Descent into Diapers (chapter 19 Posted)

[paddy1965]

I think Charlie has a uncle now or maybe a Daddy in future.

[LittleRorie]

Chapter Sixteen

 

I don’t know what came over me after Jen led me to the bathroom, I was just standing there staring at the toilet remembering everything Adam and I talked about and everything that had happened this past week. Part of me wanted to use the toilet, wanted to be independent and self-reliant. The other part of me questioned why I was even thinking about the potty, that the potty was something that I should not worry about, and Mommy always made sure that I was alright. Once Jen helped me with my shorts and got me ready to use the potty like a big boy I just froze, all the thoughts that were in my head were gone. My head was blank except for two things, the potty and Mommy. It was like I had to make a choice, use the potty and push Mommy away or choose Mommy and let her sort things out. Suddenly there were too many emotions boiling over and all I wanted was for Mommy to make things better, I did not want to choose. Of course, I forgot that my pants were down, and when I tried to go to Mommy I just tripped and fell into her arms.

My body kind of took over from there, all my emotions turned into tears, and everything just came out, and I mean everything. When I realized I was wetting myself it only made me cry that much harder, I felt even worse when I realized I just peed on my wife like I was helpless. Luckily Jen is the most wonderful wife I could ever have and a wonderful Mommy. I was not scolded one bit for my accident, she just held me, wet shorts, and all.

The next thing I knew Jen went from hugging me and rubbing my back to picking me up, she didn’t even flinch when she supported my wet bottom. She said bubble bath, which Jen and I do have a garden tub in our privet bathroom and a small tub in the shared one upstairs. Thankfully I have stopped crying, but I still hate that the stairs scare me while I am being held. Once I felt Jen take the first step, I just closed my eyes and held on, I hate being afraid. “You’re ok, I got you,” I heard Jen say while I felt her start rubbing my back again. Jen only paused at the top of the stairs to open the door on the baby gate, to be honest, I am not sure what I think about that thing. Jen did not seem to have any trouble opening it and finally was fully upstairs. I did open my eyes again and I spotted the baby gate closed again, her deterrent for me to not go downstairs without her knowing, it's not that I can’t open it but I just have a hard time.

Jen made her way threw our bedroom and straight into our bathroom before she put me back down on my own two feet. “Mommy, I am sorry I peed on you,” I said again, seeing again that she was as wet as I was, if not more.

“What did I tell you, baby, you got nothing to worry about,” Jen said before kissing my forehead. As I stood in the middle of the bathroom, Jen moved around me and started to turn the faucet onto our garden tub. Once she felt the right temperature was reached, she plugged the drain and moved to get her lavender-scented bubble from under the sink and squirted some of it into the tub. “Come here, sweetie, let’s take those wet clothes off,” she commanded in the sweetest of voices.

“I can do it, Mommy,” I said meekly, still feeling guilty for what just happened.

“I know you can, I just want to help is all,” Jen said softly. I stepped over to her and lowered my gaze. “Baby?” I heard Jen say, probably wondering if I was going to cry again. I saw her hand move to gently guide my chin up so I would be looking at her, I thought she was going to say something but all she did was kiss me on the lips. The shock of her lips touching mine made me focus directly on her. “I tell you what, if you let me help you undress, I will have you help me undress,” I heard her say, pausing momentarily before continuing. “Since we are both wet, how about we share the bubbles? Plus I am sure my little hubby could use some extra cuddles.” I did not know what to say so I just nodded my head.

I soon found my shirt pulled over my head and my shorts and underwear around my ankles allowing me to step out and kicked to the side. Once my clothes were off started to hesitate, but Jen put my hand on my shirt and encouraged me to do as she did. Once I was done helping her out of her clothes and putting them in the same pile as mine, she stepped into the tub and held her hand out so she could help me get in and not slip. Jen sat down first before she guided me between her legs, with my back to her. I just sat there watching the bubble get bigger and bigger, enjoying the skin contact with Jen.

Jen must have been satisfied with the water level because I saw her hand reach beside me and turn the water off. I could not see Jen's face, but I knew she had a smile on by the way I watched her hands start playing with the bubbles in front of me, trying to encourage me to relax and play myself. I started to mimic her hand motions and started to play in the bubbles, letting my stress melt away. I soon watched her hand disappear behind me but soon felt a loofa start scrubbing my back. “Mommy, I can. . .” was all I got out before I got cut off.

“Shh, let me wash you while you play,” she said sweetly, not leaving any room to argue. There was a little bit of silence before I heard Jen ask me a question, “Baby since Sunday night you have been telling me that you can do it like you don’t want me to help you. Why is that?”

I started to pull the memories from now till this last Sunday, she was right. I stopped playing with the bubbles and just folded my hands under the water, though Jen continued to clean me moving to my arms and chest. “I don’t know,” I told her looking down, feeling bad about saying something I didn’t realize I was doing. As her question rattled around in my head, I started to realize. “It’s like part of me wants to be your big bad husband who is strong and independent, and the other part of me just wants to be your little boy and just let you take care of all my worries,” I started to say. As I said those words out loud it was like I had a weight lifted off. “It’s like I have a big side and a little side that is fighting against each other.” My emotions were starting to swell up again as my eyes started to get watery.

“Stand up, sweetie, I want to wash your lower half,” I heard Jen instruct. I did as I was told and stood up covering my front side with my hands. “Honey, I have been trying to tell you that you are more of a little than you thought,” Jen said as she was busy scrubbing my backside.

“Ya, but why does it feel like I have to choose between being your husband and being your baby?” I said, trying to hold my tears back.

“Turn around, for me,” Jen instructed softly giving my butt a playful pat. When Jen saw me covering myself, she just shooed my hands away and got to work making sure I was squeaky clean. “Charlie, you don’t need to choose. You are both, and I love you for who you are, you bring me so much joy,” she said lovingly.

“Yeah, but. . .” I started to say.

“No-no, baby, no butts. You are an amazing person, I know you are having a hard time learning about your little side, but that is why I am here. Let me help you learn and grow,” she encouraged, wiping the tears from my cheeks. “You want to help wash Mommy?” Jen asked, presenting me with the loofa. I looked at the loofa as Jen encouraged me to take it. Jen guided my hands and helped me wash her from top to bottom, front to back.

“All clean Mommy,” I said making her turn around and seeing me blush at her beauty.

“Now that we are clean, we can enjoy the warm water and have some bubble cuddles,” she said, making me look up at her. Jen and I have been married for a while now but seeing her stark naked still makes me blush. Jen sat back down in the bubbles guiding me down to lay on top of her. I found myself much in the same position as she held me when she stood up but just naked, legs around her, my belly touching hers, and my head resting on her breast. Jen just held me there with her arms around me till the water went cold, forcing us to get out and drain the tub.

Once we were out of the tub and all dry, I followed Jen to the bedroom and watched her put on a tank top, clean undies, and shorts. When she was done, she just turned, looked at me, and put her hands on her hips. “Hmm, well I think it safe to say that we can put your undies in storage, if not just get rid of them altogether,” Jen said with a smile, trying to encourage my growing happy mood. I don’t know how she does it, but Jen always knows what to do to make me feel better. Her cuddles soothed my emotions, calming my heart to a normal flutter.

I just stood there nodding my head with my hands trying to cover myself for modesty. “Does that mean I am back in diapers full-time?” I asked, curious about what Jen’s plan was.

“Honey quit playing with yourself,” Jen said moving closer to me, swatting one hand away while taking the other in one of hers. “And you are not ready yet for diapers full-time honey,” she said, answering my question. I was led out of our room, down the hall, and to the closed door of my nursery. Jen looked down at me, still naked, “I am sorry that the first step in your reverse potty training was hard, but it's smooth sailing from here on out. Are you ready to embrace your little side my cute baby hubby?” she said with honey in her voice.

I took a deep breath and squeezed Jen’s hand, “Yes Mommy,” I said nervous and happy at the same time. Jen gently squeezed her hand in return, letting me know she was there and would not let me fall, and then opened my nursery. Jen led me in and over to the now fully stocked changing station and pulled out a pull-up covered with a babyish cartoon character. I did not know what to do, I truly wanted this, but it was still so hard to just jump in.

“It's ok, honey, I know you questioning a lot right now,” she said, drawing my attention from the pull-up to her. “The feeling you are having right now is why I want to take baby steps, your pull-up will help you have the best of both worlds right now, help you transition to your diapers.” Jen just kissed me on my forehead before unfolding the pull-up and helping me step inside. “And up it goes. . . oh, we want you pointing down little sir,” she said getting my new undergarment situated just right. “How does it feel, honey?”

I looked down, it looked different, though I was not sure what I was expecting. “It’s thicker than my boxers, but like super thin compared to the diapers I wear to bed,” I told her before looking back at her. “I thought you said I wet too much for pull-up.”

“For bedtime, yes,” Jen started to explain simply, “but during the daytime, you are still struggling to relax and just let yourself go when you need to. With these, you can still pull them down and use the big boy potty.”

“I still don’t get it, pull-ups are for potty training, not the other way around,” I said confused. Jen just smiled and started to walk over to my chest of drawers, looking for pajamas I presume.

“Normally, yes, pull-ups are used to help potty train. But that does not mean we can not use them to go from potty trained to not,” she said pulling out a similar shirt and short combo to the one I wore last Saturday. “While you are wearing pull-ups, I want you to concentrate on wetting yourself as much as possible,” she said as she slipped the shirt over my head. “When I say as much as possible, I don’t mean in volume, but as in frequency.” Jen held my shorts open as I used hers for balance and stepped in, allowing her to pull them up and over my pull-up. “Don’t you look adorable, look baby, your jammies have a bear on them.”

“If I pee more often then won't that also mean that I would have a lot of pee coming out?” I asked, not quite following her thought process. After Jen stopped admiring how adorable I was in my pajamas she sat down on her knees, held both of my hands, and smiled at me.

“When someone starts to learn to use the potty, we teach them what that feeling is when they got to go potty,” Jen said positively, trying to help me learn. “When our little ones figure out that sensation, they can learn to hold it and go to the toilet and use the potty, the more they practice the longer they learn to hold it. Eventually, it becomes muscle memory.”

“Right, I get that,” I said letting her know she has not lost me yet.

“Ok, so we are going to reverse that,” she said, adding a pause to make sure she still had my attrition. “I want you to focus on forgetting what that sensation is. I want you to try and just keep your bladder relaxed, if you feel the need to potty, let it go.”

That made sense, but one thing still bothered me, “but why the pull-up? Could I just do that in a diaper?”

My questions must have made Jen proud because her smile grew, “Very good, baby, the pull-up will help with two functions. I will be setting you on the potty occasionally, to see if you have been holding your urine. Your goal will barely need to go or not even at all. I want you to go potty in your pull-up without thinking, making the need to use the toilet null and void.”

“What about going number two?” I asked genuinely curious and a little nervous.

“Same concept, you focus on just letting that go as soon as the need arises,” she said simply as if me shitting myself did not phase her one bit. I must have made a face because she continued to say, “Baby, I have already changed your poopy diapers, it’s a natural thing our bodies do, there is nothing to be ashamed of or bashful about. Going pee-pee will be easier but eventually, I am sure both will come naturally to you. The second reason for your pull-ups will be for you to get used to using them in public. It will give you the ability to use the potty when you are having a hard time. Once you have proven that you can't keep your pull-up dry both in public and at home, we will count you as officially un-potty trained and graduate to diapers.”

I stood there, looking Jen in the eyes, soaking up what she had just told me. “How long will it take, and would you ever re-potty train me?”

“Honey, every toddler is different. I am sure you will get it in no time. And potty training in the future is always an option, but don’t stress about that, let’s just focus on today,” Jen said standing up and running her fingers through my somewhat wet hair. Jen took my hand once again and started to lead me out of the room, but I glanced at the crib sitting in the corner and saw Lady Frankie and my stuffed squid sitting inside next to the pillow. I started to walk in that direction so I could grab them and take them with me, I only got a little resistance from Jen before she saw where I was going and let me go.

“There you guys are,” I said as I picked them both up, holding them both in one arm as I reached for Jen’s hand again.

“Did you miss them?” Jen asked, leading me out of the nursery.

“I thought I lost them,” I said before reaching the top of the stairs. “Mommy, can we get rid of the baby gate, I don’t like it.” It was true, it was harder to sneak downstairs in the early mornings.

“Nope, I like it. Keeps you from getting into mischief,” Jen said with a smile before opening the gate and taking the lead down the stairs. Jen put my free hand on the railing and made sure that I did not fall. I could only smile knowing that Jen truly cared for me. “How about we order a pizza for dinner, you had an eventful evening, and I don’t feel like cooking.”

I just shrugged my shoulders, “Do I have to eat? I did eat lunch and breakfast.” My comment earned me a look from Jen.

“We don’t have to have pizza, but I would like for you to eat a little something,” Jen said encouragingly, making her way to the kitchen. I did not know what I wanted, not even sure if I was hungry or not hungry. I followed Jen to the kitchen like a lost puppy, I was enjoying being next to her way too much. I stood by her side, not touching her but just close enough to feel her warm aura, but I did hear Jen root around in the cabinet, probably getting a drink for her or me. “So, what is your squid's name, baby? Oh, found it.” I heard her ask as I was not paying attention.

“I don’t know, maybe Kraki because he is a baby kraken?” I said looking at my stuffed squid, listening to Jen fill up a glass of water. Suddenly, I felt something get shoved in my mouth, though after a quick inspection with my tongue and the feeling I had around my mouth told me it was a pacifier. I quickly looked up to Jen and tried to push it out, but she just held it in giving me the look of don’t you dare take it out.

“I have been looking for your binky for a while, since Monday morning,” Jen said surprised at how long it stayed hidden from her. “I tell you what my cute little monster, you either can eat pizza with me, give me a suggestion on what you would like to eat, or I will be satisfied if you let me make you a healthy smoothie you can drink from your bottle.” My eyes widened; I knew she was serious. I watched her turn to pull down my bottle, which made me start to scramble for words.

“Mommy, wait,” I lisped behind my pacifier. I almost thought she did not understand me so went to reach to take it out before her eye caught what I was about to do.

“Leave it,” Jen said firmly, “I can understand you just fine baby.” I watch Jen pull out the blender from the cabinets below and then some berries, bananas, almond milk, and some yogurt. I got one more look from Jen, and a moment of pause, questioning if I had a final answer to what I wanted to eat. A smoothie did sound good, Jen usually made really good ones, but why did it need to be in the bottle?

I looked at her with a worried look and did my best to talk around my pacifier, “A smoothie sounds good, but no bottle, please.”

“Smoothie it is, but why no bottle? You like your bottle; well, you did this last weekend.” Jen commented, before tossing the ingredients into the blender. I could not bear to watch what she decided to put it in, so I went to the living room and sat on the far side of the couch. I heard the blender turn on and then off, but Jen took a minute to come into the living room to find me. Eventually, I watched her come in, tapping on her phone, and holding one of my lidded cups that had a straw. I did not know how much my pacifier hid my smile, but I was so happy that I got a cup. Jen set her phone down at the same time she sat down on the opposite end of the couch I was sitting on. From the glance I took at her phone I saw she just ordered her pizza from our favorite pizza joint that was super close to the house. Jen did not give me the smoothie rather she used it to lure me closer to her, most likely to snatch me up and hold me.

