Balance

[pax87]

Does anyone else ever have difficulty balancing life when it comes to being an AB? Sometimes all i wanna do is be my toddler self. Wuz just wondering cuz its not always fun trying to balance it all out. Especially when it comes to working. If you found something that works for you mind sharing?

[boy ricky]

Does anyone else ever have difficulty balancing life when it comes to being an AB? Sometimes all i wanna do is be my toddler self. Wuz just wondering cuz its not always fun trying to balance it all out. Especially when it comes to working. If you found something that works for you mind sharing?

Hi

I am an AB and it is hard to switch from toddler or lil boy to "big boy". I have to work like most of us. My partner is also my Daddy. I am almost always a toddler or lil boy when he is around me. From when i wake up till i go to bed. My work is called "school". We talk about things that way all the time. I am presented to his friends generally as a "boy". It is generally accepted.

That said one cant do that at work. I have times when i just don't want to go. Its not that i am lazy or dont enjoy the work, its that it is taking me away from being Daddy's boy. Emotionally that is hard. I have incorporated much ab stuff into my work life. I wear diapers 24/7. I use them. I wear boy's clothes to work most of the time unless i have some meeting with a "mucky muck". I wear light up shoes and spiderman or diego caps.

The things i do are not for many as many on here are happy for a few hours or a weekend acting out their AB side. Very few are as "entrenched" as i am.

Finding a balance is needed. I have to be ready for the switch. I do that by being doing a little bit of "work" on the computer before i have to go. This helps bring me along. It may work for others like yourself.

Daddy and me do have a plan. It involves him getting a better job soon which he is working on. I will be able to stay home. AN AB's dream to be a boy most of the time.

It helps that in a few years i will have a government pension that will allow me to contribute to the family income without working.

Back to the balance ... I know many people manage it well, even though it can be hard for me at times, especially after a few days away from work, i do manage it.

[babymatthew3]

Hey Pax, I'm gonna join you in chat one of these days. I like your posts.

balance... thats a good one. I own my own business in N. California. A successful business that definately draws on my mind, body and soul at times. But overall I enjoy it and realize this is what I have to do. There are times when I feel like. God, if I could just go home, get my jammies on, fix me a bottle of chocy milk, powder and pamper myself, and just forget I'm an adult for a couple hours. When I can do that, its great. I don't know how many people outside of our community could understand what a stress reliever it is. I can't do it that way every night Since I own my own business I am lucky enough that I can have my diapees every day if I wish. Know one notices. So, I always feel somewhat babyish all day, that is nice. I'm also lucky enough that I can just leave town somedays and just go 'baby shopping'. I love doing this. In the stores, its 'Mommy, baby,,, Mommy, baby,,,,Mommy, baby,,, and me. Oh well. I even like that. This is how I deal with reality, and good news...Its healthy. My business does over 6 digits a year in business. Its working fine for me. Look at the people who TRY to cope with alcohol and drugs, and we can just fix a ba ba of chocy milk and be fine. can't beat it.

again, we will talk in chat one of these times.

Take care,

baby matthew

[Codymoogle]

Very good question paxy!

I struggle with this too. I may not work at the moment, but I talk to a bunch of people at least a few times a week that don't know i'm AB.

Generally most of my clothing is either "grown up/baby neutral" as in it can be suitable for me to wear when I need to act adult or when I can let myself be lil totally. People I know in the outside word know that I'm somewhat "childish" so it's not really a surprise to them about that I like cartoons, sleep with a blankie (my Dady bankie), and the like. I'm always in a "little" state of mind, whether I act it or not. I'm incontinent so the diapers are explainable and no one's business anyway. I can act big when I have to and that's all that matters, even though it's hard. Maybe one day when Dady and I move in together I won't have to act totally grown up anymore, since he'll be working from home...and if I have to work I can work from home too.

