Sophie ♥ Posted May 10, 2021 Share Posted May 10, 2021 And we're back! Another new story with diapers and gender stuff and a bit of incest! But, like always, great characters and lots of emotions. You know it's not a Sophie & Pudding story if you make it through without tearing up. Thanks to all our patrons at www.patreon.com/sophieandpudding who support us! This story is already complete on on there if you are impatient babies. ^_~ You can also find every story we've ever written in PDF and ePUB format. ❤️ As always, comments and likes are great motivations to keep posting our stuff for free! Thank you all for reading! -------------------- Disclaimers: diapers, incest, oral, wetting -------------------- Lanny & HaydenBy Sophie & Pudding 1.) I was sure that the word 'interesting' would be forever burned into my brother’s brain after today. It would become the word that made him tighten up and wince whenever he heard it. 'Interesting', as innocuous a word as it was, had been the only thing that I'd said when I had walked in on Hayden. I said it with a smile, of course, that sort of amused little smile that carries a lot of confidence. Then I closed the door. And it was interesting, because it wasn't often I found out something new about my twin. I sat down on the sofa in the common room and waited for him to march out with some manner of excuse. My heart was racing. I quickly threw everything back into the locked chest under my bed. Old clothes, I'd always told Landon. Fuck, fuck, fuck. I'd kept it secret for nine years, the only real secret I had from my brother. Maybe this wasn't so bad... but Landon wasn't that type of boy. Landon was outlandish and vibrant. He wasn't the "secret-keeping" type. I had no cover story. I had nothing to say to my brother when I made it out into our common room, so I decided to waste what little life he had left with my incessant babbling. "Long story," I said with a blush. "There's this thing in my Behavioral Sciences class, and it's just... it's a weird way to handle the essay, but... I didn't feel like I was writing... very adequately." Adequately was a good word... "You know, if you'd walked in on Lanny, I would almost certainly use that exact same excuse." I grinned. He knew I didn't believe him for a moment, and once he was rational he'd realize I really didn't care either. I did care about one thing though, one little thing that got to me - our synergy. We did everything the same, everything together. We cherished the twin experience much more than most other twins our age. We’d even shared a girlfriend once. "It's not an excuse," I said defensively, and it was only through my knowledge of psychology that I knew to uncross my arms and make eye contact. My cheeks were still red. "And what are you talking about Lanny? Another new girlfriend? You shouldn't keep secrets from your brother, you know." Displacement. "So it's two in the afternoon, which means you didn’t wet the bed again, like when you were ten." When we were ten, and our bedwetting to be fair. "Spill. I want to know everything." My cheeks burned brighter at the mention of the weeks of our past neither of us were particularly proud of. Of course, pride was a strange concept to Landon, and he made sure never to let shame get in the way of anything. On the other hand, there was me. "I have a class to get to." Which wasn't inherently true. I had an hour and a half. I picked my backpack up off the floor of our dorm room and slipped my shoes on my feet. As soon as Hayden got his feet into his shoes I was standing. By the time he realized that I was, he was sitting. Well, sitting insofar as I'd pushed him down onto the sofa and crawled up to straddle his lap, one knee on the sofa on either side. "Spill. Or I'll Inticklegate you." Inticklegation was a remnant game of our childhood that essentially played out with one of us tickling the other until the other revealed their secrets. I rolled my eyes and pushed my brother off me. "I told you. It was for a class. If you don't believe me, then I don't really care." I did care, but he didn't need to know that. I fitted my shoe back on my foot, my cheeks still red, and gathered my belongings again. It wasn't until I was out of the house that I leaned against the stairwell and ran my fingers through my hair. Fuck. What now...? The fact that he'd lied to me and hadn't buckled under the weight of my playfulness meant this was something very serious and I resolved that I'd make it better by the time he got back. Maybe I'd have to introduce him to Lanny sooner than expected. I stressed over our synergy a lot that afternoon, but we could always resynchronize. Link to comment
Sophie ♥ Posted May 10, 2021 Author Share Posted May 10, 2021 ...also all the chapters aren't this short. >_< I dunno why I edited it like this. Link to comment
Kaleros Posted May 10, 2021 Share Posted May 10, 2021 I like the sibling dynamic that you have established between the twins. I wonder what secret Hayden is hiding from his twin? Link to comment
Sophie ♥ Posted May 10, 2021 Author Share Posted May 10, 2021 21 minutes ago, Kaleros said: I like the sibling dynamic that you have established between the twins. I wonder what secret Hayden is hiding from his twin? Thank you! Lots more on their relationship to come! Link to comment
Sophie ♥ Posted May 12, 2021 Author Share Posted May 12, 2021 On 5/10/2021 at 7:01 PM, Hopsalot said: As an identical twin I’m always intrigued to find a story that features twins. That being said the incest bit that always seems to come up with twin diaper stories is always a tad unnerving for me. I don’t know if I’ll be following this story for that reason, but I’m sure it’ll be well written as always. There are some good twists you might enjoy, actually! But also some scenes I'm sure you will not like at all. XD Link to comment
Sophie ♥ Posted May 13, 2021 Author Share Posted May 13, 2021 2.) "So what's the deal? Lunch without Landon?" Hannah ate one of the fries from the plate between the two of them as Hayden played with his fingers. There was trouble, clearly. "Wanna talk about it?" "Nothing to talk about," I said with a frown. Hannah was without Oliver too, which seemed just as notable as Landon's absence. I didn't mention it. I didn't want to talk about anything. Hannah kept eating my fries. I let her. "He's being an ass. He’ll get over it, and I'll go home." Class had ended two hours ago. "You still didn't tell me what he did. I don't get it. You two never fight." It seemed surreal to Hannah, who grew up with three siblings who always fought. Maybe it was a boy vs girl thing. "Anyway, you can crash with me tonight if you want. Ollie is out of town seeing his parents." Not that it mattered - Oliver didn't see either of the twins as a threat for his girlfriend’s affections anyway. "Thanks for the offer Hannah, but I really should get home." I put my head against Hannah’s shoulder before taking her hand in mine. She was probably the only girl we regularly spent our time with that Landon or I hadn't dated. I climbed up from the table and started the trek back to my dorm room in the late evening light. I was laying in Hayden's bed when the door opened and I hoped he'd be more willing to talk this time. We both feared the kind of talk that all siblings inevitably had - about boundaries, and differences and all that stuff. Those talks were the Big Bad Wolf to us, and we always reassured one-another that they would never happen. This, today... this might have been one of the days it could happen. I trusted Hayden though, more than I could ever trust anybody. We'd talk. That's all. Landon was already lying on my bed. I knew he wanted to talk about what happened, but I had nothing more to say. I'd given him my word, and that was that. I sat down on the edge of my bed and leaned against the wall. "Did you go to class?" He wouldn't have. "You shouldn't skip, you know. I'm not going to be able to take your tests for you." "I know you don't want to talk about it. Maybe you will one day and that's okay. Just..." What? Don't lie to me? I guess that had hurt the most, but he already felt bad and I wasn't going to make it worse. What was I really upset about? I'd spent a lot of time thinking about it, and I finally just spat it out. "I'm worried for our synergy." "Oh, not this again..." I puffed out my cheeks and looked down at my brother. "We're the most synergized people in the whole universe, Landon! Nothing's going to get in the way of that. Not some stupid school assignment. I'm embarrassed, okay? I just really don't want to talk about it, because I felt stupid, and then you walked in, and... I'm embarrassed. Please don't be worried." "You left the chest unlocked. Something got caught in it and stopped it from closing. So I opened it." I let my inflection to the rest of the explanation. He wasn't going to be happy. "I'm worried for our synergy because there's this whole part of you I don't know anything about. And I want to." I climbed off the bed in a fury, my whole body shaking and tears starting at the corners of my eyes. He did not. "Who the fuck gave you permission to go through any of my stuff, Landon! It doesn't... doesn't fucking matter anything about anything! This is my room and you leave my stuff alone!" Which was, of course, never an issue before. I never thought… I was always careful. I was in a hurry. Fuck, fuck, fuck. "You’re the one that’s keeping things from me!" We were both standing now, both yelling. I didn't like it. I didn't like it at all. It never happened, not like this. I knew he was feeling sick if I was. I had to stop this. Had to stop this before it went too far. So I pushed him down on the bed and climbed on top of him, pinning him down by his wrists. "Stop. Talking." "Get the fuck off me, Landon!" I did my best to do it myself, to throw him off the same way I had on the couch that afternoon, but he wouldn't have any of it. His weight was shifted against my wrists and I felt my fingers going numb. I whimpered at the tingling and the tears dripped down my cheeks and onto my hair. "GET. OFF." "Hayden! Listen. You're being really dumb. When have we ever kept secrets from each other? I was the one you told when you started wetting the bed. I was the one you told when you thought you had a crush on Joseph. I was the one you told when you accidentally shop-lifted and thought Mom would disown you. We tell each other everything. Why is this so different? Are you ashamed...? You don't need to be. You're my brother, Hayden... I love you. You don't have to be alone in this..." I kept crying, though the words and struggles had stopped. I looked away from Landon at the wall beside me and waited until he'd freed my wrists. He didn't say anything and didn't move off my stomach. I crossed my arms over my chest and kept crying. I felt so pathetic... "I don't know what's wrong with me... I don't want to... I mean, I..." "Nothing is wrong with you. There's no wrong, there's just different and different is just another way of saying special." I ran my thumbs up each of my twin’s cheeks one at a time, wiping away the tears that had streaked the pretty soft skin of his face. "Help me to understand, so I can be a part of this. Please?" Landon had finally let me up, let me sit with my knees curled to my chest and my back to the headboard. I told him as much as I could stomach, from when I was ten and curious, and when I was thirteen and bought pull-ups from the store. I mentioned a few sites, but I tried not to think about it too much. I mentioned how much I hated that I liked it, but I just couldn't help it. In the end, I told him a lot. Not everything, but a lot. And by then, the sky was dark. "You've held onto this inside for a long time, Hayden..." I felt ill too, but my malady was more to do with the fact I hadn't been here to help him with this sooner. No time to mope though, no time to waste on regrets. The present was a gift, after all. "I don't want you to hate it anymore. And I want to be a part of this now, okay?" "No." I said it very plainly, a frown on my face. "I don't want to like it, and I don't want you involved. Part of me was always really embarrassed to tell you, sure, but another part was worried about this. If you thought this was just another thing to share..." I bit my lip and looked away. "Please? I don't want to like it..." "I'll make you a deal." I didn't really know what I was doing. "Tonight I want you to let me be a part of this. If