Date Likes Me Being A Baby, But Hates The Paraphernilia:(

[Necare]

Ok,here is the thing: A few months ago I met this girl through work, we hit it off, and we have now been dating for a while. After a little while I began dropping her a few subtle hints about my infantilism, like " It feels good when you decide things", "Can I curl up beside you?" etc. Eventually I mustered up the courage to say that it gives me a good feeling to be a baby, and though not being freaked out, she said that she had to process that bit of information for a while, finding it a tad bit strange. Anyway, at the current point she has actually gone beyond acceptance, and to my surprise, likes to treat me as her baby. Great, right? Well, in one way it`s fantastic to actually have met the proverbial needle in the haystack, in another way, not that great.

Let me give you an example: This girl is a non-smoker, and on several occasions she has complained about my smoking, she wished I would would smoke less etc. The other day I sent her a text, saying jokingly that I knew the perfect remedy for my smoking. To prevent me smoking so much, she could just pop a paci in my mouth, and all would be well, he, he. She replied back that she would go to the store and buy me a paci. For a few days I was excited, thinking that she would actually do this. Until she told me that she thought I had been making a joke, and she had responded in a like manner. I told her that I had been serious, and that a paci really would give me that babyish feeling. Her response then was that I don`t need a pacifier since I was a grown-up. She then proceeded to tell me that in Vietnam there really was not a tradition for mothers giving their babies pacifiers, as they believe that this will just cause a lot of bloated stomachs etc.

Thinking maybe that her vehement stance against pacis was just a first time reaction, I have tried to approach the subject a few times since then, but to no avail, she get`s crossed with me each time I mention it. I have asked her if any other baby-paraphernalia would be ok with her; like bibs, rompers, diapers, but no, she really doesn`t like any of that either, and refuses to discuss it at all. The only thing she would be willing to let me have, is a teddy-bear, since she likes them herself. Too bad I could not care less about teddies, in my infantilist-sphere, they could not be less essential.

So, what`s going on here exactly? I`m getting the feeling that she likes to boss around, and in that respect it`s quite suiting for her that I have confessed to her my guilty little secret of wanting to be a baby, but at the same time she doesn`t want any reminders about any of the things babies normally do, like sucking on pacis, wearing diapers etc. So yeah, I`m quite confused at this point, and frustrated because a total lack of baby-paraphernalia really doesn`t do it for me.

So, what do you folks think about this situation? I`m at a loss.......

[ultrapampers]

I hate to be pessimistic, but it really sounds like this isn't gonna work, unless you're able to give up all these things (and we all know that's virtually impossible--and not healthy, in my opinion). The only alternative is for you to hide them from her, and that's a shaky foundation for a relationship. The fact that she won't even discuss it means you've got pretty much no chance of convincing her to even tolerate you having these things. It's just bad new all around. Sorry. I wish you better luck next time.

[Bettypooh]

I'm too logical and realistic to be a decent AB If I were to have a "Mommy" running my life I know I'd have to accept what she wanted for me- like it or not- just like a real baby does If I got lucky and found someone who gave me most of what I want I would do OK but as you've found out it doesn't always work like that

I'd suggest some soul-searching if you want to contuinue your relationship with her. Decide what you must have and what you can do without- then when the mood is right for a discussion sit down with her and give her a chance to decide if she can handle it. Do that before she becomes any closer to you so that she's hurt less if she decides it can't work out. A friendly seperation is always better than a heated one And without honesty there's not much of a relationship- especially if that becomes evident later on when your partner discovers it. If you must have something, but she doesn't want it (and doesn't want you to go elsewhere to get it) then you can try to hide it- but you're risking everything if you fail

Life often pulls us in two different directions at the same time and only through really knowing what your own needs are can you count on making the best decisions. If you try to give up something that you really can't give up, you'll just ruin your own chance for happiness and that usually hurts someone else in the process It's a lot better to find your own path and hope that you'll find someone who wants to be there with you on your journey through life than it is to try to drag them along with you unwillingly. Sometimes that means giving up something you like a lot, maybe even love a lot, but nobody can do the impossible and it's senseless to try because you'll always lose that battle.

Bettypooh

[complicated]

So did I get this right, she's ok with you wearing diapers, but nothing else to do with the ab life?

[curiositykilledthecat]

Ok,here is the thing: A few months ago I met this girl through work, we hit it off, and we have now been dating for a while. After a little while I began dropping her a few subtle hints about my infantilism, like " It feels good when you decide things", "Can I curl up beside you?" etc. Eventually I mustered up the courage to say that it gives me a good feeling to be a baby, and though not being freaked out, she said that she had to process that bit of information for a while, finding it a tad bit strange. Anyway, at the current point she has actually gone beyond acceptance, and to my surprise, likes to treat me as her baby. Great, right? Well, in one way it`s fantastic to actually have met the proverbial needle in the haystack, in another way, not that great.

