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mamabug

Pointless Mommy Rant

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It’s been quite a while since I actually made of these post, probably over a year.  I feel like they only come up with certain issues need to be addressed, and I feel like it’s been about that time again! We have a lot of new members so many people probably haven’t read my original posts on the topics, and I know that my bio doesn’t go into too deep, so I figured, why not.

Enough rambling. Let’s get to the juicy stuff.

There are 2 things that I want to address here today.

First, I get a lot of comments from people who wonder why I’m here if I don’t wear diapers.

It’s because I’m a mommy. Duh.

Just kidding. I know there are a lot of other doms/switches that wear. There is a simple reason why I don’t wear diapers.

They’re humiliating.

Let me explain. Diapers mean different things to different people. Some people find it for comfort, some people in need, and some people find them sexual.

I look at diapers as a humiliation aspect. Now, that might sound, wrong, but I’m a sadist – so I’m all for humiliating. It’s amazing.

However, I myself, do not wish to be humiliated. Why would I want to wear something that makes me feel like that? (As I am a dom, I totally understand people like to feel humiliated, obviously.  lol)

For every reason that you like to wear diapers – the feelings I would get for wearing would be the exact opposite. Comprehendo?

And number two

Although for some people, I’m like this rare unicorn they wish they could have. Just keep in mind – that in fact, I think you’re really lucky, and I’m a bit jealous of you.

Whoa. Crazy right? How could I be jealous of you?!

Easy.

Even if having a partner that will indulge you in this lifestyle (in whatever way you want) is your ultimate dream/fantasy, at the end of the day – you can still do stuff with your lifestyle. You can still wear diapers; you can still buy all the baby clothes of your hearts contents. You can pretend and play all you want. Of course, it would be nice to have someone there to care for you, but in the end, you get some satisfaction.

But, from a dom mommy who doesn’t wear diapers – I absolutely cannot enjoy this fetish on my own.

And even shocker alert.

I’ve actually never fully experienced this fetish with anyone else before (I know. Blasphemy, right?)

And I hear you “oh, but you have the choice of millions of guys.”

But, you know, let’s just for humor sake, we pretend that some people have a preference for a person they want to do ‘fetish’ stuff with ;) 

So, with that said, this whole post was just basically me complaining (okay not really lol. I’ve grown accustomed to it)

I just wanted to show that mommies/daddies and caregivers are just much invested in this fetish as you and it’s not always that glamorous. We’re normal people too!

Except me, because I really am a unicorn :P 

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Very interesting post.  I'm getting a Rika vibe from your post (digimon season 3,she was the best tamer in the world and every digimon wanted her to tame them) and since Rika was based off Trinity from The Matrix i can say you perfect fill "boss women" roll perfectly.  You bring up a great point, since your not a switch you need someone else they don't "need" you.  Really goes into the psychology of the dom/sub relation that the sub is always the one truly in charge.  It's easy for people to say, "oh, but you have the choice of millions of guys."  The truth though is that there is a thing called too much choice.  When people are given too many choices they can tend to freeze up and be afraid to make any choice.  I have never met another ABDL in real life so i can only imagine what it's like when you can't even explore your fetish without someone else.  Finding the right person is hard for any ABDL, we have you find someone that will accept us wearing diapers but you have it worse you have to find someone that will let you put them in diapers. 

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Mamabug, I’m sure you get lots of that sort of silly flack, (why are you here, you don’t wear). But not all of us, have such narrow views. I for one, feel you should be very welcome here, or any similar site. The underlining fact is, you are here, and you have made a choice to be. 

Now, as for your being a Mommy, and looking for some satisfaction of your own, on your own. That is a tough one. About the only thing you can do, is some kinda role play on line. I realize the limitations, and dangers of that. So, it does indeed kinda suck, even for a unicorn. I guess, all a unicorn mommy can do is, take stock in feeling good, about what she does for others. Know that your little ones are happy. Sometimes, the little ones wish mommy could be happy on her own too. 

Is there any green grass, anywhere? 

