Understanding

[Bob2305]

I have been dating my gorgeous girlfriend for just over 3 months and I’d like to share my experience. Early on I was determined to tell her about my desire to wear a nappy as it makes me feel relaxed and safe and I wanted to give her the opportunity to walk away if she wasn’t comfortable with this side of me. I’ll tackle my journey so far in 4 parts.
1. Revealing this part of me honestly
2. Her initial response
3. Where we are now

Here goes….
1. Revealing my baby / little side
This was by far the hardest thing I have ever undertaken, telling someone you really care for that you are (in some peoples eyes) very odd. It was one evening after she had told me about some of the turbulence that she had experienced in her own past. What she told me made me want her even more (not age play or fetish related) so after listening to her story I felt I just had to be fully transparent with her regarding my own issues. (All true)
I don’t wet every night but it’s not too often that I wake up dry. As with most people, I had lived with a feeling of shame about this part of me but I knew that if we were to have a chance together I would have to tell her everything. 
The conversation started by me explaining about my bed wetting, how I deal with it (by wearing a nappy) and how it made me feel (relaxed, safe and yes, also quite excited)
As a foot note, whilst having therapy for an unrelated issue my bed wetting and nappy wearing came out in the open and the therapist who was amazing helped me to realise that I wasn’t evil or a freak for the way I was.

As with most accounts I’ve read, I didn’t do the best job in explaining as there was still confusion in my own understanding of this part of me. However because of my therapy I was able to explain how as a bed wetting child I wore nappies for the most part until the age of 14 and yes, I derived comfort and pleasure from wearing a nappy to bed. I think that I even had my first orgasm whilst wearing a nappy and I definitely became aroused at bedtime so the sexual link was there early on.

Once I had explained as much as I could I sat in front of her waiting for her response / reaction.

2. Her response
I have to say that I was floored by her response (which has taken me some time to fully believe) when she just held me and more or less said “so what” My revelation made no difference in her eyes, she still thought the world of me and my expose hadn’t changed that. Wow!! I didn’t expect her unconditional acceptance of my revelation but then all I really had to go on was what I’ve read from other people in a similar situation to mine. From that moment on I have worn a nappy to bed with her on many occasions. Sometimes I put it on myself and sometimes she has done the honours (you can guess which I prefer!!) I can say from the bottom of my heart that this woman has made me more whole than I could have ever imagined I’d feel. 

3. Where we are now
To start with I’m enjoying spending time with an amazing woman first and foremost. Our relationship is so strong that I still pinch myself to make sure I’m not dreaming!! As far as it relates to this post, I’m just so happy that she is accepting of all of me. 
How the relationship develops is anyone’s guess but it couldn’t be built on stronger foundations of honesty and openness towards each other and on that basis I am happily confident that we have as good a chance as any couple in having an amazing life together.

Yes, I’d love to be nurtured and babied as much as she feels comfortable with. We even looked for nappies online together which felt surreal yet thrilling. I’d love to be bathed, dressed, fed, changed and all the other things that contributors have mentioned in various posts I’ve read on here. Most importantly however is that I want to make sure that I can make this love of mine as happy as she has certainly made me.

I had never before felt I could be open with a loved one because of this part of me but she has proved me wrong in so many ways. 

So thank you my gorgeous girl (you know who you are) and I love you so so much
Xxx

[nappy-cub]

That's so awesome! You've been very brave and I'm pleased she is open and caring about this side of you. How did you both meet, may I ask?

[abgreen]

Congrats! Thanks for sharing. Sounds like you approached this in all the right ways: sharing relatively early on in the relationship, not presenting it in a shameful or selfish way, and keeping her needs and side of things a priority. Best to you. Cheers. 

[Bob2305]

How did I meet her? Online is the answer. Just a normal dating site. I had no expectations of meeting someone special but she and I clicked the first time we spoke. I didn’t speak about my baby side at first as that was not the reason I went on the site. Once I felt that we may get serious I resolved to tell her about this part of me. And it is only a part of me. I find her very attractive and am proud to have her on my arm when we are out together. I am a very lucky man / boyfriend / baby

 

12 minutes ago, abgreen said:

 

Congrats! Thanks for sharing. Sounds like you approached this in all the right ways: sharing relatively early on in the relationship, not presenting it in a shameful or selfish way, and keeping her needs and side of things a priority. Best to you. Cheers. 

