Exposure

[BabyGizmo]

So, personally, i like going to the mall, waddling, crinkling, and happly telling anyone who asks. i guess im a bit of a show off, i really love my diapers.

What do you think? am i the only little showoff out there?

[gotdiapers]

Troll......

[Zuesbaby]

Troll......

What do you mean when you say troll, I seen it a few tried peopl;e use but it seem to be bad? Corret

[BabyGizmo]

id just like to clear it up, in not a troll. i honestly like the exposure, its enthralling and somehow a lot of fun for me. i am still quite new to the community, i just want to establish where i stand in the community. i know i love diapers, i know i like the embarrassment of exposure, and i have adult baby tenancies. my question was to see how others handle them selfs in their diaper exploits.

i don't mean to be forward, as i know the majority of the community is a lot more shy than i, so maby my forwardness if threatening on some level. i will try to be more considerate in the future.

[Bettypooh]

You'll find that most people here are against intentional exposure and/or making it easily known that you are diapered (noise, waddle, thickness etc.) Most see this as forcing others to deal with things they don't need (or want) to know about your underwear choice And many feel that it makes it harder for us when we become known for our own wearing because the general public automatically connects us, who aim for discretion, with people who have done as you have, which they generally see as exhibitionism Whether correct or not, that's just how things are I don't claim to speak for anyone but me though I've been here long enough to know how most others here feel about intentional exposure I will offer this: there's something to learn about not feeling shame over wearing diapers here, and that can benefit us all I don't want to share my wearing with anyone I'm not intimate with in RL, and so far it has worked But when the day comes that I get discovered unwillingly I'm not going to let it make me feel bad I wear diapers because I need to and if someone has a problem with that, then they have the problem- not me- and I'll make sure they learn that

Bettypooh

[DLK]

uhh no. you fantasize about something that's gonna get you much more negative attention than positive. And your actions will reflect on a community who already considered on the fringe, so plz don't.

[Little BabyDoll Christine]

You'll find that most people here are against intentional exposure and/or making it easily known that you are diapered (noise, waddle, thickness etc.) Most see this as forcing others to deal with things they don't need (or want) to know about your underwear choice And many feel that it makes it harder for us when we become known for our own wearing because the general public automatically connects us, who aim for discretion, with people who have done as you have, which they generally see as exhibitionism Whether correct or not, that's just how things are I don't claim to speak for anyone but me though I've been here long enough to know how most others here feel about intentional exposure I will offer this: there's something to learn about not feeling shame over wearing diapers here, and that can benefit us all I don't want to share my wearing with anyone I'm not intimate with in RL, and so far it has worked But when the day comes that I get discovered unwillingly I'm not going to let it make me feel bad I wear diapers because I need to and if someone has a problem with that, then they have the problem- not me- and I'll make sure they learn that

Bettypooh

This lecture is long overdue

They are called "privates" and by extension, that whole part of the body and whatever is associated with it has come under the aegis of "private". It does not mean just diapers, the currnet teenage fad of wearing trousers two sizes too large is coming under fire and we are in the early stages of seeing laws against that, which used to be the case into the 1970's. A child who's underthings showed would be teased or worse by her own parents to make the point that they were not "brought up in a barn". Even an eraly issue of DPF had letters about this kind of thing and Tommy made it clear that this was underwear and if one went about exposing oneself, one got what one deserved. Over the last quarter century a ghetto mentality had set in, which has been amplified by the internet and specialty forums which attract some poerson in dire need of lives and some time away from the web. I saw a letter in DPF in the late 80's/early 90's referring to the permanent fecal stain on plastic pants under the title "The Orange Badge of Courage" since it showed that you were a "real" baby. How ghetto-bunny is THAT?! By "ghetto" I mean isoloated and fed back into itself

[Necros]

Well, first of all welcome to the community.

Second of all i can relate to the excitement given by exhibitionism but as others stated above we are all considered the "outer limits" of the fetish world. Actually, interesting tidbit of information i once read a book on sexual deviance and the different fetishes people have and ab/dl was put in the "extreme" section.

I can relate totally to your feelings, heck nothing would excite me more than to run downstairs in my apartment building with just my current diaper on but i would be committing social suicide and i would hurt every ab/dl that the people that saw me would then encounter. Its not like we're pointing the finger at you and judging you for your wants and likes we are merely remarking that by doing what you are doing now you are hurting the community.

