Parental Controls

[BabyThorp]

Hi, I was reading about some other posts with the supposition that at least part of the lure of being mommy is the control aspect. I think this is right. We don't role play, or maybe we roleplay 24/7, I don't know but it seems real. Anyway my mommy likes to exercise her parental authority over me. She has put Net Nanny on my computer and she has an email account for me. The email is a server setup for children where all of my email is routed through kid mail. The really annoying part is that it puts this kidmail disclaimer at the bottom of all my sent email. It has this multicolored cartoony logo and a little blurb about all my email is stored and reviewed by my parent. It's just totally embarrassing and my parent won't let me have email any other way. She gets copies of all my mail, in and out and I can't get mail or send mail to anyone who isn't on my "buddy" list. She also put parental controls on the television so I can't want anything adult without special permission. She cancealed all my adult credit cards and gave me this one for children. It's basically a debit card but has a parental website for loading money (my allowance) onto it and she can prohibit me from certain kinds of spending and she can even suspend my card as punishment. And she DOES punish me. I used to sort of laugh it off but I found that she is deadly serious and if I don't cooperate with my punishment it just gets worse and eventually I still get punished. My worst punishment is getting spanked. Again at first I sort of laughed it off but she is really serious about spanking me too. At first I used to not be able to resist putting my hands back but now she ties an old robe tie around my wrists then wraps one leg over mine. I can't get loose until she is finished. It's the most terrifying tramatic experience I know. My only outlet is crying and I've gotten pretty good at it. I can't help it. I bawl like a baby and the tears just stream by the time she finishes my spanking. Oh yes, did I tell you I get spanked by the same big black oval hairbrush that my mother used on me when I was a chronological child.

Contrasted with all that control she is also extremely maternal. Maybe that's the reason she exerts her parental authority, I don't know. She loves to cuddle with me. She loves giving me my night bottle. But I think one of her very favorites must be her nightly routine of feeding me dinner in my high chair. She puts me in my high chair maybe about half an hour before dinner. She gives me a bottle and a few raw vegetables to "practice" with. Then she just talks to me as she finishes dinner. When she finishes she sits beside me and spoon feeds me while she eats her own food. I can't get out of the high chair because she has this plastic buckle that has a little plastic key to release it. I'm going to try to be messier at dinner from now on tough because I had dentist appoint shortly before dinner recently and my mouth was so numb that I got food all over my bib and my face. She absolutely raved about how much fun that was. Go figure.

How many of you have parental controls at your house?

[sarah_ab]

personally, all that sounds a tad extreme to me, but if you are ok with it... i just hope you dont ever have to send an email for work, or you will not be taken seriously with that email account.

I guess i could never have that sort of 'parental control' sure my daddy will say things like "you can't have ice cream cause its 11 at night," but if i really want the ice cream i can just go downstairs and get it, because i'm not really a baby... i'm an adult capable of making my own decisions.

But like i said, as long as you consent to this sort of treatment, and and are not being forced to adhere to it for fear of actual physical harm (this includes spankings if you do not actually enjoy them) then it must be working for you.

[BabyThorp]

personally, all that sounds a tad extreme to me, but if you are ok with it... i just hope you dont ever have to send an email for work, or you will not be taken seriously with that email account.

I guess i could never have that sort of 'parental control' sure my daddy will say things like "you can't have ice cream cause its 11 at night," but if i really want the ice cream i can just go downstairs and get it, because i'm not really a baby... i'm an adult capable of making my own decisions.

But like i said, as long as you consent to this sort of treatment, and and are not being forced to adhere to it for fear of actual physical harm (this includes spankings if you do not actually enjoy them) then it must be working for you.

Sara,

I guess it's really all in the expectations. When my mommy and I first met and fell in love neither one of us wanted to have "role play" or anything else that wasn't real. She wanted to be my parent and be able to make my decisions and raise me as her child. So that meant that her decisions had to stick, have the force of punishment. It also meant that just because I wasn't in agreement with one of her decisions, I couldn't change the decision. In other words I could pull the adult trump card. She let me know that I wouldn't be happy with some of her decisions but that she would always strive to be the best parent and do things in my best interest even if I didn't like them. I think one aspect of this that really appealed to her was the opportunity to raise me the way she wanted me to be. We had both come from previous marriages where there was a lot of fighting and arguing. We talked about it and absolutely agreed that the egalitarian, equal partner marriage doesn't work well, at least not for us. We agreed that being the head of the house was consistent with being the parent and it would fall to her. She would consult me but ultimately her decisions are final. We agreed that she had the right as my parent to punish me including spanking. Then we brainstormed ways that she could maintain her authority as parent and enforce her decisions should I try to use the "adult trump card." We succeeded and she has taken this well beyond our original thoughts. We both agreed to all of this and with the help of an attorney drafted it into a contract, signed and notarized. The day I signed the contract is the day that I lost all adult privileges.