Cheers to you too

[~Brian~]

@Bob2305

Good morning! I'm so glad that you are able to talk to your girlfriend about this, even though this is a very hard subject to broach. Most of the problem stems from people's unwillingness to understand that people do have prior stigmas and other skeletons in their closet, be it because somebody makes light of somebody wearing diapers when they don't think they should, or something about your parents or family members making fun of you or making light of it, in a negative way, and when it becomes something like that, there's nothing therapeutic about it, it's just something that people use against you, because they always have these old stigmas or old school values that have always been there, because no one changes this thinking.

There's also another piece of this. Some people that don't understand the reasoning for why people want to wear diapers or why people like diapers, or why they would want to regress or do things that are associated with our lifestyle, or use equipment associated with it or wear clothing or whatever. My take is this: there are many things in this world that are very very bad, and there are many things in this world that we don't understand, there are many things in this world that probably people don't want to understand, or they just blow it off or they make fun of it because they don't understand it. When you have someone who is an ABDL, or a diaper lover or an adult kid or whatever it is, these people are special in their own right because they have specific needs, they have specific feelings and other things that make them Unique! Rather than have someone try to understand what it is that they deal with, many people would turn around and say that it's bad, because they don't understand. It's one thing not to understand, it's one thing not to be able to understand and accept it right off, and some people don't understand and don't accept it, because they don't understand it themselves. But the most important thing is, these people are people just like you and I, they end up working in their jobs they have families they have feelings they have emotions they have fears trepidations, and they don't know what to do with them sometimes, and it can be a pain: a pain in more ways than one: this is because someone feels the way they do or they have these urges or they have these feelings or they want to regress or they want to wear diapers or do things in our lifestyle, but they're afraid to tell people about it for the simple reason that someone may turn around and tell them that they're crazy or they're somehow out of sorts, and they try to figure a way to fix someone that is dealing with these issues.

There is nothing to fix: you are what you are, you know what you know, and you feel the way you feel! This is important to note because regardless of what someone says what someone believes or any of these stigmas that have been around since the early 30s 40s or whatever, maybe earlier than that I'm not sure: let's just say that because of stigmas that have been enforced for so many years, people are told that diapers are bad, diapers are for babies, and they make you feel less of a man or a woman because you wish to wear them or because you like them. They then throw you into a subset of people that they think are somehow in error because of their ways, and I can tell you there's nothing wrong with being who you are what you are and doing what you do. The most important thing is that whatever we do, we're adults we're consenting adults, and as long as we do things in an appropriate way in an appropriate manner in an appropriate place and keep our lifestyle under control so that some people that do not need to know of our lifestyle or be exposed to it are kept out of it, it shouldn't matter. The problem is is there are people that like to stick their noses into everything! If they don't have something on you, they'll use it against you, or they'll find something a juicy little tidbit that they can use against you or something that can be used as a bargaining chip or something that can be used to ruin you! It's bad enough that people feel the way they do, and it's bad enough that the world itself is so screwed up that people want to be able to regress, people want to feel like they belong in a situation where they don't have to worry about jobs or responsibilities, they don't have to worry about making adult decisions, they don't have to worry about making ends meet, and they're scared of the world around them because people don't accept them, and that is part of the problem: people don't understand something, so they end up making a big mess out of it, blowing it way out of proportion and making a big production out of it! If people would just keep their noses out of other people's businesses, then that would be no problem at all. Being a member here on DD: this is one place that I feel safe, one place that I can let my hair down, 1 place that makes sense to me and to others. We don't have to get permission from someone to be who we are, we don't have to be frightened out of who we are and then threatened to stop doing what we're doing. We do things inappropriate ways, we still have the feelings and we still have the urges and everything like that, but we have to find appropriate ways to deal with those particular feelings and urges, so that we will be able to function in the world.