One example of one hurting the many unintentionally is drag-queens(kings) vs transgendered/transexual individuals. I came out to many people as being transgendered and about everybody compared me with a drag-queen which isn't the truth because drag-queens do it for the show and we do it because we feel the need to be ourselves. I'm not saying i have anything against drag-queens (they're very entertaining and hot in some cases) but the general population is not educated enough to see the difference between the two (even if they are very present in society and not as secret as this lifestyle). Imagine if people have trouble distinguishing between drag-queens and transgendered what its like when one individual acts like you do in public, i can safely say you might be the first ab/dl most of those people will ever see and they will always have the idea of us being exhibitionist and seeking cheap thrills in public.

Self-control is the key here, don't let your diaper love control you into doing things detrimental to the entire community.

Necros

[BabyGizmo]

there is a lot of information here. and i thank you all for not just jumping to a "your and idiot go to H***" mentality, and explaining your points. and thank you for welcoming me into the community.

this has made me think a lot more about the actions one takes. and with a community standpoint established, i can go from there to more closely guard my own actions. although, i would like to open an intellectual conversation. while my own motives may be more selfish (pleasure-ish), i also believe a bit of exposure is almost a movement? a sort of "i can wear what i want" action. this has been done before, a prime example being that at one point in history, women where not allowed to wear pants. Though action, and exposure, those who wished to, did. and now it is common place. and in japan, we can already see this becoming the case, when adult diapers can be bought at most drugstores with childish prints, or waddle thick sizes of thickness.

this is in no way meant to start an argument, but a discussion. i understand that it is looked down apon, and will be thinking before i act more often.

[rusty pins]

May I suggest something here that may ease the minds of many members? It's true that people see showing off in your diapers around others as exhibitionism and forcing your fetish on other people around you. Quite often people are caught doing it, perhaps by someone nearby who notices and calls the authorities. While the debate still rages on weather or not it's illeagle to flash your diapers at someone else, the consensis is that it really hurts the AB/DL community either way. Most people who know a little about AB/DL's already think we are wierdos and pedofiles. Some people are just now beginning to understand a little about this lifestyle. Someone purpously showing off their diapers in front of people in public does often make the news and gives us a bad reputation.

That said, I guess I can understand how you may get a thrill out of knowing people have seen your diapers. WHat I suggest as a compromise is looking on this site (or others you may belong to) for any local diaper parties hosted by AB/DL members. Even if you have to drive a few hours to attend one, it's a way for you to be around people wearing just your diapers. The benifit is they are like minded people who are also in diapers themselves. Maybe this is a much safer way for you to exhibit yourself to others in diapers.

[Little BabyDoll Christine]

The big prolbem to your solution for the thrill seeker is, where is the thrill in that? A necessary part of exhibitionism is that it is done in public where there are all kinds of persons. It is not just the like-minded. This is the case with all flashers

There can be no compromise here because one side, presuming that it has all the tools in the kit, is flat out wrong and all an attempt to compromise does is validate that wrongness. If that side does not have all the stones in the tiara, then the compromising side is taking part in insanity and validationg that. This is just Anthony Weiner in Depends. To "compromise" is to be AS WRNG in the first place. Here is an example I say 1+1=5: You say it is 2. Some "conflict resolution" geek says "Oh, just compromise and split the difference" So we com up with 1+1=3.5. That is just as wrong as 1+1=5, or 45 or -5 or -2. Anything but 2 is wrong. There is a hard boundary between correct and incorrect in any proposition.

Nor is this a "mistake" since it takes effort to do up until it becomes a habit. A mistake is something unintended such as hitting the wrong key, transposing letters or numbers or hitting the wrong note. The action is intended

[Diapered Jason]

Second of all i can relate to the excitement given by exhibitionism but as others stated above we are all considered the "outer limits" of the fetish world. Actually, interesting tidbit of information i once read a book on sexual deviance and the different fetishes people have and ab/dl was put in the "extreme" section.

I find that very surprising as I can think of many other fetishes, which are more dangerous or could easily be interpreted as an illegal or sick act, but all consensual. What about the rape fetish, choke fetish, scat-play, watching your partner cry, etc.? Heck, the 24/7 slave/master relationship is much more extreme than a diaper fetish.

