My Partner's A Ab/dl And I'm Not

[dans7008]

So I figured there's bound to be a bunch of us out there in the same boat; ppl who's lover/partner has this fetish while we don't. We love them so much and want to be make them happy (and ourselves too) but that's not always easy. And there's got to be plenty of AB/DL-ers who have lovers who don't share their fetish.

And we could all use a place to meet, share stories, get advice (from each other and from AB/DL's), etc.

Struggles, Success Stories, Questions, Concerns, Misunderstandings, Advice, Understanding, Fears. Share them all.

Here's my situation (and I could definitely use some advice):::::::::::::

My boyfriend of two years is a DL and I'm not. He told me a while ago about his fetish and I couldn't be more okay with it. Sharing in his secret has brought us closer together. He's so sweet and understanding and let me go months before he even asked me to wear a diaper. And the look on his face when I was finally ready told me all I needed to know. I love that man and I want to do everything I can to make him happy!

But things aren't picture perfect. It still doesn't turn me own- I don't know if it ever will- and plain sex doesn't do much for him. We're both virgins but there's nothing about sex that excites him. Nothing. And that sucks because it means a lot to me. We keep saying that we'll find our happy medium where we can both be happy and satisfied, but we just haven't yet. Has anyone found theirs?? He's still shy to tell me exactly what he wants and I'm so naive that I don't know what I want at all so neither of us are really happy. I wouldn't mind 'training' myself to become aroused by his fetish, I just don't know if it's that simple. There's got to be a happy medium...right?

[TapouT]

Sorry you've been ignored, but Ill help you out.

Its awesome of you to accept who he is for who he is--a DL, he's very lucky to be in the company of a deep-minded person and Im sure many of us (including me) can not say the same.

Its even better that you were to take his fetish into your own life, so kudos to you, but there's always going to be a catch. In this case, it doesn't work for you, where vanilla sex doesn't work for him, and its hard to make ends meet sexually.

Have you put a diaper on him yet? Maybe that will revive his sex drive. Maybe he's into being babied. Try buying him a bottle or pacifier or small baby toy that will spark something new.

If youre not for that, there's always compromises. Make a compromise next time that if he will have plain sex with you, youll diaper him afterwards. The promise will excite him.

Hope it helps.

-Sarge

[Halsey]

There are many things that you can do to experiment where the "happy medium" is at. My wife isn't into DL thing, but she does try. You can diaper him and use baby lotion all over his diaper area, I'm sure that will get him excited. You could try some light bondage and get him excited that way :-) It's almost like you need to "reprogram" him. Let's face it, somehow he was conditioned to like diapers, so you can recondition him in other ways. Keep us posted on how your progress is.

[sukima]

My boyfriend of two years is a DL and I'm not. He told me a while ago about his fetish and I couldn't be more okay with it. Sharing in his secret has brought us closer together. He's so sweet and understanding and let me go months before he even asked me to wear a diaper. And the look on his face when I was finally ready told me all I needed to know. I love that man and I want to do everything I can to make him happy!

But things aren't picture perfect. It still doesn't turn me own- I don't know if it ever will- and plain sex doesn't do much for him. We're both virgins but there's nothing about sex that excites him. Nothing. And that sucks because it means a lot to me. We keep saying that we'll find our happy medium where we can both be happy and satisfied, but we just haven't yet. Has anyone found theirs?? He's still shy to tell me exactly what he wants and I'm so naive that I don't know what I want at all so neither of us are really happy. I wouldn't mind 'training' myself to become aroused by his fetish, I just don't know if it's that simple. There's got to be a happy medium...right?

Just found this thread. Sorry for the late reply. First I want to commend you for trying. AB/DL lifestyle people not only idealize a partner who is ok with it we depend on it. The reason things are difficult is the overwhelming stack of cards that stack on us socially. It's like trying to admit that masturbation is ok. Society makes such a big deal about it that the subject is quite paralyzing. and so it comes out on a binge and purge style. A mis mash of uncomfortable communication. Supporting him is the best you can do. Reassure him several times that it is ok.

Now the fact your willing to put on diapers for him means you on the right track. The big question: is he attempting to force you to be turned on with them? Or is it still a form of foreplay? I would imagine the happy medium being use the diapers as a form of lingerie. Put it on and play with him. When it somes to access slid the side over or just take them off. Heck spend some time teasing him until he wants to rip them off and take you. If he like to wear you can incorporate the diaper. Rub the plastic on the outside. It will feel good on his cock. If he points up when hard you can pull the top of the diaper down allowing you access to give felacio. if he pints down you can make a slit in the diaper and have his cock poke through (can get messy if it is wet)

Now on to diaper use. I can't stress this enough. Urine is Steril unless it smells foul. If it smells like something is rotting then it is infected see a doctor. Otherwise it is clean you can touch it and drink it safely. Feces on the other hand is not safe. It is very bad for you. If you do play with feces you must wash with soap and water immediately after you play (That includes brushing teeth and mouth rinse). Do not eat. I say all this because there shouldn't be a fear of urine. A wet diaper can be very sexy for a DL. And you don't want to be worried about it if you going to put your mouth on his cock. I know for me the smell is a big turn on. Also know that of it does smell of is strong tasting then he isn't drinking enough water. I recommend at least 1.5 liters of water. Usually I'll drink more. Also if he is into messing and you don;t like the smell you can substitute feces with a few bananas.

Another fun thing to try if he is into using the diapers. Have him use then poke the cock out from the top. Slip the top of the diaper under the cock. Have intercourse. The weight of the diaper stuffing will fall down and hit your body during intercourse. Doggy style is exceptionally stimulating for clits that are sensitive.

Last but not least use the diaper for enhanced hand jobs. Take a diaper and put lots of lube to the outside of the plastic and wrap it around the cock and stroke. (try this on yourself You'll be very surprised how it feels promise!) One of my best orgasms came from putting on a diaper inside out with lube and some water (or pee) and rub.

If he is into cloth you can do all this as well. The plastic pants used are a lot of fun as well.

Hope these ideas help. Remember work with him. It make take a bit of communication because he probably is a bit hyper-focused in the beginning. Reassure him that it's sexy. Also expect and communicate that expectation that if you include diapers as part of the play for his benefit then he has to include your favorite wants needs and desires as well. A relationship is a two way street.

Kudos to you.