Irregardless of what happens: we both know that we have two separate lives that We lead: we lead the life of an adult, doing the things that we need to do, taking responsibilities for our families, our bills, our jobs, decisions that we have to make to make our lives run right, and other things. We support our partners and our significant others and girlfriends and boyfriends and things like that. Do all these things, and we continue to live our life, but we always keep a section of us walled off, away from the world around us, or we keep it in Veiled confidence: there are certain people that we may tell of our desires or our feelings or our urges or our feelings or whatever they are, but we don't go telling everyone around us because some of the things that we feel we might not understand ourselves, so it's better to keep it to ourselves until we're able to do that in an appropriate way. Take heart because you have done what you need to do: you have decided that you will disclose to someone who you feel trust in of your desires and your feelings and other things that make you specialized. You are not weird, you are not broken, you are not crazy or silly, you are individual with unique feelings and unique urges, with a lot of different things that are probably spinning around in your mind right now. You're probably wondering what will happen next, and you're probably on cloud 9 because you're able to do what you thought was going to be literally impossible, and your girlfriend was able to tell you so what!?

I can tell you this: do not feel ashamed or upset or anything like that do not feel that you have done anything wrong because you have not! You are who you are, and you always will be what and who you are. Anyone else tell you that who or what you are not.  Allow yourself to be the person you want to be, allow that to come out, allow that to be nurtured loved and cherished. Of course you will have to remain an adult, but there's no harm in allowing your younger self or your fetish or your feelings or your lifestyle to somehow take a portion of your life and be molded around it. The most important thing is that regardless of what happens you must keep yourself on an even keel, keeping yourself happy healthy and able to function. Remember that your mental physical emotional spiritual and psychological health are important! Make sure that you are talking to appropriate professionals as needed, and have a discussion with them as necessary to keep yourself on an even keel. Do not be afraid to be who you are, but be vigilant and on guard, because you don't want to somehow disclose information that would be harmful to you or to others to someone that you don't want to have it disclosed to, and you don't want to end up exposing someone who is not a party to this to your fetish or your lifestyle without their consent. Most of the time what you will feel is that you will feel like you are vindicated: you will feel like you're whole, you will feel like a piece of you is returned that you missed, and you will feel like you are the person whom you believe you are. It takes a long time to come to a realization that you are what you are and that you like what you like and that you deal with what you deal with. Important thing is you must be able to deal with many situations, but because you are able to tell your girlfriend exactly what's going on, make sure to take it slow, because you don't want to push it too fast. Let her help you bring your little self to the surface, or allow yourself to have her help you bring it to the surface. You will be able to find a way to be able to function either way. Trust me, the best thing that you can do is to continue on your journey to figure out exactly what you're dealing with and why you feel the way you do, once you figure out exactly what's going on, you can then accept what it is that you're dealing with, and once you are able to accept it, that you know you need it, or you know it's good for you, or that'll help you in some way, then you will be able to add that to your life and you will be able to be the person you want to be. Don't hide behind somebody else: the worst thing that can happen is someone lives a life or lives a lie, living a life that they don't feel comfortable in, and then they end up in major problems because they don't feel good about themselves and then you end up in trouble, and then you need more help. Trust me when I say that I went through some of the things that you went through yourself with your girlfriend, but are you ended up going through them in my head, talking to people that I trusted, talking to people that I know wouldn't disclose things they don't need to disclose, and I also know that I've talked to my brothers and my family members that I trusted: I now know that I am what I am and I've always been that way, I've been wired that way and I've always had those feelings and I've always had those urges and things like that, but there are ways to be able to deal with them in an appropriate way so that you can function to whatever level you want.

Remember that you need to keep their lines of communication between you and your girlfriend open! Allow her to ask you questions allow her to help you as far as you want to allow her to, and then, make sure you ask her questions and find out how she feels, and set realistic expectations and realistic boundaries! If you can do that and you can come to an agreement as to what you will be able to do and how far you want to go, you should be able to do very well. I always say to keep the lines of communication open because you wouldn't want to have a great relationship go beyond something that you guys don't see because of a miscommunication or a misunderstanding. If you both agree and know what's going on, and you're able to deal with it, then you're more able to deal with almost anything that works between you. Always used to say that the most important thing in a relationship is to not hold any secrets: when I asked my parents What the secret of a marriage is, they told me that they have no secret, because they discuss everything, and they let Each other know how they're feeling and they discuss everything, and they come up with a decision, and then they act on it or they end up thinking about it some more, but they always are thinking about things and they're always talking about things. That's what makes a good relationship, the minute something happens, They're always discussing things and figuring out ways to do what they want to do. I think you found a good match here: just don't push the limits too fast! That can backfire in your face and that can be detrimental.

