Some Thoughts On Ab As I Get Older....

[BabyChris121675]

This has been on my mind for a while as I am getting older, and wiser about a lot of things in the adult baby and community. I've been thinking about it a lot and I need to vent, to just let it all out and see what others think.

First off, a little more about me than what I've written about myself here in the past, I'm 35, I have Asperger's Syndrome, mild CP, a hearing loss and I now am pretty much in diapers all the time. I also live alone, well- not entirely- I have my pod of stuffed killer whales that keep me company. lol. As I've gotten older, I've started to realize the futility of having the whole AB side of things. I use it as a coping mechanisim for wearing diapers and what have you. Plus, for some reason- the form of Asperger's I have tends to be the regressive kind. I see myself as an over-grown six-year old that if he didn't have the Asperger's- could very well be working as a theoretical analyst.

I've been around the AB world for a while, and I admit I don't post here much, but that's cause I don't always have a lot in common with other ABs. AB is something that to me was a small part of me until I ended up back in diapers. I have interests outside AB that take up a lot of my time- such as XBox gaming, hanging with friends, pro sports, and when I was working- my job. I have felt like a fish out of water in that regard as diapers and AB are not my big priority in life. I've tried very hard and worked hard to not let my AB side overtake me and let it be the most important part of my life. I've seen what that can do to people. I've seen it destroy lives.

I've tried to fit in at ADISC, other places around over the past 10 years I've been online ever since my first dial-up internet compatable computer. I've seen it all- I've had mommies disappear, baby girls disappear on me as I have dabbled in the daddy role and was one time a daddy in RL for a while before I got screwed over there by a meddling 'uncle'. As I get older, I think about a lot of things and I think about how times change, and yet I am still the same. I've made friends, I've tried to associate with other ABs, but due to not having a car or driver's licensce it makes it hard. I've had people patronize me too much, treat me with kindness and then show their evil sides and show me that they aren't what I thought they were. I've been chewed up, spit up and tossed aside like a dirty diaper and it gets frustrating.

I'd make friends with some people, and then for some reason- they decide they don't want to be friends or some just prove to creep me out with the constant 'What diaper do you wear?', 'Do you wet and mess your diaper?' questions I get in IMs. UGH. Or some have their ultierior motives. Plus, I've had run-ins with the obligatory con-artits and people wanting something for nothing. Another favorite of mine are those who are looking for jerk-off material or whatever.

I maintain only a few close friends in the AB community because of the fact it's hard for me to connect with others because I am not as 'into' the AB as others are. I don't always wanna talk diapers- I wanna talk about sports, video games, fun things- and maybe share one of my theories and listen to others as a friend does. Another problem I have are run-ins with those who constantly want to role-play via IM. I get bored with that easily because it does nothing for me and it's not real. I prefer something real than a flipping fantasy. That's why I tend to be invisible when I am on Yahoo.

As I get older, I yearn to try to connect with other ABs more, maybe socialize with some if they'd be willing to give me a chance. However, as I said, not having a car or licensce makes my options limited. I also am on a fixed income. I don't have a lot of disposable income- LOUSY pun right there. lol. I maintain my life as best as I can and I keep going with things because I have to. No one is going to take care of me, as I don't want that- I wanna live a full life, have the American dream. At least I'm living on my own, doing well money-wise and I have learned to maintain a balance with diapers, AB, and what have you.

A lot has been runnig through my mind. I really think a lot about this and I wonder if others have had the same kind of feelings I've had. I'm not trying to get people to feel sorry for me- far from that. I just wanna see what kind of responses I get. As for my mood now, I am rather happy, not even all that depressed. I rarely get depressed as I have a lot of things that take my mind off the negatory factors of live.

I look forward to hearing people's responses.

BabyChris121675

[turtlepins]

I think you've said some things many of us would agree with. I'm not much for role playing either, because it does nothing for me. And I'd love to visit with other ABs but not to talk diapers and baby stuff, just to talk life stuff. All of us need to be careful what we post where. I'm not visible on Yahoo either, and I don't post anything about my AB side on Facebook, because it wouldn't be appropriate there. I do all my AB stuff right here, and here alone, because I know I'm safe here.

Live life to its fullest and hope for the best. Glad to see you're working on that! Thanks for this thoughtful post.

[curiositykilledthecat]

I definitely agree, I love meeting other ab/dls to hang out with however the conversations tend to border on redundant. Most of the time when I meet with others, we may talk a little about the ab/dl stuff just to relax each other a bit however most of my discussions are about personal lives, hobbies and stuff like that. I rather get to know the person more than the diaper they wear.

[diaperbrownie]

Most of the conversations I have with other ABDls online seem to be not much more than fap material. These conversations like "do you wet or mess" and "are you wet or messy now?" tend to be the norm. If talk is desired beyond the contents of a diaper, then the conversation is terminated. Not many peoplewant to talk "fluff" talk like daily stuff (the game, the news, etc).

EDIT!

By this post I mean whenever I desire normal talk, the other party isn't interested. Dirty talk always seems to be the "hot" topic.

