Hiding Diapers In Plain Sight

[HPD]

((This text is a reworked translation of something I wrote not too long ago for my own use. The intention was to try and increase my level of confidence by coming up with reasons as to why I wouldn't want to wear a diaper when out and about, then attempting to puncture the arguments with a bit of common sense. If no arguments was left standing, then I didn't have a reason not to do as needed. Consider it a rant if you will, and please feel free to comment as you see fit, especially if you would (not) like to see more like this.))

In the following I am assuming that for some good reason the reader would like to wear diapers under their everyday clothing, and that they would prefer the rest of the world remains ignorant about the fact that they do.

----

One might think that strangers you meet in your daily lives has nothing better to do than cry out and laugh if they notice someone wearing a diaper. From reading on this site and elsewhere it would appear that this is the main worry among diaper wearers as a whole.

The reality is though, that you really have your work cut out for you in order for people to stand up and take notice. We may think that a diaper sticks out in the crowd as clearly as, say, a wheelchair or a pair of crutches. The problem being that, as opposed to the wheelchair and the crutches, the diaper may not be considered socially acceptable.

The best way I have found for convincing myself this is the case, has been to try and see the world through the eyes of someone not wearing or generally thinking about wearing a diaper.

In fact, if you are looking for blending into the crowd, then I have come to believe that we may be our own worst enemies. Unless you would like to be seen in your latest AB outfit or wear really thick diapers, something it might be a little hard to justify, then your attitude and general behaviour will determine the reactions, or the lack of same, you will get from your surroundings.

The one true troublespot I can think of is wearing diapers around close relatives, colleagues and friends, who must remain ignorant of the fact. The rest of the world is easy to deal with: Wear your diapers as discretely as possible, and behave as you would without the diapers.

Psychological noise

Today most people are living in very busy environments, where each of us receive thousands of mental impressions for every hour we go mingling with the general public. In order to not go insane, we naturally tend to erect psychological barriers toward out immediate surroundings. These barriers work on the unconsious level, and filters out most impressions before they even have a chance to register at the conscious level. It is only where we choose to direct our attention, or if something really stands out, that we take notice.

How many billboards did you pass the last time you went shopping? How many friends did you talk to?

Even when we do notice an 'interesting' phenomenon, we tend not to remember the details. Try to recall the last time you saw someone in the street using a pair of crutches and wearing one of those hinged knee braces. Would you be able to recognise that person, if he or she moved in next door tomorrow (without the brace)?

Several factors help diaper wearers here. The main one is that we tend to think wearing a diaper is something special, when in reality it isn't. There must be thousands of medical conditions, which require affected individuals to use medical devices, take special action regularly and whatnot, all of which has the potential to cause unwanted attention: Arthritis, diabetes, colostomies, urosotomies and half a million disabilities of all kinds.

Another thing to consider is the vast variety in body shapes and types of clothes being in general use. The next time you go to the shopping mall, try to discreetely cast a glance from a distance at other people of the same gender and roughly your own age and try to determine if A Could they be wearing a diaper without you being able to see it and B are they?

Of course there will not be many adults, who will be wearing a fairly visible diaper, but my guess is you will learn that very frequently you have no way of knowing one way or the other. So take this to hearth. If you dress accordingly, then people have no way of knowing for sure, even if they suspect something.

Also try to notice the noise from people's clothing as they move and walk, including your own(!) There will be rustling and 'swish-swish' noises from way too many persons for all of them to wear diapers. It is a surprising fact that most clothes make noise to some degree or other, we normally just completely ignore it. So the subdued rustle from a plastic diaper cover is not the end of the world either.

Personally I wear tailor made jeans with a cut to fit my diaper. There was simply no way I was able to get a comfortable and discreet fit while wearing ordinary jeans. According to my friends, then wearing my 'special needs' jeans and a diaper is pretty much totally inconspicuous. Several have said they wouldn't have noticed at all if I hadn't told them, except they might have wondered about the change to the fit of my jeans.

Plausible deniability

And how does people react, if once in a blue moon they do notice and come across someone obviously having a problem? They turn the blind eye, of course. Think about it for a moment. What could you possibly come across in terms of 'unpleasant' medical conditions in your fellow man/woman, which might make you interact with that individual for that reason alone (assuming they are not in obvious need of help)?

The fact is that in today's modern society most adults are quite aware just how widespread incontinence is, even if they would prefer to be able to pretend they have never heard about it. As a diaper wearer I find it highly unlikely that anything I might need to do in relation to my condition would cause anyone to do anything but pretending they didn't see or hear that.

