Anna. (Complete)

[Newbee]

What an emotional ending.

[Sophie ♥]

Actually, we've got one post left.   Sorry if my other message was misleading.

I'm glad everyone is liking the story tho.  I'll finish it today.

[Sophie ♥]

///

Cho and Star spent the night together, though it was entirely harmless.  Cho left early in the morning to return home to change, meeting Star and the rest of the people at the funeral home on Fourth Street.  But Cho didn't go in.  Neither did Lindsay, who met up with Cho only a few minutes later.

I took them both by the hands and led them into the little room where people were crammed shoulder to shoulder. Along the front row, the left side was immediate family; Claire and Chloe were both dressed in black, and her grandparents were there, too. The right hand side was the contents of our table, with three chairs left closest to the aisle. I sat down and motioned for Cho and Linds to sit.  Most of the school was here and people expressed their grief in different ways; some wore black, some wore a tribute to Anna, like a band tee of someone she liked. There were six girls toward the front who wore their makeup exactly as Anna did - heavy on the eyeliner with a little tail at each edge.

"I thought I'd hate these people…" Lindsay was talking to both Cho and Star. "I thought I'd hate the people who would see this funeral… who would come here even if they hardly knew her.  But I find myself envious… because they're only mourning one person…" The three looked to the coffin at the front of the room with the giant blown-up picture next to it.  The coffin was closed, though.  To them, it seemed more honorable that way.  But Cho and Lindsay had trouble remembering the last time they saw me.  They wished they could've said something more profound.

I was the first to approach the podium once the minister had finished his initial words. I looked at Cho, at Lindsay, and at Chloe and Claire. I looked silently across all the eyes that felt the same pain I did and I wondered if any words at all would be enough to do her justice. The room was silent, and my cheeks were stained with tears now, but my voice didn’t waiver the entire time. "She lived. Honestly, truly lived. And words can't describe the hole she left behind. Nothing will fill the void. Nothing will close the gap. But we shouldn't try to. We shouldn't try and forget, because dying is just a transition. But forgetting someone means they're gone forever. So live. And remember." It may have been the only time in my life I didn’t ramble.  Then, I took my seat.

Linds went up next, biting her quivering lip as she looked over the audience.  What the hell was she supposed to say? "I… I've known Anna for as long as I can remember.  I've known her as long as I've known anyone.  She's been an amazing friend.  And she's taught me so much.  I'm… I'm so regretful that she can't teach me anything else, now, but I'm not going to forget her lessons.  I'm gonna pass them on to everyone I meet.  To my kids.  And anyone who will listen.  I'll talk about the values of people's lives.  And how one person in the world can be better than the world itself.  That was Anna… my Anna…" She had to step down, though, because she was crying too hard.  

Cho kissed her cheek and took her place, looking down at the podium as he spoke, and subsequently having to speak a little louder. "Doesn't it feel weird?  Like there's this… big empty spot?  Like there's a hole now?  And you sometimes expect a text from her when your phone rings or you think she'll be at lunch the next day at school?  And those thoughts won't go away, even though it's been a week already?  And isn't it weird that you don't want them to go away?  I hope when in two years at my graduation I expect to hear her name being called.  And I hope after that, at my wedding, I expect her to be in the front row.  Then when I'm having my fiftieth birthday party, I hope I'm expecting her to help me blow out the candles.  And I hope I expect her to help me with my math homework and help me pick out clothes for funerals.  And I hope every time I sit under a tree and reach over I expect to find her hand waiting for mine.  Because as long as I expect she'll be there… she always will be."

Chloe and Claire didn't talk ~ I'd spoken to them earlier and they'd declined the opportunity; how difficult it was for us it must have been a thousand times worse for her parents. So after we spoke, after the three of us said what we had to say, the minister took the podium again and finished the proceedings with comforting words.  I thought about final things in my life; would I want to be buried or cremated? Thrown to sea? Anna had made it clear she wanted to go to ashes, that she wanted to leave something behind for those who loved her. The music began to play and the emptiness that was the end of a funeral began to set it. It was the last moment the Teletubby group would spend together.  Cho was cuddled up to my chest and sobbing, and Linds clung to my other arm. Here I was, apparently the strong one. She'd be proud of me.

