I Feel Like

[BabyThorp]

I made this poll because I am curious if I'm the only one. I came to this board and felt like it was really neat. But after experiencing it for a while I have a different thought. It seems a little bit mean spirited. In my world babies don't act like that. I'm going to be perfectly honest with you. The tears are dripping from my eyes as I type this. I hope that those of you who are so inclined can put the mean spirit on the shelf for a little while and help me figure this out. I don't feel like an adult. Those of you who are Trans probably know what I'm talking about. I feel trapped. I don't feel like a fetish. I don't feel sexual but at times that is part of this for me. I feel like a small boy...a very small boy trapped in the big adult body. My life with my parent makes me happy. Very happy. Please don't tell me it's sick, unhealthy, or anything else mean. Babies aren't supposed to be mean. Please be the best a baby you can be. Help me with this poll.

Baby

[beallucanb]

Yo know not everybody here is mean, if you want to talk or something you can always PM if you don't want to talk on the forum.

Just wanted you to know that ....B

[BabyThorp]

Yo know not everybody here is mean, if you want to talk or something you can always PM if you don't want to talk on the forum.

Just wanted you to know that ....B

Thanks but I can't PM. It's a form of email according to mommy. I know that not everyone is mean. I also think that I've contributed to the negative atmosphere at times. But if we can all just think like babies we will be ok. I wish I could figure out a way to privately talk to you because I think I would learn from it.

Baby

[BabyThorp]

I hope everyone knows...maybe not...that you can vote for more than one item.

[Codymoogle]

I made this poll because I am curious if I'm the only one. I came to this board and felt like it was really neat. But after experiencing it for a while I have a different thought. It seems a little bit mean spirited. In my world babies don't act like that. I'm going to be perfectly honest with you. The tears are dripping from my eyes as I type this. I hope that those of you who are so inclined can put the mean spirit on the shelf for a little while and help me figure this out. I don't feel like an adult. Those of you who are Trans probably know what I'm talking about. I feel trapped. I don't feel like a fetish. I don't feel sexual but at times that is part of this for me. I feel like a small boy...a very small boy trapped in the big adult body. My life with my parent makes me happy. Very happy. Please don't tell me it's sick, unhealthy, or anything else mean. Babies aren't supposed to be mean. Please be the best a baby you can be. Help me with this poll.

Baby

BabyThorp,

You know where I stand and that I'm just like you, a baby. I know the feeling. I feel out of place on every ABDL board I go to because I feel I'm not understood...You're not alone.

*big hugs*

~ moogle

PS: Since your PM's are now blocked, I will have to tell you on the boards that if you wish to contact me in some way (I wouldn't know how you could, but maybe if your Mommy allows) I'd be more than happy to talk with you.

[babyvr6]

I don't really fit into any of those categories. I would say I'm AB as an escape from having to be everyones rock to lean on. I guess also because Growing up I was always pushed to be perfect and succeed at everything and thats not who I am.*sigh*I'm not perfect but I'm perfectly me.

Alerek

[enfant]

I don't really fit any either, though I clicked some of them because they weren't too far off. I don't feel that I am a baby; I'm a grownup and like it that way... but I do feel, sometimes very strongly and sometimes less so, that there's a baby personality that's a part of me.

There's a theory that everyone's personality is really sort of a committee--lots of different thoughts and ideas and voices mixing together into the overall sense of self. Maybe everyone has a babyish part of their personality, an "inner child" that's part of their mental committee. But in my case it's a very pushy and demanding committee-member and it insists on being in charge sometimes.

Baby Thorp, I'm sorry you feel put-upon here and that people have been mean-spirited. I wish you would recognize that when people say "that's unhealthy" what they really mean is "that scares me", and it's an expression of concern, not dislike.

[Knuxie Fawks]

I like "cubbing out". I'm not a baby foxie all the time, because I have to work and pay bills and stuff, but it's very relaxing and emotionally healing for me. I was abused as a child, and this is a comfort thing for me. Since I started wearing diapers, I stopped having nightmares, I've had fewer accidents, and I feel more comfortable with who I am. I love when I have time to be a baby foxie, and it feels good to just let go. Half the time, I'm so relaxed I don't even feel myself going potty in my diaper until after I've already started. I don't know if that's a psychological thing, but if I'm not comfortable or alone, then I don't use my diaper, or even wear it. I have to be perfectly comfortable with it. For me, it's a completely non-sexual thing. I'm in no way even interested in sex. It's not a turn on. I don't get hard from it. For me, it's NOT a fetish. At least, not in the way most people think of fetishes.

