New Daddy looking for advice

[Elfy]

My wife and I have recently come into possession of a wonderful Little ( @Lyra ) and she is the best!

She visited us for five days nearly two months ago and all agreed the trip was great. I changed her nappies, we played, she coloured and got dressed up cutely... There was some sexual stuff as well that went well and we are all happy with.

I'm just looking for advice on some things to make sure her next visit is even better!

There are a few things I would like specific advice on but general advice and everything is really appreciated.

1. I need ideas for activities that Lyra can do with or without me or her Mummy that will take up her time. On the last visit she spent most of the Little time colouring which was great but some more variety would be nice.

2. She had some difficulties wetting and messing herself. I understand the new situation and place probably made her tense up a bit subconsciously. I want to make sure she has an easier time using her nappies on her next visit.

3. I need some advice on being more assertive in telling Lyra what to do. I know she wants me to take more control but I'm always very worried about making her uncomfortable or anything like that. We have a safe word and stuff but I'm hesitant to really push things.

4. How do I make her more of a mushy-brained baby while she's here?

Otherwise any general advice is appreciated. I'm new to being in charge and as great as the first visit was all three of us are eager to make the next trip even better

[Little Sherri]

Hi, Elfy - I don't have any experience with this, so take my suggestions for what they are worth, which is probably not much, but that said, here are my two cents..

1 - Activities - does she like blocks or Lego or dolls? Little people can spend hours getting lost in "free-form" toys like that, devising their own games, using building blocks to create props for their dolls, etc. There is also a lot of age-appropriate content that can be found on YouTube, for example, which can give them (and you) a little a break from entertaining themselves. If you have access to any outdoor space, a sandbox or sensory tub filled with water and toys can provide hours of fun. Even a tub of rice can become a playground. You may want to have an old t-shirt around that can be thrown on over her diaper so that her outfit stays dry and clean. 

2 - Getting her comfortable using her nappies is a tough one. I guess the key would be to assist her in arriving at a need to use them, at a time when she doesn't have any other options. Probably start by offering frequent hydration, with generous encouragement, right from her arrival time - set goals as a stepping point to a preferred activity. "You can paint once you've finished half of your bottle", "you can use another colour if you have a drink", etc. You might want to look at lockable plastic pants or sleepers, for example, so that she has to settle in and simply be in the moment - potty considerations are entirely out of her hands, and she becomes essentially "blameless", which might take some psychological pressure off of her. Depending on how trusting and open her relationship is with you, you could look at using glycerin suppositories, which are a gentle, and relatively fast-acting method for encouraging easy bowel activity in a little one, with no long-term or lingering effects. 

3 - Being more assertive - this would be the most difficult part for me. I guess you have to assure yourself that it's for the best, and that if she's not getting what she needs from you, she won't be as happy. She has the ability to "opt out" at any time, so, trust your instincts in gently moving the boundaries outward, and watching how she responds. Little ones need structure; their sense of safety and security comes from having limits and being stripped of responsibility. Be gentle, but firm and unyielding, if you know that the structure you are maintaining is in her best interests. 

4- Making her more of a baby brain - I think this also comes from your preempting of her requirement to make any decisions or have any responsibility, so that she becomes a creature of the moment, not thinking very far ahead, or dwelling on past events. Gentle encouragement also helps with this, and a lack of judgement - you want her to lose self-consciousness, and feel free to act as she wishes, as long as its safe and it complies with your reasonable rules. Sometimes she will push boundaries, and that's when it's your job to reemphasize her lack of control and responsibility. You are taking on concerns and planning, and she needs only to "be". Get out ahead of her needs so that she has no requests, and she is following the path you are laying for her, safe and secure in the knowledge that her needs will be met, her nappy will be changed, she won't be judged, and her world will be soft, warm, loving and fun. 

[ValentinesStuff]

1. Plushies and tea set, so she can have a tea party. 

[22k5]

I was my wife's caregiver for two years so we had something similar

1. Activities Little Sherri really nailed it on the head there toys. maybe talk to her about what toys she would like to play with before she comes over. maybe have a shopping trip together and have her pick out some stuff she likes this also might help her get into her little space.

2-3.this problem should go away with time you are both new to the situation and you will find your footing soon enough you're in the learning phase of this relationship that's all this is. 

4.Getting her into her little space I really can't give you advice cuz I don't know either of you but the best way I've found  is to just ask I'm fairly certain she'd be more than willing to tell you.

I hope this helped a little bit and I hope you guys have a fun time again.

[fixitboy]

Best advice.  Dont force anything... i have sever little firends  Relationships that are completey platonic i just provide a safe place for then to explore their little ab sides. I enjoy offering a no strings attached place to come to because i dident have that when i was younger myself.  ... most times its just hange out whial they happen to be wearing diapers. Most times under normial clothing.... i do enjoying noticeing a diaper bulge and the diaper sticking out that back of pants look....