Tired of the Stigma of wearing diapers

[Kawaharu]

Being an adult baby, diaper dependent and Incontinent, I'm so sick and tired of the stigma attached to wearing diapers. People in society associate diapers that only babies where and society never seems to understand that diapers are not just for babies, but also for anyone who has a medical, psychological or personal need. On top of that Society makes you feel weird, guilty and ashamed for wearing diapers. It's like society wants to shame you for wearing diapers and trying to solve a medical issue that you have. I know we're all different but at some point, people and society really have to stop with these old stereotypes, notions and beliefs about wearing diapers and the people who have to wear them. After all, this is 2022 and we are in the 21st century and those old stereotypes, notions and beliefs about wearing diapers belong in the 19th and 20th century.

When a theoretical physicist with ALS finds the will to live and embraces the technology to allow him to continue a stellar career, he is celebrated across the globe;

When a double-amputee track athlete wins an Olympic medal, the world looks on in awe.

When a blind man learns to play piano and sing, he becomes one of popular music's most enduring and beloved figures.

But when those of us with no/compromised bladder or bowel control find the right products to contain the situation, and also find the courage to wear them, we still live in the "incontinence closet", in fear that someone will "find out" that we have a medical problem. It is only we who can solve this inequity, not others. As so many here have said, few people in our lives would reject us because of this problem. The sooner we accept that for truth, the sooner we will be free of this long-held and deeply-damaging secret.

It's why being an adult baby, diaper dependent and incontinent, i'm sick and tired of all the diaper stigma's attached to being diapered and wearing diapers. I'm not ashamed, afraid or even scared of wearing diapers and knowing they help me deal with being incontinent. Being diapered and an adult baby is how i deal with the adult world and how i deal with being incontinent. It's why I'm at an age where I am comfortable in being diapered and not ashamed, afraid or humiliated for wearing diapers. It's time to end the stigma of wearing diapers and put those old stereotypes, notions and beliefs about wearing diapers back in the 19th and 20th century where they belong.

[DiaperboyEddie12]

@Kawaharu I totally agree with you.  I hate it when people judge another for what wear!  To me it’s none of their business why I’m wearing them. Or what ever else.  
 

I don’t judge other people.

 

I also don’t go out of my way to show them off couldn’t care less about that nonesense.

[wilbur]

While I can't relate with the whole incontinent thing, it still annoys me when people do that and I truly feel sorry for you being in this situation. Another thing is people who associate diaper loving with pedophilia, the most annoying type of people 

[feralfreak]

i think you make too much of it, ive worn diapers in public as a backup, because i was gonna be sleeping for trip or figured i would(me not driving) and never had an issue, ive worn around here, and in the next "town" over where the store is(and post office, banks, local diner, water office, gas station, its a very small area, more like a village) and never had an issue, no one even knew or if they did they didnt care, and i didnt care if they did care. at walfart today i passed a couple buying bladder underwear(pullon adult diapers) and there was no big deal. you wear the diaper, it dont wear you.

[Kawaharu]

That's why, being an adult baby and incontinent, I hate how society puts stigmas on those who wear diapers. People like me who wear diapers and wears them for medical reasons. I know their are some people who think being in diapers is a sick, fetish but some like me have medical reasons to wear them. At the same time, being an adult baby, it helps me cope and deal with being kept in diapers. I often think that people are still stuck in the 19th and 20th century old stereotypes, notions and beliefs about those who wear diapers, when we are in the 21st century and times have changed. 

[feralfreak]

13 hours ago, Kawaharu said:

That's why, being an adult baby and incontinent, I hate how society puts stigmas on those who wear diapers. People like me who wear diapers and wears them for medical reasons. I know their are some people who think being in diapers is a sick, fetish but some like me have medical reasons to wear them. At the same time, being an adult baby, it helps me cope and deal with being kept in diapers. I often think that people are still stuck in the 19th and 20th century old stereotypes, notions and beliefs about those who wear diapers, when we are in the 21st century and times have changed. 

im obviously missing something, i dont see the stereotype happening and ive worn out before, i doubt anyone noticed, but if someone does know or find out, i dont see the problem as long as you act with dignity which i have no reason to think that you arent.

[FretaBWet]

I don't understand. I'm full time but I've never had anyone comment on my diapers either positive or negative. I'm discreet but not obsessive about it. I wear Confidry 24/7's under jeans and shorts and if someone we're looking for it they could see I'm padded front or back.

In most every post you claim to be an adult baby and you're "kept" in diapers full time. Are people noticing and judgemental about your incontinence or is it that you are presenting in public as an adult baby? There is a world of difference between the two. I'm AB too so I'm not judgemental about it but I find myself wondering how you and I have such a different experience when we both go out diapered in public.

Hugs,

Freta

[~Brian~]

On 7/16/2022 at 1:21 PM, Kawaharu said:

That's why, being an adult baby and incontinent, I hate how society puts stigmas on those who wear diapers. People like me who wear diapers and wears them for medical reasons. I know their are some people who think being in diapers is a sick, fetish but some like me have medical reasons to wear them. At the same time, being an adult baby, it helps me cope and deal with being kept in diapers. I often think that people are still stuck in the 19th and 20th century old stereotypes, notions and beliefs about those who wear diapers, when we are in the 21st century and times have changed. 