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10 hours ago, Guilyn said:

Very interesting post.  I'm getting a Rika vibe from your post (digimon season 3,she was the best tamer in the world and every digimon wanted her to tame them) and since Rika was based off Trinity from The Matrix i can say you perfect fill "boss women" roll perfectly.  You bring up a great point, since your not a switch you need someone else they don't "need" you.  Really goes into the psychology of the dom/sub relation that the sub is always the one truly in charge.  It's easy for people to say, "oh, but you have the choice of millions of guys."  The truth though is that there is a thing called too much choice.  When people are given too many choices they can tend to freeze up and be afraid to make any choice.  I have never met another ABDL in real life so i can only imagine what it's like when you can't even explore your fetish without someone else.  Finding the right person is hard for any ABDL, we have you find someone that will accept us wearing diapers but you have it worse you have to find someone that will let you put them in diapers. 

"Boss woman" wouldn't really be me either. I guess that's where another assumption begins is people believe I'm a dom 24/7 and that is not the case. If you met me, you would think I was  a sub based on my behavior. I'm only a dom in the bedroom. And it's not because there is so many choices that I "freeze up" and afraid. It's quite simple. I'm not going to date someone, because we share a similar fetish. That's just icing on the cake. There is so many other important things out there that I believe alot of people with this fetish seem to over look (and perhaps with other fetishes too, who knows) 

And exactly! LOL. Most of my partners knew about my fetish, but when I told them, I had to strictly tell them that I wasn't asking them to participate. Some of them said they would, but it never got that far. 

9 hours ago, AbabeBill said:

Mamabug, I’m sure you get lots of that sort of silly flack, (why are you here, you don’t wear). But not all of us, have such narrow views. I for one, feel you should be very welcome here, or any similar site. The underlining fact is, you are here, and you have made a choice to be. 

Now, as for your being a Mommy, and looking for some satisfaction of your own, on your own. That is a tough one. About the only thing you can do, is some kinda role play on line. I realize the limitations, and dangers of that. So, it does indeed kinda suck, even for a unicorn. I guess, all a unicorn mommy can do is, take stock in feeling good, about what she does for others. Know that your little ones are happy. Sometimes, the little ones wish mommy could be happy on her own too. 

Is there any green grass, anywhere? 

I mean, that kinda goes with my earlier statement. Just like i wouldn't date or have sex with someone who has the same fetish with me, it feels pointless to sext as well. Like, I still actively can't enjoy this fetish on my own. I'm not trying to complain about it, I'm just trying to shed some light on the stuff that we have to face as well. And not everything is sunshine and rainbows LOL

 

 

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I feel you on BOTH of those points.

I sometimes feel a bit awkward when meeting new people in this community (I've kinda appointed myself the "unofficial greeter" of DD) And they say they're "looking for friends with similar interests" Or they ask me how I became a DL.

You are also VERY right about ABs being the lucky ones. Being a Daddy without a Little feels horrible. Like you're missing a part of yourself. And I can't just "go out" and "meet somebody" because life circumstances preclude me starting a relationship with anyone. And that's aside from the fact that I'm an introvert who sometimes borders on anti-social. I've never so much as dated a girl! And I'm expected to just find some random stranger online and offer to change their diapers?

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58 minutes ago, Wannatripbaby said:

I feel you on BOTH of those points.

I sometimes feel a bit awkward when meeting new people in this community (I've kinda appointed myself the "unofficial greeter" of DD) And they say they're "looking for friends with similar interests" Or they ask me how I became a DL.

You are also VERY right about ABs being the lucky ones. Being a Daddy without a Little feels horrible. Like you're missing a part of yourself. And I can't just "go out" and "meet somebody" because life circumstances preclude me starting a relationship with anyone. And that's aside from the fact that I'm an introvert who sometimes borders on anti-social. I've never so much as dated a girl! And I'm expected to just find some random stranger online and offer to change their diapers?

