Help

[Shantopia]

I recently found out my partner is a Diaper Lover, it has really knocked the trust out of me, i didnt find out until we had been together for nearly 2 years, i have a 3 year old child from a previous relationship and im currently 5 months pregnant with my partners child, i found out by guessing when he told me he had a big sectet, i have tried understanding but its completley shaken me, hes not a big talker and when i ask about it he clams up, he will only tell me certain things when hes drunk, he waits until im asleep before indulging and ive woken up a couple of times to him masturbating, i feel lost and completley betrayed and honestly a little sick, i love him dearly but its gotten to the point im losing sleep ovwr it, im to scared to.go to sleep incase i wake up to it again, a few months ago i woke up in the middle of the night went to the living/kitchen room and caught him masturbating on the sofa to girls in diapers, he says he fantasizes about me wearing them but ita just not my thing, he has accounts which he showed me to different aites including japanese shemale pornography, he admitted once that he doesnt think im enough for him as i won't participate and we split up over it, it was during this time i found out i was pregnant, i really am trying to support him and let him so jia thing but i just dont know if i can cope anymore, its silently destroying my life but i dont qant him to think he has to give it up to please me, im at a total loss now.

[Repaid1]

Did you intend to be listed as a boy? If not just say the word and I will correct that. I approved the post so others can see it and reply.

[happyindprs]

Just because your boyfriend is a diaper lover in know way makes him irrespnsible or not an adult.

[Shantopia]

No im a girl lol

[Dill_Pickle]

Yowsa!

You have a huge ball of wax here, all at once, and nowhere near enough information about yourself for the coolective "we" of Daily Diapers to be very helpful.

So, lets start with a few basics. First, a sexual connection with diapers among males ( and possibly also females) is not uncommon...the number of people who come to DailyDiapers, figure this out, and disappear back into the rest of their lives is huge. The vast majority of us are just as protective of children as you are. Enough of us have had other severe issues, such as depression, to find out directly through shrinks that it is a lot like being gay, or into BDSM, or getting a little thrill when touching a woman's feet....the sexual connection with diapers is no big deal, unless you are acting out inappropriately and suffering consequences. Not that most of us old enough to remember when there wasn't an internet didn't feel like we were wierdos with a terrible secret before the net came along.

Second, like homosexuality, we know that the need to act on the connection seems permanent. Like homosexuality, it can be suppressed, but dysfunctional diaper types have a binge/purge cycle, where suppressing the need leads to an eventual explosion of activity, the binge, followed by feelings of guilt, shame, and disgust (shrinks tell us this is unnecessary), followed by getting rid of, or purging all of the supplies involved....and then the cycle repeats. The more enlightened just put our stuff in a box, and get it out again when we start feeling like it again, generally in a few months.

There's an e-book on this site you should read, "There's a baby in my bed!". It is very much directed at someone in your shoes. There's an advice column, "Savage on Sex" that you can read to discover how normal this sort of thing is.

As to your situation: your partner has shared a very intimate and scary secret with you. That is itself a significant act of trust, of not wanting to sneak around. You need to make that degree of honesty safe and not abuse the trust placed in you with suspicious and hurtful jealousy. You and your partner need to work out how to make sure that your partner's drive has an acceptable escape valve that doesn't destroy your relationship, and keeps you on communicating terms...this is especially important to the two children, one unborn, in your life. you will want your partners help raising those kids.

In my own marriage, my wife has had some very negative experiences involving diapers. She therefore prefers not to have anything to do with my diapers, and to generally ignore any signs I might be diapered that may show up unless they are obvious, in which case she will mention it. A wet bed is totally verboten. I wear diapers when I feel the need, which is not all the time. There have been periods of a month or more when I always had a diaper on. After awhile, the diapering just becomes too much work, and no fun anymore. In my case, there is no question of an extramarital affair.

You might want to consider different rules. You can ask your partner to wear diapers all the time at home, or even to work. You can give him a tablet computer and ask that he do all his cybersex from the bed.

I don't think any of us are perfect. I do think you and your partner might want to make an investment in couples counselling to work out the kinks and unpress the hot buttons that are being stepped on on both sides of the partnership. Remember you are being graded on how it goes TOGETHER, and on how well you BOTH do with the children. Points will be subtracted for individual heroics, as they indicate a horse has been allowed out of the barn that should not have bern.

Dill "Abigail van Buren" Pickle

[Dill_Pickle]

After rereading the OP, I have a suggestion. If you find your partner masturbating, kiss him and touch him and offer to help, and generally treat it pragmatically if you just aren't in the mood. It will make him feel much safer about it. Don't feel betrayed that he needs more sex than you do.

[Shantopia]

Thankyou all for your help, i am by no means suggesting he has an attraction to children i never meant for it to sound that way, i was trying to point out that with children i personally cant see the attraction as to me as a mum its a chore, please dont take that offensively, i have been chatting with a lovely lady whom i have known for years, also a diaper lover which i only found out when i raised my concerns about my partners behaviour, who has helped me to incorporate his DL into the bedroom that works for both of us, although i can honestly say i will never personally enjoy wearing them myself , i have discovered that i enjoy him using them, i wont go into the details, i have learnt from talking with her and my paetner that all we needed was to talk air the laundry and take it from there, we have found a way to incorporate both our sexual preferences and we have a much better life for it

[Dill_Pickle]

Shantopia: