What To Expect

[Craisler]

One item that might be included in your revision to the 12 Month process is the fact that most of the people I know with long term incontinence use a variety of diapers depending on the situation. They don’t use just a single brand or weight of diaper. For example, in the morning, if their night diaper is pretty well saturated, they will put on a cheap store brand diaper for protection until they are ready to get fully dressed for the day. During the day, they will wear premium brand diapers (i.e., Abena, Molicare, etc.). At night, they will use a Dry 24/7 or heavy cloth diaper. If they are going for a doctor visit, they will use a pull-on diaper to ease the examination process. If they are going to stay around the house all day, they might use cheap store brand diapers or daytime cloth diapers. Incontinence can be expensive, but there are ways of reducing the costs.

More personally, something you might consider is taking daytime naps, if possible. Back when I was wearing diapers at night for pleasure more than need, I discovered that I didn't sleep as well. After extended periods of this, I'd get headaches, feel depressed, and be rather moody. When I stopped wearing diapers at night, I'd sleep better and all the other symptoms went away. Later, when the bedwetting started and I needed diapers, I had the same problems until I finally adjusted to the fact that diapers went going to be a way of life from then on. After a few months, I finally started sleeping better while diapered and I began feeling better. It took quite a while before I was actually sleeping through the night without interruption.

I've found that I can't sleep on a mattress with a vinyl cover. It's just too hot for me. Even if the vinyl is buried under a couple of regular mattress pads and sheets, the reflect heat is so uncomfortabe that I don't get any sleep. My solution was/is to wear a heavy cloth night diaper to pretty much insure there are no leaks.

I guess I take a more clinical view of the changes that are happening as I continue to wear diapers with increasing frequency. I don't interpret it as my body "falling apart" when I feel the bladder spasms or have unplanned accidents at totally inconvenient locations. I just view them as just incremental steps on the path to wearing diapers full time. Of course, I've been doing this for a far longer period of time than you have.

You've made more progress in nine months, than I have in about 40 years, for which I commend you. I now wish I had that kind of courage and commitment back when I first realized that I wanted to wear diapers full time.

[BlakeJordan]

I need to edit that falling apart statement. It was laziness and a poor choice if words. Better would have been deteriorating of muscles around that area. Bladder sphincter etc. in a very real medical sense. The muscles are weakening. Becoming unable to hold urine close completely spasm unexpectedly. Etc.

I do not nor did not mean it in a negative way. Just factual. And kind of in a bit of shock.

Normally I would not mind. But that much that fast was overwhelming. Both mentally physically.

Great great advice with the multiple brands multiple absorbencies. I use something of a similar technique but with the bambino line. As I've found that cheaper stuff tears quickly with one hand trying to get a good fit.

I may have to give you the brand that I use of liner. It keeps things extremely cool. Cannot tell I have vinyl there. Usually it's too hot for me too. This shields it as well as gives an extra layer of protection.

I do and am taking naps. Very helpful. Agreed. I think at this point it's more of my body just getting used to sleep through the night. Not be bothered to wake up. -for instance I had a bad migraine yesterday and did not wake up for 8 hours. Obviously I wet myself. So if I'm tired enough. Things will happen. It's just a matter of sleeping patterns at this point.

As for my progress and how quickly I've made it. It has been more of a do the work before to get the progress later.

I have spent 15 years on and off and about 200-300 hours researching this subject from different angles. Whether it be medical, psychological mental health, meditation, hypnosis etc.

I've spent a good number of those hours going through medical texts and articles on incontinence, treatment for the various causes. Texts on what cause a weak bladder and sphincter. How to treat it. Etc. atrophy of muscles. Habit creation and breaking. Meditation practice, theory of hypnosis. Practice of hypnosis for 15 years as well as meditation.

Getting first hand experience interviews and testimonies. My own background of general medical knowledge from growing up in a medical oriented family.

I spent a another good 100 hours the past past 5 years preparing. Trying different techniques. Troubleshooting. Trial and error. Etc.

So while no I still do not consider myself an expert. I feel like I've done my homework. I honestly don't know if there is enough info. On the subject for anyone to be an expert. Not at at his point.

