Archetypes

[BabyLex]

In any given genre of the human experience there exist a certain set of archetypes. As we have immortalized Shakespeare for his ability to elegantly capture what it means to be human through his dialog of love, fear, self-identification, unanswered longing, self-sacrifice, patriotism, revenge, etc, or perhaps we can look to the satirists of Chaucer, Voltaire, and Swift (among others) to understand the bottomless glass for quaffing the less desirable aspects of humanity that, nevertheless we, ourselves, embody. Or perhaps a reader can look to the conflict between Rand, Marx, and Keynes, to see how torn we are in terms of our values and virtues, or perhaps analyze the conflagrations that have occurred over the centuries regarding sex and sexuality, gender, and power. The themes seem endless and hence the development of universal archetypes that we all can identify with as a part of being human.

But then, we still find ourselves somewhat isolated, distanced, and even, to some extent, alone. We are those with an esoteric interest that can be oversimplified by labels such as 'fetish', 'interest', or perhaps even 'lifestyle'. And within the limited number that find themselves a part of the AB/DL community we find even further distinction amidst ABs , DLs, furries, mommies, daddies, partial ABs/partial DLs, incontinent individuals who wear out of necessity, etc. It seems difficult to identify common aspects to sum total of our community.

However, there, regardless, exist specific archetypes that are unique to those of us who enjoy diapers. Things unique to our community that few outside of it would understand. A few I'd like to put forth are:

* Learning that we are not 'the only one' who enjoy wearing diapers

* Coming out to a lover or spouse about our interest in diapers

* Wanting to know more about diapers/baby things

* Living dual lives (our ABDL lives closeted from our Normal lives)

* Hiding our lifestyle from parents, friends, etc

* Wanting to wear our diapers amidst the public

* Desiring to meet others like ourselves for the sake of friendships, relationships, knowing that we are not alone

* Wanting to meet someone who will fulfill a missing part of us (i.e. if we like being a baby, finding a mommy/daddy figure).

I'm curious what other archetypes you can think of that relate to all of us. (i.e. if there was there was to exist a Bard of the AB/DL world, what archetypes would they imagine that we'd all believe spoke directly to us...) I'd love to hear them.

--Lex

[BitterGrey]

I'm curious what other archetypes you can think of that relate to all of us. (i.e. if there was there was to exist a Bard of the AB/DL world, what archetypes would they imagine that we'd all believe spoke directly to us...) I'd love to hear them.

It isn't quite an archetype, but one effect of our uncommon childhood is a lack of confidence our ability to gauge what is common.

For example, consider the case of an AB/DL in the break room with coworkers. The subject of stuffed animals comes up. The AB/DL might hesitate, not wanting to share too much. The other coworkers would share about their stuffed animals, accepting them as ordinary. In turn, the AB/DL might mention his own stuffed animals as well. Of course, the AB/DL would leave out some details. For example, he might not mention that he is still getting new stuffed animals, and that he snuggles with them regularly.

(Of course, the thought of a 'common' childhood might be a matter of convention. Our culture might have collectively agreed on what a common childhood would include, even though nobody really had one.)

When do things stop being part of the uncommon AB/DL experience and start being a common part of childhood? This is something we might be less clear on, since many of us had uncommon childhoods. This uncertainty might be a property that we share.

[MysticChild]

The interesting list that Babylex presented in the first post are clearly common aspects of the AB experience; but I do not believe they are archetypes in the Jungian sense of the term.

I will identify four archetypes that I think are functionally operative in all AB play. Usually I use the term "AB/DL" play to refer to those of us who derive some sort of benefit from wearing diapers. For purposes of this post I will refer only to AB play andKeep in mind as you read this that all individuals have male and female aspects. Therefore reference to gender is designating a functional role in the archetype and not the gender status of a specific individual.

The first archetype is the “sage child

[lynniehyde]

The interesting list that Babylex presented in the first post are clearly common aspects of the AB experience; but I do not believe they are archetypes in the Jungian sense of the term.

I will identify four archetypes that I think are functionally operative in all AB play. Usually I use the term "AB/DL" play to refer to those of us who derive some sort of benefit from wearing diapers. For purposes of this post I will refer only to AB play andKeep in mind as you read this that all individuals have male and female aspects. Therefore reference to gender is designating a functional role in the archetype and not the gender status of a specific individual.

The first archetype is the “sage child

[Inky_Wonky]

Well there are some:

1. Due to medical reasons have found a way to enjoy them. It's also nice when they require family members or caretakers who change them.

2. Due to being a bedwetter find the comfort and feel of a diaper far better than normal underwear.

Then there are others:

The toddler or Babyish look suit them just fine.

Women get away with it much more than men do - especially baby dolls or pigtails for their hair.

Men might get by through wearing their favorite Disney or other Cartoon characters - but then you have these looks from other men about how out of place it looks.

Is this what you were getting at?