The wake was somehow more crowded than the ceremony itself and Claire and Chloe held it at our house.  Nothing was different, though, other than Claire didn't cook for once.  There was a spread of food on the dining room table and board upon board of photographs lined the free walls of our living room.  That's where Linds went first - she could find herself in half the pictures.  A tall girl next to a short brunette.  "This one is Juliet." Cho stepped up and agreed with Linds' assessment, explaining it to Star, their hands still intertwined. "It's the lipstick.  She was always so flashy."

My head felt somewhere between a headache and unconscious, like that space that should be occupied by pain was now only a void of emptiness that wasn't allowed to be occupied by anything else. Being strong was exhausting, and though Cho had convinced me to come to the wake… all I wanted to do was lay in bed and dream, and think about the girl I'd lost. We stood by the photos and my eyes carried across the pin-board. Anna. Anna. Juliet. Anna. Juliet. It was so obvious to me now - why hadn't it been then? The energy was gone from my words and even moving my lips seemed arduous. "It was Juliet, the first day I started school here. She kissed me."

"Sounds like her," Linds said in a small amused tone.  She didn't look up from the pictures though. "All the mirrors.  Jeeze." Linds pointed out the pictures one by one taken near or through reflections. "Juliet liked mirrors.  Anna hated pictures all together." "This one, Linds, remember this one?" Cho stepped up to one of the boards and pointed to a picture of him and me comparing heights.  He always was a few millimeters taller. "You took that one." Linds smile was almost sincere.  It was strange how the nostalgia made her feel.  So miserable, but so happy.  All the wonderful memories rushing back.

They had years of memories with the girl that I'd known for only a fraction of a moment in my life. And though the two of them could draw solace from that library of experiences, I had so very little. Somewhere mid-conversation, I stepped away from the two and found myself sitting down next to Claire at the outdoor setting.

Chloe had only attended the wake only as long as to give pleasantries to the people who showed up, then retired to her room.  But Claire was a much better host.  Still, it didn't deter the woman from sipping her fourth glass of wine and opting to sit alone outside in the late October winds.  When Star sat down, she welcomed him with a smile.

"What happened, Claire? If you don't mind me asking. I did a little bit of reading… about what you said. About her break. What I read said that there was usually a catalyst…" My gaze didn't meet the woman's eyes as she turned to look at me, and I continued softly. "Do you mind telling me?"

"Anna was the happiest kid I've ever known.  So incredibly cheerful.  Always optimistic.  I'm sure you know that, though.  I'm sure you also know how fragile she can be.  She's easily frustrated.  Runs away from anything she can't deal with… it's a lot of the reason she had trouble in school…" Claire wasn't sure exactly how much she was getting across, though.  She knew what she was saying was a precursor to answering Star's questions, but it was difficult for her not to get wrapped up in the memories.

What do you do to comfort an adult? Claire was like me in a lot of ways, and just like me she was the one that people looked up to, the one relied upon to be the 'strong one' of a group. So I put my arm around her and I cuddled up close to her shoulder. Which I guess was odd, because I was never so affectionate with my own Mom. Then again, I adored Claire and Chloe both. So I smiled and nodded, and I listened to her as she spoke. "I wish I'd known her sooner in life, you know…? I'm not arrogant enough to think I could have saved her, but maybe all it would have taken was one more person to care. She's so lucky, Claire. She has the best parents I've ever met, and some of the best friends, too…"

Claire put her head sideways onto Star's shoulder and smiled a bit.  It was nice to have someone to take care of her for a moment, even if it was fleeting. "When Anna was ten, we went camping north of Meadow Brook.  It was a weekend thing with her, me, Chloe and Chloe's parents.  Anna wasn't very outdoorsy, but she loved exploring.  We thought Chloe's parents were watching her, and they thought the same of us.  So she wandered.  We searched for her for days… we knew nothing dangerous was in the woods, but Anna was young.  Chloe and I went six days without our daughter and that's the longest we'd ever gone.  Until tomorrow… that'll be seven."

“The only number that matters is how many wonderful days you got to share with your daughter, not how many days without." I didn't like to lecture or be preachy and I was careful never to be in any way condescending. But right now? I was strong for her. I was here for her. It's what a good friend does, and it's what Anna would have wanted. "So, alone in the woods for six days… what happened?" Based on what I'd read, it wasn't difficult to figure out the pieces to the puzzle, but I wanted to hear it from Claire. I wanted her to tell her daughter's story.