@Kawaharu

as you know, both of us are wearing diapers for medical reasons. Society always has norms and beliefs, and they can change like flipping on or off a light switch. People who need to wear diapers for medical reasons, well wear diapers regardless of what someone believes, thinks, or says: part of the problem is that there are people who are still thinking the way they were probably 40 to 45 to 50 years ago: it is acceptable for our young child to wear diapers, and it is probably encourage to some extent, because some kids just don't train right away, so they have to deal with changing diapers a little bit longer than normal.

I have had friends that have to wear diapers for medical reasons just like us. My friend once was worried that someone was going to find out about him wearing diapers, and pick on him relentlessly. Using my experience, I told this friend of mine that wearing diapers is no big deal, and I asked him if he would rather be wet and uncomfortable and not wearing a diaper, or wearing a diaper and being dry and comfortable, and having someone taken care of that for him when it is necessary. He told me that he would rather be dry, but he was afraid that someone was going to give him grief, or judge him because he was wearing diapers.

I told him that I would not allow that to happen. I told him that there are several people in the world who need diapers because of the fact that they have reason, or they do not have control of their bladder or bowels, and as such diapers help them in many ways. I told him that if anyone gave him any grief because they found out he wore diapers, that they would have to deal with me. Remember that I said that my brother Richard wore diapers from the time he was born until 10 years old and his death: he had no choice, was nonverbal non mobile, and my mom took care of him like a baby- my family understood the diapers were necessary, and regardless of what happens, our family was very very supportive as two of us were disabled, and my aunt Julie was the 3rd.

For both of us, diapers are a normal part of our lives. It really doesn't matter what someone in society says thinks or does, because we will wear diapers regardless of what happens, and we will still need them regardless of what happens. There are others who decide to wear diapers because they like them, or because it provides them some sort of comfort: regardless of what happens, these people will continue to wear diapers, and they will continue to use them as they see fit. There will still be people out here that will still probably think that we're a little strange, but you and I both know that if we have to use our diapers we don't end up worrying about what someone else is going to see: if you have to use your diapers you use your diapers and that is that.

Stigmas can be broken, mines can be changed, beliefs can be changed, morals can be adjusted. Most of the people that I have dealt with since I started wearing diapers in 2020 have been very open very honest and very kind about it. They understand my reasoning, and I don't feel as if there's anything wrong with my decision, and my decision will stand regardless of what someone else will think what someone else will say what someone else believes or what norms dictate: part of the problem is that there are so many people out in the world that are so worried about what everybody else is doing that they're not worried about themselves. Sure you're going to run into something that you may not understand, but remember that I have been in rehab centers since the time I was seven years old, or hospitals, or places where it is acceptable, and encouraged, to wear these type of garments. What people have to know is that there would not be a reason to have diapers made if they didn't have a use. Diapers are going to be made for little kids, and they're going to be made for adults and for those that are disabled. This is always going to be the case from the time I was born until the time I die and then forevermore.  Most of my friends understand my reasoning and why I am doing what I have decided to do. I refused to hide behind anything any more. This means that I will wear diapers regardless of what someone thinks says or believes, and if necessary I will use them, or make sure that I don't have to use them while I am out.

I believe that most of the stigma is caused because and I will say this again and again and again: when we were kids, we wore diapers from the time we were born until we were approximately probably maybe five years old. During the time that we were potty training, our parents would teach us that wearing diapers was bad, being wet is uncomfortable, being dirty is yucky, and not only that can be inconvenient. The idea of potty training is to move a kid from the reliance on diapers towards a situation where they are not using them anymore and they are going to underwear. Once you get to that stage, unless you are a baby or disabled, people don't think that it is OK to be wearing diapers, because they think that if you're an adult or a bigger kid, that you have control of your bodily eliminations, so diapers are not necessary.  There are several times in my life that I wish that I could teach some of these people a lesson by snapping my fingers and making them have to experience what disabled people have to experience: wearing diapers because they don't have control, not being able to move without assistance, not being able to transfer from point A to point B, not being able to dress themselves, and other things that someone who is mobile and can take care of this stuff by themselves take for granted. There are people in the world that are going to wear diapers and it doesn't matter what the stigma is, but it still is there. My feeling is, that we have to educate people in the world, so they don't have negative connotations running through their heads when they see someone wearing a diaper. I've even seen kids with autism that are severe: one of them I follow on YouTube, and she uses diapers everyday and still uses a pacifier at almost 11. No one is going to give her family grief about that because of her disability, and that is a good thing, but for people who think diapers are bad, or have a negative connotation, this is because we have been ingrained and indoctrinated: we have been told all of our lives that diapers are used as little babies or toddlers, and once you end up getting the control, you don't need them anymore. Once you pass that stage, people have the idea that you shouldn't be wearing them or using them or liking them.