I think the people in the BDSM community who consider us the outer limits do not understand that we are the same as them, just with some different props added. Even if you look at it from the infantilist's perspective, you are still giving up control to a dominant figure, which is one of the core feelings associated with BDSM scenes.

The most interesting thing is people in this community who do not turn to diapers for sexual pleasure consider sadists and masochists who have a diaper fetish and participate in BDSM activities to be extreme, whereas this type of diaper play appears to be closer to the core BDSM community than the non-sexual diaper fetish enthusiasts. It seems we have a case of "who is pissing on who's black kettle." Reality is we are probably all in the same boat. As a masochist, it does not matter to me.

That said, if you are an exhibitionist, I recommend getting a video camera and posting your videos you made at home online if you want people to see you. For the most part, any BDSM activities including the diaper fetish performed in public should be discreet or done at the dead of night.

[happyindprs]

I'd like to comment on "forcing your fetish on someone." The only way anyone in the diaper community could do this would be to go out in a public place with parents and children and everyone else wearing just diapers or diapers and a t-shirt or diapers and a onesie, shortalls or other adult baby attire. Going out in public in adult clothing and wearing a diaper underneath is not forcing your fetish on others. Having your diapers be exposed due to bending down or over or stretching for something overhead or whatever is not exposing your fetish, it is just bound to happen when you wear diapers out in public. Having a pacifier in you mouth in public, Wearing a baby bonnet, carrying a stuffed animal, carrying on. talking baby talk, or in general assuming the role of infant or toddler in public is improper. Nuff said.

[Necros]

The big prolbem to your solution for the thrill seeker is, where is the thrill in that? A necessary part of exhibitionism is that it is done in public where there are all kinds of persons. It is not just the like-minded. This is the case with all flashers

There can be no compromise here because one side, presuming that it has all the tools in the kit, is flat out wrong and all an attempt to compromise does is validate that wrongness. If that side does not have all the stones in the tiara, then the compromising side is taking part in insanity and validationg that. This is just Anthony Weiner in Depends. To "compromise" is to be AS WRNG in the first place. Here is an example I say 1+1=5: You say it is 2. Some "conflict resolution" geek says "Oh, just compromise and split the difference" So we com up with 1+1=3.5. That is just as wrong as 1+1=5, or 45 or -5 or -2. Anything but 2 is wrong. There is a hard boundary between correct and incorrect in any proposition.

Nor is this a "mistake" since it takes effort to do up until it becomes a habit. A mistake is something unintended such as hitting the wrong key, transposing letters or numbers or hitting the wrong note. The action is intended

Exhibitionism is a fetish like any other, and to compare the concept of exhibitionism to math is illogical. Trying to understand the thrill will never be done if you're not one yourself. Your attitude towards "Conflict Resolution Geeks" is totally right if someone is trying to tell you that 1+1 = 3.5 but when it comes to complex emotions everything becomes harder to distinguish and that's where civilized adults find a middle where we all agree. Like Diapered Jason said, take a camera and post it online if you want the exposure thrill, that's a perfect example where a compromise can totally work. I might be mistaken but i sensed a bit of frustration in your post? If this is true, chill, we're all adults with diapers having a civilized conversation

I find that very surprising as I can think of many other fetishes, which are more dangerous or could easily be interpreted as an illegal or sick act, but all consensual. What about the rape fetish, choke fetish, scat-play, watching your partner cry, etc.? Heck, the 24/7 slave/master relationship is much more extreme than a diaper fetish.

I think the people in the BDSM community who consider us the outer limits do not understand that we are the same as them, just with some different props added. Even if you look at it from the infantilist's perspective, you are still giving up control to a dominant figure, which is one of the core feelings associated with BDSM scenes.

The most interesting thing is people in this community who do not turn to diapers for sexual pleasure consider sadists and masochists who have a diaper fetish and participate in BDSM activities to be extreme, whereas this type of diaper play appears to be closer to the core BDSM community than the non-sexual diaper fetish enthusiasts. It seems we have a case of "who is pissing on who's black kettle." Reality is we are probably all in the same boat. As a masochist, it does not matter to me.