I eagerly took the bait, getting up and going to her. Jen handed me the cup with one hand instructing me, “Both hands please.” Once I started to reach for the cup she reached for my pacifier, pulling it from my mouth. “Do not hide your pacifier little boy, or you will get two more in its place with one strapped to your shirt,” Jen said playfully, though I felt like she was not just teasing. I still earned a smile and soon found myself on her lap, watching TV as she waited for the pizza. We made it almost to the end of one of the episodes of our show before we got a knock at our door, earning a playful pat on the exposed part of my butt, reminding me of my pull-up that somehow escaped my mind.

I slid off Jen’s lap, setting my drink on the coffee table. When the door opens, and I see the pizza guy I suddenly get self-conscious in my pajamas, though I had no way of hiding. Jen eventually got her pizza from the delivery person, shut the door, and made her way back to her spot on the couch. I took the spot beside her as she set her pizza box on the coffee table and opened it up. With us both settled, the show played on and we both enjoyed our dinner, however, her pizza did smell good. I was nearly done with my smoothie when

Jen paused the show to get herself a drink, I could not help but just eye her pizza. Normally she just gets mushrooms and olives put on her pizza, which makes me wonder why she did not this time. She only got pepperoni and ham, which is my favorite combo, it was simple and delicious. Jen surprised me when she got back, “What took you so long? I thought you were just getting a drink?” I asked, trying to figure out what sorcery she was brewing up in the kitchen.

“I was getting your bottle ready for later, I think it will be a nightly ritual for us,” she said, pressing play to the show once again. I finished the last slurps of my smoothie, looking perplexed.

“Bottle? Ritual? Why, I had dinner, I ate good, I don’t need a bottle, Mommy!” I said with a whine to my voice.

“No need to get fussy, honey. I noticed the nights I got you to drink some warm milk from your bottle before bed you actually slept a little longer, and then I think your binky also has been helping,” Jen said, almost sounding like she was talking to me as if I was a toddler.

“I do not,” I said with a huff, putting my cup down on the coffee table and cuddling into her.

“Deny all you want but the last few days that I did not give you a bottle and your binky, you did not stay in bed very long. You barely make it to three AM before you start wiggling,” Jen says, as she grabs her third slice of pizza. Now I am good, I was full enough to be satisfied and did not have the energy to eat. . . However, Jen's pizza did look good. About halfway through her current slice, she saw me eye her food. “I thought I didn’t want pizza?” Jen said with a hint of sarcasm in her voice. I instantly turned to watch the show, ignoring what Jen was doing. When Jen grabbed a fourth slice, she only took one small bite before she said, “I don’t think I can finish this piece, if only there was someone that would help me.” With that comment I knew exactly what her plan was all along, she is so mean. “Baby, you want a bite of Mommy’s food?” Jen asked, lacing her words with sugar.

I tried to ignore her and just watch TV but of course, I knew Jen was not done, trying to con me into eating something solid. “Not even one little bite?” Jen said putting the slice of pizza in my far peripheral, making me turn my head to look at it. Jen scooted the slice closer to my mouth and gent said, “Bite.” I just took a deep breath and gave in, knowing she would bug me if I didn’t. “There we go, good job,” she cooed, praising me for a simple task. Jen took turns eating her slice of pizza and feeding me a bite, I did not want to admit but the pizza was good, and I was glad she wanted to share. Jen left the last half of the pizza alone and did not move to put it in the fridge till we were a couple more episodes in from finishing the fourth slice together, which instead of pausing the show she turned it off.

I stayed on the couch, falling to my side as Jen got up, too comfortable to move. Jen just smiled at me before she closed the pizza box and took it to the kitchen. I heard the fridge open and then close a short moment later, and then there were a few beeps before I heard the microwave turn on. “Charlie, sweetie, come here for a minute,” I heard Jen say from the kitchen. With a soft groan, I rolled off the couch and trudged to the kitchen. As I reached the kitchen, I watched Jen pull out a cup of milk from the microwave and pour it into my bottle. When she was done, she just put the top on, raised the cup, and then reached down and put her hand on my pull-up. “Feels dry, lets see if your stars are fading,” Jen says pulling my shorts down without worrying.

“Mommy,” I said on reflex, moving my hands to pull my shorts up.

“Sweetie, just relax,” Jen said, putting her hands on mine, stopping me from pulling my shorts up. “Did you forget your wearing a pull-up?”

I just nodded my head and blushed, “It feels so thin, I just forgot.”

“That makes me happy, that means you’re comfortable in them,” Jen said with a smile, before pointing to the padding I was wearing. “See these stars, they will disappear if you get them wet.”

“I forgot to go potty, I’m So. . .” I tried to say before Jen put a finger to my lips.

“Baby, you need to quit apologizing, you not doing anything wrong. You won't get it at first,” Jen said before turning me around and ushering me towards the downstairs bathroom. As soon as I stepped in and I saw the same potty I had my little meltdown, but mommy did not have me face it. Jen turned me around to face her as she pulled my shorts down, leaving my pullup on, picked me up, and placed me on the potty. Jen must have felt how nervous I was, she did not let me go, her hand was on the outer part of each thy. “Try and go pee-pee sweetie,” Jen said encouragingly.

“But Mommy, you forgot to pull my pull-up down,” I said hesitantly.

“If we were potty training I would agree,” Jen started to say. “Remember, we are working on getting you used to using your pull-up.” Jen just rubbed my legs and smiled, “Just relax, honey, the pull-up can hold more than what you think. Take a deep breath and . . . Good job, sweetie,” she praised as she started to see stars disappear, indicating I was finally going potty. “Good job sweetie, that was not so bad,” I don’t know why it was hard to pee, maybe it was Jen watching me, or because I did not want to use the potty, but hearing her praise me made me feel like I did a good job. After a little while Jen just looked at me caringly, “You done, baby?”

“Yes Mommy,” I said, giving her a slight nod. Jen helped me off the potty and pulled my shorts up over my wet pull-up. I furrowed my brow and looked down at my covered pull-up and then back at the potty.

“Don’t you worry yourself about the potty honey, you were my good little boy and went in your pull-up,” she said, giving me a gentle kiss on my cheek. “Depending on how soggy you are will determine if we put a fresh pull-up on. But since you are about to go night-night, I will just take you up to your nursery and get you put in your night diaper,” she said with a smile. Jen helped me wash my hands and hers at the same time and then ushered me back out of the bathroom. “Go get Lady Frankie and Kraki,” Jen instructed, pointing to where they were on the couch. Jen waited for me to move before she stepped into the kitchen, presumably to grab the bottle she was going to give me.

As I walked to the couch I noticed a large difference in my pull-up, I could tell that it was saturated. If I were to go potty again, I am not sure how much it was going to hold. If Jen’s plan works eventually, I will be going through these pull-ups quite a bit. By the time I grabbed my bunny and squid and made it to the bottom of the steps Jen was right behind me with my bottle and pacifier in her hand. Before we started our assent Jen made sure all the lights were off and the front door was locked. “Mommy, I am not tired,” I said, winning about going to bed at nine o’clock at night.

“You’re not going to bed just yet, I still need to change your diaper and give you your bottle,” she said, reaching over me to open the gate.

“It’s a pull-up Mommy, not a diaper,” I corrected her.

“Sorry, I need to change your pull-up into a nice thick comfy diaper, so my baby sleeps all night without waking up,” Jen corrected herself, most likely with a smirk on her face. Jen guided me into the nursery and hoisted me up onto the changing table. As Jen pulled my shorts off and started to rip my pull-up, I started reflecting on the day. Today I think I finally saw the last of my grownup underpants. Somehow the events that happened since Jen came home were scary yet magical, I don’t think I could do this without her. Before I knew it Jen was blowing raspberries on my tummy. “There's my little daydreamer,” I hear Jen say as I try to hold my giggles in. Before Jen let me down, she put my shorts back on, completing my pajamas once more. I stood there looking at Jen for what to do next, she held my bottle and pacifier in her hands, looking back and forth from the rocker to the crib.

I started to get worried, Jen took a step towards the crib making me cry out, “Mommy, no. I want to sleep with you.”

“Baby, I know you want to sleep with me, and I want you to as well,” Jen started to say softly. I did not understand why I was so emotional since my meltdown in the bathroom but all I felt compelled to do was follow her to try and get closer to her. Jen kept taking steps to the crib before I got to her and I was nearly in tears. “Oh, you are tired,” she said as she set my bottle and pacifier aside to pick me up.

“No crib, Mommy,” I started to cry. I instantly went to try and attach myself to Jen like a little koala to its mother, holding on to dear life.

“Hush now,” Jen cooed as she just rocked me side to side. It didn’t take long before Jen laid down with me in the crib, it only took one role for her to get me lying between her and the railing, leaving the open side to her back. Jen just laid there with me, stroking my face and playing with my hair. After a moment I felt Jen’s hand leave me, making me look to see what she was doing. She reached up and flipped a switch making the airplane mobile on the crib start flying in circles and playing a soft lullaby. The next thing she did was reach behind her, grab the bottle, and present the nipple to my lips. I knew the milk tasted good, but I did not want to go to bed, this was not fair, I wanted to stay up. I tried to turn my head away but as she rubbed the nipple of the bottle on my lips a little drop of milk slipped out making me reflexively open my mouth. Jen took the opportunity and put the nipple in my mouth, but I still did not start sucking it. “You really not going to drink?” Jen said lightly.

The saliva in my mouth got too much and I had no choice other than to swallow, starting the chain effect of me suckling the bottle and drinking the sweet and warm milk. I tried to put a pouty face on while I was drinking but Jen just smiled and continued to cuddle me. Halfway through I tried to force my eyes to stay open, but I couldn’t. I just needed to close them for a little bit, then I would open them again, but then again, Mommy was warm.

           

 

The next thing I remember was sitting on a lawn chair at the airport with my airplanes flying above in a circle, though that is normal, I do have slow days at work when I can just enjoy the day. I took another drink of my milk before looking to my right, noticing that Jen was at work with me. “Jen? What are you doing here? It’s the middle of the day,” I asked confused.

“You’re so silly, baby, we are having lunch together. Alice said you were having a bad day and were missing me.” Jen responded with a smile. “If you are done with your bottle, we can go back inside?”

Bottle? I quickly looked at my glass of milk, why was it a bottle? “Mommy I can drink this at work, it’s not professional. I watched Mommy just take my bottle and put it behind her into her purse. “Thanks, please promise you won’t do that again,” I asked as politely as I could.

“Of course, sweetie,” Mommy just smiles, stroking my face gently. “Honey since lunch is over, I need to go back to work myself,” As Mommy got up out of her chair, I suddenly felt cold.”

“Jen, please don’t go,” I said without thinking. “Erm, I mean Mommy, you can stay if you want.”

Mommy just smiled and ran her hands threw my hair, “Shh, it's ok.” Mommy then kissed me on the lips before putting a pacifier in my mouth. I tried to pull it out, but I only heard Mommy's soft voice, “Shh, only Mommies can take these out, be a good boy for Mommy, won’t you?” I couldn’t talk but just watch as she helped my best friend Lady Franky in the chair next to mine and our good buddy Kraki in the other chair. “Here, baby, your friends will keep you company while I am gone, ok?” Jen soothed me, making me feel better, work is always better with friends. Before Mommy left, she reached down and felt my diaper, “This won't stay dry for long will it, baby? It's ok, that is what your diapers are for.

It was a little embarrassing to have Mommy check my diaper at work but it's ok, I know she does it because she cares. I watched Mommy close the fence around where we were sitting, watching my airplanes fly around. She was also kind enough to turn on the lamp across the yard, Mommy is the best, always thinking of me.

Once I realized Mommy was not going to come back, I decided to go back inside, there were tons of things that needed to get done. As I walked through the door I saw my reflection in the window, I was still in my jammies that Mommy put on. It did bother me, but what was I going to do, I was already at work. I made my way through the building passing Aunty Alice in her office, she was always busy, though she always seemed to be checking on me. Luckily my office was right next door to hers and she never had to go far to find me.

“Good morning little Charlie, you have a good lunch with Mommy,” I heard my secretary Haylie say from her desk. I could not believe my ears; did she say what I thought she said? I tried to talk but my Mommy left my binky in my mouth, so all I could do was nod my head in shame. “Good deal, I am sure you will be good to go for the rest of the day,” she said as I tried to sneak into my office.

When I sat down at my desk, I went to pick up my play telephone and pretended to make phone calls like Mommy and Aunty Alice do, because that is what grownups do. After a few phone calls, Lady Frankie started to make a commotion, asking to go play. I could only put my play phone up and join her, I mean what was I going to say? The more I played with my best bunny friend the more my office seemed to just melt away. After a while, I paused and looked around. Why is my office filled with baby toys? I got to go to work, this is work!

With a great whoosh everything went blank, and all the color just disappeared in a title wave of water that was pitch black. I turned around to figure out where everything was but all I saw was nothingness an empty void. I was never afraid of the dark, or being alone, but this pit of unholy darkness would give even the strongest and bravest nightmares. Soon panic started to creep up my spine, I still could not see anything, but I could feel it.

Suddenly a monstrous vice, deep and scratchy called out, “Charlie.”

I spun around as quickly as I could, causing the binky Mommy gave me to fall from my mouth. Instantly there was emptiness inside me, matching the increasingly rising panic. Once again, I tried to look around to find someone or something to focus on but there was nothing. Maybe if I start walking, I will get some ware, this place cannot last forever. In the distance I saw a small little light, ‘What is that?’ I thought to myself, trying to pick up a small jog to get there faster. There was only so far, I could go till I felt like I was not going anywhere, it was like there was some barrier keeping me from going anywhere.

“Charlie,” The monster's voice cried out again.

“Who are you,” I shouted back as I spun around, putting my back to the invisible barrier. What! it can't be, “GO AWAY,” I screamed, trying to get my childhood nightmare to leave me alone. What was this guy doing here? I thought I was done with this guy. I rubbed my eyes to try and make him go away but he was still there in all his glory at a whopping eight foot tall. All I knew was this guy was a menace to me as a kid, his giant long fangs were always dripping with saliva, and his scaly body was all sorts of dark green except for his tan leathery belly. He always stood on his hind legs, and his arms were so long they almost dragged on the floor when he walked. When I saw him stretch his giant hands across the darkness to reach for me all I could do was just turn away and close my eyes, this barrier was keeping me trapped with this monster.

“GO AWAY, GO AWAY,” I shouted at the top of my lungs, as tears started to roll down my face.

“Charlie,” I heard in an odd voice, not caring what it sounded like I still just tried to find a way out. There must be a way out, why was I stuck? Was this barrier covered in glue, this is not fair. Maybe if I just close my eyes, it won’t see me, that works right? Suddenly the barrier just disappeared like it was never there.

“AH, MONSTER, GO AWAY,” I screamed as my life depended on it, the monster finally got me, out of all these years it was now that it finally got me. I tried to squirm and thrash but it was no use, I was trapped. Tears were flowing like a waterfall from my eyes, I would never see Mommy again. If she was here, she could scare the monster away.

 

“Wake up Charlie, you're having a nightmare,” I hear from the right beside me. I try to open my eyes but it’s no use, there are too many tears, and I can’t see. At least that’s one good thing, at least I won't see when the monster eats me. “Baby, wake up!” I hear a woman say, she almost sounds worried. “You’re having a nightmare, sweetie,” I hear the voice say again.

How can this be, this is no nightmare, this is real, the monster has me in its hand. If this was a nightmare, why would I be able to feel the warmth from its soft scaley skin, and why would the monster sound like Mommy? . . . Wait, Mommy?

