I Can'T For The Life Of Me Kick My Binge/Purge Habit

[Kreefun]

Ordering diapers online is an option for me. A difficult one, but an option nonetheless. I, however, am an impulsive diaper-wearer. I don't wear with any frequency, and in fact, due to my binge and purge habits, wear rather infrequently. I'll wear for a while and get really frustrated at myself for spending money on this and enjoying it. I've posted darn near this exact topic several times and I hate to do it again, but this drives me crazy. I usually hear the saying "If you're enjoying it, just be happy with yourself" or something similar. And that's good advice. But I can't just relax and enjoy it sometimes. Since I'm so impulsive, sometimes I want diapers right away, and feel the need to go to CVS/Walgreens and buy what's there. But all that's there is Goodnites, Depends and those Tena pullups (Which admittedly, I've not tried) and they just don't usually cut it at a cost/use ratio. I've tried Abenas once and loved them. I'd love to have regular access at a moment's notice to them. But sometimes I insist on diapers right then, and there's no high-quality ones to be had. I'm in that state. I want diapers. I could afford ordering them, but sometimes I want diapers and the next day, won't want anything to do with them for a month. I could go out to CVS and spend some money on them, but then I get mad that in my mind I'm wasting money, despite really enjoying them

And I feel like a donk because I've made similar topics in the past, but can anyone relate here?

[sarah_ab]

why not buy the abena's, wear one and then if you don't want to wear anymore, put them away in a box in the back of your closet and forget about them until you feel like wearing again, then you will have instant access to them.

Just becaue you don't want to wear something doesn't mean you have to throw it away. There are lots of clothes i had that i just don't feel like wearing for a while, but i don't go and throw it away, i just toss it in the closet, until one day i have the desire to wear it.

[Guest rosemonde10]

An extreme measure that DOES work in theory, but you have to be desperate to do it, which sonds like this is the case.

Take you diaper stash, drive for hours out of the way to another county or state, rent a little storage space, and toss them in there and lock it up. Pay the monthly fee and your diapers are secured. Heck, maybe toss in aall your ABDL stuff as well.

The point to this action is that if you are REALLY craving some wet time, you will have to drive far out of the way for it. It tests your desire. It's extreme, but can work.

[enfant]

The problem you have isn't with the binging, it's with the purging. You need to give yourself permission to keep a stash, as insurance for the time when you'll want to wear again in the future. I understand the feeling of frustration that leads you to the impulse to throw them away, but if you can overcome that you'll be a lot happier in the long run.

Personally I don't throw diapers away unless they've been used.

[Kreefun]

why not buy the abena's, wear one and then if you don't want to wear anymore, put them away in a box in the back of your closet and forget about them until you feel like wearing again, then you will have instant access to them.

Just becaue you don't want to wear something doesn't mean you have to throw it away. There are lots of clothes i had that i just don't feel like wearing for a while, but i don't go and throw it away, i just toss it in the closet, until one day i have the desire to wear it.

This is a great idea in theory, but a lot of my frustration is a product of cost. I think "Dammit. I just spend [insert price here] on something I plan to pee in and throw away". Despite me enjoying it, it's tough sell for something with a short life and a reasonably high cost.

[square_duck]

I'm with Sarah on this, as it is what I do myself. I keep a stash, and they are always there for me when I want / need them. Its a kind of mental security blanket.

Now about the issue of "waste of money' you might check into buying cloth diapers then. They are more expensive, but do pay for themselves over time. This is also presuming that you have access to a washing facility. Buy 1-2 and some plastic pants, keep them in your closet in a box, or what ever, Use them 8 or 10 times and you have the equalivantof buying and using a bag of Bambinos.

MEh...been down that road, and today I don't worry about it as I have extra money to use (waste...spend) on such luxuries. But it is what I have always done, Keep my stuff in a closet where I know it is, and use what I want when I want. It's kind of like a savings account for your money, it's always there when you need it...unless you totally screw up and blow everything on some other 'want'

It's mostly a mental thing, and you have to get out of your own way to make it work....either you do or don't...only you know what will work and make you happy.

qwack

[WallaWalla]

So, WHY do you get bothered by your having of the diapers? What do you feel is wrong with it? Generalized sense of shame? Feel like you aren't living up to expectations?

I'll be honest, I have a hard time believing it's the money alone that's the deterrent here.

That's pretty much the essential question here imo.

[sarah_ab]

if its a question of money than do something like charge yourself a dollar every time you say swear, or smoke, or have a drink, and know that this is your 'diaper money' to be used only on diapers...

or wear cloth.