you still don't want me to be by the time we sleep, I don't ever have to mention it again." "I don't want to do this, Landon. I'm not in the mood. I'm actually very out of the mood, which... I guess is good. Maybe telling you was good. Maybe now I won't like it..." I bit my lip and curled my knees tighter to my chest. This was all so strange, even for us... Okay, so it was fair to say I didn't know anything about any of this. I didn't know if it was physical or sexual or emotional. I didn't know very much how to appeal to my brother’s interests and there was a bigger chance than not that I would only make things worse. So much worse. But it was Hayden, so I had to try, didn't I? It was my job as the older twin to help him make the right choices - and I did that a lot, too. We had our synergy, but nobody would deny that Hayden was a little more the follower type when it came to the two of us. "I want to try something. And you're going to let me. Because one day I might have a secret to tell you, and I'd want to know that you trust me with yours." "What...?" But Landon had already climbed off my bed and pulled the trunk out from beneath it. I quickly dashed to the edge of the bed, determined to keep him from opening it again. "Hey, stop!" But the second I'd gotten my footing, which was, admittedly, very poor, Landon had pushed me back to the bed again and returned to the chest. "Landon!" We'd both done drama as our elective in high-school - who wanted to do wood-shop anyway? - and I got into the headspace of a character pretty quickly. Daddy? No, creepy. Mommy? Well... not yet. Babysitter? Yes. Okay. I can work with that. "Hayden O'Neil. It is far past your bedtime and you're still not ready for bed? Your parents did warn me that you could be troublesome." I felt so stupid, but I wanted to make this work. For Hayden. "I swear, for a six year old you sometimes act more like a three year old." I started to laugh. Landon looked down at me with a frown - a serious one, too - and I shook my head. The laughing wouldn't cease. "Hey... hey, I'm talking to you!" "Oh god.." "Hayden!" The laughing finally came to a close and I looked up at my brother with fresh tears on my cheeks. "You're an idiot." "Well I don't know!" I wasn't offended, just a bit embarrassed and that was a fleeting feeling when it came to my brother. "I'm just trying to help." I pouted. Full pout. Arms crossed. But a little smile sneaking its way onto my lips as Hayden looked at me and started laughing anew. "You didn't give me much to work with, you know." "Can we just... lay down?" Landon looked at me a little strangely and I threw him a tired smile. "I'm just not very awake anymore, not after all that..." My brother nodded, relented, and climbed back into bed. I'd throw all that stuff out in the morning, but for now, it didn't matter. I just wanted to sleep... I laid next to Hayden in his bed, shimmying down under the covers of the twin. We didn't often share a bed, but we were twins and thusly could both fit pretty nice into the aptly sized bed. "Hayden..." He was already started to drift off, though, and I kissed his cheek. "I have a secret, too. And I want to tell you. But I can't right now." His eyes were closed and I wasn't sure if he'd even heard me, but that was okay. I wasn't ready anyway. --------------- Thank you for reading! Like, Comment, and check us out on Patreon! 1 Link to comment
diaperpt Posted May 14, 2021 Share Posted May 14, 2021 This is going to be an interesting story. They each have a secret they've held even with the twin-be-honest-with-each-other thing going on. You've given us a sense of what each of the secrets is, but there's got to be a lot of development to fill in all the details. I've got no sense of the whole twin thing other than kind of a weak stereotype of what it might be. So that part of the story will be interesting to me. I'm not crazy about the incest part of it, but it won't bother me enough to keep me away. Link to comment
Sophie ♥ Posted May 14, 2021 Author Share Posted May 14, 2021 3.) I woke up second. Whenever we slept together, Landon would usually wake me up in getting out of bed, but today was different. I climbed out of bed with a frown, my brother nowhere to be seen, and followed the path to the bathroom to prepare for the day. I had morning classes, and that thought kept me distracted far beyond our dorm, so much so that I didn't notice my chest missing from my bedroom floor. "How did things go with Landon when you got home last night?" Hannah had that 'I've only had two coffees this morning' look on her face that half-resembled death and she yawned, not bothering to cup her mouth as she did so. They shared a morning class. "Fine, I guess. I mean, I think it's blown over." Hannah wasn't a morning person. It surprised me that she'd taken this morning class in the first place, but it was this or Saturdays. Hannah would never give up a Saturday. "That’s cool. That's your brother though; Lanny's pretty cool about most things." Hannah was the only person who used that affectionate nickname and she only ever used it with Landon too. But that didn't explain to her why Hayden stopped walking when she said it. "You okay?" "Lanny...?" Hannah looked awkwardly at me and I shook my head. No... it couldn't be... "That's what you call Landon, right?" There had to be another Lanny. Popular girl's name. Kind of. "I think he pulled a prank on me or something, yesterday..." "A prank? What did he say?" Hannah yawned again and took a piece of gum in her mouth if for no other reason than to keep herself from falling back asleep as they waited outside the lecture hall - they were both early, which wasn't too surprising - nobody at this school seemed to value punctuality. "Oh, it was..." What was it? "We were talking about some stupid thing I did, and he talked about walking in on Lanny, you know, like it was a person. So either he's got a new girlfriend named Lanny or he was just being an ass." I liked to think more of my brother, but pranks really were up his alley. "Maybe you should talk to him about it? Sometimes people use jokes to bring up sensitive topics in a ‘testing the waters’ kind of way." The door opened from the inside and Hannah shrugged her shoulders, leading the way into the large hall to find a seat. It was probably a little too profound for Hannah, but it made me curious nonetheless. But I had a full day of classes that Thursday, so it wasn't until late that evening I had a chance to see my brother again. He was in his room when I got home, the door closed. Maybe he had a girl over... "Landon! I'm home!" It was a little while before I called out from my bedroom in response - far too long for my normal pattern - and it was a short answer too. "Okay." And then a few more minutes after that before I opened the door to my room only enough to slip out of, then closed it again. "Hey you. How was school?” "Fine. You have someone over?" I nodded toward the bedroom but Landon shook his head. "Is it Lanny?" Landon smiled and shook his head again. I bit my lip and turned from the door to my brother. "Hey... um... I wanted to ask you something. You know how Hannah calls you Lanny? I was just wondering if, like, what you said yesterday was a joke or something." "You want to order some pizza? I'm famished..." Pizza was an infallible deflection technique and I already had my phone in my hands, having completely skipped out on the question. "Dominos or Jets?" I knew it would bother him for a time to have been shut out, but I wasn't ready just yet. "I... uh... I don't care..." I bit my lip and pulled my legs up onto the couch. Why deflect that question? What did that solve? But maybe Hannah was right. Maybe there was something else. I waited until Landon was off the phone. "You can tell me, if you want... I'm not mad or anything..." "I don't have a girl over," I grinned and rolled my eyes as I typed out the order onto the app on my phone. We were habitual when it came to pizza and our order never changed, not in the entire length of our lives. "What's with you? Something on your mind?" "No, I just..." I shook my head and smiled up at my brother. "Nothing, sorry. Hannah's just stupid sometimes, and she got me thinking about nonsense. Anyway, what do you want to do tonight? Oliver's back, or we could stay in." Of course there was nothing mysterious. Gosh, Hannah was so dense. "We could go to Oliver’s and hang out if you want?" I looked at my closed bedroom door - a door which was never closed, and then at Hayden with a smile. We preferred to have people over whenever possible. For me to suggest we go out to Oliver’s was mildly out of character. "I... uh... sure, but... we just ordered pizza, so..." I looked up at Landon a little strangely. Going to Oliver's? And right after we'd ordered food? Something clearly wasn't right. I looked over at Landon's closed door and back toward my brother. "Why is the door closed?" "You want to watch something on Netflix?" That deflection was a little more indiscrete and I motioned to the TV with the remote, a little strain in my voice. "I mean, until pizza gets here. And then we could go to Oliver’s for the night and hang out, that sounds good." "Landon, seriously, what's up? You're all skittish, and that's kind of my job. If you start taking all my lovely personality traits..." Of course, we could replicate each other at the drop of a hat. Was that what this was? A game? I shook my head and stood up off the couch. "What's going on. I want to know." "It's a surprise." Actually, it was a plan that had become less and less a good idea the more it had evolved and now was in my bedroom laid out on the bed in two neat piles. But I couldn't bring myself to do it, not tonight, not now. And that was unlike me because I was usually so damn confident about everything. Maybe last night had shaken me up. "Well... well tell me!" I didn't like surprises, Landon knew that. I felt my cheeks puff out the same way they had since I was little, the way Landon mocked me for, and I crossed my arms. "I mean it! I'm tired of you acting all weird, and I acted weird yesterday, so can we just have one not-weird night here? "I was going to share a secret with you." ‘Share’ in this case was very literal - share a secret as in make him a part of it and not just divulge the information. "And I was okay with it... up until about half an hour ago when I started to think about how ashamed you were of your secret and then that started to creep up inside me like 'what if Hayden is ashamed of my secret, too' and then I started to get ashamed and..." "You're never ashamed of anything," I said with a little smile. He had a secret? But we didn't keep secrets... of course, I'd broken that for nine years now, hadn't I? I shook my head and looked down at the floor. "Tell me. I won't be ashamed. I promise..." "I don't like that we keep secrets. It sucks. It makes me feel like I've got... like... food poisoning or something." That sense of overarching malady was a very apt descriptor and I looked at the bedroom door. I wanted this. I'd wanted it for a long long time, and I knew that when I told Hayden he'd do it too, because that's what we did. But after last night... "Then tell me..." I looked up at my brother, though we were the same height, and did my best to smile. What secret could he have kept from me? Was it for nine years? I felt so ill, so unbearably ill... "Please... I... I don't feel right knowing you... you're keeping stuff. I know that's stupid, I just... please?" "If I tell you, you have to be more open with your stuff too. Because it's how you reacted when I found out about that... is why I feel so blah about my thing..." Despite the muddle of words, Hayden knew I wasn't assigning blame to him - I was just pointing out the variables at work. "You have to promise no more self-loathing, because we both have these things we kept from each other and if you hate on yours, I'm going to feel like I have to hate mine. 'Cause you know... synergy." I thought it was stupid, honestly. Landon's idea of synergy seemed so out there, like it was a mystical force, but everything just fell in so naturally. We never worked for it. And now, all of a sudden, it felt like we were, and that upset me. But if it made Landon happy, what could I do? "Okay. I'll see what I can do. Promise." "Pinky promise." The fact that our supreme level of commitment and promise happened to be associated with a portmanteau of our two secrets made me smile. It had always been this way too. I wondered if it was because it made us each equally happy in our own secret little ways. "And no more secrets... ever... okay? Secrets are poison and gross..." "Yeah, no more secrets." I smiled a little warmly at my brother and locked pinkies with him. Maybe this wasn't so bad after all. He knew about my strange interest, and I'd learn about his. Even if I had to indulge in mine sometimes, maybe we could help each other. This was a good thing. --------------- Thank you for reading! Like, Comment, and check us out on Patreon! 1 Link to comment
