Defining Myself As An Incontinent Person When I Move.

[Little BabyDoll Christine]

I do not think that most persons there will give a care what you wear. I, too, have a severe disability, I am legally blind, my eye is rated at 20/300 distance and needing 14x to be normal vision close. so I know that world. Now, if you go in with your diapers and the staff gets antsy just tell them that you always wore them. You may be sent for an exam and I do not think they will find any physical problems and may just attribute it to stress or the like

When I was 10 I wet the bed a few sporadic times and was seen by the family Doctor. Now it was a habit with me to be as much like a full-sighted person as possible. This was because things I was interested involved reading and doing which meant more eye work than if I had more sedentary interests, to the point where I was doing 50% of my work with 7% of the visula resources. So the Doctor who knew me very well looked me over and said it was stress ("Stress" can also come from being "hyper" and you really could not slow me down. If I was still for more than 15 minutes I would be asked if I feel allright, so this was not recognized as stress, but Dr. Lent was using the term more in a medical-behavioral context than in its popular meaning) and that this may go away or may be permanent as long as I am like I am. Now, it ended there: He did not have to report it to anyone and it went away. The same government that gives out money also acts as a nanny (hence "nanny state") and wants information and reports on just about everything to the point where it is becoming inhumane. After awhile the more savvy staff members of places that deal in these matters just do not report minor things or those that have been stable. There is too much cheap computer memory. In the old days, there just was not the room to keep reams of information so anything that a family physician could determine not to be serious was just let go and considered a quirk. Most Real People still deal like that and most savvy administrators and staff should be able to do the same and say "It is stable and just not worth the trouble". In the 1980's, when AIDS was a mystery disease, I asked my doctor for an AIDS test to be on the safe side, and he asked me a few questions starting with "do you...?" or "Have you...?" to which I truthfully answered "No". He then said that if he did a test, it would have to be reported to insurance and be a "balck mark" and just was not even close to being worth it

Beiseds that, you will have more significant things to deal with living in a psych case group home. I have never been impressed with that as a normal way of doing things and you may be in for having more restrictions than you like. To even consider that, I would have to be on my way to being a vegetable and then I might find a more permanent solution like hemock juice or the like

[sarah_ab]

wait are you moving into a group home beacuse you somehow think it will get your more SSDI funds? because it won't you know..... what you get is what you get... moving into a group home isn't going to get you any more of anything.....

also living in a group home does not automatically get you onto SSI. People ahve been denied who live in group homes.

[gweg]

If I'm secretive and get caught I'm going to warm myself out of it and make excuses, would it not be better to be forward and come out at the beginning. I'm not going to be open about me having a fetish as thats not going to work. I love my diapers and am ready to commit to wearing them without having to hide it. I think this is the only way forward without telling lies all the time.

All you have to tell them is you need them for YOUR protection.

That isn't a lie as I assume your need is a personal one from your background of being yourself.

The staff will or may ask a few questions of you though as to when you need them or such... just tell them when or where and leave the why you do alone.

If and when the others say something about them tell them also you need them. leave the rest private and you will survive.

[gweg]

Shared houses / group homes /assisted living environments seek to empower individuals with disabilities to embrace who they are and achieve all they are possible of. So yes, by all means enter a supporting environment on lies. Because this really empowers you to embrace who you are...

You are not incontinent, and just because you have a note from your doctor does not mean you are. And how exactly will you get a dr to say "oh yes so and so is definitely incontinent" without them asking probing questions, and wanting to run tests?

Enjoy your diapers but do not lie about them. People don't like liars. People don't trust liars.

I don't know this persons needs or wants but to need your diapers can be a IMO mental reality especially if you need them to survive your day to day activity. Whether it is physical need or mental need, correct?

Mentally, needing something to cope is not telling a lie if you say you need them. IMO

[curiositykilledthecat]

Alrighty this thread as well as it's starter have been a mess and warrants the image below. To the OP, I am not going to attack you or hate on you. If you wish to have a decent quality of life while in the assisted living facility, especially one where there is an acceptance of psyhco/physiological issues then you may wish to simply be discreet with your wearing and if asked be honest and just say they are for a psychological and physiological need. Do not build a relationship up on lies, it will only be bad.

And now for the aforementioned picture.

[gweg]

wait are you moving into a group home beacuse you somehow think it will get your more SSDI funds? because it won't you know..... what you get is what you get... moving into a group home isn't going to get you any more of anything.....

also living in a group home does not automatically get you onto SSI. People ahve been denied who live in group homes.