I cannot like this comment enough lol

EXACTLY, my point though. It gets trying that people think that because I'm a mommy that I have "millions of people" to choose from. Great. So I can find someone who is interested in diapers. What else? Is that all to a relationship? For me, I never searched for an ABDL relationship. I found people that I had  chemistry and similar interest and whatnot. Sadly, most of those relationships were with doms or with vanillas, but it is what it is.

There is this huge stigma (and I don't know why) that mommies/daddies have like a dungeon full of little and we have all this experience. That may be true for some (especially Pro mommy/daddies) but that's not the case for everyone - AND certainly isn't that way for me.

I mean, it may be kind of hypocritical for me to say all this, seeing how I actually found someone on here that I consider my best friend and are seeing where things go. But that was after 2 years of talking, and talking about things outside of the fetish. Relationships where 2 people have similar fetishes can obviously happen, but it can't be forced and there needs to be other similarities and chemistry for it to work

 

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7 minutes ago, mamabug said:

I cannot like this comment enough lol

EXACTLY, my point though. It gets trying that people think that because I'm a mommy that I have "millions of people" to choose from. Great. So I can find someone who is interested in diapers. What else? Is that all to a relationship? For me, I never searched for an ABDL relationship. I found people that I had  chemistry and similar interest and whatnot. Sadly, most of those relationships were with doms or with vanillas, but it is what it is.

There is this huge stigma (and I don't know why) that mommies/daddies have like a dungeon full of little and we have all this experience. That may be true for some (especially Pro mommy/daddies) but that's not the case for everyone - AND certainly isn't that way for me.

I mean, it may be kind of hypocritical for me to say all this, seeing how I actually found someone on here that I consider my best friend and are seeing where things go. But that was after 2 years of talking, and talking about things outside of the fetish. Relationships where 2 people have similar fetishes can obviously happen, but it can't be forced and there needs to be other similarities and chemistry for it to work

 

I believe it's because the Caretaker/Dom role is generally considered to be the "harder" or "less desirable" role. Kinda like with Tabletop RPGs. It's a LOT easier to find players than it is to find people willing to be the GM. Since there are (or at least seem to be) a lot more Littles than there are Bigs, it is assumed that the law of Supply & Demand applies to our role in this fetish.

I actually met someone about 2 months ago here on DD and she asked me to be her Online Daddy. Well, I never even knew that was a thing! But since I seem to be a lot more comfortable dealing with people online than in real life I was willing to give it a try. Thankfully she understood that I had no Daddy experience and was willing to help me learn. Long story short she's made me deliriously happy and I now have, not one, but THREE Online Littles whom I love dearly. ♡

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8 minutes ago, Wannatripbaby said:

I believe it's because the Caretaker/Dom role is generally considered to be the "harder" or "less desirable" role. Kinda like with Tabletop RPGs. It's a LOT easier to find players than it is to find people willing to be the GM. Since there are (or at least seem to be) a lot more Littles than there are Bigs, it is assumed that the law of Supply & Demand applies to our role in this fetish.

I actually met someone about 2 months ago here on DD and she asked me to be her Online Daddy. Well, I never even knew that was a thing! But since I seem to be a lot more comfortable dealing with people online than in real life I was willing to give it a try. Thankfully she understood that I had no Daddy experience and was willing to help me learn. Long story short she's made me deliriously happy and I now have, not one, but THREE Online Littles whom I love dearly. ♡

And I totally get that. I understand that there are less mommies/daddies compared to AB's and DL's and whatever else in-between. 

Nothing wrong with that, everyone has their own preference. :)

I know there is a lot of people on here that have online Mommies/daddies or little. But, for me that runs into the same problem as I brought up before...even if it is online...there isn't much I can get out of that situation. More like sexual frustration. Don't get me wrong, I have tried it before, but I realized, I want a real relationship with someone in RL - of course not bashing anyone who does online stuff, it's whatever floats peoples boats.

