Mind Of The Mommy

[Pipsqueak]

This topic has been plaguing me for awhile. As an AB, I understand my wants and needs but when it comes to what Mommies get out of a relationship I'm stymied. I can make all sorts of guesses but that's really all they are.

I would love for all the Mommies that frequent the board to write about what they get out of having a relationship with an adult baby, however, I know that there aren't too many of them on the board, so barring that ideal scenario, maybe those of you who have Mommies can tell us what your Mommy says about the topic. Is it the power exchange? The closeness and vulnerability? Daddies are welcome to comment too as it will be interesting to see how similar or different their responses are to the Mommies.

Now for the mommyless babies who are inclined to GUESS because they want to be included -- stuff your pacifier in your mouth and let the Mommies and Daddies (or their respective baby mouthpieces, talk!

[b0xer21]

awesome question, i look forward to seeing the replies.

[Repaid1]

I'll not speak for my mommie unless she wants me too, when she get's home from work tonight I'll ask her if she will drop a line in and read the thread.

[jenniebear]

Pipsqueak

This is something that i've asked my Daddy many times...because i have a hard time understanding it as well. i guess His reply for me never really makes it much clearer .. even though it's what He feels i guess i have a hard time believing it.......or relating to it....

Like repaid i'll ask Daddy again...maybe He will take a few minutes to post it Himself....

What i do know about Him is that it's about "power exchange" yes........but most importantly for Him is His need to be in control of the situation. The worst or most threatening thought to Him must be "being left in the dark"....He want's to know what to expect at all times.....and what better way to know at all times what to expect then to be the Daddy/Dom and set the rules and expectations of His baby/slave.....

Of course it's a "love/worship" sort of thing too.......but i think that the "setting expectations" thing is what brings Him to the Dom role to begin with.....

Before me He wasn't a Daddy so i've cast Him into that role....and DaddyDom and abdl Daddy are quite a bit different in their "appreciation" for diapers....but in other aspects it's very much the same....

[Pipsqueak]

Mommies and Daddies ... Here's your chance to be heard over all the baby babble! Come out, come out wherever you are! Please.

[enfant]

I'm sorry not to see more posts in this topic. It's an especially good question because whatever mommies find rewarding, we babies should be striving to provide as much as possible. Mommies are worth their weight in gold!

As for me, I'm not a mommy or daddy, but I've discussed this subject with some people who are, and there are two answers I've heard that stuck in my head. One is my wife's answer, which is that she enjoys what it does to me. I imagine it's like giving a backrub or something--not necessarily enjoyable in its own right, exactly, but delightful when you see the effect it has on the person you love.

The other was a woman who (unlike most I've met), had the fantasy of babying men before she ever knew there were men who wanted to be babied. What she said was, "For me, it's all about regression." She found the transformation erotic--taking a big strong man and seeing him turn weak and helpless. (If any of you have read my story "The Mommy Makers", the main female character was partly based on her.)

[Repaid1]

Mommy is still trying to find the time and words to post. She found the first topic of the thread somewhat vague in nature. Whatever that meant? She said (to me) That while I was the first to her (AB), that she loved me. She understood this was a part of me and something I needed, so why wouldn't she do it. As far as what she get's out of it for herself, I couldn't answer. But I can derive from what she told me about it, that she get's the feeling of "doing" one of her responsiblities in this relationship. Just as I know what I have to do to make her happy as well, hey adult time isn't the worst thing in the world!

[Mommie]

I was a "Mommie" at one time and I hope to be again but I guess I can tell you from what I have experienced. I had met this guy off one of those yahoo diaper groups about two years ago and we talked and he was pretty much into the diapers only although he NEVER tried diapers..he had always wanted to but never had the chance...he was 19 and still lived at home with his parents and had hid this from them.We finally met at my house and when I met him I instantly had a mommy connection for him..even though I was 28 ...he looked literally like he was 13 or 14 instead 19 and looked like a member of a boy band...totally cute.I was actually suprised to think that someone that cute could be into diapers...he had blonde hair w/highlights and baby blue eyes and he was extremely short *for a guy*like maybe 5'2 or 5'3 and little (small enough to be able to wear size 6's and also small adult diapers which really made it even more realistic)Anyways the first time we hung out it was more of an experience for both of us considering I had never been a mommie before and he had never been diapered before so therefore it was a bonding experience for us since I was his first mommie and he was my first AB...although it didnt start off with him being an AB... just someone who wanted to try diapers is all.He totally loved it and I wasnt as nervous as I thought I would diapering another person that WASNT a real infant.It was fun and we hung out again but by the second time we hung out and it was all either of us could think about so we took it further and I totally got to baby him in everyway...diapering,bottle and breastfeeding,cuddling,holding,putting him to sleep ...etc etc....It truly made me feel like a mommie and I loved it.Ive always been the nurturing caring person so therefore it was easy for me to be a momme which is cool because I dont ever want to have to switch roles because im definetly not the type to be into diapers and etc...just changing them ;)Overall It was nice to be able to care for someone in that special way.I totally enjoyed it and I hope to have more experiences in the future but for now it was something that I will totally always remember.Well I dont know if this is what you wanted but that pretty much sums it up for me.

