Others And Me

[diaperdan1967]

Hi my name is diaperdan1967 I'm trying to break out of my shell alittle I'm married wife hates everthing about diapers I'm not saying I can't wear them but when I do she gets attatude. here is my dalima she said if I go online to diaper sites or try to meat people like that she will devorice me. we are married 19 yr. together 22 she found out 4 month into are dating sean so its not like she didn't no but I would like to meet others and talk to people. so do I do like my note book del. my history and sneak around. and you women please chime in to

[luvsdiapered]

Granted, I haven't been married,hopefully one day I will get that privilege, but in your situation, It seems a bit tricky, On one hand I sense that you love your wife and would do anything for her. I can see to an extent where she is coming from,as society has brainwashed us into thinking diapers are for babies and adults that have no control over their bodily functions, and granted that is the primary reason they were created for, however for those of us that just wuv are diapers, be it from the DL mindset or the AB mindset, we get a bad rap, and in your case, with a wife that hates anything to do with a diaper, may be from a bad experience with diapers, hating the idea of changing a diaper, as its bad enough for a gal to have to wear a pad during her cycle, or it could be she feels that your desire to meet other diaper lovers,adult babies out there be it online or otherwise as a sign of weakness, most gals want this ripped strong man that can pop a knot on a persons head and make whatever was bothering her go away, It would help to give a better answer if we had a history of her thoughts about you and diapers,, as simply saying she hates it with a passion is kind of vague, but what I said above is a generic list of some of the reasons a lot of gals that are into this scene have against other gals and guys whom are ab/dl's , That being said, If she knew during your dating life that you wore diapers and were interested in this lifestyle, then she could of easily said,until you meet a.b.c.d, I won't marry you, in this case she did, and if my assumptions are correct she likely had the mentality that she could change you as a person, when in reality the only way a spouse or gf/bf will change you is if they are changing your diaper. I wish I could give you a cut dry answer, I would go with your heart, if you feel that to alleviate alot of the stress you have in this incident means wearing a diaper against her wishes and getting on sites such as this, I say within moderation, do so, However I have to question how much she truly loves you, if she is threatning divorce if you go online or attempt to meet others in this arena.

Now me personally if I was married in your situation,, I would sit down and make a compromise with my wife , providing my body hasn't adjusted to needing diapers 24/7, and would agree to curb the amount of days or hours that I wore a diaper with her knowledge, as long as she obliged me in indulging me to a day or two etc of DL or adult baby time with her again in moderation. I doubt your wife would go for that compromise, however that is how I would approach it personally if I were in your shoes and had a wife making that ultimatum to me.

[diaperdan1967]

Granted, I haven't been married,hopefully one day I will get that privilege, but in your situation, It seems a bit tricky, On one hand I sense that you love your wife and would do anything for her. I can see to an extent where she is coming from,as society has brainwashed us into thinking diapers are for babies and adults that have no control over their bodily functions, and granted that is the primary reason they were created for, however for those of us that just wuv are diapers, be it from the DL mindset or the AB mindset, we get a bad rap, and in your case, with a wife that hates anything to do with a diaper, may be from a bad experience with diapers, hating the idea of changing a diaper, as its bad enough for a gal to have to wear a pad during her cycle, or it could be she feels that your desire to meet other diaper lovers,adult babies out there be it online or otherwise as a sign of weakness, most gals want this ripped strong man that can pop a knot on a persons head and make whatever was bothering her go away, It would help to give a better answer if we had a history of her thoughts about you and diapers,, as simply saying she hates it with a passion is kind of vague, but what I said above is a generic list of some of the reasons a lot of gals that are into this scene have against other gals and guys whom are ab/dl's , That being said, If she knew during your dating life that you wore diapers and were interested in this lifestyle, then she could of easily said,until you meet a.b.c.d, I won't marry you, in this case she did, and if my assumptions are correct she likely had the mentality that she could change you as a person, when in reality the only way a spouse or gf/bf will change you is if they are changing your diaper. I wish I could give you a cut dry answer, I would go with your heart, if you feel that to alleviate alot of the stress you have in this incident means wearing a diaper against her wishes and getting on sites such as this, I say within moderation, do so, However I have to question how much she truly loves you, if she is threatning divorce if you go online or attempt to meet others in this arena.