I'm also a one guy at a time kinda gal. LOL

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10 minutes ago, mamabug said:

I'm also a one guy at a time kinda gal. LOL

Oh! I feel I should clarify that these aren't in any way romantic relationships. All 3 of my girls are either engaged or lesbians or both. :/ It isn't so much about the fetish as it is about needing somebody out there who cares about them. Someone they can turn to in times of need. In fact, with one of my girls it started out with me just reaching out to her when she asked for advice and it organically grew into a CG/L type of relationship over time. It goes deeper than diapers. I would treat all 3 of my girls the exact some way even if they weren't ABs because I genuinely love them like my own daughters.

3 daughters at 22 years old. Not bad, eh? :)

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10 minutes ago, Wannatripbaby said:

Oh! I feel I should clarify that these aren't in any way romantic relationships. All 3 of my girls are either engaged or lesbians or both. :/ It isn't so much about the fetish as it is about needing somebody out there who cares about them. Someone they can turn to in times of need. In fact, with one of my girls it started out with me just reaching out to her when she asked for advice and it organically grew into a CG/L type of relationship over time. It goes deeper than diapers. I would treat all 3 of my girls the exact some way even if they weren't ABs because I genuinely love them like my own daughters.

3 daughters at 22 years old. Not bad, eh? :)

LOL no, not bad. And I wasn't trying to insinuate in your case it was like that. 

But, for me, this fetish is 100% sexual. So if I have a "little" then yeah, it's kinda has to be like that. I don't consider myself a CG. I suppose if it was an CG, then I wouldn't mind so much having a little or two online (but probably wouldn't either way) 

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6 minutes ago, mamabug said:

LOL no, not bad. And I wasn't trying to insinuate in your case it was like that. 

But, for me, this fetish is 100% sexual. So if I have a "little" then yeah, it's kinda has to be like that. I don't consider myself a CG. I suppose if it was an CG, then I wouldn't mind so much having a little or two online (but probably wouldn't either way) 

Yeah, I don't imagine an Online Dom would work very well. :/ 

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This is an abdl site so I don't see why people would give you a hard time. Your a Dom and don't wear diapers I see no issue. I've never seemed someone who shares the same fetish I've only dated vanilla's and I never had any real problems. There is alot to relationships than what goes on in the bedroom. Your more than welcome to vent and we will always listen. We are here for you and anyone who needs advice or a person to vent to.

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I feel this is the girl in a bar effect. If a guy walks in a bar and says he's horny and wants sexy he's ignored, if a girl walks in and says she's horny everyone will jump up to "help."  This makes many guys feel it's easier for a girl to get a guy, which on the surface that might be true she isn't looking for just anyone.  I can't speak for everyone but for me diapers are such a main part of my life any relationship i have diapers will have to be involved or at least accepted. Thus it's easier to look for someone in the ABDL community to begin with rather then risking falling for someone that you find out later can't accept your diaper side.  In your case wanting to diaper them side.  Here's the real question though, could you live with a relationship forever (or a very long time) with someone that could never accept your dom side?

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1 hour ago, Guilyn said:

I feel this is the girl in a bar effect. If a guy walks in a bar and says he's horny and wants sexy he's ignored, if a girl walks in and says she's horny everyone will jump up to "help."  This makes many guys feel it's easier for a girl to get a guy, which on the surface that might be true she isn't looking for just anyone.  I can't speak for everyone but for me diapers are such a main part of my life any relationship i have diapers will have to be involved or at least accepted. Thus it's easier to look for someone in the ABDL community to begin with rather then risking falling for someone that you find out later can't accept your diaper side.  In your case wanting to diaper them side.  Here's the real question though, could you live with a relationship forever (or a very long time) with someone that could never accept your dom side?

I mean that is true. If I wanted it, I could easily get it. I wouldn't have to work for it as hard as a male would. I am not arguing with that concept. But, just because I have that part easy, doesn't mean I want it. Many times have I been the 'object' to be desired or wanted, JUST because of my status as a dom and/or mommy. Not because of who I am as a person. It's pretty awful to be honest. 

And to answer your question, yes. So long as they accept who I am and that it won't change, then I could be with someone who wasn't into ABDL stuff or wasn't a sub. The person that I'm into now that is ABDL, we both stated plenty of times, that if for some reason one of us decided we weren't into it - we would still want to be together, because guess what, being a dom mommy is a VERY small part of who I am.

