How/when Did You Accept That You Were Into / Wanted To Wear Diapers

[diaperfascination]

I tried to search but maybe i just i just didnt read far enough , but i had a questions related to allowing yourself to enjoy your diapers and understand that its ok.

When did you , or what did you do to help yourself accept the part of you that enjoys diapers . i have tried multiple times to tell myself to just accept it and that it will never go away , but i just cant seem to fully accept it . even after wearing diapers for the first time .

I enjoyed the feeling of being diapered , wetting my diapers , messing my diapers , the noise of my diapers . but usally i end up struggling with myself because i cant help but feel i am doing something wrong . not to mention if anyone i knew ever found out , im sure they would never accept it . Its not to the point where it consumes my daily life or interrupts my relationships , but it is adding some stress on top of some other stresses .

How long does it normally take for one who is into diapers to accept it and understand that its not something that is wrong , was it preprogrammed into my person at some point in time ?

any advice or words would be very nice , feel free to post .

[Guest YkDave]

for most of us, its something that we will never really get rid of completely. Mainly because that is the way we have been brought up, anything other than 'normal' is not 'right'

Its just something you have to work on yourself, get it through your mind that their is nothing wrong with it. Just like ones sexual preference (gay for ex), its just the way it is, not something we decided. As tough as it is, you just have to keep on truckin, over time it will get better

I have been wearing diapers regularly since i was about 16, daily and sometimes 24/7 for the last 4 years (more of a transition from DL to AB) and i still feel that guilt every now and then. But it has been much better after i started wearing more often and out in public.

[Yvhuce]

Perty much the moment I first put the diaper on... I never really had any negative thoughts about this that weren't spawned by my family's threats and anti-diaper attitude.

My family on the other hand... They're rabidly against it. But, I don't live with them anymore, so screw what they think.

But, then again, I'm no stranger to being the oddball who goes against the statistics... After all, what's the chances of there being another Native American semi-intellectual redneck DL who's also a writer by hobby and has been in a car that was struck by lighting while going down the road?

[PampersPete]

Well,Yvhuce,with the exception that I'm only a part Ojibewa Indian and I've never been in a car hit by lightening,I'd say the odds are pretty fuckin' good

[Nat]

Just tell you guilty feelings to shut up and ignore them. After a while the guilt goes away.

[DL_Master]

never really hd any guilt but i surpresseed it from ages 9-13, I realised this was unhealthy for me and made me more stressed out about things, but I actually accepted it whan I was 14

[g4ugeddude]

Yes, to answer your question, you feel guilty that you are doing something wrong because thats what you were taught when ou were ...ummm *potty trained* (dirty words in my vocabulary) If you have a predisposition or obsession or 'fascination' (as in your nick) with diapers, thats pretty much the way you are.

I have been a D/L since I was a kid, around 5-6 years old. I still remember when the thought first hit me that :" it would be really neat to be able to wear diapers again"

I have struggled with it ever since then, guilt, shame binge/ purge cycles (though I never tossed anything out, but put it away in the closet for later)

Only within the last few years have I finally come to grips with this silly thing. Diapers are just a different form of underwear, and wearing and using them isn't a crime anywhere on the planet (that I know of)

I struggled with this for over 30 years, until I got a computer and went on-line to discover that there are other people like me and whole communities of people into this stuff! THAT in and of itself helped greatly in my self acceptance.

The rest may be from age, after a while I just didn't care what other people think, it's my life and I'll live it as I damn well please... diapers included.

You're still young, so you have a ways to go, but at least you have a better start that many of us 'old farts" I'd give it a few years....wear and play often and just remember you're not hurting anyone...it really is OK

hope this helps,

qwack

wow i know it wasn't intended for me but i read this reply either way and i completely agree with you.

i started when i was about 5-6 as well, and i remember the first time i went against my parents to please myself satisfaction.

i had several younger bros and i would steal their diapers and put them on cause i was so small but yea i had to put up with my parent yelling at me and telling me that they were bad after a certain age.

ha idk im just blabbering, but yea it did help lol even though it wasn't intended for me

[Diaper666]

i think the reason most of us have that guilty feeling is that if you look most of us "stole" our first diaper either it be from a younger sibling or cousin that was still in diapers or either a aunt or uncle that wore them for medical reason and that guilt has stuck with us

[timmyc]

I think guilt is a natural thing. We are supposed to be potty trained. Most of the world around us is potty trained, and don't even think about it, they just are. Parents can be a major source of guilt, especially in the Catholic & Jewish faiths

I have had intrests of some sort involving diapers since I was out of them. They really manifested themselfs in my teens, their was always some guilt associated with it, but not overwhelming. When I started living on my own, I knew it didn't matter. I actually like a little guilt and shame it is part of how I enjoy diapers though maybe not every time, I can wear, use, and dispose at will but sometimes I am still that little boy with a secret, and a fear of getting caught.

