How To Be Less Socially Awkward/Isolated

[Eir]

So does this mean that the Timmys of the world wants to be found on the internet? or are you saying you think that it is ok to attack heidi lynn and others who lived their lives as they wanted and out in public their lives were the same as they lived and dressed at home?

So no matter what we think, Wanting to police the lives of the members and tracking down the Members isn't what this board is about by the way and I'm sure the Andrews of the world wouldn't want to be AB classified out in public either!

NO one here or in public has a right to attack others for their lifestyle and/or what they wear out in their world. You might try researching people like Heidi lynn who you just attacked in your post. The phoenix news times I believe had a few articles and Heidi and her exposure in the world helped not hurt our community. I hope you get my point.

With all do respect, sir. I was not targeting anyone! I am also very uncomfortable that you have used my first and middle names in your post. I am wondering, sir how it may be that you appear to know so much about me. I realize it may be too late to amend my post, and that doing so at this time would only raise suspicion. I do believe in policing, to keep out the worst of the worst. I was referring to people who deliberately and uncouthly expose themselves to the public. I envisioned creepy men who walk into Wal Mart wearing a dirty diaper and go around asking women to change them, or the Lawyer who apperently forcibly diapered children. It should be made clear that such deviants are not respected members of our community.

As misunderstood as we already are, we do not need to be associated with such scandals! Just read the worst stories of the "Diapers In The News Section." That is that to which I was referring. I should have made it clear that I was referring to gross misconduct. (I have decided not to use my signature pink/purple 18 pt font, Comic Sans so I could explain my comment without distracting my readers.)

I apologize if you do not accept my explanation sir, but it is the truth, I apologize for not making myself more clear.

Sincerely,

Terryfighter.

[gweg]

With all do respect, sir. I was not targeting anyone! I am also very uncomfortable that you have used my first and middle names in your post. I am wondering, sir how it may be that you appear to know so much about me. I realize it may be too late to amend my post, and that doing so at this time would only raise suspicion. I do believe in policing, to keep out the worst of the worst. I was referring to people who deliberately and uncouthly expose themselves to the public. I envisioned creepy men who walk into Wal Mart wearing a dirty diaper and go around asking women to change them, or the Lawyer who apperently forcibly diapered children. It should be made clear that such deviants are not respected members of our community.

As misunderstood as we already are, we do not need to be associated with such scandals! Just read the worst stories of the "Diapers In The News Section." That is that to which I was referring. I should have made it clear that I was referring to gross misconduct. (I have decided not to use my signature pink/purple 18 pt font, Comic Sans so I could explain my comment without distracting my readers.)

I apologize if you do not accept my explanation sir, but it is the truth, I apologize for not making myself more clear.

Sincerely,

Terryfighter.

This site is not nor has it ever been associated with any of your worst of the worst. And I took offense at your inferring that... the policing of this site is handled by DD and his moderators and has never had problems in the past or even now!!! When you draw your line between the right and the wrong you need to keep in mind that many people you will want to call your creeps because in your original post their was no LINE do in fact move around comfortably in the childish ware or even t's n diapers in semi-public places such as the beach in Boston or their yards when cooking out and there is NOTHING wrong with the person or the area. Heck I've seen people 3 or 4 times at Revere beach outside Boston in t's n diapers playing in the sand and water edge. One was a fortyish lady with 2 or 3 kids or grandkids (not sure which). No one attacked, no one cared that I saw. In Malibu there was a surfer on his board with plastic pants over his I assume disposible. While these may be a little more extreme than I and many others would go or be comfortable with, they are still people and aren't across your imaginary line.

It is fine that you want to police and I will accept your second post here on it but just make sure you don't go to far in your advocating and/or policeman attitude.

I'm incontinent (and have been since an accident in the early 90's dang actually 89 have we really gotten that far so fast) and this site and a few close members saved my sanity and I kind of take offense when it gets attacked or bad mouthed like the people need tracking down on here in your statement.

That tracking down statement of yours by the way lead to one google search as to why you wanted to track people and it found a name or two plus facebook... so beware of tracking down as it can be a two way street. Sorry if it scared you but I thought you needed to rethink your forced policing of this site as that is over the top.

Have a good finish to your weekend,

and whats for dinner? lol

Gweg

[Horndog]

I don't condone "tracking people down."

Here's the thing about policing:

When I was DirtyRocker, I thought policing was the answer, and I was chewed out for believing in such. I deserved it. It's not my place, or anyone else's place, to really police others based on our subjective standards of decency. However, a little encouragement -- to be considerate of others -- could go a long way. It wouldn't hurt if we worked on establishing some standards based on AB/DL member consensus. These standards should not be considered policy that is enforceable. These standards should not be oppressive, which would lead people into feeling that they need to hide who they are or else they won't be accepted. If we were to bring up these standards in a conversation, it would be like, "Hey, be careful about posting a lot of photos of yourself in diapers," or something like that. Something very casual, harmless, but specific and relevant.