[Pipsqueak]

Thank you, Mommie! That's pretty much what I was asking. It's sometimes to difficult to know because, of course, everyone is unique in what they think and feel. Hopefully some more Mommies and Daddies will respond with how it feels to them.

Hope you find that special baby! You sound like a lovely mommy!

[BabyThorp]

This is just like this REALLY old post but I got sidetracked and noticed that there was only one mommy who responded. Even though my mommy doesn't post here, I have permission to write something and she has approved it or you wouldn't be reading it.

My mommy found she liked men in diapers at an early age. She dated a man who was into wearing and being a baby while she was still under 20. It didn't work out but what she discovered was that she found it really HOT to see a man in a diaper. She had other babies and her feelings evolved. She was married but not to an AB and it didn't work out. Then she went out actively seeking the perfect man and the perfect AB. Well I don't think I'm either one of those things but she found me and mentally adopted me. Sex is and was a significant part of our mutual attraction. Before we married we had long discussions about our relationship. It was important to her that I learn to obey her. She found being in charge exhilarating. As she frequently puts it "I am the boss of you." I told her that I didn't know if I could switch back and forth obeying her and alternately making family decisions that she would have to live with. She told me that she wanted/needed to be in charge/control of everything. I quickly agreed because I don't think I'm great at that anyway. I thought that was part of what was wrong with my last marriage. She just wanted to be the regular parent, the head of the house, the one who signs first on the tax return, the one who arranges the house mortgage, etc. She told me that she wanted me to be her baby. She told me she wanted me in diapers 24/7/365. I told her I didn't know if I could do that and she agreed that we would start out with nights and weekends. She wanted to raise me. She wanted to get my breakfast, decide what I would wear, make decisions as my parent. Finally we started to get to the root. She felt this huge maternal urge. She felt like she needed to mother me. She told me that when she looked at me she just saw a two year old. We had these long discussions about how I felt like I had been cheated out of being a baby by my maternal mother. I told her that I felt this strong urge to be a baby. I'm sure that had affected my wetting problems. I felt like I was stuck in development until I could be a baby. I agreed to give up my adult privileges, she agreed to be my regular mommy. I don't think we had it thought out all the way but I got married in a diaper and onesie under my tux and said the traditional vows of "love and obey"

A couple of other things. Early on she started punishing me with traditional children's punishments when I disobeyed her or otherwise was naughty. She believes in spanking and she spanks me. When she first told me she was going to spank me I sort of grinned. My idea was that this was going to be some hot foreplay like I had experienced with other women. It wasn't. She had me held down so I couldn't stop my spanking. It really hurt and before it was over I broke down and cried out of guilt and pain. Then when it was over the most marvelous thing happened. She cuddled me and held me and explained that she only spanked me because she loved me so much. Crying on her shoulder for joy I had this burst of love. I loved her as my parent. No more guilt, my punishment was over. She has since told me that it actually turns her on to spank me and then cuddle me. That revelation disturbed me just a little. It isn't a turn-on for me. I really really hurts and I feel like a child when she spanks me. I guess that is the point. I love my "burst of love" when the spanking is finished. I love the way she is different after spanking me and the way it takes my guilt. Sometimes when she is angry with me and storming around I ask her to spank me. I know I need it and it changes everything when it is over.

I think she really feels maternal. She really likes shopping for me. At first she would buy adult clothes but lately she gets so much joy out of shopping for baby clothes for me. She REALLY wanted to breast feed me but of course that would be very difficult. But she found this device that a mommy can wear that is for mothers who don't make enough milk. It is this pouch that you fill with formula and then a very small soft clear capillary tube that lays alongside the breast and into the babies mouth. When I suck on her breast, I get formula. I can't really tell that it isn't coming from the breast. She really likes this. We haven't talked about it but I think it makes her feel maternal.

Really a complex subject. I wish mommy would just sign up and tell you herself. Oh well.