[sarah_ab]

However, there, regardless, exist specific archetypes that are unique to those of us who enjoy diapers. Things unique to our community that few outside of it would understand. A few I'd like to put forth are:

* Learning that we are not 'the only one' who enjoy wearing diapers

* Coming out to a lover or spouse about our interest in diapers

* Wanting to know more about diapers/baby things

* Living dual lives (our ABDL lives closeted from our Normal lives)

* Hiding our lifestyle from parents, friends, etc

* Wanting to wear our diapers amidst the public

* Desiring to meet others like ourselves for the sake of friendships, relationships, knowing that we are not alone

* Wanting to meet someone who will fulfill a missing part of us (i.e. if we like being a baby, finding a mommy/daddy figure).

Reading this makes me feel even more like an outside in this community.

While i understand everyone wants to feel accepted and find a 'group' they belong to, labeling 'common experiences' such as this list can actually seek to ostracize others like myself.

I never learned i was 'the only one' because i learned about this from an ad/dl website.

I never 'came out' to a lover or spouse.

I never needed to 'know more' about diapers or baby things, how can you not know about baby things, just go to any drug store and walk down the baby aisly.

. I do not live a 'dual life' but rather i have a well balanced life in which i keep some things private, and share other things, just like almost everyone does.

I have never 'hidden' this lifestyle from friends and family, unless you count keeping certain things private hiding, which it certainly is not.

I have no desire to wear amongst the public, however i have done it for my daddy.

I have no real desire to meet other ab/dl's in real life

The only one i met, is wanting to find someone to fill a void... but this one is not unique to the ab/dl world in the least, but rather is unique to the human world.

And also i agree these are most definitely not archetypes in the jungian sense.

I guess i just wanted to let people know, and to make people aware, just because you have had a certain experience and are ab/dl does not mean everyone has had that experience who is ab/dl. Please remember there are so many of us out here, that a list is not going to even begin to describe us. I think one of the only true commonalities that large majority of us share is that in some way we wear or interact with people who wear diapers.

[tenderheart]

* Learning that we are not 'the only one' who enjoy wearing diapers

* Coming out to a lover or spouse about our interest in diapers

* Wanting to know more about diapers/baby things

* Living dual lives (our ABDL lives closeted from our Normal lives)

* Hiding our lifestyle from parents, friends, etc

* Wanting to wear our diapers amidst the public

* Desiring to meet others like ourselves for the sake of friendships, relationships, knowing that we are not alone

* Wanting to meet someone who will fulfill a missing part of us (i.e. if we like being a baby, finding a mommy/daddy figure).

While this may not be a list of archetypes for AB/DL in general I must say I relate to almost all of them except wanting to meet someone who will fill a missing part of oneself. For a long time I thought I was some kind of isolated freak for the desires I had. I remember being 13 or 14 buying pullups and wearing them because I loved they way that they felt and I had not idea that others found the same thing enjoyable. It was very lonely, I can also say I investigated babyish things not long after that as well.

As far as living dual lives, until recently no one I knew I was a AB or had any idea or my desires. I was terrified I would lose everyone I cared for if they knew. I did see myself as a freak because of the desires I have. I didn't believe anyone could love me if they knew.

I did wear out in public because it felt naughty I confess

I also still want to meet other AB/DL to play with.

But these things are all personal desires. The proximity of these desires to my own leads me to believe I am far from the only person to experience these feelings and that brings me some comfort believe it or not.

I do have to hand it to lex for making a thought provoking and worthwhile thread. Kudo's and thanx.

----Peace kidd

[diapermommie]

So, I have to agree with Sarah. I don't feel left out based on the list that Lex started, but I don't really meet those qualifications in the manner described. I don't tell my parents/friends/coworkers etc about my sex life, why would I tell them other things I do in private that they have no need to know? I never needed to research baby things, but I suspect this is because I babysat and was around small kids alot and those things were always there. I never really had to do a coming out sort of thing, my then-boyfriend did the hard part of that, my part of it came easy. Just because you don't share everything doesn't make it hiding.

This isn't meant to incite a riot or anything, but sometimes people on here think WAY TOO MUCH about their diapers, the ABDL in them, whatever. Not everything in life needs to be completely figured out. Everyone has their quirks, you don't know what your neighbor across the hall does in his spare time, you wouldn't suspect, you don't worry about it or think about it. So why worry about or think about what other people think you might be doing?

I know sometimes you'll be sitting and reading or in the shower and thoughts pop into your head, and sometimes it helps to write them down, at least for me. But sometimes all the theories that people put out and the scientific manner they go about discussing their abdl (or whatever variation) are just overboard. I know you feel different and ackward. But so does the guy who gets off thinking about choking his wife, the people who like watersports, the people men who like to wear women's panties, the girl who has non-consent fantasies...they all feel weird about their preferences when they compare themselves to the rest of the world. But who cares. The more you analyze and over-think it, the more you're going to question it.

