Finding joy in helping others

[Enthusi]

I’ve doing a lot of reflecting on my journey.  I started rigorously untraining over five years ago when I ditched all my underwear. It’s been the journey of a lifetime and I have no regrets. I was disciplined and relentless in untraining and surpassed my expectations.  I have severe/total urinary  incontinence and I’ll likely be “stuck” in diapers.  

My journey isn’t over and I don’t think it will ever be. My bladder continues to shrink leading to increased frequency of wettings and a progressively deeper sense of helplessness.   I am also spending a lot of time contemplating the duality of diapers simultaneously being a source of joy and a sign of failure.  There’s also lingering questions of bowel incontinence.  I don’t desire it the way I do for UI, but I’m not doing anything to prevent it.  
 

But  my journey is over in the sense that being more diaper dependent is irrelevant. Does it really matter if I helplessly pee myself every 20 minutes instead of every 40 minutes?  Not really. 
 

I would be lying if I said I wasn’t sad or even bored. My untraining took up so much of my time and it was such a labor of love. It was a mission that I could sink my teeth into.  

Though it’s not all gloom and doom. In fact I am finding a deep unexpected joy in helping others untrain.  Desiring incontinence is such a bizarre and taboo thing.  Even among ABDLs we are in the minority.   It involves undoing a normal bodily function (bladder control) that is useful convenient. Incontinence is a terrible condition to live with if you don’t enjoy it.  
 

I’m slowly but steadily writing my guide on Targeted Untraining which is based on my journey and observations of what makes people more successful. It involves understanding how bladder control works so you can design and deploy individualized, meaningful techniques to undo it.  There’s nothing like it out there. I love lending my experience, celebrating joyful milestones, and providing support to those who feel frustrated or stuck or lonely.  
 

Please keep the updates coming. Happy to help. ?

[cathdiap]

1 hour ago, Enthusi said:

But  my journey is over in the sense that being more diaper dependent is irrelevant. Does it really matter if I helplessly pee myself every 20 minutes instead of every 40 minutes?  Not really. 
 

I would be lying if I said I wasn’t sad or even bored. My untraining took up so much of my time and it was such a labor of love. It was a mission that I could sink my teeth into.  

Though it’s not all gloom and doom. In fact I am finding a deep unexpected joy in helping others untrain

I am confused. First you say you are sad and bored since you have completed your journey to irreversible incontinence. And then you say you would be happy to help others to become incontinent too. Isn't that the same as offering people your service to become sad and bored just like you are now?

1 hour ago, Enthusi said:

Desiring incontinence is such a bizarre and taboo thing.

Exactly, but once you are irreversibly incontinent it is just a lifelong disability that you have to deal with. No more desires, no more fantasies about what it would be like, no more physical and mental effort required to get there. No better way to determine if your incontinence desire is coming from a BID or a sexual fantasy.  

[Enthusi]

1 hour ago, cathdiap said:

I am confused. First you say you are sad and bored since you have completed your journey to irreversible incontinence. And then you say you would be happy to help others to become incontinent too. Isn't that the same as offering people your service to become sad and bored just like you are now?

I never thought of it that way!  The sadness and boredom is with regards to not having an all-consuming goal like I used to have. So far I haven’t found anything to fill that gap.   When it comes living my life as someone with severe urinary incontinence, I am anything but sad and bored.   It was inevitable that the day would come where I didn’t have anything work towards. It’s a natural consequence of successfully completing the mission.  

Now that incontinence has been sought and achieved, making it a mission to  support others who are less further along in their journey is turning out to a deeply meaningful experience for me.   
 

 

[cathdiap]

Thanks for explaining, I think I understand what you are going through. I ended up in the same situation after I finally made the perfect stent for me. Still happy to be incontinent but nothing left to work on and think about.

It took me a while, but I found different goals to go for (outside the DL-realm). If I feel like it I choose to do it incontinent in diapers. Has there ever been a stented and diapered drummer on stage performing classic progressive rock? I know for sure there has been one at least.

The good thing for you is that every next thing you decide to do after achieving incontinence, you will always have to do it in diapers. So the fun of achieving new goals will be adding up to the fun of the one you already achieved. ?

[Kevin140]

On 2/22/2023 at 6:30 PM, Enthusi said:

My journey isn’t over and I don’t think it will ever be. My bladder continues to shrink leading to increased frequency of wettings and a progressively deeper sense of helplessness.   I am also spending a lot of time contemplating the duality of diapers simultaneously being a source of joy and a sign of failure.  There’s also lingering questions of bowel incontinence.  I don’t desire it the way I do for UI, but I’m not doing anything to prevent it.  
 

But  my journey is over in the sense that being more diaper dependent is irrelevant. Does it really matter if I helplessly pee myself every 20 minutes instead of every 40 minutes?  Not really. 

Congrets to you progress.

I haven't progressed that far yet. But I wear usually diapers only in daytime. (My goal is overactive bladder and urge incontinence.)

I'm still let it go at the lightest urge. And in some cases I wet my diaper without remembering it.

In nighttime I have to go 2 or 3 times to toilette. When I stand up in the morning and not use the toilette directly, sometimes I have small accidents, if I'm not concentrating hard on holding the urine.

I had recently tested going out the door without a diaper, well hydrated, I had to search a location to pee, every 20 to 40 minutes. I felt a lot of stress because of this and get a touch of helplessly, but also proudness of the changes that come from my untraining.

I'm proud that my body has changed so much, and it's my fault alone that it happened. I love this feeling so much.

... and I would also like to thank you for supporting me an all the others! ?