Corrupt-a-wish

[freswith]

Fortunately the dungeon at the bottom survived intact, and the Department of Works had a very large supply of strong deodorant of the type they use for Members of Parliament, and once again Freswith comes up smelling of roses. Julia is not so lucky, but then she never is. Still, she enjoyed her stretch in the Tower.

I wish Julia a sweet and loving nature.

(now corrupt that!)

[Lawson_akira]

she does, but then she goes crazy from to much sweet and lovingness and kills you

i wish that i could be diapered 24/7 with nobody having a problem with it:D

[dave_the_baby]

Granted- you are diapered 24/7 and nobody has a problem with it. You lose all adult privelleges and you are sentenced to live like a baby 24/7 with a very ugly nanny who smells like Brocoli.

I wish I didn't have to eat vegetables. >.<

[Prudie]

Granted, and you develop a disease in which vegetables would be the best thing for you; but as you always react to vegetables with a failure to digest resulting in vomit, your illness only worsens and you find yourself spiraling to an unhappy death.

I wish the French Revolution, take one, had never occurred.

[freswith]

Granted. Inspired by your loyalty, King Louis XXIII sends you a gift of 350 different cheeses. You eat them, and suffer a heart attack.

I wish we could get rid of Monday mornings.

[Prudie]

Granted. On what should have been the next Monday morning, the world falls into a black abyss that kills us all.

I wish my brother would stop calling me every day out of what he says is a worry that I will forget about him.

[Lawson_akira]

he stops calling you every day but then u get so worried about him u phone him every minute for the rest of ur life

i wish there would make a new series of jonathon creek

[underwhere]

Granted: They make a new series of Jonathon Creek, but since nobody but you watched the first episode, it is pulled off the air and replaced with episodes of Barney.

I wish that the very mention of Barney doesn't drive the person corruting this wish too insane. (He's such a nice purple dinosaur, after all.)

[freswith]

Granted. it doesn't drive me TOO insane. I am quite content to be an enormous Arcturan tree frog, and can easily acommodate the idea of a purple talking dinosaur. It just means that I have had enough to drink for that evening.

I wish that someone would bring back the heroes of my childhood.

[ultrapampers]

Granted: I bring back Pee-wee Herman, but he ends up stalking you, tries frequently to fondle you in public, and you can't make him go away.

I wish people on eBay would lean to read item descriptions thoroughly before they bid.

[dave_the_baby]

Granted- people on eBay begin reading item descriptions. However, because people know what everything is, they decide not to buy anything because they know they're being hustled, and eBay falls to the dust.

I wish technology would actually improve existing features instead of adding new ones.

[freswith]

Granted. We finally develop the perfect sedan chair.

I wish politicians would start telling the truth.

[FretaBWet]

Granted: The first truth they tell us is that the government and all the people except politicians are bankrupt.

I wish I was a politician.

[ultrapampers]

Granted: You're a politician. Trouble is, you're always "taking to the diaper" (filibustering).

I wish some people would bid on my vintage diaper auctions.

[acemanner]

Granted: Your vintage diaper auctions have become so popular that several major world powers plan to assassinate you , steal the diapers , and sell them themselves to get rid of the US budget defecit!

Wish: I wish that I wasen't so depressed and emo , especially the emo part.

[FretaBWet]

Granted: you're no longer depressed and emo. Now you're just Elmo from Sesame Street and you have someone's hand up your butt.

I wish UPS would deliver a case of Bambinos to my door by mistake.

[ultrapampers]

Granted: you're no longer depressed and emo. Now you're just Elmo from Sesame Street and you have someone's hand up your butt.

Thank you, Freta; that had me ROTFLing.

I wish UPS would deliver a case of Bambinos to my door by mistake.

Granted: UPS delivers a whole case full of Bambinos to your door, but they're already wet and dirty!

I wish I was back in New Zealand.

