us, in interests or participation, this may have not worked so easily. In aspects where one of us was more experienced, listening to the other is the key.

3 - Preparation. I knew that I wanted to tell her, but I also knew that I was going to have a hard time. I also wanted to tell her in person (that's just how I operate), but due to not seeing her often, I couldn't be certain that would be how it would go down. Several times she asked if there was any role-playing that I was interested in or other sexual interests. Though we discussed many, I let her know there was one thing that I was interested in, and that I did want to share it, but I wasn't ready quite yet. She did not push my boundaries, did not try to "get it out of me," but rather she waited until I was ready and reminded me that she cared for me and that she wanted me to feel comfortable. This helped me tell her faster than I think I could have otherwise.

4 - Previous experiences. You can't really change what experiences your significant other has, unless of course you expose them to new things. I guess that the whole diaper thing pales in comparison to some of the things that my girlfriend has seen and has gone through. She is transexual. The strangest fetish that she ever encountered was a friend of hers who was looking for a girl to punch him in the face with a glove covered in razor blades. Between these two things, pretty much everything else pales in comparison. We've discussed light bondage, role-playing, and a host of other fetishes that we thought might be worth a try, and many we agree that neither of us is interested in (pony play, s&m, scat, exhibitionism, etc.). Having discussed many things that are often related to diapers (exhibitionishm, scat/urine play, role-playing) helped the conversation move in that direction and helped me get a feel for how she would react.

5 - Trust. Having shared what our previous experiences were, and having told her that there was something I wanted to tell her that I was interested in, and all this because of good, open communication, I knew that at some point I just had to put my trust in her. All indications were that she would be totally accepting. So, several times during one of our nightly conversations I told her I was trying to work up the courage to say something, and then finally did.

The reaction I got was better than I hoped for. I clearly explained what I was and what I wasn't interested in. I explained what other people are interested in about diapers, and about what it is to me. And she said that this certainly wasn't what she was expecting, but it didn't really disturb her. Without asking her if she would be willing to dress in diapers for me, she offered to. She said she didn't have any problem with it as long as it wasn't an all the time thing. I reassured her that it wasn't (which for me is an honest statement), and she said that she would like to indulge my fantasy and see how much it turned me on.

She asked several questions

her: What kind of diapers do you like?

me: Disposable.

her: Do you mean the pull up ones, or the ones that are like real diapers?

me: The ones like real diapers.

her: Do you like just girls naked with only diapers on, or with diapers under their clothing?

me: Both do it for me. I may not be in to the role playing thing with diapers much, but there's been several little-girl outfits that I've seen models dressed up in that are really cute.

her: Oooh. Those little girl costumes are usually gothic-lolita, or a variation on it.

(she designs clothes, and is enamored with the gothic-lolita style. The discussion also went onto how diapers wouldn't be that obvious under many of these fashions)

And so on. I guess my recipe for success was based on having good communication and good timing with a partner who is open minded and previously exposed to many rather strange sexual interests in the world. The recipe also included realistic expectations: that it wasn't going to change our relationship, and that it certainly wouldn't be omnipresent. I did not ask her to participate, but rather let her feel it out. I may have had that discussion in time, had she not volunteered. The fact that she has also had experience with fears of being accepted (as a transexual) in both a romantic sense and in an every day sense also meant that she was readily willing to accept someone elses quirks. She also pointed out that it's not like it hurts anybody.

Then we had a bit of a discussion, and I think this is the most important thing we discussed. We chatted for some time about where this interest of mine came from. (I personally have a much easier time understanding diaper lovers and adult babies than understanding myself, for whom diapers are sexual, but I want them on my partner, not on me. This is not to say I lack a grasp on understanding myself, but that is a different topic for a different thread.) I talked about how I tried to figure it out, and many years ago came to the conclusion that since it wasn't really hurting me or my life, then I might as well just enjoy it. We talked about how these quirky parts of us make us how we are. She talked about how there's days she wishes that she had either just been born a girl or been born a boy with a boy's mind intact, but how at the same time she celebrates being transexual because the experience has made her who she is. Being transexual is greatly different from being turned on by women in diapers, but we could see similarities in accepting and rejoycing in what we as people are instead of being upset about it and trying to change it.

Oh, yeah, and that guy that she knew with the razor bade glove thing... she saw him about a week after he found a girl to indulge him, and his face was still pretty messed up.

[jenniebear]

As always Morv, your post shows your integrity and intelligence. Best wishes on your road of exploration, it sounds very promising!

jennie

[nappyloon]

Very nicely handled Morv, and the start of a long term relationship involving Diapers I shouldn't wonder.

[Pipsqueak]

Well done, Morv! Hope everything works out well for you!

[Pe@nut]

I’m not a prolific poster by any stretch of the imagination and to be honest never will be, but as a frequent viewer of these forums (and as a nappy forum it is for me, the only forums) I have to say that, that is the most grounded and sensible approach to communicating your deep desires to a significant other that I have seen put into words. A genuine ten out of ten for that Morv.

I’ve gone down similar routes with ex’s, if not as perfect, and love and trust are the two main qualities to conquer all fears and doubts regarding anything in life and what we do is just a part of life. Good for you.

Anyway, I’m off back to my wine (sorry for any rambling!!!), and when I’ve sobered up my lurking status.

[BabyLex]

Congratulations Morv! Well done. Glad to hear that more people are being open about their interests. Nicely and maturely handled.

[DIAPERPHANTOM]

Outstanding post, Morv!!! Hope everything works out with your new found relationship.

[Repaid1]

I too applaud your post. But as always, well thought and written... I must seriously get some help though as that scared me.. I can see darn near anything rationally,, but razor blades in the face is pushing me to the far end. Best of luck to you both. I almost can get the visual and now I will have bad dreams..Yuckky.. I hope he enjoyed it.. All I can say is DAMN!

And to think alot of the people on here can't tell their SO about a diaper fetish? Again let us know what you guys get into... so what was your faviorite diaper brand Daddy? Did you give her any websites to peek at?

[tcc]

I know we all are terrified of revealing our "secret" or secret self. WELL SAID, Morv. You used intelligence and guile that few ever take the time to develop. I made it sound to my new GF very dark, distressing and something I had to broach but could not. Finally, worried I was a pedophile or escaped axe murderer, I revealed my being a diaper fetishist. It was like, "Oh, only THAT?"

At 44, she turned out to be pretty vanilla, uninformed and not all that into any type of kink. But, she said it was MY thing, and to go ahead and indulge myself. I had ACCEPTANCE. Now, I'd like to have encouragement and participation. She said to give her time to digest this thing, and now she LOOKS for me to be "puffy". That's a start. I want her to wonder why I'm NOT in diapers versus why I AM. Will I ever get HER into diapers, will I ever get her to understand how seeing an adult woman in diapers is far more erotic to me than any Playboy centerfold? Who knows? But, like you, I started out KNOWING I had to make a revelation before things go too close and it WAS an intelligent conversation, with me listening and answering questions, as well as relating my story and situation. I've met my soul-mate who is becoming my best friend. I will continue to hope she sees what my diaper life means to me and welcome it in OUR relationship. Had I just dropped it into her lap, she'd be long gone by now. Oh, too, in explaining the difference between AB and DL, she said she didn't think she could deal with AB. I guess certain matches ARE made in Heaven...