Girl Troubles

[College Baby]

Hello all!

I've come seeking some advice. I've been dating this wonderful girl for > 1 year, and things have been going great. Except, however, with diapers.

Don't get me wrong, she's much more accepting and indulging than most girls; as long as I keep HER satisfied with plenty of vanilla sex, every month or so I'll get baby time (diaper changes when I'm wet, stories, bottle feedings, etc.). She even wears them every once in a while (not really a DL but she likes the attention and every once in a while it turns her on, but very quickly she finds the diaper to be too hot and uncomfortable).

Problem is, as she tells me, she doesn't "understand" it. She does it with me because she knows how much I like it, but is sort of confused by the whole thing. I think it's just the weirdness of seeing me as a normal college-aged guy one second then a baby the next; the transition is admittedly a little jarring. She also thinks my watching videos of boys in diapers is kind of weird, but I've tried to explain to her how lots of male AB/DLs do it because we imagine ourselves BEING that guy and getting turned on by the diaper, not the man wearing them.

So I guess I turn to y'all out there to ask: how can I get her to understand/accept it more? I'm so grateful that she just didn't totally freak out about it and I think it's AMAZING that she wants to play along with me even though it sort of weirds her out. Besides pointing her to sites like BitterGrey's den, what do you think I could do to help her better understand this important part of my lifestyle?

[Depends1578]

All I can offer is 3 simple words: Don't Push It. Be grateful you get those times of being changed and having her wear, because I'll tell ya what, they are very far and few. Communication is also key and sitting down and talking back and forth about it more in depth would help her to probably understand more. Just keep her feelings in mind too, because everything should be on a mutual level.

[LuvsGurl]

Honestly, some people just never get it.

If ABDL is an important part of your life I would seriously consider going after a more fet-friendly partner. Her not "understanding" it now leads to her not liking it later leads to divorce further down the road.

[AutieAB]

I've come seeking some advice. I've been dating this wonderful girl for > 1 year, and things have been going great. Except, however, with diapers.

Did you learn to understand your ABDL desires in a year? Almost certainly not - it takes ages to understand the intricate whys of ABDL. So just give it time. Possibly years, who knows. Eventually she'll learn what makes you tick and why. In the mean time, what Depends1578 said. You're one lucky guy that she indulges you as much as she does. Be careful not to wish for more than she's comfortable with.

[AutieAB]

If ABDL is an important part of your life I would seriously consider going after a more fet-friendly partner. Her not "understanding" it now leads to her not liking it later leads to divorce further down the road.

Not necessarily. Not "accepting" it now might lead to trouble later but "accepting" and "understanding" are two different things.

[BriGuy]

Ya'll gave LuvsGirl negative marks for something that rings true? *sarcastic* Nice! Absolutely you'll have an easier time getting someone involved in your abdl side if you seek someone out in the kink community. The unfortunate thing about the vanilla crowed is that a lot are rather closed minded and slow to accept things they do not understand.

[tcc]

"I've been dating this wonderful girl for > 1 year, and things have been going great. Except, however, with diapers.

Don't get me wrong, she's much more accepting and indulging than most girls; as long as I keep HER satisfied with plenty of vanilla sex, every month or so I'll get baby time (diaper changes when I'm wet, stories, bottle feedings, etc.). She even wears them every once in a while (not really a DL but she likes the attention and every once in a while it turns her on, but very quickly she finds the diaper to be too hot and uncomfortable).

Given this, WTF is your problem? OMG. You didn't get kicked to the curb - you didn't say HOW you revealed to her or when - and she indulges you. Your problem, Dude?

Problem is, as she tells me, she doesn't "understand" it.

She doesn't HAVE to understand it. She already humors you and indulges you! What MORE do you have to have. Guys would give up BODY PARTS to have what you have, but for you, it's not enough. Um, you need to start a gratitude list to refer to every morning...

She does it with me because she knows how much I like it,

...and you want what ELSE more?

but is sort of confused by the whole thing. I think it's just the weirdness of seeing me as a normal college-aged guy one second then a baby the next; the transition is admittedly a little jarring. She also thinks my watching videos of boys in diapers is kind of weird, but I've tried to explain to her how lots of male AB/DLs do it because we imagine ourselves BEING that guy and getting turned on by the diaper, not the man wearing them.

Um, maybe watch videos of FEMALES in diapers, or, maybe, given what you've GOT, don't screw things up and just don't watch videos at all? Maybe she's a little worried about you being gay or something she CAN'T handle?

"So I guess I turn to y'all out there to ask: how can I get her to understand/accept it more?

With what you HAVE, you need her to understand MORE or accept MORE? Are you kidding? OMG

I'm so grateful that she just didn't totally freak out about it and I think it's AMAZING that she wants to play along with me even though it sort of weirds her out. Besides pointing her to sites like BitterGrey's den, what do you think I could do to help her better understand this important part of my lifestyle?"

I reiterate, it's not for HER to understand, nor does she have to. And, if you want her in your life, you need to balance what you HAVE and what you think you NEED. As I said, guys would give up body parts to have what you have, even a little bit of that. But, for you, it's not enough.

I guess people don't appreciate what they have until it's gone. Dude, you pretty much have it all. Isn't that enough? Oh, yeah. Bragging about what you HAVE, apparently not...

Did you learn to understand your ABDL desires in a year? Almost certainly not - it takes ages to understand the intricate whys of ABDL. So just give it time. Possibly years, who knows. Eventually she'll learn what makes you tick and why. In the mean time, what Depends1578 said. You're one lucky guy that she indulges you as much as she does. Be careful not to wish for more than she's comfortable with.

Some of us don't know WHY we are how we are or HOW we got to be that way. A great many of us don't really care. It really doesn't matter as it isn't really "fixable" - without a lot of time, desire, dedication and money - and it really isn't a life threatening situation to like to wear diapers and use them. They are absorbent underwear. They are a legitimate product, with a legitimate use, and are not illegal, immoral OR fattening. Some of us are truly comfortable with who we are and how we are.

I strongly disagree the "just give it time" idea. Many in our community "hope" a partner or significant other will "someday" just "understand" - whatever it might be we would want them to understand. We are either proactive, and lay a solid and reasonable groundwork for others in our lives, or we need to go back to the drawing board, get to know and become comfortable with OURSELVES, and THEN move on to revealing to and incorporating others into our lives.

It sound hard and clinical, but time after time after time, people act so helpless and adrift, and seem so sad and without hope. It's tough, but it's doable, and the more we help ourselves, the more we HELP ourselves...

[sarah_ab]

ok how about this?

whats your favourite food? no WHY is it your favourite food? No don't tell me what you enjoy about it... thats not WHY it is your favourite food. WHY do you like the way it tastes, or feels... no don't tell me because it reminds you of grandma's house... again thats a reason you enjoy it, but not WHY you enjoy it...

what i'm getting at is, its easy to say the things you like about something, the things it reminds you of that increase your desire for it, but no one understands WHY their brain has decided this is something they like.

You can tell your girlfriend all the things you enjoy about diapers, but you can never get to the real root of WHY your brain tells your body to react the way it does... you could just as easily like wearing a leather jock strap over diapers... so because you can never truely understand WHY, how can you expect her to?

ANd has she even said it is a problem? if she engages in it with you, and seems to enjoy herself when doing it.. then what the hell IS the problem???