A Test To See If Wife Is Acting

[johnbunkerDL]

The last few days I have had dreams about diapers and I told my wife about this but she seems to not have any interest in this anymore (as if she did before, I think she has just been acting). For years I spent asking myself why I am into something most find awkward or strange, doing research on the internet (that is how I found DD) only to find there are lots of people out there like me. It took me years to come to accept this aspect of myself and to stop fighting it, and so I refuse to just stop, but it is so hard having a spouse that would rather I "give it up". So I came up with an idea to see what my wife's reaction would be (a test) if I were to get rid of our diaper stash (we currently have 3 brands) maybe hide them somewhere and sort of let on that I am moving on and don't want diapers anymore, just to see what she says, if I get a relieved response or a "why did you do that" response. What do y'all think, should I try this? I feel ashamed when I wear a diaper under my jeans around her or in bed, she gets distant with me. I wish I could find someone into this like me.

[sarah_ab]

I think this is sorta a lame way to find out what your wife is thinking...

HOw about just asking her straight up. Say i have gotten the feeling recently that you do not want me to wear diapers any more. I want us to be able to talk about this. Is it bothering you?

you know that whole communication thing? it really does work.

[FretaBWet]

I think she is already communicating pretty well with you right now.

I feel ashamed when I wear a diaper under my jeans around her or in bed, she gets distant with me.

If she's distant when you wear and not when you don't wear she's just using non verbal communication. Playing this game will probably just make matters worse. Maybe you should respect her enough to just sit down and talk with her.

Hugs,

Freta

[johnbunkerDL]

I think this is sorta a lame way to find out what your wife is thinking...

HOw about just asking her straight up. Say i have gotten the feeling recently that you do not want me to wear diapers any more. I want us to be able to talk about this. Is it bothering you?

you know that whole communication thing? it really does work.

I have tried talking to her about this before. She's real good about it for a week or 2 wearing one when we have four-play, and just out-of-blue comming up to me saying, "I need my diaper changed" after we have talked about it, but then it fades again and she just doesn't seem interested, that's why I think she's just acting, she thinks she'll just play it for a week or so and then stop again. We have been married 8 years and it's an on-going cycle, I just need to break that cycle and find out once and for all if she could really care less for this.

[diaperedgod]

When I first told my wife (before we were married of course) she thought it was really weird. However, before I even asked her she agreed to do it with me. She seemed to have a lot of fun at first, we'd wet and change each other and even make love in diapers. After about 6 months or so she suddenly didn't want to do it anymore. I didn't really ask why, I just assumed that she was in to it because it was new and exciting. When it stopped being exciting, she lost interest. We've been together 8 years now and I still wear diapers. She no longer does but will occasionally agree to change me. She doesn't understand why I like to wear diapers (and really, how can I expect her to when I don't understand it myself), but she accepts it and doesn't judge me. She understands that it's an important part of my life. I don't know if you told your wife before or after you got married, personally I don't think it's very fair to do it after. I waited until we were at a point in our relationship where we knew we loved each other, but before I asked her to marry me. She had the option to walk away at that point. It sounds like your wife is just doing it occasionally to please you. Be happy with that and don't force the issue or try and push it on her too hard. If it's always in her face she'd be more likely to resist.

[giventofly]

I have tried talking to her about this before. She's real good about it for a week or 2 wearing one when we have four-play, and just out-of-blue comming up to me saying, "I need my diaper changed" after we have talked about it, but then it fades again and she just doesn't seem interested, that's why I think she's just acting, she thinks she'll just play it for a week or so and then stop again. We have been married 8 years and it's an on-going cycle, I just need to break that cycle and find out once and for all if she could really care less for this.

I think your plan would probably be a bad idea. Would it be such a bad thing if she was just doing all this to make you happy, after all, marriage IS all about compromise right? I think you would be better off to just ask her. It's not so obscure in my relationship. My wife doesn't like it, she tolerates it on rare occasions, but I know that it is something that REALLY turns her off. I was able to talk her into wearing a couple times, but I don't bother with that anymore, it's not worth the trouble and she hates it. If she is pretending to like it for you, I think you have a loving wife that is trying to make you happy. Why else would somebody do that?