Sophie ♥ Posted May 15, 2021 Author Share Posted May 15, 2021 4.) "Come with me..." I took my brother’s hand in mine and went to my bedroom door, opening it. On the bed, laid out, were two outfits. Two girls’ outfits, very obviously so even to someone who didn't pay obsessive attention to what girls our age tended to wear. They were everything I owned, really - I owned a few more bits and pieces, but keeping this a secret had meant it had taken a long time to get even those two outfits. "I want to be a girl." And there it was, out in the open. "Um... okay..." He wanted to be a girl. My twin brother wanted to be a girl. Was that a thing? Was that even so strange? I wanted to wear a damn diaper, and being a girl seemed a hell of a lot more normal. I nodded my head a little and smiled at my brother. "That's okay. I'll support whatever you want.""And I want you to be, too. Because I don't want to be lop-sided weird-twins." 'Cause this was so much less weird than that. "I... wait, what?" Suddenly the two outfits on the bed, nearly identical, seemed to take on a whole new meaning. It was true we dressed the same. We liked to mess with people's heads. But this... "Oh, um... Landon, I... I really don't know. I mean..." "You know that little girls get to wear a lot more fun stuff than little boys too." That comment was a gamble, because I really only had the contents of his trunk to go on and I didn't know much about my brother’s interests yet. But I mean... diapers and pacifiers and stuff and the footed sleeper pajamas... I considered it to be a fairly safe bet. "Pretty dresses... you know there's a site I saw online that sells that sort of stuff in adult sizes, too." I felt the heat come to my cheeks like a light bulb left on too long and I immediately looked down at my feet. "Landon..." He wasn't wrong. I'd seen a lot of boys online dressed like girls, but Landon's interests seemed to differ. He didn't want to be a little kid like me. I bit hard on my lip and tried to think of something to say. He was introspective in that way he got when he thought there was an obstacle and I smirked, cupping my twin’s chin. "I want you to be a girl with me. And I want to be a little girl with you sometimes. Because then we'll have balance and synergy and everything will be easy again." He looked at me a little confused and I rolled my eyes. "You think you get to have an interest and have me not want to try it? Has that ever been a thing, dummy?” The almost childish dialogue between the two of us was certainly new. I didn't think it would have such an impact on me as it did and I tried to break free of the headspace Landon's words were slipping me into. I took a deep breath and did my best to smile. "I know. Um. I just... I thought we were going to... work on making this less of a thing...""That's silly. Why would we want to make something so adorable less of a thing? Gosh." There were a few words that I reserved for my Lanny headspace that were making themselves known - words that seemed to have some manner of impact on Hayden as well. Girls and babies weren't altogether that different socially, when you got down to it. I bit hard on my lip and shook my head. "But Landon— " The boy put his finger to my lips and sat me down on the edge of his bed. I felt stupid with all this talk of baby things and being cute, so much so I nearly forgot the sets of clothes next to me. "Landon, I..." "Lanny. If that's okay. It's what I call myself in my head when I think about this stuff..." I nodded to the clothes on the bed. Hayden was good for a girl’s name as is - a fact I'd found myself envious of a number of times. "So... how about we... get dressed. In these clothes. With diapers underneath. And then eat pizza and watch anime all night." I'd never worn a diaper in my adult life before - I knew he had them, obviously, I'd catalogued his entire chest - but I wanted to normalize it. My cheeks went scarlet and I tried to stand back up. Landon put his hands on my shoulders and pushed me back down again. "Landon! I'm n—" "Lanny." "...Lanny. I'm not doing that. Alright, if... if you want to dress up like sissies, me and you, here in the apartment, that's alright. I don't mind, alright? But..." I thought about the diapers, about the way I felt, and... I shook my head, burning up. "Anyway, I don't even have any but the one... and I threw it out." "Yes you do. In your chest. You have two different types, a pack of each, though I don't know the difference." He just looked at me dumbfounded and I grinned guiltily. "Every time you've come close to finding out about my girl stuff, I've thrown everything out in a panic. I figured after last night you might react the same, so..." I motioned to my closet to the left, with my brother’s chest inside. "That's mine!" I climbed up from the bed, my cheeks still as red as they were. I tried to remember back to this morning, if the chest was still there, or if he'd already taken it. I felt so foolish. I grabbed the edge of the chest and started pulling it out of the closet. I stood behind my brother, wrapped my arms around his tummy from behind, and put my head on his shoulder. "Hayden... please? We want to be able to enjoy our things together, right? Please. I'll let you put my diaper on me. Would you like that?" I didn't know if he would - I didn't know if it was strictly related to himself or if he liked the idea of others too, but it was worth a try. "Then I could put yours on you - with your help - and then we could get dressed and go eat pizza. Doesn't that sound... nice?" "No, Landon, it doesn't sound nice!" I'd seen my brother naked. It kind of came with the territory, I guess. And he'd seen me naked, too. But the idea of... and I just... I couldn't. I dropped the chest back to the floor and turned to face Landon, the blush still burning holes in my cheeks. "This is scary... I just... I just wanna go watch TV and not worry about it... please...?" And almost as if on cue, the doorbell rang. "No purging, okay? No throwing any stuff out. Promise?" I held up my pinky as the qualifier for letting him off the hook this time. He linked fingers with me and then quickly left my room to go and pay for the pizza at the door. I wasn't going to lie. I didn't understand the appeal in his fetish at all. But I mean, I wanted to learn and that's a thing. Right? The whole evening was awkward. I thought a lot about his side of things, his wanting to wear girl's clothes, and I did have to admit a level of appeal. Not interest, not really, but definitely appeal. I started to think about those boys in dresses again, the ones online, and then I had to excuse myself for a cold shower before bed. We didn't cuddle that night. I put my two outfits away and looked at my brother’s chest at the bottom of my closet, smiling faintly. He knew now. About Lanny. And I knew about his stuff. And that was a start, wasn't it? I decided to treat myself to my one nightgown I owned and slipped under my covers, yawning. All good things take time, right? --------------- Thank you for reading! Like, Comment, and check us out on Patreon! 2 Link to comment
diaperpt Posted May 16, 2021 Share Posted May 16, 2021 I love the dynamic of "Let's not have any secrets between us," as each also says, "Yes. Except for..." And now there's no "Except for...," just a lot of discomfort for Hayden. Link to comment
Sophie ♥ Posted May 18, 2021 Author Share Posted May 18, 2021 5.) Friday classes came and went. I only had one in the morning and Landon had one in the afternoon. We didn't talk until I got home, when Landon should have been leaving. "Come on." "What?" "We're going." "You have class." "In the car, hop to it." It wasn't until I'd sat myself in the passenger seat that I bothered to ask: "Where are we going?" "We're going on a drive and we won't be back until Sunday. I packed for you. Your iPod is in the glove compartment." Bam. Checkmate. "I... what?" I looked at the back seat of the car and saw a duffel bag stuffed under the seat. "You can't just tell me we're going away for the weekend, Landon!" But this wasn't the first time he'd done it, either. I leaned back in my chair and frowned. I wasn't as worried about his packing - we always wore the same clothes anyway. "I made a playlist on your iPod: Follow-up songs to one-hit wonder girl bands, 1987-1989." I grinned. Obscure playlists like that were something of a thing for us and the more obtuse the better. Hayden's last one had been 'Bands who's singers had died from choking on their own puke' and had been an amazing cross-section of 1960's and 1970's rock. My distain didn't last long at all, and especially after I realized where we were going. Landon had jumped on the interstate going north, and it wasn't until we passed the mall that I noticed. "We're going to visit Marie." There was nothing else this far north. "Yup." Marie held the current record for ‘someone who had known us the longest and wasn’t direct family’. We met in daycare when we were four years old and was the sort of friend who was cemented in permanency. She went to a different college than us, but that didn’t change anything. We listened to music the entire way, though we'd decided to switch spots just outside her university. Landon nearly always drove, and this gave us a very good chance to mess with Marie. We'd both dated Marie at one point, but she never knew which one of us it was. It was a very interesting psychological experiment, and that was the only reason I went along with it. "Her school is so much nicer than ours." It was something we always noticed when we visited and it was usually Hayden who pointed it out with a little pout. I did my best to be Hayden and pouted appropriately. Her dorm building was at the far end of the campus and we got to drive past the far-too-pretty buildings on the way with a large sense of envy. "Well, if we weren't such crappy students - and of course, by that, I mean if I wasn't such a crappy student and you weren't such an amazing brother - then we could go somewhere like this." Truth of the matter was, I was an amazing student. Landon, however... "Obviously you just have other things on your mind, like day-dreaming about the skirt the girl in front of you is wearing, or wondering how you'll ever tell your wonderful brother that you're a girl deep down inside." Despite the fact we had a lot of fun with it, switching into one-another’s personas was actually a great way to reflect on our own thought processes. I felt a little blush on my cheeks, certainly not very Landon, and ran my hand through my hair the way he does. Gosh, I felt silly, but he really did pull off an amazing Hayden. I couldn't break the cycle. I climbed out of the car when we'd stopped it beside Marie's pine green two-door Focus. "No no, I'll get the bags. You're clearly too young." The joke felt awkward on my tongue and I felt myself blush again. Fuck. I had to work on that. I grinned coyly and bit my lip, very Hayden-esque, and let my brother take the heavy duffel bag while I took the lighter backpack. I'd definitely over-packed for the weekend, but I did want to be prepared. Marie's room was mercifully on the first floor on the dorm building, so at least we weren't walking very far. We both stopped outside Marie's door. I made sure to prop the bag up on my shoulder the way Landon liked to and brushed my bangs out of my eyes. Landon was a half-step behind me, and I knocked. Marie was a sweet girl, if anything. She was adventurous, a lot like Hannah, but much more reserved. She wasn't crude - she just liked to have fun. She was probably my favorite friend. "Hey you two!" She grinned a sort of bubbly smile that you wouldn't typically find on a girl her age and she stepped back to let the two boys inside. "Wow, you packed all that for a weekend? Gawd, you two pack like girls. Alright. You can put your stuff in Em's room - she's