Corrupt-a-wish

[Eir]

Granted, you are now a Mexican Superhero, dressing in banana yellow, lime green, and cherry red. You are Zorro, the gay blade. You have flambouyant humor.

I wish I wont pee my pants with laughter.

[underwhere]

Granted. You will not pee your pants with laughter. Instead, you poop your pants, and have to clean up after yourself.

I hope that the smell of the poop isn't too strong for terryfighter.

[Eir]

Nope. It sends me waddling to a dominant mommy who will change me.

I want this to happen in real life.

[Pangaea]

Nope. It sends me waddling to a dominant mommy who will change me.

I want this to happen in real life.

Granted: you now poop your pants with each laughter, but you will also laugh at least once a minute, and your mother force-changes you each time.

I wish I wasn't so insecure (don't we all, though...).

[WBDaddy]

Granted. You are now so overconfident that you convince yourself you can survive a free-fall off the Hoover Dam. Suffice to say, this doesn't go well for you.

I wish my next granted wish doesn't end in my death.

[underwhere]

Granted. You will not die. Instead, you will suffer an extremely painful incurable disease which is not expected to have any effect on your life expectancy.

I hope WBDaddy gets a good therapist to deal with that kind of pain.

[Bonsai]

Wish granted, the therapist totally manages to convince WBDaddy that the pain is bearable, but his cost dries up all WBDaddy's bank account.

I wish we all had to wear a telepatic device that can cause temporary regression and alert the "Baby police" in case the wearer is thinking to violate the law. Regression degree is proportional to the gravity of the crime, of course

[underwhere]

Granted. However, in the confusion that ensues, it is not clear whether regression is to be a punishment or a reward. As a result, the regression telepathic device causes all wearers of such device to become psychologically and legally insane, and at least one of them decides to take revenge by killing Bonsai.

I wish that Bonsai will have sufficient protection to prevent any of those people from actually killing him.

[Eir]

Granted, Bonsai gets a personal force shield designed by the ancients. The problem is that he cannot eat or drink while the shield is activated, and it is activated as long as his subconscious perceives danger.

I wish Rodney Mckay will show him how to turn off the shield.

[PeculiarChangeling]

Granted. But, unfortunately, doing this makes Bonsai permanently think he is in a state of calm and no threat, since that is the only way to turn it off. Needless to say, he is finally assassinated.

I wish I was a Mexican Superhero, dressing in banana yellow, lime green, and cherry red, named Zorro, the gay blade, and to have flamboyant humor.

[underwhere]

Granted. All of that is true. Unfortunately, that is only because you imagined it after engaging in LSD usage, and you have some really bad trips after the fact.

I wish there were no negative side effects to drugs.

[BabyJune]

GRANTED: But then the drugs would stop doing what they're supposed to do.

I wish they'd quit advertising drugs (legal ones) on TV and lower the prices of prescriptions.

[Eir]

Granted, but now candy requires a prescription, which really sucks.

I wish I could get diarrhea diapers without people noticing!

[underwhere]

Granted. You are banished to a deserted island, so the only person who would notice would be you.

I wish I had bionic limbs, allowing me to accurately reach for things at a great distance.

[Eir]

Granted, but you are assimilated and lose your individuality.

I wish it were possible to make obnoxious telemarketers speak to sell to eachother!

[underwhere]

Granted. Obnoxious telemarketers sell to each other, but nobody is buying. As a result, all telemarketers get laid off.

I wish for terryfighter to personally pay all of their unemployment checks.

[Eir]

I scoff, write them checks for .0000000000000000000000000001 cents each, and tell them to go frack themselves.

I wish commander Adama can pay the bill.

[pullupsboy89]

Granted. Adama pays the bills, but sells you out to the cylons.

I wish people would quit complaining so much and actually try to fix their problems

[Eir]

^That was a bit rude. I am a graduate student, that is why I am poor right now. I am technically fixing my problems.

I wish people would stop assuming the poor are lazy.

[BabyJune]

GRANTED: People simply ignore the poor as if they don't exist, and all the lazy people get jealous from lack of attention.

I wish I had a month where I could sew all I wanted to every day.

[underwhere]

Granted, but in your absent-mindedness, you sew yourself up and become completely mummified.

I wish that BabyJune doesn't prick himself with a needle in the process.

[Eir]

Granted, but he pricks you instead!

I wish I was not over weight.

[underwhere]

Granted. You are not overweight. Now you are morbidly obese.

I wish I had a starring role in a blockbuster movie so I could gain royalties for the performance and never have to work again.

[BabyJune]

GRANTED: But the costume and makeup you have to wear is so uncomfortable that you never want to do another movie.

I wish I could spend a full day as a cute little toddler girl--diapers and all.

[PeculiarChangeling]

Granted. But there's nobody to take care of you, so when you inevitably soil your diapers you get a terrible rash and you are hungry all day.

I wish I could master Lucid dreaming...