My 24/7 Journey

[munkey]

This journey starts at a young age and I’m writing this down in hopes of mentally understanding something about my life.  I appreciate any and all feedback. This is a long post.

I’m 43, unmarried, single, no kids.  Why does this matter you ask? Well, about 40ish years ago the desire to wear a diaper came. I recall being in preschool, daycare, or Sunday school. I saw a box of pampers and wanted to wear one. I had a horrible first 5 years of my life. I also recall having stinky issues, I would poop myself. I can’t tell you the frequency from 5-7, however, it would be every few months. I’d have some kind of incident, which still happens to this day and more often.  But, I never wore diapers growing up. I’d have some kind of major accident 1-2 times a year with minor poop leakage. I discovered my AB side sometime preteen but never did I think I was incontinent or would wear diapers 24/7.  It stayed this way until I was about 27 when I learned I have IBS.  I would start slowly dipping my toe in the waters over the next 8 years until 35 when I would start wearing 24/7 for weeks at a time, however, still pretty much using a toilet and rarely messing. I would go periods where I only wore diapers, as I didn’t have issues peeing, I could hold it all afternoon, unless I kept drinking liquids.  I also notice things back there were just… more comfortable, the diapers caught the leakage and made my day more enjoyable.

From 35 to 37, I would go months, then stop, I also would sometimes pee out of convenience, but I wasn’t training by any means and still Maintained the same control as I had.  37-39 I started reading about other people just going about life diapers all the time. I also noticed, no one knew I was ever diapered. From 39 on I was pretty much in diapers all the time.  However, I started going in my diapers WAY more, like, if I have to make a stinky, plop, it was out, had to go peeing? Why hold it? The instant urge to go started increasing. 

At 41, I was pretty much all in, but I’m still believing I’m continent.  However, if I had an urge to pee, I had maybe 30-60 minutes before some kind of leak happened.  If I have to poop, well there will be skid marks, I can’t stop myself, sometimes I’ll cough or something when trying to not poop and I can’t, I’ll poop my diaper.  Around this same time, I start reading about people retraining.  So I’m like huh,  I don’t continue to train, I keep my diapers… I just kind of stop caring.

At 3rd quarter of 41st year in this planet I get a car.  I notice, I can’t make it to a rest stop, don’t care, go about life.  If I’m with friends I try to make it to a toilet but I’m noticing sometimes the urge to go hits me with in 10-15 minutes. Like if I have to pee and don’t, something is leaking out 15-20 minutes. I still don’t care. This happens to continue all through age 42. Except, for the last 6 months of my 42 year I had a UTI, so frequency of peeing is about every 60-90 minutes is hydrated. I dealt with my UTI In December.  What I noticed from sept - dec of 2023 is I have 5-10 minutes to pee in a toilet.  If I try to hold, I squirt out. During that time I’ve been depressed and literally didn’t care, I’ve just been going, try holding noticed that issue. My birthday is end of dec. I’ve turned 43.

Currently… I’ve been talking with random people who have chosen this life style. I also have tried testing my continence, diapered or not, I leak, so I’m diapered or padded all the time now.  I tried holding various times in January however, my ability to hold sucks, so no bothering anymore.  When it comes to making a stinky, I will be mindful of others, unless beyond my control.  Alone, I don’t care, that’s what my diaper is for. As for actively training, I dunno what it’s classified as to how I’m going an about my 24/7 journey. I do know that I’m making no effort to prevent what is going on.  I also don’t quite believe I’m incontinent, open to opinions of others on that one.  

Now due to the UTI and changes in my urine continence, I am seeing a doctor about what’s going on.  However, I’m not interested in any treatment unless something serious is found and needs to be addressed.

With all that on the table, I dunno when I’ll be updating, but I will be updating this and look forward to sharing my journey with others.

[DiaperboyEddie12]

@munkey Awesome post here!  And A good read.  I do not have any advice as I am still working out my own life.

[munkey]

I met this girl online about a month ago, we started chatting and had our 4th date tonight.  As we kissed on our 3rd date I knew I had to open up about my incontinence.  I wrote her a letter explaining my situation and let her read it tonight and she didn’t call it off.  I guess time will tell how this plays out.  However, she’s aware of my diapering.