[freswith]

Granted. The citizens of North Carolina club together and buy you a one-way ticket back to New Zealand. Unfortunately it is a cut-price ticket and so you have to travel on the roof of the aeroplane, Indian-style.

I wish I had a Paris Hilton water-bottle for my bed.

[attends_99]

Granted you get a Paris Hilton water bottle only to find that it is a) bottomless and has a leak which you cannot stop. In the ensuing flood you drown.

I wish a beautiful woman would show up at my door and do unspeakable things to me.

[Juliabam]

Granted you get a Paris Hilton water bottle only to find that it is a) bottomless and has a leak which you cannot stop. In the ensuing flood you drown.

I wish a beautiful woman would show up at my door and do unspeakable things to me.

Granted the most gorgeous woman you have ever seen comes to your door and does unspeakable things to you, but to make this a little funny, I speak about the things anyways. First she will rip all your clothes oof, and start picking each hair on your body out one by one, starting with the hairs in your buttcrack and from there moving upwards, after that, she knits a sweater of the hairs, and forces you to wear it outside with no clothes to cover you. She takes you to a reastaurant, and forces you to eat the sweater with a lot of Worchester sauce to make it sink easier, and the forces you to walk backwards home. She the takes a bucket of heny, and spreads it all over you, and then rolls you in sugar before she puts you out to dry. *Once you're dry she will sell you as a candyman at the nearest candystore. Right before she leaves you after the sale, she will poke you in the eye and say HAH...

Unfortunately because I spoke of the unspeakable, and I guess I understand why it was, the whole thing is never gonna happen..

I wish more people would speak of the unspeakable...

[babykeiff]

Granted the most gorgeous woman you have ever seen comes to your door and does unspeakable things to you, but to make this a little funny, I speak about the things anyways. First she will rip all your clothes oof, and start picking each hair on your body out one by one, starting with the hairs in your buttcrack and from there moving upwards, after that, she knits a sweater of the hairs, and forces you to wear it outside with no clothes to cover you. She takes you to a reastaurant, and forces you to eat the sweater with a lot of Worchester sauce to make it sink easier, and the forces you to walk backwards home. She the takes a bucket of heny, and spreads it all over you, and then rolls you in sugar before she puts you out to dry. *Once you're dry she will sell you as a candyman at the nearest candystore. Right before she leaves you after the sale, she will poke you in the eye and say HAH...

Unfortunately because I spoke of the unspeakable, and I guess I understand why it was, the whole thing is never gonna happen..

I wish more people would speak of the unspeakable...

granted - but after 1 day, the goverment bans free speech.

I wish that people were more tollerant of each other.

[freswith]

I wish that people were more tollerant of each other.

Granted. People become more tolerant of each other; unfortunately the tolerance extends to performing a variety of horrible bodily functions in the street and the pavements become fouls and slippery with excreta.

I wish we had a lot less government in this country:

http://www.telegraph...ppy-family.html

[acemanner]

Granted. The government is practically non-existent. Everything is fine at first, but slowly but surely the world falls into chaos. America has become the next Somalia.

I wish instead of just imagining "walking in someone Else's shoes , we could just switch bodies with them

[ultrapampers]

Granted: You switch bodies with Stephen Hawking. Hey, at least you have cute nurses pushing you around in your fancy wheelchair.

I wish I had more coffee this morning. And more jazz.

[babykeiff]

...

I wish I had more coffee this morning. And more jazz.

Granted, but as coffee is a natural laxative, you end messing your pants, and you have no diaper on. Since this happens in public, medical staff are called, and you are admitted to hospital. A mistake causes you to have a reaction to the medication so you loose your mind and end up in a hospice, in diapers and unable to move / communicate but fully aware of everrything that is happening to you but incapable of doing anything to help. Eventually, your family, due to your condition, think that you cant understand and induce death.

I wish human nature changed so that real democracy worked, rather than the pseudo dictatorship that we are all forced to endure