So for me it's been a lot of prep. And a lot of payoff.

I think I also have payoff from my last attempt which weakened my muscles immensely. I never recovered fully. Making this second attempt that much easier. The first time I think I would have succeeded. Though I was not ready.

In any case. You've got some insane patience.... 40 years! Wow!

My health is normalizing. First time in a couple weeks I've felt like myself.

Forgot to mention two things in previous posts.

I'm pretty much ignoring my body during the day. Just checking in once at the end for progress. Looking back.

And the timer would be a trigger. If I were still using it. Got to the point where I was waking up every 45 min. And wetting every 15-25 min. During the day. Just wasn't needed.

-Blake-

[Creepymouse]

Well, I'm glad you're feeling better, even if it is a continuing process. It may be that your discomfort isn't really connected to your new 'condition' at all, perhaps you were ill or had a nutrition imbalance of some sort that was making it harder for you.

Every time I read one of your posts in this thread, it both makes me want to go buy a year's supply of diapers and just do it, and to wonder if I really want that. I'm reminded that it CAN and DOES work, especially with the right mindset.

[BlakeJordan]

Well thank you. Much appreciated.

As for health. I think it was a combination. Both of my body in shock. And nutritional imbalance.

This isn't to say I eat unhealthy. Just that my appetite has not been all there.

In any case. I'm starting to feel and rest better. As well as sleep through the night.

Things are good.

Thanks for the support!

-Blake-

[BlakeJordan]

Quick update

Health is continuing to get better.

Working on guide.

Body is still changing. Quite quickly in fact.

I now no longer wake up at all during the night. And awake with an empty bladder nearly every time.-wet diaper every morning.

My bladder and wetting habits are changing drastically.

In the past week it has become something in between overflow and full blown incontinence.

Let me explain.

Overflow is when the bladder cannot hold urine-is full and excess amounts are leaked out.

The problem with this is that urine stays in the bladder after urination. Becoming a risk for utis.

Normally they have you do an intermittent cath to remove any remaining urine after going to restroom.

Full incontinence is the constant leakage of urine from the bladder. What many of us dream of or typically think of when we hear incontinence. The bladder never actually fills up. Rather urine passes straight through it and leakage is constant.

Right now I'm in-between the two. Moving quickly towards full incontinence.

My bladder never fills up to capacity anymore.

When it does fill it is only a few ounces. No more than six. Usually three-four. It is also most often caused by a kink in the urethra. Where what is happening is that leakage is still happening. Albeit much slower. And due to the kink. The bladder is slowly filling.

This happens normally now if I lay on my side. I still end up with a wet diaper. But when I get up a feel a very sudden urge to urinate I cannot control that happens within a minute of standing and with little to no warning.

Rarely do I feel the urge to urinate while laying down, sitting etc. just a constant flow.

When I do feel the urge to urinate laying down or sitting. There is little I can do about it. The muscles are too weak to expel anything. I feel the slightest urge that disappears within a second. Or a tingly sensation if I'm completely focused on the bladder. But have to stand and let gravity help in order to expel urine.

The frequency between full wettings has decreased immensely. I'll end up with a full Bella only remembering urinating twice. And I know those were very small amounts.

I can still hold bladder. If I have full concentration on it. If not. Then I'm very accident prone.

So body is still changing. And Is very different than a couple weeks ago even.

-Blake-

[Creepymouse]

So you've definitely fallen off the 'cliff' that the author of the 12-month program spoke of, where things suddenly go "poof" and you know there's no turning back. Congratulations.

[clrmx]

BlakeJordan-- curious, any sexual side effects, i.e. difficulty with orgasm, erections etc?

[BlakeJordan]

Slightly decreased sex drive. I believe that's due to the increased temp. Decreased sensitivity to touch. That is not an instant erection. Takes more time to get a full hard on. About 30% longer than it did before. Become soft quite quickly if touch is stopped. About 60% quicker than at beginning.

Still able to maintain an erection. Though have to be focused with constant stimulation. - ejaculation is about 30% less powerful. The skin around scrotum is Vey loose at all times even during arousal.