What would people think if they witnessed:

• A man carrying a small shoulder bag into the stall/airplane toilet: Diaper change? Toiletries? Valuables? Reading material? Change of clothes?
• Someone coming out from a stall carrying a closed opaque plastic bag to the trash can: Diaper change? Filled colostomy bag? "I'd better open and examine its contents!"? Garbage?
• Someone rustling with plastic in the next stall: Diaper change? Grocery bags? Changing clothes? Disposable plastic glove for doing icky stuff in toilet stalls due to unknown medical condition?
• The guy/gal in the seat next to them has a somewhat obvious, wide bulge in the crotch area: Diaper? Might want to loose some weight?

To borrow a term from politics, then it is all a question about plausible deniability. Don't give people any more reasons to single you out. Behave discretely, maturely and with quiet self confidence, and people will most likely jump at the chance of not having to deal with 'it', even if they do notice.

HPD.

[Pipsqueak]

Excellent advice, HPD! We so easily forget that other people are too busy with their own thoughts to pay that much attention to a stranger.

[guitar_a_goo_goo_ga]

yes, that makes complete sense and if you have any more useful insight on any subject i would like to read it. you articulate your thoughts really well.

[HPD]

Thanks fellows, appreciate it. Around here we have a saying that those, who remain silent, agrees. So I might write up another little rant on another subject of mutual interest(?) some day.

Maybe I should come up with a list of possible subject, and run a poll?

HPD.

[diapergirl]

Yea thats true people arent going to look at you when you have a diapre on unless it is like sticking way out cause people are busy and they dont really pay attention to strangers unless they could be attracted to you

[drynot]

I wouldn't worry about running a poll there HPD. Just write whatever comes to mind. I prefer a more intelligent conversation on these boards anyway.

[LordOfKarma]

well written and full of good sense, 10/10

[InDpnds]

HPD has raised a lot of good points here. About the comment that crtuches, wheelchairs, etc. are part of the everyday scene and diapers are not "socially acceptable." Actually, wet pants aren't "socially acceptable" and those of us who are incontinent and get into "trouble" away from the bathroom wear diapers or protective underwear to be "socially acceptable." No one can tell when I am wet and I just go about my business and if I've been out for awhile, just hope I don't overwet before I get home!

[Vic]

HPD has raised a lot of good points here.

[HPD]

Actually, wet pants aren't "socially acceptable" and those of us who are incontinent and get into "trouble" away from the bathroom wear diapers or protective underwear to be "socially acceptable."

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I'm wondering if we are talking about the same thing here.

While the diapers helps us become socially acceptable, I feel that adult diapers as a subject, as opposed to wheelchairs and crutches, aren't something that 'nice' people would like to be mixed up with, discuss openly or give objective consideration. People will readily discuss their latest skiing accident, but I have never witnessed someone telling about the diaper he or she needed after a local anastesia in the crotch region.

This might become the subject for another rant from me. In my experience there are even some health professionals, who considers adult diapers to be the domain of the severely mentally and/or physically disabled, and the 'weird'. (Sorry.)

HPD.

[InDpnds]

Excellent point, HPD. It is true that people may openly talk about a skiing accident or an operation, but will not even think about broaching the subject of incontinence. And I would fall into that category. But with more ads coming out for things such as Depend, Poise, etc., the topic may slowly be emerging from the depths! But the complete openness with which we are discussing probably won't any time soon. I think the subject would be an excellent "rant" as I know your thoughts are well organized. And it is no help to us that health care professionals still relegate diapers, incontinence etc. into the realm of the weird or unspeakable. I'll be looking forward to hearing more!

[Elven_Youth]

What you say makes sense and is logically put. Most people don't notice anything and I have looked at people and wondered, there really is no way of knowing; unless they go out of their way to make it obvious. If people notice they are usually so uncomfortale with the fact that they really don't say anything and try to vacate the premises as soon as humanly possible. What it comes down to is Normalicy, if you act normal and calm people will pick up on that and dismiss whatever would be out of the norm often providing their own excuse. Video game characters are the same how much do they often tell you about the main character, not much they leave most of this to you and the situations that arise during the course of the game. Same thing really.

Anyhoo. Thanks a bunch HPD it was an interesting read.

[mountainboy]

A month ago I was in the family toilet at the airport and the lock did not work. I did not know this and I proceeded changing my diaper and the door swung open and a guy had a look of surprise and disappeared very quickly. When I exited the bathroom he was nowhere in sight. So the point is that people ( strangers) are not going to make an issue of you wearing diapers even if they see them.