However we know here on DD that this Is NOT always the case. There are people who are adult babies, diaper lovers, adult kids, you name it, each of us are here because of diapers, and that is our common link. Me being a diaper lover, takes care of the feelings that I've always had since I was eight years old. Being that I am incontinent and disabled and have mobility difficulties, diapers have become my go to in many ways. Diapers help me with my incontinence, but they also help me deal with the feelings of guilt and the feeling that I like them. Now that I am incontinent, I don't have to hide it anymore, and diapers help me with the other feelings. Now that I have to wear diapers, I can satisfy all of the feelings that I have always had, and no one is going to tell me that my feelings are wrong bad or inappropriate. What you do in the privacy of your own home is your business. What you do in public can be seen by others in public, and always there will be individuals who think the way they think, and they're gonna think things we do are strange or weird or sick or anything like that. I say good for them, because they think that it is bad, and I also say this one of these days these individuals who have these stigmas may have to wear use or deal with diapers at some point in their lives. If and when this happens, certain people will understand what it is that others that wear diapers deal with. You and I deal with incontinence every day, and we have to make sure that we can change ourselves or deal with the situation in an appropriate manner. No one knows better than someone who is incontinent what it feels like to be that way, no one knows better than someone who is a diaper lover and how it feels to be that way. People will still have these idiosyncrasies in their head because of the fact that they have been driven into our heads hard as we ended up going from diapers to underwear. Parents want to train their kids to get out of diapers, and try to keep them out of them, so maybe some people do not understand why there are people who like diapers.

I have read many stories and talked to many individuals here on DD - I have heard from several individuals that some of the reasons why they like diapers or their diaper lovers is because they have been trained so early because their parents don't want them in diapers - because of this, people may be drawn to diapers or to equipment they used as a baby because they don't feel as if they had a chance to experience childhood because it was rushed. Being an adult, they can now experience childhood as an adult kid, or as an adult baby, and as such they wear diapers and use the equipment that they don't normally use.  

In short, diapers have their usage and there are reasons for existing, and people use them for their intended purposes. Some of them just wear for comfort, or because it feels good. I am sure there are many guys out there who wear their underwear for example, and they may go into their significant others underwear drawer and maybe pick up a pair and try them on or they may feel good when they have them on. Diapers are no different in my opinion than a guy who tries on a woman's underwear, finds it to be comfortable, and then decides to purchase more because it feels so good to them. Diapers have a purpose, in my mind diapers help me, and they also provide me a way to deal with the feelings that I've always had, that are never going anywhere because they're a part of me, and it doesn't matter what people think or say, because whatever I feel, whatever I'm dealing with, it makes no difference what they think because the situation will still be the way it is irregardless of their beliefs or intentions.

I say that you should not feel guilty or embarrassed or shamed or any of that: you know that you use diapers and you know you need them, you know that you are an adult baby, you know that you're not getting out of your diapers as you say, and you know that you are incontinent and use your diapers as intended. It really doesn't matter what someone else thinks: you're going to go to work, or go on duty for the auxiliary, and you're going to do things in your adult life in adult mode. Your diapers are there to help you, to protect you, to help you be a better person and live the life you want to live. If someone doesn't understand your lifestyle or our lifestyle, then sometimes it is up to us to explain it so that they understand it. Whether they accept it or not is going to be a different story, but nothing is going to change your need for diapers in more ways than one - yes, it would be awesome if we could take everyone's stigma about diaper wearing or using or our lifestyle or anything that deals with our kink/fetish, that people ascribe to negativity, have you throw it in a FedEx box and then mail it into space - if we could end up getting rid of all of the stigmas and the negative reactions and all of that, life would be awesome and the world would be a better place, because regardless of what happens you are going to have people that are going to have to wear diapers, and there are going to be people who feel guilty or feel bad because they need to wear diapers, and that's not going to change, but attitudes and beliefs can change - in my estimation, a stigma is something that is burned into our heads, and whatever is negative about wearing or using a particular product is a stigma. Most people in their lives want to be free of diapers, so thinking that someone's adult wears diapers may end up being somewhat of a shock to some people - but remember you and I and everyone else here on this system live their lives the way they want to live their lives, regardless of who they are what they are what they believe and irregardless of what people around them think. The idea is to surround yourself with people who are like minded, and to dump those who are negative minded or would end up being a drag to you. As far as I see it you have lived a pretty good life, know what you want to do, know what you need to do, and you have made the decision that makes sense to you. Regardless of what your decision or my decision will be, those are our decisions and they're not going to change. It took me over 24 years to get up the courage to be able to sign on to this board. I had been following it ever since I was 23, and that's a hell of a long time, but the people here always seem to understand what it is we deal with, and that is why when I had problems in 2019, I knew that I needed diapers, I knew that I needed help, and I knew that I should sign on here. Mikey can keep people out, ones that cause trouble, but unfortunately stigmas are going to be harder to do that with, but with education and patience, stigmas can be broken, minds can be changed, and beliefs and norms can be altered. I mean look at where we were 25 to 30 years ago: being gay lesbian transgendered or any of that was unheard of back then, and now it is almost mainstream and people understand it: rights have changed, and there are more people who understand what it is they are dealing with period if we could do the same thing with diapers as happens with gay lesbian and transgendered individuals, and people would accept that as mainstream, then we would have gone a long way. However, we have to come back to reality for a moment, and understand that there are a lot of people who do understand, and know of the stigma, and I don't like stigmas either, but we still have to deal with people who may not be as educated as others, and may have those beliefs. Diapers are no different than underwear, in that that is what your underwear is, and the fact that a diaper is a special kind of underwear, is something someone needs to understand and I know that you and others understand that.