[diaperfascination]

Wow , thank you alot for the responses , and yes when i finally started looking on the internet for more information on diapers , i finally got to notice how many people had this interest and it really did help but i guess its still just the fact that somehow i still feel alone .

and it sort of came on id say around 12-13 for me but it never involved taking diapers from younger siblings .

Does the same sort of thing happen to people who usually have someone to partake in their diaper play or wearing , or are the feelings usually the same no matter what ?

[Knuxie Fawks]

Well, I really didn't feel guilty about the diapers...maybe some guilt from putting toilet paper in my underwear from age 8 to 23, but wearing diapers was more of worry that people would find out. I did feel naughty when I wet or messed myself without a diaper which was moreso giving into a strong urge instead of fighting it. There are times when it's just easier to let go and clean up after than fight it and hold it. It all washes out. It's just a lot easier to clean up with a diaper.

[sarah_ab]

i guess i just dont fit in... in march of 04, i stumbled across an ab story site.. at first i looked at it cause it was highly amusing.. hairy men in big sissy dresses with a pacifer among their beard.. FUNNY stuff.

but i kept going back to the site and finding stories bout daddy's and baby girls...

so i figured, heck i must be into this.

and that was that.

never had guilt, never binged and purged, never felt bad, or questioned why..

i dont see the point.

do you feel guilt over liking a movie none of your friends do? do you analyze over and over why you like this movie and they dont? or do you just say "well i liked it" and watch it when you want to when your friends aren't around.

it really IS as simple as that.

[NewdudeDL]

I have to say that I learned to accept this side of myself after joining this site almost a year ago. Met a lot of people who were very friendly/helpful in getting over the stigma of diapers and baby things for an adult to use. I'm resigned to the fact that this will ALWAYS be with me. I can repress my AB/DL side, but that isn't a healthy answer for what is objectively a perfectly harmless impulse when enjoyed in moderation.

I only feel guilty if I spend money on diapers that could have been used for other more permanent luxury items (books etc.)

[curiositykilledthecat]

I feel awkward no matter where I am or what I'm doing so this just adds to it. what bothers me is having nobody to persoanlly share it with as I cannot tell my family or friends.

[Bee]

i guess i just dont fit in...never had guilt, never binged and purged, never felt bad, or questioned why..

i dont see the point.

do you feel guilt over liking a movie none of your friends do? do you analyze over and over why you like this movie and they dont? or do you just say "well i liked it" and watch it when you want to when your friends aren't around.

it really IS as simple as that.

That's pretty much been me, too. I stumbled across some hypnosis CDs on eBay in February of 2008 or so that claimed they could make you wet the bed, and was surprised such a thing existed. Did some google searching, found the stories here, started reading, and really got off on and into it.

I never had the urge to wear again as a teenager or a kid, so far as I can remember, and I never thought I was going to hell or that there was anything wrong with liking this. But then I'm pretty kinky, anyway, so diapers got added to the toy chest along with everything else.

[JDL23]

My fascination began around age 12, and I start to wear on and off for the next few years with varying levels of guilt and denial (thinking my DL nature was somehow different from "who I was" the rest of the time). I didn't wear for a few more years until I finally came out to my aunt about it in my junior year of college and found acceptance. Then I more or less integrated being a DL with the rest of my personality and the rest is history.

[babyvr6]

Tomorrow is when I first accepted this. Seriously though, some time in my early double digits or late single digits.

[curiositykilledthecat]

In all honesty I had the notion of doing this at a very young age, however didn't act out on it till last year. It went from an abnormal fixation that I had to ignore to there are others like me, cool. Sometimes the internet sucks.

[FretaBWet]

In all honesty I had the notion of doing this at a very young age, however didn't act out on it till last year. Good

It went from an abnormal fixation that I had to ignore to there are others like me, cool. Better

Sometimes the internet sucks. Priceless

And sometimes it's really entertaining.

Hugs,

Freta

[BabyBat]

I find it interesting the apparent correlation between people who 'discovered' this earlier in life to the guilt factor.

I think that two things are in play here.

1) The age at which our personality is most susceptible we are dealing with this on top of everything else. I have been out of school for awhile, but from what I heard it has gotten worse, not better. All you want to do is fit in or be accepted and then there is this diaper thing in the back of your head that you KNOW sets you apart.

We are taught in every aspect of (American at least) society that you should hide your sexual desires. It comes out on TV that such and such saw a young girl (something we are BIOLOGICALLY programmed to do) and it is huge, such and such is shamed.

Most of us are taught that masturbation is bad (although it has gotten better), and that something is 'wrong' with you if you want/need to do it yourself.

2) There is a book called The Secret Language of Feelings. Basically it tried to detail root causes for emotions and the author (Calvin Banyan) has had some excellent results so I tend to give him credit. Also every time I have attempted to apply his theories they have been successful (for me anyway).

He theorizes that guilt is caused by the inner feeling that you have wronged someone. This is meant to be a very generalized statement so it does not mean that you kicked someone (or some other thing). It is also what your SUBCONSCIOUS (SC) thinks. So.....

