The Psyciatrists Have No Idea What To Do About Us...

[enfant]

I was a little unlucky in the way I found out I wasn't the only one. It was some afternoon talk show in New York City in about 1979; I happened to find it while flipping channels, and was transfixed when I saw a man talking in babytalk. It turned out he was a psychologist who claimed to have worked with men who acted like babies, and when I tuned in, he had been doing an unflattering impression of one of them. He explained that this was a serious psychological problem and that these men required intensive treatment to cure them of their attachment to babyhood and desire to regress. I remember the host asking why not just let the men act like babies for a while, and get it out of their system, and the psychologist said that wouldn't help.

I wish I knew who this guy was and what he was doing on TV talking about infantilism. If he really was a psychologist, I'm sorry for his patients, because he sure damaged me. I wasn't old enough to understand that a person could be a "doctor" and still be full of crap, so I took his words as gospel truth, and learned two things, one good, one bad: a) I'm not the only one, and the others are mentally ill, implying c) I am, or will inevitably become, mentally ill. I decided then and there that I would never let anyone find out the truth about me, convinced that I'd be institutionalized if the secret ever got out. It was more than a decade before I even started to heal from the distortions this caused in my life.

When I think about this, I find the fact that most psychologists don't know anything about us kind of reassuring. Because some psychologists are awful, wanting to invent mental illnesses where there are none... and what they don't know about, they can't screw up, right?

[DiaperBigBoy]

I'm a nut, regardless

-Sophie

Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don't. I know I'm nuts.

[Toddler Pampers]

Some very interesting posts. I will add that I agree with those arguing that an attraction to diapers isn't a big deal all by itself. Yes, some (even lots) of people would say it is. Okay, for them it is. But let's not let others tell us how to feel about ourselves. That's really the bottom line.

Just because you like diapers doesn't mean you need sorting out. In fact, only a bad psychiatrist or psychologist would see a problem in a fetish alone. There has to be something more, such as distress or consequences before a diaper fetish is a problem. If a person goes for therapy, but there's no reason for change, then everyone's time is just being wasted.

Yes, we'd all like to know why we do what we do, which is a fine subject for therapy, but usually isn't also accompanied by anxiety or consequences such as marital discord or contact with law enforcement.

I do believe the mental health professional is ususally being asked to "fix" the patient, not just inform them.

Having said that, it is very interesting to consider the cause of fetishes. The term fetish complicates things by including sex, so maybe an easier thing to figure out is why adults would like wearing diapers (which isn't necessarily a desire rooted in sexual fulfillment). Perhaps it is for purposes of transforming oneself in order to relieve stress. But, be careful what you wish for. Babies don't have stress, but they don't have much control either. And a lack of control gives you anxiety and anger. Who wants to be there!?

I personally feel that a desire to wear diapers reflects a lack of self-confidence. For me, having a diaper attraction is probably an excuse to fail. I don't want to be a failure. On the contrary, I don't want to have there be anything "wrong" with me. But it's nice to know that there's a reason, an excuse, for my disappointments and downfalls. In other words, diapers are a crutch.

Then again, anyone who believes in God is using a crutch. Anybody who believes anything, for that matter, is using a crutch. The real question is, does your crutch work for you, or is it messing you up. If diapers are no different from whatever else might make a person feel secure or emotionally supported, then why are they bad? Well, they're not bad, and to the extent that they're just like religion, they're normal, too.

Any thoughts on this thread of explanation, anyone?

[tris]

The 'distress' part that psychs talk about is rather subjective -- If a patient is coming to them for help, then there must be a certain amount of distress, right? Otherwise, they wouldn't have tried to get help, right? So maybe that's where they come off taking a certain stance on a patient's particular issues. It's the responsibility of both to be very clear on where they stand on the issue before, during, and after consultation.

I personally feel that a desire to wear diapers reflects a lack of self-confidence.

That's probably the bottom line, overall, for many AB/DLs, and most who have some sort of fetish.

[sarah_ab]

i'm not sure saying those who have a fetish lack self confidence is a generalization that can ever be made.