[Toddy]

I feel out of place on every ABDL board I go to because I feel I'm not understood...

I agree with that sentiment too. I'll bet a lot of folks do for a myriad of reasons.

I have been this way (wearing diapers) my whole 38 years on this earth; most of it feeling (like most, if not all of us have) like a freak. So many years of hiding, worrying, and the turmoil that goes along with it takes its toll... on practically everybody. Actually I'll drop the "practically", and go with a simple "on everybody".

Nobody is like me. Nobody is like you. But, we both long to find that person that we can share thoughts and feelings that have been bottled-up. Even a simple online friendship, huh? Sounds simple, doesn't it...

[tenderheart]

I agree with that sentiment too. I'll bet a lot of folks do for a myriad of reasons.

I have been this way (wearing diapers) my whole 38 years on this earth; most of it feeling (like most, if not all of us have) like a freak. So many years of hiding, worrying, and the turmoil that goes along with it takes its toll... on practically everybody. Actually I'll drop the "practically", and go with a simple "on everybody".

Nobody is like me. Nobody is like you. But, we both long to find that person that we can share thoughts and feelings that have been bottled-up. Even a simple online friendship, huh? Sounds simple, doesn't it...

I think everyone wants someone to share experiences with. To find a sense of empathy and understanding with someone . I don't know you, but I can understand at least a few of your desires. That is why communities like this are something special to me. *hugs*

[Baby Bethany]

I remember all those lonely years when I thought I was the only person alive who liked this, I would dress up and enjoy it and then spend the next few days feeling guilty because I thought I must be some freak that secretly wears girls clothes and home made diapers. I had heard of guys that dressed up as women, but had never heard of any boys my age wanting to wear a diaper. I would hide my stuff in my room, and go to school only to spend all day worrying whether it was all hidden well enough......would my mom find it?

I would get so fed up and depressed at times that I would wait until my mom went to work and would then put all my stash in a rubbish bag and leave it out for collection. I would feel really great, like "yes, no more of that for me" and then on my way home from school that same night I would feel myself needing to go in the stores and look at the girls clothes or baby items again.

During those dark times I wanted just one thing, to find another person who liked this. I didn't care if they were male, female, young, or old. I just wanted to know I wasn't a freak and alone. Well times changed and eventually along came the Internet, and well the rest is history.

Now any of us can speak to any number of people in the community, any time of day or night. What a tragedy it would be if we only used it to fight each other.

Beth

[Guest Mandi Danielle]

I voted on two things because they were the only things that fit. I could begin to vote on a few others, but being a female, they weren't geared towards me.

[sarah_ab]

You know, its interesting, the very feelings of being alone, isolated, of guilt over being the only one etc.. is the very thing that so many in this community have in common and seems to unite people in a sense of comraderie (butchered that spelling i think).

It seems so many people are so wrapped up in their own feelings they dont stop to pause and realize, wow all these people here are just like me. I must not be as alone as i thought.

I dont mean this in any bad way, just wanted to point out to all of you who feel alone, or guilty, or scared, or anything like that, if you take a moment to read the majority of these posts, you'll find you are most certainly not the only person feeling that. Take comfort in the knowledge there are hundreds and thousands of people who are just where you are, or have been where you have been, and have triumphed, and come out just fine.

Its a good thing, a very great thing, to hear that despite traumatic pasts events, some more recent than others, people are still finding their way here, to discover they are not as alone as they may have thought, and to hopefully heal from their wounds and move on with the knowledge there are others just like them out there who understand and can help support them. Can offer advice and warnings, and bring their own experience to the table.

Just wanted to through that out there, in case people hadn't realized they aren't as alone as they thought they were. I know sometimes in our hurry to lend our own experience andstory to a post we dont really read what the other person is saying, we dont really understand just how similiar their experience is to our own.

[BriGuy]

You know, its interesting, the very feelings of being alone, isolated, of guilt over being the only one etc.. is the very thing that so many in this community have in common and seems to unite people in a sense of comraderie (butchered that spelling i think).

It seems so many people are so wrapped up in their own feelings they dont stop to pause and realize, wow all these people here are just like me. I must not be as alone as i thought.