[sarah_ab]

ok from what you've said you consider communication, you telling her you want to wear diapres and want her to wear diapers.

thats not what i'm talking i'm saying ASK HER WHAT SHE IS FEELING!

not what you want, not if she needs a diaper change.. but say straight up Are you just wearing diapers because i want you to? or do you actually enjoy them sometimes?

true actual communication where you ask her what she wants, what she is feeling.

it could just be, she's not that into it all the time, she doesn't mind engaging in it now and then, but not to the extent that you want to engage in it.

we all have things we enjoy, but not all the time, things we like to do once in a while, but thats all....

ask her about her feelings.. and then listen to her feelings. and then respect what she wants. Maybe you just need to back off the diaper thing for a while in regards to her participation.

[Opie]

Let's say you do go through your test. Let's say she is relieved that you are moving on. What then? Do you actually give up diapers, fight your inner desires for the rest of your life? Or do you wear them behind her back, trying desperately to keep them a secret? Secrets don't stay secrets long in a marriage. Just a couple possibilities to consider.

I recommend the open communication option. Straight up, we gotta talk and explain your side of the deal, and why you seem confused about it. Take it from there. Not easy to do if you're not used to it.

[hidden]

I have tried talking to her about this before. She's real good about it for a week or 2 wearing one when we have four-play, and just out-of-blue comming up to me saying, "I need my diaper changed" after we have talked about it, but then it fades again and she just doesn't seem interested, that's why I think she's just acting, she thinks she'll just play it for a week or so and then stop again. We have been married 8 years and it's an on-going cycle, I just need to break that cycle and find out once and for all if she could really care less for this.

could be part of a binge/purge cycle. best to ask her evetually about it though.

[johnbunkerDL]

We went walking last night and she came right out and said that she feels like I haven't been acknowledging her lately and I told her I was bothered by feeling ashamed to wear diapers in front of her and that was causing me to feel resentment. I told her about my love for diapers before we were married and she was interested in them then and we spent a lot of time making out while she would wear one and she would speak of how great it will be when we are married and have our own place, both of us being into diapers and so now I am feeling some what deceived. She told me she feels a little weird about me wearing but understands my actions of doing so because we were both melested when we were kids. She said she does not want me to give it up because she wants me to be happy, I couldn't have asked for a better answer then that, so I am going to wear tonight around the house and see how it goes.

[sarah_ab]

maybe now that she shared her feelings with you, you could do something in return, like wear a little more discretely, or a little less often around her.. let her know you have heard what she said, and wantto make her as comfortable as possible, but *gasp* giving them up for a little bit.... you know... making the sacrifice she clearly made for you.

this may sound harsh, but from what you've said here, and thts all i have to go on, everything you do is centered around being able to wear diapers around your wife and getting your wife to wear diapres. Even when you 'communicate' with her, its so you can wear diapers around her.

Honestly, thats completely one sided and selfish and no wonder she was feeling ignored by you. YOU ARE IGNORING HER. everything you do with her, every interaction, diapers are still your main focus.

[Opie]

I have to agree with Sarah. But you have made an excellent first step, communicating with each other. So now, analyze what she said and do something for her that has no benefit to you. It would go a long way to keeping her happy and thereby, keeping you happy.

[Repaid1]

maybe now that she shared her feelings with you, you could do something in return, like wear a little more discretely, or a little less often around her.. let her know you have heard what she said, and wantto make her as comfortable as possible, but *gasp* giving them up for a little bit.... you know... making the sacrifice she clearly made for you.

this may sound harsh, but from what you've said here, and thts all i have to go on, everything you do is centered around being able to wear diapers around your wife and getting your wife to wear diapres. Even when you 'communicate' with her, its so you can wear diapers around her.

Honestly, thats completely one sided and selfish and no wonder she was feeling ignored by you. YOU ARE IGNORING HER. everything you do with her, every interaction, diapers are still your main focus.

Ditto X 3...Hey dude lay off the diapers for a bit. This lady gave you the truth. Show her you appreciate it. Show her you still think about her too. If you can't afford a night out...all the better. Cook her a meal (Takeout--your bowls..hide the boxes) and a candle light dinner with a few roses....Make her feel like the lady she really is. Trust me, If I couldn't have one like my wife...I'd take one like yours as a close second. Take what ya got and go with it!! We all can't be perfect..just strive to be!!

