ANOTHER DAY OUT ON THE DIAPER HIGHWAY

[Babypants]

It's 7 AM. The car is packed. The diaper, a Molicare Premium, is clean and just a little damp, from the odd dribble that seems inevitably to accompany muscling the boxes of wine from luggage cart to their appointed spot in the trunk. A clean pair of Leakmaster's PUL pants affords a bit of extra protection while still allowing air to reach my skin. The final touch is a protective pad on the car seat. I use pads from Walgreen's-- indeed, never leave home without them. They go underneath me every night on the road, and that's about a hundred nights a year.

I've been doing this for a long time. Well over a million miles in the air, and closing in on two million on the ground. Scores of countries, and all fifty states. I make this particular round trip between Minneapolis and the Texas Hill Country five times a year, with a DFW airport hotel my preferred jumping off point for the return leg. It's 992 miles from this particular hotel to the house, a straight shot up I-35 that I've done dozens of times. If I push it, stopping only for gas, diaper changes and to buy food to be eaten while driving, I'll get home a little after 10 PM. I don't drive fast-- 73 MPH on the interstate is good enough for me, even when conditions are ideal. Of course, road construction, accidents and the vagaries of the weather can make any trip take a lot longer than planned. So, here's my first two tips: 1) pack more diapers than you plan on using; and 2) do the long hauls on Sunday. The construction zones are empty, and there is a lot less traffic, particularly truck traffic, out on the roads. If you can make weather the only variable, you are well ahead of the game.

It's time to leave, and knowing that I am going to mess my diaper at least three times across the course of this long day, I've divided the trip into legs that are centered on large truck stops. I prefer Love's, although Pilot and Flying J are also solid options. I'll be tanking up in Tonkawa, OK; Eagleville, MO; and Clear Lake, IA. However, I expect the first diaper change to occur in Ardmore, OK, about 35 miles north of the Red River. Hotel breakfasts tend to run through me pretty fast, and the Love's in Ardmore is a nice facility. Getting ready for the diaper change starts in the hotel room before check-out. A jug gets filled with ordinary tap water; topped off with several drops of Blue Dawn down at the car, this goes on the floor behind the passenger seat. I'm wearing boat shoes, with socks in the wintertime, and without in the summer. Boat shoes allow your skin to breathe, and do not inhibit circulation. You want to stay away from anything with laces-- and guys? Empty your pockets when you start driving. You aren't doing your lower back any favors if you're sitting on a thick wallet for long hours, and there's a reason why the cabin crews tell you to empty your pockets during an emergency descent.

You have also organized your diaper bag before departing, in preparation for using the handicapped stall in your truck stops. These are invariably on the back wall of the restroom, with a wall that you will be able comfortably to lean against for your clean up and change. So, your bag should contain one disposable; you will be reloading your bag when you return to your vehicle, so there is no need to put in more than one. It should also contain a packet of ordinary baby wipes, accompanied by a handheld mirror, the latter with a handle. This will enable you to survey the damage, and will take the guessing out of your cleanup. An optional item is a pair of folding scissors. Those pesky diaper tapes do make a lot of distinctive noise when ripped open, so if you prefer the silent treatment, scissors are the way to go. Of course, you will need a plastic bag, of the grocery store variety, to wrap up your diaper and wipes for disposal-- and don't forget to have a couple of two pagers from the newspaper that you picked up in the lobby of your hotel this morning at check-out. This is what you will be standing on when you start your diaper change, in part because it gives you the option of taking off your shoes or sandals without standing on a dubious floor, but also because it's elementary courtesy not to have bits of your poop end up on said floor, however dirty, before you take your leave!

There are other options for you to consider. One of the nice things about disposables is that you can apply Desitin or a like product before putting on a fresh diaper. My preference, unless I'm combating a diaper rash, is coconut butter. It's just as protective, and it has a nice smell. Who doesn't love coconut?

Because your quarters aren't cramped, once you've hung your pants up on the back of the door (I prefer to take off my shirt as well, just to get it out of the way), remove the dirty diaper and slide it to the floor between your feet. Mirror in hand, start wiping, taking care to drop each used wipe into the diaper as you go. Keeping in mind that the lighting probably isn't the best, you also want to take care to wipe back to front, lest you miss something and later wonder where that itch is coming from. Personally, I finish clean up with a wet wash cloth that's stored in a plastic food bag, which will be wrung out with water from that jug when I get back to the car. Did I mention that the jug has several drops of Dawn blue dish soap in it, which I added to the jug out at the car? Well, it's worth mentioning twice because you can buy very small containers of this super dooper product that should accompany you everywhere you go. And don't worry if your skin is a bit damp when you put on your fresh diaper … it's going to love you anyway.