That said, if you are an exhibitionist, I recommend getting a video camera and posting your videos you made at home online if you want people to see you. For the most part, any BDSM activities including the diaper fetish performed in public should be discreet or done at the dead of night.

Totally agree with you, there's creepier fetishes out there then exhibitionism or ab/dl. It was sexual deviance 101 so you can't expect much from such a popular book.

Necros!

[KrisNdiapers]

I would like to add that even though I haven't left the USA, I know that other countrys have a different status quoe for what is exceptable behavior. Most of us from the states would say displaying your diaper in public is wrong. But the exceptable behavior where one is from should dictate right from wrong. Japan and Germany are known to not be so reclusive of adults publicly wearing diapers, or dressing as babies, or for the matter just wearing only underwear. I am from the USA and I dont know 100% what is exceptable in other countrys.

[OKMe]

... Going out in public in adult clothing and wearing a diaper underneath ... and having your diapers be exposed due to bending down or over or stretching for something overhead or whatever is not exposing your fetish, it is just bound to happen when you wear diapers out in public. ... Nuff said.

+1

[rusty pins]

I'd like to comment on "forcing your fetish on someone." The only way anyone in the diaper community could do this would be to go out in a public place with parents and children and everyone else wearing just diapers or diapers and a t-shirt or diapers and a onesie, shortalls or other adult baby attire. Going out in public in adult clothing and wearing a diaper underneath is not forcing your fetish on others. Having your diapers be exposed due to bending down or over or stretching for something overhead or whatever is not exposing your fetish, it is just bound to happen when you wear diapers out in public. Having a pacifier in you mouth in public, Wearing a baby bonnet, carrying a stuffed animal, carrying on. talking baby talk, or in general assuming the role of infant or toddler in public is improper. Nuff said.

I 100% agree! Having a diaper accidently show out the back of your jeans if you bend down is the same as someone's BVD's or Jocky's showing. Nothing wrong with that as long as it's accidental. Purpously flashing your diapers to unsuspecting people to get a thrill is a different thing entirely.

[Bettypooh]

I 100% agree! Having a diaper accidently show out the back of your jeans if you bend down is the same as someone's BVD's or Jocky's showing. Nothing wrong with that as long as it's accidental. Purpously flashing your diapers to unsuspecting people to get a thrill is a different thing entirely.

And yet with a bit of care, such exposure will rarely happen I am always aware that I am diapered. Being TG and having spent nearly two years in RL in another gender role I am very aware of how the public reacts to people who are wearing something they do not expect to see so for my own comfort I make an extra effort to not let my diaper be directly exposed Someday it will happen, I'm sure but I think the question here is more along the lines of what level of discretion is proper, and where a person who didn't exercise enough discretion might have an adverse impact on the others here. It is a hard thing to know someone's intent unless they state it, yet even then situations vary. I could wear my yellow high-backed plastic panties with a pair of low-waisted pants and a top that barely tucked in and be fine- until I bent down If I knew there was a good chance I'd be bending down I'd never wear those together. In public it would never work because I drop things fairly often (usually my keys or change), yet for a less clumsy person it might work OK Where things go sour is when a person knows there is likely to be exposure and either doesn't care or actually desires it Worse is when such exhibitionism is frequent and blatant. I sometimes take risks to feel the excitement of doing it, but I always temper that against the possible situation it might cause to happen. Note that I accept the fact that it is my action that causes the situation, and therein is where things differ when others believe that those situations are not being caused by them, but instead by the wrongful perspectives of others who were unwillingly involved There is blame on both sides when a bad scene occurs because someone's diaper is exposed, but there is one side which you do have some control over- and that is you

How much do you value the friendship of those here who believe that reasonable discretion is best? Is it worth a bit of loss of pleasure to you from having to keeping your diaper hidden from plain view to be a part of this community? Or do we wish to apply that standard to those we allow in here with us? As simple as adults wearing diapers is, there are a huge number of very deep subjects that arise around it and a huge number of people here who are trying to understand those issues and build a consensus through shared thoughts. I will never ceased to be amazed at the depth of thought I stumbled into when I became active in the ABDL world Were it not for the fact that I don't want to share this part of me with those in my day-to-day life, I'd love to point them to this site so they could see this too and learn from it. This is as good as a online forum gets

Bettypooh

[drew21]

me i am scared of getting caught

[Strifer684]

The apparent culture of the community, at least in DD in terms of the voiced opinion, created by itself, is that extreme exhibitionist actions are heavily frowned upon. Which itself is an extension of the culture at large and the view of misinformed or uninformed masses because of stories which make the news. It is okay for a baby to have a messy diaper…but unpleasant for others to experience. We'd all hope it was taken care of post-haste. We can all find exceptions if we look hard enough.