Baby

[sarah_ab]

BT about the breast feeding thing, there are ways she can trick her body into lactating. The most effective method i've heard about is buying a breast pump and using it on her breasts 3-5 times a day at the exact same time everyday, and after about 6-8 weeks (usually from what i've read) the woman's body will think she is supposed to be producing milk and will start lactating, as long as you continue to breast feed, and she continues to pump her milk whe she can't be with breast feed, the mother will continue to lactate. ALthough this does depend on the age of the woman and whether she has gone through menopause or not.

But i've not just read about this on ab/dl websites but on medical sites as well.

[mommyluv]

Whats it like for a mommy?

I would have to say that to be a mommy to an AB person can be a challenge. Especailly if you were not accustomed to the lifestyle as i was at first. But sometimes the nurtruing process in a mommy will take over( as in my case) and i was able to "work with it" for lack of a better word. Tho my AB/roomate had her "adult life". The mommy side of me always took over in caring for her. Yes I fed/diaperd her to her hearts content, the nurturing side of me was always there. Tho we had a falling out and she is no longer in my life, and my mommy side got put on hold. It took me a while to find someone who had been looking for a mommy and when i did "find him" i decided to let him in. Tho its been a long distance relationship for a while now, we talk and he knows his mommy loves him and someday i will be able to mommy him to his hearts content.

[BabyThorp]

Sara, that's interesting. I had never heard that. I heard that it could be done with hormones but my mommy would never do that and I don't want her to. Do you remember what site it was?

Mommyluv, That's sweet. I know you are a good mommy. The hardest adjustment for my mommy was shifting her view of me. I mean from the very first she sees me as two but naturally you treat a big person different than a toddler. She had to shift the way she talked to me and viewed me. I think the thing that she likes the most is that she can make me behave the way she wants me to. In any adult relationship there has to be give and take and it seems like it is more give than take. In a parent child relationship the only requirement is that the parent spend time teaching and moulding the child. It took my parent a little while to realize the power of being the parent. She tells me what I have to do or what to wear and I have to do it. I can be beligerant and refuse but she can force me whether I like it or not. In the beginning I was beigerant. I used to confront her when I didn't like her decisions. I learned that hard way that it is far worse punishment when you defy that when you comply. I used to get spanked a LOT at first. Like 2 or 3 times a day. It's a lot better now. I only get spanked one or twice a week. Early she settled more than one argument over her knee. Now when she tells me what I did wrong and to get over her knee, I don't even hesitate. I've been so conditioned to crying when she spanks me that the tears well up in my eyes and I get a lump in my throat. The first tears fall when I lean over her knee. It takes her about five minutes to spank me. The effect lasts for days. She told me that's a really good ratio, five minutes for days of good behavior. She has a motto now. "Spank early, spank often."

Baby

[Creepymouse]

Sara, that's interesting. I had never heard that. I heard that it could be done with hormones but my mommy would never do that and I don't want her to. Baby

Mommy and I have tried that, but sadly haven't had much luck. She's on the Nuvaring, and apparently the hormones in it trick the body into thinking its already pregnant.

Some women can lactate in weeks, others may require drugs to help, but its really very healthy for her and whoever consumes the milk. The biggest issue though is consistency, it has to be every day, every 3-4 hours no exceptions, it works even better if that includes the middle of the night. It sounds like a rigorous schedule, but if, like us, you really want a nursing relationship, the lasting bond will be worth every moment. We can't risk her getting pregnant right now, otherwise she would go off the ring and on domperidone in a snap.

You both might (or might not) enjoy the possibility of breast growth, since the glands develop as they did when she was a teen, so her breasts will get more firm and likely bigger. If she really likes the idea, I frequent a website called 'the Land of Milk and Honey' and a yahoo group called SNC, the Society of Nursing Couples. (o)(o)

[pax87]

sorry to be off topic but pffft to the induced lactation. As long as a woman's milk ducts are properly functioning she can lactate. Granted when a woman becomes pregnant the hormones in her body help her gradually prepare for the birth of a child.

I have read that some birth control pills can actually cause lactation because of the hormones that are released from the pill. I think its called yeaz or something similar to that name. Pills and herbs aren't needed to induce though. It's the stimulation of the breast, specifically the milk ducts, that causes a woman to lactate. The female's body is built so that if there is a need to supply milk then it will do so. If a woman who IS lactating wants to produce more milk she would increase the length of time nursing per each breast and possibly add in another scheduled nursing. On average, from what I've read, nursing 3 to 5 times a day with 15 to 20 minute nursing sessions per breast for a few months will result in milk. The more you dry nurse the quicker milk will develop.