Did you get any of your feces on your shoes? Not a problem. A paper towel rinsed from your jug of water will take care of it, and the truck stops all have heavy duty paper towels in their racks. Heck, most of the time, you can wait until you get back to the car and use the same towels that get deployed to clean the windshield. I do not, however, recommend using the soapy water that also goes onto your windshield. During the course of the day, that stuff gets nasty.

One final tip, and that's always to carry disposable plastic gloves for your messy diaper changes. Even a paper cut can allow access to your blood stream, and this is not where you want fecal matter to go. A pair of these gloves sits atop my diaper bag when I open it. They go on before the messy diaper comes off, and they come off just before the coconut oil goes on. And just to be doubly safe, I use hand sanitizer before heading back out onto the highway.

And no, I did not leave my car parked out at the gas pump when I headed inside. I'm a big believer in life's basic courtesies-- and that includes carrying my bag with its stinky diaper outside for disposal rather than dumping it in the restroom. Public restrooms are nasty places at the best of times, so we should all do our bit for the cause, right?

I'm neither AB nor DL. I'm incontinent. Yawn. Changing diapers to me is just a logistical exercise. Suspense takes the form of trying to decide whether I can squeeze just a little more life out of my beloved Molicare, or whether it's going to leak if I don't exit for that next truck stop. And I suppose I should mention that I religiously stop every two to two and a half hours anyway to get out and walk around. It's the sciatic nerve that gets to me on these long hauls, not the incontinence. Sciatic attacks, of which I've had over 200, are really bad news. Incontinence is merely an inconvenience, but checking one's diaper is a ready made excuse for periodically getting out of the car.

Most of my time out on the road is devoted to reviewing BBQ restaurants. As of now, I've published 375 reviews scattered across 35 states. Elote really gets to me, and likewise brisket chili, pinto beans, pork belly burnt ends … heck, BBQ and messy diapers just seem to go hand in hand. What's not to like?

[littlebopeeper]

Hard to believe that no one has commented on this yet.  It's very useful advice.  I have always used cocoa butter, but after reading this I went and searched coconut butter and coconut oil.  It turns out that both are great for the skin.  I've cooked with coconut oil, and now I'm going to try it as a substitute for baby oil, which takes too long to dry on the skin because it's so greasy.  

[Babypants]

On 6/15/2023 at 1:13 PM, littlebopeeper said:

Hard to believe that no one has commented on this yet.  It's very useful advice.  I have always used cocoa butter, but after reading this I went and searched coconut butter and coconut oil.  It turns out that both are great for the skin.  I've cooked with coconut oil, and now I'm going to try it as a substitute for baby oil, which takes too long to dry on the skin because it's so greasy.  

Thank you for taking the time to let me know that you found this guide to dealing with diapers out on the open road useful.  It's had more than 500 views so far, which I did not expect.  I did hope that it would inspire others to pitch in with advice of their own, such as your comment about cocoa butter.  The more practical solutions that we come up with and share as a community, the greater the benefit to all.

[Babypants]

A couple of additional points that I hope may prove useful.

If readers are not familiar with the Bristol Stool Chart, I would encourage you to take a look.  Years ago, I worked with a dietician to put together a regime that would yield the soft, mushy stool in types 4-6.  This passes without resistance, which keeps pudendal nerve entrapment at bay, and I have found it remarkably easy to clean up while standing.  It typically takes me 2 baby wet wipes on each cheek, with ordinary toilet paper sufficing for the conventional wipe. I'm generally in and out of the toilet stall in 4 to 5 minutes.

The second point is odor.  I sat down with my doctor several decades ago, and what came out of the discussion was 500 mg of activated charcoal daily.  The instructions had to be followed meticulously, but the odor from my stool was completely neutralized within 10 days.  The change in color was a bit scary, but to be forewarned was to be forearmed.  When I'm on the road, it's good to know that the next guy using the stall won't have to contend with a nasty odor left over by my diaper.  If you are concerned about fecal odor, this is a conversation with your doctor well worth having.    

[Babypants]

Okay.  You're on the road, and you need to change a messy or leaky diaper.  Worse yet, you may need a change of clothes.  You want or need more space, and more privacy, than a bathroom stall provides.  What to do?

