Diaper Duality

[acemanner]

I'm kinda at a hard point it my life.

On one hand , I have the Metal head in me , wanting everything to be brutal , like the most beautiful thing I could ever see was raining blood, and to be playing speed metal in the middle of it. Where everything should be hardcore and brutal , and any signs of weakness means your left behind.

but on the otherhand , my DL side, where I just want to be taken care of and have no worries, not having to think about what im going to do next, just curl up with mommy/daddy (I haven't figured out S/G/bi yet either , go figure) and relax.

But where my problem starts is, I can't see these two things coexisting in my life. In the past couple weeks I've found myself wanting to wear less and less, whereas my want to workout and thrash along to some Coal chamber or Static-x is surfacing more and more.

But I dont want my DL side destroyed, but it seems like that side of me is slowly dying, and im becoming the brutal, emotionless being ive looked forwards in my life and seen.

What I'm asking i guess, Is how do you guys deal with it? it feels like theres different people living in the same body sometimes, and their both fighting to suface in me.

You dont hav eot be a metalhead like me for this , but just with other parts of your life. I guess I don't know exactly how to explain it. the simplest thing I can think of is, How do you deal with the duality of your lives, with the AB/DL side and the rest of yourselves.

[Rawr]

Well dude, you're at a time in your life when you're basically just figuring out exactly *who* you are - so don't worry if it's confusing.

Also, speaking from my own experience, I find that my feelings towards diapers come and go. Sometimes I'll want to indulge whenever possible, other times I won't be bothered about it, and more interested in other things (vanilla sex with my GF etc). But it never really goes away, but is just sometimes more or less important to me. Does that make sense? Maybe that's what's happening to you?

The only other thing I can say is that you should try to be happy in who you are!

Rx.

[Youngatheart252]

Age play's a big factor in this.

You'll find (as I did) that aspects of one start to drift into the other.....it's not about the extremes. It's not one or the other either. One day you'll notice that you don't feel weird jammin to Opeth diapered. It unfortunatley takes time. I fought with it too, peircings, tats, hair down to my ass , etc. Now I realize I don't have to put up a "brutal" front, I'm comfortable with who I am, fuck'em if they don't like it.

Hope that helps

[Guest dragonmaster4066]

from talking to people on here for the past couple of years. the diapers come and go but never leave for good. i personally am incon but like you i am a metal head. i understand the conflict inside. i just cant runaway from it at all. i am an old school metal head from back in the day but i also like some of the newer stuff too. i went to a concert earlier this year and did a meet and greet with all 4 bands. i was so worried that my diapers would get exposed somehow. lucky me they didnt. i even had pictures taken of me with the bands.we had to get kinda close in to get the shots as it wasnt a very large room. i was worried as all get out but was not going to pass up the chance at having my picture taken with hinder,theory of a deadman,three doors down,and blackstone cherry. just dont worry. the diapers will come back over and over according to everyone i have talked to here. just do what makes you feel good.

[curiositykilledthecat]

ahh to be 19 again.

[acemanner]

you want to be 19 again? this SUCKS , i mean sure i have my youth , but I'd rather grow a few years in maturity and intelligence then be where im at right now. Then again , I get the feeling Ill be saying the exact opposite then im 50...

[curiositykilledthecat]

Enjoy being a kid while you can. I have discovered that I enjoy being smart however it also makes you miserable at times. The more you now the less things make sense.

Ecclesiastes 1

¹⁶ I thought to myself, "Look, I have grown and increased in wisdom more than anyone who has ruled over Jerusalem before me; I have experienced much of wisdom and knowledge." ¹⁷ Then I applied myself to the understanding of wisdom, and also of madness and folly, but I learned that this, too, is a chasing after the wind.

¹⁸ For with much wisdom comes much sorrow;

the more knowledge, the more grief.

Not getting preachy, just always loved the philosophical side of this Book.

[dethpuck]

i know what you mean. i listen to metal and i used to play ice hockey until i shattered my right leg. did i ever think if my metal/ice hockey friends only knew. yeah sure. but in the end metal is about truly being yourself and going against the system. what's more against the system than listening to loud music and wetting a diaper! besides some metal dudes could really use a diaper from time to time. ever seen lamb of god's first home video. Willie their guitarist got drunk and shit his pants! be he wished he had a diaper on! there are a lot more metalheads than you know into this fetish. i'd be more ashamed of getting caught listening to rap then diapered.

throw up the horns, and tape up the diapers!

DETH

[Bettypooh]

you want to be 19 again? this SUCKS , i mean sure i have my youth , but I'd rather grow a few years in maturity and intelligence then be where im at right now. Then again , I get the feeling Ill be saying the exact opposite then im 50...

At 50 +1 I'll say you're right on target Back to your OP life is like that and in time you'll find some things become an integral part of you as others fade away So just live for how you feel now and don't worry about the rest. About diapers, well this is highly unlikely to disappear completely though it may come and go. Although my thoughts were already there I was 1 1/2 times your age when I got my first real adult diaper. I wondered why I just couldn't fight it anymore Now I simply accept that this is a part of me and wonder why I let it take so long to do it

I was one of the wild ones when I was younger but I knew I had a soft side. I just kept it hidden because my wild side seemed to be having fun and doing well The girly things were well hidden, purged, denied but it made no difference- that always came back and I knew I couldn't fight it. Finally I explored my gender which led me on a nearly decade-long expedition through everything in my life. Along the way I picked up diapers and they're still with me While you're young be young: Explore (safely) whatever you want to. Don't let anyone else set your standards. Don't do anything that will burn bridges you may want to cross again someday. Don't let "later" become "too late" as I did with too many things But mainly don't worry about the things you feel like you might be losing. If they're really meant for you then they will return- if not you didn't need them anyway

Bettypooh

[PArms]

But where my problem starts is, I can't see these two things coexisting in my life. In the past couple weeks I've found myself wanting to wear less and less, whereas my want to workout and thrash along to some Coal chamber or Static-x is surfacing more and more.

