Diapers And Isolation In Community

[PhilDL]

I'm someone who is a diaper lover and a fan of BDSM, two of my three favorite fetishes.

Here on Daily Diapers I heard about Fetlife a few months ago. It's a nice online social site that also has many diaper lovers too.

In a local group on Fetlife, I posted an offering for free domestic services for ladies where they could have little to do in exchange. A few contacted me and I told them I wanted to serve them and clean their home in my diaper. Now in BDSM, diapers are known, in fact diapers are listed in purity tests. They are all for have free cleaning done. Once I mention the diaper they seem to balk at the idea. It's not like I want them to change me, just let me come over and clean in my diaper!

Now I understand that we shouldn't thrust out fetish onto others but this is the BDSM community that is suppose to be opened minded. One of the ladies who responded is into scarring. In fact she has a picture of a fresh cutting on her ass where her Master carved initials! So why am I being treated like a Leper by people like this?

I think scarring, piercing and tattoos are terrible. But if you are into that how can you treat a diaper lover like a social pervert! The difference is this, if they wanted to do this for me I wouldn't care if they wanted to show me their carvings but then if they wanted me to participate in carving then it's a different story just as if I asked them to change me.

Phil

[BabyBat]

Do you mean a Leper, as in a leper colony? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leper_colony

I don't mean to be a dick, I was just confused for a while.

[BriGuy]

Interesting.... I have had the exact opposite reaction in the BDSM community... Sorry to hear that you are experiencing that. Maybe in the ad put up that you have no desire to be changed by them you just like the humiliation of cleaning in your diaper??

You got me on Leopard too! LOL I think the term you were looking for is Leper! teehee.

~Brian

[Angela Bauer]

With all respect, for many decades the term preferred is Hanson's Disease.

Personally I had been urinary incontinent for 11 years before I learned nice people were into playing Adult Baby. However, 3 years after I reverted to bedwetting I managed to go from just reading about romantic spanking for pleasure to actually participating at parties. Those were the days I still had day control. Where my life became more complicated was at the point I no longer could dare going without a diaper for the first 3 hours of an adult spanking party. As soon as some of the other gals found out about my diapers they started teasing me. I had never been teased about diapers in high school or college.

That adult spanking bunch is not much into BDSM, although several of the girls did BDSM as well as spanking videos and photo shoots. Personally I never understood why anyone would be down on diapers. By then to me they were undies.

Attitudes within the West Coast Adult Spanking scene started to improve about 1995. A couple of years before then a popular spanking submissive model was shown in her actual crib in a spanking video. Then as the 1994 Shadow Lane Labor Day Weekend spanking convention was starting a gal who produces some of the best such videos asked to borrow some Attends. She had some urinary control issues. She had tried Depend Medium from a store but those were too big. She is my size. Turned out she really got into diapers, as did her husband and co-producer. That couple is one of our closest AB pals. Apparently the rest of the scene did not want to confront and tease so many of us. Three other SoCal spanking couples have gotten more into AB, although all of us still also go to spanking events.

Life is good.

[PhilDL]

Thanks for the correction, another brain fart for today!

[sarah_ab]

its just like how diaper loves can find tattoos and scarring appaling, how diaper lovers can be for gun control, can be against national health care, can find pony play disturbing but into furs...

we are human, we like what we like, that doesn't mean we have to accept or want to participate in other people's fetish's.

i mean it sucks it didn't work out with these ladies, but they are human, just like you....

i mean if someone said "i want you to clean for me while i burn you, then tattoo you and pierce your penis, but you get to be in a diaper" would you do it?

being into one fetish, in no way implies someone will be into or want to engage in another one.

[tris]

Yeah, but what he's getting at is, if someone's into one kind of fetish, it would seem hypocritical of them to not be at least tolerant of another. I mean, I'm not into BDSM, but I love talking about it with people, and learning new things. In fact, I'd even watch just to see what it's all about!

Maybe it's your approach?

[sarah_ab]

thats like saying if someone loves dogs its hypocritical of them to not at least be tolerant of cats, i mean after all they are both pets.

[tris]

I didn't say it was right, or ideal, I'm just saying I get what he's trying to say.

