Seeking Advice

[Guest padded_husky87]

Ok first of all I'm doing this from my phone so If it looks funny my apologies, also this is my first post on anythiny ever so I'm new to this. I'm in a dallema. I'm a 22 year old dl who lives in his mom and step safe basement. I'm cirantly goimt to college and am pay for that and my own bills...Ect I've recently got over bronchitis( I have slight asthma) and quit smoking after 4.5 years. I'm going on a month now. I'm recently as of two weeks ago had panic attack and was having them all day since well was but Im now on some medication. Engziaty is a pain in the diaper.

I've been wearing diapers everyday all day and night well except during the times Im around my mom and step dad. My engziaty goes away when I wear them and once I'm done with the med everything will be fine but I don't want to stop wearing diapers. I don't need to explain why as you know but I'm afraid to tell them. I have a really good relationship with them and I don't want to mess that up but also Im afraid I'd they catch me it will blow up or make the situation worse. On top of that my step dad is really good friends with one of my friends. There near the same age. My step dad can't keep his mouth shut about anything and if my friend finds out it will likely reach everyone all my friends and coworkers cause we use to work together and he is still very well in that group. But I can't stop right now because It makes me feel better witch I feel I need right now. It's helped my quit sm I feel pathetic. I don't know If they will understand and wearing diapers has helped me stop smoking and helped me get through my nervous break down which probably is the no smoking and all the other poo going on in my life. I know pathetic that Im having a anxiety at the age of 22. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Again I apologize if this is messy or in the wrong spot Im new to forums and am using my phone due to my motherboard on my computer going bad. I just don't want to tell them and they find out on there own a.d when I explain they may want me tosses a psychologist witch I don't think I need. I have a saratonin problem and dont need an explanation from a therapist to know why I like diapers. My real dad already thinks I should just because his good friend is a Christian therapist.

[LILJIM]

Reading between the lines You needed the diapers to help with medical needs. So just tell them that if it comes out.

[diaperpt]

First, good luck...you run a risk of being found out and the longer you wear (and the more frequently you wear), the more likely it is that you will be found out. That said, this doesn't mean you need to tell your Mom and step-dad. It means you need to understand the risk. If you feel telling them would be acceptable, then it might be worth it. Do NOT listen to those here who will say, "If they love you, they'll accept who you really are..." BULL!! It isn't necessarily true. It might go well for you, but YOU are the best judge of how it would go.

Secondly, even as a minister in a Christian church, I say BEWARE those who label and emphasize their "Christian" status..."Christian counselling" is more likely to be telling you how sick and perverted you are for wanting to wear diapers. I can't tell whether or not you need counselling, except I don't think any of us would be hurt by having good counselling (provided we can afford it!!!). You need supportive counselling...but again, if ALL it does is tell you you are bad and a sinner, dump the Christian part and get some GOOD counselling! No, you don't need it to tell you why you are attracted to diapers unless it can give you some good strategies for life - with or without diapers.

I'm in some heavy duty counselling myself right now, after my wife discovered my diapers.I'm seeing my problems not as being diapers, but preceeding and continuing thereby causing me to feel the need for diapers. Getting rid of them is not a solution - and in fact now, only adds to the problem. Even so, I've at least temporarily agreed to stay away from diapers. I'm starting to understand my need for diapers, but still feel incredibly drawn to them (or I wouldn't be here now!). I'm looking for some ways to change my basic way of operating. If I develop strategies and a whole new outlook that no longer makes me feel a need for diapers, I might be able to accept that. If I can do the same, but still feel a need for diapers, I'll be happy with that. My sanity and mental health, as it affects the way I live my life, is the key.

I hope this isn't too much of a garbled ramble and instead hope you can take something from this. And I repeat...good luck! It ain't easy!!!

[Guest padded_husky87]

Well I appreciated the rambling more than you know. I myself am a ramble as you can see In the bigining. The thing is I dont really want a councillor because I am happy with wearing diapers. It's not even a matter of being sexually attracted( not to say that I'm not) but I just feel peacefull, calm not as nervous and I don't have anxiety when there on. The anxiety and saratonin problem was from a laundry list of worrying about a lot.

