Need A Laugh?

[lunatyke]

Let's all post something funny! It can be a video/photo/block of text/joke, whatever.

[DiaperedNerd]

[lunatyke]

I'm adding him to a list of my favorite comedians.

[DiaperedNerd]

Ohhhh, that's a good one, hahahaha!

[babykeiff]

A guy telephones the hospital and says, "Send help! My wife is going into labour!"

The nurse says, "Calm down. Is this her first child?"

He says, "No! this is her husband!"

Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: "Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?"

Slim says: "I feel just like a newborn baby."

"Really? Like a newborn baby?"

"Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants."

What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?

Pregnant.

A mother and her son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago. The son (who had been looking out the window) turned to his mother and asked, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?"

The mother (who couldn't think of an answer) told her son to ask the stewardess. So the boy asked the stewardess, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?"

The stewardess responded, "Did your mother tell you to ask me?" The boy admitted that this was the case. "Well, then, tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Southwest always pulls out on time. Your mother can explain that to you."

Two monkeys were going for a bath. One monkey said, oo oo aa aa, the other monkey said, put some cold water in then silly!

What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment

Three kids, walking through a forest. Suddenly they see a slide and a fairy, who tells them the slide is magic and whatever they shout as they're sliding down, they will land in a big pile of it.

First kid slides down and shouts 'ICE CREAM!' and lands in a big pile of strawberry ice cream. Eats it all obv.

Second kid slides down and shouts 'CHOCOLATE CAKE!'

Third kid forgets and shouts 'WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE....'

Two cows in a field. One says moo. The other says, wow that's so weird I was just about to say that!

[square_duck]

Whats green and goes 'slam slam slam slam"??

A 4 door PICKLE!

ok...old silly joke from back in the stone ages

[babykeiff]

Child to teacher, "Miss, can I go to the toilet"

Teacher: "Yes, just repeat the aphabet..."

Child, hesitatingly.... "A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L , M, N, O, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, Z"

Teacher: "Are you sure you didn't miss anything"

Child "No miss!"

Teacher "Then where is the 'P'?"

Child "Half way down my leg miss!"

[underwhere]

Said the masochist to the sadist, "Beat me!"

Said the sadist in reply, "No."

I'd tell you a joke about the guy with amnesia, but I forget how it goes.

http://www.lawlaughs.com/mature/squareballs.html

What do you call a sick bird which breaks the law?

Ill Eagle

[babykeiff]

What did the fat kid get for christmas?

[ForbiddenFruit]

What were Michael Jackson's final thoughts about?

Being a busy adult with lots of things to do.

[babykeiff]

If a fly is flying at 30mph south, and an express train is travelling 200mph north.... what is the last thing that passes through the mind of the fly?....