Something That Might Amuse Abdls Happened To Me Today

[Mama Melody]

Disclaimer: Period references ahoy. And detail. Beware

I can barely believe this happened to me, as I'm writing about it. It sounds unbelievable.

But it is 100% true and will probably at least amuse you.

I was left in my new apartment today to wait for a PG&E guy to come make sure our stove and heater work. It was a last minute thing and we were in a super rush to get me over here bright int he morning. Sandals, blanket, pillow, art supplies, computer, and a little packaged food. I would be here till at least 4:30, and I arrived at 8:00 AM. I would have no means of leaving, as my husband would be at work with the car, and no means of going around because, to be perfectly honest, this apartment is in a not very friendly area and I'm not familiar with how to get around.

Still, I can write, I can draw. I can pass the time. No sweat!

Then the crazy hit.

Some of you may remember that I posted about my period problems earlier in this forum. It decided to rear its ugly head today unexpectedly.

I didn't notice it was blood rather than normal female wetness until I went to the bathroom, and by that time my panties were absolutely soaked. Stupid period, arriving half a week early! No problem though, I'll just use some toilet paper to...

It's about that time I realized that we had no toilet paper. I'm sitting on the toilet, bleeding, no paper of any sort around or anything absorbable. Fuuuuuu.....

Well, the only thing I had in my pocket was a ten dollar bill. After debating WTF I'm going to do, I finally suck it up and hold the bill between my legs as I go searching for something absorbent.

What I find is receipts, lots of them, in my wallet, a chocolate wrapper and the plastic wrapping from some trail mix. The apartment is empty, we have not moved in yet at all.

Again, crap...

Still, I tell myself I'm resourceful, I can do this. Think...think...

I ended up using plastic wrapping to form, you guessed it, a diaper for myself. I held it together (though not well, it cam undone MANY times) with pieces of the price tag on the trail mix and folded it around my lower half. I filled the plastic with the receipts and chocolate wrapper, really anything absorbent from my wallet. Then I sat, crossed my fingers, and waited.

A few hours later, I changed a few of the receipts, and the thing was actually holding. My pants are saved!!! I sat for six hours with a home-made diaper on, and only now was delivered feminine supplies by my husband.

Still, if this has taught me anything, it's the value of toilet paper and that I do not like wearing diaper-like things. While it was comforting not to think about leaks, I didn't feel like I could move without any sound. When the PG&E guy came, I was terrified he would hear, and very self conscious. I sat as still as I could till he left.

I also hated feeling the collected blood against my skin. Just...very slimy.

Yep, I'm definitely a mama, not a diaper-wearer! lol.

But now I am clean, dry, and out of that infernal plastic thing. And very anemic.

Stupid period.

But at least I can laugh about it now, and I hope you can too!

tl/dr: I made myself a diaper because my period arrived unexpectedly and it was bazaar and it sucked. the end.

[Missy Q]

Wow. You really only had receipts? Nothing else?

Not even a sock or something you could sacrifice?

[Mama Melody]

I wore sandals. Believe me, I thought of that first!

There WAS a sponge there under the sink, but I had no idea how long it had been there or who had used it, so I wasn't about to put it near my lady bits.

[Missy Q]

I wore sandals. Believe me, I thought of that first!

There WAS a sponge there under the sink, but I had no idea how long it had been there or who had used it, so I wasn't about to put it near my lady bits.

*Shiver* Uuuh. The thought of receipts rubbing against sensitive skin.

[Mama Melody]

You're telling me.

[sarah_ab]

i hear pillow and blanket... pillows usually have a pillow case, and blankets can be ripped it needed.... at any rate.... now you know to ALWAYS carry a small pad and a tampon in your purse.... I thought this was like one of the top 3 MUST HAVES in any woman's purse.

Heck I don't even get my period cause of my birth control but i still always have a pad and a tampon in my purse. I mean they have pads that are rolled up and the OB tampons... so from now on.. make sure you always have at least one of each, or two of each in your purse....

and don't be afraid to use the pillow case or blanket .... much better than receipts and plastic wrap.

[Charlie B]

You poor girl, I cant even imagine how terrible that must have been, but I am impressed that you have a sense of humor about it.

[Mama Melody]

I thought this was like one of the top 3 MUST HAVES in any woman's purse.

...I don't ever cary a purse.

I'm not your average gal in that regard.

And I'm on the pill too. It just seems that sometimes when I'm stressed out I get it a bit early though, which is a pain. *sigh* such is life. At least it's over now.

Also, no WAY I was using the blanket and pillow! I hate staining anything, not to mention our ONLY blanket and ONLY set of pillowcases. XD

[Guest]

awwww hugs

Melody

[Mama Melody]

Aw thanks! Hugs for you too!