away for the weekend." With Emma away and a whole weekend at our disposal, this could turn out even more perfect than I could have hoped for - my stomach was churning with butterflies. "Hayden packed," I said, rolling my eyes. "He can't go anywhere without his makeup, can he?" The blush on Landon's face was so convincing I wasn't sure my joke had actually gotten to him or not. He stuck out his tongue the way I do and we both made our way inside. The blush was characteristic of Hayden, but it was very real for me. I made sure to avoid eye-contact as I took the duffel from my brother and went into Emma's room. Marie smiled at the boy in front of her whom she presumed to be Landon and rocked on the back of her feet. "So does he know I know? Or should I act surprised when you tell me...?" Her tones were hushed in that very clearly 'this is a secret!' way. "Does he know?" It wasn't often Landon's life and mine were so separated I had to ask questions like this. Typically I would roll with it just fine, but this was too... vague. "You know. That you... you know. Want to be a girl." "YOU TOLD MARIE BEFORE ME?!" Landon poked his head out of Emma's room with a smile and I dropped the duffel bag with a frown. "Seriously?! I'm your damn brother!""I told her this morning! After I told you." I puffed out my cheeks. The jig was clearly up now, which was a shame - I should have thought about the Marie factor a little harder. Oh well. "Besides, Marie didn't call me a little sissy like you did!" Marie crossed her arms. "Are you calling Lanny a sissy, mister? Because you know you're going to be the same as her now, so I guess you're calling yourself a little sissy, too." I was laughing, Hayden was blushing, Marie was grinning. This was our dynamic. I plopped the duffel bag down in the living room and made my way straight to Emma's bedroom, slamming the door and leaving the other two alone. I really didn't expect this. Damn, I hated surprises. I got comfortable on Emma's bed and looked up at the ceiling. Was I a sissy now? No... I was just a good brother, that's all... "Hey..." Marie peered her head in the door and then closed it behind her, siting down on the bed next to Hayden. "I'm sorry, it was sucky of me to tease you like that. I know this is hard. I mean, hard enough when someone you love tells you that they're going to be a girl, right? But then that's someone that you've built your whole life around being the same as. Talk to me? You know I'll listen." I sat up straight and looked at Marie with a small smile. "I'm not upset or anything. It's just weird, and I don't know what to do. I don't really mind it, I don't think. People dress up all the time, like all kinds of things..." Babies, for example. "I'm okay with it..." "Are you going to be a girl, too? With Land-... Lanny? I know you two like being the same, and I think that's what this trip is about. Lanny wants to be able to spend some time as a girl with you in a place that isn't where you live." Marie took the boy’s hand in hers and smiled. "Can I paint your nails? I bet Lanny would feel a lot better about all this if she could see you taking steps on your own, too." "I... wait, what? Spending time as a girl... at a place..." I shook my head, entirely confused. "He doesn't mean here. He doesn't mean here?! What's wrong with our apartment?! I said we could! I said so and he just! Ugh!" Marie took my hand and pulled me into one of those awkward sideways friend's hugs. "He's such an idiot!" "He's been sitting on this for most of his life, unable to tell anybody. Now that you know, he wants to be able to enjoy it." Marie smiled and continued. "Can you imagine what it must be like... to have that secret? For that long? Wouldn't you want to just immerse yourself in it the moment you realize you can tell someone you trust and they don't hate you for it?" "I guess... yeah..." I thought about two days prior, and all the kind words between my brother and I after he'd walked in on me. I let out a little sigh and put my head on Marie's shoulder. "I still don't understand why here is so much better than our place..." "Because here you don't have to worry about visitors or interruptions. You're off the grid for a few days. It was my idea..." The girl held up Hayden’s hand again and nodded to it. "Let me do your nails while we talk, okay?" Emma had more nail polish pots than braincells. I looked down at my nails and then up at Marie. I still didn't understand any of this, but if it made Landon happy... "You have to do Landon's the same. Our rules and all." But she knew all that. We couldn't have any distinguishing characteristics. Marie got up and picked out a baby pastel pink polish from the little army of colors - something that someone might miss at a glance, but that the boys would notice without a doubt. She sat back down and began to assess Hayden's nails for any imperfections before she began. "You're amazing, Hayden. So many people that feel like Lanny does don't have anybody. The suicide rate is so damn high it's so scary. But you... you're just incredible. You're here and you're supportive and it's just... beautiful. You're beautiful. Both of you." "People that feel like..." So it was common then? Whatever my brother was going through? I thought about all the boys online, all the dresses they wore, and decided that my brother was much more attractive. He was, after all, my twin. "People kill themselves about it...? You don't think Landon will... do you?" I wouldn't know what to do if he did... "Not when he has you, Hayden. He's so lucky." She unscrewed the polish and began to paint his nails. She'd teach him, at a later time, but now was more focused on conversation. "No matter what happens now, he knows you're there. He can't ever lose everything because he'll always have you. Get it?" I nodded my head, trying to let her words sooth me. They didn't do a very good job, but the way the light pink polish shined off my fingers surely did. I never liked painted nails, not really, but it was the color. I suddenly felt so small, albeit a bit feminine. Maybe this... this wasn't so bad... "You're her buffer." Marie smiled as she watched the boy staring at his nails, his cheeks a little warm in response. Maybe he wasn't only doing it for Lanny - maybe Hayden felt the same way? She resolved to help them out regardless. "Don't let your nails touch anything until they're dry, okay?" "Yeah..." I looked down at the wet nails as they shined and did my best not to touch anything at all. I looked inherently silly, I supposed, but what did it matter? "You should do Landon's. I'll be fine on my own in here. I just want to think." "Okay. You come out when you're ready, okay?" Marie stood up and smiled. "Oh, Hayden...? I think she'd like it if you called her Lanny while we're here. I know it’s difficult and I mess up too. But I want to make her as comfortable as possible, okay?" She re-fastened the lid to the nail polish and tucked it into her hand as she left the bedroom. I thought a lot about it, my brother and his fixation. He'd so openly accepted mine, but I demanded nothing of him. Still, there were so many boys just like him, all those boys online, and all with high suicide rates. What did it matter if I played dress up sometimes? I didn't hate it. And it was like Landon - or Lanny - said: if it doesn't hurt me and it helps him, then why not? --------------- Thank you for reading! Like, Comment, and check us out on Patreon! 3 Link to comment
YourFNF Posted May 18, 2021 Share Posted May 18, 2021 The brothers seems confused but like generally has the spirit? Link to comment
Sophie ♥ Posted May 18, 2021 Author Share Posted May 18, 2021 6.) Marie spent the next little while painting my nails. She showed me how, which was really sweet and made my head swim a little. I mean, I'd watched videos online! But this was wonderful. Like an older sister. By the time the door to Emma's room opened and Hayden emerged, my nails were done and I was sitting with my legs crossed on the sofa like a girl, talking to Marie about outfits and stuff I really wanted to wear. "Hey sis. You feeling better?" My voice was chipper and bright and I held up my nails for him to see. I should have expected the 'sis' comment, but it still caught me off guard. I bit my lip and curled up on the sofa next to Marie, Landon looking across the couch at me. I smiled. "I'm okay... sorry about being dramatic. You know how I am." I rolled my eyes, but a lot of the humor never made it to my eyes. "It's my fault, I should have told you. I am sooooo sorry." I did my best to ensure that my Lanny speech patterns weren't mocking or drawing attention. "I was talking about clothes with Marie. She says that we should go shopping and buy some more because we'll be sharing a wardrobe." "Um... right... that sounds nice." It didn't, but it certainly wasn't a big deal. I knew I was being a sourpuss and it wasn't fair on Marie or Landon. So I took a deep breath and smiled, a real smile, and looked at my brother. "Yeah. Let's go shopping." "Really?!" I expected that he'd protest and complain and whine and pout and the fact that he didn't just made me swell up with happiness. I stood up and threw my arms around my twin, cuddling up to him on the sofa in gratitude. "You're the best sister in the whole wide world, you know that?" "Yeah, probably..." I smiled a bit and looked over at Marie. She smiled back. So that was it - we'd made our evening plans. It was already four in the afternoon, so we only had a few hours left to shop. Still, I wasn't going to be the one pushing us out the door. I didn't like the idea of wandering the girls’ stores at the mall. "What time do the stores close here, Marie? We need time to get dressed up properly. Um..." "You don't own any makeup, do you?" "Nuhuh." "Bra?" "Nuhuh." "Shoot. I guess I can play you two off as twelve year old girls. That'll explain the flat chest. And I have plenty of makeup. You're lucky you're each only half a person." I smiled at Hayden, whose eyes had gone very distant when Marie had mentioned passing us off as pre-teens. It was better than the seething panic from a few moments before! I was lost in my head. It wasn't until Marie grabbed my wrist and pulled me into her bedroom with my brother that I realized what was going on. Actually, even then, it took until my brother was changing out of his clothes before I really noticed. "No! Absolutely not! Are you crazy! No! Landon, no!" "Lanny," Marie corrected. I took a step toward my brother and put my hands on his cheeks. "What do you think will draw more attention? Twin boys looking at girls clothes all afternoon, or twin girls looking at girls clothes all afternoon?" "She's right, Hayden. This is the best way to blend in." "Please? For me? I'll do anything...?" "No! Absolutely not! This is an inside thing! You don't see me wearing..." I bit my lip and looked up at Marie, then back at my brother. "This stays inside. I'll dress up with you and do whatever you want - I promise - but that's only in our apartment, or Marie's. If you go out like that you're going to get your ass kicked or something!" "You don't think people will ever look at me and see a girl...?" All three of us went silent and I looked down, my hands falling away from my brothers face like deflated balloons as I turned around, trying to keep myself together. If he didn't even believe in me, I... "I..." Marie looked at me sharply and wrapped her arms around my brother. I shook my head. "This is... this is silly! I didn't do anything wrong! Don't look at me like that!" Marie turned my brother away from me and I felt my heart race. "I didn't do anything!" "You told her that you thought people would beat her up. How do you think that makes her feel, Hayden...?" Marie looked into my eyes and did her best to wipe back the tears on my cheeks as I started to talk as best I could. "You're right... Hayden... I'll never be... people will just see me and want to beat me up..." "Hayden June O'Neill. You come over here right this minute and apologize to your sister. Now." I'd never heard Marie be so... authoritative. Like a parent. It was very unexpected. "I... I didn't do anything..." I suddenly felt really bad. Landon was crying. He was crying because of me. I did something. I didn't understand though - I knew him perfectly. He didn't cry. I had never made him cry... "She's wanted to be able to do this her entire life, Hayden. And you just told her if she did, people