Which Diaper Is 'Best' To 'Come-Out' With Girlfriend?

[PhilDL]

Okay I need help,

I met this lady that lives the next state over. I'm guessing in the next few weeks I'll be invited over. Besides doing what every romantic couple does I'm sure because of the distance I'll be invited to sleep over. So since I trained myself to be diaper dependent at night I can't just stop wearing diapers to bed, I certainly don't want to gamble and wet her bed!

So since it is true that I need diapers at night for bed-wetting I'm figuring when she offers to let me sleep over in her bed I'll say "I would love to stay the night with you but I have to tell you something that is embarrassing and if it's uncomfortable for you I'll understand. I have an issue at night and in the morning so I need to wear adult diapers at night. I keep the diaper on till after I brush my teeth and shave since it takes a little time to get my full control back."

Now if she's okay with this I'm wondering what the best diaper to wear would be, I mean since I want this approached as medical and not a fetish I wouldn't wear a printed Bambino. I wear a Tranquility ATN with a Huggies stuffer to bed {this is my night time standard}. Now obviously the Huggies will raise flags. Do you thing she'll believe it when I say that the baby diaper is more absorbent than the adult and I use it as the insert? Or should I wear a Abena Abri Form-X. The Abena is larger and more full cut and certainly looks like 'big Dewey duck' in a diaper'!

Besides this I'll have to explain the pad in my underwear for excessive dripping after urinating. One thing for sure I'll explain I'll jump in the shower before we get intimate.

I know if a relationship is going to work, honesty must prevail but since I'm diaper dependent at the beginning of the relationship I still need my diapers. So I think this method would be best. I certainly don't want to give up diapers and even if I wanted too, I know from experience it takes some time to become retrained. As a kid I wet the bed a handful of times, the last was around age 8. When I diaper trained myself about 14 years ago after 2 years I stopped. I still wore a pad and used a bed protector since I continued to have accidents once in awhile. I've been back to diapers every night now for 5 years.

Any thoughts? I certainly would like to hear from ladies. If you could free yourself from the fact you love diapers too, as a lady what do you think would be the best approach to introducing adult diaper wearing to a woman?

Phil

[Bettypooh]

If you're going to use the "need them" concept to explain your diaper wearing, I'd start by avoiding anything babyish until you see how it goes with her If it turns out bad, you're just seen as an incontinent adult who has medical problems which are not your fault That's not as hard to handle as becoming known as an ABDL If it turns out good, then you can move toward more babyish things slowly- and if that works out I'm very happy for you Keep us informed!

Bettypooh

[Repaid1]

It is my opinion that this should be discussed PRIOR to you visiting. Perhaps you should just say if the trip is being planned that if she knows any motels close by. If she says she you will be staying with her, then take that opportunity to tell her of your Enuresis (use medical terms, seems more believable).

I think it's only fair that she's on board with at least diaper wearing before you put her in a awkward situation in her own home, well that's my thought on the thing anyway for what it's worth.

[PhilDL]

Good tip, I'll use medical terms!

She is in another state but it's only 1 hour away. I would wait till she says to stay over. When we meet for the first time it's not just going to be to go over to her house and sleep over. We'll do the typical, movie & dinner. So when we have relations it doesn't necessary mean to sleep over. Most likely she'll tell me about sleeping over the next time I come up. So then at that time I'll tell her about diapers.

So which diaper? Of course the Huggies as a stuffer would have to be replaced with a Depend Boost pad if I wear Tranquility.

Phil

[sarah_ab]

because a relationship based on lies is always a good solid relationship.

Sure you need the diapers, but what about when she finds out you only need them because of something you made happen?

what about when she finds out, say from talking with friends and family maybe months down the road they have no idea you have to wear diapers, no he doesn't have any problem like that..

i can't tell you what to say, just that maybe this should have been thought about before you decided you had to be dependent on diapers.

[Opie]

I'm kinda siding with Sarah on this one. Lies can get really complicated really fast. What if she starts asking questions about enuresis? What about treatment options? What if, 10 years down the road there is a treatment option and she presents it to you? Your family? Etc. etc. etc. You get the point.

Although, if that's not a route you are comfortable with, Repaid's ideas are about as good as it could get in my opinion if you are going to stay the medical route.

Feel it out and play the game and hope you don't get a "foul".

[Repaid1]

because a relationship based on lies is always a good solid relationship.

Sure you need the diapers, but what about when she finds out you only need them because of something you made happen?

what about when she finds out, say from talking with friends and family maybe months down the road they have no idea you have to wear diapers, no he doesn't have any problem like that..

i can't tell you what to say, just that maybe this should have been thought about before you decided you had to be dependent on diapers.

This post brought to you by the sponsors of Sarah_ab and the letters q, f, j, l and the number 67

(Q)uest, (F)or, (J)ust, (L)ies and 2 short of 69? I understand! Any relationship started with untruths (Lies) is doomed. She deserves the truth NOW! Your old enough to know better, but I ain't your Daddy..But I did have 20+ women who changed my diaper. Because I told them before I got where your going. I hope for the best for you both, but it doesn't seem your headed there. I am not damning the thing. But Logic should prevail.