[lambcannon]

i can certainly relate... even as a diaperfur i have < 0 interest in reliving a faux childhood experience i don't remember... as an old cuir, the last thing i want to do is make goo goo talk to some complete stranger (female) for however many dollars a minute... having said that i completely understand other folk's need to escape the dreary dull reality of amurrican middle class existence... believe me, i get that.

ok, i do enjoy having sex with other men in diapers... but really have turned off to a.b. friends who i.m. me to tell me about their smelly butts... i really do appreciate all the diaper reviews and other great information on this site, the camaraderie can be truly warming... but it (and other forms of masturbation) absolutely, just positively, cannot compare with real life activity face to face with others... srsly

[sarah_ab]

For me personally, i don't have a desire to meet other abdl's..... because it just don't care to know if someone else wears diapers or not. For all i know some of my friends are ab or dl.... but its none of my business.....

I enjoy coming here because i can post about ab stuff, or just about random shit..... and i enjoy the chat room, and there are people who i would most likely be friends with in the 'real' world, not because they wear diapers, but because we have other things in common....

the thing is, for me, ab is sexual, its a roleplay scenario my boyfriend and I enjoy engaging in for sexual pleasure..... so another reason i've no need to meet other ab/dl's is because i'm not interested in having sex with them......

[WallaWalla]

I agree more or less 100%, and I will concur with a lengthy vitriolic rant!

I'm about as 'into it' as anybody can be(wear nearly everyday, spend all day looking for the mail truck when I run out, a row of pacifiers sitting on my desk), but the fact of the matter is that it's just not enough material to serve as conversation for long. Maybe it could be if most of the people you talk to were interested in being a little creative, but it seems that almost any fantasy that gets shared with me in these communities follows a very staid template. The sexual topics themselves, pervasive as they are, are little more than a half-assed and barely legible screed of neediness. Where do this nigh illiterate folk come from? Are they just handling the internet in an infinitely more casual manner than I and many people my age do, or are they actually that uneducated in most cases?

Perhaps the majority present simply have no other outlet through which to express their sexual desires? It's the only conclusion that I can come to, that many have no other place to go, and with no other place to demonstrate this aspect of their persona, they spill it onto others 'like them.' The issue there is that none of us chose this fetish, and from that, there's only a small amount which we share in common because of it. I've mentioned before that any sort of self-selected interest is going to be remarkably more telling of a person's character than something handed down to them in the manner that this is.

I guess for myself, there's also a fair bit of generational clash. I was more or less a-okay with these desires by the time that I was seventeen in thanks to the internet and media, while there are many here who lived decades w/o knowing that there was anybody else out there who shared the interest at all. So, while it's not really a big deal at all to me, I suppose I can understand how it is to some.

But yes, most of the time I feel a pretty strong sense of distance between myself and most of the people here, or in any AB/DL community for that matter. There are a few here in there who I talk to regularly and with some familiarity, but it's just not my thing to relate to people on this sort of a basis it would seem. I feel like the posts that I put the most effort into are ignored altogether while my one-liners and picture threads catch a +1 here and there...

...but whatever. It's no real loss in the end, I've found a few cool people here and that's frankly all I need.

[ric2]

I guess it can be very difficult.

Sometimes the only place people can talk about nappies is online or with online friends...

That was certainly true for me to start with.

Fortunately I can now talk with a physical friend too which has relieved a lot of the pent up frustration within me.

Ric

[Dill_Pickle]

I think many here come, find out that their AB or DL'ness isn't really all that strange, get bored with the topic (hey, me too, though the support role makes me feel good), and then leave.....

And, what we find is that this interest has a decently wide range of PEOPLE involved..and that most of us are PEOPLE first...with the same concerns as PEOPLE, a small part of which might involve our AB or DL (or TG, or gay, or whatever) sides.

Think about it...DailyDi himself is posting about his house remodeling, and, if we are lucky, he might mention the diapered part...or not....and this is the person that runs the entire website!

And WallaWalla, here's your +1 vote...

[BabyChris121675]

I agree with all the posts. I am one that just gets tired of all the people that contact me want fap material and or just want role play- I want more real conversations and talk to people about life, and what is going on in life. I love my life outside AB, I have a lot of good friends and life is good for me. I just have gotten to the point where things get annoying in the AB world with all the fappers, whiners, and baby-talkers. I like to see a wide-range of topics, and things to talk that aren't fap material.

BabyChris121675

[WBDaddy]

I agree with all the posts. I am one that just gets tired of all the people that contact me want fap material and or just want role play- I want more real conversations and talk to people about life, and what is going on in life. I love my life outside AB, I have a lot of good friends and life is good for me. I just have gotten to the point where things get annoying in the AB world with all the fappers, whiners, and baby-talkers. I like to see a wide-range of topics, and things to talk that aren't fap material.

BabyChris121675

Pretty much the reason I don't post much here other than in the actual product discussions. I find the fappers repulsive (and, quite frankly, they behave more like corprophiles than AB's or DL's), and I don't really have much interest in the heavy roleplay either.

That said, the nature of a message board is that it brings together people with a commonality, and that commonality typically dominates the conversation. Musician forums are dominated by discussion of instruments, performances, other musicians, etc. Financial forums are dominated by discussion of finance. Hence, it's not surprising that an AB/DL forum is dominated by discussion of diapers and all things related to AB/DL.