You'll read a lot about balance on the boards here. Sounds like your balance might be a few months of one and then a few months of the other. Eventually they will blend together. It has for me.

[Opie]

you want to be 19 again? this SUCKS , i mean sure i have my youth , but I'd rather grow a few years in maturity and intelligence then be where im at right now. Then again , I get the feeling Ill be saying the exact opposite then im 50...

50? I bet it happens before you're 30. At 31, I got things that creak already. I think the best age was 25. Young enough to be considered young, and old enough to be considered mature.

[Honeywell6180]

I'd rather be in my mid to late 20's, own a nice house and car, and have a good paying job, plus a great family and trophy wife with a strong professional network. But then, I have to buy this absorbent shit they make for adults, which makes me wonder if I'm even socially acceptable. Why do you people take such pride in all this?

Honeywell6180

[Knuxie Fawks]

It is just what you say. It's a duality. It's your dual nature. You can have both at different times, or parts of both at the same time, like rocking out while in a diaper. Who you are is a choice that only you can make. I have many sides myself, however I don't choose just one. I go with whichever is most appropriate for the time. I'm actually an intelligent, hard working person, and that's the side I strive to show the most at work. I'm also very competitive, which is a side I show around my friends. I'm a tech geek, which I sometimes show around new people to possibly spark a little interest. And I'm a babyfur, which is just for me.

[hidden]

I'd rather be in my mid to late 20's, own a nice house and car, and have a good paying job, plus a great family and trophy wife with a strong professional network. But then, I have to buy this absorbent shit they make for adults, which makes me wonder if I'm even socially acceptable. Why do you people take such pride in all this?

Honeywell6180

Same reason (some) gay people take pride in being gay. They cannot help being gay as you cannot help wearing diapers. Everyone has something they are insecure about. The important thing is to get past that and move on.

If you cannot find someone to accept you as you are (diapers and all), would you really want to be with them, even if you didn't need diapers?

I am not incont so I have not experienced what you have but I have my own set of social flaws that would keep people away more so than diapers.

[Diseased88]

wow ace, spot on! For me, it's not just the diapers, but general attitude. I feel like I don't fit in anywhere! When I'm with the tough crowd, my "kid" side shows itself, and people think I'm gay or just weird. And when I'm around people that are all happy and cheery, I act solemn and more tough guyish, ya know? It's like my body won't let me fit in! gack!

I see myself having two personalities, and, I suppose it's self medicating, but the diapers/furry/playing like a kid help bring out the side I want to bear to the people who like me for that. My hobbies like shooting/playing violent sports/ listening to metal, help bring out the kind of person I like to be when I'm around the more hardcore crowd. (or out in public, I am REALLY self conscious about what people think of me in public. I don't want to appear like a victim.)

[Youngatheart252]

The older you get the less you'll care about what other people think.

[Aleia]

I'd rather be in my mid to late 20's, own a nice house and car, and have a good paying job, plus a great family and trophy wife with a strong professional network. But then, I have to buy this absorbent shit they make for adults, which makes me wonder if I'm even socially acceptable. Why do you people take such pride in all this?

Honeywell6180

May I ask what you're doing on an ABDL message board, then?

[sarah_ab]

interest in things wax and wane.. ever wanted to eat the same food for weeks on end, only to one day realize you dont even want to think about it?

or watch the same tv show every day, only to one day just not really be in the mood to want it?

or want to wear diapers all the time, only to one day just want to be doing something else?

yep it IS THE SAME THING... dont worry, just go with what you want to do and you'll find out that after a while you will probably want to wear diapers agains.

As to the duality, we all have different roles we play in different situations, with different people. When i am at work, i act very different then when i am out with my friends. I still have the same morals, values and beliefs, but i talk different, i talk about different things, i carry myself different, i dress different (well i have a work uniform)... this doesn't mean i'm different people, it just means that depending on where i am, and who i am with i will alter my word usage, my converastional material and other behaviors to be apropriate ....

[ultrapampers]

May I ask what you're doing on an ABDL message board, then?

Honeywell gets asked that often, but won't ever answer. I think he's here as self-appointed representative of incontinent folks who hate ABDLs, and can't understand why anybody would actually want to wear a diaper. I'm glad not all incontinent people feel that way.

[Knuxie Fawks]

The older you get the less you'll care about what other people think.

"People who say they don't care what other people think are normally desperate to make people think they don't care what people think." - George Carlin

[gweg]

Honeywell gets asked that often, but won't ever answer. I think he's here as self-appointed representative of incontinent folks who hate ABDLs, and can't understand why anybody would actually want to wear a diaper. I'm glad not all incontinent people feel that way.

As a midlife accident and struggling "Incontinent" now who learning to deal with it ... the AB style saved my life... and all that after I spent 5 grand with a shrink and was still ready to end it all.

[tris]

Yup, been there, too. The brink of desperation is a both a thrilling experience and cold hard reality of the life that you have made, and are making for yourself.

@OP: I've been where your mind is, and I asked myself: How do I reconcile one? The answer to this question is the answer to your current problem.

[Youngatheart252]

"People who say they don't care what other people think are normally desperate to make people think they don't care what people think." - George Carlin

"the less you'll care", not that you won't care. I don't know anyone that's not a self-obsorbed asshole that doesn't care what others think....I'm just saying it will have less of a hold on what you do as you get older