Now me personally if I was married in your situation,, I would sit down and make a compromise with my wife , providing my body hasn't adjusted to needing diapers 24/7, and would agree to curb the amount of days or hours that I wore a diaper with her knowledge, as long as she obliged me in indulging me to a day or two etc of DL or adult baby time with her again in moderation. I doubt your wife would go for that compromise, however that is how I would approach it personally if I were in your shoes and had a wife making that ultimatum to me.

[diaperdan1967]

Hi luvsdiapered thanks for replying you are right she did think she could change me but diapers are a apart of me I try to change my self earlier in life I try to give them up it just didn't work the want and need was always there if I said I'd stop I would be lien to her and my self

[enfant]

you are right she did think she could change me

http://www.cartoonstock.com/cartoonview.asp?catref=dre0120

[Bettypooh]

I'm afraid that you've put yourself in a situation where you have 3 choices, all of which may be bad One, work this out with the wife and stay within the agreed boundaries- otherwise you may lose her :crybaby:Two, hide it well and hope she doesn't find it- if she does you may lose her Three, make it clear what you're going to do and that you can't stop yourself from doing it- and if she doesn't want to let you then you may lose her

This is why it's always better to get this kind of thing done and over with early in a relationship If you know you're not going to give up diapers you only make the pain deeper for both of you by trying to hide it and getting caught later on:huh: And considering that your spouse likely knows you better than anyone else does, getting caught is very, very likely

All anyone can do for you now is wish you luck- and I do

Bettypooh

[aleyxsis]

I was in the same position with my x wife she hated the diapers !! .After many years of trying to make it work it just did't.I hope you can work something out, a compromise of some sort good luck!!

[aleyxsis]

I'm afraid that you've put yourself in a situation where you have 3 choices, all of which may be bad One, work this out with the wife and stay within the agreed boundaries- otherwise you may lose her :crybaby:Two, hide it well and hope she doesn't find it- if she does you may lose her Three, make it clear what you're going to do and that you can't stop yourself from doing it- and if she doesn't want to let you then you may lose her

This is why it's always better to get this kind of thing done and over with early in a relationship If you know you're not going to give up diapers you only make the pain deeper for both of you by trying to hide it and getting caught later on:huh: And considering that your spouse likely knows you better than anyone else does, getting caught is very, very likely

All anyone can do for you now is wish you luck- and I do

Bettypooh

Ditto: Bettypooh it sounds like my relation excactly with my x wife !.I hope it does not happen to you diaperdan goodluck !!

[enfant]

If the story you've told is accurate and complete (and obviously we haven't heard her side of it), I have to say, if I were in your shoes I'd think about leaving. Wanting to visit websites and meet people who have the same interest as you do is perfectly natural and reasonable. Threatening to divorce you over it--with, I presume, a concomitant threat to tell everyone about your fetish--isn't. It's emotional blackmail, with shades of actual blackmail. You don't have to tolerate that.

But her side of the story may be different from yours. I'd suggest that you look up the kink-aware professionals database at ncsfreedom.org, find a therapist in your area, and take her to couples counseling. Maybe you'll both understand each other better, and be able to reach a satisfactory agreement.

[M 90]

I didn't take the time to read all the posts so it might have been mentioned already but my suggestion is seek counseling. Sure you may be being a little selfish with sneaking around on the boards here and trying to connect with the only people in the world that you can relate to. But she is being selfish in not letting you be who you are. This is just the beginning... you 2 took an oath by getting married and it would be a shame that a 19 year marriage fell apart do to the constant misunderstandings going on between you two and this infantilism.

I suggest having a serious talk with your wife about seeing a counselor to help sort this stuff out and to truly understand where the both of you are coming from. I also suggest to not just go to any marriage therapist/counselor but to seek out some that specialize in the particular field of where the both you believe the true source of the problems lie. Like is infantilism a result of childhood trauma? Then you might need to see a counselor that is familiar with that. Is the infantilism sexual? Well you might need to find a counselor who is familiar with that department.

I lost a marriage and a big part of my side of the street of why it ended was because of how ingorant and selfish I was with my infantilism. Also with how unable I was to communicate to my wife about it. If these last 2 sentences don't make any sense to you then its all the more reason you need to get a professional wrapped up in this!

Take it from me cause you are not going to get this suggestion from many on these boards. If I was doing the intense therapy I have been doing the past 6 months during my marriage things might have turned out very differently and I might just still be married.

That's my 2 cents, take it or leave it.

