Frustrated And Concerned

[Dougie]

I'm not looking for attention or pity. I just need to vent my concerns to a non-judgmental crowd, and since I don't have that around home I hope this site will do. None of the other sites I have looked at seem to look for answers as much as this crowd does. Most of the other site just complain about the problem without any pursuit to get a resolution.

My concerns started yesterday morning. I woke around 7AM, wet like usual, so there is little concern there because I already know that is now with me for an indefinite amount of time. When I went to get out of bed I was having some severe muscle spasms in my lower back and throughout my pelvis. No biggie. I use the toilet most mornings, but I didn't have the urge to, so strait to the shower to get some extremely hot water to help loosen up the muscles and get them to relax. Not too much to be worried about yet. I got dressed and did what I could around the house. I had a doctor appointment later that afternoon, so grabbed something to drink and headed into town for the day

The complication:

Shortly before my appointment I realized that it had been more than seven hours since I needed to empty my bladder, but I didn't have the urge, and I didn't feel like my bladder was anywhere near full. When I got to the doctor's office I went to use the bathroom and I had to really strain to get anything to come out. I knew by now I should have needed to, but very little and way too much effort to make anything happen. I usually feel the urge every three to four hours. I normally would be ready to burst by five hours. I had my appointment and mentioned it to the PA I was being seen by. She put it down in here notes to send to my regular doctor, which I will see Monday morning.

I was at my appointment for just over an hour before I could leave. As I was leaving the doctor's office I could feel my lower back aching. I have had kidney stone before, and that's what it reminded me of. This however was in both kidneys. I went to the restroom and tried to pee. It again required a lot of straining just to start, than it all came out in a rush. It was a good thing I was able to go then. I would have been sitting it traffic for almost two hours after I left.

Tonight I still don't feel any need to go. Not a BM or pee. I can't tell when I need to go, I have been going to try every 3 or 4 hours, or when my kidneys hurt. When I do go it takes way more effort that it did a couple of days ago. Tonight I decided to drink a lot more water than I usually do to see how long it takes for the urge to hit me. I'm on my fourth 20of glass and a 20of Dr. Pepper. I have not been to the bathroom in over 6 hours now and my kidneys are beginning to ache again. My last BM was the night before my appointment.

I know I have three lumbar discs that are pushing against the root nerves. The BM issue may be the pain meds. The lack of urination is a new complication.

Could the herniated discs be causing this? I had one that caused Caudia Equina a few years ago that let to total lack of control, but not lack of the urge. I will be talking to my doctor about this anyway after this weekend.

Has anyone else experienced this kind of symptom, and if so what caused it?

[Dougie]

If it makes any difference the discs are L3-4, L4-5 and L5-S1. L4-5 is the worse and is pushing left/central on the root nerve and spinal cord, more to the left root nerve though according to the MRI.

[Bettypooh]

My back is ready to crumble. Of everything that I've been through in life (and it's a lot) this is the spookiest. Just one 'good' injury and I'm done for- they're giving me maybe 12 years max before I am disabled. Something is very wrong if you can't urinate. Left alone, uremic poisoning will kill you so get this looked into immediately. My own wierd bladder control does seem to worsen when my back gets overworked or injured, my main problems are L3 and L5. The usual issue for me is another episode of UI and/or SI but I have experienced hesitant urination with a back injury a couple times- this was when L3 first let go. I passed it off as having to do with the pain more than anything but I could still pee so I never thought anymore about this till now. Do go see a Doctor ASAP and let us know how you're doing!

Bettypooh

[Newroad]

I concur with Betty. IF your having to force urination you need to seek medical assistance as soon as possible. Even if you avoid urimic posining there is a great risk of causing damage to your bladder and kidneys.

[Dougie]

This morning was a little different. I did get the urge to go, right before I opened up like the Hoover Dam. I was very lucky I was still dressed for bed. I'm feeling more weakness today in my left leg than I have been having lately. That's got to be swelling from the discs.

