Wife Is Having A Hard Time With This...

[curiositykilledthecat]

buy a cat, they do the same thing and cost a whole lot less.

[Guest dllightning]

I am not forcing my wife to accept it. I just want her to accept me.

Diapers are on hold for awhile, but hopefully not indefinitely. She has been more open to talk about it or reference t in our conversations. So you probably will not see an update on this thread for awhile.

[superdiaperbaby]

If the husband cannot see or understand his wife's reaction, especially when he tells her when she is pregnant and going through her own emotional turmoil, then he is clearly not thinking in a conscientious or loving manner.

But i agree with diapers4liz, why is it the diaper wearers think the non diaper wearer has to be the one to change... why can't the diaper wearer be the one to change!

It shouldn't be that either party has to change or give up anything. That is not marriage, that is siblings. You should not change your partner or change yourself because your partner does not like you(diapers excluded of course). Marriage is a win-win situation or a lose-lose situation. There are no winners and losers. What that means is if the husband or wife feels bad and upset about having to give up diapers because they "lost" the other party should feel bad because they have made their soulmate feel bad. That is a lose-lose situation. A win-win situation is when one party feels good that the other party is happy despite the unacceptance. If diapers4liz was completely honest she would admit that she lost, was forced to change herself, feels dismayed and that it does affect her husband who should feel bad if he knew the extent at what she gave up. It is a lose-lose situation and resentment is for sure there. Resentment leads to fighting and fighting leads to unhappiness. Life is much better in a win-win situation instead of a "change for the other person" mentality.

SDB

[sparkylites]

What is a "purposed logo"? A logo with a purpose?

I should be a good boy and play nice. I think the word you are looking for is "proposed". I like your logo!

[Necare]

It shouldn't be that either party has to change or give up anything. That is not marriage, that is siblings. You should not change your partner or change yourself because your partner does not like you(diapers excluded of course). Marriage is a win-win situation or a lose-lose situation. There are no winners and losers. What that means is if the husband or wife feels bad and upset about having to give up diapers because they "lost" the other party should feel bad because they have made their soulmate feel bad. That is a lose-lose situation. A win-win situation is when one party feels good that the other party is happy despite the unacceptance. If diapers4liz was completely honest she would admit that she lost, was forced to change herself, feels dismayed and that it does affect her husband who should feel bad if he knew the extent at what she gave up. It is a lose-lose situation and resentment is for sure there. Resentment leads to fighting and fighting leads to unhappiness. Life is much better in a win-win situation instead of a "change for the other person" mentality.

SDB

Could not have said it better myself!! Right on the spot!

[sarah_ab]

isn't change good though? i've changed a lot since i met my boyfriend... i've given up old habbits and ways of living since i moved in with someone, i dont feel bad or dishonest about myself for having given up some things i used to do, or having changed certain habbits... Change isn't a bad thing, and making compromises and sometimes having to not engage in certain behaviors are not necessarily bad things.... sides there are more important things in life than diapers.

[Aurelius]

I'm a humble deist; I do not believe in any particular god or gods but fully support the idea of there being one. I'm not convinced we can know (how could we? It's simply above us).

Regardless of our spiritual side we are all with you and hope you can find a way to resolve this. It is really terrible waiting until your late 30s or 40s to find 'the one' and worse still to find they'll break up with you over something that is pretty trivial (anything a good partner is into, pretty much anything at all, I would allow and most likely play along with... tension or conflict in bed is one of the worst things that can happen since, like it or not, it is critical).

You're wearing a diaper? So what?!?

Consider how she would feel if you hadn't told her at all. She probably wouldn't know yet at all. Then let her consider how she would react if it weren't sexual. Probably she would sympathise. Lastly, have her consider that as a fetish there is actually very little you can do about it and that provided you are keeping it sensible and moderate there is nothing to really worry about (I assume you aren't going incontinent - this is going too far but just wearing carefully during the day and to sleep is no big deal). In doing so you will keep things transparent and honest - and it will be viewed as such on her part as well.

All you need to do is get her to accept, not engage. You can always agree to disagree on that and keep your fetish out of sexual activities. That's not so big - you will get what you want in sex (fundamentally), she will get what she wants and things can roll along.

This should all be straight forward enough. Try to get her to realise how trivial really everything is in life and how absurd it would be to break up when you can (especially with time) reach an agreement that both of you can work with. Remember with time (talking in the ~5 year term here) it will become second nature, as well

[Guest dllightning]

Sounds nice, maybe after some time this will happen. Right now I feel I am the most disgusting being on earth because I like to wear and use diapers.

I'm a humble deist; I do not believe in any particular god or gods but fully support the idea of there being one. I'm not convinced we can know (how could we? It's simply above us).

Regardless of our spiritual side we are all with you and hope you can find a way to resolve this. It is really terrible waiting until your late 30s or 40s to find 'the one' and worse still to find they'll break up with you over something that is pretty trivial (anything a good partner is into, pretty much anything at all, I would allow and most likely play along with... tension or conflict in bed is one of the worst things that can happen since, like it or not, it is critical).

You're wearing a diaper? So what?!?

Consider how she would feel if you hadn't told her at all. She probably wouldn't know yet at all. Then let her consider how she would react if it weren't sexual. Probably she would sympathise. Lastly, have her consider that as a fetish there is actually very little you can do about it and that provided you are keeping it sensible and moderate there is nothing to really worry about (I assume you aren't going incontinent - this is going too far but just wearing carefully during the day and to sleep is no big deal). In doing so you will keep things transparent and honest - and it will be viewed as such on her part as well.

All you need to do is get her to accept, not engage. You can always agree to disagree on that and keep your fetish out of sexual activities. That's not so big - you will get what you want in sex (fundamentally), she will get what she wants and things can roll along.

This should all be straight forward enough. Try to get her to realise how trivial really everything is in life and how absurd it would be to break up when you can (especially with time) reach an agreement that both of you can work with. Remember with time (talking in the ~5 year term here) it will become second nature, as well

[CBD]

Right now I feel I am the most disgusting being on earth because I like to wear and use diapers.

No significant other has a right to make their partner feel that way for any reason. Clearly, you are not the most disgusting being on Earth because there are nearly a quarter of a million users on DiaperSpace with the same desires as you. Moreover, you have been honest with her about something that is difficult to be honest about-- an act which is not only not disgusting, it is one of the most demanding and necessary exercises possible in maintaining a relationship. Furthermore, you are an out, constructive, well spoken member of that crowd of a quarter million whose methods of gratification are safe, sane, and consensual. Dan Savage, one of the most well respected public advocates in the field of sexual politics, often sites these qualities as the cornerstone of a good relationship, often following this by stating that we should all strive to be "good, giving, and game" for our partners. This, he explains, means good in bed, giving equal time and equal pleasure, and game for anything, within reason. This principal is usually abbreviated GGG, and it is basically the gospel by which healthy people conduct their sex lives. You need to let your wife know that you feel the way you do, and tell her that it is not fair or healthy for you to be made to go on feeling this way indefinitely. She needs to find another way of addressing her difficulties with this issue-- a way that is not abusive and emotionally damaging.