It is extreme. Extremely real. This is what we want. It is 100% consistent with parent/child relationships everywhere.

We have/own several businesses. Yes this is on ALL of my mail. It is a constant embarrassment to me. When asked I tell them that it is the best spam filter we could find. However, my mommy said that isn't the truth and if she catches me telling anyone else that then she will send an announcement to everyone on my buddy list. I am supposed to tell them the truth that I have been immature and now require a supervised email account. The actual thing that goes on the bottom of all my email is:

E-mail for kids!

Messages are automatically stored for parental review.

This is a parentally supervised children's email account.

The actual truth is that on more than one occasion mommy caught me sending email to other mommies and they were responding. I was just curious. After the first time I promised that I would never do it again...but my childish curiosity got the better of me. After being punished she put me on parentally controlled email telling me this was completely appropriate. But one after the other I hacked them. SBC, AOL and ATT. But then she found this kidmail thing. They have a program where they take the "mx" record which means that all the email of our various domains is routed through their mail server. Everything goes through a bunch of spam filters and then children's accounts are checked against the "buddy" list. My parent gets email that isn't on my buddy list. She can decide to add them or discard it. Likewise when I send mail it goes through virus filters, is compared to my buddy list, and stamped with the children's disclaimer at the bottom. If I try to email to a non-buddy then she gets an alert and the attempted email. So it is appropriate for me to be on this email. I am actually glad that my parent has provided this boundary for me because I have been tempted. There is no end to the embarrassment that this causes me but as my parent told me "you earned it."

I envy your freedom. I can't stay up until 11. My bedtime is 8 which means that mommy has rocked and fed me my bottle, I'm in my double diapers, plastic pants and footed jammies and the side is up on the crib at 8. She says "I need my personal time." Which is in the evening after I am in bed. If I am told that I can't have ice cream and I disobey then I get punished. I lost my adult privileges but I can still make my own decisions as long as they don't break any rules or become disobedient.

I consentED to this relationship. On a day to day basis, I don't consent. I know and understand that I can't be a baby without actually having no consent. I think in the bondage world they call it "topping from the bottom." In other words I can't pull the adult trump card and tell her what she can and can't do. Does that mean that I am forced to do thing without my immediate consent and against my will and physical punishment in the form of a spanking will follow if I don't? Absolutely yes. Sometimes we have a disagreement. I get pouty, belligerent and won't back down. I try to act like an adult. Deep inside I would like to be able to just give in, submit, accept and have her love me. But I can't. When I get like this she makes me go get the hairbrush and she puts a chair out in the middle of the room. I learned a long time ago not to resist. It just get worse if I do. Much worse. I also learned not to talk back. I used to stamp my feet out of frustration and tell her it isn't fair. She started soaping my mouth and THEN spanking me. I don't do that anymore. She puts me in position off balance across one knee. The other leg over mine so I can't kick. Her robe tie on my hands so I can't reach back. Then she spanks my bare bottom good. There is nothing pretend or play about these spankings. They are extremely painful and traumatic. I bawl my eyes out when she spanks me. I don't like them or want them. I am exhausted when she finishes. She always comforts and cradles me afterwords. She tells me how much she loves me and how much it hurts her to have to spank me. She tells me that if she didn't love me so much and care about the way I grow up, she just wouldn't spank me. All is forgiven. It is at these times that I realize why she spanks me and how much I need them even though I don't like it. Sitting there being held, cared for, and loved like this gives me an extremely intense physical glowing in my heart. I am loving her as a child loves his parent. I'm loving her not in spite of my spanking but because of it. I can't even describe it except maybe to compare it with that intense love you first feel a 18(or...) when you fall in love. It's like that every time she spanks me. I don't want to get spanked, but I love having a parent who spanks me because she loves me so much.

Does that make sense? Did I explain it so you can understand my perspective?

Baby

[sarah_ab]

While i will admit the relationship you are in does not and never will make sense to me, it makes sense to you, i hope.

You were adequate in explaining the extent of control you have allowed another person to have over you.

I'm not going to go into any more detail on how i feel about this relationship, because you obviously feel this is a health relationship. I wish you the best in it.

[BabyThorp]

While i will admit the relationship you are in does not and never will make sense to me, it makes sense to you, i hope.