[beachxbunni123]

I think the reason that this fetish seems to be "abnormal" in society is because not a lot of people know about it. Almost everyone knows about BDSM and all the kinky stuff that goes along with it and thats why most people don't really see that stuff as strange. Most people that have this fetish don't even realize that it is a fetish and think that they're the only one! If there were more ABDL references in society or advertisements of some sort (in a positive way of course) then people would start to see it so much that they wouldn't be so weirded out by it anymore or they would realize it that they have it and would like to try it; it would become known.

[timmyc]

Different strokes for different folks, I don't like a lot of things on BDSM sites, love some of the other things. I won't call someoneout for liking something, and am in no way offended if someone don't like what I do. Just because people are in the same fetish community, doesn't mean they want the same things. If someone is not interested, you can't force. Keep looking untill you find the special one that works.

[PampersPete]

WE(as in AB/DLers)will never be taken serious in Amerika until we get our puritanical heads out of our"freedumb-loving"asses.

[PhilDL]

Well what they get in return is someone doing their tedious household chores, that's their compensation!

Here's an example, I hate washing my car, if some lady said I'll come over and wash your car in her bikini because she wants to show off her tattoos or scarring. I would say sure I'll sit down watch her wash my car while she also gets me a refreshing drink. Now if she said after I wash your car I want you to grab a razor and etch my initial in her ass, then I would say no thank you.

So this is the same I'm asking, I hate household chores too, all I'm asking is to be watched in my diaper as I clean for her, not to change me.

Phil

i mean if someone said "i want you to clean for me while i burn you, then tattoo you and pierce your penis, but you get to be in a diaper" would you do it?

[Bee]

So this is the same I'm asking, I hate household chores too, all I'm asking is to be watched in my diaper as I clean for her, not to change me.

But maybe that's a limit for her. Maybe just watching is further than she wants to go. The most important thing in the BDSM community is consent, and respecting limits, no matter how random they might seem to anyone else. Just because you would be comfortable watching someone display a kink that doesn't do it for you doesn't mean that other person is comfortable with the same.

Should they judge you and call you disgusting? Of course not. But neither do they have to go as far as you're willing to. Respecting someone's kinks doesn't have to extend to indulging or participating in them. For you, the kink might be being changed, but if for her simply seeing an adult in a diaper is too much...then that's her limit. At least respecting it means you're more likely to have your own respected in turn.

[PhilDL]

I will always respect someones limits. I think what is more frustrating than getting a lady to accept this is trying to understand their lack of consideration for having someone in exchange doing household chores for them!

It's like work. Most people hate their jobs and the customers, they deal with that crap for money.

Phil

But maybe that's a limit for her. Maybe just watching is further than she wants to go. The most important thing in the BDSM community is consent, and respecting limits, no matter how random they might seem to anyone else. Just because you would be comfortable watching someone display a kink that doesn't do it for you doesn't mean that other person is comfortable with the same.

Should they judge you and call you disgusting? Of course not. But neither do they have to go as far as you're willing to. Respecting someone's kinks doesn't have to extend to indulging or participating in them. For you, the kink might be being changed, but if for her simply seeing an adult in a diaper is too much...then that's her limit. At least respecting it means you're more likely to have your own respected in turn.

[sarah_ab]

maybe its because they are assuming (either rightly or wrongly) that being watched in a diaper is sexually stimulating for you, so therefore you cleaning in a diaper is a sexual activity, and as they are not comfortable with diapers and sex, they are not comfortable with you getting off on them watching you in a diaper....

[PhilDL]

Good point, why are humans so difficult!

maybe its because they are assuming (either rightly or wrongly) that being watched in a diaper is sexually stimulating for you, so therefore you cleaning in a diaper is a sexual activity, and as they are not comfortable with diapers and sex, they are not comfortable with you getting off on them watching you in a diaper....

[Bee]

Good point, why are humans so difficult!

Answer that, and you'll have the gratitude of the entire planet!

It is frustrating, trying to understand the blocks some people have, trying to understand why they can't open their minds a little bit more.

But then if we were all the same, life would be boring, right?

[PhilDL]

Yes except if everyone wore diapers!