I wouldn't worry about others too much: if they start giving you some grief, then you may have to say something, but as long as you are doing what you know to be right, what you're comfortable with, and you're doing it in an appropriate manner no one should care about whether you're wearing a diaper, underwear, a thong or whatever you wear - you will do whatever it is that you want to do, need to do, or have to do. This won't change: you'll still be wearing diapers and using them as necessary, and sometimes what helps is if people understand what goes on, they won't be so critical. However, there are going to be people who are going to think of us as different, so we just have to accept that there's going to be some people who see wearing diapers as something that they don't think is normal to them, but we know it is normal for us.

5 hours ago, FretaBWet said:

I don't understand. I'm full time but I've never had anyone comment on my diapers either positive or negative. I'm discreet but not obsessive about it. I wear Confidry 24/7's under jeans and shorts and if someone we're looking for it they could see I'm padded front or back.

In most every post you claim to be an adult baby and you're "kept" in diapers full time. Are people noticing and judgemental about your incontinence or is it that you are presenting in public as an adult baby? There is a world of difference between the two. I'm AB too so I'm not judgemental about it but I find myself wondering how you and I have such a different experience when we both go out diapered in public.

Hugs,

Freta

@FretaBWet

 I too have not had very many people comment about my condition while out in public. Because I use a wheelchair, I'm usually sitting most of the time, so wearing a diaper is easy to conceal.  I don't go out of my way to make it obvious that I am wearing a diaper, but I do wear and use them as intended, and if I have to and I have had to in the past, I usually make sure that I get done whatever I have to get done, and then return home. Being disabled, there are people that understand that people sometimes need protection or use diapers for their intended purposes. I've never had anyone that I can remember give me any negatives feedback about wearing diapers using diapers or having the feelings that I've had, but I have only disclosed this to people who I trust, because they don't want everyone to find out, because they may end up having a negative connotation, and then roll back into the stigma that @Kawaharu Talks about.

 I'm sure if someone were to have me stand up and look at me, they may end up seeing that I am wearing, but I don't think there's going to be any individual that I'm going to be running into that has me stand up and then is looking for it. If someone sees me, then they may know that I wear or use, but they also know that I am disabled and I have a reason. For that reason, I don't think very many individuals would think negatively of me, and those that probably do I would never tell them anything in the first place. Part of my reasoning for going 24/7 was because I did not want to deal with having accidents and worrying about it happening anytime anywhere. I was already washing underwear at an incredible rate, and it was getting out of hand, because my underwear would be a mess, and why do that when you can simply get a mega Max use it to its extent possible and then throw it away? A diaper is now my underwear, and it is my choice, as is wearing diapers for you and your partner are your choices.

 Me, like you I am not judgmental. If I were to meet someone who was living the lifestyle, I'm sure that I would have no problem with it. I do not judge people based on what I see on the outside: I've always known and looked for and looked at a person, in a way that allows me to concentrate on what is on the inside. You may have problems with your body, or you may have reasons for being who you are, but I always end up remembering that it is NOT IMPORTANT what you see on the outside, but you always try to look to see what is on the inside. Someone may not be, or think they are not pretty on the outside, but once you get to know an individual and where they stand and why, you may find that a person's inside, and the person itself on the inside is a lot different than what you see on the outside. It does not matter what you look like on the outside, but it matters what is on the inside.

 I go out diapered all the time: it is becoming a natural thing for me to do all the time, so much so that I don't even think about it, I just say need to change myself, need to go get this or that or whatever, and I do it in less than 10 minutes and I'm done. I then finished getting dressed throw some shoes on and then leave. It may take me a few more minutes in the morning to get ready, but because of the way I do it it doesn't take me that much longer, it just means that I have to do a few extra steps.  If people are going to judge someone else simply because they don't like something that someone does and that is the only judgment they make, then they may be missing out on something - I mean I'm a diaper lover, and I will admit it, and I am incontinent, and I admit it, but I don't end up worrying so much, because I know what's going on, I know what I need, I understand what I'm dealing with, and I'm sure there are people who are empathetic and understanding of my situation, and the situations of others. A diaper is not something that should be stigmatized: it is a device that is used to help you be as active as you can be even if you suffer or deal with incontinence:  @Kawaharu Says her diapers are like a shield, protecting her, and yes diapers are like that: I don't see in my area anyway, people going out in full garb as an AB, but that does not mean that it probably hasn't happened. I have seen ladies that seem to be walking around in lounge pajamas and slippers when it is 35 degrees outside and the ground is snow covered: I would never do that because uh I have a conscience, and I would think that would be an inappropriate way to dress, but I don't judge people because of them being incontinent or disabled, because that is something that they cannot help, diapers help her perform her functions in the community, and remind her of security and safety at all times from a stressful world that sometimes forgets people have issues and problems. Some people wear diapers because it reminds them of times in the past when they don't and did not have any responsibilities, and could do anything and do it at anytime. The only thing was, that you are rules were set for you, and you had to work within the rules and timeframes set. People come full circle, and feel a lot better sometimes if they regress, but irregardless of that, I don't judge people because of what they are or who they are. There are different ways to make judgments of people based on things that matter. Does someone have a good attitude, are they fun to be around, do they have an open mind, do they like what you like, do they love you for who you are and what you are or what your situation is? If you can find someone like that, then you're golden. I know there are people in this world who understand what it means to wear diapers use diapers or to be incontinent, and there are people who understand this because being disabled, sometimes you cannot help your situation.