You were adequate in explaining the extent of control you have allowed another person to have over you.

I'm not going to go into any more detail on how i feel about this relationship, because you obviously feel this is a health relationship. I wish you the best in it.

Well Sara you left so much unsaid. Thank you.....I think. For a minute there I thought maybe you were going to come onto a site like this and talk about unhealthy relationships and what constitutes one. That would be interesting because I would hazard a guess that over half, the majority of those on this site would love to have a mommy or daddy and have them in a parental role allowing them to have control over themselves in a "healthy" but parental way. Strange that we should be having converstations about healthy and normal here at all.

Baby

[diaperwearntigger]

Well Sara you left so much unsaid. Thank you.....I think. For a minute there I thought maybe you were going to come onto a site like this and talk about unhealthy relationships and what constitutes one. That would be interesting because I would hazard a guess that over half, the majority of those on this site would love to have a mommy or daddy and have them in a parental role allowing them to have control over themselves in a "healthy" but parental way. Strange that we should be having converstations about healthy and normal here at all.

Baby

I have a "daddy" who is also my husband, whom I love to be in control at times as a "daddy" should be, however; our adult relationship comes first, afterall we are adults, who have to lead adult lives. Our diaper/baby play is just a bonus to our relationship. We have a very healthy adult relationship as well as a daddy/baby relationship. He does not however, have control over me as much as your "mommy" does. I am my own independent person and he respects that about me. We both help around the house, we both take care of the animals, we both work, we both help pay the bills, we both go grocery shopping, we both make decisions. We must do this to survive as adults. The idea of having him have total control over me to the point where I do not have anything adult of my own, like a job, or my own debit or credit cards, or friends for that matter, is going way above and beyond anything called a relationship... healthy or otherwise. I need to know, as well as my husband, that if anything happened to him, (God forbid) that I am able to make it on my own as an adult. The question that keeps coming to my mind when I read this thread is, What on earth will you do if something happened to your "mommy," or the relationship in general? If she has such control over things now, what if something happens and she, God forbid, dies before she can let you know all the passwords etc for you to get off of kid control and to get your own credit cards? .... I don't think anyone is saying that you can't have a "mommy," or that she can't have some control over you, but to have that much control is maybe not beneficial to you or to her for that matter....

Someone said that this is not an adult relationship... if it's not..then why the marriage...after all adults get married, not babies.... if its not an adult relationship then I would suspect there is no sex involved..so she must have someone else to meet her needs sexually....and if its a truly mommy/baby situation, then you would not even have an "allowance," have computer time, have time left alone, nor have a business of your own... lets be realistic... you can not be a baby .... nor one 24/7..... diapered is one thing, but treated like a baby 24/7.. must be exhausting and boring and I would think not very fullfilling for either one of you.... I know it wouldn't be for me or my hubby/daddy...but then again I'm not into your situation, nor do I ever see myself in one like that.

[Angela Bauer]

Well, this is very interesting.

It is fascinating you do not list your actual age, but since you are a member here I will assume you are over 18 and thus an adult.

What does the Terms of Service (TOS) of that kids-only e-mail service say about adults using it? Does your mommy require you to make it clear you are an adult being supervised as if you were a child?

Let us role play: Pretend you are the father of a bright child of 6 or 7 who has grown up on the computer and wants an e-mail account. Your child becomes on-line friends with another kid on a protected server. Then you discover that "kid" was an adult man pretending with the help of an adult woman. How would you react? Would you be concerened enough to contact law enforcement, the owner of the server and even retain an attorney?

My law firm does not represent individuals, only corporations. However, I have 2 friends who currently are bring law suits against a service which claims to prevent adults contacting or being contacted by children. Named in those suits are the adults who were in contact with the children. Probably by the time the litigation reached Federal Court those minor children will be adults. Meanwhile the defendants will have spent their savings on their own attorneys fighting the action.

Look, I relax playing as an AB with other adults. I am not here to judge you or anyone. Perhaps you and your mommy should think carefully about all the ramifications of using this kids server.

[diaperwearntigger]

Well, this is very interesting.

It is fascinating you do not list your actual age, but since you are a member here I will assume you are over 18 and thus an adult.

What does the Terms of Service (TOS) of that kids-only e-mail service say about adults using it? Does your mommy require you to make it clear you are an adult being supervised as if you were a child?

Let us role play: Pretend you are the father of a bright child of 6 or 7 who has grown up on the computer and wants an e-mail account. Your child becomes on-line friends with another kid on a protected server. Then you discover that "kid" was an adult man pretending with the help of an adult woman. How would you react? Would you be concerened enough to contact law enforcement, the owner of the server and even retain an attorney?