Eventually, if you do happen to miss a (dry) nursing session the female's breasts will become sore and almost unbearable until she nurses someone. Same goes to when she is producing milk. This is VERY common when trying to induce. At the same time it's a sign that you and your partner are that much closer to milk production.

That is pretty how it's done.

There are tons of websites on ANR (adult nursing relationships) and ABR (adult breastfeeding relationships). There is only one thing that MOST people don't think about and that is the commitment level for an ANR/ABR. You cannot miss a nursing session because it causes extreme discomfort to the woman who is lactating. As with a bottle feeding, you can stop and be "grown up" from time to time. With an ANR/ABR you just can't. Many a times I've read where couples have just fallen apart because they couldn't commit to it or because the woman lactating felt like a milk maid.

Obviously I have researched this in depth. I'm more into ANR than my AB side

[packrat]

Thanks for the info PAX87. I was completely unaware of ANR's. Very interesting committment level necessary for the successful relationship.

[sarah_ab]

yep cause even if the woman isn't actively nursing a person/child, she will need to take time out of work to pump her breasts so the pain goes away!!!

[texansfan]

I enjoy being a daddy because it makes me feel good. Being in control is part of it but at the same time it's not because I'm the one spoiling him, I'm the one feeding him bathing him etc and I feel like he's partly in control of me. I hate having to punish him because it does hurt me but I do it because I love him. When I dress him in one of his sleepers or his snuggle bag and put him down in his crib for the night I feel an overwhelming sense of love for him. I spent nearly thirty minutes just standing there watching him sleep last night because he just looked so peaceful, and I thought to myself "I'm part of that. I'm part of the reason he's so relaxed, why he feels so safe and secure." and it just felt incredible. And when I'm just having a bad day and everything's going wrong, he'll sit next to me and hug and cuddle me and I just feel so much better it's hard to describe. I don't know if there are words to describe how awesome it is to have a baby to take care of no matter how big they are. *hugs all the ab's* Thanks for making the lives of us mommies and daddies better.

[BabyThorp]

sorry to be off topic but pffft to the induced lactation. As long as a woman's milk ducts are properly functioning she can lactate. Granted when a woman becomes pregnant the hormones in her body help her gradually prepare for the birth of a child.

I have read that some birth control pills can actually cause lactation because of the hormones that are released from the pill. I think its called yeaz or something similar to that name. Pills and herbs aren't needed to induce though. It's the stimulation of the breast, specifically the milk ducts, that causes a woman to lactate. The female's body is built so that if there is a need to supply milk then it will do so. If a woman who IS lactating wants to produce more milk she would increase the length of time nursing per each breast and possibly add in another scheduled nursing. On average, from what I've read, nursing 3 to 5 times a day with 15 to 20 minute nursing sessions per breast for a few months will result in milk. The more you dry nurse the quicker milk will develop.

Eventually, if you do happen to miss a (dry) nursing session the female's breasts will become sore and almost unbearable until she nurses someone. Same goes to when she is producing milk. This is VERY common when trying to induce. At the same time it's a sign that you and your partner are that much closer to milk production.

That is pretty how it's done.

There are tons of websites on ANR (adult nursing relationships) and ABR (adult breastfeeding relationships). There is only one thing that MOST people don't think about and that is the commitment level for an ANR/ABR. You cannot miss a nursing session because it causes extreme discomfort to the woman who is lactating. As with a bottle feeding, you can stop and be "grown up" from time to time. With an ANR/ABR you just can't. Many a times I've read where couples have just fallen apart because they couldn't commit to it or because the woman lactating felt like a milk maid.

Obviously I have researched this in depth. I'm more into ANR than my AB side

Wow. I didn't know all of that. This sort of coincides with some experience we had. We have this nursing system that is made for mothers who don't produce enough milk. It is basically a really small almost capillary tube that is laid alongside the breast during nursing. The idea is that it supplements the natural milk. Well we had a regular routine and multiple times a day and after a couple of months, I swear I thought there was something more than the formula. And to top it off if we got off schedule she hurt. We stopped because we/I didn't want to hurt her. We must have been like right on the verge. Wow. I never knew.

Baby

[Creepymouse]

As long as a woman's milk ducts are properly functioning she can lactate.

Pax, that's not exactly true. There are many women who turn to Domperidone because they have been unable to lactate through stimulation alone. Case in point, if she has functioning mammary glands but a 'broken' pituitary gland, the hormones required for lactation will be absent, and thus it would be necessary in that case to supplement. My mommy is on Nuvaring, which DOES interfere with lactation in many cases.

Anyway, this probably should go in a new thread, but it did kinda fit in.