[DiaperboyEddie12]

5 minutes ago, munkey said:

I met this girl online about a month ago, we started chatting and had our 4th date tonight.  As we kissed on our 3rd date I knew I had to open up about my incontinence.  I wrote her a letter explaining my situation and let her read it tonight and she didn’t call it off.  I guess time will tell how this plays out.  However, she’s aware of my diapering.

@munkey That is awesome!  Keep us updated.

[Hannah YMS]

Looks like you're well on your way on your journey.

Although I'm a little confused. Are you trying to train towards continence, are you at a holding pattern hoping nothing gets worse, or is this your way of finally getting on the wagon and untraining? I feel there are conflicting thoughts in your post.

As to whether or not you're incontinent, you said it yourself, "I also have tried testing my continence, diapered or not, I leak, so I’m diapered or padded all the time now." So, by definition, you're incontinent. The process has just been a slow one and you're not being hit with the incontinence train right away. You've had a lot of time to prepare for this. If you can find a way to accept your incontinence I think your journey will be easier and will be more mentally healthy.

Good luck!

[munkey]

7 hours ago, jonbearab said:

Looks like you're well on your way on your journey.

Although I'm a little confused. Are you trying to train towards continence, are you at a holding pattern hoping nothing gets worse, or is this your way of finally getting on the wagon and untraining? I feel there are conflicting thoughts in your post.

As to whether or not you're incontinent, you said it yourself, "I also have tried testing my continence, diapered or not, I leak, so I’m diapered or padded all the time now." So, by definition, you're incontinent. The process has just been a slow one and you're not being hit with the incontinence train right away. You've had a lot of time to prepare for this. If you can find a way to accept your incontinence I think your journey will be easier and will be more mentally healthy.

Good luck!

Hey, I never set out to untrain as some have. However, as of recently I’m also only using my diapers.  Its been a slow regression but I’m also not interested in changing whats going on, based on how i got here.. or was already here… i dunno, I haven’t really defined it, nor am I overly interested in doing so.  There is some internal conflict still, but yeah, when you put my sentence in front of me, that is clearly incontinence.  However, this journey started many years ago and was not the result of untraining.  My urinary issues are most likely cause for the last few years I’ve simply gone in my diapers.  As previously mentioned I was having minor issues before I wore diapers.

I hope that clarifies things a bit

[Hannah YMS]

14 minutes ago, munkey said:

I hope that clarifies things a bit

It does, thanks! 

[Little Belle]

4 hours ago, munkey said:

Hey, I never set out to untrain as some have. However, as of recently I’m also only using my diapers.  Its been a slow regression but I’m also not interested in changing whats going on, based on how i got here.. or was already here… i dunno, I haven’t really defined it, nor am I overly interested in doing so.  There is some internal conflict still, but yeah, when you put my sentence in front of me, that is clearly incontinence.  However, this journey started many years ago and was not the result of untraining.  My urinary issues are most likely cause for the last few years I’ve simply gone in my diapers.  As previously mentioned I was having minor issues before I wore diapers.

I hope that clarifies things a bit

I never set out to untrain either but my level of incontinence before going 24/7 meant that I had to make some decisions which have inevitably lead to complete #1 incontinence. Once I decided I needed to wear nappies (not pull ups or pads which became useless) then I had to relinquish what was left of my ability to hold as you have to use your nappy for all #1s once it's on. That meant learning how to wet sitting, driving, walking, lying in bed; which felt like deliberately untraining and so it left me with a lot of conflict/guilt/doubt at first. 

Once I realised how much calmer and happier I was in nappies, I resolved those issues and became at peace with being permanently in them and my reasons for having had to actively untrain the last of my continence.

 

[munkey]

Yeah, its much easier to go in the diaper then not when wearing one!

[oznl]

On 1/23/2023 at 4:41 AM, munkey said:

Currently… I’ve been talking with random people who have chosen this life style. I also have tried testing my continence, diapered or not, I leak, so I’m diapered or padded all the time now.  I tried holding various times in January however, my ability to hold sucks, so no bothering anymore.  When it comes to making a stinky, I will be mindful of others, unless beyond my control.  Alone, I don’t care, that’s what my diaper is for. As for actively training, I dunno what it’s classified as to how I’m going an about my 24/7 journey. I do know that I’m making effort to prevent what is going on.  I also don’t quite believe I’m incontinent, open to opinions of others on that one. 