wouldn't see a girl. They'd see a freak and try to beat her up. This is hard for her. Remember what we talked about? What happens with other girls like her? You have to be the strong one. So get over here and be strong for her." "I... I didn't know..." I came over to Marie, to my br...er... sister. I put my arms around them both since Landon - er, Lanny - wouldn't let me hug him by myself. I felt so rotten. "I thought you just meant... dress up, like me, you know... I'm so sorry, Lan...ny. Come on. I bet Marie can make us look really pretty." "Do... do you want to... with me?" I rubbed my eyes and sniffled, my streaked cheeks and red-puffy eyes, looking very childish. "I jus' dun' want you being scared an' embarrassed an'... tha's why we came out here because we don' know anybody out here..." Marie continued to play with my hair as I wiped my eyes on her shoulder, then reached out my hand to take Hayden's as a show of trust, our finger nails matching perfectly as I intertwined my fingers with his. I put my hand in Landon's. I think I finally understood why we were all the way out here, and it wasn't for him. It was for me. I bit my lip and wrapped my arms around my brother a little tighter. "Of course. Marie will make us both very pretty, and we'll go buy clothes." I managed a smile as best I could and then pulled slowly away from Marie and let my twin hold me. Marie took a step back from the two of us and smiled. "You two are so cute together..." Seeing Lanny cry had been something very new to Marie, but she'd taken it in stride - certainly better than Hayden had, at least! Landon and I were not tall boys. Marie was taller than the both of us. That came with being twins, we assumed. We were also surprisingly feminine. Facial hair still - at nineteen - hadn't started to grow, though we both had leg hair. Our faces were round and young. With the exceptions of maybe our eyebrows and haircut, we looked altogether girly. Still, Marie had her work cut out for her. She had only one set of headbands that matched, and we had to coordinate our outfits around it. In the end, with makeup, our hair slightly styled, and outfits near-identical, we leaned far more toward the girl side of the androgyny scale. We stood together in the mirror, my hand in Hayden's as I gigged and bounced slightly back and forth from the balls of my feet to the heels. I don't think I'd ever been happier. We were gorgeous. Not even Hayden could deny it. "Hayden... you're so beautiful. I have the prettiest sister in the whole world." Marie grinned, proud of her word as she picked through her cardigans looking for something to wear for herself now. We wouldn't be thought of as boys, as far as I could tell. The whole process took an upwards of two hours for both my brother and I, between hair styling and eyebrow shaping. I was not a happy camper. "Can we just go and get this over with?" "Oh don't be pouty, little sis." I was the older one, after all. "You look amazing. And we're going to get really pretty clothes and..." Marie had stepped out to go to the bathroom. "You know there's a medical outlet place at the mall we're going do? I looked it up on my phone earlier. Wonder if you'd be able to find anything of interest there..." I left him with that thought as I wandered out into the living room. --------------- Thank you for reading! Like, Comment, and check us out on Patreon! 3 Link to comment
diaperpt Posted May 19, 2021 Share Posted May 19, 2021 Hmmm... I wonder. Pretty soon twins in cute dresses and thick diapers? Lanny is being pretty generous with Hayden, but then as Lanny said, 4 hours ago, Sophie ♥ said: I don't think I'd ever been happier. Link to comment
Little Lamb Posted May 21, 2021 Share Posted May 21, 2021 I really oughtta check for hidden Cameras, mics, and even redo all my wards and stuff, I've just finished 'Settling in' just a few weeks after reading 'Ethralled' and 'Baby Luvs' and besides all of them being masterpieces, they all cater to and fil a very specific and very personal space into my little sheep heart. It's almost as if you two know exactly which strings and buttons to push and pull to make me cry, smile, laugh, scream, and many more "inadequate" reactions to reading stories on the net by 4A.M. I've been having the past month. What that says about me or the ABDL community in general I'll leave as a trivial interpretation exercise to the reader of this one comment. That said, It's wonderful to have a new S&P work so soon to enjoy, and one which promises to wreck me inside-out from the very beggining. I'm loving the parallels you're drawing between being ABDL and being queer, about self-acceptance, fraternity, and to an extent, comunal help. As a closeted Lolita I'm all in for the twining and the incest doesn't bother me, so I'm looking foward to some steamy action betwen the twins, Maybe with someone else even?? (daydreams about twin babies with a friend for a sitter...) Please keep the awesome work of breaking and mending our little hearts with your incredible pieces of literary art. Link to comment
Sophie ♥ Posted May 21, 2021 Author Share Posted May 21, 2021 Thanks for all the kind words guys! ❤️ I know this is a more niche story for us. (Though maybe not if you really think about it. XD) 31 minutes ago, Little Lamb said: It's almost as if you two know exactly which strings and buttons to push and pull to make me cry, smile, laugh, scream, and many more "inadequate" reactions to reading stories on the net by 4A.M. I've been having the past month. What that says about me or the ABDL community in general I'll leave as a trivial interpretation exercise to the reader of this one comment. This is such a huge compliment. I know some of our writing can be a bit off putting with the dual perspectives and colors and all that. But I think being /different/ is a good thing, kind of? People gravitate to different things. You can say things a thousand ways, but some people only listen when it's said one specific way. Hopefully we are that specific way for some people. Will we ever be the kind of snappy one-off writers people like to masturbate to? Probably not. But I like to feel like we fill a different market. 34 minutes ago, Little Lamb said: I'm loving the parallels you're drawing between being ABDL and being queer, about self-acceptance, fraternity, and to an extent, comunal help. I don't wanna trivialize the experiences and struggles of queer stuff, since I think kink and sexual orientation aren't really on the same level. But at the same time, ABDL stuff definitely hits a lot of the same marks. Like, we both use "coming out" as terms, right? I like drawing those parallels, hopefully without undermining anyone. 36 minutes ago, Little Lamb said: As a closeted Lolita I'm all in for the twining and the incest doesn't bother me, so I'm looking foward to some steamy action betwen the twins, Maybe with someone else even?? BUCKLE UP LAMB!!! >:D Link to comment
Sophie ♥ Posted May 21, 2021 Author Share Posted May 21, 2021 7.) "He was just being nice, or whatever. He said something about how this book—" But I'd bumped into the wall, and I dropped the book on the ground. I was using it to hide the blush on my cheeks. "A boy flirted with you and..." Marie paused. "You didn't have your wallet with you - it's at home. On my sofa. Which means... oh my gawd. That's so... you know how long it's been since a boy flirted with me and bought me a book? Forever. It's never happened. Wow, was he cute?" Marie knelt down to pick up the book for the blushing boy and handed it back to him with a grin. "He wasn't flirting!" I looked ahead at my sister, waving us forward and hurrying ahead on her own. I dusted the book off and tucked it under my arm. "He was just being nice, alright? It doesn't matter anyway - boy or girl, I still like girls. You of all people should know." I stuck out my tongue. "Did you tell the boy who bought you the book that little fact? Gawd. One day as a girl and you're already getting girl-perks." "Who's getting girl-perks? I want girl-perks." "Your sister. She seduced a boy." "You seduced a boy?! Hayden you little tart, you like girls! We're Lesbitwins!" I looked incredulously at my sister, and then at Marie. Both of them were smiling. "Okay, listen. I don't like boys. I seduced no one. And he knows it, okay? I told him." Okay, so that's not entirely true, but what else was I supposed to say?! They were teasing me... I sat in the back with my sister when we got to the car - she was pouting and blushing and I figured she could use my cuddles to cheer her up. Marie got in the driver’s seat and we began the drive back to the school. "I'm so proud of you, sis. You made me so happy today, and you put up with me and... you deserve a reward." "Damn right I do," I said with a frown. Putting up with dressing like a girl in public was, surprisingly, not so bad. But having to cope with the teasing of Marie and Landon was something I should have been used to. They liked to tease, and I knew that. I crossed my arms and put my head on Lanny's shoulder. I slipped my hand into Hayden's and played with his fingers on the drive home, tracing little shapes on his hand and drawing attention to his baby pink nails. They'd caught his attention a few times today and I rested my head against his, speaking very softly. "Thank you for doing all this for me. You're such a pretty girl, too... and you're quiet and shy and lovely and I guess I get over-excited..." I watched the shine of the sunset bounce off the pink nails, almost orange in the glow of the coming night. I bit my lip and nodded my head. "It's fine though… excitable girls are cute, you know that. That's why we're friends with Hannah and Mimi..." Well, Mimi could be argued. "Anyway, I think you're cute, too." "You're definitely the kind of girl I would date, though..." With anybody else that might have been an awkward thing to say, with any other sibling, too... but we were close. Very close. Close enough that it was only seen as the compliment it was. I smiled a bit and let my eyes slip closed. I wasn't tired, not really, and I didn't sleep. But lying here in the late evening with my brother-now-sister's head on my shoulder... we hadn't been this close in years. Maybe this wasn't so bad... We got back to the dorm after far too short a time and kept our hands held in one-another's as we made our way inside. Marie closed the door behind us. She'd carried all the bags on her own from the car and I shot her an apologetic look, but she just smiled. "I'm gonna order some Chinese, then we can watch a movie or some TV if you girls want?" My sister took me by the painted hand into Emma's bedroom and flicked on the light. I smiled happily up at her and sat down on the bed. "I think I like this. The girl thing. I mean, boys can't be close like us without, like, getting made fun of, and I don't know. Maybe it's not so bad..." "I know... it's like there's a whole new level of closeness... and it's really nice..." I was blushing when I thought about it, about closeness, about what I'd thought about in the bathroom with her earlier. I pressed both hands to her siblings shoulders and pushed her back down on the bed, smiling. "Marie will be out picking up food for a little while you know..." "Um... right, but…" I looked up at my sister - and from this view, very clearly my sister - and tried to sit back up. She stayed on top of me much like she had yesterday, except her hands were on my shoulders now instead of my wrists. "I want to reward you... for being such a good little sister. A good... baby sister..." I made sure the words were very clearly spoken, very deliberate, and I smiled mischievously as Marie's voice chimed from the common room. "I'll be back in about 20 minutes girls." The door closed. We were alone. In Emma's room, alone, as girls, and I was about to make my sister so very happy. "Very funny. Now please get off me." She cooperated, which was more than I expected, and I sat up on the bed. My heart was racing. I leaned down to the duffel bag and unzipped it, reaching in beneath all the clothes, and pulled out a crinkling square of thick padded plastic with a smile on my lips. "Lay back down Hayden, big sis has to give you your reward." Okay, so I didn't know how to put a diaper on my sister - I'd never done this before! But I was sure as heck going to figure it out. I shook my head very seriously, my cheeks much redder than before. I couldn't believe he brought those... "Landon, stop