It's more like the icing on the cake. I think that's what alot of people get wrong here. yeah, in an ideal world it would be great to find a person that not only accepts your fetish, but indulges in it. 

But, it's not a necessity. It's a part of who I am. It will never change. I'll always be a dom and into diapers. But, it would never be a deal breaker for me, either. (so long as they accept it. If they don't, then I would kick them to the curb LOL)

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Yeah, the thing with me and my wife is we're best friends and we enjoy being around each other.  The fact that she knows all of my fetish buttons to push is awesome, but it's more important that we're friends and lovers BESIDES the fact that we do ABDL stuff.

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The fact that you could have a long term relationship wish someone who isn't a sub/switch/ABDL is a strength. My diapers are as much a part of me as any other part of my personality, I couldn't have a long term relationship if diapers were a "no-go."  While it does suck looking for a sub at least you can live without one.

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48 minutes ago, Guilyn said:

The fact that you could have a long term relationship wish someone who isn't a sub/switch/ABDL is a strength. My diapers are as much a part of me as any other part of my personality, I couldn't have a long term relationship if diapers were a "no-go."  While it does suck looking for a sub at least you can live without one.

No offense, but I kind of find that sad. So you're saying if you met someone that fit all your every other want/need, they fully accepted that you wore diapers, but they themselves weren't into it - that would be a deal breaker?

Yeah, no. I think that is what alot of people get wrong here. I think they search for the wrong things in a relationship. My sex life doesn't define me who I am. It would also, to me at least, be pretty sad if I let a fetish take over a majority of my life as well.

I just feel like there is more to life than just diapers, no matter how amazing they are lol.

If I have a partner that loves me for me, accepts me who I am, and is everything else I need or want - then why would I be selfish and crave more?

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1 hour ago, Guilyn said:

The fact that you could have a long term relationship wish someone who isn't a sub/switch/ABDL is a strength. My diapers are as much a part of me as any other part of my personality, I couldn't have a long term relationship if diapers were a "no-go."  While it does suck looking for a sub at least you can live without one.

25 minutes ago, mamabug said:

No offense, but I kind of find that sad. So you're saying if you met someone that fit all your every other want/need, they fully accepted that you wore diapers, but they themselves weren't into it - that would be a deal breaker?

Yeah, no. I think that is what alot of people get wrong here. I think they search for the wrong things in a relationship. My sex life doesn't define me who I am. It would also, to me at least, be pretty sad if I let a fetish take over a majority of my life as well.

I just feel like there is more to life than just diapers, no matter how amazing they are lol.

If I have a partner that loves me for me, accepts me who I am, and is everything else I need or want - then why would I be selfish and crave more?

I'm sort of between these two. Been married for five years now with a woman who fulfills every need and checks every box except this one. It's not a deal breaker obviously, but it's tough to not feel dejected every once in awhile. Yes, I can enjoy it on my own, but being in a committed relationship means (at least, for me) that I WANT to share what makes me happy with her.

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7 minutes ago, haemon said:

I'm sort of between these two. Been married for five years now with a woman who fulfills every need and checks every box except this one. It's not a deal breaker obviously, but it's tough to not feel dejected every once in awhile. Yes, I can enjoy it on my own, but being in a committed relationship means (at least, for me) that I WANT to share what makes me happy with her.

I mean, I totally get that. I'm not saying it's wrong not to have those feelings or even search or prefer a partner that's into the same fetish - but I'm assuming your wife is okay with you wearing diapers? I mean as you said, least you can do it on your own. Most people would be happy to have someone that even accepted them for who they are.

This is all coming from someone who cannot do her fetish, UNLESS I have a wiling partner. And I mean, you never know, things can change down the road and people are more willing to try new things.

I just don't think it should be a huge priority nor should be a deal breaker. 

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57 minutes ago, mamabug said:

No offense, but I kind of find that sad. So you're saying if you met someone that fit all your every other want/need, they fully accepted that you wore diapers, but they themselves weren't into it - that would be a deal breaker?