Welcome to the universe of truck stop showers.  You may have heard the mantra inside your favorite truck stop: "customer number xx, your shower is ready."

Most people think that the showers are reserved for professional truckers, but this is rarely the case, and in my experience is never the case with Love's, Pilot, TA, Flying J and the like.  Quality is high: I would compare facilities that I have used up and down I-35 with the business and first class showers offered by the major international airlines in their lounges at their most competitive ports of call. 

Each of the major chains has its own routine, which starts at the cash register, but the real variable is how long you will have to wait for your turn.  I've waited 45 seconds, and I've waited 45 minutes.  So, I always take my fully packed shower bag with me when I head to the register.  Nothing wrong with being optimistic.

Showers can easily set you back $10 or more, but there are rewards programs, and it's worth the time to check them out and see if you qualify.

There are quite a few sites on line that will walk you through the details, including the rules of etiquette that patrons are expected to observe.  The following is the on line guide to which I address friends and family; you might find some useful tips here as well.       

https://drivinvibin.com /2019/09/04/truck-stop-showers/

[rusty pins]

I only wear 24/7 if I take a solo vacation every two years, and I drive, no train or plane.  Makes it much easier to pack a suitcase and duffel bag with diapers, plastic pants, onesies and disposable bed pads.  No need worrying about checking luggage at an airport or having baggage inspected or even going through TSA checkpoints diapered.

I pack the back of my SUV with my duffel and suitcase of diapers the night before, also anything diaper related such as empty plastic grocery bags for bagging my used diapers.  I always pack more than I think I will need.  Better to have and not need than to need and not have.  The next morning I put my cooler with pop and my GPS in the car and load up anything else.  Last thing I do before leaving is put on my premium diaper of choice, Betterdry or this last year, Trest, then good plastic pants and a regular t-shirt onesie.  Shorts go over it all, and I like short legged shorts, maybe 4-1/2 to 5 inch legs at the most.  To me, shorts are not shorts if they go down to your knees.  This combo may seem a bit bulky but with denim shorts, the fabric is thick enough to help with the bulkiness, and the short legs also flair out somewhat and help (as long as I sit so no one can see up the leg openings).

I do not mess when on a trip, just wet my diapers and it's always a good idea to stop and walk every 2 hours to relieve pressure on your sciatic nerves.  With good premium high absorbency diapers I can make several stops and even see some sites along the way to my destination without having to always worry about needing to change my diaper.  This last trip I started with a Trest diaper at 8am and I didn't change it until 3pm.  It could have gone longer but it was getting really heavy and sagging a bit, even with the plastic pants, onesie and shorts to help keep it in place.

Here is a tip.  On a trip I plan out an itinerary weeks in advance, knowing where I will stop and what I plan on seeing well before I get to my hotel.  I knew my diaper wouldn't last until I got to my hotel around 8 or 9pm and would most likely need changed, so I bought a small shoulder bag that holds 2 premium diapers and a small package of wipes.  Backpacks are a lot bigger and bulkier and many places will ask you to take it off and leave it at the front of their business.  A small shoulder bag does not draw as much attention, same as a lady with a purse.  Even if someone wants to look in it, I say it's medical needs and I can show them.  After all, they are strangers out of town or out of state and they don't know me, I don't know them and will probably never see them again.  When planning my trip, I know what stop I'm going to make when it's around the time I figure I'll need to change diapers, and that helps with my planning.  In this case on my trip it was a small car museum that was housed in an old showroom from the 1930's with half of it in the service department.  As luck would have it, the service side had an old men's room with an outer door lock just perfect for diaper changing.  I asked the person taking admission if I could get my bag and change "my brief" in the restroom explaining incontinence, and he said it was no problem.  Again, I don't know him, he won't give it a second thought when I leave.  Being responsible, I double bagged my diaper in plastic grocery bags and deposited it in the trash bin.  Being able to check out places when you get there, getting the "lay of the land" so to speak helps you decide if there is a restroom where you can change diapers in privacy.  Had this not seemed a good place, there are always gas stations with restrooms, many with outer door locks.  Otherwise, changing in a handicap stall or even in a fast food restaurant can be done knowing whoever may come in while you are changing may be aware of what you are doing but most likely will give you a grin and that's it.  You won't ever see that man again, and should he say anything, I'd give him a, "What?  You have issues with people who have a disability?"  That should shut anyone up.