On the individual side, I personally find smoking repugnant. Having to choke on smoke in public,inhaling all that shit expelled from other people, having it blown in my face, having to be stuck behind it on the street, and having to avoid tossed butts and having to see pictures of diseased body parts on empty boxes littered in the streets. Everything about it bothers me a lot. But I suppose I'm in the minority there, yet the general consensus has changed that is should not be forced upon people indoors and in certain outdoor areas. But overall it is accepted by most that my personal plight is overlooked and extremist. From that I could say that wearing and using in public is just the same, the smell is irritating, but they could walk elsewhere or if I'm walking by it would only be temporary. But it isn't seen as such, is it because they aren't smoking out of their asses? I don't know. It is culturally formed and reinforced. You look atthe skimpy things some people wear and ask why a diaper, which is more substantial, is not okay. Maybe the issue is the discretion lent to that area of the body as related to the bathroom and bodily waste? People want to pretend it doesn't exist (like I'd like to be able to do with smoking). There are circumstances where wearing a skimpy outfit IS inappropriate regardless.

In regards to Christine, I'm going to have to disagree and side with Necros in certain regards. Your opinion is valid, and welcome, but to say that everything is very solidly right or wrong is a bit narrow and a result of socio-cultural conditioning, as well as life experiences. Again, I'm not saying it is bad or necessarily wrong. But there is a lot more grey area to everything beyond the castle walls of our lives or cultures. People do things in many various ways in all aspects of life. Taking your example of 1+1=2 and saying otherwise is ridiculous would be seen by many and agreed upon; however, 1+1=sq rt 2 is true in the case of vectors, but most are unaware of that, as I was until recently (but I understand the point you were trying to make with general views and information you had…it's impossible to know everything).

It depends on the perspective. Also the fact that what has defined itself as the 'hard sciences' as epistemologically and ontologically superior, which it is no more that any of the other 'soft' sciences is because of the institutional and other factors that are wrapped in assumptions that we take for granted. Again, not saying that we can question it all, because we'd never get anywhere; however, being able to question those assumptions when aberrations appear is key to progression instead of, for example, the labeling of Copernicus a fool by his scientific peers for insinuating the earth was not the center of the universe, despite the fact that we could look up at the sky everyday and say with certainty that through OUR OBSERVATIONS that the sun moved across the sky, not the other way around. Science consists of theories, posits, and assumptions…the law of gravity is not absolute, there are aberrations. Testing runs on statistical confidence of 90, 95, or 99% confidence, certainly strong, but by no means definitive. Even something simple like determining if all doves are white, by counting and observing white doves could be done differently by different people. What do I define as white (could vary culturally or personally)? Any shade or just a bright white? Do dirty doves that look grey count? What is a proper sample size? It could be done by 100 people and come back with 100 different, yet in many ways valid, answers.

Moving back to the sharp divisions, we create those, not necessarily intentionally. An outspoken minority shapes the discourse into an all or nothing dualism. I fear opening another can of worms, but say the prolife/prochoice debate. I, and I venture to guess most others fall into a grey area, if they really took the time to consider things, though I could be wrong. What I can say is that the two polarized positions are extremes themselves, and in the process of supporting them they have walled themselves in against the other pole…it attempts to remove ambiguity, but in doing so it creates a solid distinction between the two, which becomes a matter of yes or no in support of a position, not, 'yes,but…' when is the combined sperm and egg an actual person? Or what if the pregnancy has a very high risk of death for the baby and or mother? Or what if the developing person is severely damaged? Or what if the pregnant party was raped; is it the woman's body or the baby's; do we have the right to decide for the developing baby to abort it? And the list goes on.

Here some may have a strong opinion or belief that there are no exceptions. That's perfectly fine, but others might find that not to be the case. And there has been lots of debate in trying to iron out details like when 'it' becomes a person, etc. Those dualistic distinctions simplify, but also generalize…which has its problems, just like moving in the opposite direction can be seen as too specific or nit-picking.