Yes it is sad, but I think there is a little confusion on my part.  Let's say I found the perfect person and they were fine with me wearing diapers around the house or to bed, but they didn't want to change me to play "mommy."  I could work with that, it wouldn't be a deal breaker.  On the other hand if I met the perfect someone and they were fine with me loving diapers but never wanted to see them at all let alone me in them that would be a deal breaker for me.  To me I would never want to be with someone that shallow.  What if I was incontinent and had to wear diapers?  That kinda of shallowness would be a deal breaker for me.  Diapers for me aren't just sexual to me, if someone came and cut it off and I was left a eunuch I would still wear diapers.  When I was 15 I figured I would live my life alone and I've accepted that reality, if I felt I needed to be with someone to be happy I would make myself incontinent so anyone I start a relationship with knew from the get go I would have a padded ass for live.

If I start a relationship with someone who can't accept my diapers then I have wasted my time and ever worse wasted theirs.  Everyone is searching for Mr./Mrs Right and any time I spend with someone who I know I won't truly commit to is selfish of me and unforgivable for their time I've wasted in their search.

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36 minutes ago, mamabug said:

I mean, I totally get that. I'm not saying it's wrong not to have those feelings or even search or prefer a partner that's into the same fetish - but I'm assuming your wife is okay with you wearing diapers? I mean as you said, least you can do it on your own. Most people would be happy to have someone that even accepted them for who they are.

This is all coming from someone who cannot do her fetish, UNLESS I have a wiling partner. And I mean, you never know, things can change down the road and people are more willing to try new things.

I just don't think it should be a huge priority nor should be a deal breaker. 

I agree, it wasn't a deal breaker for me, after all. Yeah, she's OK with it, but non-participatory. I'm sorry you haven't found what you're looking for! I hope it gets better for you :-)

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40 minutes ago, Guilyn said:

Yes it is sad, but I think there is a little confusion on my part.  Let's say I found the perfect person and they were fine with me wearing diapers around the house or to bed, but they didn't want to change me to play "mommy."  I could work with that, it wouldn't be a deal breaker.  On the other hand if I met the perfect someone and they were fine with me loving diapers but never wanted to see them at all let alone me in them that would be a deal breaker for me.  To me I would never want to be with someone that shallow.  What if I was incontinent and had to wear diapers?  That kinda of shallowness would be a deal breaker for me.  Diapers for me aren't just sexual to me, if someone came and cut it off and I was left a eunuch I would still wear diapers.  When I was 15 I figured I would live my life alone and I've accepted that reality, if I felt I needed to be with someone to be happy I would make myself incontinent so anyone I start a relationship with knew from the get go I would have a padded ass for live.

If I start a relationship with someone who can't accept my diapers then I have wasted my time and ever worse wasted theirs.  Everyone is searching for Mr./Mrs Right and any time I spend with someone who I know I won't truly commit to is selfish of me and unforgivable for their time I've wasted in their search.

Of course! I stated before that so long as they accepted, it was fine. If someone can't accept who you are - then they're obviously not the right person. 

 

26 minutes ago, haemon said:

I agree, it wasn't a deal breaker for me, after all. Yeah, she's OK with it, but non-participatory. I'm sorry you haven't found what you're looking for! I hope it gets better for you :-)

I actually have found what I was looking for, but even if I did eventually find someone ABDL, my opinion is still valid and I still mean what I said. Even if he wasn't into diapers, I would still want to be with him. 

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I think many abdls on here don't get relationship dynamics. They are hard. Abdls vary too and it is great to find a mommy that complements your interests in diapers, but none of that matters if you can't be compatible in a relationship.

Awhile back when I was dating, I looked for people with an interest in BDSM who were also dominant, because I also had interests in BDSM as well. I did not look on any dating websites though.

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Not trying to hijack this thread, although it may seem like I am once I make my point. xD So, without further ado...

On 4/18/2018 at 7:49 PM, mamabug said:

No offense, but I kind of find that sad. So you're saying if you met someone that fit all your every other want/need, they fully accepted that you wore diapers, but they themselves weren't into it - that would be a deal breaker?

