Self acceptance and transitioning to 24/7

[Ginger]

Hello everyone! I'm new here but my whole life I've been a dl. As far back as I can remember I've had the desire to wear and use diapers. I've had alot of binge and purge cycles but I always come back. The last cycle I had I managed to go 24/7 for two months. Then quit when other life circumstances wouldn't allow. I'm back at it! This time, I feel like I am ready to commit and I don't want anything to stop me from embracing this need. It makes me feel complete and though I realize it will be difficult, I also know its what I need emotionally. I'm 35, female. My biggest concern is that my boyfriend won't accept it. He knows that I've been using pull ups and diapers during my period, and that I've had some wetting accidents. But I think he believes its only related to my monthly cycle. I'm looking for some advice as to how to bring this up to him as being a necessity to my life. From past training I've developed some functional incontinence, where if I'm wearing, my bladder will release on its own and I've had a few TINY messes while sleeping.(however, I think it was related to sleep meds) how can I relax and embrace this about myself and realize my dreams as well as let him know how important this is to me. He's rather vanilla and I don't know that he would like it. But also, he's not very sexual in the first place. Wearing and using isn't necessarily sexual for me, but comforting and fulfilling. I also notice while I'm wearing that my sex drive lowers. Which allows for me to be more on his level. When I'm not, all I want to do is have sex. Its strange. My dream is for him to accept me as diaper dependent and for me to lose control of both urinary and fecal. Honestly, I want to spend the rest of my life in diapers. But I also want him by my side. I will never be able to stop needing diapers in the way of emotional care. If I were to deny that aspect of me, it would be unhealthy. I guess I'm looking for advice and emotional support to help me during this time and along my way to dependence. Thank you! I'm very happy to be here and grateful for you all!!❤❤

[Stroller]

Good luck with it Ginger.  Squaring your DL needs with keeping your relationship working isn't easy - for most of us anyway.  So far I've managed it OK, by doing everything I could to keep my wife comfortable with everything.  It took a long time, and I didn't try to push too fast.  Now I'm in nappies all the time, and she makes me baby clothes.  My heart's with you!

[oznl]

I've wanted to be diapered for nearly all my life: if anything, the want became stronger and stronger as I got older.  I had limited partner support that faded away over the years to a kind of frosty, reluctant tolerance. 

One day I realised that nothing short of total abstinence would make her happy and that I was utterly miserable.

In December 2018, I went diapered 24/7 and remain so today.

I'm still married but to be brutally honest, this hasn't been something that has made our relationship better or brought us together.  I wish I could say otherwise.  Perhaps in time she will grow to accept what I am or perhaps in time, I will succeed in scratching that itch some other way and will come back out of nappies to make her happier.  She thinks I prefer nappies to her.  In fact it has little to do with sex but there's no convincing her of that.

In the meantime, I can feel and see physiological dependency on diapers slowly creeping up on me.  Another year and I may not have the choice anymore anyway and I suspect a part of me wants that choice taken away because I don't want it. 

Good luck Ginger.

[Rob110]

 Deciding to wear 24/7 is a decision not to be taken lightly, I made the same decision 5 years ago when my OAB first started to act up and I do not regret the decision even though I have lost the remaining bladder control I had and now I feel I am on my way to bowel control loss as its a normal progression   of my IC issue. (Doctor snd urologist were not surprised or concerned when I last had a checkup)

 If you are experiencing involuntary bladder releases then thats a good reason to wear 24/7 and your boyfriend and family should understand,  just be sure its what you want as you will reach a point of no easy return to being dry.   Just sit your boyfriend down and explain you are having issues snd have decided to wear 24/7 to keep your pants dry and to remove the stress of not making it to the bathroom in time. 

 Being diapered 24/7 has not really stopped  me from doing anything other then swimming, but it does make travel more challenging when you need to make sure you have enough supplies. 

Hopefully your boyfriend understands and accepts your new diapered state since you have been wearing already it should make it an easier transition  

 .  

 

[lancerevolover]

Well I hope it works for you. I have never tried going 24/7 before, I restrict myself to wear only several times a week. Whenever I wear diapers, I like to wet them to the point that they flood. I am afraid of overindulging, getting caught, and weakening my bladder.

[DL-Boy]

@lancerevolover, just to be clear, wearing diapers doesn't weaken your bladder any more than wearing boxers instead of briefs, or granny panties instead of a thong.  The constant release of your bladder into the diapers is what will in time cause a weakened bladder due to it getting used to being empty.

[Ginger]

Thank you rob110! I think you are correct. I am working up the nerve to have a talk with him soon. Something tells me everything will be fine in that aspect.

[waddlergirl]

Binge and purge cycles I can well identify with the last one was pretty extended and I'm pretty much committed that this time will be permanent both my boyfriends know I like being in a diaper although neither really want involvement in it  this is difficult when you want to sleep in your diaper and he is not comfortable to be amorous with you when you are. Then I'm old and cynical and so is he.

Binge cycles bring me great pleasure especially in stressful times

[Ginger]

I really hope the cycles end and I can just finally use full-time. 

[lancerevolover]

2 hours ago, DL-Boy said:

@lancerevolover, just to be clear, wearing diapers doesn't weaken your bladder any more than wearing boxers instead of briefs, or granny panties instead of a thong.  The constant release of your bladder into the diapers is what will in time cause a weakened bladder due to it getting used to being empty.

