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northeastnaps

Do I stick around in my relationship?

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Hi guys,

I've just joined to share my story, although I hope I'll be here more regularly to contribute.

I met my girlfriend almost exactly a year ago. We met due to shared kinks, most notably DDLG and ABDL, and she was an avid DL. Despite the shared kinks, these were not primary motive in progressing the relationship; we genuinely connected as individuals and fell for each other. She told me very early on that she has no interest in guys wearing, and her DL fetish was non-sexual, although did admit to sexual play while wearing. She knew I wore quite regularly, that I find it very much a sexual fetish, although did at least have milds experience as a daddy / dom. Lovestruck, I simply agreed not to wear for the sake of our relationship, and things went from there.She moved in, and very early on I admit to both myself and her that I really don't want to give up wearing. She was initially accepting and told me she'll work through it in her mind; to me this seemed a little strange since she wore regularly, I'd diaper her etc, and here she was telling me that she'll 'get comfortable' with me wearing. Now, I completely accept that this may have been a deal breaker for her, but in my mind the responsible thing to do is to accept it or walk away. She didn't make it particularly clear what she wanted me to do, merely that she'd get comfortable and I'd need to be patient. Anyway, one night I put a nap on and just go to bed - she lifts up the covers and gets in herself and sees me wearing, and she goes absolutely ape shit. I wasn't in a particularly good place mentally at this point and quite frankly I wore to bed to help me relax - clearly I'd jumped the gun and she wasn't ready to see me like this, but it wasn't well communicated from either side. We spoke at length about it and she told me that she wants to lead my wearing around her. She did as agreed, and after a few weeks tentatively engaged me, even put me in one. We seemed to make good progress, but there was still a discomfort and odd atmosphere about them in the house. Her comfort would fluctuate, and she did nothing to reassure me that this is on her. As the months have gone on, we got to the point whereby she told me to 'just wear and don't make a big deal about it' so that she 'could ignore it for now until it became comfortable for her'. Everything she said to me gave me a big complex and anxiety over wearing in general - I have felt ashamed. In spring she told me that the smell of pee in a diaper really freaks her out, despite the fact she wets hers, and even has a mild pee fetish (she's asked me to pee inside her, on her). She wants me to drink tons of water when I wear to prohibit this. Each and every time I wet around her, or even in bed, I'm paranoid she's going to make a big thing of this. It took until June for her to effectively give permission for me to wear each evening (not that I do), although she still made it clear that she doesn't want me to wear more often than her, or have it compromise her little side. A few weeks ago, she admitted during an argument that she has stopped wearing often in an effort to discourage me from wearing, and has admitted that me wearing still makes her uncomfortable - from my point of view it all seems quite baffling. She has reiterated time after time I need to be patient - it's been nearly a year, IMO she's either comfortable by now with who I am or she isn't. This should be such an easy area of our relationship given our mutual enjoyment of diapers, one of understanding and empathy, and more importantly, fun!

It has been a huge issue, our primary area of conflict. I still have little idea of how to deal with this. As someone who's down for almost anything, and very much outspoken about my limits, I can't see why she hasn't just embraced it or left me - I'd prefer her to do either one of these rather than make my life so unpleasant. I'm at a point whereby I'm prepared to end this relationship if things don't get better. I'm not going to change myself for someone else.

How do I handle this? Am I being unfair or unreasonable? Do I walk away? Do I take it more slowly? Any constructive criticism is more than welcome.

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It seems quite unreasonable that you must accept her as she is and what she wants. We are many who dream of having a girlfriend who is into diapers, but the situation is not sustainable. I only see two options after a year. Either walk away, or require her to accept you, just as you accept her. Maybe she then chooses to walk away, but then it is the way it must be. I'm sorry for it on your behalf.

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Firefly 35    7

It sounds like your girfriend is being pretty hypocritical and mean to you.  So, I would say try reasoning with her, or if that's already failed then it would probably be time for you and her to go seperate ways.  I don't think you're doing anything wrong, though.

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Bettypooh    920

Successful relationships consist of a fairly equal give-and-take on both sides. If it is too one-sided or gets that way, then failure is the only possible outcome. Sometimes no compromise can be reached between two people on a given matter- sometimes that can be handled by making allowances for that thing to happen outside of the relationship. There is no always involved here, only possibilities.

People rarely change in their basic nature and though it is very hard to accept when you are faced with a situation that you cannot live with, the best thing to do is walk away from it if they cannot or will not make the changes you need them to. Make every effort to keep the relationship alive but accept that you cannot do that alone. You are no good to yourself or to anyone else if you cannot be happy. Once you determine where your happiness lies then you can pursue it. Maybe try things their way if you are not sure, but once you are ure the answers you need from a partner will become obvious to ypu and that will let you find them.

There was just one thing that spelled the end of my last relationship. It was hugely important to me but I could not get any cooperation with it, nor could I stand to suffer from the pain that caused me any longer so I walked away. I'm still not certain if that was the right thing to do but I am certain that I am now pretty happy so it couldn't have been too wrong.

Bettypooh

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