Why Is A Diaper Fetish Considered Unusual?

[diapersareawesome]

It seems to me that more men are into the diaper lover adult baby thing than women. It just seems that way from what I've noticed. Does anyone agree or disagree? Also on another note, the whole idea of a diaper fetish is unusal for the majority of the population anyway but what I can't understand is why it's such a big deal. I man I don't see why I should really feel all that strange (and I don't anymore) about walking in public with a diaper and wetting it, I mean no one looks at goths or any other "unusual" things like that weird why is this any different?

[Morv]

I'll take a shot at some of these.

Yes, I think more men are into the diaper thing, and though I believe that women are under-represented in many online communities, I still think the majority are men. I also believe that this is logical. For many, being an AB or DL is about escaping to a place (mentally) in which they are taken care of, in which they immitate a level of safety and security from earlier in life. It is a place that is free from the necessities of every day life, away from responsibility and expectations. It is a place where one can be protected and cared for.

Though our society has done much in the ways of equalizing the roles of men and women (this is a whole different topic of conversation), I believe that men are still brought up, in general, to believe that they have to be the strong, to be protectors that don't have or show weakness. Men don't cry and such what not. I believe that for many men, the AB/DL experience is a way of experiencing the things that protectors and bread-winners don't.

Think of the typical movie that our culture produces. How often is it that you see a man break down and cry and it is a woman who wraps her arms around him until he is alright? And how often is it that you've seen the opposite? More or less, I believe that more men are AB/DLs to experience feelings that culture deems atypical for their gender roles than women for the same reason. I am in no way suggesting that this is the only reason that people are AB/DLs.

I'm not sure I made my point terribly eloquently, but I hope I got the general idea through.

There are fundamental differences between being being a goth and an AB or DL. Some of the more notable ones include the fact that diapers already are used in our society for people that can't control their bowels or bladder, and typically this is something that is associated with the extremely old or young. Hence, there are pre-existing associations, such as "he's wearing a diaper, he is going to pee or poop in it," which may to conclusions such as, "Sometime in the near future, that person might start smelling bad due to human waste in their pants." Goths do not wear clothing that is associated with another stage of life and another place in society. I could say more, and probably will after there's more replies and I have more to contemplate. (There are many other ways in which being a goth and being a AB or DL differ.)

Also, quite simply, I'm pretty sure there's more goths than AB/DLs, but I could be wrong.

[lordmole]

It seems to me that more men are into the diaper lover adult baby thing than women. It just seems that way from what I've noticed. Does anyone agree or disagree? Also on another note, the whole idea of a diaper fetish is unusal for the majority of the population anyway but what I can't understand is why it's such a big deal. I man I don't see why I should really feel all that strange (and I don't anymore) about walking in public with a diaper and wetting it, I mean no one looks at goths or any other "unusual" things like that weird why is this any different?

People do look weird at goths, or people who are dressed in black completely. Heck, they're even scared of me, and then they don't even know I walk around and sleep in dresses or that I am an adult baby (though some people find that 'cute'). It is in most people's nature to be afraid of what they do not know, or of uncommon things. Also, they might not even notice you're wearing a diaper if you wear loose clothing like me (which i've always done, I don't do it because of the diapers).

[turtlepins]

Morv makes some very good points. My wife and I have talked about this often. I think the whole diaper fetish idea is threatening to women, and embarrassing for men. It's threatening to women because of sexual prejudices and possibly the fear of failure or trading a boyfriend/husband/wife relationship with a mommy/baby relationship. Many women think men who love to wear diapers (but are not incontinent) have some deep seated need that they are unable to meet. If they are mothers, they wonder how they failed their sons. Men, on the other hand, are embarrassed by the idea of infantilism. I'm surprised that psychology is just beginning to study infantilism and the AB/DL community. So far they are sharply divided in their views of the fetish. It will be interesting to see how it all pans out in the end. I became incontinent when I was 12, and for the first month of school got "pantsed" (had my pants pulled down) just about every day. I got over being embarrassed about having to wear diapers pretty quickly. Wearing diapers certainly seems a lot less harmless than other fetishes! And who cares if some guy wants to wear a baby doll dress and rhumba pants? Personally, I think it's kind of cute. But then, I'm a diaper lover for life I guess.

[Lord_Azagathorn]

My take on it is to do with the social conditioning, similar to what Morv said. However, when you dig deeper, it isnt just diaper's which are taboo, it is almost any 'alternative' expression of being different which gets demonized. Has anyone ever heard of David Icke? A truely excellent author, talks about the Illuminati conspiracy, etc. Well, his take on social conditioning is so spot on. In order to control the sheep herd, you need very strict rules of what is considered:

Sane and Insane

Possible and Impossible

Moral and Immoral

If anyone goes against these social norms, then they are jumped upon by the rest of the sheep who are happy to be conditioned. We are all very unique people, every single human has a different take on life. Sometimes we find people with similar interests and desires, which just goes to show, with the diaper thing, how 'insane' it is. There are hundreds of users posting on this forum... I guess we should all be carted off to the nut house! Hmmmm, padded walls

[Morv]

I'll never deny that I'm off my rocker, but I don't think that this site or my diaper interest has anything to do with that.