Let me give you an example: This girl is a non-smoker, and on several occasions she has complained about my smoking, she wished I would would smoke less etc. The other day I sent her a text, saying jokingly that I knew the perfect remedy for my smoking. To prevent me smoking so much, she could just pop a paci in my mouth, and all would be well, he, he. She replied back that she would go to the store and buy me a paci. For a few days I was excited, thinking that she would actually do this. Until she told me that she thought I had been making a joke, and she had responded in a like manner. I told her that I had been serious, and that a paci really would give me that babyish feeling. Her response then was that I don`t need a pacifier since I was a grown-up. She then proceeded to tell me that in Vietnam there really was not a tradition for mothers giving their babies pacifiers, as they believe that this will just cause a lot of bloated stomachs etc.

Thinking maybe that her vehement stance against pacis was just a first time reaction, I have tried to approach the subject a few times since then, but to no avail, she get`s crossed with me each time I mention it. I have asked her if any other baby-paraphernalia would be ok with her; like bibs, rompers, diapers, but no, she really doesn`t like any of that either, and refuses to discuss it at all. The only thing she would be willing to let me have, is a teddy-bear, since she likes them herself. Too bad I could not care less about teddies, in my infantilist-sphere, they could not be less essential.

So, what`s going on here exactly? I`m getting the feeling that she likes to boss around, and in that respect it`s quite suiting for her that I have confessed to her my guilty little secret of wanting to be a baby, but at the same time she doesn`t want any reminders about any of the things babies normally do, like sucking on pacis, wearing diapers etc. So yeah, I`m quite confused at this point, and frustrated because a total lack of baby-paraphernalia really doesn`t do it for me.

So, what do you folks think about this situation? I`m at a loss.......

Sounds like she's just a controlling b***. Save yourself the headache and either drop the ab stuff with her or just drop her.

[phogendpf]

Ya, it doesn't sound like it will work out. Dump her and find someone more accepting.

[complicated]

Ok maybe its just me. So shes not into the ab side, right? but you want her to be in charge, right? "Mommy" if you will. If you just want a mommy then get out. If you want to be controlled then stick with it. Shes willing to let you wear diapers? maybe for the humiliation. Maybe the rest will come. Who knows? I say if it feels right give it a shot for a few weeks, after that, if it dont feel right, say good bye, but in a respectfull way.

[jediaper]

So did I get this right, she's ok with you wearing diapers, but nothing else to do with the ab life?

Ok maybe its just me. So shes not into the ab side, right? but you want her to be in charge, right? "Mommy" if you will. If you just want a mommy then get out. If you want to be controlled then stick with it. Shes willing to let you wear diapers? maybe for the humiliation. Maybe the rest will come. Who knows? I say if it feels right give it a shot for a few weeks, after that, if it dont feel right, say good bye, but in a respectfull way.

No. He said the she would not let him wear diapers. The one and only thing she would allow is a teddy bear.

[Vic]

Sad tale really, I feel for you. Especially because she works where you do. If you're asking for advice (which you most clearly are), then I say end it as quickly and quietly as possible, and hope for the best as far as work goes. You are clearly incompatable with her, or she is with you, doesn't much matter which, you're heading for disaster, so change course now, before it's too late.

Sorry,

Vic

[Necare]

Thanks for the valuable advice folks, really appreciated! Yeah, I definitely see what you folks mean, probably not the greatest level of compatibility there. Besides this aspect; I sadly can`t think of one thing we have in common, be it general outlook on life, musical taste etc. Maybe it`s just a case of me being so damn tired of looking for that elusive "mommy", that against my better judgment I`ll pathetically cling to straws. Which of course is insane to do, I know. Loneliness can definitely cloud the mind, that`s for sure. I agree, things at this point don`t exactly look positive, and being an AB I definitely need at least a god damn paci!!! It seems to me that she is ignoring the things I like, and solely focusing on what she finds appealing. Not a charming trait at all. So yeah, maybe it would do me good to give thumbs down to this one, don`t know.......aaaarghhh!!

[diaprbayb]

It took 2 years of dating and 20 years of marage for my GF/Wife to go from knowing about, teasing about, and "inside jokes" without any Paraphernilia. to now she buys diapers, rhumba panties and anything else she wants to baby me up.

[d_drew12]

It took 2 years of dating and 20 years of marage for my GF/Wife to go from knowing about, teasing about, and "inside jokes" without any Paraphernilia. to now she buys diapers, rhumba panties and anything else she wants to baby me up.