My law firm does not represent individuals, only corporations. However, I have 2 friends who currently are bring law suits against a service which claims to prevent adults contacting or being contacted by children. Named in those suits are the adults who were in contact with the children. Probably by the time the litigation reached Federal Court those minor children will be adults. Meanwhile the defendants will have spent their savings on their own attorneys fighting the action.

Look, I relax playing as an AB with other adults. I am not here to judge you or anyone. Perhaps you and your mommy should think carefully about all the ramifications of using this kids server.

Thank you for that insight... I never thought about it like that before, but you make a very good and valid point.

[BabyThorp]

Well, this is very interesting.

It is fascinating you do not list your actual age, but since you are a member here I will assume you are over 18 and thus an adult.

What does the Terms of Service (TOS) of that kids-only e-mail service say about adults using it? Does your mommy require you to make it clear you are an adult being supervised as if you were a child?

Let us role play: Pretend you are the father of a bright child of 6 or 7 who has grown up on the computer and wants an e-mail account. Your child becomes on-line friends with another kid on a protected server. Then you discover that "kid" was an adult man pretending with the help of an adult woman. How would you react? Would you be concerened enough to contact law enforcement, the owner of the server and even retain an attorney?

My law firm does not represent individuals, only corporations. However, I have 2 friends who currently are bring law suits against a service which claims to prevent adults contacting or being contacted by children. Named in those suits are the adults who were in contact with the children. Probably by the time the litigation reached Federal Court those minor children will be adults. Meanwhile the defendants will have spent their savings on their own attorneys fighting the action.

Look, I relax playing as an AB with other adults. I am not here to judge you or anyone. Perhaps you and your mommy should think carefully about all the ramifications of using this kids server.

Wow, something that only you could bring to the table. However none of this applies.

1. The owners and operators of the service are fully aware that I am chronologically over the age of consent plus some. There are no TOS issues.

2. The mail domains that are being hosted are NOT the domains that are typically used by families engaging their service. The are domains which we own, that host our business.

3. The service being provided is spam/virus protection, mail web interface, parentally controlled contact list and review of email. I notice that you are on hotmail. Were you aware that these very same services are provided by Microsoft for your mail server?

4. There is no children's chat area or other children's web facilities. This is purely email. There is no method by which any other kids email addresses can be known. They aren't published. Think of it this way. You have children and you want them to be able to send Aunt Loise email. You engage this service list the Aunt and someone they can email and then they can stay in contact with each other. All of the spam and smut is eliminated from the email inbox. Adults can even use this service but without the "buddy list" Do you think you can get a list of hotmail users from Microsoft?

5. I am continually embarrassed by my children's email. I don't have to make it clear to anyone that I am an adult because the recipients are friends or business contacts who know I am. What I do have to do is make lame excuses why my email is parentally controlled.

6. I resent your subtle implication that I am in some way a pedophile. I certainly thought we had gotten a long way past that.

Baby

[sarah_ab]

Thorp, i have to say, you are sounding exactly like a friend of mine who was in an abusive relationship. You claim you enjoy this relationship but you are constantly making excuses why you have a child's email address to BUSINESS contacts. How long do you think you can keep these contacts before they wonder why the person they do business with cannot make a decision without 'consulting' with his wife. This is not professional in the least and unless you business is in the AB world, where people would chuckle lightly at the behavior and assume you were just exaggerating. I would never do business with someone who had a 'parent controlled' email address.

As for your age, i do wish you would get verified, i think it would put a lot of us at ease to know that you are over 18. But of course you cannot even do this as you do not have an ADULT credit or debit card, and apparently have a child's id? I'm not sure i understand how that can be, i'm pretty sure someones wife cannot control the type of identification card the state gives them.

I am not trying to insult you, only to show you how highly suspicious your behavior can seem to people. I for one wonder if you are truely over 18. I wonder if everyone here is over 18, but more especially those who claim their age has no importance, and conviently cannot verify their age through the means DD has provided.

But no, you are not in a healthy relationship, You are allowing yourself to be controlled and abused and then making excuses for your abuser. Whether your posts here are a cry for help or a cry for attention i do not know.