I can't go to the ER until I get a friend to house sit for several days. If this is Caudia again I will be shipped to surgery pretty quickly and won't be able to come home for a few days. I can't do that until I have someone to take care of my dogs. I will have to wait until those arrangements are made first. The on-call nurse said to make sure I keep water flowing through myself and come in if it gets any worse.

[Dougie]

Well, I talked to the doc yesterday. He thinks the problem is related to my back. The doc is referring my to a Neurosurgery group. I see them tomorrow afternoon. That's good because the Bianco doesn't seem to handle flooding very well when it's already wet.

[Junibug 4 Lucy]

hope it gets sorted, and soon

hugs

juniper

xxx

[Bettypooh]

Well, I talked to the doc yesterday. He thinks the problem is related to my back. The doc is referring my to a Neurosurgery group. I see them tomorrow afternoon. That's good because the Bianco doesn't seem to handle flooding very well when it's already wet.

At this point I must ask you to do me a favor. Find a neighbor who will care for your dogs in an emergency till your friend(s) can step up to bat. Begin using the 'self-feeding' and 'self-watering' dishes which will hold a couple days worth of goodies. With your back as it is, one slip and fall can take you from home instantly, leaving your four-legged friends to suffer. If you can't trust a neighbor to do this then go spend some time with the people at your local Humane society or animal rescue group or local Vetrenarian's office till you find someone willing to be there in such an emergency. Believe me, somebody will do this for your dogs even if they don't much care for you. You can hide a key to your place somewhere today and explain that you will call and tell them where it is should you need their help. This should ease your mind as well as keep your 'best friends' in good health till they welcome you home if the worst should happen.

I have a neighbor who keeps an eye on my place and my furry four-legged friend/psychiatrist/therapist/play-partner in my yard, just as that neighbor does. We have a reciprocal agreement to care for the others dog in any unexpected absence. I asked that of her the second time we spoke and while we don't have much in common and aren't otherwise very 'friendly', we are neighbors and are neighborly and we won't stand to see an animal hurt if we can do something about it. People like us aren't hard to find and with medical issues like you and I have it's something to address now, before harm is done. Give back the love and care that your dogs give you- they really don't ask more than that from you and they depend on you to provide that for them like children do. As goofy as it may sound to some people, my dog is mentioned in my will- I have friends who I want her to go to should my demise come suddenly. They know this and have agreed to it and my dog will fare well no matter what happens to me- she's worth that.

Expecting you'll understand my request and wishing you the best outcome possible medically,

Bettypooh

[Dougie]

I fired my doctor this morning. The disabilty insurance denied the claim because "The doctor handling your case refuses to discuss disabilality details with our physician." I have an appointment with a doctor at a private clinic today. I have to start all over, but my chances will be better to move forward quickly. Hopefully that will help because this is taking a very heavy physical and emotional toll on me.

I have a friend I trust that has a key to my house. The dogs know them. My sister will take them should the worst happen. They will be cared for, at this point better than I.

[Dougie]

My appointment with the private doc went very well, despite that I was obviously in severe discomfort. My blood pressure was 160/114 when I got into the exam room. The MA took it three times to be sure. I usually have 120/80. The Doc agreed that I should be on disability if only because of the level of narcotics I am taking to manage pain. My boss also found the company rules that prohibit employees from working if they are on prescription narcotics of any level. My doctor is going to push the disability paperwork through as soon as she gets the rest of the paperwork from the VA. They called me back about an hour after I called to fire them.

I have a referral to a spine specialty clinic. Hopefully they will get me in sometime this week. It will be nice to see progress after being stonewalled for three months. What a waste of my life.

I have family that will be staying with me to help out later.

Now if I can get the income flowing again things would look much better.

Edited September 4, 2009 by Dougie

[Dougie]

I got to talk to an MA for a spine center today. I missed their call this afternoon for more info. It sounds like they are trying to get current MRI and x-ray for evaluation. I'll be calling them back first thing tomorrow.

I hope they are going to get me in soon. Things are getting very frustrating, but I have faith it will get better.