[DarylLyn]

In addition to the whole "be a man" thing, most often, male & female, the infantilism fetish shows up in those who's lives are based on control / responsibility. IE: air traffic controlers, bus drivers, high level executives. When someone has the responsibility for hundreds / thousands of people in their hands, it is highly stressfull, and inorder to balance this, there must be an extreme swing in the opposite direction. After 8 hours directing the flow of money for a multimillion dollar deal, then after work, it feels good to just let go. I seriously doubt that the parks and rec groundskeeper who's responsibility is the grass and trees would be an infantilist by night, but I suspect that the ATC that lands planes at a crouded airport has some kind of extreme release mechinism at the end of the day.

Does what I say make sense?

[lordmole]

It makes sense DarylLyn, but that doesn't make it correct. How about all those TB's ? They're students, just like me. Only I'm at university.

[WiiBaby]

How about all those TB's ? They're students, just like me.

Seeing as I just made the transition from TB to AB last October, I can safely say that there is stress involved while you're a student, too. Obviously there is more stress involved with certain jobs, then there is with being a student. However, some TB's either can't handle stress very well, or they have a lot to be stressed about. I know I had a problem with both, and I still do now. For example: lately I've been working my ass off to earn a 3.00 GPA, so I can finally get a car. Let me tell you, come finals last semeister, I was stressed like crazy. I snapped at people, and was just an all-around angry guy. After finals were over, I returned to my usual laid-back self.

I'd have to say I've had an pretty stressful life during my teen years, it's hard having nobody to talk to, be bullied every day, and still be expected to perform as well as other students do...

--Brandon

[DLK]

It's threatening to women because of sexual prejudices and possibly the fear of failure or trading a boyfriend/husband/wife relationship with a mommy/baby relationship. Many women think men who love to wear diapers (but are not incontinent) have some deep seated need that they are unable to meet.

I think both you and Morv are right. Especially when you mention that women may feel threatend by it. I 100% agree with that because in my experience, women seem to be insecure. Before everybody starts bashing me about that, let me just say that I'm not trying to make a blanket statement about all women. It's just what I've had to deal with. I think that many women internalize this instead of just taking it at face value. Hell maybe more men are into being diaper lovers because our physiology naturally makes us easier to stimulate. As far as the AB thing I have no comment because I have no idea about that.

DLK

[Guest Diaperdragon]

Ur right, you don't see alot of women into diapers because men are the majority here and that to see a girl in diapers is like seeing eye candy. Women here like myself are a minority. I know i would like to see mor women on here, but i know girls like me will be overwhelmed by boys.

Also, many women will assume that if a man is into diapers, they are either gay or have some deep seeded issues. If you look at it, women can get away with things sexually and society woouldn't say a thing. On the other hand, if a guy tried to do the same thing sexually, then they would assume that he's either gay or weird.

[DollyDiaper]

........Also, many women will assume that if a man is into diapers, they are either gay or have some deep seeded issues. If you look at it, women can get away with things sexually and society woouldn't say a thing. On the other hand, if a guy tried to do the same thing sexually, then they would assume that he's either gay or weird.

Sorry, but I really would like to know where you got this skewed (IMO) view from I really couldn't disagree more.

The wholly distateful words "Slut/slag" and "Stud/A bit of a lad" spring to mind here. Ask yourself which are the derogatory words (and to whom they are almost always levelled) and which are deemed to be complimentary?

D lly

[BabyJune]

Why are more men into diaper fetish than women? One reason is simply "mechanics." A man's sex organ is external and easily stimulated by wearing a diaper. In other words, it feels better to a man when he puts on a diaper. It touches the "right part."

A second reason more men engage in infantilism is that unfortunately a gender bias exists that stereotypes women as more adequate child-care providers, thus women actually change more baby diapers than men do. For women, it's not a thrill or a sexual turn-on because in reality, changing a baby's diaper day in and day out is messy, mundane, and necessary. Do it enough and it becomes a chore and not something erotic. (Babies don't decide when and if they'll wear diapers, and they can't change themselves).

Also, women are allowed to show a softer side if they choose to, and it's socially acceptable. Men are expected (or forced) to remain tough and strong. No wonder some men fantasize about returning to infancy and toddlerhood or imagine themselves being a little girl. It's so peaceful: No responsibility; no one depending on you to "be in charge of things," and everything is seemingly taken care of for you instead of you being the perpetual caregiver.

(Cute little girls melt your heart. Cute little boys break things).

And of course society has already laid the ground rules for things that don't belong together:

Water and electricity

Fire and gasoline

Diapers and sex

Baby June 1/21/2007

[Frink]

And let's not forget simple numbers. There may seem to be a fair number of us, but, speaking on a per capita basis, there ain't. When only around one out of every thousand is in to something, and only one out of every hundred or so of those people are open and vocal about it, it's seen as strange and way out there by the great mass of humanity, which is a reflection of statistical reality.