And let me tell you this: when your girlfriend says so what? That is the type of response that I would respond to in a very favorable light because there are people who wear diapers all the time, for whatever reason, and there are good reasons for doing it. There's incontinence, there is disability, there's mental and physical reasoning, emotional reasoning or psychological reasoning, or comfort reasoning or whatever it is. Wearing a diaper is no big deal: people do it all the time: they do it because they have to, either because of mental physical emotional psychological or whatever reason, or simply because of a medical reason. You don't necessarily have to be incontinent to wear a diaper, and incontinence is one reason, comfort and security are other reasons, but they are medical reasoning: if the worst thing that happens in a person's life is that they wear diapers, then friend, this is the easy part! Remember that a diaper is simply an underwear choice: that's all it is, a padded garment with tapes, and I could go on and on about how relationships can go out the window because of that particular garment, because somebody is turned off because of it or doesn't want it worn at all, or because of somebody else's stigma or belief A diaper is not the enemy here, it is a friend and it helps you in many ways. You have found a lady who is accepting of that particular situation, and you are already talked to her, keep the lines of communication open and remember that the idea here is that you need to both be able to communicate be able to maintain a solid relationship, and I'm sure that can happen as long as you guys are constantly in communication, and things are not changing to the negative!

Finally I'll say this: the most important thing in life is that you find the person that you are compatible with: most people find those individuals after many years, after a lot of talking after a lot of soul searching and after dealing with feelings and other situations. The good marriages that last the longest last that way in my opinion because people are always talking, or always letting each other know how things are, they don't lie they don't cheat they don't steal, and they don't hold back any secrets. If they have a problem with something, they bring it forward and they discuss it and they bring it out in the open. Some of the most scariest things that can happen during the relationship are the idea that you might have found somebody that you really really really love, or they're really awesome, in more ways than one, and then if you're not able to bring forward things like you just did to your girlfriend, then you worry about what she's gonna say, or what she's gonna do. People who love you for who you are and what you are will understand: they might not understand why you want to wear diapers or how you got into it, or why they make you feel the way that they do, or why you want to regress or act that way, but people that love you from who you are and what you are love you because of you, because of the person you are and because of what you stand for and your beliefs and your abilities and your compassion and your love and your ability to see beyond the little things, to see the big picture, or just to be a fun person! I can't tell you how many times I've been involved in relationships where you meet some nice lady or you meet a girl, and you think of all the things that can possibly go wrong, and you're always thinking the negative, or you worry about something and you find out it's no big deal, and that you shouldn't have to have worried about it, but you still do it. There's the other side of the coin where You find a fun individual, and then you're thinking that it'll be fun and then something happens and you get dropped like 100 lbs of weight! Maybe it's just me and the way things happen to me, but if you find the right person you will know it, and if a person you find loves you, the best thing that you can remember is that if they really love you, they can work around your weaknesses and help you because of their strengths, and you can help her with her weaknesses and it goes both ways. The most important thing is that our relationship should not be something that you're afraid of simply because you're wearing diapers! If you're able to find the right individual and they sure do seem right, and they love you and care about you for who you are, diapers are the least of the worries that you need to worry about!

In 2019 I was worried myself, because I knew that I needed help! Many people have these preconceived notions about what diapers are needed for and who wears them and why they wear them, and who shouldn't wear them in everything else. Are notions and stigmas that were burned into our heads when we were kids, telling us that diapers were disgusting and bad, and that we don't want anything to deal with diapers at all, we want to stay away from them. Of course, most people would probably not want to deal with diapers again if they can help it, but many people do, they want to be able to wear them for whatever reason or they might have to wear them for medical reasons, but the most important thing is, when I talk to my friends and told them about my decision and my disability and the reason why I did it, I was overwhelmed with loving support and understanding, it wasn't the big black cloud over me that I was thinking it was gonna be, and that's because I have people that understand. I have people that know what can happen, and preconceived notions can be really crazy and silly, but The thing is if you have good friends and you have good support systems, you can do anything and you can go anywhere and you can make things happen!

So as I said take it easy and take it slow, and congratulations you have found a young lady who is accepting of you to a point. Don't push it too fast, continue to discuss things and work it out, because I'm sure that if you're willing to do that, things can workout to your advantage! Far too many people are turned off because of diapers, or bad things can happen in relationships because someone would accept it and then all of a sudden have a change of heart, and that can cause major problems and also despair heartache and everything else. However, if you keep an open mind in a positive attitude anything is possible, and I congratulate you because you have done the most important thing that you have to do: let her know what is going on, and now all we have to do is wait to see what happens hugs

Good Luck!