Very hard to do a quickie.-takes 15-20 min. Min. At which point my bladder is bursting. Kinda an odd sensation. To start out with an empty bladder and be bursting 20 min. Into stimulation.

One of the few ways I can prevent urination for long periods of time. A plus.

Honestly though- not a drastic change in comparison to other bodily functions.

-Blake-

[Guest fakename7]

i've started in with some meditation aspects to move things along faster, but i've been a little stumped in one regard. The teachings i've had explain that you need to phrase and visualize the goal in a positive sense, rather than a negative sense. In other words, to concentrate on "i'm going to lose bladder control" works against you, because you're actually focusing on "control." Anything with the preface of "i no longer have..." or "i've permanently lost...." or "i have no....." is going to be that negative image that reinforces the situation you don't want.

That said, i've been trying to come up with one or more really good affirmations/visualizations i can use, which are entirely in the "positive" phrasing mode. About the only thing i've come up with is "i wet naturally" but that's actually rather vague, which isn't best either. Ideas?

[BlakeJordan]

You bring up a good point. Let help clarify.

The reason they say that these are negative are usually because of the association we have with them.

For instance. If a smoker decides they want to quit. You don't want to be talking about losing control. You want to point out the positives.

You have to remember that words are just that. Letters put together. It is your mind and the sentence structure that gives them power.

So in this case. Losing control of your bladder is actually the most straightforward way to put things and to communicate a positive outcome.

You have to remember that you are empowering positive connotations through visualization of your goal and the emotions you put into your thoughts. You are switching a negative on paper into a positive to your subconcious.

Again. Words are just the transporter. A way of carrying the emotion and the visual of your end goal in a way that is easiest to understand by your subconcious mind.

You decide what is positive or negative. Or right or wrong for you. Not a dictionary. And certainly No one on a forum. Your brain is extremely powerful. Powerful enough to know what your wants and needs are. To understand words are the messenger.

-15 years of meditative experience-

-Blake-

[Creepymouse]

It's more important than 'positive or negative'. It's that your mind cannot concieve of "losing bladder control" without thinking of "bladder control".

Don't think of a blue door.

You weren't thinking of a blue door before I wrote that, and now you are, even though I said not to.

More on that later, gotta go.

[BlakeJordan]

I get what your saying creepymouse. But I stand by my answer. The negative connotations are only negative to the the general public. Not to you. Your mind is powerful enough to understand your underlying motivations and reasons for giving specific words.

You give the words meaning. I have proven this time and again.

If however you want to bypass this.

Simply restate it as follows.

I am incontinent.

I am a bed wetter.

I successfully wet and mess myself helplessly just like a real baby.

I wet without realizing just Like I did when I was a baby. This is my goal. This makes me me happy.

Very true that flipping a negative into a positive takes a lot of practice. It is however possible. Your mind is powerful enough. When you get advanced enough in hypnosis and meditation. You can use the direct approach.

-Blake-

[Creepymouse]

Ok, I see what you mean. The negative I was speaking of was like "negative reinforcement" which does not mean punishment, but removal of *something* as a result of an action. "Positive Reinforcement" would be the addition of a stimulus in response to an action, on the flip side.

Being incontinent, while negative in the view of society, is NOT this sort of negative - depending on how you've defined the word in your mind. But to "lose control" or have "no control" makes your mind first visualize "control" then the lack of it, which actually reinforces the opposite of what you're looking for. I was reminded of this concept in a recent episode of Alphas, where one character has the power to 'push' people to do her will in a sort of hypnotic sense. She said clearly to another character, "DON'T... DIE." Having a working knowledge of the concepts involved, it sounded clearly like she was telling the subject to die, rather than to avoid dying (and the character DID die after all.) "Be thin" is often preferable to "lose weight", "it's warm" over "it's not cold", for other examples.

The word 'helpless' could be interpreted strangely by the subconscious (as you say, depending on the meaning you've given the word), and it could vary from person to person. I personally like the word, but I think it would present problems in my own case. The trouble can be sometimes that the subconscious doesn't necessarily want to do what the conscious wants. I believe Milton Erickson said he could make you do anything, so long as he could convince your subconscious that it was a good idea - but that was the hard part.