I agree with you, it may take several years of knowing someone before they will perform these tasks for you. If you think you will find a perfect match and totally let this one go, you're crazy. At least for now she is at least okay with some of it, take it a day at a time and see where you wind up. If you think you'll find someone this century who will accept all of it right away you will probably wind up a very lonely man which I don't think you want either, you know, take baby steps(no pun intended).

For those who are calling this girl he's dating names and telling this dude to dump her because she's unaccepting, take a quick look in the mirror and see who's judgmental and unaccepting. Reverse the roll, how about you be accepting of her as a person huh, you flippin hyporcrites!!! Many of you will end up very lonely and never even get the chance for a relationship to build because you're so quick to put the ax down on it if it's not your dream right away. Geeez, give the girl a chance you guys! Not to mention, even if you do find a girl that will totally treat you like a baby and feed all your ab/dl needs, at the end of the day you still need to be compatible and be able to live with the person outside your fantasy in everyday life, share a mortgage someday, have a family, have a job, etc. you know, real life. So again, don't be so quick to squash a relationship because about 99% of your relationship, even if you're an ab/dl is going to revolve around everday adult life. The ab thing can work it's way into the relationship if everything else is good.

[Bettypooh]

I want to start with this because it's soooo right

....For those who are calling this girl he's dating names and telling this dude to dump her because she's unaccepting, take a quick look in the mirror and see who's judgmental and unaccepting. Reverse the role, how about you be accepting of her as a person huh, you flippin hyporcrites!!!....

It takes both people to make a relationship work and the moment you forget that it's going to be over

Thanks for the valuable advice folks, really appreciated! Yeah, I definitely see what you folks mean, probably not the greatest level of compatibility there. Besides this aspect; I sadly can`t think of one thing we have in common, be it general outlook on life, musical taste etc. Maybe it`s just a case of me being so damn tired of looking for that elusive "mommy", that against my better judgment I`ll pathetically cling to straws. Which of course is insane to do, I know. Loneliness can definitely cloud the mind, that`s for sure. I agree, things at this point don`t exactly look positive, and being an AB I definitely need at least a god damn paci!!! It seems to me that she is ignoring the things I like, and solely focusing on what she finds appealing. Not a charming trait at all. So yeah, maybe it would do me good to give thumbs down to this one, don`t know.......aaaarghhh!!

Based on this new info I'd say yeah, it's time to gracefully slip out of the room And don't feel bad about it- most people need sex and relationships- both of you got that much out of it I have to chastize you for breaking one of life's really good 'rules': No relationships with people you work with I carry the rule further and keep work as far away from friends and kinfolk as possible. Those kinds of things either work very well or very rotten- the first is very rare and you can figure out the rest It seems she's self-centered and if that's true then you're never going to get what you want with her

Keep trying and someday you will find someone who understands what it means to you to be able to express this If you're lucky they'll want to be a part of what makes you happy

I admire that you were smart enough to introduce the subject into the relationship while a seperation wouldn't yet be painful for her. I wish you didn't have to suffer but at least there can be a happy ending and at least you did get to share one of the things you love. Maybe the next time that will become sharing all of the things you love

Bettypooh

[Honu]

Dude,

BettyPooh is right. Don't date coworkers is like the eleventh commandment. Most guys are looking for: 1) a great sexual connection, 2) a partner for recreation, 3) someone who is visually attractive, 4) someone who has enough domestic skill to make the space they're in feel like home.

The negativity you are getting from so many is because the usual top two reasons for hooking up with a woman aren't happening. It sounds to me like diapers and AB are part of your sexuality, which is why you like her playing the top (Mommy, dom, pick a title). Like so many guys, you also want to top from the bottom. The way this usually works out is that good relationships (including friendships) have give and take. Over a long period of time, there could such good give and take that the other person is willing to give up their attitudes and put you in a diaper. That could take a long, long time.

I'm not judging her, but it seems to me that you are telling me that she doesn't do anything with you except go out on dates and the only thing she has discovered sexually is that she has a dominant personality. If she was your skiing buddy, helper for all your projects, knock dead beautiful and the whole enchilada, it might be worth building 20 years of trust. I think that she is probably perfect for someone that shares her views on roles in a relationship and has a truely submissive personality.

Usually, one of you two will have to find a different place to work. That's not another rule, just a good idea.

Good luck with this one,

Honu

[herbie]

Never shit where you get your bread.

[Necare]

Well, we both decided to call it quits a few days ago. Too many differences there; not worth the hazzle. I`m better off I guess, after all it`s only so much I can take of talk about knitting, embroidery and orchids, before my patience wear thin. And no amount of pacifiers could save me from drowning then, ha, ha. And, as it turned out, she didn`t even like me being an AB in the slightest, she said it just to humour me. Oh well, the depressing search continues I guess.