Brian

[Mishadip]

Wow Bob, congratulations on the good start, do keep the lines of communication open and take stuff slowly.

 

I'm in a relationship where my wife does not know, and even if I did tell her today, and for whatever reason she was on board. I would suggest being very careful.  Some thing as intimate as diapers needs to be completely a two way street and have a fair amount of discussions.

 

I'll lay out a hypothetical situation in a moment. I like to wear diapers I wear anywhere from 10 to 15 A year so certainly not a lot of diapers and part of that is lack of opportunity. I only recently started exploring my " little" side

Ok hypothetical part I've told my wife and to my surprise she's on board with it. A few months in to her knowing about me she tries diapers and goes Gaga for diapers. She wants to wear 24 7 and wants me to change her. Baby her etc.

Would I be wrong for turning that down? while I believe diapers could be a fun part of a relationship. I don't think anything could make a couple more vulnerable and intimate to one another than both persons wearing diapers together occasionally.  I also know That I would be very uncomfortable with changing her or being changed by her.  Maybe I would change my mind, And maybe I would discover I just couldn't do it.

Communication and willingness have to be a two way street. If you want to be babyed  or changed, would you be willing to baby and change her? Occasionally,? Frequently? Everybody has different likes and dislikes.

 

Best case you can find a common respect and place for diapers in your relationship. It can happen.

But often times one side is not as willing as the other, good luck on finding the right mix. Of communication, respect, boundaries, love and diapers.

[Stroller]

Congratulations Bob.  I took the same big decision to tell my then girlfriend 30 years ago.  It's hard to do isn't it?  Now we have two grown-up kids and I'm in nappies full-time.  We both do our best to look after each other, and it's really worked out well for us.  I hope the same comes true for you - good luck with it!

[Bob2305]

3 hours ago, Stroller said:

Congratulations Bob.  I took the same big decision to tell my then girlfriend 30 years ago.  It's hard to do isn't it?  Now we have two grown-up kids and I'm in nappies full-time.  We both do our best to look after each other, and it's really worked out well for us.  I hope the same comes true for you - good luck with it!

Yes it was really tough. It still feels strange sharing this part of me with someone I love.  My way of dealing with it is to not make any demands or have any pre conceived ideas as to how she should be involved. My feelings won’t go away (I know that by now) I’m just glad that she is being so supportive.

Thanks for your input, it is greatly appreciated

[babybuddha]

Hey there,

Firstly, I'm genuinely overjoyed reading your post. The sheer happiness and contentment radiating from your words is palpable. It's wonderful to know that you've found a significant other who supports and accepts every facet of you.

I can resonate with your story. I've recently connected with a wonderful woman who is so accepting and embracing of my ABDL side. The joy of feeling understood and accepted is unparalleled. We haven’t met in person just yet, but the anticipation builds up daily. I’m optimistic about our future, just as you are with your relationship.

Your story is a testament to the power of genuine love and understanding. I wish you both every happiness as you continue to grow together. It's stories like yours that inspire and give many of us hope.

Cheers to the wonderful journey ahead and to the love that makes it all worthwhile!

Warm regards,

Starlight ⭐

[Bob2305]

Off to see my girlfriend this evening and I’m really looking forward to it. She has told me that I am going to be taken care of which excites me no end. Most importantly is that she likes to mother me and I’m more than happy for her to dictate what happens rather than me leading. Here’s to a fun filled evening!!

[Bob2305]

I had a fab experience last night. My girlfriend took me upstairs and undressed me. I asked if I could suck my thumb but was denied. Instead, she put my dummy in my mouth and told me softly I should suck on it instead. I was then lotioned up had my nappy fastened followed by my baby pants being pulled up to cover my disposable. She then put me in a snap up tee shirt. I felt nervous but also euphoric. Once settled in bed she produced a bottle of milk and proceeded to feed me. This was a first and I absolutely loved it. I almost fell asleep but it felt so natural and the feeling of love was second to none. 

suffice to say that I woke up with an expanded bulk between my legs. My girlfriend woke up a few minutes later and just pulled me towards her so we could embrace. I did change out of the wet nappy myself but do hope that she may take that role on in the future.

 

I can’t wait to see her for our next date….