I am in a healthy relationship. I have a boyfriend who i will roleplay with at times, where he is in control and my daddy. We share a bank account, but the account is actually in my name, for various reasons. We both work, we have our own email acconts, our own friends, our own interests. We also have shared friends and interests. Healthy relationships do not include one person constantly having to make excuses for the behavior of the other. Healthy realationships do not include involving family and friends in the personal intimate lives of the couple (spankings at your friends/family's house) and if you do not enjoy the spankings, and do not want them to happen, but feel you are powerless to stop them, than YES you are being abused, and are making excuses as to why you 'allow' it to occur.

I know this sounds harsh, and you most likely will retort with a lengthy post trying to show how wrong i am. And i may be. afterall, all i know is what you tell us, and that is not much really, just long posts with very little about who you are, and a lot about the situation you may or may not be in.

Trust us a little, verify your age, maybe post in other topics that dont have anything to do with you being completely and utterly controlled, come into the chat, let us know a little more about you the person, not you the baby.

In getting to know you more, we may begin to better understand the sort of relationship you claim to be in.

You have to understand, you join a site, and then immediately post about allowing someong to control every aspect of your life, even your professional life, and then when asked some very basic information you refuse to give it out. To many members here that is suspicious behavior, and on a site that is clearly for those over 18 and does involve A LOT of adult content and converastions, one must be careful.

[BabyThorp]

_ab

But you HAVE insulted me. You are also trying to bait me. I'm not taking it. At this point I could care less what your opinion is. You have lost my interest. Many of your points are wrong. I don't care enough to even point them out. Verifying my age should be least of your worries but somehow it has become your mission along with saving the site from children's avatars.

Baby....not Thorp

[PampersPete]

[BabyThorp]

Thank you pete for that levity.

Baby

[enfant]

For a minute there I thought maybe you were going to come onto a site like this and talk about unhealthy relationships and what constitutes one. That would be interesting because I would hazard a guess that over half, the majority of those on this site would love to have a mommy or daddy and have them in a parental role allowing them to have control over themselves in a "healthy" but parental way. Strange that we should be having converstations about healthy and normal here at all.

On the contrary, it seems quite natural to me that those of us who have such desires would spend a whole lot of time thinking and talking about healthy, balanced relationships, so we can avoid slipping into the other sort by mistake. We who enjoy submission are at high risk for that.

I mean, sure, I fantasize about mommy taking complete control of me, just as some BDSM enthusiasts fantasize about not having a safe-word--but that doesn't mean either one would be a good idea. What you've been describing here, assuming you've been totally honest and not exaggerating at all, is the equivalent of a mistress/slave relationship with no safe-word. That's extremely dangerous territory, and a risk I wouldn't be at all comfortable taking, even though I do find the fantasy compelling.

[BriGuy]

I am in the business world and I deal with contacts all of the time. If I came across a person using a child's email server not only would I find that un-professional but creepy as well. Those servers are for children to use for their protection, not for adults to use to satisfy a kink. As for the relationship you are in and the points Sarah has given; only you can decide what is healthy and what is not. The fact that I do not know you and you are using children's email servers and refuse to verify gives me the creeps. The general public has a rampant imagination and if they catch the slightest hint that you are trying to bate or affiliate yourself with underage people they will be all over you like fly's on stank.

Its your life though, live it as you see fit.

[PampersPete]

Thank you pete for that levity.

Baby

No problem.It's what I do. I may think you're nuttier than the Planters factory but I'll never disparage nor judge you for it. It's your life.....what the fuck do I care how you live it?

[langtab]

So just a question here though... What is stopping you from going to a site like Gmail and signing up for an e-mail account... Behind her back? As others have said in this post makes sense though. Mixing your personal relationship kinks and your buisness aspirations is a toxic mixture. But, at the end of it all it does not matter what I believe because it is your life.

At the end of the day we all need to just sit back and let people lead their lives. If you are happy and feel that everything in your life is extraordinary and it always will be because of the decisions the two of you have made then go for it. All that matters in the time between birth and death is whether or not we personally are truly happy.

One thing I must ask before posting this thread is what do you really want from posting this thread? I did not really pick up on a specific question that you required to be answered... So was it more so an educational post for our information or was it an I need to know if this is right post?

[BabyThorp]

So just a question here though... What is stopping you from going to a site like Gmail and signing up for an e-mail account... Behind her back? As others have said in this post makes sense though. Mixing your personal relationship kinks and your buisness aspirations is a toxic mixture. But, at the end of it all it does not matter what I believe because it is your life.

At the end of the day we all need to just sit back and let people lead their lives. If you are happy and feel that everything in your life is extraordinary and it always will be because of the decisions the two of you have made then go for it. All that matters in the time between birth and death is whether or not we personally are truly happy.