But then if we were all the same, life would be boring, right?

[sarah_ab]

ewwwww boys in diapers are just silly!!!

[Bettypooh]

I'm someone who is a diaper lover and a fan of BDSM, two of my three favorite fetishes.

Here on Daily Diapers I heard about Fetlife a few months ago. It's a nice online social site that also has many diaper lovers too.

In a local group on Fetlife, I posted an offering for free domestic services for ladies where they could have little to do in exchange. A few contacted me and I told them I wanted to serve them and clean their home in my diaper. Now in BDSM, diapers are known, in fact diapers are listed in purity tests. They are all for have free cleaning done. Once I mention the diaper they seem to balk at the idea. It's not like I want them to change me, just let me come over and clean in my diaper!

Now I understand that we shouldn't thrust out fetish onto others but this is the BDSM community that is suppose to be opened minded. One of the ladies who responded is into scarring. In fact she has a picture of a fresh cutting on her ass where her Master carved initials! So why am I being treated like a Leper by people like this?

I think scarring, piercing and tattoos are terrible. But if you are into that how can you treat a diaper lover like a social pervert! The difference is this, if they wanted to do this for me I wouldn't care if they wanted to show me their carvings but then if they wanted me to participate in carving then it's a different story just as if I asked them to change me.

Phil

Unfortunately people usually aren't as open-minded as they think they are- and that goes for everyone, not just the BDSM community. There's no solution except leading by example and hoping they notice and learn. Like with everything it's more how you see it than what it is that dictates your response. I too don't understand scarring or even tatoos- I feel they're both ugly and not too smart but that's my true feelings and they don't apply to others, only me. I handle this by keeping in mind that if I am intolerant of those who like such things I have no right to ask or expect them to be tolerant of me- after all they might feel the same way about my diapers! I have every right to like or dislike as I wish to, but I don't have the right to expect anyone to like my quirks- only to tolerate them as I do their quirks. So it's their home and they can decide whether to let you or me in as they want. I do the same and it's OK! But when either of us leaves home the rules change- it's no longer our choice of whether to be intolerant or not; as we expect others to tolerate us we must tolerate them even though our likes and dislikes remain in place.

As already suggested I'd reword the ad to say I don't expect to be changed. Personally I'd also mention I am not going to become stinky or leaky and that I don't expect them to even watch (unless that matters to you) so as to make them as comfortable with me as possibble. You might even mention that you'd be willing to do part of it in costume if they wish and you don't mind that. The idea is to make them as comfortable with this as you can and allow them to have some input on your playtime in their home to 'sweeten the deal'. Unless you have to do this in a particular way to be happy give them a chance for some fun the way they like as long as you can tolerate it.

Good luck!

Bettypooh

[PhilDL]

Really Sarah, you don't like boys in diapers?

I'm straight but I think any adult looks better in a diaper! Of course women always look better in anything! I find a diaper on a lady to be as appealing as the sexist lingerie. Most of the time I'll prefer a diaper over lingerie!

Phil

ewwwww boys in diapers are just silly!!!

[sarah_ab]

Personally, i do not find the sight or thought of a man in a diaper in any way appealing... but i said that comment in jest...thats why i added the tongue out silly smily face thingy

i dont actually think that men should not wear diapers or anything like that.. if they are into it.. go for it..

just for me, i would not want to be with a man who wore diapers, i want a daddy figure only, and in my own personal life, my ideal daddy would not wear diapers (and my boyfriend/daddy is that man)

[PhilDL]

OUCH! Kinda of pops the bubble of the already impossible dream of finding a lady to wear diapers with!

But I can understand where you are coming from, your thing is to have a Daddy. I'm more a DL but would like to find a Mommy but the real DL in me wants to have a DL girlfriend. How fun it would be to diaper each other!

Phil

Personally, i do not find the sight or thought of a man in a diaper in any way appealing... but i said that comment in jest...thats why i added the tongue out silly smily face thingy

i dont actually think that men should not wear diapers or anything like that.. if they are into it.. go for it..

just for me, i would not want to be with a man who wore diapers, i want a daddy figure only, and in my own personal life, my ideal daddy would not wear diapers (and my boyfriend/daddy is that man)