 

 

As if by magic I could open my eyes again, and I could see my room again. The light was still on, and I was safely in Mommy's arms. The fear though was still inside me, very much lingering like a smoldering flame amongst a pile of ash. “You're ok, sweetie, I got you,” I hear Jen say lovingly as I feel her sway back and forth, rubbing my back.

“Mommy, it was so scary, it was so real,” I said between sobs. I did my best to regain my composure, it took all of my willpower to just stop crying. The spine-numbing panic though left me shivering, the only thing that was warm enough it seemed like was Jen. I didn’t know where we were going and I didn’t care, I just clung to her, desperately holding on as if my soul depended on it.

“You’re ok, baby, Mommy has you,” Jen said trying to soothe me as she was walking.

“I don’t know what happened,” I managed to say meekly, “suddenly you were there, and then you weren’t. I eventually fell into darkness and my boogie monster came to eat me.”

“Honey, you’re safe,” I heard Jen say softly, “It was just a nightmare, I know it seemed real, but it is not real.” I tried to look around, but it was still so dark all around, why was it still dark? I felt Jen sit down and gently crawl back into ‘our’ bed and hold me close, covering us both in covers. I took a deep breath in with my nose, and I smelled the familiar scent of lavender and Jasmin, as long as Mommy was here, I knew I was safe.

“Mommy,” I said barely audible from beneath the covers.

“Yes darling,” I not only heard her say but felt as well. Normally I would not be cling this tight or so close, but she was the only thing keeping me comfortable right now.

“Can you turn the lamp on, please?” I asked desperately hoping my boogie monster wouldn’t come again. I never hear Jen say a word, just a small movement and a ‘click.’

[LittleRorie]

Chapter Seventeen

I never went back to sleep since Jen rescued me from my nightmare, I was too frightened. I have not dreamt of that monster in so long, why now? Either way, it didn’t matter, Jen has not let go of me since. I think I scared her as much as my nightmare scared me. Eventually, I did notice a difference in Jen’s breathing, signifying that she was able to go back to sleep. It did not bother me, it never has, Jen was always able to sleep better than I did. Eventually, I did try and move, I wanted to put my head above the covers. I tried to move without alarming Jen but as I started to gently wiggle Jen reflexively jumped and lifted the covers, seeing what was wrong. “Shh, Shh, Shh,” I heard her whisper, as she adjusted me herself, bringing me from under the covers, pressed to her stomach to being held in the crook of her arm.

My head rested on the soft spot just above her breast, the arm I was tucked into wrapped around me like a seatbelt, holding me tight. Jen was not going to be letting me go. I took a heavy breath, trying not to make a sound but I must have let out a soft cry that reached her ears, earning me a kiss on the tip of my head as Jens reached over me and magically pulled my stuffed bunny out of the nightmare, I thought I left her and into my arms. Feeling the soft plush of the bunny made me feel safe, so I hugged it tight. With my emotions still not fully in check I accidentally started to sniffle, and a tear was forming against my will. “Shh, baby, you’re ok,” Jen whispered as she wiped my tears, “here, honey, let's put this back in.” Jen gently pushed the pacifier back into my mouth and then just went back to hold me.

Even with the position I could not sleep, every time I moved Jen woke back up, worried that I was having a nightmare. I felt so bad, Jen was not getting any rest tonight and it was all because of me. After the third time wiggling Jen started to hum a lullaby and just rubbed my back. I desperately tried not to move so she could sleep, I even did my best to relieve myself and not flinch. Eventually, the sun came up and shone its bright light through the windows. As I lay there clutching Lady Franke, with Jen doing just the same to me, I waited for Jen to make the first move to get up for the day. Suddenly I felt Jen's hand squeeze my diaper, figuring out if it would last till she fed me breakfast. “You didn’t go back to sleep did you baby?” I heard Jen say as I lay there listening to her heartbeat as I pretended to sleep. It wasn’t because I had a pacifier in my mouth I just did not want to talk, so I shook my head no. “Don’t worry, I was in and out of sleep myself, too worried about you,” she said softly.

When she said that I instantly felt horrible, Jen did not sleep because of me. This is why I sneak to the other rooms to be awake; I don’t want to bother the ones that were able to sleep. “I’m sorry,” I softly pouted, trying to hold back the emotions that just won’t go away. I went from holding my bunny to hugging her.

“Oh, honey, don’t cry,” I heard Jen say as she wiped another tear from my cheek. “I did not mean that in a bad way,” she said, apologizing herself as she sat up and pulled me into her lap, holding my head next to her chest. I didn’t think I was crying, just sad and felt responsible for Jen not sleeping. I sat on her lap trying not to move as she held me, but after a few minutes I felt myself get pulled back allowing Jen to kiss me on top of the pacifier before whispering ever so softly, “I got to potty, baby.” The way she was holding me made me feel awkward scooting off her lap, my soggy diaper only made me feel that much more childish. I stood where I was as I watched her get up and saunter into the bathroom. It was useless for me to go in there, I was wearing my potty. “Charlie,” I heard Jen sing, calling to me like a siren calling a sailor.

My feet moved without thinking, but only peeked my head to find her sitting on the toilet, using her finger to single me to come closer. I meekly stepped in and stood in front of her, holding my bunny and pacifier still stuck in my mouth. It was still a new thing for Jen to check my diaper, but she still tugged my shorts down just enough for her to hold her hand on the front of my diaper. What was she doing, didn’t she just squeeze it before we rolled out of bed? “Baby, go potty with Mommy,” Jen said sweetly, making me blush. I tried to step back but I was denied, “No-no baby, stay still. I want you to try and go pee-pee, your diaper is wet but nowhere near as wet as it should be for how much you drank before bedtime. If I had to guess you had a hard time going while trying to lay still in my arms.” How does she know me so well, I did go potty when I was laying there, not all the way but enough to take the edge off. I took a deep breath in and held it and suddenly I felt my diaper getting warm and with Jen’s hand there she felt it too because I suddenly heard her go as well. As soon as we started to go, she released her hand from my diaper and just pulled my shorts up and praised me, “You such a good boy, good job baby.”

After our morning potty break, we both went downstairs and went straight to the kitchen, I took my seat on one of the stools at the island while Jen worked her magic and made the coffee pot produce the sweet nectar of life. As the coffee brewed, she got two mugs down and prepped them so all she had to do was just pour the coffee in. “Honey,” Jen said gently, getting my attention as she turned to face me, “would you like to talk about the nightmare you had last night?” I didn’t want to talk about it, I did not even like talking about it as a kid. Eventually, my nightmares just stopped, I thought I had just outgrown them, evidently, I was wrong.

“No, not really,” I said with a heavy lisp that was caused by the pacifier. The more that the daylight rose and the more I moved around the more my emotions were able to be kept in check. I must have looked ok because Jen did not seem to press too hard, she just wanted to comfort me.

“I am always here if you do,” Jen said with a sympathetic smile before glancing at the coffee pot to see if there was enough coffee to start pouring. We both just existed there in silence. When the coffee was done Jen ushered me out the back door so we could enjoy our morning cup of joe while soaking up the morning sun in the fresh crisp air before it turned hot. “Baby, you need to take your binky out if you are going to drink that,” Jen giggled, making me slightly hesitate in trying to grab it and pull it out. Jen just held her hand out, wanting me to hand my pacifier to her. Jen just smiled as she set it down on the arm of her wooden lawn chair, next to her mug. “You don’t need to keep your binky in if you don’t want it, honey,” Jen said to me with a smile, sipping her coffee, “just don’t hide it like you did, please.” I just took a sip of coffee myself, trying to avoid the conversation. “Today is Friday, would you like to do anything? I only have about an hour of work I need to do in the office but other than that I am free to do whatever,” Jen said, trying to make small talk I presume.

I was supposed to be on vacation, we should go do something, “Shure,” I responded, not knowing what we could do.

“We could even go get ice cream later if you wanted,” Jen said suddenly, trying to act natural at her comment. I was all good about the whole going out till she just mentioned ice cream, Jen never talks about sweets before breakfast, let alone treating me specifically to it without a warning of ‘if I eat well.’ Jen was about to tell me something I was not going to like, and I had not drunk enough coffee to even want to know.

“I am good, Mommy. Let’s just stay at home and not do anything,” I said trying to backtrack on my earlier comment of ‘sure.’ I watched Jen shift in her seat, take a sip of coffee, and start to fidget with my pacifier.

“So, earlier I talked to my mother some more,” Jen started to say, leaving a brief pause trying to judge my reaction. I still was not happy with her and what happened last weekend, Jen will need to do better than ice cream. I looked at her, waiting for her to continue. “Mother is sorry for how she acted and wanted to make it up to you,” Jen said softly, trying to sweeten her words to task better than the thought of spending any time with my Mother-in-law.

“Make it up to me how?” I asked inquisitively, trying to figure out as much as I could before I started bargaining.

Jen left an awkward pause before she simply said, “She wants to go do something with us and just hang out.” I took a drink of my coffee to prevent me from saying anything that would get me in trouble. But that did not stop my eyebrows from raising and my eyes from widening from trying to see where any of what she said sounded like a good idea. “She just wants to show you that she means no ill will and just wants to spend time with us,” Jen said, trying to convince me to at least think about it.

“Let me guess, she wants to take me to a little splash park or a petting zoo, oh I know she wants to shove me in a stroller and parade me around public and humiliate me,” I said a little too sharply. “Whatever it is, ice cream is not worth that embarrassment.”

“I understand your frustration,” Jen said, prepping me for her rebuttal. “I told Mother that if she was going to do anything she had to treat you with the utmost respect as my husband.”

“Mommy,” I started to say, trying to figure out what words I wanted to say next. I desperately wanted to tell her a very rude no, but I doubt she would let this conversation end if I just straight-up refused. “If I was to say ok, and go; what does she want to go and do? And please don’t say go out to eat, I don’t want to eat,” I spoke the truth, and I knew there was going to be a separate conversation for what I said but all I got now was a worried eye from her.

“Mother wanted you to choose something,” Jen said, still looking worried about the other comment I made. I looked down at my coffee and swirled around the last bit of it, trying to figure out what we could do and not feel childish. As I racked my brain there was only one thing that kept on popping up, but I had to make sure I was not going to be paraded around like a toddler.

“I get to be dressed like an adult?” I asked, trying to check my list of needs.

“Of course, sweetie,” Jen said as I noticed a small twinkle in her eye.

“No baby stuff, just us hanging out doing stuff,” I demanded more than I asked, earning me a motherly smile.

“Outside of bringing your diaper bag so we have spare pull-ups, you would be correct,” Jen said, adjusting my demand. I just stared at her, waiting for something, anything to signify that there was anything else.

“There is a new aerospace museum close to the airport, I have yet to check it out and I would love to go and look. I was told that it was a really good size one and had a cool collection of old war planes and a few helicopters,” I blurted out, getting more excited the more I talked about it. “Plus, ice cream,” I added at the last minute.

“If you eat well, then yes,” Jen said with a smile, setting our plans in stone with a smile. Jen stood up and walked back into the house, grabbing both our cups along the way.

“Mommy, I was not done with that,” I cried, chasing after her, “And you did not originally state I had to eat well to get ice cream,” I whined following her into the kitchen. Jen rinsed the cups out before setting them in the sink but turned back to me, who was standing an arm’s length away, trying to plead my case for my coffee and ice cream.

“Baby, you were playing with your coffee, if you want more you need to ask nicely, there is no need to get fussy. And your little comment negated my original offer on no-strings-attached ice cream,” Jen said firmly, bending down to my level. I tried to hold my ground but when Jen said I was being fussy all I could do was blush at the thought of how she had seen me this morning.

“Not fussy,” I said in a hushed tone, looking away, causing Jen to just giggle.

“What was that baby? I don’t think I heard you.” I heard Jen say mockingly, probably with a smirk on her face. I did not want to answer her, but I took too long to answer she gently guided my head back to look at her, implying she truly wanted me to repeat what I said.

            “I am not fussy,” I said flatly.

“Of course not,” she said before kissing me on the forehead. “My baby is just hungry and needs his breakfast.” Jen only gave me a moment to express my dissatisfaction with my face before she turned back to the pantry and looked for something to make for breakfast. Looking back at it now I probably could have gotten away with skipping a meal today but my little comment was going to make Jen keep an extra eye on me today. I just moved to sit on the same stool as before, causing my cold and wet diaper to squish.

“Mommy, can I get a diaper change?” I asked, not liking the feel of my bottom.

“After breakfast, sweetie,” Jen said pulling out oatmeal to make for breakfast. I just sat there watching Jen cook us breakfast, as she was waiting for the water to boil, she pulled out some of the rest of the barriers from last night and cut them up. Before long breakfast was ready and she presented me with a small bowl and a cup of Water as she sat next to me with her bowl and a glass of water.

“Can I have the sugar?” I asked softly.

“Take a bite first, sweetie,” Jen instructed as she took a bite of her oatmeal. I knew Jen always meant well, and she did her best to cater to my needs, she never tried to overfeed me, but my plates often were a lot smaller than hers when she knew I was going to be picky that day. Jen's bowl was a normal ceramic one, with an average spoon. As far as mine, I had a smaller blue bowl with a spoon smaller than hers. I mean yeah it fits my hands better but why can I not have the same thing as her? I want the big stuff; I was an adult after all.

“Mommy, I want the big bowl,” I said, trying not to whine as I took a bite. Jen was just staring at me, looking at my face to see my reaction. Once the oatmeal hit my taste buds, I realized that Jen already put sugar in the oatmeal for me. “Mmm, this is good, thank you,” I said before going in for another bite. Jen smiled at my comment before she took another bite.

“Charlie baby, you got a smaller bowl because I know you will not eat that much. And your utensils are just fine, they are the perfect size for you. You don’t need a pitchfork or shovel for your food when you’re only filling a little tummy,” Jen said before taking a drink. We both ate our food, though I was reminded I was to drink my cup of water before getting up.

I was about to step into the living room before Jen stopped me, “Hold on, sweetie,” she said firmly before feeling my rump and then pulling the back of my diaper open. “Honey, do you not get too poopy?” she asks nonchalantly. I was a little lost for words but managed to shake my head now. “No worries let's get your soggy but in something a little dryer,” she said happily and patted my butt to get me to start walking again.

Jen got me ready first, leading me to my nursery to get my diaper off and a pull-up on. She also let me pick out my shirt, and I chose a blue polo shirt with small planes all around it in a symmetrical pattern. Jen complemented my choice with a pair of khaki shorts and low-cut socks. Jen did ask if I wanted to play in my nursery while she got ready, but I quickly said no and followed her to our room. While Jen was getting ready, I did my best to make our bed, which still came out with wrinkles. I Sat my bunny by the pillow to signify that this was where I wanted to sleep tonight. I eventually just went to sit in the chair that was in the corner of the room to wait for Jen to finish getting ready. When she did emerge, she was matching me with a light blue button-up and a pair of white shorts, she looked smart yet comfortable, ready for whatever the day threw at her. I also noticed a subtle hint of makeup with her hair neatly brushed and left down. “Charlie let's brush your teeth before we go,” Jen said standing in the bathroom doorway.

“Ok,” was all I said, hopping out of the chair. I tried to reach for my toothbrush, but Jen grabbed it first and put my little dollop of toothpaste on it for me before handing it to me. I tried not to read too much into it and just brush my teeth, but while I was doing that Jen started to brush my hair and styling. I looked at her in the mirror and tried to whine but she just gave me a look that made me just mind my own business and let her do what she wanted. Once Jen was satisfied with my grooming I went out of the room and started to fiddle with the baby gate at the top of the stairs. “Mommy, why do you always close this when I am up here,” I ask as she walks past me and back into my nursery, making me turn my head in question, “Mommy?” What is she doing?