[drynot]

From my experience the binge/purge issues went away as I got older. I learned to be more accepting of myself and realized that this was a part of my being that wasn't going away any time soon. I threw out hundreds of dollars of 'diaper stuff' over the years but in the end I always broke down and bought more.

I would suggest you try and limit yourself to one bag of diapers at a time. That way if you do need to purge again it won't cost you a fortune.

[enfant]

This is a great idea in theory, but a lot of my frustration is a product of cost. I think "Dammit. I just spend [insert price here] on something I plan to pee in and throw away". Despite me enjoying it, it's tough sell for something with a short life and a reasonably high cost.

That's just shame talking. Pleasure is worth spending a bit of money on. Heck, vanilla people routinely spend twelve dollars or more for a 12-pack of good-quality condoms, and those get used once and thrown away too, but people don't seem to mind too much. Some other kinds of birth control are even pricier--vaginal sponges, for example, $15 for a three-pack. Why shouldn't kinky people spend as much to enjoy our sex lives as vanilla folk do?

And heck, there are plenty of other one-use items out there. 16 Bambinos cost about as much as a large combo pizza with sodas--and the pizza and sodas aren't going to last anywhere near as long. A 12-pack of Abenas costs as much as two movie tickets. Molicare Supers cost about the same per diaper as a good bottle of beer. (When was the last time you heard of someone throwing out five beers because they were frustrated with themselves for spending so much on a six-pack that they'd just drink and throw away?)

Your problem is that you think there's something wrong with you for doing this. And there isn't. Life's too short to beat yourself up for liking what you like. Spend your money sensibly, and relax.

[Guest rosemonde10]

You can substitute one thing for the other. trade one bad habit for the other.

Every time you think diapers, do something like smoke a cigarette or a joint of marijuana.If you trade one pleasure for another, then you'll forget the first one.

Of course don't listen to me. I'm not Dr. Phil McGraw.

[orange clock]

I know others have already said it but you need a stash badly. It isn't hard. Just cough up the cash once and order some abenas, even if you are not in the mood. It may seem difficult to do now while you are not craving diapers but you will more than thank yourself later. Hide them in a place you normally would not see on a daily basis and just forget about them. When you do begin to crave them, BAM!!! you remember your stash. You may then pat yourself on the back and enjoy your well deserved padded evening. When it's all done you can forget about the stash again until another diaper craving arises. If your stash is running low, it would be much easier to order some more while you are in the mood. That way you have your diapers right now and you will have them again latter when you want them. Rinse, wash, repeat.

All you need to do is take the plunge and just order some. Even if you can't imagine yourself wanting them right now. You will thank yourself later, trust me.

[Letluvsrool]

Go smoke a joint or something... Relax and don't be so hard on yourself for being into weird things. Everyone has a quirk or two about them; accepting the things that you cannot change will most certainly be a positive improvement to your life.

[Bettypooh]

Plan not to purge next time You know you're going to be wearing again so stop doing something which you know doesn't work and actually hurts you (or at least hurts your wallet) Have a place to stash ready and just use it instead. If it's not handy you will reduce the temptation to go back and toss them out later on When I started crossdressing I went through the same thing- it cost me a bundle Finally when the 'purge urge' hit I went to a prepared hiding place and hid my bag full of goodies. I knew that even if they were found nobody would know who hid them so I was safe Getting back to them wasn't easy so there would be no excessive temptation. Doing it that one time didn't cure the urge to purge but it made the next binge nicer since I had exactly what I wanted and in time did cure me from purging.

Bettypooh

[sarah_ab]

That's just shame talking. Pleasure is worth spending a bit of money on. Heck, vanilla people routinely spend twelve dollars or more for a 12-pack of good-quality condoms, and those get used once and thrown away too, but people don't seem to mind too much. Some other kinds of birth control are even pricier--vaginal sponges, for example, $15 for a three-pack. Why shouldn't kinky people spend as much to enjoy our sex lives as vanilla folk do?

And heck, there are plenty of other one-use items out there. 16 Bambinos cost about as much as a large combo pizza with sodas--and the pizza and sodas aren't going to last anywhere near as long. A 12-pack of Abenas costs as much as two movie tickets. Molicare Supers cost about the same per diaper as a good bottle of beer. (When was the last time you heard of someone throwing out five beers because they were frustrated with themselves for spending so much on a six-pack that they'd just drink and throw away?)