Plus my mom amd stepping dad both like to be the boss of one another so you know how that can go. My mom has had the same anxiety problem ad I did and tried to kill herself once. They fight all the time

The thing ie I know why I like them. I had and still slightly have a bedwetting problem I wet the bed until I was 8 and was finally was able to control it enough to stop wearing. But my real dad at the time drank a lot and would get pissed off when I did which become every day. He would even make threats. That made it worse. I still do at night every once in while. So basicalley they make me feel calm, relaxed and not to mention I have been able to quit no problem since then. Which if u ask me smoking Is way worse than diapers. And this isnt like a new thing because I have had a passion for diapers my whole life. I would get excited when I was 8 and thought about it regularly even when I wasnt from the age of 9 through 21.

I just wish I didn't have to hide things from my mom. We have a great relationship and it would be nice to just be able to do what makes me happy with out worry or hiding things. As far as councilling goes my dad is on that kick cause my little brother is going to one for his theft and lying problem. So he thinks because he a pastor and a counciller that he is amazing and can solve anything( not to take away the power of god cause Im not) but I don't want coucilling And I dont want to not wear diapers cause they make my life easier and hapier. But I don't think they would understand. I wouldnt be worried about hiding if it was something like the fact that I was a furry cause that's easy to hide. But do you know how difficult it Is to walk into a store and buy a bag of depends maximum protection diapers and purchase tjem at the age of 22 or I gues any age and then have figure out where to hide them(most in a Walmart reusable bag In the trunk of my car and thevrest in a drawer hide In the back of my couch up against the wall)

Well i appreciate anyone whoawctually takes the time to read that banter and I hope for more help and comments so please feel free.

[enfant]

diaperpt is right, I'm afraid. A person who calls himself a "Christian therapist" instead of just a "therapist" (who may well be a Christian on his or her own time but doesn't advertise the fact) is likely to have an agenda other than your psychological well-being in mind.

That said, it sounds to me like a therapist (without agenda) might be very helpful for you in learning how to cope with anxiety.

Right now you're using an anxiety-coping mechanism (diapers) which may well be helpful for you, but which is turning around and causing you more anxiety from a different direction (fear of being caught). This seems pretty suboptimal to me. I'd suggest, first, finding ways to reduce your chances of getting caught (moving out on your own might be too difficult, but does your bedroom door have a lock on it?) and second, working with a good therapist to find other things that help you with anxiety too, so that diapers can be just part of the mix rather than something you feel a need for all the time. Not that there's anything wrong with using them all the time, but it's difficult and risky when you're living with people with whom you don't feel comfortable sharing your secrets.

[Guest padded_husky87]

Sorry about the double post earlier

I know I'm rambling I have wanted to talk to someone about it for a long time. Honestly until about 1 ago I thought I was the only one who liked diapers. I thought I was alone. I don't have the money for a therapist/counciler and really don't want one anyway. I just wish I was in a better situation. my idea Is that if I just tell my mom and have her promise not tell tell anyone else (which she wouldn't) and then I would have more control of the situilation then if the went rumeging through my trash or car. By the way I have the basement to my self but my mom has to go down there to get to the washer and drier also my step does office( which is just a syorapgep room for his football collection. Which I rarely goes doqn there but they do. Sometimes when I'm sleeping. Which I do wear when I go to bed. Im woried that ill take my blqnkets of and a piece of the diaper will show when she cokes down.

[diaperpt]

As I said before, you've got to realize that you are running a major risk of being caught. I got caught because I got overconfident, but the issue also was the increasing time I spent in diapers. It was my used diapers that were found before I could get them to the dump. With you sleeping in them and people coming downstairs, it seems almost inevitable that you will be discovered...if not that way, then some other way. I don't want to make you paranoid on top of being anxious, but you need to be prepared.

Even if you get cornered into going to counselling, realize that you will be steering it to the extent that it'll be up to you to say what it is you want out of the counselling. Even if your step dad insists on the counselling, its up to you what you get out of it if anything. In your case, you say you know you wear diapers because of your anxiety. You don't need to stop wearing, but would it be so bad to explore additional ways of dealing with your anxieties? or to figure out if there is some environmental cause to your anxiety (people around you, situations you face, etc...)? I'm not pushing it, because that's up to you, but if you're forced into it, look at what you can get out of it rather than be worried that the intent would be to take your diapers away (which might be the case, depending on who does the counselling...so just don't listen!!)

BTW, congrats on quitting smoking!! Keep up the good work!

Hopefully you can work toward more independence while not cutting off the relationship with your mom. Getting out of the house - eventually on your own or with a roommate who would understand you - or at least be meticulous about your privacy rights would be a great move, but I understand how hard that can be in this economy. Do you have a job - working toward getting one?...all those usual questions... If you just flat aren't able to work, can't get a job, or don't feel like getting one - no matter what - if you are not going to be getting out of that house any time soon, start planning on how you are going to deal with the diaper issue - it isn't going to go away and you are NOT going to keep it a secret forever.