 I don't know if I would ever find someone like that, but that is the type of person that I'm looking for: there is no reason to worry so much about what people are thinking and doing, unless they are the type of individuals who would take information and use it against you, or pick on you, or make you feel bad. No one should be made to feel this way because of disability or incontinence or need to wear diapers, because it happens - no one should be forbidden or made fun of because they want to wear diapers or because it makes them feel good, or makes them feel safe - there are plenty of people around me that understand my reasoning, and accept it, so I worry about the ones in my circle, the ones that are closest to me, and ones that understand what is going on, and I don't worry about those who think negatively of me, because that drags me down.

 As they say, JUST DO IT!  But remember to do it responsibly in an  appropriate manner so as not to draw undo attention to yourself that could be taken in a negative light. Sometimes I think some of the individuals who may think negatively do not understand that there are advantages to wearing diapers, and there are times when it's fun to just know that you have one on and you don't have to worry so much. I go to work daily with a diaper on and I can tell you that it has been a lifesaver for me when there has been a line for the bathroom, and I don't think I've even gone to the bathroom at work unless I am changing for the last three to four years, because my diaper can usually hold out and I can change at home. Not worried about what would happen, because I'm prepared and the ones that I deal with and work with already know of my situation so there's nothing to worry about.

*****Hugs****

Brian

Edited July 17, 2022 by ~Brian~
word edits

[Kawaharu]

On 7/17/2022 at 12:11 PM, ~Brian~ said:

@Kawaharu

as you know, both of us are wearing diapers for medical reasons. Society always has norms and beliefs, and they can change like flipping on or off a light switch. People who need to wear diapers for medical reasons, well wear diapers regardless of what someone believes, thinks, or says: part of the problem is that there are people who are still thinking the way they were probably 40 to 45 to 50 years ago: it is acceptable for our young child to wear diapers, and it is probably encourage to some extent, because some kids just don't train right away, so they have to deal with changing diapers a little bit longer than normal.

I have had friends that have to wear diapers for medical reasons just like us. My friend once was worried that someone was going to find out about him wearing diapers, and pick on him relentlessly. Using my experience, I told this friend of mine that wearing diapers is no big deal, and I asked him if he would rather be wet and uncomfortable and not wearing a diaper, or wearing a diaper and being dry and comfortable, and having someone taken care of that for him when it is necessary. He told me that he would rather be dry, but he was afraid that someone was going to give him grief, or judge him because he was wearing diapers.

I told him that I would not allow that to happen. I told him that there are several people in the world who need diapers because of the fact that they have reason, or they do not have control of their bladder or bowels, and as such diapers help them in many ways. I told him that if anyone gave him any grief because they found out he wore diapers, that they would have to deal with me. Remember that I said that my brother Richard wore diapers from the time he was born until 10 years old and his death: he had no choice, was nonverbal non mobile, and my mom took care of him like a baby- my family understood the diapers were necessary, and regardless of what happens, our family was very very supportive as two of us were disabled, and my aunt Julie was the 3rd.

For both of us, diapers are a normal part of our lives. It really doesn't matter what someone in society says thinks or does, because we will wear diapers regardless of what happens, and we will still need them regardless of what happens. There are others who decide to wear diapers because they like them, or because it provides them some sort of comfort: regardless of what happens, these people will continue to wear diapers, and they will continue to use them as they see fit. There will still be people out here that will still probably think that we're a little strange, but you and I both know that if we have to use our diapers we don't end up worrying about what someone else is going to see: if you have to use your diapers you use your diapers and that is that.

Stigmas can be broken, mines can be changed, beliefs can be changed, morals can be adjusted. Most of the people that I have dealt with since I started wearing diapers in 2020 have been very open very honest and very kind about it. They understand my reasoning, and I don't feel as if there's anything wrong with my decision, and my decision will stand regardless of what someone else will think what someone else will say what someone else believes or what norms dictate: part of the problem is that there are so many people out in the world that are so worried about what everybody else is doing that they're not worried about themselves. Sure you're going to run into something that you may not understand, but remember that I have been in rehab centers since the time I was seven years old, or hospitals, or places where it is acceptable, and encouraged, to wear these type of garments. What people have to know is that there would not be a reason to have diapers made if they didn't have a use. Diapers are going to be made for little kids, and they're going to be made for adults and for those that are disabled. This is always going to be the case from the time I was born until the time I die and then forevermore.  Most of my friends understand my reasoning and why I am doing what I have decided to do. I refused to hide behind anything any more. This means that I will wear diapers regardless of what someone thinks says or believes, and if necessary I will use them, or make sure that I don't have to use them while I am out.

I believe that most of the stigma is caused because and I will say this again and again and again: when we were kids, we wore diapers from the time we were born until we were approximately probably maybe five years old. During the time that we were potty training, our parents would teach us that wearing diapers was bad, being wet is uncomfortable, being dirty is yucky, and not only that can be inconvenient. The idea of potty training is to move a kid from the reliance on diapers towards a situation where they are not using them anymore and they are going to underwear. Once you get to that stage, unless you are a baby or disabled, people don't think that it is OK to be wearing diapers, because they think that if you're an adult or a bigger kid, that you have control of your bodily eliminations, so diapers are not necessary.  There are several times in my life that I wish that I could teach some of these people a lesson by snapping my fingers and making them have to experience what disabled people have to experience: wearing diapers because they don't have control, not being able to move without assistance, not being able to transfer from point A to point B, not being able to dress themselves, and other things that someone who is mobile and can take care of this stuff by themselves take for granted. There are people in the world that are going to wear diapers and it doesn't matter what the stigma is, but it still is there. My feeling is, that we have to educate people in the world, so they don't have negative connotations running through their heads when they see someone wearing a diaper. I've even seen kids with autism that are severe: one of them I follow on YouTube, and she uses diapers everyday and still uses a pacifier at almost 11. No one is going to give her family grief about that because of her disability, and that is a good thing, but for people who think diapers are bad, or have a negative connotation, this is because we have been ingrained and indoctrinated: we have been told all of our lives that diapers are used as little babies or toddlers, and once you end up getting the control, you don't need them anymore. Once you pass that stage, people have the idea that you shouldn't be wearing them or using them or liking them.