[sarah_ab]

hahah someone else suggested it stood for Quietly Follow Jesus's Love.

[hidden]

Hour away = 40-50 miles?

I drive 84 miles a day (2 hours) to go to college 5 days a week. Only being an hour away does not automatically equal sleep over.

As for your stuffer, unless she is going to watch you put it on or she puts it on you herself, she will not know it is there.

For the reason for becomming dependent, do not lie to her but if she doesn't ask, best not to tell her until you are ready to come clean about being abdl. Sure, you chose this, but that doesn't change the fact you are dependent on them now, which is not a lie.

[curiositykilledthecat]

I want to be nice however this whole scenario has "FAIL" written all over it. since you are asking a question though, I'll give this a shot: Use the plain diaper if you are going to lie to her and say it's a need.

[PhilDL]

She's about 75-80 miles away.

I understand the truth is best but if I hit her with being a DL upfront, that's a lot for her. AB/DL's in the fetish world are typically rejected by other fetishists. I'm thinking this is a way to test the waters. Not only by what she says but if she says it's okay and seems freaked out then I know it won't work. But if she goes so far as to commenting I look good in a diaper or wants to change me I could say more.

As far as her asking anyone else in my life, that's not an issue. As an adult why would I tell parents, siblings or friends? Would a woman tell her brother she has a yeast infection?

I certainly don't have regrets becoming diaper dependent. Wearing diapers and needing them are sometimes the only pleasure in my day! My diaper fetish started at the early age of 3, this is who I am. Looking back it's only seems natural to make my love of diapers a lifestyle. Sure a relationship is more important and productive than diapers but I guess I need both.

Phil

because a relationship based on lies is always a good solid relationship.

Sure you need the diapers, but what about when she finds out you only need them because of something you made happen?

what about when she finds out, say from talking with friends and family maybe months down the road they have no idea you have to wear diapers, no he doesn't have any problem like that..

i can't tell you what to say, just that maybe this should have been thought about before you decided you had to be dependent on diapers.

[AutieAB]

Above all else, be honest. Get caught in a lie or a half-truth about something like this, early in a relationship and you're gonna be in real trouble.

I don't mean that you have to fess up everything right off the bat but make sure you do spill everything soon-ish and that everything you do say is entirely honest.

"I wear diapers at night" = simple, honest conversation starter with no embellishments that could be seen as a lie later on. At that point, she's probably going to assume medical need and be sympathetic, "how awful for you," etc. When she doesn't run for the hills, that's your cue to start giving a little more info, including that you don't hate it. Where you go from there depends entirely on her reactions but just don't lie & softly softly.

I agree with Repaid, this is a conversation that needs to happen before you go. It's going to affect the evening one way or the other & I don't think it's fair to spring it on her at bedtime. Talk out whether you're going to stay over or not before hand so there's no confusion/embarrassment in that area either and work it in once you know she wants you to stay.

[sarah_ab]

As far as her asking anyone else in my life, that's not an issue. As an adult why would I tell parents, siblings or friends? Would a woman tell her brother she has a yeast infection?

what i was saying is, say this relationship goes well with u telling her u have to wear them, then 3-6 months later you take her to meet your parents, and other family, she gets along quite well with them and while say she and your mother or sister or brother etc.. are cleaning up in the kitchen she says "has he always had bladder problems" and BOOM now your entire family knows you wear diapers, and they will hound you with questions as to why you never told them you had a 'bladder problem'.... just saying, these things DO happen, and often... I talk to my boyfriends parents, i've asked them things about him.. etc...etc....etc...

if you and her have already talked about fetish's... whats to stop you from mentioning one more? if she is THE one,... she wont care that you wear diapers... dont wait to long to tell her that your dependency comes from you making yourself that way because you enjoy it... otherwise you are going to be spending countless hours coming up with reasons why you dont want to see a urologist, why you dont want to try the newest treatment, why you dont know why you are urinary incontinent.

[PhilDL]

When I would bring up needing diapers I certainly would mention that nobody else knows!

I like AutieAB approach, I think I would say "I wear diapers at night and no one but you knows, and to be honest with you I don't mind wearing them"

Phil

what i was saying is, say this relationship goes well with u telling her u have to wear them, then 3-6 months later you take her to meet your parents, and other family, she gets along quite well with them and while say she and your mother or sister or brother etc.. are cleaning up in the kitchen she says "has he always had bladder problems" and BOOM now your entire family knows you wear diapers, and they will hound you with questions as to why you never told them you had a 'bladder problem'.... just saying, these things DO happen, and often... I talk to my boyfriends parents, i've asked them things about him.. etc...etc....etc...

if you and her have already talked about fetish's... whats to stop you from mentioning one more? if she is THE one,... she wont care that you wear diapers... dont wait to long to tell her that your dependency comes from you making yourself that way because you enjoy it... otherwise you are going to be spending countless hours coming up with reasons why you dont want to see a urologist, why you dont want to try the newest treatment, why you dont know why you are urinary incontinent.