it. I mean it." My voice sure sounded confident. I was almost surprised. "I am really enjoying tonight, and I don't want to mess it up. Please?" Please always worked. Landon's a sucker for please. I reached down to the bag and pulled a pacifier out - a pink one, which I found darling and adorable - and promptly stuffed it between my siblings lips. "Shh. Don't make a fuss, okay?" It was difficult - please always worked on me! But Hayden wanted this, I knew that he did, I knew he had all this shame and doubt and I wanted it gone. I was going to help him the way he helped me. My whole body shuddered at the pacifier's entrance between my lips. I'd been doing really well with it, keeping it out of my mouth for months at a time now. Back in eighth grade, I'd stay in my room for days chewing on it. I quickly took it out, completely out of breath, and stood up on my feet. "Lanny!" I pushed the pacifier back in and held it there, speaking very clearly: "Little sissy, if you never learn to conquer the shame response, you'll never ever be happy. So you're going to lay down, and you're going to be a good little girl. Okay?" My voice was stern and firm in the way that a parent was and I was pretty proud of that! My knees felt weak and I subsequently slipped down onto the bed. It took very little prompting to get my sister to lie me down, and I chewed hard on the pacifier. It just... felt so good. I'd always had a bit of an oral fixation, especially when I was anxious, and it was something my brother always had to make-believe was a trait of his as well. I unbutton the girls’ pants my brother was wearing and gently tugged them down his legs - we'd be keeping our legs clean from now on, but we'd discuss that later. I took the diaper in my hand with a little grin and took a breath, unfolding it. Tapes... start on the bum side and go to the not-bum side. Right? Right. I can do this. "Lift your bum, little sis." How hard can it be? Wearing nothing but boxers - and yes, I'd insisted on boxers - in front of my sister should have put me off a lot more than it had, but the idea of her changing me into a diaper certainly was! I tried to sit up, but her fingers pushed my chest down and I fell back onto my back. Still, I didn't raise my butt. "Wanny..." Stupid pacifier. Stupid oral fixation. Ugh. "Raise your bottom, little sissy, because if you keep being troublesome then I'll have to give you a spanking." That's what you do with kids, right? Spanking? I never really thought about it, but I know we'd been spanked at kids, so that seemed logical. "Now be a good baby girl, okay?" I was lost in this, and I really hoped she'd listen now because I didn't have anything else. I bit hard on my lip and moved my hand up to my mouth, lifting the pacifier out for just a minute. "Um... Lanny... I really appreciate you... um... doing this for me and all, but..." Fuck, were my cheeks warm. "I can do this part. I mean... I'll do it... just... please, some privacy..." "You've had to do this yourself for as long as you've been doing it. How long have you daydreamed about a pretty girl doing it for you?" I let that question settle in with a coy little smile as I pushed the pacifier back into place. "Still want to do it yourself, baby girl?" Even if she was my brother... sister... she was still so knowledgable. She knew me better than anyone. She'd seen me naked. And she was accepting this part of me. So I shook my head, my cheeks red. I sucked on the pacifier and lifted my bottom. This was so weird, but... but this was what I'd wanted for a long time, even if it was with my sister... I tugged down my sibling’s boxer shorts and bit my lip, deciding not to mention the resulting display of very clear enjoyment. Despite my lack of words, I couldn't help but stare a little bit, biting my lip with a smile as I slid the diaper underneath Hayden's bottom, adjusting it as centeredly as I could before I started to work on the tapes. "Such a good baby. Who's my good little sis?" My cheeks were so warm. I regretted all of it almost instantly. What was I thinking, letting my brother do this?! Fuck... how dense could I be? But all I could remember was our trip home from the mall, and how comfortable it was with my head on her shoulder...I pulled the diaper up between his leg, taped up first one side, and then the other. It was snug and secure and I guess that was all I had to go on - I'd be sure to ask him for advice on improving after all of this. But I had, at least, successfully put my brother in a diaper. "There we go, little sissy. Isn't that better?" He was adorable, too. Pacifier and diaper and girls’ clothes and that pretty face and blushing cheeks and awwww! I slid up next to him on the bed and smiled. "Come cuddle with big sis, okay? Just for a little bit?"The anxiety really died down after the first five minutes. Neither of us said anything the whole time. I put my head against her shoulder, my brother's shoulder, and closed my eyes. The arms around me, his body heat, and the slight crinkling of the diaper. The way the pacifier stayed between my lips while I chewed. Before I knew it, I'd fallen asleep. I pulled the comforter up over my brother when I heard Marie get back and wandered out of the bedroom to greet her clicking the door closed behind me. "Hayden had a big day, she's kinda sleepy. I figured I'd let her have a little nap while we got dinner laid out and picked what to watch." My cheeks were pink though, pinker than I'd ever felt them. While laying there with Hayden I'd felt things I didn't really know what to do with. My brother was my sister for me, and my baby sister for her, and she was beautiful and adorable and gosh I was blushing. "I'll wake her up in a few minutes, okay?" --------------- Thank you for reading! Like, Comment, and check us out on Patreon! 2 1 Link to comment
Jayme Posted May 21, 2021 Share Posted May 21, 2021 Another beautiful chapter, Lanny & Hayden have such a wonderful dynamic going. May it stay this strong Link to comment
Little Lamb Posted May 22, 2021 Share Posted May 22, 2021 On 5/20/2021 at 9:59 PM, Sophie ♥ said: BUCKLE UP LAMB!!! >:D Buckled into my carseat waiting for bigger kids who can drive my feelings up and down like a rollercoaster (the fun kind,.. not the ones I'm too little & too scared too go on) when suddenly: ?? (the lack of good sheep emojis on the net never fails to astound me, it's as if it was made for hoomans...) Now I wanna a twin like Lanny... Such a beautiful and sweet chapter, I'm loving their dynamic and discoveries. I'll be here on my carseat waiting for the next developments on this drive. Also: On 5/20/2021 at 9:59 PM, Sophie ♥ said: I don't wanna trivialize the experiences and struggles of queer stuff, since I think kink and sexual orientation aren't really on the same level. But at the same time, ABDL stuff definitely hits a lot of the same marks. Like, we both use "coming out" as terms, right? I like drawing those parallels, hopefully without undermining anyone. As the Gayest biological Gal I myself know, I actually felt validated by the parallels you two are drawing, they're giving new light to some of my experiences and making me rethink a little my Little heheh and grown-up sides and their relation to my Identity as a Trans woman at this particular tectonic plate. Granted a sample size of 1 doesn't mean much, But it's what I have to say as a Queer ABDL. Link to comment
Sophie ♥ Posted May 26, 2021 Author Share Posted May 26, 2021 8.) "Hey, Hayden. Sweetie." I rubbed my eyes with the back of my hand and looked up at my brother. Everything was still so foggy, and only remnants of the past day echoed through my consciousness. "Had da weedist dweam..." But the pacifier in my mouth very quickly brought me back to reality and I pulled it out with blushing cheeks. God, what had I done...?! "Shh, shh. Dinner's ready. Put your pacifier under the pillow, and we'll just put your pants back on over your diaper." I was calm and collected like it was the most normal thing in the world, and I really wanted for Hayden to feel as though it was. "Marie got Chinese." I shook my head in a little panic and climbed quickly off the bed. I didn't have pants on. I felt so foolish. How could I let him do that... how could I fall asleep like that? I quickly reached for the tapes on the diaper and Lanny pinned me against the wall. "Lemme go!" But my voice was a whisper. "Marie is here! Lemme go!" "If you're a bad girl, you'll keep the pacifier in too. But you're a good girl, aren't you? A good little girl? My good little girl?" Word choices were deliberate and potent and I bit my lip. Gosh, my head was swimming. "Be. A. Good. Girl. Okay? Everything is going to be wonderful." I shook my head, my back still pinned to the wall. I felt my cheeks so hot. I bit hard on my bottom lip and tried to wiggle out of the boy's grasp. For a girl, he certainly hadn't lost any strength. "Marie's here, Landon... not in front of Marie... please..." And again, that word. He'd listen. He'd have to... "I'm going to pull your pants back on for you, because little girls aren't so good at dressing themselves. And then you can bring the comforter out with you, okay? I'll wrap you up like an adorable little burrito. And Marie won't know. But you'll know, and I'll know. And you'll know I know, and that'll make you all tingly... won't it?" I knew it turned him on - I hadn't put two and two together until I'd actually seen him when I was diapering him, but I knew it was definitely a source of arousal. I opened my mouth to protest, but my sister put her finger to my lips. "Unless you'd rather not have pants..." I shook my head slowly, looking down shamefully at the floor. Lanny let me off the wall and grabbed a set of pajamas from one of the bags of clothes. I cooperated, changing into the same polka dot top and bottoms as my brother. I felt so silly. "What if she sees... or hears... or..." "She won't see, unless you're planning on rekindling our relationship with her." I grinned coyly. "And you'll have a comforter, look..." I picked up Emma's Strawberry Shortcake comforter and wrapped it around my sibling, true to my word, like an adorable burrito. "Come on, food is going cold, missy." I felt foolish walking out into the living room with the comforter wrapped around me, and even worse when I took a seat on the couch next to Marie. She looked at me strangely and I pulled the blanket up over my head. This so wouldn't work. She'd find out. I couldn't let her... ugh, this having Lanny know was such a bad idea! "Well you're just adorable, aren't you? You know, comforters are very girlish things. I mean, toting them around the house and all. Only two types of people do that; girls and little kids. Really cute." I think we might both have blushed at that, and I regretted not having a comforter of my own. We were different and that was awful! Still, we had delicious yummy foods and we'd decided on a TV show to watch. Despite the fact that we were dressed as girls now and Hayden was wearing a diaper... everything seemed so normal. I didn't care what we were watching. I ate a lot of food, careful not to get any on the blanket, and finally excused myself from the table around midnight. I didn't go back to Emma's room, though: I went straight to the bathroom. Just as I was untaping the side of the diaper, Lanny walked in. "Excuse me..." I made sure the door was clicked shut - Marie was asleep on the sofa anyway. I took three steps across the bathroom, pushed my sister down so she was sitting on the closed toilet seat, then held each of her hands as I sat on her lap - she hadn't untaped the diaper yet and nor would she. "Just what do you think you're doing, little sis?" I felt my cheeks go red. Lanny was always known for being a bit of a joker, but outright assertive like this? I opened my mouth to respond, but she put her finger to my lips. I wasn't sure why that made me feel so small... "I'm... using the bathroom, what do you think? I'm snorting cocaine or something?" "I don't think little girls who wear diapers have bathroom privileges, do you?" Okay, so I really didn't know what I was doing - I wasn't sure if this was going too far or if Hayden would freak out or if it was wrong or gross or right or anything really. "I... what?" Lanny smiled down at me and I very quickly shook my head. "Ew, no! No! You have the wrong idea! I just... I like the... the... padding and... and... no! Gosh..." Lanny frowned. I could tell she