“I just needed to get your diaper bag, and the gate is to keep you up here with me, so you don’t go get into mischief, remember,” Jen said as she reached over to me and effortlessly opened the gate. I got down three steps before I heard Jen’s voice behind me, “Hold on to the railing please.”

“Mommy,” I whine as I do as I am told. Why is she doing this, I am an adult.

“Baby,” I hear Jen say behind me, matching my whiney tone. I tried to glance back to give her a glare of unappreciation, but in turn, I missed a step and nearly had my heart just out of my chest. I was able to catch myself and not fall but that still did not save my pride. I did not hear any comment from Jen, but I could feel her gaze upon me. While I put my shoes on Jen walked around the house to make sure things were all locked before putting her shoes on. I was ushered out the front door, but I did not go any further till I knew she was locking the door. I wanted to be romantic and hold Jen’s hand to the car, but I am sure from another point of view it looked like Mommy holding her child’s hand, so they didn’t run off. I figured we were going to be taking the SUV but when I tried to pull my hand from Jens to get in the front seat, I was unable to free myself. Panic instantly set in; this was not happening again. “Charlie, please,” Jen said sympathetically causing me to look up at her as I was struggling to get myself free.

“Mommy, I don’t want to go anymore, please. I don’t like the car seat,” I pleaded.

“This is the only thing that my mother asked of me, she told me she would lay off and let me be Mommy if I at least kept you in a car seat,” Jen said, explaining why she was not letting go.

“But why don’t I have to wear one in the sports car or the jeep?” I asked trying to make sense of it all.

“Both of your cars already have a five-point harness for you in the driver’s seat, not to mention a role cage on them as well. I argued that fact, leaving you just in a car seat when you are in the SUV,” Jen said, defending her decision.

“Then let’s take the car or the jeep,” I suggest, as I slowly realize I was not winning this argument at all.

“Mother will not ride in your car, she barely likes you driving it, but that is not up to her. And your jeep only has two seats,” Jen explained as she opened the back seat. I tried to get in the back by myself to at least save myself some dignity, but I was soon swooped up and placed in my assigned seat. I also tried to buckle myself but soon found my hand only got in the way. Before Jen shut my door, she pulled my bunny out of my baby blue diaper bag, which at least looked like a me-sized back-back. I reached for Lady Frankie but looked at Jen confused. “I snagged her off the bed when you ran out, I was going to ask you if you wanted to take her, but I just thought you might need her on the drive, so I decided for you,” she said, explaining her actions.

“Mommy, you said I would be treated like an adult today,” I said, trying to remind her of our earlier conversation. Jen just kissed my forehead, shut my door, and walked around to the driver’s side. When she hopped in, she put my diaper bag in the back seat next to me along with her purse. Jen left my diaper bag unzipped which let me see part of the contents of what she had in there.

“Charlie, you are an adult,” Jen said with a smile before turning her attention forward and starting the SUV. My mind was muddled with her comment, it did not make sense.

“But Mommy, I am sitting in a car seat, wearing pull-ups, holding a stuffed bunny, and you have a diaper bag packed for me with only three extra pull-ups and two diapers. You probably have a spare change of clothes and my pacifier in there too. How is that saying I am an adult?” I asked as I hugged my bunny for comfort.

“I can justify every part of that,” Jen said as she pulled out of the driveway and started our journey. “Your car seat is partially a mixture of a compromise and the fact that despite your age still would benefit from sitting in one. Your pull-ups and diaper bag are due to you not being fully potty trained, extra clothes are for emergencies, it’s just smart.”

“But I am po. . .” I started to say before stopping myself in self-embarrassment, per the rules I was not potty trained.

“What was that honey, I did not hear that last part,” Jen said, though I am not sure if she was sincere or just trying to get me to say what she knew I was trying to say.

“Nothing,” I said softly, still internally embarrassed that Jen was right, and I was wrong.

“Baby, I know it’s hard to adjust but you have got to realize that your position comes with a little extra care. That is why I brought Lady Frankie and yes, your binky. Last night scared us both and I just want to make sure you have some comfort items with you, even if you leave them in the car,” Jen said, confirming that she knew what I was going to say. “Baby, you are both my husband, strong, bold, and handsome; and you are my little baby boy who is small, timid, and rather bashful, which I find so adorable. Together you make up my Charlie, and I love every bit of you. But they are just naturally going to blend, the more you grow in your role the more you will find that your little side is just as a part of your big side and vice versa.”

“It’s just not fair, Mommy,” I said starting to pout.

“I know, honey,” Jen soothed, as I watched her reach behind and grab the diaper bag without looking behind her. I watched her confused about what she was doing but soon saw the diaper bag put back and Jen holding the pacifier.

“No, Mommy, I don’t need that, I promise I will be good,” I started to plead, this day was not going the way I thought it was.

“Honey, I have not done anything,” Jen said, placing the pacifier in the cup holder as she started to turn towards her parents’ house. “You got less sleep than I did and had one bad nightmare last night. If you want to try and take a nap you can,” she suggested, which in turn made me more upset. Why was she doing this, I am not some fussy toddler that failed to sleep last night. I decided to hold my whine in while I just sat there with my arms crossed, holding my bunny. “Charlie, sweetie, pouting about it will not make things better,” I heard Jen say.

“I’m NoT wHiNiNnG,” I cried, trying to hold back the emotions that were yet again not playing fair today. I sniffled and wiped my tears, giving me a chance to say, “I am an adult,” with an even voice.

“I never said you were not one,” Jen started to say in more of a motherly tone, “but sweetie you are cranky, and I am suggesting you just close your eyes and rest for a bit.” I watched Jen pick the pacifier up and hand it to me, “take it and put it in your mouth please,” Jen gently instructed.

“No,” I said firmly.

“Charlie Conor,” Jen said boldly, making me flinch at the sound of my middle name being used. I took the pacifier and stuck it in my mouth, though I did not suck on it, only babies need these. “Thank you, now was that so bad,” Jen said more softly.

“Yes,” I said with a lisp. Jen did not reply to me, she just focused on driving. The only thing I had to do was stare at the window, which was getting boring, fast, and monotonous. After a while, my eyes did get droopy and I did not realize I started to suck on my pacifier till about the third head bob. I instantly stopped and was silently cursing at myself. We pulled up to Nichola and Isabella’s house before I fell asleep. I thought we were going to leave right away but Jen just turned the engine off and undid her seat belt. I did not even reach for mine, I was fine where I was, though Jen apparently did not agree with me. Jen opened my door and started to get me out, I tried to take out the pacifier but with one single look from Jen, I instantly refrained from pulling it out.

“Smart move,” Jen said as she took one of my hands and pulled me away to close the door.

“Mommy, Lady Frankie,” I said groggily which made the pacifier lisp even worse. Luckily Jen did not miss a beat and could still understand my childish talk as she gently guided me around the truck.

“Baby just bring her with you, we are not leaving right away,” Jen said, informing me of my current circumstance. Today was not going the way I was hoping for, this is not me being treated as an adult. The front door opened about the same time we got there; this time it was just Isabella at the door wearing a white blouse, black shorts, and matching sandals.

“Good morning you two, glad to see yeah,” Isabella said as I watched her hug, Jen. “Charlie how was your morning,” She asked me in a normal tone. Her comment surprised me with how normal she was acting, which compared to last time was the complete opposite. I was still at a loss for words despite the fact I did not want to talk with the pacifier in my mouth, so I did one better and just moved closer to Jen.

“He is a little tired, he did not sleep well last night. I tried to get him to sleep in the car ride over here, but it was not a long enough drive,” Jen said, talking about me as if I were some kind of child.

“Well come inside, maybe Charlie would like to lay down for a little bit before we start our adventure today. By the way, what did Charlie decide on?” I heard Isabella say as she led us inside the house.

“Charlie,” Jen said getting my attention. “You want to tell her where we are going today,” she said happily, trying to help liven my mood up. I shook my head no, letting her lead me around. Jen eventually stopped and squatted down to get on my level, “Baby, are you still afraid of Mother, or are you just that tired?” To be honest I did not know what I was, I just wanted to go back home. Apparently, with my lack of answer, Jen took it upon herself to just pick me up and carry me to wherever we were going instead of letting me walk.

“For only being ten in the morning, he is awfully tired. You said he did not sleep well, how much sleep did he get?” I heard Isabella ask Jen, as she continued into the living room. Jen went to sit down on the chaise lounge with me, keeping me on her lap as she rocked back and forth rubbing my back. Isabella on the other hand thought that it was too bright in here and closed the blinds.

“Well, I put him down around nine o’clock last night and he did not fall asleep till about nine-thirty,” Jen said softly, as I just rested my head on her shoulder. I grew bored with them talking over me and realized that I started to suck on the pacifier impulsively, causing me to whine and force myself to stop. “Shh, you're fine, just rest honey,” Jen cooed at me before returning to her conversation with her mother, “Charlie started last night in his crib,”

“Oh, really,” I heard Isabella say sounding shocked, “I am so proud of you, how did that go?”

“Well, that’s the issue, he did not take to it,” I heard Jen respond. What were they talking about, the crib is not my new assigned sleeping spot, is it? My anxiety was starting to build again, I don’t think I could do another night in the crib alone. “About midnight I could hear him talking over the baby monitor, about an hour later I heard him start crying and screaming ‘go away.’ The poor baby had a nightmare.” Jen said, revealing to me what happened last night.

“You or Alice took to your crib at first, I had to ease you in it little by little, eventually you two got used to it. I am sure he will too,” I heard Isabella say.

“To be honest I don’t want to have him sleep in there permanently, I just want it to be available for him, give him a safe space to sleep other than our bed,” I heard Jen say, giving me a sigh of relief to hear what she said. Jen must have felt my sigh because she and her mother started to talk more softly. They must be mistaken if I was going to sleep at this time of day.

“If you are going to have him sleep in his crib you are going to eventually get him used to it,” Isabell said softly, making me close my eyes to try and shut her out of my head. Eventually, I heard Jen and Isabella move off the subject of me for a little bit, but I still was ignored. After a while, I felt my pacifier get gently tugged out ever so slightly before getting released causing me to start sucking on it. “The poor baby is so tired he needed a kickstart on the binky, he will not last long if he is not asleep already,” I heard Isabella softly whisper.

Hmph, I did not need my pacifier kickstarted, I did not even need this thing. It is getting tiring to constantly force myself to stop sucking this thing though. I did not realize that I was nearly asleep till I felt Jen move me and reposition me to where I was more curled up and resting my head on her chest. I could still hear Jen whisper, but the rhythmic sound of her heartbeat was hypnotizing and helped me just let things meld away. Eventually, all I heard was muttering, allowing my mind to wander.

I don’t know if I fell asleep or if my mind was playing tricks on me, but one moment I was next to Jen listening to her heartbeat and enjoying her warmth, then a moment later I found myself suddenly back in the darkness. Like I said, the darkness never scared me, especially since I knew Jen was with me, or so I thought. I could smell lavender and jasmine which was Jen’s scent. All I knew was I heard the creepy monster again and when I ran away, I was not met with an invisible barrier, no I was met with a nearly bottomless pit.

Whomp 

            Yup, I was sleeping and now I am lying on the floor. The drop from the chaise lounge to the floor was not that far but man it sure did smart, especially when you land face first. It took me a slow second to adjust from suddenly being jolted awake, but the pain started to come, and I uttered the only thing that my mind could think of, “OWIE-OWIE!” I honestly did not mean to yell it as loud as I did but it hurt, what was I supposed to do? I found myself curling in a ball, holding my forehead.

“Charlie!” I heard Jen say worried, as I heard two sets of footsteps get closer. “Did you fall off the lounge?” I heard her ask, it had to be rhetorical because I was on the floor, next to the lounge. I certainly did not jump purposefully trying to land face first. I rolled myself up to sit on my knees, still holding my head, but I suddenly felt Jen's hands pull them away.

“Who would suspect the floor is so hard,” I said with a smart-ass attitude, watching Jen inspect my head and holding my hands from going back to rub it. “I’m fine, Mommy,”

“You know you’re not supposed to land face first, baby,” Jen said, sounding a lot calmer almost with a hint of humor. Her sarcasm was a hint that she was not worried.

“He does not have a concussion, does he?” I heard Isabella say somewhere behind Jen, sounding more worried. Yup, she has not changed, I do not know how Jen and Alice grew up with such a helicopter parent, though it does explain some of Jen’s isms she has over me.

“No, I don’t have a concussion, I just headbutted your floor,” I said a little sassier than I expected.

“It's just a little red Mom, I am sure he is just more startled than anything,” I watched Jen say, feeling ignored. I rolled my eyes and was about to say another thing, but I saw that Jen picked up my pacifier. I instantly closed my mouth to keep it from being inserted again, which made Jen giggle. “Calm down, sweetie, I will keep a hold of it if you are not fussy. But if I hear you start fussing again it will go back in,” Jen said with a smile, almost as if it was a game.

“I’m not fussy, I promise,” I said keeping my composure. Jen just smiled and helped me up on my feet, and then felt my pull-up.

“Good job, honey, your pull-up feels wet,” Jen praised, “let's go to the potty and see if you still have any juice left in the tank.” I only blushed and looked to see Isabella smiling and walking in the opposite direction as Jen was leading me.

“Jennifer, once you get Charlie all straightened out let’s get on the road,” I heard Isabella say behind me as I saw light enter the room, probably opening the blinds since I was done taking a nap.

“Mommy, how long was I asleep?” I asked as I saw her pick up my diaper bag on the way to the bathroom.

“Oh, I would say at least a solid hour, maybe a little more,” Jen said, ushering me into a giant bathroom. Jen led me to a pristine-looking porcelain thrown, where she started to undo my pants and inspect my pull-up a little further. “Yup, look, baby, your stars are starting to fade,” Jen praised, showing me how well I did. It was still weird to hear so much praise for wetting my pull-up, this time was just because I was sleeping. “Baby, you want to do it on the potty, or you want to do it just standing next to it?” she asked. Did it matter what position I went to potty? My shorts got pulled down the rest of the way to my ankles and I soon found myself much like before, sitting on the potty with Jen holding on to me as if I was scared.

“I don’t need to go,” I told her, not feeling the need to pee.

“Well let's just sit here for a little bit,” Jen instructed softly, as she sat with me. “See, I knew you needed to go potty,” she said as I felt myself suddenly going. How was Jen doing this?

“Mommy, how did you know I had to go?” I asked, wondering if it was wisdom or witchcraft.

“I didn’t, your body is already associated the toilet with going potty. I am just using that suggestion to help transfer it faster to your pull-up,” Jen said proudly, watching her theory work in action. When I was done Jen helped me down and felt my pull-up, “You still got a little ways to go before you need to be changed. Can you try to go potty again while we are driving to the museum?” Jen asked me.

“I can try,” I said shyly. Jen just smiled and pulled up my shorts, I tried to button them myself, but she only showed my hand away.

“There you go, ready to hit the road,” she said

[paddy1965]

Love this story ❤️

[LittleRorie]

Chapter Eighteen

I followed Jen out of the bathroom, very much aware of my pull-up feeling thicker than it did before my nap. I was used to wearing them at night and stuff but during the day it was still something to get used to. The pull-ups were great when they were dry, they almost felt like normal underwear in a way, but when they get wet you can tell they are practically diapers. As we made it to the front door I started to slow down and look behind me, wondering where Isabella went, she was still coming, right? I took too long looking behind me because I soon felt my hand being taken by Jen, tugging me along. I did not resist and just turned to follow, making our way back to her SUV.