~ Moogies

[pax87]

Thanks for responding everyone. Im still interested to hear more from people willing to share. All this is helpful to realize that im not the only one struggling with balancing things out. TY everybaby and dl

[just_here]

And now input from the crazy chick that doesn't wear diapeys...JUSTY! *giggles* You know, I'm responding to this topic and if you think about it I might not have any experience whatsoever on the topic, but I think I can relate in the "finding balance" department. Even if my quest to find balance is not because I'm an ABDL. Sometimes in life we have to do things we really don't want to do and if you feel this split existence its even harder. When I find myself struggling to do what I have to do, I just pretend and try to convince myself. I tell myself "I gotta do this so that my big plans can come true". Everything in life thats worth it initially requires sacrifice be it relationships, wealth, just about anything really. If you can sacirifice those hours and go into "big girl" mode tell yourself "hey, I have to do this or its no diapeys for me, I have to be a big girl and do some big girl stuff and pretend to be a big person". Kids love pretending, maybe that tactic will work for you. Who knows maybe the sacrifice will bring you what you want in the future, you can be a baby all of the time!

Keep on trekking through the voyage of life Paxy, you watch someday you'll get what you want. Life is all about what you put into it Best of luck!

[jenniebear]

Well said Just Here....

over the years i've found that the times i struggle with the balance thing is mostly when things aren't necessarily going like i'd want them to...work is sometimes overwhelming or Daddy and i are going through a trying time....it always seems when one thing is out of whack...the whole world will take me for a spin ... ya know ... "when it rains it pours" ......

anyway...what i always try to keep in my heart and mind is to keep a positive attitude...i endulge my iddle side...it makes me feel safe...but i also remember to limit it too...sometimes for me anyway....when things are at their worst...in order for me to feel in control...i need to be a big girl to make sure things don't slip any more then they already have....

i guess my iddle side doesn't always include wearing or acting a baby......often it's just having my plushie tallie near by while i'm taking care of my big girl responsibilities....

Daddy needs His big girl to pull her share in the relationship...work needs me to carry my responsibilities so that we can function as a TEAM...

it is about balance....life is about balance......i like what Just Here said about "i gotta do this so my big plans can come true" It always seems the more you work towards something...the more prepared you are and the more prepared you are...the more you can relax....the more you can relax...the more opportunities you may have to be iddle....

now...speaking of balance......i'd better go to bed...it's almost 2 am and tomorrow is a "big girl" day with Daddy...gotta winterize the camper and get it put away for the season....fun?...nah......but if i am a good girl and help Daddy.......there will be rewards

[lil_angel]

Great question!

I, like ricky, live an ABDL lifestyle with my mommie, so balance can be very tough at times. I find it extremely difficult to switch between being my little and big self every day. But like most people in this world, I too have to work to have my "big plans can come true".

I too am incontinent so I do wear diapers 24/7, which helps, but that is as far as I can take it too work. I can't get away with wearing childish clothing, at least not visably. I do sometimes wear little girl clothes under my big clothes (easier in the winter cause it doesn't get too hot). The problem with this is that sometimes it makes me want to be my little self even more when I can't....catch 22.

To help me better cope with the switch each day, I have developed a psychological trigger to let me know when I should switch. I take a shower before and after work. Not only is it extemely relaxing and a good time to catch my thoughts, but it really helps with the transition between my two selves.

[rusty pins]