[Eir]

This site is not nor has it ever been associated with any of your worst of the worst. And I took offense at your inferring that... the policing of this site is handled by DD and his moderators and has never had problems in the past or even now!!! When you draw your line between the right and the wrong you need to keep in mind that many people you will want to call your creeps because in your original post their was no LINE do in fact move around comfortably in the childish ware or even t's n diapers in semi-public places such as the beach in Boston or their yards when cooking out and there is NOTHING wrong with the person or the area. Heck I've seen people 3 or 4 times at Revere beach outside Boston in t's n diapers playing in the sand and water edge. One was a fortyish lady with 2 or 3 kids or grandkids (not sure which). No one attacked, no one cared that I saw. In Malibu there was a surfer on his board with plastic pants over his I assume disposible. While these may be a little more extreme than I and many others would go or be comfortable with, they are still people and aren't across your imaginary line.

It is fine that you want to police and I will accept your second post here on it but just make sure you don't go to far in your advocating and/or policeman attitude.

I'm incontinent (and have been since an accident in the early 90's dang actually 89 have we really gotten that far so fast) and this site and a few close members saved my sanity and I kind of take offense when it gets attacked or bad mouthed like the people need tracking down on here in your statement.

That tracking down statement of yours by the way lead to one google search as to why you wanted to track people and it found a name or two plus facebook... so beware of tracking down as it can be a two way street. Sorry if it scared you but I thought you needed to rethink your forced policing of this site as that is over the top.

Have a good finish to your weekend,

and whats for dinner? lol

Gweg

Okay, first I was referring to the community in general, and not just this site. (Which is respectable at face value)

To recap, let's say nevermind. My comment about policing does not apply to anyone here on this website. I joined DD because it is respectable at face value, and is the only ABDL site I have ever joined, so I cannot speak for the other communities that exist beyond these cyber walls. I have saved my information on here, and will not release it until I feel comfortable.

[Bettypooh]

I think I got your message clearly from the start, and yes this site is generally less "extreme" than many others- by design. That doesn't mean that only certain kinds of people are here; same as any other public site you will get every kind. And same as any public site you should be careful with your personal information. When it comes to this topic I do not want to become known locally (but I'm not going to be blackmailed either) so I'm pretty careful overall. I like where Spark said that since we generally keep out of sight, only the more extreme people become what the public defines us by. Yes, it's a catch-22. When I started down the Trans path I had to explain to a lot of people that this wasn't "Drag" nor "Gay", but something else entirely. Some people still couldn't get it. Then too is your own take on things- if this is a fetish to you then you will likely explain it as such, or at least whoever you are speaking with might make that connection based on what they see in your words. Just as with Gay or Trans, in time enough will emerge to begin changing the general population's view of this. Just don't look for that soon since most of us prefer to keep this private. And we can't really police ourselves without drawing a line somewhere that may exclude some good people- besides, who will draw that line? About all that we can agree on in that regard is "no real children involved", yet even then real children must necessarily be involved when Mom or Dad wears diapers by choice and their kids may find out. One example is discussions of when a newborn starts remembering things so the parent has to stop wearing openly at home- is that involving children? People here do pretty well at keeping things in order by showing the extremists they don't fit in with their replies, with the Mods taking care of the very worst extremes. I am hesitant to go further than that, yet I too think that some cross the line when others don't think that way.

I think it best for each of us to be careful, knowing that we all reflect on each other yo the general public, and that we distance ourselves from anything which may harm our overall image. I think the world isn't quite tolerant enough to generally accept us yet. I think most people here are pretty good people even when we disagree which is why I hang around here. I think your original signature was too large, but that's just me- as far as I know there are no rules about that. So whatever, don't let the small stuff bug you and try to understand others then all will be well!

Bettypooh

[sarah_ab]

wow..... i have no idea what is going on in here anymore...... kinda fun though

[curiositykilledthecat]

I run an Age play group here in Connecticut and I can atest that the 'scoial isolation' tends to be self inflicted. "We" tend to make ourselves isolated from others rather than our fetish be the defining factor that isolates us. I am a social misfit i.e. don't have many close friends or very intimate relationships, however I can communicate and socialize with almost anyone. The problem we have as a community in general is we try to define ourselves by this fetish which in turn makes us think that we're not fit to fellowship amongst the rest of society, which is not true. So many who express interest in attending our munches here in CT are afraid of being outed or being seen as a social pariah and I simply tell them that we are just normal everyday people who happen to all share a dirty secret. There isn't a reason we can't fellowship with the vanilla, it is usually our own self inflicted stigma that causes awkward situations.