Sitting here thinking I just realized I haven't had the urge to urinate for over 12 hours. My kidneys are feeling it though. I'm going to try right now.

[dlsmd]

you might want to talk to your doctor about I.S.C. (Intermittent Self Catheterization)

i some times have to do this

[Bettypooh]

Thanks for keeping us updated Dougie- we're all pulling for you!

Bettypooh

[Dougie]

So far no good news. I just got back from getting my records from the VA, just to get the letter officially denying disability. Work won't let my report as long as I'm on prescription pain meds. I will loose that job (which pays well, when it pays) if I take another one. I have two weeks before my next appointment, and not enough to buy food to get there. I have now been running off of zero income for about two months, and nothing good on the way. I can no longer afford to put fuel in my truck and buy food. Which is okay, because without food I won't be around too long to worry about driving anyway.

Unless something really amazing happens soon, I have no reason to stick around. I'm living off of the money from things that I have sold to survive. I have nothing left to sell that I can do without later. I'm at a loss of what to do.

[babykeiff]

Dougie,

I just read this topic today, and caught up with your history.

I am glad that you fired that doctor. If you are not releasing / producing urine, your body can shut down within 24 hours, and that doctor should have known that, and not done nothing. For this, you can sue him/her for medical negligence.

On a more important point, are you on intermittent self caterisation. - with your urinary sphincters failing to open, it is very important to empty your bladder, otherwise, reverse pressure WILL damage your kidneys.

You should presently be under the direct care of a hospital until the pressure is removed from your spinal cord. The complications are too numerous to mention here, but suffice to say, this has to be done quickly - as in minutes/hours rather than days/weeks.

My best wishes goes with you.

[Dougie]

I will have no luck suing the VA doctor. I don't have enough to pay for my own medical with less than $200 in the bank since I haven't had a paycheck in two months, and I have just dumped a bunch of money into getting my house ready to sell. My medical insurance has been suspended as well as disability declined. I can't go back to work as long as I'm taking any pain meds, and sitting in a task chair for more than a few minutes is too painful to withstand without meds. I loose that position that is being held if I seek any other work. I really have no other option if work doesn't pull through but hope my life insurance is still good. My boss won't even return a call to me.

[Dougie]

Okay. I have been whining long enough. Today I woke up and decided I had enough guilt and disgust with myself to last a few years or more. I have sent my insurance over 100 pages of medical history that completely dashes the reasons they were telling me that they may not pay out. Since this is only my second claim with them in over 9 years (the first one was for two weeks over fours years ago) the money they'll need to pay me has been paid to them many times over. I called them to make sure everything was received properly, and it was. Now I need to give them time to review. I will hopefully get good news early next week.

Have a great weekend everyone.

[Dougie]

Got a call from my disability insurance today to tell me I was denied. No chance of getting it, so I had to take a withdraw from my 401K to survive.

I have one more week until my spine appointment, and I hope that goes better than the VA. I've been having bladder control issues intermittently during the days lately. My doc is aware, and is going to call me back tomorrow and talk about it. Things are going downhill with great enthusiasm and speed. My feet almost always feel like they are being burned by something very hot. The meds aren't doing any good for the pain anymore.

More and more I just feel like pulling the trigger and ending it. I made a promise to my mom that I wouldn't, so that's out of the question now. Hope is fading fast for a full recovery. I just don't know how much more I can take.

[babykeiff]

Dougie,

we are here for you always, for support and if you ever want to talk. I know that life seems difficult at the moment, but look at this - it can't get any worse, can it. As a result, it has to get better, so it is something to look forward to,

hu-cu-snu-ickles,

[dlsmd]

Dougie if i may pry what state are you in???

and also if depression is rearing its ugly head dont jest take it .... if you cant handle it an have no ware to turn GO TO THE A COUNTY HOSPITAL!!!!!!! and tell them whats got you down and this "More and more I just feel like pulling the trigger and ending it." thay cannot refuse you.