I don't know when, or how or why I got into baby stuff. I remember being a young teenager and keeping a paci in my coat pocket. I remember driving an hour to kmart in order to buy them so no one in my home town would see me by them. Not because I felt like a freak but because I didn't want people to think I was pregnant...buying baby things and all. Sure I knew some of the things I wanted to try or thought about weren't standard, but I never cared, either. I never had this huge desire to be like everyone else, nor the desire to talk to everyone about just what made me feel different. The opportunity to bring it up arose, so I brought it up. I had the easy end of that conversation. We talked about it for a bit, and then stopped. We don't question why we like what we like. We just do it, and enjoy it. Why analyze it, it's just a waste of time. In my opinion anyhow.

Then again there is a reason I hated psychology...not everything can be put into a category and studied.

[BabyLex]

Reading this makes me feel even more like an outside in this community.

Sorry things came accross that way Sarah, it was not the intention.

Just to re-iterate and clarify: my goal was to ask the question of what themes are both unique and pervade the lives of many AB/DLs. I was using "archetype" in the literary versus the Jungian sense. (although they may, in fact, be related, but that's best saved for a separate conversation. (especially considering Jung's definition of archetype found it's original roots in Platonic ideas (pure mental forms embossed into the soul before birth). The concept of actualisation and complexes may also be relevant from Jung's discussion of 'maternal archetypes' (specifically as they related to a large section of ABs), however whether the basis is cognitive, behavioral, innate or a result of conditioning is beyond the scope of the topic I was suggesting.).

Further, the few themes I'd suggested were meant to begin a conversation versus be viewed as a set in stone rules which designated borders to determine who was 'in' or 'out'. Ideally constructive conversation would reveal a more focussed list. (It's the common difficulty of illustrating a concept and then providing examples: some prefer to focus on the specific details of the example(s) versus the principle concept(s) embodied by said example(s).)

We all have our differences, just as we have with all of humanity, and perhaps there is no common theme that permeates our AB/DL experiences. However, given that we've sought out the company of those like ourselves (as evidenced by participation on these boards), I'm curious what the underlying uniting themes are.

Those who came before us spawned information about having thoughts and feelings similar to our own, whether those ideas are documented in literature, psychology, music, or postings on boards about people who like to wear diapers. They've considered, analyzed, and discussed commonalities, uniting themes, and experiences and authored them into a cohesive form that we can appreciate and learn from. In addition to their own knowledge and understanding which gave them a greater sense of enlightenment they've provided a more clear picture for others.

This is one of the things we can do as a community. We can help ourselves and others who are seeking information and understanding. Wouldn't it be interesting to know more, or to make it easier for someone else who's having a hard time in life because they don't know more about themselves? Given that this concept is hardly unique to any one specific group, and rather pervades the human experience, wouldn't it be neat to apply similar energies to understanding the commonalities we AB/DLs share?

Curious what your thoughts are.

--Lex

[lynniehyde]

It isn't quite an archetype, but one effect of our uncommon childhood is a lack of confidence our ability to gauge what is common.

For example, consider the case of an AB/DL in the break room with coworkers. The subject of stuffed animals comes up. The AB/DL might hesitate, not wanting to share too much. The other coworkers would share about their stuffed animals, accepting them as ordinary. In turn, the AB/DL might mention his own stuffed animals as well. Of course, the AB/DL would leave out some details. For example, he might not mention that he is still getting new stuffed animals, and that he snuggles with them regularly.

(Of course, the thought of a 'common' childhood might be a matter of convention. Our culture might have collectively agreed on what a common childhood would include, even though nobody really had one.)

When do things stop being part of the uncommon AB/DL experience and start being a common part of childhood? This is something we might be less clear on, since many of us had uncommon childhoods. This uncertainty might be a property that we share.

BG,

So many of us suffer from self-doubt, self-criticism and so-forth. The day we can free ourselves from this, will be an awakening. Your posts are the best among the best, here. Common childhood? Dream on. Diaperhood may not be common, but it is becoming more and more evident, that many share our desires and longings. We are at the vanguard. Let's not let them down. I know you won't. Nor shall I.

Cuddles,

--heidilynn

[lynniehyde]

So, are you a diapered mommy? Or a diaper mommy?

Cuddles,

--heidilynn

[diapermommie]

lol I am both an ABDL myself (heavier on the AB than the DL, but both none the less) and mommy to my husband...though I don't particularly like using that term. Most likely because we have kids and my relationship with them is clearly much different than the one with my husband. As the DL portion of the 2 of us is largely sexual. But for the terms of understanding here, mommy is the roll I play considering I change him and dress him up in his cute lil monkey onesie and other such things.

[lynniehyde]

lol I am both an ABDL myself (heavier on the AB than the DL, but both none the less) and mommy to my husband...though I don't particularly like using that term. Most likely because we have kids and my relationship with them is clearly much different than the one with my husband. As the DL portion of the 2 of us is largely sexual. But for the terms of understanding here, mommy is the roll I play considering I change him and dress him up in his cute lil monkey onesie and other such things.

At any rate, it sounds like you're havin' fun. That's the point, ain't it?

Cuddles,

--heidilynn