I hated my newly assigned seat in her vehicle, it stole my independence and sense of adulthood. “Mommy,” I said meekly, trying to get her attention, there had to be a way around me sitting in the car seat.

“No, Charlie,” Jen said simply, answering my question without me even asking any.

“But I did not even ask you anything,” I retorted, confused about how she had an answer to my unasked questions. She can’t do that, it’s not fair. As we were making our way to the passenger side of the SUV, Jen turned around and picked me up. It’s futile for me to resist, it will only get me in trouble and earn me less adult time than I am already lacking. I tried not to pout but my frown was hard to turn around.

“I know you don’t like your car seat, baby,” Jen said sympathetically while opening the door, and setting me inside. “But you need to get used to it. To be honest, I have been thinking about even getting you at least a booster seat for your car and jeep.” I don’t know if I was mad or sad at that idea, I have been driving without it just fine.

“Please, no. I don’t need it,” I said, pleading for my adulthood not to be stolen away from me.

“Charlie,” Jen said, trying to soothe me and stop my catastrophizing thoughts. “The booster seat is just to help you sit higher; help you see over the hood of your car.” I knew Jen meant well but how was I not supposed to assume she just wanted to take my adulthood away? She promised that I would be treated like an adult today and I have only been treated the opposite. I did not cry, the nap helped me gain control of the emotions that had been running loose as of late, but I still was not a happy camper and I think Jen could still tell. “Baby, safety does not have an age, and if you were just a little bigger, I would not make a fuss about it.”

“Then why do I feel like you are treating me like your toddler?” I asked, trying not to sound any more childish than I already felt. “You said you would treat me like an adult today.”

“I am not sorry that you feel that way because you are my little boy as much as my adult husband.” Jen retorted, “There are going to be some things that will not change, your size, your need to be diapered, and me making sure you are staying healthy. I will treat you like an adult as much as I can, but you need to realize that you agreed to all this.” Her words were sharp but honest. Jen has always been upfront with me, and from the beginning, she told me what she wanted, and I agreed every step of the way. Getting put back in diapers full-time was a bigger step than I realized. I just diverted my eyes, letting Jen finish putting my harness on and buckling me in.

Jen just kissed me on the cheek, and put my diaper bag next to me before shutting my door and walking around to the driver’s side. I looked over to my diaper bag and could not tell if Lady Frankie was in there. I know I took her inside with me, and I had her when Jen picked me up and was rocking me to sleep. Did I leave her in the lounge? “Mommy, I don’t have Lady Frankie,” I said worried as she got in the SUV.

“That’s not an adult worry you have there,” Jen said sarcastically as she put her seatbelt on and turned over the engine. As the engine came to life, I saw Isabella walking around to the passenger side with giant sunglasses on, holding on to my bunny and something else I could not see. I watched Jen’s head follow her mother’s movements, smiling as Isabella got in the car and buckled up herself. “Thank you, Mother, someone thought we were going to forget Lady Frankie,” Jen said, relaying my recent worry. I could not tell if she was mocking me or trying to instill in me that I was very much as little as she said I was.

“Of course,” I heard Isabella say nonchalantly as Jen took my bunny from her and handed it to me with a smile. I took Lady Frankie from Jen, turning my pouty frown into a scowl. Before Jen or I could exchange any words, Isabella said, “Oh, and here is some water for little Charlie.” I started to roll my eyes, what happened to her just calling me Charlie? Could she not resist calling me a little?

“Oh, Mother, I wished you did not put it that,” Jen said, making me wonder what they were talking about.

“You told me to get him a bottle of water, so he had a drink for the trip. I thought he might enjoy a sippy cup versus a bottle,” Isabella said defensively.

“A regular bottle, not a baby bottle. Charlie is already self-conscious about how he is getting treated; this is only going to make him fussier,” Jen said, though I could not tell if she was defending me or just patronizing me.

“I’m sorry, I did grab an extra bottle of water just in case he needed more, just give him that,” I heard Isabella suggest. Jen took the bottle of water from Isabella and handed it to me, but as I took it, I saw Isabella put a brightly colored sippy in a cupholder in the center console. At that moment I softened my scowl trying to portray to Jen that I was sorry for being ‘fussy’, her word, not mine. I did earn a sympathetic smile before she turned forward and shifted into reverse to start our journey.

It was weird sitting in the back seat again, especially in a car seat. I felt like I was not necessarily ignored, but out of the main circle of conversation. Though it only took Jen five minutes to notice I just put my water in my cupholder and did not drink a drop, making me believe she had ulterior motives in having me drink from a normal transparent bottle of water. “Charlie, I would like for you to have that drink before we get to the museum,” I heard her say, making me grab the bottle of water before she glanced back again. I did as instructed and took a noticeable sip of water, hoping Jen would notice.

“Why don’t you try giving him some juice if he does not want to drink water,” I heard Isabella say from the front seat. I watched Jen briefly look over to the passenger seat, giving her mother a look that practically said, ‘Don’t even start.” I had to bite my lip from smiling so much, Jen really did talk to Isabella about treating me better. “Sorry, just saying. . .” I heard Isabella say.

“Between Charlie's sweet tooth and coffee intake, he can drink water,” Jen said, defending her reasoning on my choice of drink. Is that what Jen thinks I eat all the time?

“I don’t just eat sweets and drink coffee,” I said trying to insert myself into the conversation.

“Well, if he is still having a hard time pooping, you might want to try adding some apple juice or something,” I heard Isabella comment. My mouth just dropped when I heard that, what have they been talking about when I fell asleep?

“Don’t worry Mother, when we go grocery shopping later this weekend, I already planned on changing his diet up a little,” I watched Jen respond, both ignoring my comment altogether.

“What’s wrong with my diet?” I tried to ask.

            “Good to hear, the little guy will probably be less embarrassed about going poop if he did not have to push so hard,” I heard Isabella say, going back to my private bathroom habits.

“Can we change topics, please?” I asked, feeling ignored.

“Yeah, this last weekend made me realize that Charlie may need a little more fiber,” Jen said continuing the conversation. “I did feed him some oatmeal with some barriers this morning.” I feel completely ignored, is this how it’s going to be all day?

I rolled my eyes and turn to look out the window, whispering under my breath, “Yeah, treated like an adult my ass.”

“Baby, are you still tired, do you need your binky?” I heard Jen ask, making me turn in her direction, wondering if she heard what I said. My eyebrows raise and eyes widen as I shake my head no, pleading she makes me take it.

“No thank you,” I evenly say, realizing she was waiting for me to verbally tell her. I wait for Jen and Isabella to go back to their conversation before I turn back to look out the window, watching the scenery go by as I try to drink all my water.

It was not a long drive to the airport, but it was long enough for me to get lost in thought, especially with Jen and Isabella busy with their conversation. I started to dwell on what Jen said in the bathroom, about trying to go potty again before we got to the museum. I took another drink thinking that it would help me go potty again, though I was not sure it was going to work as fast as Jen wanted it to. After a while I just closed my eyes and just took a deep breath in and slowly let it out, doing my best to just relax. It took a little bit but eventually, I managed to get my Kegels fully relaxed, but nothing happened. I started to lose track of time and was surprised when I felt Jen slow down and make a sharp turn, making me look outside and realize she was parking. “We’re here?” I asked, probably a little too surprised than I should have been.

“Did you have a good nap?” Jen said in response, turning the engine off.

“I was not sleeping, I was meditating,” I said blushing, due to the fact I felt I needed to defend myself from a childish accusation with another, “I was trying to relax and go potty as you told me to.” My comment earned me a smile from Jen before watching her and Isabella get out of the SUV. As I heard both front doors shut, I hesitated to undo my seat harness, mainly due to the scolding I got last time. Isabella had my door open before I could finish contemplating my thoughts and had me out even faster. “Wait, wait,” I said quickly, trying to stop her from shutting my door, “I want to leave my bunny in the SUV.” How was I getting so complacent about holding my bunny?

“You don’t want to take her in with you,” Isabella asked me with an oddly worried face, “you don’t want her to get lonely, do you?”

“It’s ok Mother, Charlie will be fine,” I heard Jen say as she rounded the back of the SUV with my diaper bag on her back and my half-drunk bottle of water. “Baby, please finish this, it's not that much.”

“Mommy, I never went potty again like you wanted me to,” I confessed as I handed Isabella my bunny to put in my car seat for safekeeping. I took a couple of steps to get beside Jen so I could take my water from her and drink the rest of its contents. Once I was done, I automatically gave her my hand to hold. To be honest I don’t remember the specific date it started but Jen always preferred me holding her hand when walking in parking lots, sidewalks, or super busy areas; anymore it was just habit.

“It’s ok, sweetie, we will still get you a new pull-up once we get in,” Jen said softly as she led me across the parking lot. I started to look around to see if I could notice exactly what part of the airfield this museum was on, however, my short stature made it hard. Normally I would just use my phone and look at the maps, but Jen still had mine confiscated, leaving me partially more dependent on her. It did not take much for me to just focus on being in the moment and notice how huge this Museum was, making me realize how big the airfield was for me not noticed this building before. I was impressed to see this massive hanger-like structure, perfectly sitting in the center was the entrance encased in glass.

As we walked through the front doors, we were greeted by an information counter which had security on either side. The inside of the place was even more impressive, I could already see part of the different aircraft they had, we just needed to get past the front counter so we could explore. “Hello, just three of you in your party today?” I hear the clerk behind the counter ask, pulling my attention back in front of me.

“Yes please,” Jen responded. Since Jen was busy getting us access to the museum, I spotted a trash can where I could toss my empty water bottle. I tried to pull my hand free so I could throw my trash away, but my tugging only made Jen look down on me to see why I was fighting for freedom. I just wordlessly held up my trash, trying to let her know I wanted to dispose of it. Jen just smiled at me before turning back to the sales clerk and letting go of my hand. As I was walking to the trashcan, I could hear Isabella say something, but I did not make out what she said.

“Just to let you know it's fourteen dollars for adults and seven for kids,” I heard the clerk say as I was making my way back to Jen’s side, informing us before making a few clicks on his computer. “All taxes and fees are built into each ticket which will bring the total to thirty-five even.” The price did not bother me at first, but as Isabella and Jen arguing over who was, I did the math in my head as I made my way back to Jen and realized I was getting charged as a child.

“Mommy,” I said trying to get Jen’s attention, only gaining my hand being held once again. When Jen looked down at me, I realized what I called her in public, making my eyes go wide and a smile creep on Jen’s face, calling her Mommy is turning into a habit. I am not sure how I feel about my newly forming habit, but I do know that I practically embarrassed myself, causing me to draw out more of a pause than I intended.

“Yes, sweetie,” Jen responded softening her face to a pleasant smile, playing off the card I put into play. I started to shake my head not ever so slightly to tell Jen ‘Please no,’ luckily, she noticed. “Don’t worry, Charlie, let us pay and then we can go see the airplanes,” she said lightly. I don’t know if she meant to make it sound like I was a child but that is how I took it.

“Ma’am,” the clerk said, Pulling Jen and I’s attention to him. “This is for you and your son,” he said, handing Jen a pair of matching armbands. “They have matching numbers, it's just to make sure that your boy only leaves with you and vice versa. It's just a safety precaution, this place is rather large.” I watched Jen sigh as she took the armbands, I did not understand, why was she doing this. I know I am short but how am I getting a child’s ticket?

“But I . . .” was all I got out before Jen started to talk over me.

“Thank you,” Jen said, turning her attention to me, “Give me your hand, buddy.” I did as I was told as I did not want to get scolded in public, but I did give her a glare that only could be read as ‘I am not your buddy’. Jen just gave me a sweet smile as she put the armband on my wrist before putting hers on. This day was a disaster and the more that Jen points out the more I realize the more it's my own doing, especially this time. Why did I have to call her Mommy?

With my new bracelet on I followed Jen over to the metal detectors. Jen had me go first, which allowed me to see that a security guy was rummaging around my diaper bag, checking for who knows what. When Jen came through, the security guy gave her my bag back and then took my hand again soon after. “Mother, we are going to go find a bathroom quick,” Jen said to Isabella as she was walking through the security herself. I tried not to blush, but it was useless, at least Jen was not specific about why we were going to the bathroom. As we continued into the museum the area started to open, giving us a view of all the different aircraft that were on display. Jen was focused on the bathroom as I was too busy gawking at the different planes.

“This way Charlie,” Jen said as she gave me a gentle tug, trying to get me to follow her. I guess the bathrooms were only around the corner to the entrance. I followed Jen to the bathrooms but soon started to resist as I saw what door she was dragging me into.

“No-no-no, I am a boy,” I said trying to rebuttal softly. Jen quickly turned to me and bent down to me with a gentle look on her face.

“Charlie, if we don’t get you changed you are going to leak,” Jen said in a voice only I could hear. “Do you want to have what happened this last weekend, or would you rather go potty with Mommy, and keep your shorts dry.”

“Go potty with Mommy,” I respond, matching Jen's hushed tone to try and keep myself from being any more embarrassed than I already was. There were a lot of things I did not want to do but I was done with walking around in wet shorts. That would be four times in one week, and I was not about to let that happen.

“You see that door next to the lady’s room,” Jen said pointing to a door I was not paying attention to, “that is a family bathroom, it will be private for just you and me to do our business.” I nodded, giving Jen the signal that I was not going to make any more fuss. Once we were in and the door was locked, I felt I could breathe a little more. Jen however did not let me go, she only pulled me and had me stand next to the toilet, “Sweetie, do you feel the need to go pee-pee?”

I looked at the toilet and then down at myself and then over to Jen and shrugged my shoulders, “Maybe, kind of?” I said more confused than confident. Jen got down to my level again and put her hands on both sides of my hips.

“Can you be a good boy and try and go for Mommy?” Jen asked me in a sweet tone. As if by habit I reached to undo my pants but was quickly stopped by Jen, “No-no, baby, leave your shorts alone. Give yourself a little push and try to go in your pull-up.” I just looked over at the toilet and imagined I was going to use it to try to force myself to pee, but eventually, a small stream came out but not much, causing me to look back at Jen.

“Only a little came out Mommy,” I said, not sure if I was ashamed for what I just did or that I did not feel like I went enough for Jen.

“Good job, Charlie, I am so proud,” Jen said with a big smile as she set my diaper back down on the floor. “Let’s get you cleaned up and in a new pull-up.” Jen undid my shorts and pulled them down, making me step out of them with my shoes on. “Can you hold your shorts for me,” she asked handing my shorts to hold onto. I stood there watching Jen rip the sides of the pull-up off and throw the saturated undergarment away. I was quickly and efficiently cleaned up and presented with a dry pull-up to step into. With Jen’s help, I had my pull-up and shorts back on, ready to go back out into the world. We both washed our hands and made our way out, seeing Isabella standing close by waiting on us.

“Everything comes out, ok?” Isabella asked as we walked up to her.

“Just wet, but we are all clean now,” Jen said in response as if it was a normal thing. I did not understand the use of the word ‘we’ when it was only me in pull-ups wetting myself.

“Jen, please, not so loud,” I said trying to keep my face from turning red once again. When will the embarrassment stop?

            And just like that Jen faked a gasp and put the hand that was not still holding my hand in front of her mouth, “What happened to Mommy?”

“But” I managed to say, trying to rebuttal with the rules that were agreed upon.

“Calm down, Charlie,” Jen said, as she smiled, “I am just trying to get a rise out of you. Though you called me Mommy first, and you are wearing a wristband that kind of suggests that you’re here with your Mommy.”