[Dougie]

I'm in Washington state. The local hospital is not an option. I have my dogs to take care of. They are my reason for getting up every morning. I do know that things will get better when I can get my life back. It's just a real rough road between the meds and the pain that never really lets up. I slept for 7 hours last night, drug induced, and it felt better this morning. I still felt physically tired, but mentally rested. I love doing things outside, like riding motorcycle and hiking with my dogs. I haven't been able to do anything I like for almost a year. I feel like I have wasted the last 11 months of my life doing almost nothing of value to me or anyone else.

I sent off my appeal paperwork yesterday. After letting the doc know I felt like everyone was leaving me out to dry she said she changed her tone. Anti-inflammatory and bed rest hasn't helped any. My doc said that my symptoms are more L5-S1 related by the areas I have been having most of the pain. I know the discs that are herniated are L4-S1, so maybe I have improvement in one disc, but worse in the others.

I will be meeting with the spine docs next week. I will be letting them know that I have already tried all of the less invasive approaches, and I want my life back now! I don't care what course they take, but it better be toward recovery. I am tired of being in limbo with no plan to begin recovery. Being in stuck in diapers all day is not my idea of a plan, but the meds make me tired and if I fall a sleep I risk waking up wet. No offense to anyone that wants to be that way, but it's better that than ruining my furniture or bed.

[Dougie]

I met with the surgeon Monday. They are going to take part of the L4-5 disc, and possibly some of the other two discs that are also herniated if depending on how everything looks when they get in my back to look. That should happen in a few more weeks. The doc is saying it's going to be a 1.5 hour out-patient surgery. Last time I went through that it was supposed to be 2 hours. 4.5 hours later I was coming out of surgery. I spent the next 5 days try to get everything, legs included, working again. Hopefully it goes better this time.

My Doc told me I'm prone to back problems, and it will get worse with age. That was his prognosis after reviewing my MRI history. I guess time will tell. I'm going to do everything I like to do until it either kills me, or my back completely fails me. I got a bike out and went for a short ride last weekend. It felt good, but I have been paying for it for the last few days.

[turtlepins]

Well, I talked to the doc yesterday. He thinks the problem is related to my back. The doc is referring my to a Neurosurgery group. I see them tomorrow afternoon. That's good because the Bianco doesn't seem to handle flooding very well when it's already wet.

I had four disks replaced four years ago and wish now I'd never allowed it. My back is worse now than it was then when it comes to pain. So be careful. Also, I agree with everyone else. Get a urologist to do a full examination of everything too. Gauze diapers with a terry soaker can handle six times the liquid of any disposable. You might check that out if you're flooding your diaper. My condition allows my bladder to fill all the way up before emptying, so whenever I go it's a flood. I can't wear disposables, but I've tried them all in the hopes I'll find one that won't give me the rash from hell. None of them have been able to handle even one wetting. Even the overnight disposables don't handle one flood. It's the way it is!

[Dougie]

Called to find out when the surgery will happen. They said Dec 2nd. I have six more weeks of this crap before I can even start healing. That also means I don't have enough money to pay my bills or buy food until then, so it doesn't really matter since disability insurance hasn't come through yet.

I am so sick of this crap!

[Moana]

Called to find out when the surgery will happen. They said Dec 2nd. I have six more weeks of this crap before I can even start healing. That also means I don't have enough money to pay my bills or buy food until then, so it doesn't really matter since disability insurance hasn't come through yet.

I am so sick of this crap!

I know I'm late to the band wagon here. And I really, REALLY feel bad for you man. If I weren't two time zones away I would make sure your dogs are walked till their legs hurt, fed and watered till they were fat, and that you would have all the support in the world to tell those doctors to shut the hell up until they feel their own bodies going through what you are.

And yeah, it may be the last thing people think of. But can you go back with your parents, or have them stay with you and help you out? Maybe even some good friends who wouldn't mind cooking you a meal a day?

You need help hun, you really do. Just don't hurt yourself. People do care, just your doctors all fail at life.