How should I proceed in life?

[theaspiringnothing5]

I just want to let you know that this post will probably be long. I apologize for that. But I wanted to ask this question here first and not on someplace like Reddit because I feel like you guys will know me better, if only because we share the same lifestyle. I feel like I'm at my endpoint and need to make a drastic change now or I never will. I'm 29 years old. No friends, no college degree, no job. I've been living with my parents my entire life, scrounging up enough money each week for basic necessities by doing online surveys and university research studies. I spent my entire life in New England in a small two-story house. This all changed six months ago when my parents moved out to South Carolina and I moved with them. This house is much smaller and there feels like there is no escape. Everybody is on top of each other. It's one story and really only made for two people, not three. I feel like I'm going crazy.

I have very lackluster work experience. The only thing I have is two CompTIA IT certifications (Network and Security). I have 8000 dollars saved up. No debt, no obligations. I have a working car in my name. I know I need to leave but have no idea where to start or how to go about it. I don't want to stay in the south, and I don't want to go back east. I have dreams of moving somewhere in the Midwest and trying to find work there. I'm thinking Kansas City might be a good place for me. But again, I'm completely clueless about this. Nobody ever taught me about things like money or rent or apartments or moving out on my own. My parents really focused mainly on their jobs and not on raising a son. I've always had social issues and I'm sure they just gave up at a certain point and that's fine, I don't blame them at all. But it's left me mentally a child.

Has anyone ever just up and left at a certain point? That's what I feel I need to do. I think I should rent an AirBnb for a month and apply to any job possible and hope I can get some type of work. Or maybe just live out of my car. I don't think I can go on much longer like this.

[Little Sam]

I mean probably, ideally, the way to go about this would be to get a job at a nationwide chain somewhere, then find somewhere cheap to live for a bit, then figure out where you want to go and apply for a transfer.

 

Edit to add:

Obviously, after that you can start looking for better work, but it's much easier if you have a steady income first. If you don't want to get a job first, then make sure you have enough saved to cover your expenses for at least twice as long as you think you'll need.

[oznl]

43 minutes ago, theaspiringnothing5 said:

The only thing I have is two CompTIA IT certifications (Network and Security). I have 8000 dollars saved up. No debt, no obligations. I have a working car in my name.

That sounds like a great opening line for a movie 😆  I hold a CompTIA Security+ certification.  I didn't bother with the Network one as I understood it to be technologically a subset of the Security+ which when I did it, had a bunch of hard core networking stuff dialed into it anyway.  It's not a trivial skill set to obtain that and I wouldn't have thought there would be too many people your age who could configure a firewall "closed book" or have wrapped their head around basic cryptography.   I've noticed that a lot of the recent generic IT grads have just skimmed over a lot of the fundamentals which is a shame in my view because those fundamentals tend to out-live some of the more faddish buzz-words of the day.

I would have thought that it, in conjunction with your age (and if you'll pardon the impertinence, associated low cost) to get a foot in the IT door *somewhere*  It won't be glamorous though.  You'll probably do your time re-imaging laptops at the back of a dingy shop or telling users to turn things off and on again.

Getting employment will be crucial to you but I'd had to see a network/security cert person flipping burgers.

51 minutes ago, theaspiringnothing5 said:

Has anyone ever just up and left at a certain point?

Yes.  I did.  A few weeks after my 19th birthday.  I didn't really have a choice though.  I survived, and eventually thrived.  It was scary at first.

[beallucanb]

You need to have a steady income in order to make a move out on your own.

Getting out on your own isn't easy, I waited until I was in my mid 20s to move out of my parent's home.

What no one tells you, the first few months of living on your own is very expensive, I can't imagine how much more it would cost in today's world.

 

While you are waiting to go on your own start collecting things like bedding, cooking utensils, microwave, or toaster oven(this stuff will save you money if you can get it used)

Take donations from friends and family, used stuff works and is good enough to get you started.

The bad news is, you need deposit money for apartments, electric service, for water service and sewer if it does not come with the apartment.

Its not easy on your own, I have lived alone for the past 30 years, things happen without notice make sure you keep at least a few thousand bucks or so on the side for emergencies.

 

[oznl]

4 minutes ago, beallucanb said:

You need to have a steady income in order to make a move out on your own

 

Yep.  I don't think I was clear enough on that point.  When I said employment was "crucial", I *should* have said, you MUST have something resembling reliable income lined up first.

I left home in a hurry but I'd seen it coming for a few months.  I'd ditched university (so sad about that and now it's too late) and pulled a badly-paid job in IT off the back of friends of friends who knew me as a high school computer nerd.

And, expect to sleep on a blow-up mattress and use cardboard boxes for furniture for a while in a hell-hole.  I did that

[Apache Raccoon]

I feel your pain, I'm in a similar situation.

[Little Cub Pants]

1 hour ago, Apache Raccoon said:

I feel your pain, I'm in a similar situation.

Hi Ashy! I miss you. Big hugs!🤗♥️ Hope you had a happy Thanksgiving!

[Apache Raccoon]

3 minutes ago, Baby Helix said:

Hi Ashy! I miss you. Big hugs!🤗♥️ Hope you had a happy Thanksgiving!

Happy thanksgiving Jeggy weggy

[feralfreak]

step 1: get a job, any job, even its its minimum wage because it will give you a chance to build up a good work history which better employers will look at, and somewhere up the chain of whatever you start with might have a job with a better pay rate for your IT skills.

step 2:just work that job.

step 3: after you have a couple months work history you can look for an apartment or a even a foreclosure home, i would advise you to take up an interest in carpentry, if you look for a fixer upper.

when you move out, step 4: get your own cooking and eating ware, towels, and expect to have cheap furniture.

if you have any kind of condition like autism it might help you to get help to get work, contact your local office of vocational rehabilitation and they might be able to help you get work.

[tuffy]

I know in my area (southwest US) that MSPs will snap up anyone that knows how to configure and troubleshoot a firewall. The main thing is that you show up for work and fix stuff. As @oznlsaid, you'll have to do your share of front line support as well, at least until you prove yourself. Cultivate a passion for solving problems and don't give up.

If the market in your area is anything like where I am, you won't have any trouble finding  IT work. Stay there for at least a year before you start looking elsewhere, but take it one day at a time. Save your money, maybe pay your parents some rent.

If you're looking for friends, check out meetup.com for things that interest you. If you're not sure where to start, find a group that focuses on network security. They're a great resource to learn from those with more experience and enhance your skills by teaching those with less then you have. You can also keep track of the job market that way. If you just want social interaction, find a local Littles munch to attend. Making friends is just a matter of getting to know someone and being kind. Take an interest in what they enjoy, especially if you feel the same way.

 

[theaspiringnothing5]

Thank you everyone for the kind responses!

[beallucanb]

I don't know if it was mentioned, roommates, at first sounds like a great idea, however someone will always come up short, leaving the one that made the lease arrangements holding the bag.

I wish you well, make the most of your time at home, stash as much cash as you possibly can, good luck.

[Little Sam]

31 minutes ago, beallucanb said:

I don't know if it was mentioned, roommates, at first sounds like a great idea, however someone will always come up short, leaving the one that made the lease arrangements holding the bag.

These days, many people don't have a choice, unfortunately. But I'd say that no matter how great you seem to get on at first, you should still always have a proper signed legal agreement, drafted by a lawyer. Just assume it will end in tears, and design things from the start to minimise the fallout.

Also, if you're somewhere without a large local kink community as a pool of candidates for potential roommates, I'd always recommend you try the local LGBTQ+ community. They're far more likely to have a "weird kink, but whatever you do you" attitude, than your average Joe.