“Can I at least walk around without holding your hand,” I said with a huff, diverting my eye and accepting my role. I felt Jen’s hand loosen, making me look at her in disbelief, but I slowly pulled my hand away. “So where to first?” I ask, eager to go just run around and look at everything.

“It’s your day, so you lead the way,” Isabella said, stealing my attention momentarily before looking back at Jen for approval. With a nod from Jen, I happily turned around and started our self-guided tour, pointing out all the planes I knew and gawking at the ones I didn’t. Inside housed a lot of smaller planes, a lot of them old prop planes that were used during the pre-World War and plenty that came after. They had a few smaller Jets that were suspended in the air as if they were frozen in mid-flight. I was finally feeling like I was in my element, excited to be around planes again.

I did my best to cover as much ground as I could, we started at one corner of the building and slowly made our way around. There was not much of a crowd of people here, but it was not empty either. Jen let me walk without holding my hand but that did not stop her from keeping me close to her. As much as I wanted to be seen as an adult, my height compared to Jen did make me feel like I was anything but. Even when I would try and talk about an airplane Jen just smiled and listened innocently, it felt as if I was a kid trying to tell Mommy all my cool facts that I knew. Jen loved that one of my passions was aviation, it was never an interest for her, but she always made the attempt to show interest and made sure to listen as I rambled on sometimes.

Eventually, I started to not care how I was perceived, most people who were close to us just saw us as a normal family. The more I relaxed the more time started to be irrelevant as I just kept wandering around and looking at everything the museum had to offer. Jen and Isabell just followed me as I insisted on walking around and seeing every aircraft, though I kept going back to this one P-51D Mustang that they had on display.

“That my boy is a P-51 Mustang,” I heard an old man from behind me say. I don’t know if it was just the constant treatment of being little, or just that I was so engulfed in the moment but his ‘my boy’ comment did not bother me.

“It’s a P-51D, it has the Packard V-1650-7 engine powering it,” I corrected without even looking back at who I was talking to. Jen suddenly made her presence known to me by standing behind me and putting her hands on my shoulders, making me look up at her quickly and then over to the man who commented. I don’t know if it was Jen, but I instantly felt like I did something bad, “I am sorry, I did not mean . . .,” I said before the man stopped me by holding his hand up.

“No need to apologize, My Name is Joe, and I am one of the curators here. “You certainly know your airplanes,” Joe said, holding his hand out for me to shake.

“Nice to meet you, my name is Charlie,” I said, Shaking his hand.

“Have you been outside yet, we have bigger planes out there along with some helicopters even,” Joe asked, pointing to a double door leading out to the airfield. I quickly looked up to Jen for permission and got her loving smile saying go ahead. “Well, if you would allow me, I could give you a tour out there, maybe you can teach me what you know,” Joe said, humoring me with the knowledge I had of aircraft.

“Lead the way, sir,” I said, grabbing Jen’s hand and pulling her along with us. Joe led us to a door that was on the far side of the building, as we went through, we were on the side of the building. There was a path that we followed and with every step, I started to see more and more aircraft. First were the helicopters, both old and new, but as the helicopters seemed to grow in size the aircraft that was sitting next to them still seemed to dwarf them and was even bigger.

Joe went on to show me every aircraft that was outside, telling me some of the stories that he had when he was just a boy or when he was in the military. Most of the airplanes were only there to see and not touch, but there were a few that he let me get in and look around. Joe even let me sit in one of the cockpits of the aircraft, due to my small body I could not see out the aircraft, but it was still fun to see all the old steam gauges that were used back in the day. I thought it was the best thing in the world. I was truly feeling like a kid again, “You know walking around all these old airplanes makes me want to go back and see my airplanes,” I said, not thinking. At about that same time, all the water Jen made me drink was starting to make itself known, especially with all the walking we were doing.

“What kind of airplanes do you have,” Joe asked as he helped me out of the cockpit, so I did not fall.

“I have two Embraer Praetor 600s, one Phenom 300E, and one Phenom 100EX. They are a solid black with bright red tails,” I said being honest. Right before we started to walk back towards the door leading to the inside, Jen reached for my hand.

“That is a pretty neat collection,” I heard Joe say as we made our way back to the inside of the museum. As we walked Jen started to walk slower and let Joe and Isabella take the lead as Jen and I started to walk behind them.

“Do you need to go potty, sweetie,” Jen asked quietly as we walked. I didn’t blush but I did have a hard time looking her in the eyes and telling her ‘No’ which made Jen understand that I did have an urge to potty. “If you do just go, do not try and hold it,” Jen said to where I could only hear.

“Everything ok?” Joe asked as he held the door to the inside open for us. I could not tell if he heard what Jen told me or if he was just making sure that we did not need anything. Between Jen telling me to pee my pull-up and Joe’s question, I was starting to get a little embarrassed and I did not know what to say.

“I think I need to go to the bathroom,” I said, blurting out what came to mind first, trying to respond to Joe. I turned my head to Jen to try and give her an ‘I’m sorry’ look.

"Mother, I am going to take Charlie potty again,” Jen said looking over to Isabella. Why did this whole situation make me feel small, I don’t think I like this being reminded to go potty thing, and I really did not have to go that bad, I was just caught up in the moment.

“When you’re done, come see me in the gift shop Charlie,” Joe said, letting us go do our business as he walked the other way.

“Ok,” I said as I followed Jen. As we wind our way through the large open space filled with multiple aircraft, I spotted Isabella getting our attention.

“I will be upfront when you two are done,” Isabella said before splitting off herself. Now that it was just Jen and me, I noticed that Jen was slowing her pace more than she normally did to compensate for my little legs.

“Mommy why are we walking so slow,” I asked as I looked up at her, intrigued about what was on Jen's mind.

“I thought it would be nice to try and give you a little extra time to try and go in your pull-up before we make it to the bathroom,” Jen said as she smiled down at me. Eventually, we did make it to the bathroom, but as Jen went to turn the handle it was locked, making her and I look at each other. I watched Jen look at the lady's room and I instantly knew what she was going to do. What was more embarrassing, having your Wife drag you into the ladies’ room to potty because she won't let you go by yourself or just going potty in your pull-up that you are going to be made to do anyway?

“I don’t have to go anymore Mommy,” I told her a little louder than I wanted trying to get her attention and keep her from dragging me in there.

“Are you sure, sweetie,” Jen turned to me and asked as she reached down and felt my pull-up. “Did you already go?”

“Aww, did the poor little guy not make it to the bathroom?" I heard a woman say as she came out of the bathroom I was about to be dragged into. Both Jen and I looked to see who was talking and saw another lady, dressed in similar clothes as Joe was, indicating she probably works here. “Don’t sweat it, little guy, you're not the only one to have an accident, this place is kind of huge,” the lady said, trying to make me feel better for something I was about to do.

“Yeah, we are still working on potty training,” Jen said to the lady, continuing the conversation. “We still have day accidents, so we are not quite out of pull-ups yet.”

I could see sympathy from the lady as she turned to me and said, “It’s ok, potty training can be hard work,” before smiling and turning to Jen and saying, “Best of luck to yeah both,” and continuing her way. This whole interaction was super embarrassing but as we stood there, I did need to go potty more than I did a moment ago.

“Go in your pull-up here or in the lady's room,” Jen said softly. I quickly looked around to see if anyone else was walking our way before turning back to Jen with a pleading face, I didn’t want to do either. As Jen turned to go into the lady's room, I instantly tried to force myself to pee. I took a breath in and pushed, trying to force something to happen, and with less effort than I thought it was going to take I started to do what I never thought was possible. “Good job, I am so proud of you,” Jen said, turning back to me and smiling, “You know, you have a cute little potty face.” Getting praised every time I wet myself was an odd feeling, but it did make me feel less bad for doing something so juvenile. I was still mid-stream as I felt Jen start walking again, this time towards the entrance of the building.

“Mommy,” I tried to call out as I was still trying to wet myself with little luck. Jen was only taking small steps, but it still was awkward to try and wet myself and walk at the same time.

“You're ok, honey, just keep going,” Jen said encouragingly. I kept looking down to see if I leaked but could not tell. As we rounded the corner to the front, we did not see Isabella standing anywhere.

“Do I really have a potty face?” I asked, before looking around and not seeing my mother-in-law around “Where’s Isabella?”

“I don’t know, let's see if she is in the gift shop before we call her,” Jen said ignoring my first question. Jen let go of my hand and put her hand on my back, guiding me in the direction she wanted to go. The gift shop was close to the main doors of the museum, which was exactly where we saw Isabella, chatting with Joe. The closer we got the more self-conscious I was about my little accident.

“You know Mother, Charlie was worried you left us, he did not see you when we rounded the corner to the front,” Jen said lightheartedly.

“I was not,” I quickly retorted, only slightly forgetting about my embarrassment.

“Don’t worry Charlie,” Isabella said, smiling. “I was just talking with your new friend Joe, trying to figure out what model airplane to get you to add to your collection.” As soon as Isabella was done talking, I saw Joe's hand pull out a model P-51 that was painted olive green with a star on both sides of the fuselage.

“What do you think of this one, it’s the same one, just different colors as the one that’s on display,” Joe said, handing it to me to look at. “It’s not an Embraer but it's an impressive aircraft. And if you as your Mom I bet she could help you paint it to match your other ones.” At that moment I figured out that he thought that I was a kid, and the airplanes I had were just models. It would be nice to have, though I doubt I would want to paint it, it looks good as it is. I turned me Jen and motioned to her that I wanted to tell her a secret.

“Let me look, baby,” Jen said in response to my secret request. I was happy that she was helping me out, but I wished she would refrain from using ‘baby’ in public. I watched Jen rummage around in my diaper bag, eventually pulling her wallet out and looking through some business cards she had. She first pulled out one but quickly put that one back before pulling out another, “Ah, here it is,” Jen said pulling out a business card that said Red Tail Aviation and handing it to me, making me smile.

“If you come by any time after. . .,” I start to say before I turn to Jen to help.

“After next week,” Jen said simply, helping me out with my sentence.

“. . . after next week, Alice and I will give you a tour of our airplanes,” I said as I handed him the business card with Alice’s name on it, trying to invite him over to my work, to show him that I am not just a kid with models.

“Ok, this is on the other side of the airfield, I could stop by sometime. And you must be Alice then?” Joe started to say before turning to Jen since he never got her name.

“Sorry, Alice is my sister. My name is Jennifer,” Jen said, introducing herself officially.

“Well, it was a pleasure to meet you and your family today, I will definitely come and stop by,” Joe said holding up the business card I gave him. After a quick handshake, we parted ways again, leaving me to turn to Jen to see what we were doing next.

“Well, I already purchased Charlie’s plane, so how about we head out and get some lunch,” I watched Isabella say to Jen. As she heard what her mother said I saw her start to look down at me, instantly aware of what Jen was going to say.

“Thank you, for the plane . . . Grammy,” I said softly. It still felt weird to call Isabella Grammy, I am not sure if I like it or not.

“You are most welcome, Charlie,” Isabella said with a sweet smile. “How about you let me hold onto it while we get to the SUV, I am sure Mommy would want you to hold her hand, so you don't get hurt.” I handed her the plane back and just reached up and held Jen's hand, unsure how to feel. Nothing else was said, Jen just smiled at me and led me over to the exit, where she and I had to show our wristbands before exiting. When we were halfway to the car Isabella broke the silence and asked, “So, did Charlie make it to the potty?”

“Nope, he was a good boy and was able to wet himself before we got in,” Jen said proudly, not telling the full story of what happened. Jen led me around to the back passenger door before unlocking the car and opening my door. Jen looked down at me and slightly hesitated, waiting for me to start my protesting.

As much as I hated the car seat, I knew I had little to no say in what I was about to get put back into. I just looked up at her and simply asked, “Ice cream?” I was done protesting today, I wanted to get treated as an adult but every time I tried to force the issue I was shut down. However, my lack of protest did earn me a smile from Jen.

“Let's get food first, then we can get ice cream,” Jen said as she reached in to grab my bunny out of my car seat and handed her to me. With my bunny in my hands, Jen picked me up, put me in my car seat, and buckled my harness. At the same time, Isabella hopped in the passenger seat reaching back and setting my new model airplane in the back. “You know baby, I am very proud of you. "You were such a big boy in there,” Jen said before kissing me on the forehead.

“I don't feel like a big boy,” I said with a frown. “I could not leave your side because everyone thought I was a kid because of this stupid wristband, and then I wet my pants. . .”

“Feel your pants, baby, do they feel wet?” Jen instructed.

“No,” I said.

“You did not wet your pants, you wet your pull-up,” Jen said positively. “I want you to have faith in your pull-ups and your diapers. If you feel the need to potty, then I want you to go, no more holding it. I promise to make sure to change you before you start to leak,” Jen said lovingly, trying to help encourage a smile. “You're going to have to get used to this, you are going to be in diapers for the foreseeable future Charlie.” With that said Jen just caressed my cheek with her hand, smiling at me like I really was her good little boy. Once I smiled at her, she finally let me be and closed my door, making her way around to the driver's seat.

“Mommy,” I said getting Jen's attention as she backed out of the parking spot. “Where are we going for lunch?” When I said it, I was starting to question myself, is it lunch? What time was it? Today has been so weird that I felt I could not even tell what time it was. I mean it had to be past lunchtime, I had already been forced to take a nap and we were walking around for like ever looking at airplanes. I looked out the window to try and see where the sun was, that would tell me how late in the day it was.

“Not real sure yet, we are near your work, do you have any favorite spots you like to go to?” Jen asked pulling out onto the road, “Preferably a place that has food you will want to eat.”

Even though I did not feel hungry, I knew that I was going to need to eat if I was going to get my ice cream I was promised. “What time is it?” I asked, still confused about how long we had been in the museum.

“It's just a little past two, baby,” Jen informed me, making me realize that we were having a late lunch once again.

“If I eat good, can I skip dinner?” I asked, trying to cut a deal. I know Jen wanted to make sure I ate good but eating this late and then eating dinner on top was not going to make my tummy feel good at all.

“Absolutely not,” I heard Isabella say in front of me, instantly making me furrow my brows at her comment. Jen did not say anything, but I did feel the heat from her glare that she gave Isabella. “Sorry, I did not mean to overstep my bounds,” I heard Isabella say, I could also imagine her throwing her hands up as if to surrender a fight she knew she was not going to win.

“Baby, I will make you a deal,” Jen said as I watched her turn back to driving. “Eat something small for me and then we will get your ice cream. But I have some shrimp I want to cook later for dinner.”

            “I got just the place,” I responded excitedly. “Tony’s Tavern has this super amazing dessert that is amazing, they also have good food too.”

“A tavern?” I heard Jen repeat, questioning my choice.

“It’s still daylight, and yeah, a tavern. It's the favorite spot the pilots like to go to when they are in between flights,” I said defending my request. “Alice even likes this place.”

“Tony’s it is, but no alcohol,” Jen said, making me smile.

[CCApril]

Boy is Joe in for a surprise!

Grammy was better but I'm still leery of her.  She seems like the type that wants Charlie in his crib and Jen looking for a real husband. Not that I believe Jen would do that. She obviously likes both halves of Charlie. 

 

 

[BabySofia]

Now that you’re in the same place as the other site, I hope we have a new chapter to look forward to soon? 🙂

[LittleRorie]

8 hours ago, CCApril said:

Boy is Joe in for a surprise!