[Dirty Diaper/Maxipad Lover]

I thought this was like one of the top 3 MUST HAVES in any woman's purse.

One would think so, but I've found that this isn't always the case. Some ladies (and I'm not counting those who've gone through menopause or are on birth control) honestly just don't seem to realize that they should have menstrual protection on them at all times. Others are simply absent-minded and forget to carry protection on them. One of my best friends is the absolute worst offender when it comes to being unprepared for her period. It's actually a good thing that I have a menstrual fetish, (which my friend is aware of,) because I've had to let her "borrow" a pad on more then one occasion since she hasn't had one on her. I swear, the next time she asks me if she can "borrow," a pad, my response should be "sure, but I want it back after you've used it."

Of course, after I let my friend "borrow/take" one of my pads, we generally have the same conversation, that goes like this:

Me: You really should carry a spare pad in your purse.

Her: I do.

Me: Then why didn't you use it?

Her: I did...nine months ago.

Me: Then why didn't you replace it eight months ago?

Her: I forgot to, and then I was going to but forgot to again, and then I kept bumming them off of my friends, (and now I'm doing it again.)

Now every once in awhile she'll actually remember to throw a spare pad into her purse, or I'll give her one to put in her purse hoping to spare another one of her friends, but I've had this conversation more times then I probably should have. I guess my forehead says "Pad Dispenser" in text that only my friend can see.

I have to admit, after working with lighting kits, I probably should have carried a pad in my "bottomless bag of production equipment," that held everything other people forgot, but for some reason, I never thought of doing so until now. Without going into too much detail, lighting kits seem to be a great way for people to injure themselves when they're not paying attention to what they're doing. (And that's before anyone throws and a switch and they get as hot as a stove.)

Disclaimer: Period references ahoy. And detail. Beware

I ended up using plastic wrapping to form, you guessed it, a diaper for myself. I held it together (though not well, it cam undone MANY times) with pieces of the price tag on the trail mix and folded it around my lower half. I filled the plastic with the receipts and chocolate wrapper, really anything absorbent from my wallet. Then I sat, crossed my fingers, and waited.

A few hours later, I changed a few of the receipts, and the thing was actually holding. My pants are saved!!! I sat for six hours with a home-made diaper on, and only now was delivered feminine supplies by my husband.

Still, if this has taught me anything, it's the value of toilet paper and that I do not like wearing diaper-like things. While it was comforting not to think about leaks, I didn't feel like I could move without any sound.

Melody, there's a huge difference between an actual diaper and a "diaper" made of plastic wrap and receipts. (OUCH!) An actual diaper, much like a pad, is designed to feel soft, and to not make you feel like you're wearing plastic. If you were to wear something like GoodNites, the sides would feel like cloth rather then smooth plastic, because they're intended to be breathable. Plastic wrap on the other hand is not intended to be breathable. Likewise, GoodNites are intended to be discreet/quiet, while regular plastic is LOUD. If you were wearing an actual diaper, you wouldn't have to worry about the sound or the texture.

I should add that I mentioned GoodNites by name for a reason. I don't know your weight or your hip size, but if they're not an issue, GoodNites are probably your best choice for an actual diaper that's discreet/quiet during your period. In the past I've mentioned that my girlfriend can fit into everything from 4T-5T Huggies Pull-Ups, (the sides need to be adjusted, but she can squeeze into them,) to L/XL GoodNites. S/M GoodNites would probably be the ideal size for her given that she's quite slender, and within a normal weight range. The reasons that I recommend GoodNites is that they're discreet, inexpensive, readily available, and more then adequate for even an incredibly heavy period. (As long as you change them regularly, you should be fine.) You would be hard pressed to find another diaper that's as discreet, (remember, these are designed to be discreet enough that children can wear them during sleep overs,) or as suitable for use as a pad/tampon substitute. I would recommend UnderJams as well, but the sides on them are terrible. GoodNites/UnderJams are also the most "underwear-like" diapers you'll be able to find. (Remember, these are diapers that KCWW and P&G love to say aren't diapers, and try to make as little like diapers as possible.)

I also hated feeling the collected blood against my skin. Just...very slimy.

Yep, I'm definitely a mama, not a diaper-wearer! lol.

I realize that diapers aren't an ideal option for you by a longshot, but I still wanted to at least explain why I think it might be worth giving them a try, particularly the ones mentioned above. With the diapers mentioned above, you shouldn't feel the collected blood against your skin. Having had my own experiences with used pads, (after my girlfriend had used them at that,) I can tell you that you definitely want to trim "down there" before you wear anything, whether it's a pad or a diaper. You don't have to shave yourself bald, just trim enough to keep your pubic hair short and neat. If you don't trim down there, the blood will inevitably dry and stick to your pubic hair, especially in something like your "plastic wrap diaper" which wasn't made of breathable plastic. (Of course, you may already know this, and if you do, I apologize for being redundant.)

