Ab/Dl And Addiction

[Vic]

I've just read the thread on "Infinite Jest", and it made me think. Now I wonder if we're not more succeptible to addiction than others. For the most part I have to refer to my own life, and life experiences. I have known other AB/DL's but even though we talked for awhile we didn't get into really deep discussions.

First off we have become fixated on an early period of our lives, this is obvious. The earliest memory I have was of being in diapers (I was about 4, my Mom kept me in diapers when I slept because back then I was a bedwetter(as I have again become) and needed diapers still), and knowing, I mean really KNOWING that I wanted to be in them till the day I died.

We are all different, but at the same time we have this desire to wear diapers in common. I grew up in an abusive house, and my childhood was traumatic, but this is not true of all of us. Some of us have come from very loving families with ideal conditions while they were growing up. Most of us fit somewhere in between the two background groups, yet all of us are fixed in early childhood or infancy.

Whatever the reason we've grown up with this secret side to us, (I mean, who you gonna talk to about it?) and we've lived this type of double life. Many of us have thought that this must mean that we are defective and wrong, and have had many feelings of inferiority because of this. Alcoholics and addicts often have felt that THEY were defective and inferior as well.

Like addicts we look for something outside ourselves to make us happy, and we don't see ourselves as the authors to our own misery. We go around making unfair demands on others, "life would be great if so and so would only treat me better, or keep out of my way, etc". A lot of us want everything and we want it on an all or nothing level, and we turn to drink or other substances when life doesn't give us what we want. We wallow in depression, or we hold ourselves to the flame of self loathing. We store up resentment and wonder why we are not happy.

It's so hard for many people to understand that the world is what it is, and you need to be okay with being who you are, and live your life as harmoniously as you know how with those about you. When it comes to resentment you are only hurting yourself by holding grudges, by forgiving and forgeting you are setting yourself free. Happiness is not being numb, excessive use of recreational drugs or drink only leads to hopelessness and death.

So many guys on these boards are searching for someone who will make THEM happy by doing everything that THEY want them to do TO THEM, and then THEY have the nerve to be pissed off when THEY OFFEND OTHERS by their demands. They are far too immature to realize what it is they are doing that offends people, they never get that there is give and take in a normal relationship. Then they wonder why people are creeped out by them. AB/DL's can be really out there when it comes to reality. I know, I've read enough on sites and in chat rooms to tell you that.

We're all also very different in our likes and dislikes, and are VERY offended by other AB/DL's when we don't agree with the way that they are, they don't get that all of us, have different diaper desires. Some AB/DL's just like to wear diapers, (DL's) while some like to wear diapers and be treated as an infant, play with baby toys, and eat baby food (AB's). And all of them like to do these things to a differing degree, or like to do it in a different way. Some just like to wear them, others like to wet them, and still others like to wet and mess. Some who mess are into coprophilia, others just get cleaned up as soon as they've messed.

Coprophiliates are people who have a fascination with scat, or if you prefer, feces. Some of these people like to stay in the messed diaper for an extended period of time, some will even smear the feces. It's all just part and parcel of their desire to be diapered to them. So all of us are different, but in some ways we're all alike. We've all kept most of this secret from everybody, and really, that's not really healthy.

Addicts like to keep secrets, that's why AA and NA have a program where you evaluate all your past misdeeds (mistakes) and share them with another. So I just wonder if growing up liking to wear diapers didn't in fact make us more likely to become addicted to other things. I don't think that wearing diapers itself is so much an addiction as I think that it is hard wired into us, but I do wonder if being this way led to the problems that I had with addiction in my life.

I know a lot of AB's and DL's who like to use, and who like to drink, but I wonder just how many of us would admit that we have a problem or have had a problem with addiction in their lives. It's not something I know as a fact, it's just something that makes me wonder. It's really just an opinion of mine, but it seems likely to me because hiding things and some of this stuff are symptoms associated with addiction.

Peace,

Vic

[sarah_ab]

I think you made a very adequate description of an sort of addict, and this i feel could fit any group of people in any sort of community, be it a fetish or other...

I myself am not an addict, nor do i have an addictive personality. But then again i did not grow up wanting to wear diapers, and didn't discover this whole ab thing until was 21... And while I don't go out telling everyone i know about this, i'm not ashamed, and when asked outright, i just explained it and moved on... but maybe because i didn't have the fascination since childhood, i am different than those you have described....

very well written post though.