I prefer to phrase the last suggestion more like: "I can concentrate on whatever I'm doing; my bladder empties naturally; I can forget all about it, and it's easy to forget. Being wet is good, being wet makes me happy." The only concern I'd have is the fact that some overly literal people might start taking longer showers or standing in the rain. (Another interesting anecdote I read: In "Trance Formations" the authors mention a case where they phrased it like "since you can see, you can do X" well instead of doing X one of the audience members went blind - temporarily of course, an example of the way different minds can interpret suggestions.)

Of course, inflection, emphasis and cadence can make a big difference as well. I love some of the tricks you can do with multiple word meanings. Void is a great word for that - you can void in your diaper, you can void a check, a coupon could be void, you can avoid wetting yourself or you could avoid the restroom instead. lol

[BlakeJordan]

This is a good discussion.

I will also point out that for some (like me) the idea of no control in general is a positive.

It sort of the reason that people go see a dominatrix.

They have full control in all areas of their life. However are looking for a safe way to relinquish that control.

For many. Relinquishing they control is a fantasy. To some degree or another. The subconcious likes this idea as well.

The fantasy of incontinence fits into a way of a safe outlet of losing and relinquishing control.

Your mind knows this, and therefore the regular connotations do not apply.

All the time you've spent thinking, fantasizing and daydreaming about this has made a positive imprint on the word of control or lack there of in terms of incontinence.

You've already given the words the power it needs.

Would it work for somebody who is new to the fetish. Prolly not.

However most of us are not new if we are at this point.

-Blake-

[growlycub]

Blake, why exactly can't you push when you're trying to pee? Is it just that it should come more naturally and you don't want to create habits? In the 12-month plan he does not think it really matters whether you push or not.

[BlakeJordan]

If your goal is to get to full incontinence. That is a constant dripping or sudden urge with almost no warning. You need to do more than train yourself mentally.

What your doing by not pushing things out. And rather have a last bit drip out on its own is slowly weakening those sphincter musicales. Every time that you clamp down or push urine out forecfully. Your strengthening the muscles.

This is important to realize as in order to achieve your goal. Your doing one of to things.

Keeping your muscles In tip top shape.

And re- inforfcing the potty training behavior.

First.-- in order for this to become reflexive. You'll need to weaken your muscled I'm every way you can. Including letting urine drip begotten and after urination. Waiting until the bladder is ready to let go naturally.

This will eventually help you get to the point of it being second nature.

By doing the opposite re-inforecenent. Telling your body it's ok to wet anywhere anytime. They become relaxed more and more. Open more and more.

Combine the two-you start to weaken the bladder muscles. Which in turns shrinks the bladder. Causes increased urination. Which in turn keeps everything open, and relaxed.

It becomes a viscous circle.

Point is that it's thing that will help things speed up drastically.

You can and should however go at your own pace.

-Blake-

[abdl86]

If your goal is to get to full incontinence. That is a constant dripping or sudden urge with almost no warning. You need to do more than train yourself mentally.

What your doing by not pushing things out. And rather have a last bit drip out on its own is slowly weakening those sphincter musicales. Every time that you clamp down or push urine out forecfully. Your strengthening the muscles.

This is important to realize as in order to achieve your goal. Your doing one of to things.

Keeping your muscles In tip top shape.

And re- inforfcing the potty training behavior.

First.-- in order for this to become reflexive. You'll need to weaken your muscled I'm every way you can. Including letting urine drip begotten and after urination. Waiting until the bladder is ready to let go naturally.

This will eventually help you get to the point of it being second nature.

By doing the opposite re-inforecenent. Telling your body it's ok to wet anywhere anytime. They become relaxed more and more. Open more and more.

Combine the two-you start to weaken the bladder muscles. Which in turns shrinks the bladder. Causes increased urination. Which in turn keeps everything open, and relaxed.

It becomes a viscous circle.

Point is that it's thing that will help things speed up drastically.

You can and should however go at your own pace.

-Blake-

This was some very good point you have here. I love it.