One thing I must ask before posting this thread is what do you really want from posting this thread? I did not really pick up on a specific question that you required to be answered... So was it more so an educational post for our information or was it an I need to know if this is right post?

What a thoughtful post. I have Net Nanny on my computer and I can't go to gmail or yahoo or any of the others. There is also something on my computer, I'm not sure what that lets her see my email, web based or not. I found one that wasn't blocked and shortly it WAS blocked. Yes, I know what others have said and I appreciate your understanding that it really is her decision and not the group here. You are absolutely right that at the end of the day the most important thing is were you happy. I/we are.

I looked back at my original post. I sort of ramble don't I? What I was really sort of wondering, but not so much because I think I knew the answer, are others frustrated with this much parental control? The answer it seems is resoundingly NO. I really didn't care for all the armchair psychiatrists analyzing my relationship without even understanding me or my mommy. But then I've tuned them out. A very wise mentor of mine told me "Listen to understand, THEN speak."

Baby

[Codymoogle]

BabyThorp,

I've read this post a lot...Reading the original posts, the replies, your replies to the replies...

So I've finally decided to post my thoughts.

I disagree with those who keep saying it's a kink or that you're an adult...I may not know your chronological age, but I'd assume from the tone of your posts and your spelling etc., that you are chronologically 18+ BUT i know that, like me, you are emotionally little and that it's definately NOT a kink.

(and as a side note to those who are worried he's a chronological minor...I understand your fears completely, but at the same time most people under 18, and sometimes even over 18, can't spell worth a flying rat's butt...bcuz ntspk haz tkn ovr u no. dey al spel lyk dis n stuf. But BabyThorp can spell perfectly and it seems he thinks pretty deeply.)

That said, I can appreciate and understand your situation. I do agree that Kidmail for work purposes is unprofessional though, my suggestion is to have an adult email account that only your mommy knows the password to, thus giving you professionalism where needed in an adult email account but still letting your mommy have parental control.

I also disagree with those who have said you are being abused. If there is mutual consent to any actions undertaken then it isn't abuse. Even though some things may not be of consent at the time, if there were mutual agreements set beforehand, then it's fine and not abusive. I understand the trust you and your mommy have between each other, and you said already that you talk about things with her. It's not like you have no input, correct? If you're MAJORLY against something or if it hurts you beyond what you consented to you can point it out to your mommy - yes it's her choice whether to stop or not but if she's a good parent she'll limit herself...the whole safeword thing i can understand...but since you don't want to tell your mommy what to do and what not to do (because then she's not really the one in charge if you did that which i understand) what it boils down to is a trust issue. Your mommy won't do anything to harm you and you trust that. If it's bad and you find her abusive, you have every right to terminate the relationship, just as I do with my Dady.

I would suggest though, that you and your mommy (along with the help of a lawyer/attorney type person) draw up an "escape hatch" if you will, for if the relationship doesn't work out. I'm not saying that that will happen, but in case it does, you need to have a backup plan so you aren't left in the dust, you know? I'm sure your mommy cares about your safety and she'll allow a plan to be made. If she doesn't, then I'd say it's not a good relationship and you need to get out immediately, because ANY relationship can fall through - be it by breakup, divorce, or death.

As for your original question/post - no, I don't have parental controls yet. I'm in your same boat, despite that I have more freedoms because of the distance...and when Dady and I live together, the restrictions will be modified and some restrictions will be added, including a Net Nanny of some sort. It can be frustrating at times but Dady only puts limits on me for my safety and well being.

~ moogle

[BabyThorp]

BabyThorp,

That said, I can appreciate and understand your situation. I do agree that Kidmail for work purposes is unprofessional though, my suggestion is to have an adult email account that only your mommy knows the password to, thus giving you professionalism where needed in an adult email account but still letting your mommy have parental control.

I understand where someone would think that children's email is unprofessional but without knowing all the facts, too many have rushed to judgment. What if for instance I worked at Kidmail, (which I don't) would that still be unprofessional? The simple truth is that I don't have occasion to email with anyone who is paying. My email is all with vendors. Trust me, I could be purple with five heads and stinky breath but as long as my money is green they will be my best friends. This ironically is a big problem for me though because I have argued till I'm blue in the face and I still have to have children's email. I don't want it, it's not my choice, everyone is preaching to the choir about this. Mommy is the one you need to address not me. Generally I tell vendors this is a family thing that my "wife" needed to do. I don't know if they accept that explanation or not but it doesn't affect business in the least. The part that gives me endless shame and embarrassment is with family and friends. In order to have anyone on my "buddy" list I had to give my parent the name and email for each one. It seems that when the parent puts the person into the buddy list they have the option "announcing" the new email user to the contact that is added. All my friends and family that were added got some little note about me acting immaturely and needing to have my email supervised. My sister-in-laws all think I'm a milk toast and my parent is their hero. My father-in-law was disgusted with me. My mother-in-law was pragmatic and my very own mother sent my parent the big oval, ebony hairbrush that I grew up knowing it's back side too well. It was all wrapped up in gift paper but it's a used brush. I really think there has been some conversations between those two that I'm not aware of.