Grammy was better but I'm still leery of her.  She seems like the type that wants Charlie in his crib and Jen looking for a real husband. Not that I believe Jen would do that. She obviously likes both halves of Charlie. 

 

 

Thanks for the comment. 

 

8 hours ago, BabySofia said:

Now that you’re in the same place as the other site, I hope we have a new chapter to look forward to soon? 🙂

Yes, I have chapter 19 ready to post, and will be posted by the end of the day. The short break I took in writing turned out a little bit longer than I expected. It almost felt as if my vision for the story was cut and it has been hard for me to get back down into the groove. To be honest I did not originally have a full plot for the story lined out before I started to write this, which makes me feel like it is making it harder. In the next story I want to write I plan on doing everything a bit differently.

[BabySofia]

2 hours ago, LittleRorie said:

To be honest I did not originally have a full plot for the story lined out before I started to write this, which makes me feel like it is making it harder. In the next story I want to write I plan on doing everything a bit differently.

Been there, done that, got the t-shirt! Understanding completely! Looking forward to the next one! 🙂

[LittleRorie]

Chapter Nineteen

 

After a bit of backseat driving Jen managed to find Tony’s Tavern and I was excited. Not because I was going to get ice cream, but because I could finally be me at Tony’s and get treated like my age, also most of everyone knows me here. The only thing was that I needed to go pee again and we were just pulling into the parking lot. Jen pulling me along while I tried to do my business back at the museum kind of made me not able to finish. I did not want to have what happened at the museum happen here, so maybe if I can get myself to just finish going while I am in the privacy of the SUV, I will be ok. Jen and Isabella were still arguing over my choice of restaurant but that left me in relatively chaotic peace. As Jen turned into the parking lot, I mustered up the courage, closed my eyes, and did my best to go potty once more.

I knew Jen parked and even shut the engine off, but I was still trying to concentrate on forcing myself to pee, so I did not have to do it later. I turned my face to see Jen opening my door, “Look at my baby, you’re such a good little boy,” Jen said happily.

“Do I really have a potty face?” I asked, slightly embarrassed that she knew what I was doing.

“Yes, you do,” Jen said still smiling at me, “but it’s only because you are trying too hard, I am sure it will fade as you get used to peeing your pull-ups.” Jen did not move to unbuckle me; she only reached in and grabbed the diaper bag that was sitting next to my car seat. “You done, baby?” Jen asked, patiently waiting for me to finish. I just sighed and shook my head, yes, giving her the cue to finally get me unbuckled and out of the car seat. Before Jen shut the door, I handed her my bunny so she could put her in the SUV. Unlike Isabella Jen did not make a fuss, she just took Lady Frankie from me.

“Jennifer, I still do not like this place, the atmosphere is not good for Charlie,” I heard Isabella say as Jen closed my door and took my hand before walking to the door of the restaurant.

“If you don’t like it you can stay in the vehicle, Charlie is an adult and this place is just fine,” Jen said with a harsh voice. I was a bit worried now they were still arguing outside of the SUV.

“You did not say anything when I said he was a child and paid for the tickets at the museum,” Isabella quipped.

“I was about to before Charlie blatantly called me Mommy in front of the ticket counter and distracted me,” Jen said, arguing back at her mother. Wait, how is this my fault? I stopped where I was, which was in the middle of the parking lot, and put a scowl on my face. I know I told myself I was done protesting the behavior I was getting today but was not going to accept I was to blame. I will not take this anymore, this had to stop here and now. Jen instantly felt my arm tug on hers when I was not walking, causing her to look back at me and see the anger painted on my face. “Oh honey, I did not mean to. . .” Jen said, realizing what she said only a moment ago. I wanted to rip my hand from hers but that would not be wise.

“You two need to quit arguing over me, it is ridiculous. First, it was an accident calling you Mommy in the museum, our new rules are causing some odd habits to form,” I said to Jen before trying to split my focus to both titans that stood in front of me. “Second, I am an adult, that is it, there is nothing to argue about. Jen, you promised me a day that I could be treated as an adult, and outside of my pull-ups and stupid car seat I do not see a reason to not allow that.” I said a little heated. I did not mean to get mad but when I was getting blamed for this mess, I was not going to take it, not here, this place knew me all too well. “As far as you Isabella, you scare me, from what Jen has said you have threatened my career, and I don’t appreciate it. It is Jen and I’s signature on our contract, not yours. I am her little, I listen to her, not you. Jen also promised me that this would not come between me and my career,” I said firmly as the emotions from last week started to come back to me.

When I get mad, I generally can keep a level head and use my words to my benefit. Jen took after her mother Isabella, and when they got mad, all they saw was red. When I stood there and held my ground, Isabella just dropped her jaw and stared at me, dumbfounded. Unfortunately, that did not last, and I could see the anger oozing out of her ears. At this moment I was starting to regret my small little outburst, hopefully, Jen was not mad at what I said and would take my side. As soon as I saw Isabella's finger point at me, I felt Jen pull me behind her.

“Do not get mad at Charlie,” I heard Jen say, as I tried to peek around her, “He is not wrong.”

I watched as Isabella’s finger moved from me to Jen and then firmly said, “Fine, but you and I are going to have words later.” I watched Isabella turn around and continue to the restaurant. Jen turned around and squatted down to look at me in the eyes.

“I am proud of you for standing up for yourself,” Jen told me as she straightened the wrinkles out of my shirt, “But you need to let me deal with my mother.”

“Thanks, but why did you say it was my fault?” I said in response, still slightly irritated from the argument.

“I did not mean for it to come out that way, I was trying to make a point and it just came out wrong,” Jen said, “I am sorry. I did want you to have fun today.”

“I am having fun, I just hate you fighting over me, it’s not fun,” I said as I watched Jen put her hand on my pull-up.

“You did need to go didn’t you,” Jen said looking back at me, “You’re going to need a new pull-up when we get inside.” And just like that, I went from irritated to worried.

“But I was trying to prevent from being dragged into the bathroom,” I said with a slight whine in my voice. “And is Isabella going to yell at me?”

“I am sorry, baby, but your pull-up is saturated. They are not like your diapers; they cannot hold that much.” Jen said as she stood back up and led us to the front door of the restaurant. “And Mother will not yell at you, at least not in public, but I am sure you got her mad. She will cool off though, she has her reputation to worry about.”

As Jen and I walked through the door to Tony’s Tavern the hostess just smiled at us and asked, “You are with the lady that just walked in before you correct,” as she pointed to Isabella sitting in a booth across the room.

“You would be correct,” Jen said before asking her own question. “Do you mind if we use the bathroom really quick before we sit down?”

“Oh, of course, it’s just over there ma’am,” the hostess said, pointing towards the bathroom doors.

“Thanks,” Jen said as she pulled me along towards the bathroom. Jen kept a firm grasp on my hand as she tugged me to walk in front of her. I wanted to resist but I also did not want to make a scene.

“Jen please,” I said quietly. My plead was only met with Jen moving her hands to my shoulders so she could make sure I did not escape.

“Charlie, quit fighting, you are only drawing attention to yourself,” Jen responded in a matched quiet tone. I quickly looked around to see that luckily no one was looking in our direction. I did my best not to fight Jen, but I still did not feel comfortable. I watched Jen reach over me,  open the door to the ladies’ room, and push me inside, luckily, I heard Jen lock the door behind us.

I took a quick look around before I turned to look at Jen and whispered “I am a boy, I am not supposed to be in here.” Jen just smiled at me before she set my diaper bag on the changing station in the room and then turned her attention to me and pulled my pants down, revealing my soaked pull-up. “What if someone says something,” I asked.

            “Then I will tell them I was helping you change your diaper,” Jen said as she motioned for me to step out of my shorts.

“But I am not wearing a diaper, I am only wearing a pull-up,” I said as I stood there letting Jen rip my used pull-up off and start cleaning me.

“Yes honey, you are in pull-ups, but to others, they are just pull-on diapers,” Jen said nonviolently as she balled up the wipes in the pull-up and tossed them in the trash. I try and cover myself with my hand but quickly get my hands lightly smacked. “Charlie, please, quit playing with yourself.”

“Pull-ups suck,” I started to say before reaching over to use Jen to help me keep my balance and step into my new pull-up. “I thought they would be better than diapers, but they are worse. You have not stopped fussing over my pull-ups all day, nothing but ‘Charlie let potty, Charlie you need a new pull-up, Charlie lets potty again, oh new pull-up,” I wined.

“Charlie,” Jen started to say as she held onto my shorts, making me stand there in just my polo shirt and pull-up. “You are the one who suggested wearing them and I was trying to listen. I found a way to listen and help you out, but if you are insisting you just skip to diapers, I am ok with that too,” Jen said with an oddly serious face, looking me in the eyes. It did not take long before I diverted my eyes giving her the win to the staring contest.

“Shorts please,” I whine, only making me feel smaller than I wanted to. Jen only smiled and held them open for me to step into allowing her to pull them up and button them for me. Jen guided me to the sink so we both could wash our hands and then she grabbed my diaper bag and ushered me out. With a glance I spotted no one standing in line to use the bathroom, giving me a sigh of relief, allowing us to go to our table with no issues.

When we got to the table, I got put on the inside of the booth with Jen next to me as we both sat across from a highly agitated Isabella. “What took so long,” Isabella said in a suspiciously light tone. I hated this animosity in the air between us, it made me feel uncomfortable. As I scooted in the booth I remembered why Alice and I always sat at a normal chair and table, the booth was a little too tall for me and made me want to sit on my knees to help me reach the table more comfortably.

“Charlie needed to go to the bathroom,” Jen said in defense as she set my diaper bag between me and the wall. Having Isabella and Jen to be spatting back and forth so soon only made me roll my eyes and slouch in the booth.

“Oh, and you needed to go in there with him?” I watched Isabella say pretending to be shocked. I thought Jen said she was not going to do this in public.

“Mother please,” Jen said in a serious tone. “Do not do this, not here. I thought you wanted Charlie to have a good time and trust you more.”

“Hello, my name is Mike, I will be your server today,” I heard Mike say with a positive attitude before I sat up to look at him as he handed us the menus, “Oh, Charlie, nice to see yeah again. No Alice this time?”

I was so pleased that it was Mike as our server, he was a cool person to hang around with. “Not today, Alice kicked me out of the office and told me to take a vacation, this is my wife Jennifer and my Mother-in-law Isabella,” I said, trying to be polite and introduce my company. Mike's eye lit up as soon as I said ‘Jennifer’, making me just smile and shake my head.

“About darn time you bring her in,” Mike said to me before turning to Jen. “Your pictures do not do you justice; you are simply gorgeous.”

“Excuse me, sir, she is married,” Isabella said, making a snarky comment. As soon as I heard that I saw Mike turn to Isabella in a surprised manner.

“Oh sweetie, I am too, his name is Jake. I was just trying to give Mrs. Jennifer here a compliment,” Mike said in a matter-of-fact tone before putting his hands on his hips and turning to me, “What yeah having to drink today, Charlie, sounds like you could use a beer.”

“I would love one but Jen asked me to not drink, so how about an iced tea,” I said with a smile, admiring the no ‘F’s’ given attitude Mike had. Mike was one of the first servers that I made friends with when I first started to go here, there was nothing he could do or say that would offend me, and he also often used the same terms of endearment with me as Jen does. It never bothered me. I just knew he cared for me and was my friend, and so was his husband.

“Honey, tea has caffeine in it, and it is passed lunch,” Mike said sarcastically. I honestly did not know if I wanted to laugh or blush, Jen was nearly about to say the same thing before Mike spoke before her. I watched Jen look surprised and turn to Mike as he looked at her and explained, “Don’t worry, Alice has yelled at Charlie numerous times about that and about getting food.”

“Thanks, Mike,” I said, pretending to be offended.

“You're most welcome, honey, how about I get you a Sprite instead?” Mike said with a smile.

“Well, I am glad Charlie is in good hands when I am not with him,” Jen said happily, “I will take a water please.”

“Sure thing,” Mike said before turning to Isabella, “What about you sweetie,”

“I will take a martini,” Isabella said sharply.

“Well let me get these for you as you two look at the menu,” Mike said before turning to me, “Charlie, you want the usual?”

“Please,” I said. Jen did a glance at me before turning to Mike in confusion.

“Catfish nuggets and hushpuppies,” Mike said quickly to Jen, reading the question she had on her face, “The little guy only ordered one other thing before going back to the same old thing.”

“You know what that sounds good, just make it two please,” Jen said with a smile.

“Ok then,” Mike said before turning to Isabella, “would you like to order food now too or do you want a minute?”

“Just a martini for now,” Isabella said holding up her menu. It only took Mike a few steps to leave us and Isabella turned to us both with an agitated face and commented, “Like I said, the atmosphere is not good here,” and then went back to her menu.

“Well, I like the guy,” Jen said trying to not laugh at her mother, before turning to look at me. “At least I don’t have to worry about Charlie breaking rules here.” I could only roll my eyes when Jen said that last part. “By the way, what desert were you wanting? The way you said it back in the SUV made it sound amazing?”

I eagerly picked up the menu and flipped it open and pointed to a photo. “It’s a small scoop of vanilla ice cream with half of an apple seasoned and wrapped in a pie crust that is baked to perfection with caramel drizzled over it all,” I said looking up at Jen, trying to describe how tasty this dessert was, “I can still get it right?” As soon as I said that I glanced at Isabella, only to have her comment before I could turn back to Jen.

“Don’t look at me, look at your Mommy,” Isabella said sharply, making sure I knew she was still upset at my spat in the parking lot. Her comment made me look back at Jen quickly. I felt confident when I said all that but now that I had to sit and deal with what I said I started to feel bad about even bringing it all up.

“I promised you ice cream, so yes. But would you mind sharing a bit of the apple pie, it sounds delicious.” Jen said with a smile, as she scooted me closer to her so she could wrap her arm around me.

“I would love to share it,” I said as I leaned into Jen to soak up her warmth. It did not take long before Mike came back with all our drinks, bringing his energy along with him.

“Water, Sprite, and one martini,” Mike said as he set our drinks down before turning to Isabella, “Sweetie, did you find anything you wanted to eat?”

“Just a house salad,” Isabella said sharply.

“And what kind of dressing would. . .” Mike started to say before getting cut off.

“Ranch will be fine,” Isabella said quickly, handing Mike her menu.

“Oh, and Mike can you put an order in for one of your apple pie deserts,” Jen said sweetly as she pointed to the dessert, I showed her.

“Sure thing, honey,” Mike said with a smile, taking Jen and I’s menu. “Your food should not take long, and I will put your dessert after you get your food, so you have time to eat before it comes out.”

When Mike left the table there was an awkward silence between the three of us. Jen kept her arm around me, which made me feel safe but at the same time small. The confidence level I had outside was quickly draining and I could not describe the feeling I had. I looked over to Isabella, but she was just looking around sipping her drink. When I looked up to Jen she just smiled before she noticed something I couldn’t. “What’s wrong, honey,” she said as I watched her smile fade. I just shook my head and away, not wanting to talk about the feeling I had. “Here, take a drink,” she said handing me my drink. I only took a sip before putting it back on the table.

“So, Charlie, did you have fun at the museum,” Isabella said flatly, making me look back over to her. I didn’t know why she was trying to have small talk with me, but her delivery was very awkward.

“I did, thank you,” I told her, trying to just be polite.

“Just so you are aware, the conversation Jennifer and I had last weekend was not meant for your little ears to hear,” Isabella said in her flat tone. I nodded in response, not sure how to take it.

“Mother please,” Jen said quietly, causing Isabella to look at her and hold her hand up.