I think what he is saying is he is worried about losing his SSDI or SSI payment (which ever he gets) because the government is cracking down hard on people who are borderline. They still ask for proof every 5 yrs in time (or it might be closer now) until your a certain age.

To me it sounds like he is a little scared? And having a disability is a scary thing especially if you read someone is trying to take it away. Didn't Stanley run into that on a large scale.

[gweg]

Alrighty this thread as well as it's starter have been a mess and warrants the image below. To the OP, I am not going to attack you or hate on you. If you wish to have a decent quality of life while in the assisted living facility, especially one where there is an acceptance of psyhco/physiological issues then you may wish to simply be discreet with your wearing and if asked be honest and just say they are for a psychological and physiological need. Do not build a relationship up on lies, it will only be bad.

This is as good of advice your going to get on this topic/issue.

Probably best for all of us to remember it!

[Little BabyDoll Christine]

All you have to tell them is you need them for YOUR protection.

That isn't a lie as I assume your need is a personal one from your background of being yourself.

The staff will or may ask a few questions of you though as to when you need them or such... just tell them when or where and leave the why you do alone.

If and when the others say something about them tell them also you need them. leave the rest private and you will survive.

Psychobabble: You need to learn to distinguish between needs and wants. Not all needs are wants: I did not want have a corneal transplant but I needed it. and not all wants are needs. If someone wants to do coke, grass and LSD every day, is that what he needs? If a person wants to steal and cheat, is that what he needs? This is a shopworn pop psych cliche that has put many a person in the shrink's office complaining about his life being empty. True psychological needs are hard enough to define without atting hedonism to the mix which is part of what gives psychology a bad name

[cobranappy]

I have genuine disabilities and am not malingering, I'm wrote up for rispiradon, depakote, mitazapine, diazepam,and zopicloan....Thanks gweg I guess I am a little scared with the SS thing..

[gweg]

I have genuine disabilities and am not malingering, I'm wrote up for rispiradon, depakote, mitazapine, diazepam,and zopicloan....Thanks gweg I guess I am a little scared with the SS thing..

If your on SSI or SSDI and you are taking those drugs. I wouldn't worry so much about SS, I would be trying to learn to cope with yourself and except yourself as a good person who is worth caring about. After I got hurt I had some big issues to deal with myself and my problems that I was refusing to accept. There were a lot of people on another older site called Wettville and than here that helped me keep my sanity. Don't worry about the negatives here as there are a lot of caring and helpful people on DD that bond with you and are serous about helping if that is what you need, once they see you are sticking around and are serious in your thoughts, wants, needs, desires, etc.

[sarah_ab]

wow anyone who uses malingering has done thwir research

[Little BabyDoll Christine]

Either that or they are in need of the process of de-programming I developed between 1982 and 1991: Therapeutic Intervention Adjustment to Remove Anapraxia (also known as Daugui-Droule Syndrome)

[Elfy]

Anyone who says they want to be mentally disabled loses a lot of respect from me. Being pleased to be disabled just to get more money from the Government? I understand the worry over money if you are unable to work (I was depressed for a year or so but fortunately for me I was still at Uni so money wasn't as much of an issue) but what you said was bang out of order.

I bet if they were like that for a day they would immediately wish to not be disabled.

[Little BabyDoll Christine]

You do not know the half of it. In about 1972 some shrinks inflltrated a nut ward to see just what procedures were used for figuring who was and was not gonzo. They almost did not get out YET the patients knew they were faking it. The article they wrote was called BEING SANE IN INSANE PLACES and sent a chill up my spine. Also my Psych of Personality and Abnormal Psych instructor would regale use with stories of how guys in his unit in the Korean War got phoney Section 8 discharges successfully. This kind of thing is why Congress is hesitant to fund Mental Health

Dr. Edell has talked with many callers who were put right on psychotropic drugs without even testing to see if there was a psycho-physical problem and if a less drastic "talk therapy" usually Behavior Mod/ Cognitive threapy (my favorite as it actually addresses mental activity) would be as effective or more so

In Fall River there is a shrink who has a rep for getting persons on SSI and it has gotten the name "crazy check"

Since the early middle '70's there have been several attempts to make the committment process more reflective of the real world If I were in practice and saw a list of meds the size of the one listed here, I'd be all over that like a hawk. I have never even heard of most of them

One of the biggest fiascoes, concocted in the 1977-9 timeframe, mostly by liberals when I was in grad school, has been variously called "mainstreaming" and "de-institutionalization". The idea was to take the strain of the mental hospital system and went like this. The person was turned over to family on the promise to take care of them. Well, that lasted about a year or so and the person would be out on the street

[sarah_ab]

Risperadone is an anti psychotic

Depakote is an anti epileptic also used for migraines and bipolar disorder

diazapem, also known as valium is an anti anxiety medication

Mirtazapine is used as an anti depressant

zopiclone is used to help treat insomnia

taken all together you should be a zombie barely able to form a full sentance lol... but seriously those are all some pretty strong drugs there... I do hope you have only one dr prescribing them and are having your levels tested regularly as well as your liver.