I also disagree with those who have said you are being abused. If there is mutual consent to any actions undertaken then it isn't abuse. Even though some things may not be of consent at the time, if there were mutual agreements set beforehand, then it's fine and not abusive. I understand the trust you and your mommy have between each other, and you said already that you talk about things with her. It's not like you have no input, correct? If you're MAJORLY against something or if it hurts you beyond what you consented to you can point it out to your mommy - yes it's her choice whether to stop or not but if she's a good parent she'll limit herself...the whole safeword thing i can understand...but since you don't want to tell your mommy what to do and what not to do (because then she's not really the one in charge if you did that which i understand) what it boils down to is a trust issue. Your mommy won't do anything to harm you and you trust that. If it's bad and you find her abusive, you have every right to terminate the relationship, just as I do with my Dady.

Absolutely

I would suggest though, that you and your mommy (along with the help of a lawyer/attorney type person) draw up an "escape hatch" if you will, for if the relationship doesn't work out. I'm not saying that that will happen, but in case it does, you need to have a backup plan so you aren't left in the dust, you know? I'm sure your mommy cares about your safety and she'll allow a plan to be made. If she doesn't, then I'd say it's not a good relationship and you need to get out immediately, because ANY relationship can fall through - be it by breakup, divorce, or death.

In CA that's all taken care of. It's a community property state. We also already have a Will.

As for your original question/post - no, I don't have parental controls yet. I'm in your same boat, despite that I have more freedoms because of the distance...and when Dady and I live together, the restrictions will be modified and some restrictions will be added, including a Net Nanny of some sort. It can be frustrating at times but Dady only puts limits on me for my safety and well being.

~ moogle

Maybe he will put parental controls on the TV also. I love rugrats so i got mine changed. Let me know how it works out. Thank you for such a thoughtful post. I got a little terse replying to the mail stuff. Nothing personal, I'm just a little raw on that one.

Baby

[diaperwearntigger]

What I'm not understanding is this... if your "parent" has so much control over your life as you say that they do... then how come they don't have much, if any control, over you here at DD? From what I have seen you are free to express yourself on here, you are free to chat and answer who you wish... If your "parent" is in so much control, I would think they wouldn't allow you to expose your situation as you have, nor be able to express your dislike on some things like you have, I would think she would monitor this as much as she does everything else you say she does.....

Just curious as to why such freedom on DD, but not any other aspects of your life.

[Codymoogle]

I understand where someone would think that children's email is unprofessional but without knowing all the facts, too many have rushed to judgment. What if for instance I worked at Kidmail, (which I don't) would that still be unprofessional? The simple truth is that I don't have occasion to email with anyone who is paying. My email is all with vendors. Trust me, I could be purple with five heads and stinky breath but as long as my money is green they will be my best friends. This ironically is a big problem for me though because I have argued till I'm blue in the face and I still have to have children's email. I don't want it, it's not my choice, everyone is preaching to the choir about this. Mommy is the one you need to address not me. Generally I tell vendors this is a family thing that my "wife" needed to do. I don't know if they accept that explanation or not but it doesn't affect business in the least. The part that gives me endless shame and embarrassment is with family and friends. In order to have anyone on my "buddy" list I had to give my parent the name and email for each one. It seems that when the parent puts the person into the buddy list they have the option "announcing" the new email user to the contact that is added. All my friends and family that were added got some little note about me acting immaturely and needing to have my email supervised. My sister-in-laws all think I'm a milk toast and my parent is their hero. My father-in-law was disgusted with me. My mother-in-law was pragmatic and my very own mother sent my parent the big oval, ebony hairbrush that I grew up knowing it's back side too well. It was all wrapped up in gift paper but it's a used brush. I really think there has been some conversations between those two that I'm not aware of.

I wasn't judging your use of Kidmail, BabyThorp. If that's what your mommy decides is best for you, that's what's best. Who would I be to disagree? I wasn't arguing about or judging the Kidmail usage, I respect the point of view your Mommy has. And you are right, I don't know all the information. Especially if your business is okay with it, then I have absolutely no issue over the Kidmail. I'm sorry if I came across as rude.