Sent from GT-I9300 via Tapatalk

[BlakeJordan]

I get what your saying creepymouse. But I stand by my answer. The negative connotations are only negative to the the general public. Not to you. Your mind is powerful enough to understand your underlying motivations and reasons for giving specific words.

You give the words meaning. I have proven this time and again.

If however you want to bypass this.

Simply restate it as follows.

I am incontinent.

I am a bed wetter.

I successfully wet and mess myself helplessly just like a real baby.

I wet without realizing just Like I did when I was a baby. This is my goal. This makes me me happy.

Very true that flipping a negative into a positive takes a lot of practice. It is however possible. Your mind is powerful enough. When you get advanced enough in hypnosis and meditation. You can use the direct approach.

-Blake-

[BlakeJordan]

I get what your saying creepymouse. But I stand by my answer. The negative connotations are only negative to the the general public. Not to you. Your mind is powerful enough to understand your underlying motivations and reasons for giving specific words.

You give the words meaning. I have proven this time and again.

If however you want to bypass this.

Simply restate it as follows.

I am incontinent.

I am a bed wetter.

I successfully wet and mess myself helplessly just like a real baby.

I wet without realizing just Like I did when I was a baby. This is my goal. This makes me me happy.

Very true that flipping a negative into a positive takes a lot of practice. It is however possible. Your mind is powerful enough. When you get advanced enough in hypnosis and meditation. You can use the direct approach.

-Blake-

[stephrider]

Hi,

The last last week I would been incontinent for many reason. So I had read all this post, evething from the begenin to now!

It's amazing, Blake you had done a wonderfull work! Your writing is really exciting, it was a very long journey for you, is it still not finished?

How do you live it now. Your goal is it reached?

It should be good to just have a picture of tap to avoid leak on your diaper. Just to see how it ajusted.

For my part, I took a false start. I explain me, I Just took back studies in engineer schoo (I'm 30)l and I have to be concentrate on it! Another thing, my wife is not ready to see me as incontinent, she was very worried! So it's a lot of things to not reach the goal.

But even if I need to still thinking, I don't dismiss a possibility to become incontinent. I think that will be my goal once day but I don't know when!

I would like to say thank you... a big THANK YOU!

I wish you keep well

I sure that I have a lot of question to you, but I'll ask you another time.

Stephane

[BlakeJordan]

I'm not finished yet. My body Is still changing. If not a lot more subtly now.

Things are seeming "normal" for lack of a better term. While I'm at about 85% to my goal. The remaining 15% will take quite a while.

I've been focusing on health as well as work. Letting the incontinence fade into the background. Become a part of my life. Rather then the focus of it.

In any case things are still changing. My bladder is bursting at 3 oz. when it actually gets to that point. No longer safe out of diapers. Waaay past the point of no return.

I'm glad I could provide some perspective on the subject.

Best,

-Blake-

[Goerge]

It'll be interesting to know if your sphincters have atrophied and intrinsic sphincteric deficiency set in.

[BlakeJordan]

Update: -gasp

Now, as mentioned earlier I've been trying to integrate things into my life.

Let's get an update on the guide first.

I've been having troubles finding the right front end for my site. Unfortunately what I need is either hosted by another company or the license is something I need to save for.

In any case. It's something I'm going to do right. Even if it takes a bit longer then expected. It will be done.

The good news. Due to a job a job change this should happen fairly soon.

As for how things are going.

To answer the first question.

Not quite- though more and more. My sphincters are open most of the time, but not all. For instance I leak when diapered, but if out still have urges. Thing is I honestly don't trust myself anymore. Afraid I'm going to have an accident if I don't constantly concentrate at least part of my attention on holding things in. Even with that I can only hold things in for a few minutes.

I do leak most of the time. I am now on a schedule for changing. Has become quite difficult to keep track of how much liquid is being expelled and when. Even when I do urinate it has become impossible to tell when I've finished going.

In terms of integration. I've again gotten on a schedule. And am on 3rd shift with only 3 people in the building.

Makes it easier to to change, no one in the bathroom ever. Small steps from being able to change in the privacy of my home at all times.

Honestly. Things have been extremely busy. But the final 15% or so is coming Very slow.