[Horndog]

That cocktail of drugs would probably kill you.

[Little BabyDoll Christine]

That does not sound like the profile of someone who has enough gas in the tank to talk about "Defining oneself..." and conning himself into a "'cntinence' issue" next in that chain of events is that he drops the quotes around "continence". Not having done an interview, I really can not say, but if I were in practice, I would be very curious. If the levels are such that he is not zonked out then it seems that he does not need to live in a group home as he is managing himself pretty well here. It also sounds like after he has been there for a month he will be climbing the walls

When I lived in RI, the state Division of Services for the Blind had too much money for their own good so, in the summer of '75 they shipped me off to the Carroll Center in Newton. The problem with that was that it was intended for persons who have recently lost their sight which I was not told until I got there, like from an accident or the like. Well that was not me and I was perfectly adapted having been like this from birth. Now this was a group environment with 4 to a bedroom. Now when you were full-sighted and then lose it. You get "issues" real fast and real deep. The close-quarters group setting with weekends off started to wear on me. Fortunately I found some musicians among the day-hops and a couple of us almost got to do a gig with Tom Rush up in NH. I was planning to bring my acoustic 6-string, mandolin and electric 12-banger but it fell through. I also found a Tolkien fan and we got some records. Mostly I hung out with the staff

[curiositykilledthecat]

I love how some of these prescription drugs are legal yet pot isn't?

[langtab]

Risperadone is an anti psychotic

Depakote is an anti epileptic also used for migraines and bipolar disorder

diazapem, also known as valium is an anti anxiety medication

Mirtazapine is used as an anti depressant

zopiclone is used to help treat insomnia

taken all together you should be a zombie barely able to form a full sentance lol... but seriously those are all some pretty strong drugs there... I do hope you have only one dr prescribing them and are having your levels tested regularly as well as your liver.

From what I have read before people that are bi-polar react in a really bad way to anti-depressant drugs... So why would you be taking drugs for bi-polar alongside antidepressants?

I am just curious about this,

[cobranappy]

I have bipolar 1 with psychotic features , Risperadone, is a anti psychotic to stop my delusions beween paranoia when I'm depressed and grandeur when I'm high. Depakote are mood stabilizers, Mirtazapine makes me feel less depressed overhall, taken alone without the Depakote it'll send me high, This is my everyday medication.

Zopiclone is when I'm having racing thoughts and have been unable to sleep, my body is tired but I can't shut down, sometimes I need it sometimes I don't. Diazapem chills me out, not used all the time.

[Elfy]

I've thought about trying it for a weekend at a motel -- upon registering, telling them that I'm incontinent and have no bowel control and must wear diapers, and asking if they have a waterproof sheet for the bed, a laundry where I can wash my diapers, etc. Once they know, I think it would be fun to have the room service ladies come by while I'm openly wearing diapers, with my full diaper pail sitting in the bathroom, etc.

And this is why we are considered "weird"

[Darkfinn]

I've thought about trying it for a weekend at a motel -- upon registering, telling them that I'm incontinent and have no bowel control and must wear diapers, and asking if they have a waterproof sheet for the bed, a laundry where I can wash my diapers, etc. Once they know, I think it would be fun to have the room service ladies come by while I'm openly wearing diapers, with my full diaper pail sitting in the bathroom, etc.

And this is why we are considered "weird"

+1

[Goerge]

We are considered weird anyway, just the fact we like shitting ourselves makes us weird.....

[Darkfinn]

There's weird... and then there is weird.

It's perfectly OK to have a fetish... however when it comes to wanting to cause harm/damage to yourself, misrepresent yourself to medical personnel, or develop a scheme to involve members of the public JUST TO GET YOUR JOLLIES... you need to have your head examined.

[Little BabyDoll Christine]

We are considered weird anyway, just the fact *we* like shitting ourselves makes us weird.....

What is this "we" business? What makes you think you sepak for anyone but yourself?