Again I plan my trip so I have an idea when I will need to change diapers and I'm usually not more than 5 to 10 miles from my hotel.  When I know I am about to need to change, I will take a run back to my hotel room and change diapers hoping room service is not cleaning my room.  Knowing how long my tours are going to run and if I have to be there at a specific time allows me to decide if I should change first to be safe or if I can last through the tour.

There are some threads here where people on trips think they need to tell the hotel staff they are bedwetters and wear diapers.  I say WRONG!  They just do it because I think part of them gets their jollies by telling people they wear diapers.  When staying at a hotel, everyone should treat their property as their own!  Yeah, I've seen photos of people's soaked and stained sheets and mattresses here because they like sleeping in pee stained smelly beds.  If that is there thing at home, so be it.  It has no place at someone else's home or hotel.  Instead of requesting a plastic sheet from the hotel, you make sure before you leave home that the combination of protection you wear to bed will not leak and get their bedding wet, not even a drop.  If your diaper at home leaks, get better diapers, add a booster, plastic pants and if still not 100% sure, sleep on a large disposable bed pad.  I did all this before my trip, had no issues with leaking at all but still wore plastic pants and slept on a disposable bed pad to be safe.  Not one leak and that same disposable bed pad lasted me the whole trip as it remained dry the whole time.  For what people pay overall on a vacation trip, spending a few bucks for a package of disposable bed pads is not going to hurt.

Another hotel tip has to do with disposing of used diapers.  I only wet and I might be able to take my diapers out each day and dispose of them at public trash bins, but I was averaging 4 diapers daily.  Tossing one out here and there is OK, but 4 bagged up diapers is a bit much.  I bring along 50 to 100 plastic grocery bags and when changing diapers in the hotel room, I double bag the wet diapers and place them in the trash can.  They are double bagged, you really can't see through the plastic at what is inside, although housekeeping probably has an idea what's in them.  If bagged up securely in double bags in a sanitary manner and tied tight, there shouldn't be an issue.  Just don't remove your diaper, roll it up and toss it in the trash without bagging it up securely.  I'm sure housekeeping has tossed out thousands of used baby diapers and probably many adult diapers as well and are used to it.  Just do it properly and respect housekeeping.

When going to a major attraction like an amusement park or Disney World, realize most of them have restrooms for special needs people including family rest rooms, handicap restrooms and places where a person can do what they need in privet.  Some have rental lockers where you can put your supplies until you need them.  When I was at Hershey Park for the day, I had my shoulder bag and really didn't want to carry it through the park but I found paying $20+ for renting a locker was too steep a price.  It was better anyway that I carried it with me as there were family restrooms all through the park and I didn't have to walk all the way from one end to the other just to get my diapers out of a rental locker when I needed to change.  Anyway, if any questions about special restrooms at such places, you can contact them via their website well before your trip and ask questions about family restrooms, handicap restrooms and even that you have incontinence and if there are places where you can change in privet.  Their customer service will be glad to answer any of your questions and point out all the area's throughout their park where they have handicap and family restrooms.

A road trip via automobile in diapers 24/7 is not a difficult thing as long as you plan ahead, set your itinerary and think out what you will be doing and where you can change when needed, especially if you are not near your hotel.  A small shoulder bag and some more discreet restrooms at attractions, gas stations and even other places may at times be a bit uncomfortable or lightly embarrassing, but always remember, people who may know what you are doing are going to be strangers who you will never see again.  Why be bothered by that?   

[Babypants]

3 hours ago, rusty pins said:

Backpacks are a lot bigger and bulkier and many places will ask you to take it off and leave it at the front of their business.  A small shoulder bag does not draw as much attention, same as a lady with a purse.  Even if someone wants to look in it, I say it's medical needs and I can show them.

Thanks, Rusty.  A great post!  I encourage everyone to be considerate of hotel housekeeping staff.  I bag up my soiled diaper/s in the morning, and drop them in the trash can outside the hotel entrance.  I do not leave them for staff to empty out because a soiled diaper sitting in a cart for hours is going to leave a nasty smell in the corridor.

A great feature of the big truck stops and their shower complexes is that drivers are coming and going all day and night with backpacks and large duffel bags.  Your bag is just one more in the crowd.

Finally, as Rusty says, treat the furnishings in hotel rooms kindly.  Put a hospital grade pad underneath you in bed at night, and if you are not already wearing vinyl or PUL pants over your diaper when you're on the road, please get in the habit.