However we know here on DD that this Is NOT always the case. There are people who are adult babies, diaper lovers, adult kids, you name it, each of us are here because of diapers, and that is our common link. Me being a diaper lover, takes care of the feelings that I've always had since I was eight years old. Being that I am incontinent and disabled and have mobility difficulties, diapers have become my go to in many ways. Diapers help me with my incontinence, but they also help me deal with the feelings of guilt and the feeling that I like them. Now that I am incontinent, I don't have to hide it anymore, and diapers help me with the other feelings. Now that I have to wear diapers, I can satisfy all of the feelings that I have always had, and no one is going to tell me that my feelings are wrong bad or inappropriate. What you do in the privacy of your own home is your business. What you do in public can be seen by others in public, and always there will be individuals who think the way they think, and they're gonna think things we do are strange or weird or sick or anything like that. I say good for them, because they think that it is bad, and I also say this one of these days these individuals who have these stigmas may have to wear use or deal with diapers at some point in their lives. If and when this happens, certain people will understand what it is that others that wear diapers deal with. You and I deal with incontinence every day, and we have to make sure that we can change ourselves or deal with the situation in an appropriate manner. No one knows better than someone who is incontinent what it feels like to be that way, no one knows better than someone who is a diaper lover and how it feels to be that way. People will still have these idiosyncrasies in their head because of the fact that they have been driven into our heads hard as we ended up going from diapers to underwear. Parents want to train their kids to get out of diapers, and try to keep them out of them, so maybe some people do not understand why there are people who like diapers.

I have read many stories and talked to many individuals here on DD - I have heard from several individuals that some of the reasons why they like diapers or their diaper lovers is because they have been trained so early because their parents don't want them in diapers - because of this, people may be drawn to diapers or to equipment they used as a baby because they don't feel as if they had a chance to experience childhood because it was rushed. Being an adult, they can now experience childhood as an adult kid, or as an adult baby, and as such they wear diapers and use the equipment that they don't normally use.  

In short, diapers have their usage and there are reasons for existing, and people use them for their intended purposes. Some of them just wear for comfort, or because it feels good. I am sure there are many guys out there who wear their underwear for example, and they may go into their significant others underwear drawer and maybe pick up a pair and try them on or they may feel good when they have them on. Diapers are no different in my opinion than a guy who tries on a woman's underwear, finds it to be comfortable, and then decides to purchase more because it feels so good to them. Diapers have a purpose, in my mind diapers help me, and they also provide me a way to deal with the feelings that I've always had, that are never going anywhere because they're a part of me, and it doesn't matter what people think or say, because whatever I feel, whatever I'm dealing with, it makes no difference what they think because the situation will still be the way it is irregardless of their beliefs or intentions.

I say that you should not feel guilty or embarrassed or shamed or any of that: you know that you use diapers and you know you need them, you know that you are an adult baby, you know that you're not getting out of your diapers as you say, and you know that you are incontinent and use your diapers as intended. It really doesn't matter what someone else thinks: you're going to go to work, or go on duty for the auxiliary, and you're going to do things in your adult life in adult mode. Your diapers are there to help you, to protect you, to help you be a better person and live the life you want to live. If someone doesn't understand your lifestyle or our lifestyle, then sometimes it is up to us to explain it so that they understand it. Whether they accept it or not is going to be a different story, but nothing is going to change your need for diapers in more ways than one - yes, it would be awesome if we could take everyone's stigma about diaper wearing or using or our lifestyle or anything that deals with our kink/fetish, that people ascribe to negativity, have you throw it in a FedEx box and then mail it into space - if we could end up getting rid of all of the stigmas and the negative reactions and all of that, life would be awesome and the world would be a better place, because regardless of what happens you are going to have people that are going to have to wear diapers, and there are going to be people who feel guilty or feel bad because they need to wear diapers, and that's not going to change, but attitudes and beliefs can change - in my estimation, a stigma is something that is burned into our heads, and whatever is negative about wearing or using a particular product is a stigma. Most people in their lives want to be free of diapers, so thinking that someone's adult wears diapers may end up being somewhat of a shock to some people - but remember you and I and everyone else here on this system live their lives the way they want to live their lives, regardless of who they are what they are what they believe and irregardless of what people around them think. The idea is to surround yourself with people who are like minded, and to dump those who are negative minded or would end up being a drag to you. As far as I see it you have lived a pretty good life, know what you want to do, know what you need to do, and you have made the decision that makes sense to you. Regardless of what your decision or my decision will be, those are our decisions and they're not going to change. It took me over 24 years to get up the courage to be able to sign on to this board. I had been following it ever since I was 23, and that's a hell of a long time, but the people here always seem to understand what it is we deal with, and that is why when I had problems in 2019, I knew that I needed diapers, I knew that I needed help, and I knew that I should sign on here. Mikey can keep people out, ones that cause trouble, but unfortunately stigmas are going to be harder to do that with, but with education and patience, stigmas can be broken, minds can be changed, and beliefs and norms can be altered. I mean look at where we were 25 to 30 years ago: being gay lesbian transgendered or any of that was unheard of back then, and now it is almost mainstream and people understand it: rights have changed, and there are more people who understand what it is they are dealing with period if we could do the same thing with diapers as happens with gay lesbian and transgendered individuals, and people would accept that as mainstream, then we would have gone a long way. However, we have to come back to reality for a moment, and understand that there are a lot of people who do understand, and know of the stigma, and I don't like stigmas either, but we still have to deal with people who may not be as educated as others, and may have those beliefs. Diapers are no different than underwear, in that that is what your underwear is, and the fact that a diaper is a special kind of underwear, is something someone needs to understand and I know that you and others understand that.