This is a very interesting topic! My take on things as a DL for over 35 years are as follows. I believe that a person must find a good ballence between AB/DL and normal adult behavior in order to have a mentally healthy mind and body. A good ballence can only be determined by the person in question. How do they live their life? What kind of job and friends do they have? How open are they about their AB/DL fetish with other people and how accepting are their friends and aquaintences? With me, I used to wear a diaper every day after work for a few hours when I was younger but I never wore a diaper to work or around friends and family. Diapers were a fetish and stress reliever for me and still are. I never liked baby stuff so I am a DL and not AB. I think that helps keep more of a ballence for me since I like diapers but not baby stuff. If you think about it, DL's are more limited than AB's in the fact that there are only so many things you do with wearing diapers, but with AB's you also add baby clothes, bottles, pacifiers, mommy and daddy rolls and lots more things along with the diapers. The more things you do the more time it takes and the more you spend with your fetish. That also makes it harder to find your ballence between fetish and adult responsabilities. After some 35 years, starting as a teenager, I am down to one or two diapers a week for the most part. There are exceptions, such as a get together with a DL friend or a shopping trip out of town for the day, but I never had a problem finding a ballence. When at work or with friends or doing errands around the house I am always a normal adult, even though once in a while I may think about diapers. To me it actually enhances my fun when I wear diapers when I don't do it all the time. I may arrange to meet a DL friend for fishing or lunch somewhere and I enjoy the antisepation of the get together for a few days. That makes the actual event so much better when the day arrives. Same as when I plan an out of town shopping trip for the upcomming holidays. It's nice to be able to think things out as to what diapers I'm going to wear, what places I'll be able to go to when I need to change, if I'll be going to any medical supply stores that sell diapers, things like that. It's just as fun and exciting when I wake up on a Saturday morning with nothing to do and decide to put on a diaper on the spur of the moment! That's my take on ballencing AB/DL against a normal lifestyle. I will admit that I am different than probably most people here in that I am DL, not AB and I wear only once or twice a week. It seems like so many people here are AB's, wear an afully lot of the time and are in AB relationships with other people. I would think that those members would be the interesting ones to hear from on how they ballence their AB life with their regular adult life and responsabilities.

[pax87]

thank you all soooo much for taking the time out of your lives to respond to this! Its much appreciated, truely! thanks for all the input.

[tris]

Find the balance that works for you. In every life, there is a happy medium that you can find. It will enable you to be yourself AND meet all your expectations. It just takes some trial and error to get there.

[D_Rainger]

I'm sure you don't want to hear my life story so I'll keep it short. I'm a DL and really much more interested in seeing others in diapers. I like to fantasize. I keep balance by striving for simplicity. I don't have a lot of supplies nor hard drives full of pictures. I have enough with what I have. My imagination is much more powerful. For years I was wracked with guilt. I have made peace with myself as I have grown older. I don't have any DL friends. I have kept my family in the dark about this small part of myself. It is good for satisfying myself sexually on occasion and that's where I keep it. I find it is much easier to maintain a balance that way.

-D R

[phogendpf]

I found the balance I have always wanted by working from home. I get to wear diapees all day which I couldnt do before when i had to "work" outside of the home. I love my job and love the fact that i can wear diapers as much as I want to (which went to 24/7 very quickly after the new found freedom).

[BabyLex]

paxie :-)

Disclaimer: Long Lex Post.

Nice topic, it's one I've thought a lot about as I go through cycles of more and less focus on the AB facet of my life. I'm also a business owner who spends much of his time at work, in the office, tackling the difficulties of running a company with the drive and ambition that becomes an entrepreneur. I've found it requires a very mature and professional demeanor based in sound logic, risk management, and the willingness to bet one's future and income on their best judgements given imperfect information. Many other careers and lives involve this level of focus, time, and in their own unique ways: stress.

The grown up facet of myself is a core part of me. I enjoy the thrill of success, the risk, the adrenaline of working through intense situations, and can ride the successes to the stars, and could pour back another few whiskies to the failures. It's an highly driven lifestyle and isn't for the faint of heart, one might even say it's an extreme.

So how does one live a balance life when their workday consumes much of their time? (often more than 8 hours a day and often more than 5 days per week). Well, when we go to the playground we can take the nice teeter totter and carefully balance it with no one sitting on it and if we're careful we can obtain a state of equilibrium, with no forces acting on either side. However as we add to one side, we have to add an equal amount of to the other in order to maintain a sense of balance. This, I believe, is the crux of the topic.