[Bettypooh]

Addictive personality? Sure, that's me I like happiness and feeling good and there's nothing wrong with that My current addiction is cigarettes, a far cry from the drinking and drugs that once ran my life So where is the reference to diapers? I'm not addicted to them Obsessed, maybe but not addicted- and there is a difference between the two You can control an obsession through self-imposed limits, but an addiction sets the limits for you and short of abstinence you can't control it I'd say that a better definition for most of us here is a fixation They mean something to us which is far beyond their intrinsic value and worth to most people It's more than physical or emotional or logical or any combination of those, it is something special which we ourselves do not quite understand so we can't fully explain it to others but that's how it is. Sometimes we can find some of the reasons or causes if we try, but even then many non-ABDL's experience the exact same things (sometimes more extreme than us) and they find the idea of wearing diapers repulsive Go figure....

If you're so inclined to satiate your wonder why you like diapers take a look inside. You may discover many other things along the way For me at least it's been a long, strange trip indeed and I've learned some things about myself (such as my having an addictive personality) that has allowed me to deal with my life better. It's allowed me to understand others better too Like my of diapers it may not mean anything to someone else but to me it's priceless and I don't want a life without diapers no matter what caused me to be like this. So long as we accept ourselves and don't let this harm other people there's nothing wrong with being ab ABDL- it's just who we are.

Bettypooh

[FretaBWet]

Vic, I too thought your your post was well written. I didn't see anything there I really disagreed with and it made sense.

Bettypooh's post really made me think about the purge cycle a lot of people in the community perform. I've never known an addict to actually just stop like that. I think there are some that may have addictive personalities and some addicted to diapers but not all of us. Her post also made a good point about some other description because addictive doesn't fit.

It was refreshing to read something serious on here.

Hugs,

Freta

[curiositykilledthecat]

I don't have an addictive personality. i don't drink, smoke or do drugs. I can have alcohol and not get drunk. We all have our vices and mine are diapers and video games.

[sarah_ab]

its important to remember, addictive personalities do not just refer to addictive substances such as nicotine, caffeine and alcohol, but rather to an individual who easily becomes dependent upon.... a thing... a person, a place, an object.... so you can have an addictive personality, and be addicted diapers, or being addicted to reading, or be addicted to alcohol....

[Bettypooh]

its important to remember, addictive personalities do not just refer to addictive substances such as nicotine, caffeine and alcohol, but rather to an individual who easily becomes dependent upon.... a thing... a person, a place, an object.... so you can have an addictive personality, and be addicted diapers, or being addicted to reading, or be addicted to alcohol....

Then I guess I should add that "I'm Bettypooh and I'm addicted to the Daily Diapers forums" which is rather obvious

Bettypooh

[AndB]

Well thought out post. I've often thought some of the same things, and it leads my wife to ban me from watching "Intervention" (which is one of my favorite shows).

Diapers, however, fall more under an OCD heading. You obsess about diapers or compulsively wet yourself. Nobody really knows how you get there, and in many ways it doesn't matter. What matters is how you deal with these things, and that's different for everybody.

There's also one other important distinction: you can't die from wearing diapers!

[sarah_ab]

addiction doesn't necessarily mean an lethal substance.... you can be psychologically addicted to ANYTHING!!!! physical addiction is different than psychological addiction.

Now some people certain have obsessive compulsive personalities here, and some have obsessive compulsive disorder, and diapers factor into their symptoms....

so lets not say 'well i dont drink or do drugs so i dont have an addictive personality'.... cause thats just silly.

[Guest NaughtyAshes]

You know, its funny that this is coming out of a conversation about Infinite Jest since the book is basically a critical examination and undermining of "AA culture." The quasi-religious, "spiritual," disavowal of ones existential position as a human being in favor of a arbitrary and ridiculous self-help programs. Well at least, thats just one of the many things the text is trying to accomplish.

[Billiardnut]

I dont think that my (life long) desire to wear diapers is an addiction per say - especially when using the word "addiction" as referring to people who smoke or drink. As far back as I can remember I have always had the desire to wear a diaper. I have finally had the personal freedom (aka divorce) to wear a diaper and have been 24/7 for the last 2 or 3 months. I couldn't be happier at this point. I have no desire to wear underwear (have always hated it) I would rather wear a diaper - is that an addiction? Personally I think that is just a choice.

I had an "first time in my life" experience at work last week -

I am used to having a diaper on and not giving it any thought what-so-ever of peeing when and where I want. When at work, I always wear Abenas or Wellness briefs plus plastic pants as an added precaution. For some reason my tapes came loose on the diaper I had on that day, I went to the bathroom to attempt a repair but there was no use - that diaper was trashed. My first mistake was thinking that I could make it the last 45 minutes of work without a diaper - so I took it off threw it away.