[Guest padded_husky87]

Well appreciate the advice, I don't meqn to use the anxiety as an excuse but I just know why I enjpy them I gues unless I want to tell them I should just deal with out them or at least dont put myseolf In a compromiseing place. I have two more years of school and I'm done.

[Guest padded_husky87]

Well right now I live with them cause I am going to school. Before I was paying them rent and other things to help but I went back to school so that I can work somewhere better tjan Walmart lol that place sucks. But its a job and although I'm not paying rent I still have school to worry about and other exspences to think of cause there not paying for crap. my anxiety isn't exactly why I started wearing diapers. I just noticed that I had less when I was wearing them. The anxiety is due to low saratonin according to my doctor. I guese that problem is a family wide problem. Ive always thought about doing it since I was a kid and know that I am I realize how much I enjoy it. That's why I don't really want to quit. I gues unless I want tjem to find I'm gonna have to put that part of me on hold until I have my own place or least don't pit myself in a compromising position. I appreciate the advice diaperpt.

[Guest padded_husky87]

Well I guess I'm just gonna have to avoid outing myself in a comprising position. That or put away that side of me which I don't like but I know that even if it did come out and there was a possibility that it would work out I don't think ill be ready for that conversation. Wouldn't even know where to begin. I have to say if you would have asked me 5 years ago I would have never guessed I would even admit to it even online anonymously. Never the less think about telling someone. I appreciate your advice or anyones for that matter.

[ajthebabypie]

Sounds like you could use a therapist though to help with your anxiety. I suffer from severe generalized anxiety myself and seeing a therapist has helped me quite a bit. You don't even have to talk about anything diaper related.

[Dirty Diaper/Maxipad Lover]

If I'm understanding you correctly padded_husky87, you're a DL with anxiety issues, which are at least partially caused by low serotonin levels in your body. It sounds like you use your diapers as a form of coping mechanism to deal with the anxiety issues that you have, but that you're afraid that your mom and step dad will find out about them, which in turn creates additional anxiety. At this point you have a few of options available to you:

1. You can tell your Mom and your Step-Dad, and ask that even if they don't understand what you're doing, that they at least respect it and keep quiet about it. You can't control what they do from that point on, but at least you won't be hiding your diapers from them anymore. Legally, your Mom and Step-Father cannot force you to see a therapist since you're an independent adult, although in actuality, they may wish for you to see a therapist if you're to remain an "unpaying tenant" in their home.

2. You can keep your diapers a secret and continue to try to hide them if you think that this will be less stressful than trying to explain to your mother and step-father why you're wearing diapers. As long as you realize that there's a chance that you may get caught, this may be your preferred option for dealing with your parents. I should point out that not everyone gets caught, but if you don't really have any privacy, the chances of getting caught increase.

3. If you have a friend who you can really trust, preferably of the opposite sex, who will be accepting and understanding of something like this, that's the person who you'd want to entrust this information to. If your friend has more privacy than you do and/or lives alone, he or she may be willing to store most of your unused diapers at his or her home until they're needed. I would only entrust this information to a friend that I felt I could entrust with my life though, so be careful if you choose to go with this option.

While I cannot tell you whether or not you need to see a therapist, I can tell you this: As long as you do not want to see a therapist, no level of therapy will be useful. Furthermore, if you ever do decide to see a therapist, avoid anyone who advertises themselves as a "Christian therapist," or a "Jewish therapist," or a "Muslim therapist" or any other religion in association with the therapy that they practice, as has been stated before. The "good Christian Therapist" does not care about your well being, but cares about pushing their religious philosophy down your throat. If you see a therapist, see one that doesn't advertise their religion as part of their profession. There are plenty of therapists that are also Christian, but they don't advertise the fact that they're Christian as part of their profession, and likely wouldn't even mention their religion unless you asked them about it and/or had concerns about your own religion. Even the people that I know who are involved in religious organizations generally would advise you to avoid anyone who advertises their religion as part of their non-religious profession.

[Guest padded_husky87]

Well after some deep thinking, about myself and my situation. I have realized a fee truths.

First of all I think you guys are right that maybe a counselor(the right one of course) would probebly benefit me In several ways. But unfortunately I don't have the money nor do I want to risk the debt to do so.