I dont mean this in any bad way, just wanted to point out to all of you who feel alone, or guilty, or scared, or anything like that, if you take a moment to read the majority of these posts, you'll find you are most certainly not the only person feeling that. Take comfort in the knowledge there are hundreds and thousands of people who are just where you are, or have been where you have been, and have triumphed, and come out just fine.

Its a good thing, a very great thing, to hear that despite traumatic pasts events, some more recent than others, people are still finding their way here, to discover they are not as alone as they may have thought, and to hopefully heal from their wounds and move on with the knowledge there are others just like them out there who understand and can help support them. Can offer advice and warnings, and bring their own experience to the table.

Just wanted to through that out there, in case people hadn't realized they aren't as alone as they thought they were. I know sometimes in our hurry to lend our own experience andstory to a post we dont really read what the other person is saying, we dont really understand just how similiar their experience is to our own.

I agree with you totally on this one Sarah. The community starts to fray a little bit when we try and isolate ourselves from each other. Lest we forget we all have very similar, very common interests. Albeit there are some fundamental differences, reasons, or desires it all pretty much centers around the same thing, wearing diapers as an adult. Being part of this community and finding out there are other people who also march to the beat of a different drummer was both a relief and a god sent for me. It helped me understand that I was not the only freak out there and I can be a functioning adult despite these desires. I am very thankful for what Daily Di has provided for us and I am very thankful for Tommy to have created DPF in the early years. My goal in this whole mess of confusion and guilt that is so very commonly associated with lifestyle is to bring about awareness and the feeling of acceptance. If I can provide to one person the feeling like they are welcome and it is ok to be this way; then I have repaid the debt I feel for so many others who made me feel that way in the beginning.

As for me I don't feel any of the options fit me for the poll. I couldn't tell you WHY I feel the way I do, or where it came from, or why I do what I do. All I know is that I feel a little better, a little more at peace, and a little less overwhelmed with life when I get the chance to act like a toddler. For me it doesn't even have to be the act of pretending to be young to make me feel this way, just the sheer fact that I put a diaper on brings this feeling about for me.

~Brian

[BabyThorp]

I voted on two things because they were the only things that fit. I could begin to vote on a few others, but being a female, they weren't geared towards me.

I'm sorry to you and others who couldn't quite find the right fit. I tried to make it as complete as I could but without question I didn't cover all of the possible ways one can feel. Anyone who would like to, it would be helpful if you just made up your own fit or tell me/us how you feel. I am really grateful to all that have done the poll and left posts so far. I am amazed at the results.

[beachxbunni123]

I don't really fit in with the categories either since it's a mix of both. I can see how transexuals can feel trapped because everyone is born the gender of being either a boy or girl. I don't understand how someone could feel the same way about being trapped as a baby inside an adult body because I think being a baby is a physical stage like a tadpole to a frog. Maybe you're trapped with the idea of being psychologically a baby. If you ever can talk I'd be happy to talk with you

[ah3908]

Like others have said I dont fit into any of the options listed. A couple reasons I like wearing is it helps me relax, relese stress, and sometimes just for convenience.

[BabyThorp]

I don't really fit in with the categories either since it's a mix of both. I can see how transexuals can feel trapped because everyone is born the gender of being either a boy or girl. I don't understand how someone could feel the same way about being trapped as a baby inside an adult body because I think being a baby is a physical stage like a tadpole to a frog. Maybe you're trapped with the idea of being psychologically a baby. If you ever can talk I'd be happy to talk with you

Could you help me by suggesting a category that you would feel like? I sort of view transsexual as a mental (psychological) state. You have a certain physical appearance but that's not how you feel. They can't explain it but for some reason they are driven to be the opposite sex. They think that way, they feel that way, they aren't happy unless they can be that way. I can't explain why I feel like I do. I really don't know. But it isn't a sexual thing just as any transsexual will tell you. So for me it seems like the same thing. This compelling drive to be something that I'm not. The difference is that I can't go to the doctor and get it fixed. I can't wear the clothes that I feel like I should be wearing all the time. (I guess I could but I don't) Fortunately I have a spouse that not only understands but likes who I am. She encourages me and provides an environment as childlike as possible. I don't always like it but then I can't have a children's environment without giving up the adult privilege of making those decisions.

I don't know if I can get permission to talk or not. I will try to think of a way. Sometimes it's nice to talk with other babies.