For the first time I felt "naked" without a diaper. Not only was I literally unprotected but I felt very uneasy and kind of concerned. I couldn't wait to get back home to put a diaper back on. It was the strangest (yet soothing) feeling that I have ever had. I do not have an addictive personality, I smoked for 4 years and one day, I decided I was going to stop so I threw the pack away and haven't touched them since. So what I felt that day, Is that an addictive feeling? If not, what is it? Is it normal? I am more curious than concerned at this point.

[Vic]

I dont think that my (life long) desire to wear diapers is an addiction per say - especially when using the word "addiction" as referring to people who smoke or drink. As far back as I can remember I have always had the desire to wear a diaper. I have finally had the personal freedom (aka divorce) to wear a diaper and have been 24/7 for the last 2 or 3 months. I couldn't be happier at this point. I have no desire to wear underwear (have always hated it) I would rather wear a diaper - is that an addiction? Personally I think that is just a choice.

I had an "first time in my life" experience at work last week -

I am used to having a diaper on and not giving it any thought what-so-ever of peeing when and where I want. When at work, I always wear Abenas or Wellness briefs plus plastic pants as an added precaution. For some reason my tapes came loose on the diaper I had on that day, I went to the bathroom to attempt a repair but there was no use - that diaper was trashed. My first mistake was thinking that I could make it the last 45 minutes of work without a diaper - so I took it off threw it away.

For the first time I felt "naked" without a diaper. Not only was I literally unprotected but I felt very uneasy and kind of concerned. I couldn't wait to get back home to put a diaper back on. It was the strangest (yet soothing) feeling that I have ever had. I do not have an addictive personality, I smoked for 4 years and one day, I decided I was going to stop so I threw the pack away and haven't touched them since. So what I felt that day, Is that an addictive feeling? If not, what is it? Is it normal? I am more curious than concerned at this point.

Going without a diaper? Must have been rough! No, seriously, I don't think of addiction as pertaining to diapers. I honestly feel that we are hard wired in the core of our beings (those of us who have been lifetime AB or DL), from when we were very young, and that it is not a question of habit, but of who we ARE.

An addiction can be to just about anything, and I mean anything. We have people who have eating disorders, sexual addiction, tobacco, all the many types of chemical substances that are out there, and alcohol. One could be hooked on romance novels for instance, but it's once it has become an over riding obsession (worse than ocd) that it becomes an addiction.

When you mentioned that you were happily divorced I had to smile, been there, done that. I don't wear diapers every day as you do, but I do have to wear them everynight as I'm a bedwetter. I usually wear them a couple of times during the week other than than that, but you enjoy wearing them all the time, I see nothing wrong with that.

Diapers have always been an obsession with me, as I'm sure they are for most of us on this site, but I wouldn't say I'm addicted to them. They bring more meaning to my life, I consider them to be a part of who I am. I'm somewhere between AB and DL, and it doesn't bother me, although I feel I'm more DL with AB tendencies.

My main query in the original post was about addiction because I've had addiction in my life, and wondered if some of the behaviors we have as AB's and DL's doesn't put us in a more likely position to develop addictive tendencies. Hiding this side of ourselves and leading a double life as it were, it's enough to drive you nuts sometimes I can tell you. Who of us hasn't had to keep this little "secret" of ours, when we really wished we had someone who we could talk to about it?

No I'm not saying that we're "addicted to diapers, just asking if maybe we aren't more suceptable to becoming addicted to something. That's it really, and it is in no way a "fact", just an opinion I've had that I finally wondered about the validity of it. You can have an opinion, but that in no way makes it a fact. So be of good cheer and wear your diapers with pride, I won't tell on you. If you have had problems with addiction though (all you reading this), please speak up, it's really nothing to be ashamed of.

Peace,

Vic

[TBlazer]

Is the comfort of wearing diapers and the comfort of satisfying an addiction the same thing? If so, than I could see how one would lead to more of the other.

And I know that the satisfaction of wearing a diaper far outweighs the social pressures to not act like a baby. I think understanding the fact that what we're told as being right and wrong is a lot of bs opens us to exploring other desires that may other wise not be realized because we dont realize any other fantasies.

Seems like there are so many odd connections between our personality traits that it would be impossible to tell. The concept, though, made me think on a deeper level than some other persons post about what position to be in while peeing. Thanks.

[FretaBWet]

TBlazer, This "And I know that the satisfaction of wearing a diaper far outweighs the social pressures to not act like a baby." is another good point that hes been offered in the thread.

That one sentence strikes me as being spot on. Society puts pressure on everyone by setting arbitrary limits on what will be tolerated and those outside the fence suffer some form of punishment. This is exactly why many here keep everything under the radar.

Hugs,

Freta