About the fallout plan:

In CA that's all taken care of. It's a community property state. We also already have a Will.

It seems you and your Mommy have it all worked out, which is wonderful. I respect this a lot.

Maybe he will put parental controls on the TV also. I love rugrats so i got mine changed. Let me know how it works out. Thank you for such a thoughtful post. I got a little terse replying to the mail stuff. Nothing personal, I'm just a little raw on that one.

Dady has already told me there will be restrictions on TV, movies, and video games, as follows:

TV: Anything over TV-Y7 and PG I need to ask Dady about before I watch it.

Movies: PG-13 I'm required to ask Dady about first, and R and NC-17 movies are off limits completely.

Video games: I can play up to E ("Everyone"). T ("Teen") rated games I need to ask Dady about first, and M ("Mature") and AO ("Adults Only") games are off limits completely.

These are in addition to the Net Nanny I'll have on my compy. If you have any other questions, feel free to ask.

As far as the mail stuff, it's okay...I understand it'd get frustrating when a lot of people get on your case about it. I just hope I didn't come across as mean/rude.

~ moogle

[Three Rivers]

Well said Tigger, makes you wonder huh?

[BabyThorp]

What I'm not understanding is this... if your "parent" has so much control over your life as you say that they do... then how come they don't have much, if any control, over you here at DD? From what I have seen you are free to express yourself on here, you are free to chat and answer who you wish... If your "parent" is in so much control, I would think they wouldn't allow you to expose your situation as you have, nor be able to express your dislike on some things like you have, I would think she would monitor this as much as she does everything else you say she does.....

Just curious as to why such freedom on DD, but not any other aspects of your life.

I'm a little raw today please excuse me if I am not gracious. I detect a bit of cynicism in your post. (little?) I will try to answer this as if I truly believe that your only intention in this post is curiosity. The way Net Nanny works is that everything is mostly locked up except for children appropriate sites. As I need a site I can apply for and get permission from my parent. Some sites are necessary and some are "entertainment" I used to go to another site but it became boring for a number of reasons I won't go into. I have heard a lot about this site. My parent sat down with me and decided which places I can go and which I can't on this site. With Net Nanny she can lock a whole site or just pages of it. Inadvertently I was able to use the "private message" part of the site. I am not allowed to email outside the boundaries of my regular parentally controlled email. If I find I can then I am supposed to report it to my parent so she can exclude it from my environment. I sort of thought private messages might be an exception. There is something else running on my computer besides Net Nanny that gives her information about my computer usage. I don't know what it is but I know it must exist or she has the proverbial eyes in the back of her head. I decided to confess to her. She already knew and I got a spanking last Saturday night. I am now locked out from the private messages and from the live chat. My mommy is almost paranoid that another mommy is going to steal me. That I think is half the reason I am so restricted. There is another baby on this site who is aware of all of this because I was doing pm with them.

I suppose my parent knows what I post. I'm just guessing but like most parents she knows everything. I didn't know that I expressed my dislikes with the possible exception of the mean things that some people post. She would probably encourage me in that. I do know that she wouldn't have any issues with me "telling" on myself. I used to be mortified when she would tell me in public that I was going to get my bottom spanked when we got home. It is common knowledge among her siblings and parents that she has various forms of parental control for my benefit and that she spanks me. I don't think they believed that her threats of spanking me were real until she became so exasperated with me that she spanked me at her older sisters house in a borrowed bedroom. I will never forget the experience of re-joining the family after my spanking. I have also been much more respectful and obedient at her sisters houses. (spankings actually do work) I don't wish to repeat that experience but the cat is out of the bag. That "exposure" was bad, this is nothing. I've never even seen any or your faces.

Does that satisfy your curiosity?

Baby

[putn2diapers]

Ok I have been reading alot of your post from different threads and I really dont post much but I have some questions. I dont really have an opinion on your actual relationship but just questions.

I dont know if I missed it but has anyone actually asked you what your real age is? If they havnt then: What is your real age?, And if you dont want to give it what is the reason for not giving it other than saying your Mommy sees you as a 2 year old?

I am assumeing that your are an adult because of some of reponses show what kind of knowledge you have, though when I was 15 I could come up with just as much knowledgable(sp) stuff with a 5 minute search on the net.

The other question is how are you not able to "hack" your kidmail if you could do it to other things like SBC, AOL and ATT. Same thing with Net Nanny it may be a good program but everything can be worked around.