You're like me.  It's so much harder to fail when you don't have a specific objective ?  Just enjoy the ride.

[munkey]

I notice i had a typo “I do know that I’m making effort to prevent what is going on.” 

I notice I missed a word, “no effort to prevent what is going on” 

[munkey]

So have noticed if I have to pee, like you know when you really need to go.  If I try to hold it, it take all my concentration and I feel like I want to do the piddle dance to stop myself.  The urge is so strong! Its a good thing I’m diapered…. 1 week until my doctors appointment.

[Hannah YMS]

9 hours ago, munkey said:

So have noticed if I have to pee, like you know when you really need to go.  If I try to hold it, it take all my concentration and I feel like I want to do the piddle dance to stop myself.  The urge is so strong! Its a good thing I’m diapered…. 1 week until my doctors appointment.

Are you going to commit to wearing your diaper to your doctors appointment?

[munkey]

I wear diapers all the time, was diapered when at the hostpital for my UTI

[Hannah YMS]

1 hour ago, munkey said:

I wear diapers all the time, was diapered when at the hostpital for my UTI

Perfect then!

[munkey]

So I can say I don’t think my partner has an issue with my diapers… last night was fun, all I will disclose.  Doctors appointment is 5 days away.  I’m noticing when I’m around her my bladder goes shy, I end having to pee so bad it hurts and I have to that tapping on my abdomen to pee.  The shy bladder thing is really annoying to and very uncomfortable.  I almost wonder if I should bring it up, then maybe I my bladder wouldn’t be so shy?

[munkey]

So not too surprised, I’m going to be scheduled for more testing, however, I do have a prescription for northshore megamax filled out.  I also had him add Fecal incontinence to my medical chart as my last GP did not.

[DiaperboyEddie12]

@munkey  Awesome read here!  Thank you for the update.

[Hannah YMS]

12 hours ago, munkey said:

So not too surprised, I’m going to be scheduled for more testing, however, I do have a prescription for northshore megamax filled out.  I also had him add Fecal incontinence to my medical chart as my last GP did not.

Woohoo! Keep it up!

[munkey]

Thanks they started off with blood work and urine which happened today.  Its really interesting to be hold prescription for diapers.  Well, doctors know best, so diapers I shall wear.

[Hannah YMS]

15 minutes ago, munkey said:

Thanks they started off with blood work and urine which happened today.  Its really interesting to be hold prescription for diapers.  Well, doctors know best, so diapers I shall wear.

So they took urine and blood work samples today and still prescribed you diapers?

[munkey]

They are taking samples today and the doctor gave me a prescription for diapers.  However, I have a back story with FI and now I’m having a problem with urinary incontinence.    So i got a prescription so i can got back to my health insurance as well.

[Hannah YMS]

6 minutes ago, munkey said:

They are taking samples today and the doctor gave me a prescription for diapers.  However, I have a back story with FI and now I’m having a problem with urinary incontinence.    So i got a prescription so i can got back to my health insurance as well.

Fascinating. Hope all works out for you.

[munkey]

This amazing lady I am see accepts and is interacting with my little side. She bought me a Valentine’s Day gift.  I had mentioned wanting bath toys and last night I got some.  Then I had a bath and WE played with them. Later that evening she diapered me for the first time and we had a bonding experience.
 

I revisit the doctor in 3’ish weeks after some tests.

[Hannah YMS]

57 minutes ago, munkey said:

This amazing lady I am see accepts and is interacting with my little side. She bought me a Valentine’s Day gift.  I had mentioned wanting bath toys and last night I got some.  Then I had a bath and WE played with them. Later that evening she diapered me for the first time and we had a bonding experience.
 

I revisit the doctor in 3’ish weeks after some tests.

I think this is the start of an amazing experience for you. Me and my wife are both ABDLs. And throughout our 10 years of marriage I've always said, "ABDLs should marry ABDLs." Now you may be able to bring your partner into this lifestyle, and that's totally acceptable. But I still think it remains the fact. Have a lot of fun with it and explore all you can. That I think will bring you the most benefit.