"A couple found her… they were just walking through the woods.  She was really finicky for a few days after getting home, but it didn't take her more than a week to start acting like Anna again.  She had trouble talking at first, but it wasn't long before Chloe and I put our worries to rest.  Some things were different, though.  She liked to talk to herself, but we didn't find it that weird.  She never dated anyone, but she was still young.  And she rarely got frustrated anymore… whenever it would flare up, she's just find herself very determined.  She aged and she changed a little more, but that's puberty.  She became more reckless, more direct, wouldn't think things through.  And around fifteen she'd get bouts of severe depression and would hurt herself… that's when we took her to the hospital.  And you know the rest…” Claire's voice trailed off and she finished her glass of wine.  No doubt, she was thinking about the things she could've done differently, maybe have been a better parent, but the idea of guilt and blame was a dead concept to both my parents.  They'd gotten over those fears long ago.  And now all that was left was sadness.

"She was so afraid of being alone… and you can't run from loneliness. So she adapted…" It wasn't anything that the two of us didn't know now, but saying it out loud made it so visceral. Juliet had been her savior, had been the one that kept her from falling apart and losing herself. Juliet was her sword and her shield. And in context of everything I knew about both girls, the origin of the one who loved me made such perfect sense. We sat there in the chilled air together, my head on the woman's shoulder and hers resting against me for a time, before I finally spoke again. "Some stories end sooner than others, but the length of a story doesn't define its grandeur. Its the words on the pages. She's so lucky to have you both. You are the best parents I've ever met." It seemed such little solace in words, but what words even meant a thing at a time like this? Still, she needed to hear it.

"Thank you, Star." Claire smiled up at the boy and kissed his forehead, then climbed to her feet and looked back into the house through the glass door wall. "I'm going to check on Chloe.  You should find your friends.  And please, come by and visit sometimes." Claire gave Star a small wave and left him alone on the porch.

///

"Where've you been?" Cho locked his fingers with Star and tugged him through the living room. "Come on, come on.  I wanna show you."

"Just getting some fresh air, you know…" My voice had a little more spark to it than when I'd left and I guess that was a product of having to be strong again. Cho's hand was in mine and I wondered if I'd have to keep a little strength for him, too, but he seemed almost giddy. "I'm coming, I'm coming, what's the rush?" He gave me a pouty expression and I relented, hurrying behind the boy at his quickened pace.

Cho pulled Star back to the fourteen boards of pictures that lined the walls and pointed to the second from the right.  Linds, it seemed, had moved on from the picture boards and the only people who were standing around were strangers to both the two boys.  Cho made sure they got in close and pointed to a small four-picture photo set near the bottom of Star and myself, though it wasn't me who was in the picture with him.  Juliet and Star both smiled at the camera, but it was too close to have been taken by someone else.  The colorful sheets of my bed lined the background and Star's left thumbnail was painted sparkly purple. "That's you."

When did we…? I leaned in close with a look of bewilderment and looked at the set of photos to work out when it had been taken… "This is… the first time we went flying together…" I didn't remember taking it, but then again, we were high. It was so clear to me to look at it, too, though to anybody else it just looked like we were both extraordinarily happy. A happy couple. Like any other. An image of a future that could have been but never was. "I… I…" It was only now that I realized I was crying. Not just crying, either, but bawling my red-rimmed eyes out as I pulled Cho close. "I made her so happy…"

Cho gave Star a warm smile and held him best he could despite his size.  Cho was kind enough to take him away from the board, though, and sit him on the couch.  They sat there for a long time, until the room thinned of people and Lindsay finally found her way back.  Cho played with Star's hair and Linds sat down next to the two boys. "I'm glad we came here." It was Linds that spoke.  Cho still hadn't said a word since Star had made his realization.

Despite my tears, despite my exhaustion, despite the fact I'd spent all day feeling like a sink-hole with the plug removed… I was glad we did, too. I looked up at Linds and smiled as best I could manage, though my cheeks were red from the trails of tears and I could barely manage words above a hoarse whisper. “I’ll never forget her…”

///

"Thank you for coming by." It was Claire who welcomed them.  It was three days after the wake and Lindsay still had not dropped by, but Cho and Star made it a ritual.  They sat on the couch and Claire made small finger sandwiches for the two boys, sitting on the couch opposite them. "Where's Chloe?" Claire smiled at Cho's question and looked out the back window. "She prays a lot.  It's difficult for her…" But the cracks in Claire's usually perfect facade had become much more visible.  It wasn't only difficult for my dark-haired mother.  I was Claire's daughter too.

