Concerned

[Zemmy]

Ok...

So I've been dating this guy for 3 years now, he told me about his diaper fetish in the first 8 months we were together, first time I didn't agree with it as I had never come across it before, then a few months later he brought it up again telling me it was something he was in to, so I participated in it with him. At first i enjoyed it and seeing how he gets with them made me ..... Well very happy aswell lol. It was fine up until a few months back, it felt to me like this would be the only thing that "satisfies" him and I've stopped enjoying it, as soon as we get down to it and he mention "do you want to put something on" I am not in the mood anymore. I have tried to see it from his point if view but all he tells me is that it feels good, I can't understand why he enjoys it that much. He is on diaper websites pretty much everyday, I knew this but now he had stated deleting his history and it's making me feel like he is hiding more then he's letting on to.

I'm not stopping him from doing it, but recently I have found a secrecy stash of pull ups which he didn't tell me about, also I have found out he had been talking to other girls online with intimate details. It had shocked me more then anything because we don't hide things from each other, or that's what I thought anyway, whenever I confront him about something it seems he will only say things that I want to hear. The thing that had upset me most is that he is talking to girls online, he doesn't know I know, maybe it's just me but I do consider it cheating even though it's online.

I may be acting insecure but after bring screwed over in the past by previous relationships I thought this was the real deal, so to find this out I am shocked and hurt more then anything. I do believe he is addicted although he Denies it, but I don't know how to approach him about it to get the truth. Any advice will be greatly appreciated?!

I do apologise if this doesn't make sense, I have tried to add as much detail as I can but there is still more things, these are my main concerns, I just don't know how to deal with it or whether this relationship won't work as I can't give him what he enjoys

[drynot]

As with any relationship there has to be give and take.

[Zemmy]

Thank you for that, I do need to have a real discussion with him but to be honest I think in scared of what might come out. I don't like the fact he's hiding things, but I understand why he would Do it if he had to hide it for this amount of time, I just don't know how to approach him to talk about it. Maybe it would be better if I just participated in it to stop him looking elsewhere, I just don't know, I do know that I love him to pieces this is the only thing that troubles me, in every other aspect he treats me like a princess, maybe I am looking too much into it and should just let him get on with it, I just don't like the secrets :-/

[rusty pins]

drynot makes some very good points!

[Zemmy]

Thank you so much for all that, it has really opened my eyes! There's a lot more to this, maybe I haven't given all the detail but he does give and take so to speak, I understand people have different opinions but as far as I thought he opened up to me about everything and I really respect and admire him for that, so I don't know why he would hide the fact he was talking to someone else.

I do feel reassured about things, and all the advice has been extremely helpful!!

[dl_ashlee]

You should talk to him and let him know you are not really into putting on diapers on yourself and sounds like you don't really want to during sexual play. Certainly talk to him about the secret keeping and talking intimately online with other females is certainly not ok.

[Guest stephdiapered]

Ok...

So I've been dating this guy for 3 years now, he told me about his diaper fetish in the first 8 months we were together, first time I didn't agree with it as I had never come across it before, then a few months later he brought it up again telling me it was something he was in to, so I participated in it with him. At first i enjoyed it and seeing how he gets with them made me ..... Well very happy aswell lol. It was fine up until a few months back, it felt to me like this would be the only thing that "satisfies" him and I've stopped enjoying it, as soon as we get down to it and he mention "do you want to put something on" I am not in the mood anymore. I have tried to see it from his point if view but all he tells me is that it feels good, I can't understand why he enjoys it that much. He is on diaper websites pretty much everyday, I knew this but now he had stated deleting his history and it's making me feel like he is hiding more then he's letting on to.

I'm not stopping him from doing it, but recently I have found a secrecy stash of pull ups which he didn't tell me about, also I have found out he had been talking to other girls online with intimate details. It had shocked me more then anything because we don't hide things from each other, or that's what I thought anyway, whenever I confront him about something it seems he will only say things that I want to hear. The thing that had upset me most is that he is talking to girls online, he doesn't know I know, maybe it's just me but I do consider it cheating even though it's online.

I may be acting insecure but after bring screwed over in the past by previous relationships I thought this was the real deal, so to find this out I am shocked and hurt more then anything. I do believe he is addicted although he Denies it, but I don't know how to approach him about it to get the truth. Any advice will be greatly appreciated?!

I do apologise if this doesn't make sense, I have tried to add as much detail as I can but there is still more things, these are my main concerns, I just don't know how to deal with it or whether this relationship won't work as I can't give him what he enjoys

[Baby Brian]

Zemmy, I can definetly see where you're coming from, and you seem to be taking it quite better than even my wife did at first. (I first explained my passion for diapers in a serious manner to her yet she laughed, hard. I actually ended it right there but somehow still stayed together). When we face any kind of serious rejection for a part of who we are then we are literally facing rejection for us in whole. Please see there is no real difference. It's also why we (or at least I) seek out condolence with other like me (and used to seed out girls too)- to know I'm not so abnormal after all, it's just who I am and that is acceptable. It also explains why we (or again I) hide it so much. We're trying to hold on to what ever "normal" acceptance we can get, even if it's not the whole truth. We already struggle with loving diapers so much to begin with, and like Rusty Pins said, even we often don't know why it's so deeply ingrained into us. It just is.

[Bettypooh]

"It's also why we (or at least I) seek out condolence with other like me (and used to seed out girls too)- to know I'm not so abnormal after all, it's just who I am and that is acceptable. It also explains why we (or again I) hide it so much. We're trying to hold on to what ever "normal" acceptance we can get, even if it's not the whole truth. We already struggle with loving diapers so much to begin with, and like Rusty Pins said, even we often don't know why it's so deeply ingrained into us. It just is."

[Zemmy]

Thank you again for all the advice!! I am beginning to understand this better, I have spoken to him about a few things and we are working on it. I understand why people hide it, but this is a great community and it's so good to be able to talk to others to help me understand more.

Thank you again!!