“No, I just want to make sure Charlie understood,” Isabella said before turning back to me. “I know you are an adult, but it’s hard for me to see it. To me, you’re my daughter’s little boy, and that makes me see you as my grandbaby. I am a little overprotective, I was the same way when Jennifer was little, but I expect you to behave like a good little boy,” she said to me, softening her tone a little bit. Her little speech did not help me at all, if it was not for Jen’s arm around me, I would just curl up and hide. I did not lie before; she did scare me. I did, however, reach for my drink and took a long sip to give me an excuse to not talk.

“Can we please change subjects,” Jen said, noticing my lack of voice. Luckily Isabella did just that and started to talk about her and Nichola’s work, which I did not want any part of. I liked talking business but just not with Isabella, leaving it a two-way conversation. With both distracted I started to look around for Jen’s phone, hoping I could use that to entertain myself. I could tell it was not in Jen’s pockets and it was not on the table, maybe she had it in the diaper bag. I slowly pulled my diaper bag close to me, glancing at Jen to make sure she stayed engaged in Isabella’s conversation so I could rummage through it unnoticed.

I was fully engrossed in looking in my diaper bag, trying to find Jen’s phone. The only thing I could see though was only one pull-up left with two spare diapers, baby wipes, rash cream, my pacifier, a set of clean clothes, and Jen’s wallet. Out of no wear, I heard Mike's voice, making me jump and zip the bag up as quickly as I could. I could tell Jen noticed my jump because she giggled at me, Mike however, I was hoping to be busy putting our food down to notice anything. “What yeah digging for, babe,” Jen said as I turned to the table and looked at her and Mike.

“Probably something he shouldn’t be having according to his red face,” Mike said with a smile. “Jennifer, if you need anything let me know. Charlie normally needs two things of tartar sauce with his fish, but I can get you catchup, hot sauce, or anything else if you need.”

Jen Just turned and looked at Mike, “I should be good, thanks,”

“Well, I hope you enjoy your food, I have already put your dessert order in so it will be out shortly,” Mike said as he left us to our food. I grabbed a catfish nugget, dipped it in the tartar sauce, and shoved it in my mouth as I watched Isabella drown her salad in her ranch dressing.

“Mmm, this is really good,” I heard Jen say, causing me to look up at her, watching her cover her mouth between bites of her catfish.

“Know you know why I order it all the time,” I said with food in my mouth, causing me to get a stern look from Jen. I swallowed my food quickly, causing me to reach for my drink to help it go down.

“I did not think I would have to tell you but please slow down, you are going to choke,” Jen said in a motherly tone looking down at me. Jen must have noticed how close my food and drink were to the edge of the table and scooted it back a little. Her comment only made me feel sheepish, but her pushing my plate and drink only made me whine slightly. As I started to pull my feet in to sit on Jen noticed and said, “Charlie, are you ok?”

“These booths are just at an awkward height,” I admitted as I got myself adjusted. I looked over to Jen and I could tell she wanted to put me on her lap, but I was grateful she didn’t. I glanced over at Isabella, but she was just silently judging, which was fine if she kept it to herself. I went back to eating my food but saw Mike wander back over to the table.

“How is the food?” Mike said looking at Jennifer and Isabella.

            “Good thanks, the catfish is amazing,” Jen said smiling back at Mike. Isabella just ignored Mike altogether and took another sip of her martini. I was going to say soothing and even held my finger up but Mike spoke before I could swallow my food.

“Don’t worry, I know you like it. Would you like a booster seat shorty?” Mike said smiling at me, causing me to scowl at him and switch from holding up the index finger to the middle finger at him.

“Charlie,” Jen said noting my rude gesture, causing me to instantly regret my act and retract my arm.

“Don’t worry, Honey, he knows I am giving him a hard time.” Mike started to say with a smile. “But the last time Alice and him sat in a booth she made him take it and he was unhappy the whole time,” Mike said with a giggle.

“I may be short, but I am not a child,” I quickly say with an empty mouth, trying to defend myself.

“Charlie, there is nothing wrong with a booster seat,” Jen said holding back her laugh.

“Alice said nearly the same thing,” Mike said, “Your desert is almost done, let me go get it for you. It did not take long to finish my food, there was only a handful of nuggets and two hushpuppies, but Jen kept her eye on me the whole time, just smiling at my frustration. I watched Mike slowly walk back with another plate in his hand. “Here yeah go,” Mike said with a smile, “You want me to take your two’s plate?”

“Shure,” Jen said as she stacked my plate on hers moving them out of the way as Mike sat the desert down. Isabella handed Mike her plate as well, though a bit more rudely.

“Thanks, Mike,” I said as I started to reach for the spoon sitting on the plate. Right before I reached it, I felt Jen pick me up and scoot me onto her lap. “Hey,” I said a little more loudly than I wanted to, causing Mike to giggle at me.

“You said you didn’t want a booster seat,” Mike said with a smile. “And here is the check, please take your time, and thank you for coming in,”

I watched Jen’s arm reach around me, pick the spoon up, and present it to me. I could not see Jen’s face, but I knew she was smiling and eating this up, I knew she could not resist putting me on her lap as soon as she saw me struggle.

“Mommy, please,” I whined quietly to where only Jen could hear me. Isabella may not have heard what I said but she looked in my direction with a curious look on her face.

“Baby are you getting fussy,” Jen whispered in my ear from behind me, making me realize what she was asking. I just very gently took the spoon from her and proceeded to get a fill it up with Ice cream. Jen and I took turns eating the dessert, but halfway she hogged control of the spoon and insisted she be the one to give me bites. Every time I resisted or whined, she would only shush me and encourage me by saying ‘bite’ like I needed encouragement to eat. We were down to the last bite before I heard a click which made me turn and see Mike there snapping a picture of me sitting on Jen’s lap being fed ice cream.

“You two are too cute,” Mike said happily. I tried to say something, but Jen just piled the last bit of apple pie in my mouth.

“Shh, eat your food,” I heard Jen say above me in a playful tone. “You know Mike, if I knew you and Charlie were friends, I would have invited you over for dinner or drinks a long time ago,” Jen said to Mike, leaving me to eat my dessert. As soon as I was done and about to say something Jen put the last bit of ice cream in my mouth, only to slightly miss and have some of it on my face. I sat there getting mad, letting my hands drop to my side, making me notice that Jen was hiding her phone under her thy on the opposite side I was sitting on.

“Well Charlie has my number,” Mike said in response to Jennifer as she just smiled and wiped my face with a napkin. Jen and Mike made pleasantries, I slowly reached to grab Jen’s phone. As soon as I had it pulled out Jen just took it from me.

“No-no, Charlie,” Jen said to me as she put it in the diaper bag that was out of my reach. She also took that moment to pull her wallet out and give it to Mike, “Here, yeah go. And I will be giving you and your husband a buzz.” Jen said.

“Any time,” Mike said with a smile, “Let me take care of the bill for you real quick, I will be right back.” As Mike walked off, I just folded my arms and found, causing Isabella to smile and giggle at me.

“You better turn the frown upside down,” Jen said poking me in the rib, making me jerk and squeal.

“Ok, please just stop,” I said grabbing Jen’s hand in defense. Mike was back soon after and Jen took her card back and put it back in her wallet. I also took that time to shimmy my way off Jen’s lap. “Thanks, Mike, the food was good.”

“You’re welcome, I will see you next time buddy,” Mike said with a smile and a pat on the head. “You make sure to keep him in line,” Mike said to Jen as she got out of the booth herself with the diaper bag in her hands. “Isabella, it was a pleasure,” Mike said lastly before walking back to check on another table.

Jen followed me out of the restaurant, letting me walk without any hand-holding or guiding hand. It was a kind gesture but halfway to the SUV I started to look around to make sure she was still there. I saw her walking beside me only one step behind and as soon as I made eye contact with her, she just smiled and gently put her hand on my back to let me know she was there.

I walked over to the door to the back seat and reached to open it as soon as I heard the door unlocked from Jen pressing the button on the key fob. I was going to get in my car seat myself but as soon as I grabbed my bunny, I felt Jen lift me and put me in my seat herself. “Mommy,” I whined, wanting to do it myself.

“You’re getting awfully fussy,” Jen said as she started to buckle me in, noticing Isabella getting in herself. I watched her move my arms under the harness, trying to keep my face neutral. “You want your binky for the drive home?” Jen asked me, as she put the diaper bag beside me.

“No thank you,” I said, trying to convince her I did not need it, holding Lady Frankie close. Jen just smiled at me and shut my door once I was all buckled in. Jen made her way to the driver’s seat and quickly buckled in herself. Jen opted to listen to the radio instead of talking on the drive home, which was ok for me, I was not in the mood to listen to them argue anymore. After a few miles the warmth of the sun, a full belly, and the soft rhythmic motions of the road made my eyes start to get heavy. I was not wanting to fall asleep, but I was having a hard time trying to fight it.

Eventually, I just gave in and thought to myself, I will just close my eyes and not sleep. Was listening to the radio and paying attention to the sounds of the road so I figured that I was still awake but before I knew it, I jolted my eyes open and jumped as I heard my door open. I was confused, why was Jen standing there reaching to undo my harness? With a quick look out the other windows, I noticed that we were home, and Isabell was not with us, or so it seemed. “You have a good nap?” Jen asked, drawing my attention back to her.

“I was not sleeping,” I said with a lisp, realizing I had my pacifier in my mouth. I went to reach for it, but Jen pulled me out of the car seat and caused my arm to slip through the harness before I could pull it out.

“Baby, you were out like a light,” Jen said setting me on my two feet. I just handed my pacifier to her, not wanting anything to do with it. “You hold on to it baby, you look like you may need it still,” Jen told me, not taking my pacifier from me.

“But I don’t want it,” I whined, making me realize I was only fueling her cause. I closed my hand, keeping my pacifier in one hand and my bunny held by my other arm. I took a step back as Jen reached in, grabbed my diaper bag and my model airplane, and then led me to the front door.

“Baby, I know you say you’re not tired, but you hardly slept last night and only took one small nap that ended in you falling on the floor, and another small nap in the car,” Jen said, holding the front door open for me. “Think whatever you want but I do not want you falling asleep before bedtime.”

“I’m not tired, Mommy, I promise,” I said slipping my shoes off lazily and walking to the couch to sit down. Jen was not far behind me, but she did not sit on the couch next to me, she just gave me a small kiss on the four head and felt the front of my pull-up before moving to the stairs and going up. Once Jen was up the stairs, I tossed my pacifier onto the coffee table and then looked down at myself, feeling my dry pull-up.

As I sat there on the couch, holding my bunny, I was not tired, but I was frustrated. I was supposed to be treated as an adult today, not like some reverse potty-training toddler. With that thought, I got up and started to make my way to the home office, Jen may have taken my computer away, but I still have hers to use. About halfway to the office, I spotted my potty chart that is on the fridge, realizing that I get to put stickers on my chart today, I went potty in public today. I quickly shook my head, trying to get the little thoughts out of my head, I wanted to be an adult. I walked into the office and made my way to the desk, looking back at the door with a small feeling of butterflies in my stomach. Why was I getting this feeling, I was not doing anything wrong, I just wanted to check my email and stuff. I crawled into the desk chair, put my bunny on my lap, and moved the mouse around to wake up the computer.

It did not take long for me to log on and open my email. Alice must have been doing just fine without me, there were just a few emails in my inbox, just the normal stuff: flight reports, expenses, and a few emails from a couple of pilots. As I was reading one of my emails, I noticed Jen walk into the office, I instantly started closing my browser, so she did not know I was going through my email. Just as Jen rounded the desk, I had the computer showing only the desktop and I quickly put my hands in my lap. I know it was not very smooth and I look as suspicious as I feel. Why did I feel this way, I should not be feeling like a naughty little boy doing things behind Mommy’s back, I was just checking my email like a normal adult. I looked at Jen and saw a smile on her face as she clipped something to my shirt.

“There, now you won’t lose it,” Jen said as I looked down to see my pacifier dangling from its leash that was now secured onto my shirt. I looked up to protest but when I did Jen was staring down into my eyes, making me more nervous. “Are you done with the computer, sweetie?” Jen asked softly, making me nod my head yes as I diverted my eyes.

“I am sorry Mommy,” I told her trying to get rid of the guilt I was feeling. Jen did not answer me right away, she just picked me up and sat down on the computer chair I was just sitting on, placing me on her lap so I was facing her. Jen looked at me and kissed me on the forehead.

“Why are you saying sorry,” Jen asked as she straightened the ears of my bunny.

“I was on the computer,” I started to say, admitting to what I thought was wrong, “I was checking my email.” I don’t know why I felt like I did wrong, but I did. I just hugged my bunny and leaned into Jen, trying to comfort myself.

“Baby, you didn’t do anything wrong,” Jen said as she wrapped one of her arms around me. “Why would I be mad at you for checking your email?”

“You took my phone and computer away so I would focus on my vacation,” I told her, trying to convince her that I was right about being bad.

“I did take those things away and it did help you focus on your vacation,” Jen said as I heard her starting to mess with the computer. “But at no time I did not say you could not check your email, I just wanted to make you work for it. Make you slow down and think,” I heard her explain.

“But, I thought,” I started to say, trying to recall last Friday. The more I thought about it I realized she was right. “Mommy, I just wanted to be an adult,” I started to tell her, “I want to do adult things.” At that moment I felt the need to potty again, all the soda at the restaurant was catching up to me. “I am an adult,” I said, letting my emotions get the better of me again. Just then I heard soft music playing from the computer’s speakers.

“Oh, honey, you are an adult,” Jen said wrapping her other arm around me, “But you are also little.” Yeah, little, I am sitting on my wife’s lap with a stuffed bunny wrapped in my arms being soothed by her, feeling guilty for doing an adult thing without permission. And on top of it all I needed to potty, and I was expected to just use my pull-up like a baby.

“I don’t want to be little,” I said softly.

“Why are you so resistant to being little,” Jen asked as she caressed my cheek. “You fight being little so much. Today I saw you just be yourself and you looked so happy, both at the museum and the restaurant.” Jen just held me for a little bit, rocking my back and forth in the chair, letting the words just sink in. “Sweetie, you are just tired.”

“I am not,” I told her, enjoying her arms around me. I always loved cuddles from Jen, they always made me feel better. As I sat there comfortably, I just went ahead and just wet my pull-up. There was no reason to hold it, I was not going to be using a potty, and I did not want to get up. I know Jen had to feel my pull-up get warm, but she did not say a word, she just held me.

“What if you made another little friend, someone to play with,” Jen said making me lean back and look at her.

“Please, no,” I started to say, trying to imagine what Jen had up her sleeve, “I don’t need to have a playdate with another little.”

“Just think about it,” Jen said as she leaned forward and turned off the music that was playing. “But how about we go put some stickers on your potty chart,” Jen said happily, doing her best to divert the conversation and not saying yes or no to the playdate I did not want. Jen just patted my butt, giving me the signal to get down.

[BabySofia]

19 hours ago, LittleRorie said:

Jen just patted my butt, giving me the signal to get down.

Glad to see an update! 🙂

[CCApril]

Good chapter! Are you going to tell us about Charlie's past and why he has that specific nightmare?

[IWANTHOTDOGS]

I  haven't gotten through all the chapters so far but I just had to comment. I LOVE this story. I love that its a mommy dom relationship but they are still adults. Partly why I like it so much is that everything in this story is basically the dream relationship for me.

[paddy1965]

Loving this story and really hope for more ❤️

[aldl4811]

This story is one of the best I have ever read. Really really nice work.