"Is there anything we can do to help? And I don't just mean for Chloe…" Claire tried so very hard to pass things off as though she as coping, but the truth of the matter was she was falling apart just as badly as Chloe; she just kept it all inside. "You two are beautiful people, Claire. You raised a beautiful daughter. And I don't mean superficially. I mean literally. I've grown up with bad parents, and I… I was always so jealous that she had you both. You're the most amazing parents I've ever met. So if I can help…" I squeezed Cho's hand in mine and smiled as strongly as I could manage, looking at the boy and then at Claire. “If there's anything we can do… please let us."

Claire looked contemplative for a moment, looking at the living room carpet.  Finally she spoke up. "We want to pack up her room.  Not the furniture.  Just her stuff.  We'll go through it one day, but right now, we just can't… so if you'd like to…" Cho nodded quickly, getting up from the couch and heading up the stairs, first passing the fireplace and each of two urns.  It was Chloe's idea.  That way, we could finally rest.

///

"We used to lay in her bed together, with the curtains closed and fly." My hands traced the material of the curtains and I looked at Cho with a little smile on my face. "You should have seen her the first time. She was so stressed and she was chain smoking so I told her I had a better idea. Can you imagine what an amazing mind like hers must have seen when she was on mushrooms, Cho? I've been giving it a lot of thought, and I think that day we took the photos was the second time I met Juliet."

"Second time?" The shorter boy started packing my belongings into cardboard boxes.  It was evident that my parents had already made attempts, but had clearly failed.  Cho packed my clothes first, making sure to search my underwear drawer for anything I might not want my parents seeing.  But there was nothing.  I was a very simple girl.

I thought about it with a little smile and nodded my head, "The first day I was at school, the day we met. I think I met Juliet that day, because she kissed me." I picked through her nail polishes and found the sparkly purple one that we'd worn the first time I'd painted our thumbs. With a casual motion, I slipped it into my pocket. She'd have wanted me to have it. "I don't think she was afraid of dying, because you see some incredible things when you're flying, Cho. And maybe she already saw Heaven the first time we flew together. Maybe she knew where she was going. The first time we did it together, I saw her with a halo. She would lay down and her hair flowed into water. That's why I used to call her Angel. Guess I never realized how true that would be…"

"Come on, Star.  Let's keep packing." Cho didn't mind Star talking about Juliet the way he did, but he had learned to read the boy over the past few weeks and he wanted to avoid too much introspection.  So they spent most of the afternoon there and reminisced of Juliet and me like we were sisters rather than the same person.  Eventually, though, the sun began to set and it cast the room in shadows.  The boys vowed to come back the next day, but when they went to tell my parents, they were in the backyard on their knees in the grass.  Claire and Chloe, much like Star, were not very religious people.  But they couldn't bear the thought of their daughter having gone nowhere, so they knelt and they prayed.

I took Cho by the hand and we knelt quietly behind the two grieving mothers for a time. I didn't know how to pray, so I thought about all the things I wanted to say to Anna but never got the chance. I told her how Cho and I were closer than ever this past week. That we decided if we got together and had kids, we'd name them Anna and Juliet. And I told her how much I missed her. We got up and I kissed Chloe and Claire's cheeks from behind and led Cho out the front door.

"Kinda weird, isn't it? You feel like a story ended, but you know yours has so much longer to go. You're not leaving me, are you, Cho? I wanna write my story with you. And when we see Anna, and Juliet? I want them to be proud of us for the words we wrote in life.”

Cho nodded and slipped his fingers in between Star's as they left my house. "I'm not going anywhere, yet.  But when we do, I know they'll be proud of us."

I always had faith in my parents, and my friends, and especially in Star.  I knew they'd make me proud, and I believed it more than anything.  They'd all live amazing lives, together or apart.  And when they finally found me again, they'd have amazing stories to tell.  I would miss them until that time came, but they missed me already.  And goodbyes work both ways.

[End.]
 

[Baby Billy]

Please I want to read the end and hope I don't cry again while doing so.   so want Star to get with Annas moms.

