My girlfriend and i

[Behr3323]

My girlfriend and I have been dating for a little over 6 months. The last weekend we went ring shopping and picked out the engagement ring I’m currently paying for. I recently told her I’m a DL and about some of my past and at first she was super supportive. Then when we were facing timing I went to switch off my light and she saw me in a diaper and it freaked her out. I want to make sure I don’t push her at all. I don’t believe she’ll ever be into wearing or me wearing around her. For me I’m not really sure why it is because it’s not really sexual and that’s her biggest concern is she will I longer be attracted to me because of them. I just am looking for advice on how to proceed with her and also how to accept myself. I’m 6,1 205 and her athletic. I played two college sports and this makes me feel pathetic and less of a man. Help

[Tk421]

Hi Behr,

I can very much relate to your situation in a lot of ways. I too have struggled with self acceptance and with worries over my wife's acceptance. Being AB/DL or any variation of our community is hard, especially when it comes to relationships. I have good and bad news to share with you. First the good, you have made it past what is probably going to be the hardest part which is telling her that you are AB/DL. The bad news is that you may have a long road ahead of you. It may take months or possibly a couple of years for your girlfriend to fully come to terms with this but that's alright. The worst thing you can do is make her feel pressured or rushed into thos, give her space but be open with her. 

Self acceptance is a gratual process and sadly is not an over night thing. I listened to a AB/DL postcast  https://www.thelittlelounge.com , Lo's podcast has helped me in a major way for self acceptance. Most episodes are around 20 minutes long and are very helpful. I suggest looking through the episodes and finding some the pertain to you and your situation. 

[Behr3323]

Hey TK,

 Thank you, I appreciate that. I told her today I don’t want to talk about it anymore and I got what I needed too off my chest. I am instead doing a journal and giving her full access to it if she feel like she wants to read some of it. This will allow me to vent to her and also be able to talk on here to express how I feel  and how I’m progressing. I just don’t want to make her feel Like she has to be apart of this because of me. I want her to express herself in her own way and that’s with me but I might need private moments.

[DiaperedAllTheTime]

6 hours ago, Behr3323 said:

My girlfriend and I have been dating for a little over 6 months. The last weekend we went ring shopping and picked out the engagement ring I’m currently paying for. I recently told her I’m a DL and about some of my past and at first she was super supportive. Then when we were facing timing I went to switch off my light and she saw me in a diaper and it freaked her out. I want to make sure I don’t push her at all. I don’t believe she’ll ever be into wearing or me wearing around her. For me I’m not really sure why it is because it’s not really sexual and that’s her biggest concern is she will I longer be attracted to me because of them. I just am looking for advice on how to proceed with her and also how to accept myself. I’m 6,1 205 and her athletic. I played two college sports and this makes me feel pathetic and less of a man. Help

I am so sorry to hear this.  I know through experience what you are feeling right now.  I wrote something that may help give you some advice.  Not everything in my article will apply to your particular situation but some things will.  I hope things work out.

 

[drynot]

I hate to say it but you might have a real tough road ahead of you.  I think most of us here would likely try to give up wearing if a partner wanted us to but its tough to change.  I don't know all the ins and outs about the human experience....but having a fetish or desire of this nature just isn't a simple thing to abandon.

Given that your girlfriend isn't too happy with your diaper wearing I think there is very little you can do to convince her of anything different.  She obviously is into you and finds you attractive so I hope she doesn't see you wearing diapers as a deal breaker.  You're right in taking a slow approach and are not looking to pressure her into anything she doesn't want to do as this will just lead to resentment on both sides.

Good luck.  I hope you guys can come to some sort of amicable compromise.

[PittPadded]

Does she have a specific concern that is making her "freak out" as you say, such as it being gross or seeming like it might signify pedophilia?  You said she was supportive at first, so maybe actually witnessing you wearing was too much.  If it stays a problem, maybe educate her a bit about what the community is like so she'll know that plenty of others are into the same thing.

[DiaperedAllTheTime]

I know for my wife she felt that diapers had replaced her and that I loved an inanimate object more than her.  When she started researching about the ABDL lifestyle she learned more and became more understanding.  She also knows and believes now that my desires to wear diapers will simply not go away and she has learned to accept it.

There are so many things most woman have to fight through internally to accept their male partner wearing diapers.  Evolution even tells her to find the strongest genes and a partner wearing diapers or acting as a baby simply does not usually meet her genetic requirements.  Add to the fact that woman have motherly instinct.  This is the most desired thing as an ABDL IF your partner accepts you.  Everyone wants a Mommy or Daddy.  This works against you however if your female partner does not accept you wearing diapers.  She goes in to protection mode and asks herself do I want my baby's daddy and my child both wearing diapers???  It is a tough place to be for both involved and I can say that with first hand experience.  

With that said my wife was where your girlfriend is now.  But guess what?  I now am basically unpotty trained and wear diapers permanently.  She loves me unconditionally and accepts my need to be in diapers.  Our relationship today is the best it has ever been.  Things can get better so this does not mean that your relationship is necessarily over.

[willnotwill]

I waited nearly 11 years before proposing, but it was less than a month from when her divorce got finalized.

[Tk421]

Let's keep comment on topic, he didn't ask for opinions on his engagement.

[Bettypooh]

If there is to be a successful future, she is going to have to fully understand that while you can control some aspects of this, there cannot and will not ever be a complete stopping. And she need to understand that this is her only chance to make a life-long decision on this so she needs to be sure. If she seems uncertain I'd wait till she's sure or look elsewhere if I didn't want to wait. Marriage is committing to give up your absolute power of decision to your partner, and vice-versa. Only in immoral or illegal things does a participant in a marriage have the right to demand a stopping; you are committing to find your way through everything else together as one no matter what that is or how tough things get. It's paramount that anything in either partner which might be a deal-breaker be known, discussed, and agreed upon beforehand- otherwise start saving for a divorce lawyer now because you'll likely need them.

Bettypooh

[incondl]

I think that once you've realized that diapers/abdl/incontinence or whatever you are into there probably won't be any turning back. It's probably part of you and what you are. To keep it hidden in the back of your mind may be the wrong thing to do because it very well could resurface years later and after other commitments are made. Your partner needs to understand this before commitments may be broken. And that helps nobody.