[spark]

Bettypooh

I find the connection between being a transexual and the AB/DL is intriguing. While acceptance of homosexuality has made tremendous advancements in recent decades (and unfortunately still has a long way to go, but I don't think we will ever get to a point of 100% total acceptance). Transgendered people have also made advances socially in recent years (once again, not anywhere near 100%), but I'm sure the decision to present yourself as a woman took tremendous courage. One time I had known a child who made the transition from effeminate young boy to a young lady. I should note that while I knew her, I didn't interact with her. I knew who she was, and did talk with adults who were working with her while she publically came out as a girl. I learned a lot about acceptance while observing that process- it is where I began comfortable using the female pronoun, rather than male.

While I'm neither gay, nor transgendered, I wonder what the social acceptance among my peers would be if I were to present in woman's cloths, compared to one of them spotting my diaper.

I also wonder what I would say if my diaper was spotted by a friend- I'm not talking about some stranger, or some acquaintance, I'm thinking about one of my close friends that know very well, and have known for a long time. I honestly don't know what I would say, but I do know if I admitted the truth- I used them as a stress relief, and a comfort and security measure, the social awkwardness and my isolation would be alleviated. I also know that their acceptance of my diaper desire (I'm calling it that, because that seems to be more appropriate) would help the rest of this community in general- if only minutely, but at least some acceptance.

On another note, I'm not sure if this is just a fetish. There is a difference between DD and a foot fetish, or a rubber-fetish. A fetish implies erotic feelings coming from the item, while there is a stronger, more emotional component (at least for me) with my desire.

[Yvhuce]

So I think the best thing you can say is don't criticize it till you have tried it. Alright, I will admit it, I took a page from Dan Savages book.

I don't know who Don Savage is, but I do know that that advice is flawed. If something goes against the very nature of yourself, to the point of absolute revulsion at the mere though of it, then you don't have to try it. Better advice is "Know yourself thoroughly before speaking". Yes, some people don't like some of what I have to say. But my views on certain matters run to the very core of my personality, if not my very soul... I know who I am. I know what I like and what absolutely sickens me... I don't have to try being gay to know that it's not for me. I don't have to try eating raw fish to know that it isn't for me. I don't have to try hurting myself on purpose to know that it isn't for me... I don't have to give crappy movies a chance to know that I don't like them... But there are things that're unsure... I've never driven a sports car, or flown in a helicopter, or blown up something bigger than an apple, or fired a .50 cal gun... I didn't know how I'd feel about killing crittters until I'd had to. It's not a delightful action, but also not something that weighs heavily on me, when it comes to skunks and possums... I don't have to try shooting my dogs to know that it's something I could never do... That just isn't me... I believe that I can only kill that which I don't care about, or don't like. I do take some pleasure in killing spiders... And I really hate spiders...

Long and short of it, for those who're impatient: Not everything has to be tried, if you know enough about who you are. But if you're unsure, then yes, perhaps you should try it before you knock it.

It might just be me but I like things that aren't socially acceptable. That's part of why I like them. I mean I don't want to be associated with pedophiles but I also don't mind being weird at all. I don't always want to be accepted. That makes life boring.

You must understand that for some of us, this social stigma is hurting us. And we don't like being hurt... It's not stimulating, or exciting... It's just bad... Forgive me for thinking that you're weird in this aspect... If it helps, I don't mind if you think that I'm weird... Most people do... But from my standpoint, it's no different from someone who lives with migraines or some other condition that causes severe chronic pain that just won't go away without serious medication, berating a weirdo who gets off on pain... Our points of view are 180 degrees from eachother... We can't see face-to-face on this particular subject... But we can at least be aware of how strange we are to eachother...

[Diapered Jason]

Yvhuce, my advice is not a law and only applies to certain things. Way to take it out of context Jon Stewart. I am talking about how preconceived notions such as AB/DLs are pedophiles prevent people from accepting let alone trying it. Now, these preconceived notions are created not by a single person spreading false rumors, but by a society that does not tolerate what it thinks is socially unacceptable. Lets face it, people are stupid.

I do not know if you read my second post, but I talked about social acceptance. As a community, we must be aware of the dangers of pushing the boundaries, but they must be pushed if you ever want to have a society that accepts you.

I think educating people would go a long way. Now, I am not talking about appearing on Taboo. What we need to do is create a thorough document that explains everything and eliminates any ambiguity. There is hardly any good information out there, so I think it would help explain things.