I wouldn't worry about others too much: if they start giving you some grief, then you may have to say something, but as long as you are doing what you know to be right, what you're comfortable with, and you're doing it in an appropriate manner no one should care about whether you're wearing a diaper, underwear, a thong or whatever you wear - you will do whatever it is that you want to do, need to do, or have to do. This won't change: you'll still be wearing diapers and using them as necessary, and sometimes what helps is if people understand what goes on, they won't be so critical. However, there are going to be people who are going to think of us as different, so we just have to accept that there's going to be some people who see wearing diapers as something that they don't think is normal to them, but we know it is normal for us.

@FretaBWet

 I too have not had very many people comment about my condition while out in public. Because I use a wheelchair, I'm usually sitting most of the time, so wearing a diaper is easy to conceal.  I don't go out of my way to make it obvious that I am wearing a diaper, but I do wear and use them as intended, and if I have to and I have had to in the past, I usually make sure that I get done whatever I have to get done, and then return home. Being disabled, there are people that understand that people sometimes need protection or use diapers for their intended purposes. I've never had anyone that I can remember give me any negatives feedback about wearing diapers using diapers or having the feelings that I've had, but I have only disclosed this to people who I trust, because they don't want everyone to find out, because they may end up having a negative connotation, and then roll back into the stigma that @Kawaharu Talks about.

 I'm sure if someone were to have me stand up and look at me, they may end up seeing that I am wearing, but I don't think there's going to be any individual that I'm going to be running into that has me stand up and then is looking for it. If someone sees me, then they may know that I wear or use, but they also know that I am disabled and I have a reason. For that reason, I don't think very many individuals would think negatively of me, and those that probably do I would never tell them anything in the first place. Part of my reasoning for going 24/7 was because I did not want to deal with having accidents and worrying about it happening anytime anywhere. I was already washing underwear at an incredible rate, and it was getting out of hand, because my underwear would be a mess, and why do that when you can simply get a mega Max use it to its extent possible and then throw it away? A diaper is now my underwear, and it is my choice, as is wearing diapers for you and your partner are your choices.

 Me, like you I am not judgmental. If I were to meet someone who was living the lifestyle, I'm sure that I would have no problem with it. I do not judge people based on what I see on the outside: I've always known and looked for and looked at a person, in a way that allows me to concentrate on what is on the inside. You may have problems with your body, or you may have reasons for being who you are, but I always end up remembering that it is NOT IMPORTANT what you see on the outside, but you always try to look to see what is on the inside. Someone may not be, or think they are not pretty on the outside, but once you get to know an individual and where they stand and why, you may find that a person's inside, and the person itself on the inside is a lot different than what you see on the outside. It does not matter what you look like on the outside, but it matters what is on the inside.

 I go out diapered all the time: it is becoming a natural thing for me to do all the time, so much so that I don't even think about it, I just say need to change myself, need to go get this or that or whatever, and I do it in less than 10 minutes and I'm done. I then finished getting dressed throw some shoes on and then leave. It may take me a few more minutes in the morning to get ready, but because of the way I do it it doesn't take me that much longer, it just means that I have to do a few extra steps.  If people are going to judge someone else simply because they don't like something that someone does and that is the only judgment they make, then they may be missing out on something - I mean I'm a diaper lover, and I will admit it, and I am incontinent, and I admit it, but I don't end up worrying so much, because I know what's going on, I know what I need, I understand what I'm dealing with, and I'm sure there are people who are empathetic and understanding of my situation, and the situations of others. A diaper is not something that should be stigmatized: it is a device that is used to help you be as active as you can be even if you suffer or deal with incontinence:  @Kawaharu Says her diapers are like a shield, protecting her, and yes diapers are like that: I don't see in my area anyway, people going out in full garb as an AB, but that does not mean that it probably hasn't happened. I have seen ladies that seem to be walking around in lounge pajamas and slippers when it is 35 degrees outside and the ground is snow covered: I would never do that because uh I have a conscience, and I would think that would be an inappropriate way to dress, but I don't judge people because of them being incontinent or disabled, because that is something that they cannot help, diapers help her perform her functions in the community, and remind her of security and safety at all times from a stressful world that sometimes forgets people have issues and problems. Some people wear diapers because it reminds them of times in the past when they don't and did not have any responsibilities, and could do anything and do it at anytime. The only thing was, that you are rules were set for you, and you had to work within the rules and timeframes set. People come full circle, and feel a lot better sometimes if they regress, but irregardless of that, I don't judge people because of what they are or who they are. There are different ways to make judgments of people based on things that matter. Does someone have a good attitude, are they fun to be around, do they have an open mind, do they like what you like, do they love you for who you are and what you are or what your situation is? If you can find someone like that, then you're golden. I know there are people in this world who understand what it means to wear diapers use diapers or to be incontinent, and there are people who understand this because being disabled, sometimes you cannot help your situation.