Even if I where to go, it would be with my families intent to help me stop wearing diapers. But the fact is that Is not gonna happen regardless because I have no interest in doing so, and if w councelor where to tell me that its a bad thing and that its not normal or... Ect then at this point I would not care. It would go In one ear and out the other because I enjoy it. So going to a counselor would only help me with other things and not real what my parents would wanna achieve from It. I have also realized that part if the reason( or possibly a rather large reason why Im not ready for them to find out) is the fact that I'm not really comfortable with that part of me. I don't know why and that may be another thong that a counselor could help me (with assuming they don't disagree with it). But that's ok because this brings me to my final conclusion.

I think that just by being a part of this website and taking with others and posting with others that I possible can relate to will change that. I want to be comfortable with myself and embrace that part of me fully diaperd.( lol, diaper humor) I don't wanna stop cause It maies me happy. So that leaves me with my options:

1.) Tell them. Tell my parents and hope they just understand and leave well alone. Hope that they realize what the positives are and be cool or at least tell my mom and hope that she promises to not tell my real dad/ step dad/ or anyome for that matter and leave well alone.

2.) Keep It a secret and and either stop( don't think that Is gonna hapen) and wait till I can afford to move out, get a full Time job that gives me more hours then I am getting know plus more money.

3.) Keep It a secret and continue. Risk them finding out on there own and just be as prepared as I can for the diaper load to exploded. maybe just try not to put myself in any position of getting caught.

[happyindprs]

Ok here is my two cents worth. I went to a "therapist" back in my twenties. In fact I went to see several over the years and it really did some good for me for one reason only. I was finally able to talk to someone about my diaper desires and didn't have to keep it bottled up inside of me, the rest of it was a total waste of time and money. I found it particularly funny that anyone that finds out you like to wear diapers will tell you that you need help and that you should see a therapist. I found that almost all of the therapists I went to see were more screwed up than I was. Three of them were writing books and just got off listening to what I had to say. None of them offered any real help or hope and once the insurance money dried up told me that my desires to wear diapers was too embedded in my head that three is nothing that can be done to change that.

Take my advise and love you you are. Accept what makes you tick, tell some friends or family if that will make you feel better and you already know will accept you. Skip the therapists and surround yourself with people that like you no matter what.

[Guest padded_husky87]

I think part or the problem is the fact I have a hard time accepting myself for who I am. I have felt said and like I wqs a freqk for a lomg time cause I hired there was eokething wrong with me. I hqbespent a lot of time trying to his myself from people that I was the quit kid In school. And any friends I eo hae I act goofy and lie about myself know one would find out. I read a very interesting article the other day that said you cent accept yourself If you hide yourself from your famipy and friends. It's impossible to truelly accept yourself and be happy with what makes ypu tick I'd you xant even admit it to your own family. Know I don't know if tjats true but it just made me think. I am so sick ofliveing my leife aroumd everyone else because of my own insacurity. I want to continue to wear eiapers and be happy. So does that mean in order tp live a happy life I need to just come out with it someone? Or does that mewn everyne or can you truelly accept who u r and live in secracy? I just am sick of hiding myself from people. I feel like I am just letting life pass me by and like Im lettimg mysepf dowm. Why Is it so hard to do? I am ready to accept myself for who I am and I know longer hat myself bit love muself for being differeny bit still at the same time I can't get myself to just tell least my mom. I just want to continue with my life and don'te want my life to pass me up but I feel in prder to do that I need to be true to myself and just tell someone or atleast my own mother. I mewn she told me stuff that know one else In the whole world knows. Like the fact that she had an abortion before she had me( which I was support to be the only one) she dId that it honts her everyday and that It wad the worst mistake she ever made. My real dad, stead and my grandparents does not know... well I gues onow u guys know but u will never meet her so its not the point but if she can tell me that and I was calm and was there for her through her depresion over that than why is it so hard to tell her that I like to wear diapers and use them on the regular and as of recent( after being a part of thos website) I mau be into being an ab as well? Just wanna except myself and according to the article I need to tell my family no matter what the outcome is. If I'm casted out for being a little different then to bad by birthday OS on tje 9th and I am haveing a big get together with all of my family at a restraint. Maybe I should just drop the bomb then. Come In a doubled up diaper with an adventure time t-shirt and a bottle,lol that would be crazy. What do you guys think as it so hard for you to accept yourself and do u think the article was rigjt tjatyou must tell everyone you care and love about It no matter the outcome. Am I cheating myself if I dpnt tell tjem? Just as a side note I am buyont a laptop for my birtjday so I wont be using my phone here soon to get on here.