[diaperdan1967]

hi guys diaperdan here thanks for your replies.I have to say it nice to see I'm not the only one that has gone threw this,therapy sounds like the way to go but I'm not sure if we should try marriage counseling or therapy just for me. the way my wife talks I just need it not her but it would be nice if she would talk to a therapist with me about diapers,toys,sex,all of it. in are relationship not just these 3 things are the problem.I put up with a lot of stuff from her just because I like to wear diapers.

[M 90]

hi guys diaperdan here thanks for your replies.I have to say it nice to see I'm not the only one that has gone threw this,therapy sounds like the way to go but I'm not sure if we should try marriage counseling or therapy just for me. the way my wife talks I just need it not her but it would be nice if she would talk to a therapist with me about diapers,toys,sex,all of it. in are relationship not just these 3 things are the problem.I put up with a lot of stuff from her just because I like to wear diapers.

Actually going to see a therapist by yourself might just be the right way to go. I guess I really attached my experience/form of infantilism to my suggestions. Meaning that sure we all here have infantilism but it really effects all of us in many different ways. The more you explore and communicate with folks on these boards you will understand what I mean.

So saying that, if you were to go to see a therapist by yourself you could get the start on it and over some time working with the therapist you would know for sure whether your wife should even get involved or not. So its actually a win/win because either you work on yourself a bit and find out you don't need your wife to be apart of it or you work on yourself a bit and find out for sure if she needs to be apart of the therapy. If your wife ends up needing to be apart of it then you will have had plenty of time to know for sure what to tell her or what to work on with her in a therapy session. Plus by this time the therapist will be very familiar with your situation and will be totally prepared for the couples session and there really is no better way for your wife to feel as comfortable as she can discussing the infantilism then with a professional in the room.

My history with therapy over my infantilism is very long. You may not be able to relate to any of it but I will type it out just for the sake that it might be of value to you in some way. I will try to make this as brief as possible, my brand of infantilism is of the sexual variety. My greatest sexual fantasy is just being diapered by a "mommy" and treated as a baby and then eventually "sexually relieved" and that's about it. So I first started off with a sex therapist that was like our worst nightmare, the bitch was gung ho on proving to me that I was a sex addict and that my infantilism needed to be abolished. Yeah bad experience. This is the reason why I mentioned in my last post that you should do a little homework before making a decision on a therapist and not just jump right into it like I did. But the good thing about it was was that it was my foot in the door and I found out that the theraputic views in the sexual department is pretty much a spectrum. I just happen to start off with the "conservative" position so to speak. I then start working with another therapist who wasn't a licensed sex therapist but she was very familiar with the field and this was the therapist I worked with on and off for like 3 years. I could type a novel about the experience but I will just say through lots of work on myself and my infantilism, especially over the past 6 months since me and my wife split, we totally dissected my infantilism and I mean dissected the hell out of it. And then a couple of months ago we came to a real stand still in my therapy and she decided that I should try out another therapist. So she reffered me to a licensed sex therapist who is actually a kink/fetish friendly sex therapist. And my therapy right now consists of me truly accepting my infantilism by continuosly working on all the issues that I have discovered that are tied in to the shame aspect I have lived with my whole life over my infantilism. As well as working on the sexual insecurities I have always had with women not only because of my form of infantilism but because of... well we will just say because of a whole shit ton of other stuff I have discovered over the years in therapy. So I guess you could say that now I am exploring the "liberal" side of the sex therapy spectrum. And so far this seems to be the right way to go for me.

But my point to all of this is that I could not have possibly gotten to where I am at with my infantilism without the therapy and all that has been revealed and discovered about myself as a result.

I will also add that my wife who was very unaccepting about my infantilism did attend a few therapy sessions towards the beginning of all of this but unless one of us was willing to budge on our stance, me wanting to keep my infantilism and have her be apart of it and her stance was not having anything to do with it and I could only partake in it when she was not around, nothing much could get accomplished in a couples therapy but that's just my experience and it doesn't mean that it would work out that way for you.

So I guess I write all of this because I know the god awful torture of living with infantilism while not understanding it within myself or having any sort of control over it and how that combo can be like a tornado through a relationship with a loved one. So if you happen to be feeling this way I hope this info helps you because you getting any sort of relief or answers out of just one sentence I have typed makes it totally worth the hour it took to type this.

So good luck man and personal message me if you happen to have any more questions about the therapy side of things.