The maturation and defining of a community is important, and not all agree completely, but it is what it is in regards to the socio-cultural boundaries we've created (or those before us have), whether intentionally or not; but it keeps a semblance of order, predictability, and reliability in adhering to it.

Overall: 1) Be wary of hidden assumptions in our thinking (I certainly rely on many myself to make life easier, but also unintentionally overlooking those things I take for granted when looking for a solution). 2) Perspective of other possibilities can always be found. It could always be otherwise if you look at other cultures. But what we have (socially and individually in our experiences) is what we take as our practices. 3) There are many instances where there is not a solid boundary between right and wrong. Using points 1 & 2 we can see these more clearly because our culture and individual natures can blind us to other possibilities. To avoid sipping down the slippery slope of philosophical conjectures, even right and wrong are tied up in our personal and social milieu.

I'd love to ponder the thrill and embarrassment of being discovered in public at times. And others, too, ponder various other acts that would likely be frowned upon by others outside and inside the ab/dl community. That is the great thing about this site, is that it allows us to explore those feelings without actually doing it. We were all noobs in the scene at one point. Should most of these people be directed to the role-play section? Probably. But we want to nurture an open-minded community and not tell people who have had the same thoughts and feelings others have had at one point or another that they are fools, losers, etc. in a condescending attitude (though we often mean well to help others avoid getting into trouble or further hurting the perception of the community).

We have made great strides in developing a community that is going through growing pains as it matures in its structure here, but we need to engage, educate, and NOT give into the gut reaction of a solid boundary between right and wrong by telling another person off or putting them down (not saying all are doing this, but in general the comments can be off-putting and act condescending to isolate the other party and opinion against the generally said/unsaid majority).

I count myself among one of the many, many lurkers, who make up the true majority of the community. I'm not saying they share in my opinion, but that there exists a large, unseen mass of members beyond those who are confident enough to post regularly.

Taking the route of teaching, like has been done by Betty and others in various ways in this thread, but focusing more on nurturing those misinformed or who don't take the time to read the entire board archive before their first post (yet some also get annoyed when others 'necro' a long dead thread), will go a long ways in growing the community to a point where maybe, just maybe it could one day be mainstream and accepted to an extent. This cannot happen if we isolate our own.

These are just my musings on the subject...

::sneaks out the side door to return to the shadows::

[BabyGizmo]

thank you so much. it is very nice to see others who are open minded. while i can now think about my actions more, i still think some things are not as set in stone.

and the comparison to smoking i believe to be a great example. should they have to smell my baby powder or maybe a mess for a few seconds, its big news, but smoking is fully acceptable? even when they are smoking within an illegal area, they still demand their rights to smoke anywhere they want. so why cant i chose an undergarment i like?

as far as exposure though, ill think a little bit more in the future. purposely showing off in the right setting can still be fun.

[dirusnightwolf]

Hi All,

I end up showing my diapers with out even realizing it. I really dont care what other see. I find that I have a little too much humor in my inc, problem. I just love the looks of shock on peoples face when i bring a rolled up diaper to the trash can in a public restroom. I remember i was in a restroom and one older guy asked me why i wear diapers. I just told him that my parents never potty trained me, and laughed as I walked out.

[BabyGizmo]

lol, there was a girl at my work who wet herself today, me haveing my diapers on, i just said it happens to me all the time. she felt a bit better after a bit of a talk, and her mom showed up with clothing.

[Guest scenarioX]

I do this when I feel like it, but it's easy to get noticed in a acceptable fashion. I don't waddle or pull my pants down so half the diaper shows, but I will do things like buy a pack of Depends and open it in the store.

Example... A chick with a Baby in Walgreens saw me taking out a Depend underwear from the recently purchased pack as I went into the bathroom. Another time I "accidentally" dropped a Depend brief from my back-pack in front of a woman...She simply smiled like "that's ok, all of us deal with issues like that sometimes"

of course that was all pre-staged...it's harmless and erotic... it hurts no one.

Going into places and obviously WANTING to be seen wearing diapers..that is pushing the limit and makes you look weird.

Unless it's Halloween or the like.

However, no one can do a damn thing about it, you're not naked so it is totally legal.

[BBB]

Legal vs. Moral