[dldad]

I concure with giving open communication a chance, and that means to be open from both ends, don't try to manipulate the end just to fit what you want to hear. Any good relationship is a matter of give and take. Open and honest communication is a key to happiness.

[BBoy]

I think she is already communicating pretty well with you right now.

I feel ashamed when I wear a diaper under my jeans around her or in bed, she gets distant with me.

If she's distant when you wear and not when you don't wear she's just using non verbal communication. Playing this game will probably just make matters worse. Maybe you should respect her enough to just sit down and talk with her.

Hugs,

Freta

I couldn't have said it better myself. OPEN COMMUNICATION!!!!

[johnbunkerDL]

this may sound harsh, but from what you've said here, and thts all i have to go on, everything you do is centered around being able to wear diapers around your wife and getting your wife to wear diapres. Even when you 'communicate' with her, its so you can wear diapers around her.

Honestly, thats completely one sided and selfish and no wonder she was feeling ignored by you. YOU ARE IGNORING HER. everything you do with her, every interaction, diapers are still your main focus.

Whoa, calm down Sarah. You have made a judgement based on one thing, diapers, and the only reason I mentioned diapers is because this is a ab/dl website. There are many other aspects to our marriage and diapers are only a small role as it's something that only goes on once every 2 weeks in our home. My wife told me that she does not want me to give up wearing diapers so I don't have to spend the rest of my life fighting the urge and therefore being miserable. When she told me that, I told her I could not ask for more and that was the end of the conversation on that aspect of our marriage, that is a compromise and compromising is ANYTHING but selfishness. Yes I have ignored her because I felt some resentment but we have "communicated" what has been bothering us and fixed the problem, no marriage is perfect, and it's amazing how you can fix something just by talking about it.

To set the record straight, I only wear once every 2 weeks or sometimes even less and when I do it's under my jeans with the sound hidden ( how much more discreet can you get) so to "lay off the diapers for awhile" would be like quitting completely.

To be selfish on this would be to tell her that her looking out for my happiness is not good enough and that she has to participate more or this marriage just isn't going to work, that is being selfish.

[sarah_ab]

as i said, all i had to go on was what you had told us here... and based on that it sounded like you were only talking with her to feel ok about wearing diapers. So i apologize that i responded to the information given, but thats all i had to respond to.

[Opie]

G.I.G.A.... Long time ago programming error. Garbage in, garbage out.

Gotta provide a good picture of the story. We can't see what's going on and we're only getting one side of the story. But I still think treat her special. You got something the majority of us would love to have. A wife who seems to care about your happiness and let's you wear.

[johnbunkerDL]

as i said, all i had to go on was what you had told us here... and based on that it sounded like you were only talking with her to feel ok about wearing diapers. So i apologize that i responded to the information given, but thats all i had to respond to.

No worries

[leroy t fudpucker]

When I first told my wife (before we were married of course) she thought it was really weird. However, before I even asked her she agreed to do it with me. She seemed to have a lot of fun at first, we'd wet and change each other and even make love in diapers. After about 6 months or so she suddenly didn't want to do it anymore. I didn't really ask why, I just assumed that she was in to it because it was new and exciting. When it stopped being exciting, she lost interest. We've been together 8 years now and I still wear diapers. She no longer does but will occasionally agree to change me. She doesn't understand why I like to wear diapers (and really, how can I expect her to when I don't understand it myself), but she accepts it and doesn't judge me. She understands that it's an important part of my life. I don't know if you told your wife before or after you got married, personally I don't think it's very fair to do it after. I waited until we were at a point in our relationship where we knew we loved each other, but before I asked her to marry me. She had the option to walk away at that point. It sounds like your wife is just doing it occasionally to please you. Be happy with that and don't force the issue or try and push it on her too hard. If it's always in her face she'd be more likely to resist.

You know your right it shows lack of respect to not be honest with your better half.

And trust me I know I waited almost twenty years before I told my wife. And I regret

not telling her but I was afraid I would lose her and I underestimated her. I realized I was very irresponsible of me to not talk to her about my diaper fetish before we

were married not that I didn't try but I honestly thought I would outgrow wearing

diapers WRONG . The longer I didn't wear them the more I wanted to be in diapers.

I've heard if you can go without wearing diapers a year you're cured.WRONG

At least for me anyway. The point is be HONEST and tell her how you feal and ask

her what she really feals about you in diapers.