[WiiBaby]

June makes a good point, often times when I was younger, I'd get into fights over stupid things just to make myself look tough. I could have been more mature, and done nothing, but that isn't very "manly." Ever since high school, though I got tired of it, and now I do the mature thing. Ever since I stopped getting into fights, or at least fighting back verbally, people don't take me seriously at all.

Some girls I know act the same way I do, and at times, even cry in public. If my old friends saw me crying in public, they would taunt, and tease me. Not because crying isn't okay, or I have a poor reputation, It's not okay, because "men don't cry." However, when a girl cries in public her friends console her, and try to make her feel better.

Mabye it's different outside of high school, but from what I've seen, when a man is "soft," he's seen as a homosexual. It's only natural for a man to want to let his softer side out sometime, and everyone does it in their own way.

--Brandon

[Guest Diaperdragon]

The only thing here is that men out number women . Women can be sexual and the public can be okay with that. If a man were to be sexual, society would assume that he's either gay or weird.

[MommyMichelle]

People fear what they don't understand......

I think it is best to assume that EVERYONE has a fetish -- whether it floats YOUR BOAT or MY BOAT is not the point -- it is a turn on to the fetish owner -- that is all that matters

But OBVIOUSLY -- the real world is a long way from that level of acceptance.

Sadly, because there are a lot of things that turn people on that are violent or dangerous -- and this is just some simple innocent fun that does no harm

[Diapers4Me]

I agree with June and Wii, most of us developed the desire to wear diapers while young. I think boys are treated very differently than girls and as such boys often have no outlet for their sensitive issues. Many (like myself) were told to grow up and act like a man .... often ... perhaps this drove me to want to be a baby????

[Guest John_Q_Sample]

I agree with the above post... I was consistantly told to stop being a baby, stop acting like a little wuss, be a man, etc, etc... think this led to a (slight) panty fetish in youth and a huge diaper fetish as a teen till present...

In answer to "Why is a diaper fetish considered unusual?" Ummm... aside from the people online, how many diaper fetishists do you actually know? That's why it's considered unusual...

[Incomplete Dude]

I think the diaper fetish is considered unusual, because it is unusual. Fetishes are by definition unusual sexual attractions. Certainly, if you look at the statistics, DL fits this description.

However, just because something is weird, doesn't mean it's bad. It would be worse to be wracked by the stress and anxiety that denying it provokes, most of the time. This last point is critical, because there are definitely some times when it's better to deal with the stress. For example, at work or church. Still, this point depends on the level of stress induced and the situations encountered, which are both highly variable. What I'm saying is, you need to balance "weird" pleasures and "normal" stresses, but by definition, the "weird" is not "normal". In other words, having the necessary amount of "weirdness" is good, because it keeps you healthy.

Thus, I don't worry about the normalcy of it, but I do worry about it's necessity. It may be that there are better ways of achieving this emotional health that I have yet to discover. At the same time, the fetish is fairly harmless on its own, so this is unlikely. However, considering my current social situation, it's clear that I cannot practise it until I move away from home. Of course, such evaluations depend entirely on the person in question, which makes it quite difficult, albeit not impossible, for someone else to answer it.

Mabye it's different outside of high school, but from what I've seen, when a man is "soft," he's seen as a homosexual. It's only natural for a man to want to let his softer side out sometime, and everyone does it in their own way.

Coincidentally, there was a time when I thought that I might be gay for this very reason. Of course, it's now apparent that I'm not, even if I am very emotional beneath the layers of social constraints, shields and masks. Despite this, afaik, women like this characteristic in men more then anything these days. It's weird, but when I'm out, women seem to gravitate towards me automatically. Certainly, the relationships with my female friends tend to be my most valuable and fulfilling. I can't complain!

[Red Barchetta]

It's considered unusual because it's not something that the majority of people would do - it's as simply as that. - in fact only a very small percentage of the whole population is into such a thing. For ANYTHING to NOT be considered unusual, most people would need to be doing it. - That's just the way it is.

[MommyMichelle]

I totally don't get how someone can connect AB/DL and being gay.......... the two have NOTHING in common.

[WiiBaby]

I totally don't get how someone can connect AB/DL and being gay.......... the two have NOTHING in common.

To the rest of the world AB/DLism can be seen as the softer side of some people. When society sees a gentle, kind, emotional man, he's labeled as gay, because he is in touch with his "softer side." Therefore, they are connected by the way society views them, as a softer side of men. Obviously the above only applies to men, I'm not sure what lesbianism and AB/DLism have in common.

--Brandon

[Incomplete Dude]

I know for sure that if my younger brother knew I liked to wear diapers he'd call me gay. Heck, he's called me gay just for masturbating! lol

[Red Barchetta]

I know for sure that if my younger brother knew I liked to wear diapers he'd call me gay. Heck, he's called me gay just for masturbating! lol

Maybe he has a fetish with the word "gay" - LOL

Seriously, check Linguistics for context of use - I have found that in some case, with a younger crowd, the word gay dose not always mean homosexual. It could also mean strange, unfair, exc.