Believe it or not, I've actually had firsthand experience with menstrual blood sticking to my pubic hair. Now you may be wondering how a male has had first-hand experience with menstrual blood sticking to his pubic hair. Since we're all being open here, I'm just going to say this as plainly as possible. I've been sexually stimulated by my girlfriend's used pads, and I've ejaculated as a result of that stimulation. (And before anyone asks, my girlfriend is well aware of this--sometimes she's the one "stimulating" me with the used pad, and other times I've stimulated myself. I shouldn't have to say that, but I've seen the reaction that the "used diaper" threads get around here and would like to avoid a similar reaction here.) If the blood in the pad is "fresh" it can definitely stick to male pubic hair just as it would stick to female pubic hair. If the blood is dry, ejaculating onto it can make it wet again (as I discovered first hand,) and the result is what you would expect from any other "wet" used pad. Not to go too far off-topic, but both men and women should trim their pubic hair before menstrual play, or even before using a condom. I actually don't find the menstrual blood or blood/semen combo "slimy" until it starts to dry. Once that happens, it definitely does feel slimy if it's sticking to one's pubic hair, so I can understand how you felt Melody.

I'm glad you have your menstrual protection now though, and I enjoyed your story. I'm sorry that you had to go through all of that though. (I have to admit, even after soaked in menstrum, I'd probably still use that $10 dollar bill or deposit it into my bank account. Given that 95% of all US currency in circulation has some trace of drugs on it, I doubt a "bloody bill" would draw too much attention. Currency is currency--I've seen people using bills that were ripped in half to pay for things.)

[Mama Melody]

Thanks for the input. I actually don't like pads in general. Too many leaks, and there's still that slimy feeling.

And yeah, I washed the bill. It's in my dresser. XD

[Creepymouse]

Wife uses ladies Depend pullups when she's on her heavy days or just tired of being 'plugged up' Then again...she generally has no idea when she should be starting, it almost always sneaks up on her. Even she doesn't get so lazy that THOSE leak, and they're pretty comfy. They're nice to have around when she has a miscarriage too (we're hoping for a baby sometime, but the last two haven't made it.)

[Creepymouse]

grr, no edit button

I thought afterward, how you said you don't carry a purse. They have those tiny pads, not much bigger than a wrapped condom, that would fit in a man's wallet. I'd suppose you at least carry your ID? Pop one in behind it, even if it doesn't hold up for long, it's better than receipts and plastic wrap. :s

[Mama Melody]

grr, no edit button

I thought afterward, how you said you don't carry a purse. They have those tiny pads, not much bigger than a wrapped condom, that would fit in a man's wallet. I'd suppose you at least carry your ID? Pop one in behind it, even if it doesn't hold up for long, it's better than receipts and plastic wrap. :s

This is an excellent option for me! I do cary a wallet, and even though it probably wouldn't last me too long given my flow, it IS a better option than what I had. Thank you!

[Dirty Diaper/Maxipad Lover]

grr, no edit button

I thought afterward, how you said you don't carry a purse. They have those tiny pads, not much bigger than a wrapped condom, that would fit in a man's wallet. I'd suppose you at least carry your ID? Pop one in behind it, even if it doesn't hold up for long, it's better than receipts and plastic wrap. :s

[Dirty Diaper/Maxipad Lover]

grr, no edit button

Double grr--disregard the post that consists only of a quote. (The new quick reply is screwy.) The edit button SHOULD be visible, but only on your posts, and only when you're logged in. It's next to the "multiquote" option, yet for some reason...it didn't appear on my last post either, so I can't go back and "merge" these two into one. My guess is that it has to do with the board problems we've been having recently.

Oh and Melody, I had to chuckle at the mental image of someone washing a $10 dollar bill. That gives a whole new definition to the phrase "money laundering."

[wetman]

... and it was blood money, too.

scnr

[Creepymouse]

*groan* that was bad.

[dogpiss]

Mama Melody,

Equating your experience with a diaper is like equating sleeping on left-over hay in a barn to sleeping a pillow-top mattress in a fine hotel. I would have hated to have been stuck with your rustic accommodations. Just chock it up to another life experience in the "what not to do" column.

[Mama Melody]

... and it was blood money, too.

scnr

*facepalm*

[wetman]

*facepalm*

<grossesse>I hope you washed your hands before you facepalmed</grossesse>

*giggles and runs*

[Mama Melody]

EEEP! Of course I did! XD

Buuuuhuhu that's gross.

[gah!ghost]

grr, no edit button

I had this same problem and recently figured out how to fix it. If you refresh the page, the edit button will appear.