Most of us hide this from everyone, friends, family, significant others, etc. These are people that are supposed to be our support and we are hiding this from them. I think this has [and continues to] cause and enormous amount of guilt for us. Especially those of us who are lifestylers, this is who you are so if you are hiding it your SC has trouble with that.

Remember that your SC has no logic (literally) so it doesn't analyze things like: 'Mom really has no need to know about what i do in my bedroom, infact it would probably be in-appropriate for me to tell her' It just 'knows' that [for example] you have always gone to your mom for acceptance and support and now you are hiding it.

I think it gets even more tangled when dealing with SOs. Most of us would feel hurt or betrayed if our SOs kept something this big from us, even if it were not our thing we know we would love and accept them. This translates and combines with our fear in our SC to: 'If my wife divorces me or thinks I am a freak then she really doesn't love ME' and most of us can't mentally take that so we isolate it, which causes more guilt because your SC knows that if it were the other way around (your SO hiding from you) that you would feel betrayed, hence you have wronged them (in your SC's eyes) so you have guilt.

What do others think of this theory?

[Diaper666]

Another thing i forgot to add was that at least with me i really didn't " explore" this fetish like i should have when i was 13-15 and still bed wetting and was wearing diapers . But for me at least i really though it was me just exploring my sexual side and it just so happens diapers were available .I Mean while i was a bed wetter and wore at night there were times like when i had no school or either no friends over i would wear them full time and my parents then did NOT care one bit actually if they were still alive id be wearing more like i was then than i am now in my current situation . I mean now i just wear pullups and the occasional diaper but i still tend to stick to wearing male guards

[BabyBat]

I am glad you find it helpful. The brother to guilt is anger which is also common to our situation. Calvin's theory on anger is that you feel anger when you have been wronged/slighted. So if your family/friends were to shun you then you would feel anger at them (it is still the same you, nothing has changed).

I haven't actually read the book yet, which I regret; however he does have a podcast but it is geared toward professional hypnotists. I am a hobbyist so I enjoy it, but just FYI.

As I was searching for a link to the podcast I found an older podcast of his that looks abandoned but it is an actual secret language of feeling podcast, Here (itunes) it is.

EDIT: Here is the official website. I have downloaded all the podcasts and I am refreshing, good stuff.

[Jilly Poo]

I believe that the reason we feel guilty about it is because on so many levels we are told that it is wrong or nasty; that bodily functions are inappropriate and disgusting and that desiring something is selfish. Try farting or burping in public without excusing yourself and see what happens if you don't believe me.

I remember watching TV talk shows that depicted AB's who just wanted to share their desires and the live audiences mocked and ridiculed them, even threw things at these brave souls who wanted to share their fetish with the world. Much like on talk shows today, if someone confesses that they like to be tied up and beat up, people will mock them or call them sick but how many bondage toys are sold each year to the very same people who mock or claim to be repulsed.

Recently, several TV shows (in the US) have shown scenes involving AB or DL interests as part of sexual roleplay for "Shcock Value." Family Guy for one has shown Quagmire in a diaper, baby bonnet, bib and pacifier in an episode and on CSI (I believe) in an episode called "King Baby" a rich business man was found dead outside his home in a diaper. The investigators later discovered he had a secret AB nursery in his mansion. The only problem with shows addressing the topic is that it is still done in disgust and the "Water Cooler" conversations the next day are mostly negative, but at least people are talking and seeing it during Prime Time.

The problem is that diapers are marketed for the very young and the very old. We are told that diapers are meant for those of us who can not control their body functions either through inexperience or eventual illnes or injury. It would be wonderful for the rest of us if some Hollywood Celeb: who isn't drunk, stoned or otherwise out of their mind; could stand up and admit that they like to wear diapers on occasion but even though I am sure there are plenty that do, not one will because society has ruled that diapers are dirty and admitting to it might ruin their career. Hence without a spokesperson, we feel we are doing something to which we must be ashamed. I bet if Paris Hilton or Arnold Schwartzenager would admit to being an AB/DL, diaper sales would go up, but could you picture Arnold in a wet nappy and baby booties? LOL

Would the world change it's opinion of AB/DL's if it was discovered that Michael Jackson was one? He did after all have a secret room in his closet. Makes you wonder, doesn't it.

Any way, we all accept our diaper desires in our own way and time and even occasionally want to give it up. Much like other habits, it's a hard one to quit but at least unlike smoking, It won't eventually kill you. (Theory not proven but assumed)

[BabyBat]

Could you picture Arnold in a wet nappy and baby booties? LOL

I am not sure that would do us much good: <best arnold voice> "I am the diapinator"

[Guest dodgedart]

For me it was Try Mens Pads first. My wife picked up some with her normal trip to the store. I did this till I saw the Primary are doc who sent me to a uro-doc!

He gave me meds that made me feal sick stoped up and did not work for the problem.

Getting back to the question asked:

"I" soon found out that it was beyound what a pad could hold! So then moved to "Diapers"

And have been in diapers ever since.