Yeah, no. I think that is what alot of people get wrong here. I think they search for the wrong things in a relationship. My sex life doesn't define me who I am. It would also, to me at least, be pretty sad if I let a fetish take over a majority of my life as well.

I just feel like there is more to life than just diapers, no matter how amazing they are lol.

If I have a partner that loves me for me, accepts me who I am, and is everything else I need or want - then why would I be selfish and crave more?

For some of us, it really is an ingrained part of our personality. For me, it stems from trauma. Specifically, when I was going to therapy my therapist said that it was my way of coping with abuse--to slip into that fantasy world where I had someone to care for me. The abuse started at the latest when I was four, so the coping mechanisms have their hooks deep into me. Basically, I don't think I could be in a relationship where my lover wasn't my mommy, because of psychological reasons I would be happy to go into, but won't for the sake of brevity unless asked.

It's not that I would crave more, and nor would I demand to be cared for full time (even I don't want that, and I've got attachment issues out the yin yang). It's that I literally need something like that in a relationship or it's going to be a very short and very messy one because I will project that role as a psychological necessity. The alternative would require me to literally bottle everything up emotionally to prevent the attachment, and that leads to be being distant and inattentive, and quite possible incapable of affection.

I mean, I hate to say it, but what I need from a lover, from a woman I would be attracted to would be for her to essentially be a mommy to me as well. It is sad, it's a reason why I'll be 32 this year and still have only had one partner who I dated for like, 2 months in my mid-twenties. I never really felt any affection for her at all, because she couldn't fulfill that very basic need of mine psychologically.

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5 hours ago, Denube said:

Not trying to hijack this thread, although it may seem like I am once I make my point. xD So, without further ado...

For some of us, it really is an ingrained part of our personality. For me, it stems from trauma. Specifically, when I was going to therapy my therapist said that it was my way of coping with abuse--to slip into that fantasy world where I had someone to care for me. The abuse started at the latest when I was four, so the coping mechanisms have their hooks deep into me. Basically, I don't think I could be in a relationship where my lover wasn't my mommy, because of psychological reasons I would be happy to go into, but won't for the sake of brevity unless asked.

It's not that I would crave more, and nor would I demand to be cared for full time (even I don't want that, and I've got attachment issues out the yin yang). It's that I literally need something like that in a relationship or it's going to be a very short and very messy one because I will project that role as a psychological necessity. The alternative would require me to literally bottle everything up emotionally to prevent the attachment, and that leads to be being distant and inattentive, and quite possible incapable of affection.

I mean, I hate to say it, but what I need from a lover, from a woman I would be attracted to would be for her to essentially be a mommy to me as well. It is sad, it's a reason why I'll be 32 this year and still have only had one partner who I dated for like, 2 months in my mid-twenties. I never really felt any affection for her at all, because she couldn't fulfill that very basic need of mine psychologically.

I completely understand that people wear and like diapers for different reasons. I do know that it's not always sexual for some people. I know some people use it for comfort. I know that there are people that have suffered abuse. I have too, but the abuse I suffered has nothing to do with my diaper fetish.

I think for alot of people, they look at those type of relationships like "what will I get out of this?" when people randomly ask me to be their mommy, I will ask them "what will I get out of it?" and they are completely stumped! It's like they never think of the other person. Just because I'm a mommy, doesn't mean I want to be a mommy 24/7, That's crazy. 

I also believe that if people have psychological reasons like that, THOSE need to be worked on BEFORE getting in a relationship, because even if you do find a woman who is okay with being a mommy, it could still cause problems. And I'm saying this from a perspective from someone who has some messed up issues (again not related to diapers lol)

I mean, I totally understand the concept of wanting a partner that is into your thing, regardless if it's for sexual pleasures or for comfort/need. It still doesn't change my point. Relationships aren't a one-way street. It's not always "How will this benefit myself" it's way more, in debt, and having an ABDL part at the very top, regardless if it's a big part of your life or not, for me, is rather unhealthy. 

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