was rethinking this, that she had overplayed her hand. But, to my surprise, she didn't retract her statement. "You can use the toilet if you want, but you'll regret it." Hayden looked up at me, confused at my statement and I smiled as sweet as I could manage. "If you use the toilet, I'll assume you're a big girl and you can sleep alone tonight and I'll take the sofa. But... if you show me that I'm wrong and that you're definitely a little baby girl... I'll change you into a fresh diaper and we'll cuddle tonight. All night. Me and you, wrapped up in bed, diaper and pacifier... all night." "I..." I looked down at my feet, my cheeks burning red. Damn was it tempting, but... "I just don't do that, Landon..." I thought it might end at that, the game would be over, but Landon was never the type to play fair. He pulled the blanket from off the floor and stepped out of the bathroom. I watched him turn the corner into the hallway, and with the faint sounds of a kiss from the other room. I pulled up my pants and stepped out of the bathroom just in time to hear Lanny's perfect Hayden voice: "I… I'm so sorry... I didn't think you'd..." And then, before I knew it, Lanny had dropped the blanket at my feet before stepping past me into the bathroom and locking the door. What...? Marie came down the hall to see the boy in the hall, looking confused, blanket at his feet and the bathroom door closed. "Hayden..." She rubbed her eyes sleepily. "I... I thought we talked about this, about us. You know why we didn't work out." Marie took the boy’s hand in hers and smirked, the blanket still on the floor. "Do you still feel that way about me?" "I..." I looked at the closed door behind me. What just... "I didn't... I didn't do anything! It was... Landon!" Marie still held one of my hands in hers and I used the other to point to the closed bathroom door. Of course, the blanket was still at my feet. "You know how his pranks are, Marie!" "Hey, hey... it's okay, I'm not mad. I promise. You just need to know we can't work out, and especially not now - I only date boys, lovely." The bathroom door remained closed and Marie smiled at Hayden. "You don't have to be embarrassed, okay? I miss what we used to have, especially when it was you. But that's over now, okay?" My mouth was open, completely shocked, unsure of what to say. "I... I didn't, though... it wasn't..." I felt my cheeks start to burn up. She thought I liked her? "I... I mean, you're really sweet, Marie... and... and of course, my time with you was... it was fun... I mean, I like when we'd..." I felt my cheeks get warmer. I was blushing now? Because of her? Ugh! "But I didn't...!" "Hey, it's okay, alright? I forgive you." Marie knelt down and picked up the blanket, her face only a few inches from the boy’s diaper hiding beneath his girlish pajamas. Without event, she picked it up and wrapped it around him with a bright smile. "Where's that sister of yours, anyway?" "She's in the bathroom! Because she ran in there, when—" But with the turn of my body, I wound up stepping on the edge of the blanket, and fell right into Marie. Marie wrapped her arms around me to catch me and I felt the blush on my cheeks get hotter. I looked up shyly into her eyes. "S..sorry..." "Come on you little ditz, let's get you into bed. I'm sure Lanny will be out soon." Marie smiled with all the warmth of a summer’s day and took the boy’s hand in hers, leading the way back to Emma's bedroom as he stumbled awkwardly behind her, half trying to balance, half trying to keep the comforter wrapped around him."But... but..." Marie kept my hand in hers while she walked me toward Emma's bedroom, and it was only once we were inside that she let me go. I felt my cheeks burning hot. God, Landon was such an asshole! He'd be in so much trouble...! The girl motioned to Emma's bed and dimmed the lights down low. "You're so adorable, Hayden. I'm glad you're a girl now - you were too much cuteness and affection to be limited by the male gender." She leaned in and kissed his forehead. "Want me to tuck you in?" I wanted to say no, but there was just a certain way to Marie that was a little transfixing. She was never very aggressive, only on rare occasions, the same as my brother, but damn could she be maternal. So I nodded my head and let her lie me down on my back. "Marie... I... I think you're really nice..." I was just being polite, albeit honest, but I'm sure she didn't take it that way. "Sweetie... you know we can't. I would if we could - I think you're beautiful. But we tried and it didn't work. Gosh. You're the one who broke up with me remember? And you're a girl now, and I just don't see..." She smiled lopsidedly and stood up. "Sweet dreams, okay?" "Marie..." I tried to sit up and she pushed me back down. God, I should really just get used to that, shouldn't I? "It wasn't working with both of us, you know that. I was just... I was trying to make it better for you, you know. I didn't like wasting your time..." I looked away from the girl standing above me. "I didn't mean to hurt you... I thought you wanted to be free of our games..." Landon was pretty pissed that day too. I pulled the comforter over my head. "You were right. You told me that if we didn't stop playing games there'd be nothing left to fall back on when the game ended." Marie pulled the covers back and kissed Hayden’s forehead. "I'm glad we did what we did. But it's over now and has to be, okay? I'm going to go to bed now. See you tomorrow." There was the sound of a toilet flushing through the door, and that meant Lanny was on her way back anyway. "I didn't mean..." I closed my eyes and shook my head. But before I could finish my train of thought, Lanny was in the doorway and Marie was just about to leave. I bit on my bottom lip and looked away from both of them. Man, why did we have to bring all that stuff back up again...? I closed the door behind Marie when she left and came over with a Cheshire Cat smile, but Hayden was morose. I tilted my head as I sat down by the edge of the bed. "What did I miss? Are you okay?" I knew that look on his face, knew that pained guilt and sullen sadness. I'd seen it before. When Lanny sat herself on the edge of the bed I kicked her as hard as I could and she fell to the floor. "Ow..." "Serves you right, fucking with Marie like that." I pulled the covers around me and closed my eyes. Still, even in the darkness, I didn't feel any better. It was stupid, I knew it was, and I knew she was right. But what could I do now? I got up, wincing, and squirmed down under the covers with my sibling. I wrapped my arms around him from behind and sighed. "I'm sorry. I got overly excited today and it was stupid. I'll make it up to her tomorrow... and I'll make it up to you right now, okay...?" I rolled over onto my side, facing my sister, and frowned. "She hates me." "She doesn't hate you." "She does, a little bit..." I looked away from Lanny and closed my eyes again. "I'm such a selfish kid... selfish and stupid." I sighed and put my forehead against my sister's. "I just want to not think about it anymore..." "She adores you. You should have heard the things she had to say about you when you were asleep before dinner..." Our faces were so close, our foreheads touching, our words no more than pretty little whispers that seemed to be as long as anybody would ever need to talk. "She thinks you're incredible... selfless, and brave, and compassionate and caring... I think she's right too, you know?" "Then why does she still hate me? It was two years ago..." Lanny liked to believe I hadn’t gone to school with her because I didn't want to split us up, and in a lot of ways that was true. But it would be a lie to say Marie didn't factor into that. We always planned to come here together, before everything happened. "Why do you think that?" Our legs intertwined and our feet played with one-another's as we talked, little casual meaningless play between overly-close siblings. "What gives you the idea that she hates you? I really don't think that she does." "It doesn't matter anymore," I said with a frown and rolled away from my sister. And it didn't, did it? We were all talking again. We were still hanging out. We visited. And now I was a girl. So really whatever situation we were in before, really was irrelevant. I closed my eyes and pulled the blanket over my sister and I. "Sweet dreams, Lanny." --------------- Thank you for reading! Like, Comment, and check us out on Patreon! 3 Link to comment
Little Lamb Posted May 26, 2021 Share Posted May 26, 2021 41 minutes ago, YourFNF said: I am really confused ? Same, kinda, I'm feeling some very much maternal vibes from the way Marie towards the twins, specially Hayden, Something between big sister and young CG. So maybe she knows about their diapers? It seems their relationship ended in some murky waters for Hayden, dunno why, maybe Lanny is involved. The possibilities for drama seem endless. I'm loving it. But still in the dark about so much... I could also be reading this very wrong, not much time between world domination steps and stuff... I mean... ? Béééé!!! Link to comment
Sophie ♥ Posted May 27, 2021 Author Share Posted May 27, 2021 On 5/26/2021 at 1:32 PM, YourFNF said: I am really confused ? Long story short, Lanny kissed Marie pretending to be Hayden, which got Hayden into a bit of a TroubleTM. Because apparently there's a very storied past there with Marie, Hayden, and perhaps Lanny. But don't worry - you'll learn more about this soon. Link to comment
YourFNF Posted May 28, 2021 Share Posted May 28, 2021 7 hours ago, Sophie ♥ said: Long story short, Lanny kissed Marie pretending to be Hayden, which got Hayden into a bit of a TroubleTM. Because apparently there's a very storied past there with Marie, Hayden, and perhaps Lanny. But don't worry - you'll learn more about this soon. Thanks Sophie ? Link to comment
Sophie ♥ Posted May 30, 2021 Author Share Posted May 30, 2021 9.) "I don't really wanna go." Marie had already made us breakfast - bless her heart - and I was sitting on the sofa reading the last chapter of the book Alex - the boy from the mall - had given me. I was in a bra and a blue top that matched my sister’s, who was helping Marie with the dishes. "I'll stay here and read. Just buy me whatever shoes you get Lanny." The girl pronouns and Lanny's name were getting much easier. After yesterday, when I'd seen him cry for the first time in forever, it seemed so natural not to call him a him. "Please come along, Hayden? Pretty, pretty please?" My hands were wet from the dish water and I wanted so badly to run over and tug on my sibling’s sleeves and pout and whine. "We'll have to go back to being boys when we get home and I want to make the most of this experience here. Please? For me?" “You have to make the most of this experience," I corrected my brother. I didn't care if I was a girl or a boy or whatever he wanted. But it seemed to matter to him, or her. I turned the page and looked up at the girl sitting at the edge of the couch, drying her hands on my jeans. "Just go with Marie. She'll take care of you." "You know, if you don't get the same practice as I do, you'll fall behind. You're becoming a girl with me so you can't be lazy about it. You get to sit at home and read as much as you want when we're boys. Puh-leeeee-zzz? For me?" I wrapped my hands around my sister and leaned in close, kissing his cheek and whisperingly ever-so-quietly: "We'll have more fun tonight if you dooo~" The sing-song tone of my voice betrayed my mischievous intent, but the smile frosted it with a thick layer of playfulness. She had a point. I hated that she had a point. I pulled my book closer to my face, but ultimately, I knew she was right. If I wanted to stay in the same league as her, we'd have to go through this together. Like soccer all over again... god, did I hate soccer. Wasn't that enough? "Fine. Let me finish my book, then. Pick something for us to wear." We were, after all, still in pajamas. It would be skirts today, I'd decided. We had hairy legs but the weather was cool enough that we'd wear opaque black tights underneath - which did kind of ruin the appeal of a skirt for me, but I’d have to make do. After Lanny went into Emma’s room, Marie wandered over to the sofa and looked down at Hayden. "You're really taking this in stride now, huh chica?" I smiled behind my book and did my best to let Marie know I was listening when I very nearly wasn't. "I think it's important to encourage