I do wet the bed every night. So that part I think is irreversible.

I think the fact that I am still at this. Still going strong is a good sign.

The worst that has happened is a few accidents. And many inconvenient changes. Also a hanging up of the hat for a few hours at a time just a few times.

Every time that I have tried to get myself out of diapers I have had Extreme anxiety separation and fear of accidents. It has become of vicious cycle, as I know there is no way I will ever be out of diapers again.

So there we have it. I know it is only a matter of time. Whether it be a few months or a few years. So we will see.

I apologize for not updating. Honestly the last bit has been soo incredibly slow. And mostly mental in dependency that an update got pushed off again and again.

-Blake-

[Eir]

I know I can become incontinent with my fly down and I am in sight of a urinal.

I have been working on my Shy Bladder issues more and more.

Using NLP to bind these painful memories,

Asking Sophia to enter my mind and bring up these memories.

There is a ton of pain I am dealing with.

Tears and revelation precede healing.

I know I can let go when I have a clear shot, just like a real baby.

(our goals are similar)

[BlakeJordan]

Finally got through a very last roadblock. There was one position that I could still not wet in- driving. And I broke through that tonight. One step closer. And not many roadblocks left, at least not physically.

This is how I see things progressing based on the past month or so.

I think it will take about 2 months to get completely comfortable at work- changing at my new position. Why so long? Honestly it's only three days a week, only 6-8 changes a week. Until I get absolutely comfortable at work-changing in public. I don't know if I'll be able to get through the final 15%.

The toughest things I've encountered so far are not the telling people. Humility etc. it's been the physical tasks of getting a diaper on in a stall that will not leak in a very quick-under 5 minutes timeframe. For me it goes back to only having one hand with dexterity. It is doable. But takes practice to do it quickly and reliably.

I'm expecting about 2-3 months before it becomes as normal as changing at home. This is not to say that progress will not be made, just slowly.

Interesting notes. It seems I'm urinating about 5-7x a day. From what I can remember/recall. This is within a 24 hour period. And the strongest/most full when I wake up. I'd say 6 oz in the morning. And 2-3 oz. otherwise. I am however going through 4-5 Bellas a day. Each of these have 2 quadro stuffers in them.

My point is, drinking 80-120oz a day and expelling 24 oz. a day through actual urination, not leakage. This means I'm leaking quite a bit. We know Bella's hold quite a bit. Im filling them to 2/3 capacity and full at night.

So. I know that I'm leaking more than I'm urinating. I know that in order to stop leaking I need to put about 30% of my concentration on clenching down. This is extremely tiresome, a very large chore that gets more and more difficult every minute I do so.

There still seems to be some kind of response physically that clenches down the sphincter muscles, if not painfully if I'm out of a diaper for more than a few minutes. While I still leak slightly. It's much less and can get away without wearing if I do a combination of concentration and without. - problem with this is that I get extremely self conscious about the whole thing and start worrying I'm going to make a huge mess. Usually end up in a panic attack if I'm out of diapers for more than 10 minutes.

It becomes counterproductive to my productivity and my mental health. It also causes extreme seperation anxiety.

I know from other peoples experiences that trying to stop wetting the bed once started as adult is nearly impossible. I've accepted this as part of who I am.

I also know that due to the anxiety seperation and worry about wetting while not diapered, as well as being beyond the point of no return And choosing not to do training pants during the days means this is a vicious cycle. That things are going to snowball. Every time a pass a mental or physical roadblock it is that much closer. Honestly there are only a handful of things left. Each time I get through one. Things get exponentially easier and quicker.

Within 4 months I believe I'll be past every mental and physical roadblock.

After that I believe things will have a snowball effect. By the one year mark. I think I will be far beyond where the 12 month program puts someone.

Where I am now compared to where I want to be.

I don't want to know if and when I'm urinating.

I want a constant leaking.

I want to be able to change quickly in public. Reliably.

I want to have leakage while not diapered.

Most of things are things beyond the 12 month program. But are achievable in the 12 month timeframe.

I still standby that I achieved Most of what was in the 12 month program in about 2.5 months.

-Blake-