Baby

[sarah_ab]

I think what is trying to be said is that a transexual feels as if they were born in the wrong body, like their was a mix up when the brains were assigned to the bodies and a girls brain got put in a boys body or a boys brain in a girls body. Where as for adult baby's there was no mix, there was no baby brain put in an adults body, because as was said, infancy is a stage all human beings go through.

Theres no being born in a body that ages when you should have been born in a body that never ages, because that is not possible. As such, there is a difference between being an adult baby and being a real baby, not just the physical difference. As an adult who choses to act and dress and be treated as a baby, you bring to that all your adult experiences, your adult perceptions, your adult intelligence and your adult emotions. When you 'become' a baby again, it is not truely a baby, is an adult's perception of how a baby thinks, acts, and feels.

I understand that cetain people feel they 'need' to act like a baby, or dress like a baby, that for some it is only in becoming a baby they feel they are their most comfortable, but i dont think to compare it to a transexual is an adequate comparison.

Maybe some other choices could have been, i am a boy/girl who feels at my most comfortable when i become a baby, i am a boy/girl who becomes a baby for the feelings of safety and security it gives me, i am a boy/girl who becomes a baby for the sexual arousal i get from it, i am a boy/girl who becomes a baby for the psychological healing i receive from the experience, i am a boy/girl who becomes a baby in order to feel closer to my partner, i am a boy/girl who enjoy the loss of control and the intense trust involved in an ab/caregiver relationship, and then have the same categories for caregivers...

[BabyThorp]

Sara, I completely understand your post and the other post which you were trying to clarify. The operative work is "I think." On the other hand I have a different opinion. If I had a PhD in psychiatry I could make an attempt at explaining this but honestly I don't even think they know how this works. You are a part time baby and from the sounds of it (no insult intended, just a observation) on scale of one to ten, you would probably be a one or two where Heidi Lynn is a ten. So I don't believe you share my feelings, the way I feel driven, in non-sexual way to be a baby. Maybe I'm wrong. I'm not transsexual nor do I think are you. So I can only imagine what that must feel like. But at the end of the day, I imagine that they must feel driven just like I do. I have extreme empathy for any transsexual because I believe we share common elements. I don't expect you to understand this. Nor do I expect a lot of other folks here to understand it. I don't even understand it. But based on the results so far from the "I Feel" poll, I know there are at least some here who know how I feel and share those feelings.

Baby

[Baby Bethany]

Without wanting to repeat what Sarah is saying, I don't really see the comparison between this and a Transsexual either. Obviously it is possible to have the mind of a female in a male body, or mind of a male in a female body, which in effect makes it possible for a person with a male body to have the thoughts of a female and vise verse.

For this to truly be the same you would need to have the mind of a 1 or 2 year old, which would make you (as an adult) mentally disabled. You wouldn't be able to enjoy being a baby in the way you do now, because you wouldn't have the adult consciousness, i.e. a real 1 year old doesn't spend it's time enjoying or not enjoying being a baby.

Unless you are mentally disabled and have the mind of a baby, you are still really an adult wanting to act/live/be treated like a baby. Even if you are doing this 24/7, you are still an adult acting/living/being treated like a baby, but you just do it 24/7.

Just my view of things.

Beth

[sarah_ab]

course then there is always teh argument, it is possible to live as the opposite sex/gender 24/7, to integrate into society and truely be the opposite sex then you appear to be biologically, however, if you are posting on this website, if you work, even from home, if you drive, go to the store, use money, even a kids credit card, then you are not being a baby, sure you might be doing it in diapers, might be doing it in aonesie or a little girls dress, but you are still doing things considered adult.

I'm not saying you dont still feel like you want/need to be a baby on the inside, but in doing these adult things you recognize you cannot be a baby 24/7... if you talk on the phone, if you pour yourself a drink, heck if you brush your teeth on your own... you are not a baby.

So yes, i recognize some people may believe they need to be a baby, but just by posting on this website they are showing they cannot be a baby all the time.

[Sophie ♥]

That's complete nonsense.

Anyone of any age of any size can be a baby. They dont need a mental defect.