Your problem is that you think there's something wrong with you for doing this. And there isn't. Life's too short to beat yourself up for liking what you like. Spend your money sensibly, and relax.

wait wait wait so only vanilla people use condoms??? i mean seriously, i have diaper sex, and use condoms, i have bdsm encounters and use condoms... i mean not JUST vanilla people use condoms silly! lol......

[Ipiphe]

Actually, I completely understand your situation. When I was a teen, and managed to accumulate a stash I would occasionally purge it. At the time, it wasn't so much for lack of money (I fit into Pullups and they were easy to attain). I think it was a combination of fear of someone finding out and slight self-loathing back then.

It took me 5 years of living on my own to finally buy diapers online. It happened recently, and I bought a sample pack of Bambinos. I felt satisfied for a couple weeks with just the two, but eventually I splurged on the 16 pack. Granted, I don't really want to make diapers a daily part of my life, but managing them and having my little stash up in my closet works out stellar for me. Sometimes I get the notion that I should really abandon the ship, but imagine the stress you will save yourself by just keeping a few around.

[heartwood]

This lifestyle is a roller coaster, your on it and your gonna have to ride it.

[WallaWalla]

This lifestyle is a roller coaster,

The binge/purge lifestyle?

Things are pretty easy going over here.

[Guest rosemonde10]

It's easy to say "stop purging" if you don't have a problem purging in the first place. The binge/purge cycle affedts all people in all kinds of ways. Gamblers, crossdressers, porno freaks, etc. You build up a stash, then feel bad for having the stash, then purge the stash.

Then later, you find yourself with another bought stash. It's a vicious cycle.

The best solution IS to indulge yourself, and build a stash somewhere safe. That way like someone said when you have the craving you can satisfy the craving.

[enfant]

wait wait wait so only vanilla people use condoms???

<scratching head trying to figure out where I used the word "only">

My point was that kinky people aren't the only ones who spend money on single-use goodies for the purpose of sexual enjoyment.

[Kreefun]

So, WHY do you get bothered by your having of the diapers? What do you feel is wrong with it? Generalized sense of shame? Feel like you aren't living up to expectations?

I'll be honest, I have a hard time believing it's the money alone that's the deterrent here.

That's pretty much the essential question here imo.

This is honestly more accurate about myself than I could have even seen about myself. It probably is something like that. I can't outright be sure if shame is the case, but it's certainly a possibility. And I think in a few days I may just order a bag and see how it pans out. I know there's not much to be ashamed about as it's something I enjoy and it's not hurting anyone, but I think it's just that it's something about my life I feel obligated (And understandably so) to keep under wraps, as it's not a "normal" thing that people see or understand in everyday life. But I gotta give you guys credit. Despite me making this topic like 4 times, something clicked this time. Feels kinda silly, but I gotta thank you guys for being supportive.

[curiositykilledthecat]

Stop fighting the fetish and just enjoy yourself. There's enough external things in this world to make us miserable, why suffer through the internal conflict?

[sarah_ab]

theres no reason feel 'obligated' to keep this under wraps, any more than there is to not tell someone every time you fart or burp or take a dump...

its OK to have a private life, its ok to have thoughts, feelings, emotions, desires, that you don't tell anyone about.

the internet has made people think every little thing they do or think has to be shared with the world, but this is not so. You can enjoy diapers and not have to tell everyone. Its not an obligation. I mean i LOVE cheesy romance novels, something that my friends don't like... so i just don't share this with them... is this a problem? nope, i mean its not like i want to discuss these books with them or read these books aloud with them. I am perfectly content knowing there are some things i enjoy that my friends or family don't. Its what makes me unique.

[WallaWalla]

This is honestly more accurate about myself than I could have even seen about myself. It probably is something like that. I can't outright be sure if shame is the case, but it's certainly a possibility. And I think in a few days I may just order a bag and see how it pans out. I know there's not much to be ashamed about as it's something I enjoy and it's not hurting anyone, but I think it's just that it's something about my life I feel obligated (And understandably so) to keep under wraps, as it's not a "normal" thing that people see or understand in everyday life. But I gotta give you guys credit. Despite me making this topic like 4 times, something clicked this time. Feels kinda silly, but I gotta thank you guys for being supportive.

Just think it out and evaluate what really matters to you in your life. Mull over what you feel is wrong with this, and then decide if that feeling is derived from your own standards or those of somebody else. If the fight is worth it in the eyes of what you think is right, then I think that you should fight it. But, if it isn't, then learn to let go of the guilt that's being placed on you by others.

"First, decide who you would be. Then, do what you must do." ~ Epictetus