her, after yesterday, you know? And what does it matter if people think I'm a girl? We might as well be girls anyway." I flipped the page. "Something will get to me sooner or later." I didn't know at the time that it would be sooner. "You make her happy, Hayden. I'm really proud of y—" Marie didn't get a chance to finish - I was too excited to wait. I tossed the skirt and tights and panties that all matched what I was wearing down on my sister’s lap. "Outfit: chosen. Marie is going to do our makeup again because we don't really know how. We should learn. Maybe we could be cute androgynous scene boys at school who wear makeup..." "Uh huh." Marie looked down at me a little skeptically, but Lanny knew better. "She'll come back when she finishes the chapter." And she was right. It was another five minutes later, when I'd finished the book and Marie was already working on Lanny's makeup, that I stormed into her room with a frown. "I am not wearing this!" "Why not? It's adorable. We have orange ones if you want - Marie bought them - but I don't know if we can pull-off orange." Marie frowned and jabbed me in the cheek to make me stop talking so she can continue my makeup. "What's the problem, Hayden? Your sister needs to be quiet if she wants to be able to see." "I'm not wearing any skirts! Seriously!" I knew my cheeks had a touch of color, but the other two seemed to be focused on what they were doing. "You bought jeans. We can wear jeans." I stepped out of Marie's room before the inevitable Landon disagreement started and closed the door behind me. I got up now - makeup be damned - and followed my twin, eventually ending up in Emma's room with the door clicked shut behind me. He looked at me to argue and I put my finger to his lips... and then pressed it inside of them, talking very quietly. "You know I bet a skirt would be a super cute thing to wear with one of your diapers..." I felt my heart race and pulled his finger out of my mouth, glistening with my saliva and the pink polish on the tip of his nail. My cheeks reddened. "I'm not wearing a skirt, Lanny. I don't mind this, and I'll be a girl if you want, but I don't want to wear one, alright?" The way that Hayden blushed when I put my finger in his lips only confirmed what I'd suspected and I slipped it back in again, this time a little more assertively, my other hand gently pushing him against the cork-board on the wall. "Little sissy, your big sister Lanny thinks you should wear a skirt today. And you don't want to disagree, do you? I mean... you're just a little girl, what would you know... right?" My head was swimming. But it was my brother! Or sister, or whatever... I just... I tried to push him away again, but she kept her finger in my lips. I did my best not to suck on it the way I was used to, and I managed quite well. "Wet me go." "Tut-tut-tut, you be a good girl and suck big sister’s finger, okay little sissy? And you listen too." My lips were glossy and his weren't and I felt my head spinning a little bit with a sense of delirious euphoria. Again, I tried to push him off, but the attempt was half-hearted. With him pushing me against the wall, with his finger in my mouth, I knew my resolve was slipping. I closed my eyes and tried not to think about it. "Suck on my finger, little baby girl, because that's what you want to do, isn't it? It's not a pacifier but I bet it's almost as good..." Part of me felt like I was peddling crack, but the other half saw this as an important developmental step in a perfectly heathy co-dependent relationship. "Little girls don't get to pick what they wear, they just stand there while they're dressed by a grown-up. And I'm a grown-up, Hayden. And you're a little girl. Now, tell me what you are?" "You're being soo-pid!" But the words weren't said without the blush on my cheeks, and my resolve was well and truly shot. I wasn't sure where any of this was coming from, or why it made me feel this way, but it couldn't be helped. I opened my eyes, a little watery with embarrassment, and looked away from my sister. "I'll wear the... skirt, okay?" It should have been enough for me, but it wasn't - not yet. I smiled very sweetly and asked the same question one more time. "You'll wear the skirt, because you're a... what are you, sweetie? I have to make sure you know, otherwise I'm not a very good big sister..." "S-stop..." But he didn't. He played with my hair and smiled and waited until I finally whispered around his finger "little girl" before he pulled it free. It only occurred afterward to bite him. I should have bit him! Ugh... I sat down on the edge of the bed, my cheeks burning red, and bit my bottom lip. A skirt... really? "We're going to start shaving our legs when we get home, but for today we'll wear tights that hide the leg hair so it'll be basically like having pants underneath. Think of it like a training skirt. Like we wear training-bras, see? We're essentially twelve year olds as far as girlish figures go..." I grinned and sat down next to my twin, my legs ajar and entirely unladylike in my first skirt. "Sure..." I was still blushing, and I didn't really like this one bit, but a part of me was a little worried Landon would treat me all childishly again. As much as I liked it, and I really did too, I didn't want it to become a habit. I changed into my skirt - only after Lanny left the room - and came out to meet Marie for my makeup. "This is stupid..." "You look so cute." I grinned as I stepped up next to my sister and kissed him on the cheek - the sound of Marie's phone clicking a picture sounded and I smiled. "Marie is chronicling stuff - this is our first weekend as girls after all. We'll look back on this and be like 'gosh...' all embarrassed and stuff..." My Lanny speech patterns had definitely taken over and I was giddy and exuberant. Marie had been working with my sister on her voice this morning, which required very little tweaking, and I was already falling behind the curve. His energy was something I had a lot of problems mimicking - neither of us were particularly bubbly as boys. I started to worry a lot about it, following Marie into her bedroom. Lanny, for whatever reason, didn't follow us. "You still worried about the skirt thing? Don't stress - just pretend like you're naked from the waist down. Walk that way. Sit that way. Climb stairs that way. It translates into pretty good skirt movements." Marie was looking for her hair-brush for her own readiness, but Hayden had closed the door and that made her look up. "Or is it something else?" I was playing with my finger the way I always did when I was nervous. For as much crap as Landon put me through, like soccer tryouts and dance lessons, I sure had my fair share of quirks he had to learn to mimic. I sat down on the vanity stool and shook my head, refusing the mirror. "I'm fine." "You're also lying." Marie didn't say it accusingly, but she did say it very directly. "This is some heavy stuff, Hayden. You're amazing, but you need an outlet when you're worried. And you're doing your hand thing. You don't have to tell me, but you came in here and closed the door so I bet some part of you wants to talk to me. So I'm here. Talk." Talking to Marie was always so much trickier than it was with Hannah or Oliver. Marie was an anomaly, she was special. But my choices were limited, and I knew it. And in some regard, she was right; I knew more about psychology than any of us, and I had closed the door... "It's going to sound stupid, but... I think I'm upset that I'm not as good a girl as him..." "Well..." Marie was the kind of girl who always seemed like she never had to give any amount of thought to what she said, though she'd explained before that she was constantly thinking and analyzing and over-thinking back on the same points - she just did it very quickly. "Lanny has passion. She's like a wound-up rubber band with all this energy to release. So you need something of equal merit. What about knowledge? I bet you could learn all sorts of stuff from me, or on YouTube, stuff you could teach Lanny, too. She'd look up to you as a girl. Like makeup. I could teach you how to do some basics and you'd be able to teach her." "I don't really care, though..." I bit my lip and kept playing with my fingers in my lap. I felt my heart race a lot faster than I wanted it to at the idea of falling behind, of my brother becoming my sister and our dynamic shifting. A lot could be said for Landon's synergy theory, but nothing scared me half as much as losing it. "I just... why can't she slow down... I can't keep up... but I can't say..." I didn't even realize until Marie put her hands in mine that I was shaking. "Sorry... making a big deal out of nothing..." "If you need her to slow down, you need to tell her that. I'm not sure you realize it, but journey is both of yours now. She shared this with you and now you're both guiding things. Right now she's calling the shots but only because you feel like you don't have any right to. The solution is to realize you're equals in this." Marie smiled, making it sound entirely more simple than it was. "But she'll just cry again!" I didn't mean it to come out as loudly as it did, or for the tears to start down my cheeks. I felt so pathetic. I quickly wiped them away and stood up from the vanity stool. "Sorry... I'm being stupid and I don't want to talk about it anymore... can we just do this makeup thing?" But my hands were still playing violently with each other, the kind of rough housing parents usually don't like. Marie took both of Hayden’s hands in hers and held them in the way that a child holds a doll - tenderly assertive. "She might cry. Girls cry. You're crying, see? It's normal and natural. Mom used to tell me that we cry when there's a feeling that's too hard to have inside of us. Right now, it's confusion and frustration... but it's all coming out now. All washing away, see?" She let go of one of his hands and traced a line up his cheek, wiping away a few tears. "She wants you to be a part of this. She wants you to have your say. And I bet more than anything she wants for you to tell her when you need help." "I'm fine... I can handle it..." If I could handle soccer, I could handle this. Soccer, admittedly, was much worse than changing my gender. I'd change my gender ten times over before playing another season of soccer. I wiped the tears away on my own and sat back down on the vanity stool. My fingers still shook, but I kept them apart. "Makeup. Come on." "You know being stoic isn't a very feminine trait. Don't be stubborn - listen to me. And talk to your sister. Think about why she trusted you enough to want you to share this with her. What if you had a secret like that? If you shared it with her, wouldn't you want for her to take an active interest and participate?" Marie had already opened her little makeup case though, and was working as she spoke. "Not really," I said under my breath. Even though it was nice to have the pressure taken off of Lanny knowing my secret, her active participation was certainly an oddity. I wasn't sure what I could do about it, though. She didn't really listen... "I really don't want to talk about this anymore..." "Okay." And that was that. Marie didn't say very much else as she put the finishing touches on the boy who was now a girl and then motioned to the mirror for him to assess her work - as if he actually cared. "Do you want me to teach you any of this stuff? Make-up can be a useful thing to know - you can make yourself look like a burlesque dancer, or a businesswoman, or a little girl, or a hooker - lots of possibilities." The words interested me more than they should have. I wasn't swayed by the comment of "little girl" so much as the word "little". I supposed little boys didn't wear makeup at all, did they? Still, the new variable in my life, my makeup versus my sister's, was too much to handle. So I shook my head. I already felt so on-edge... "I'm going to finish getting ready. Go hang out with your sister - she's probably worried about you." Marie was handling this better than either of the twins. She saw it as awhat it was - something pretty major and worthy of patience and careful planning, but something that needed commitment and overcoming challenges too. Neither Lanny nor Hayden had struck that balance just yet. --------------- Thank you for reading! Like, Comment, and check us out on Patreon! 3 Link to comment
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