[Sophie ♥]

6 minutes ago, Baby Billy said:

Please I want to read the end and hope I don't cry again while doing so.   so want Star to get with Annas moms.

Posted!  Good luck!  

[Baby Billy]

OK I loved it but in the end tears were in my eyes.

[Baby Billy]

I have been on this site for a few year and read many stories. Some of them have been vert well written an kept my interest as they were posted.  If it was not you both writing this I may dismissed it after a while, but I like your work. Yes I  did cry at the end.  I cry at hallmark movies to.  I still wished that Star moved in with her moms, it would have helped them all to move forward and s\keep Anna in their hearts.  So sad though, will be hard to forget this.  I know know where Juliet came from, she was the strong one to get Anna over her fears. 

[Sophie ♥]

20 minutes ago, Baby Billy said:

I have been on this site for a few year and read many stories. Some of them have been vert well written an kept my interest as they were posted.  If it was not you both writing this I may dismissed it after a while, but I like your work. Yes I  did cry at the end.  I cry at hallmark movies to.  I still wished that Star moved in with her moms, it would have helped them all to move forward and s\keep Anna in their hearts.  So sad though, will be hard to forget this.  I know know where Juliet came from, she was the strong one to get Anna over her fears. 

I'm so glad you enjoyed the story!  

Chloe and Claire are among my FAVORITE characters!  I think they are both very diverse personalities, but both amazing parents in their own way.  I also love the 'story' of how they gave birth to Anna, since they are both women. XD  It's such a cute family dynamic!  Honestly, hurting them like this is so devastating.  But in-canon, they do adopt a few children after the end of the story!  Two kids, whom they raise very well and love very much.

Star does continue to visit Chloe and Claire for years after this.  Though his family moves again, he doesn't.  He finishes high school and gets a job and crashes with some friends until he can buy his own space.  His parents never fight him on leaving the household, because arguments are against their nature.  Star becomes sort of an uncle to Chloe and Claire's children and he likes to tell stories of their "big sisters" Juliet and Anna.

[Baby Billy]

Thank you that helps a little.  Love you all

[Wannatripbaby]

1 hour ago, Sophie ♥ said:

Star does continue to visit Chloe and Claire for years after this.  Though his family moves again, he doesn't.  He finishes high school and gets a job and crashes with some friends until he can buy his own space.  His parents never fight him on leaving the household, because arguments are against their nature.  Star becomes sort of an uncle to Chloe and Claire's children and he likes to tell stories of their "big sisters" Juliet and Anna.

That is just beautiful. ♡♡♡

[Sophie ♥]

Now that the story is over!  Does anyone think they know which scenes/personality quirks are Anna's?  And which one's are Juliet's?  

Also, I wonder if anyone has theories on who her birth parent/parents are!  

[CDfm]

I can’t understand why you two are trying to make me cry all the time. Especially here at work. I have a uniform on and I am armed. I am supposed to be a big strong guy keeping the bad guys under control and yet I find myself crying like a little child who was fallen down scraping my knees.  Once again you two have produced a magnificent story. Words can’t do it justice and a simple like seems very insignificant as far as praise. Thank you both for the amazing stories you share. 

[Sophie ♥]

28 minutes ago, CDfm said:

I can’t understand why you two are trying to make me cry all the time. Especially here at work. I have a uniform on and I am armed. I am supposed to be a big strong guy keeping the bad guys under control and yet I find myself crying like a little child who was fallen down scraping my knees.  Once again you two have produced a magnificent story. Words can’t do it justice and a simple like seems very insignificant as far as praise. Thank you both for the amazing stories you share. 

o////////o

Thank you for such wonderful praise... I can't even express how important this kind of stuff is to us. >///< We weren't even going to POST this story, and it got such wonderful feedback.  We might post another story in the future that isn't ABDL!

[Wannatripbaby]

8 hours ago, Sophie ♥ said:

We might post another story in the future that isn't ABDL!

Yes yes yes! Please do! Anything from you 2 is gonna be gold! ♡♡♡♡♡

[Lizzy]

Wow Sophie what a ride. Honestly I'm going to have to reread this now to see if I can pick out who is who at each point between Anna and Juliet among other questions that come to mind. I do like how you draw things to a close at the end giving a sense of hope and closure at the same time.