I forgot to mention. Yes I tens to wet my diapers everytime I wear them.

[spark]

On 4/19/2020 at 10:12 AM, Ginger said:

Hello everyone! I'm new here but my whole life I've been a dl. As far back as I can remember I've had the desire to wear and use diapers. I've had alot of binge and purge cycles but I always come back. The last cycle I had I managed to go 24/7 for two months. Then quit when other life circumstances wouldn't allow. I'm back at it! This time, I feel like I am ready to commit and I don't want anything to stop me from embracing this need. It makes me feel complete and though I realize it will be difficult, I also know its what I need emotionally. I'm 35, female. My biggest concern is that my boyfriend won't accept it. He knows that I've been using pull ups and diapers during my period, and that I've had some wetting accidents. But I think he believes its only related to my monthly cycle. I'm looking for some advice as to how to bring this up to him as being a necessity to my life. From past training I've developed some functional incontinence, where if I'm wearing, my bladder will release on its own and I've had a few TINY messes while sleeping.(however, I think it was related to sleep meds) how can I relax and embrace this about myself and realize my dreams as well as let him know how important this is to me. He's rather vanilla and I don't know that he would like it. But also, he's not very sexual in the first place. Wearing and using isn't necessarily sexual for me, but comforting and fulfilling. I also notice while I'm wearing that my sex drive lowers. Which allows for me to be more on his level. When I'm not, all I want to do is have sex. Its strange. My dream is for him to accept me as diaper dependent and for me to lose control of both urinary and fecal. Honestly, I want to spend the rest of my life in diapers. But I also want him by my side. I will never be able to stop needing diapers in the way of emotional care. If I were to deny that aspect of me, it would be unhealthy. I guess I'm looking for advice and emotional support to help me during this time and along my way to dependence. Thank you! I'm very happy to be here and grateful for you all!!❤❤

Depending on the level of your relationship, it might be a good time to share those thoughts with him.   He is the one person, outside of yourself that truly does matter in this decision.

It sounds like you desire is to completely give in to diaper dependence, and I think the fact that you do have frequent messes in your diaper is a sign that your mentally prepared for that.   That's always been my hangup, and I'm not 100% diaper dependent despite approximately 5 years of 95% diaper wearing.   In my case- I'm blocked pooping in a diaper and maybe mess my diaper once a month.     I'm happy with that level of dependence.

I don't buy into the notion that 24/7 diaper use is a one-way street, nor is it something that we need to be careful should we choose that route.     Assuming that you don't do anything unnatural to harm your nerves and seek a short-cut, it takes so much mental conditioning to become 100% dependent on a diaper.     I don't think you could overcome the blocks if you didn't truly desire the out, and by the time you achieved it- you already understand the issues that 24/7 creates.   I think the same energy would be spent in reconditioning your to use the toilet should that come up afterwards.   However- since the desire to be diapered is genuine, it's unlikely we would be able to potty train ourselves if we didn't really want to be potty trained.

[jimpa]

If he's good with it, you're set. If not, he's not the one. I've had to learn that the hard way with the women I've loved and lost. You want someone who loves all of you.

[WetDad]

Ginger,

You did a very good job of telling us your feelings in a very open and non-confrontational way. I think you will be able to explain your feelings to him perfectly. IMO, he will be very understanding. Best wishes to you as you explain this to him. Let us know how it goes.

[oznl]

8 hours ago, Ginger said:

I really hope the cycles end and I can just finally use full-time. 

It IS something of a mental relief when you can stop thinking about when you must take your diaper off and whether or not you have sufficiently "covered your tracks" that you were wearing one, potentially outside the officially tolerated window.  Now I don't need to think about when my diaper experience will "end" because it doesn't.  The only thing that happens is a periodic diaper change and that does make me a happier person.  In my case, that relief was alloyed with other anxieties born of spousal resistance.

Thinking about it however, you have one powerful advantage over me:  your gender.  Possibly the principle objection that my wife has is that the mental image of me in a diaper under my pants undermines her image of me as a manly "protector and provider".  Comparing notes with others, I've discovered that this is far from an unusual scenario.  It's not universal by any means but nor is it rare.

You are not contradicting that cave-man (well, cave-woman really) dynamic.  I'm not saying that it's good that we should organise our lives like it was 3,000BC but it seems that in parts, our lizard-brain is still a thing.  It does seem that the female of the species is granted some social latitude with respect to age and gender norms.   That may not extend quite as far as 24x7 diaper use but at least the spectrum on which that extreme case sits enjoys some tolerance.

Another suggestion: would you consider moderating or even avoiding messy diapers for your partner?  A wet diaper is pretty easy to overlook.  Even my wife can pretend it's not there and (so long as it isn't leaking badly) it doesn't affect my ability to operate normally in a social environment at all really.  A messy diaper cannot really be totally effectively concealed and even within the confines of home, might be extremely confronting for your partner.  I "traded away" full diapers: partly so I could continue to move around freely in society and do my job, partly to make the whole diaper thing less objectionable to a very vanilla partner.  I won't say that the odd dirty diaper doesn't still happen where privacy and convenience conspire, but it's not an everyday thing.  Wet diapers happen anywhere, anytime.  That's the deal.

Anyway, let us know how you go.