For myself, I use my 'playtime' (AB time) as a method of stress relief, relaxation, vacation, bliss, and pure enjoyment of the most simple pleasures in life. Imagination becomes my number one source of entertainment, and a paci, bottle, the smell of powder, diapers, and other parts of the experience bring me back to the carefree mentality of summer vacation, holidays, and even better, living with no responsibilities at all. Simply to live, to enjoy life, and to be surrounded by encouraging, pampering people. It's a fantastic way to recharge the batteries, but like anything that's 'play' it can be more enticing than 'work'.

Life, (specifically adult life), isn't always fun. Parking tickets, speeding tickets, jury duty, taxes, bills, retirement, job security, market conditions, funerals, office politics, never enough time and/or money to do the things you really want to do can be a real downer. And sometimes it's hard to come back from a vacation that was entirely too short, whether that vacation was to a sunny island, or to a weekend in bambinos with a great playmate. The attraction to staying in one's role as an AB can be very enticing and hard to come back from. Life is much easier in that role and (hopefully) a lot of fun. I've found myself daydreaming about 'playtime' during the work day and wishing I was there, instead of here.

I think the key to the question at hand is finding that correct, sustainable balance where one is able to best enjoy their AB playtime as well as being a functional member of adult society. I think those who are 24/7 babies have tacitly agreed to share that responsibility with their caregiver who takes those adult responsibilities upon themselves thus relieving the baby of them, which makes the situation sustainable over the long term, so long as both are happy with the terms.

But for those of us without 24/7 caregivers, finding a balance which allows for AB playtime which scratches all the itches it needs to, as well as enjoying who we are outside of diapers is the ideal situation. And just like trying to balance the teeter-totter at the park, it takes time to find out how much needs to be added to the other side of the teeter-totter in order to make it balance. Sometimes one will add too much, then take too much off, then add too little.... but over the course of time, hopefully one finds that perfect balance.

For myself, I haven't found the right balance yet. I'm still working on that, and have some personal hurdles to overcome. (mostly summing the courage to tell someone about it... but c'est la vie, eh?) Perhaps for some the cyclical rounds of lots of AB time followed by long absences of AB time is the perfect balance, for others it might be AB play every day in the evenings, and a daily full adult life at work. And for others, still, perhaps baby or caregiver 24/7. That's one of the neat things about this particular interest, there are so many different levels upon which individuals can find their niche and plenty of overlap between them.

In closing (yeah, I know it's gone on long enough) I think a few key questions might be:

* What do you enjoy about your AB time?

* How does your AB time affect the rest of your life?

* How would you change the quantity and quality of your AB time?

* What effect would those changes have on the rest of your life?

* How does your AB side fit into your undestanding of yourself as a person?

* What do you enjoy about yourself outside of your AB time?

* What can you do to integrate the best parts of all the facets of your identity?

Then again, I may just be overanalyzing. ;-)

--BabyLex

[Creepymouse]

I too have the problem of finding the balance in life. My wonderful wife is both my Mommy and my baby, my Mistress and My slave.

We've agreed that, while I was an AB long before she found her AB side, she needs her Daddy far more than I need Mommy. Sometimes, it gets hard, and I start wanting to be little, when she needs Big to be there for her.

One thing that helps, she doesn't mind Daddy/Master wearing diapers if He wishes to, it doesn't 'tarnish' his Dominance at all. Also, even in Big mode, I am allowed to demand nursing at her breast, which is heavenly. We've been looking for methods of encouraging lactation, as well as discussing the pros and cons of me going 24/7.

I wish I could work from home. I don't know what I could *do* at home, other than sew. My mother and I had a good clothes business until she decided she wasn't going to do it any more. I owe several customers products I don't know how to make, and she already spent the money. Ick! Anyway, if I could work from home, I'd definitely wear 24/7, breastfeed frequently enough to induce lactation, and still be able to give her all she needs.

Blistering her backside is almost as fun as wearing diapers! Of course, padding her sore bottom with a nice diaper fresh out of the dryer, and watching her melt in pleasure as the warm pee gets even warmer as it soaks in to the hot diaper...ooh!