 I don't know if I would ever find someone like that, but that is the type of person that I'm looking for: there is no reason to worry so much about what people are thinking and doing, unless they are the type of individuals who would take information and use it against you, or pick on you, or make you feel bad. No one should be made to feel this way because of disability or incontinence or need to wear diapers, because it happens - no one should be forbidden or made fun of because they want to wear diapers or because it makes them feel good, or makes them feel safe - there are plenty of people around me that understand my reasoning, and accept it, so I worry about the ones in my circle, the ones that are closest to me, and ones that understand what is going on, and I don't worry about those who think negatively of me, because that drags me down.

 As they say, JUST DO IT!  But remember to do it responsibly in an  appropriate manner so as not to draw undo attention to yourself that could be taken in a negative light. Sometimes I think some of the individuals who may think negatively do not understand that there are advantages to wearing diapers, and there are times when it's fun to just know that you have one on and you don't have to worry so much. I go to work daily with a diaper on and I can tell you that it has been a lifesaver for me when there has been a line for the bathroom, and I don't think I've even gone to the bathroom at work unless I am changing for the last three to four years, because my diaper can usually hold out and I can change at home. Not worried about what would happen, because I'm prepared and the ones that I deal with and work with already know of my situation so there's nothing to worry about.

*****Hugs****

Brian

Being an adult baby and Incontinent, I'm so sick of the stigmas attached to being in diapers. Diapers to me helps me deal with the adult world in my own way and helps me deal with being incontinent and my adult babyhood. They are not harming anyone else and diapers are helping me stay safe, secure, padded and comforted in my diapers. Diapers simply let me have an adult babyhood instead of an adulthood.

The stigmas I see everyday is when people don't understand why I have a diaper bag and why I am in just a diaper and a t-shirt or onesie on. Even why I am not potty trained like them or using the potty like them. Even when I am around the house, I see the stigmas about me being diapered around people and other people who don't understand why I am diapered and why I am not potty trained.

[feralfreak]

when you say diaper bag, do you mean like an actual one for babies or something that just holds supplies, like a backpack? do you have baby things in it that someone passing by can see, or see you using? i understand you dont like a stigma about being abdl, and you arent hurting anyone, you have a right to do as you please so long as no one gets hurt, plus you being a vet, you earned it, but is there some middle ground, or something you can say to leave a better taste in the mouths of those you have questions from such as "im incontinent" on the diapers, and "its cute" on the diaperbag? could you stop and take a moment and educate someone? i imagine that you might have termed to abdl  after your time in the service(if i recall i thin you said you served, but not what branch), ive never served, but i can only imagine the hells you had to see, perhaps there might be a chance to help someone to understand, and to be reminded of the bible passage "judge not, lest you be judged", matthew 7:1.

[eatenbywo1ves]

Broaching "stigmas" or w/e etc....

We let ourselves get pegged into this normative view, either crowd source people to horny jail for those that need it or its gonna stay the same if not worse.

[Kawaharu]

3 hours ago, feralfreak said:

when you say diaper bag, do you mean like an actual one for babies or something that just holds supplies, like a backpack? do you have baby things in it that someone passing by can see, or see you using? i understand you dont like a stigma about being abdl, and you arent hurting anyone, you have a right to do as you please so long as no one gets hurt, plus you being a vet, you earned it, but is there some middle ground, or something you can say to leave a better taste in the mouths of those you have questions from such as "im incontinent" on the diapers, and "its cute" on the diaperbag? could you stop and take a moment and educate someone? i imagine that you might have termed to abdl  after your time in the service(if i recall i thin you said you served, but not what branch), ive never served, but i can only imagine the hells you had to see, perhaps there might be a chance to help someone to understand, and to be reminded of the bible passage "judge not, lest you be judged", matthew 7:1.

I have a regular tactical day bag that acts as my diaper bag. I do educate people about incontinence a lot because the population is getting older and more people are starting to have incontinent issues at a lot younger age. On top of that, vets coming out of the military with incontinent issues from service related injuries.  
 

For me, being an adult baby helps me deal with being incontinent and being kept in diapers permanently. It’s a way to cope with being diapered permanently and being padded like a baby. 

[feralfreak]

12 hours ago, Kawaharu said:

I have a regular tactical day bag that acts as my diaper bag. I do educate people about incontinence a lot because the population is getting older and more people are starting to have incontinent issues at a lot younger age. On top of that, vets coming out of the military with incontinent issues from service related injuries.  
 

For me, being an adult baby helps me deal with being incontinent and being kept in diapers permanently. It’s a way to cope with being diapered permanently and being padded like a baby. 

not a thing wrong with the adult baby thing, if it helps you, it helps you, any who dont like it can suck it.