Face it. The majority of us who admire the "complete baby" 24/7 lifestyle just dont have it as an option. As society works, we are required to provide for ourselves due to our chronological age. We need to work, we need to gain money, we need to communicate to please our social stimulations, and we need to somehow create a balance between social acceptance and personal lust, depending on how far we are willing to go. There are threads here, one particularly, that have people commenting how they would easily give up everything in their adult life to become a full time baby if given the possibilities. These people are true babies. Yes, there are those unwilling to give up everything about being an adult... even if given the option... myself included... and they are probably not considered "real" babies.

But just because certain individuals brush their teeth to stay hygenic or that they come on these forums to chat with a few people like them, it doesn't mean they're not a real baby. It just means they currently dont have the option to act accordingly. As for entertainment, the only reason those babies who are chronologically older require a more advanced form is becasue they are educated. We are required to attend a school, to learn, to grow intellectually. It's unavoidable. But what if a baby knew the alphebet by the time he was 1 or somehow found Three's Company more enjoyable to watch than Teletubbies, or even managed to brush his teeth by that age... would he still be considered a baby just because he doesn't NEED to do any of that? He just chooses to? What if he had to do it. What if a 1 year old had to brush his own teeth because no one else was there to help, and what if he could? Did he somehow lose the "baby" status then? What if a baby had the mentality of an adult? What is he then? Sure, it's improbable, but you're all so tied up in the sizes and ages and the mental capabilities.

A more logical explination... say a little girl is driving a toy car. Or say her grandpa is letting her turn the steering wheel while he pulls into the garage. Or that little girl gets an allowance and buys toys with her own money, or she does chores for that money, or she plays on the computer. What if she immitates all of the stuff adults do, because we all know a lot of little kids do just that. And what if she's only three. Is she a little girl or an adult? That proves actions dont determine one's status as a baby or a toddler or a child or an adult.

And this proves that size and age dont determine that status either.

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/adult <The deffinition for an adult.

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/baby <The deffinition of a baby.

Nowhere does it list any ages or sizes. It's all about mental maturity, and just because someone of a babyish maturity level conforms to society's demands in order to STAY ALIVE, doesn't mean they're an adult. It just means, at that moment in time, they are incapable of acting how they truly are.

Because you know what I really can't stand? When people say "oh, well you're not a real baby... you just act like one for fun." That's not always accurate. That's not how some are. And they REALLY dont deserve that accusation.

-Sophie

[Baby Bethany]

The thing is Sophie, I agree that it's not the case that all of us do it "just for fun" but on the other side of the coin when people say "you are not a real baby" they are right, sorry but none of us are!

If we live like a baby 24/7 we are still an adult. We are an adult that has chosen to be treated like a baby 24/7. Aside from stories/fantasies, there are no adults that are 'forced' to live like a baby 24/7. Some people on here may say they are, but the bottom line is that 'they' decided to do that. It's a bit like a person into BD/SM that is living as the slave of a mistress or master. That person may be 100% under the control of another person, but they have decided to co-operate, i.e. they actively sought that lifestyle.

I don't think the example of a 1 year old with the brain of an adult is a good one, because this is impossible. A genuine 1 year old couldn't have the mind of an adult because they have neither the mental capacity or the life experience/learning. If a child is copying an adult this is exactly what they are, a child copying an adult......they are not an adult.

What you seem to be saying is that the only thing that makes an adult mentally an adult is the learning/education that society has forced upon them, this is not the case. If you took an adult that had never received any form of education or learning (which is not possible, because even in primitive societies people gain life experience) they would still have the mental capacity, cunning, emotions of an adult.......not a baby.

The only way for any of us to really think like a baby is to be so mentally disabled that we have the mind of a small child. But even then, we would not actually be a 'real baby' but a mentally disabled adult.

Beth

[BabyThorp]

How you live your life really isn't relative to my point. "I Feel Like" not "I Live Like." Bethany and Sara I really don't expect everyone to be able to understand this. Sara in another post it seems that you are happy with one or two baby experiences a month and that your fantasy would be going a whole 24 hours as a baby. Bethany I don't know your story. Obviously not everyone is in the same place. THAT is what this poll has pointed out among other things. I know that some of you will have a hard time understanding how anyone can feel the way I/we do. Obviously it is beyond your comprehension to see the comparison to the way a transsexual feels. Again operative word is "feels." That's OK. Maybe you never will understand this feeling. It's not required that you do. The whole point is that I am completely different than you are Sara. Please just accept the differences. Take this poll and these posts for what value you can derive from them, not what you can take exception to and argue about. We are all here because of common feelings. Let's celebrate, encourage, respect each other.