I think it takes an awful lot of confidence to 1. admit to yourself you have a fetish 2. accept that fetish and 3. actively engage in that fetish.

I have been involved in the fetish community for about ten years now (yes i was a minor for a bit) and i can say, while yes there are those who engage in hte community who have low self esteem, i dont think the occurance is any higher than in the non fetish scene. Many people have low self esteem but they dont all turn to fetish behavior.

It may be true for you as an individual that your lack of self confidence led you to seek something out which would allow u to escape reality, but this could just as easily have been roleplaying games like dungeons and dragons, or completely engrossing yourself into some sort of hobby or intellectual pursuit. it doesnt mean everyone who plays a roleplaying game, or is a staunch intellectual has low self esteem or lack of self confidence either.

Its a cas by case basis and making these sort of generalizations is how people can get a negative view of the lifestyle.. Imagine being 18 and reading the post saying "IF YOU LIKE DIAPERS YOU HAVE A LACK OF SELF CONFIDENCE" its a self fullfillingprophecy.. the person begins to think, omg i must have low self esteem, even if they never did before, and then before u know it, they are constantly degrading themselves then truely do lack self confidence.

[Baby Bethany]

I agree with Sarah, it's too much of a sweeping statement. Besides, seeking escape from the pressures of life doesn't show a lack of confidence.

Sarah mentioned role play like D&D, also there are things like computer games where you take on a different character. As I mentioned above some people seek emotional support from things like astrology or religion. However we wouldn't suggest everyone who reads their stars in the newspaper or goes to church lacks self confidence. Another thing to take into account is that our community includes a large amount of very successful people. If we were largely a community of under achievers, then you could argue about a lack of confidence being the cause. But the truth is we have a large amount of members in powerful positions. In fact, I once read some research that said the AB/DL and fetish community contain a higher percentage of professional people than society in general.

Beth

[Baby Bethany]

To be honest I don't think there is any one size fits all reason, rather there are many contributing factors. Possibly some of the below;

It could be that for some people they are seeking a missed childhood, or wanting the care and loving attention they never had in reality.

For some it could be that they had a great childhood, in fact it was so great that they feel relaxed at the idea of returning to it (this may sound odd, but nostalgia is a very strong emotion. Which is why so many people collect vintage toys/comics etc. Usually the ones they had as a kid).

For some it could be that babyhood is the only time in your life that you have to make zero decisions. Most of us have to make one decision after another, at home, in our jobs etc. As a baby every decision is made for you. Let's face it, even relaxing things like fishing or golf still require you to make lots of decisions.

It could be, as Duck says, that by being a baby you get 100% attention (although this wouldn't explain why people do it alone).

As for the sexual appeal. I think it comes down to one thing........CONTROL!! Read any AB/DL story or AB/DL fantasy, they always seem to include the aspect of being forced to wear a diaper or be a baby. I believe it's the control aspect that appeals. For instance, if a woman forces a guy to wear a diaper or be a baby, it's basicly a statement that she is in total control, she decides what you wear, eat, do, and also if you can or can't have sexual relief. The control factor could also explain the appeal for some of non childlike aspects such as being restrained in a highchair or crib, or being given an enforced enema. I also believe the humiliation aspect is appealing to some people, i.e. lots of people like to fantasise about being taken out in public or diapered in front of hers or your friends.

As I said, I don't think there is any one reason for this, but rather many contributing factors. I also believe there is lots of crossover between the AB/DL world and the worlds of cross dressing, BDSM, and rubber/plastic fetishes.

Beth

[diaperpt]

As for the sexual appeal. I think it comes down to one thing........CONTROL!! Read any AB/DL story or AB/DL fantasy, they always seem to include the aspect of being forced to wear a diaper or be a baby. I believe it's the control aspect that appeals. For instance, if a woman forces a guy to wear a diaper or be a baby, it's basicly a statement that she is in total control, she decides what you wear, eat, do, and also if you can or can't have sexual relief. The control factor could also explain the appeal for some of non childlike aspects such as being restrained in a highchair or crib, or being given an enforced enema. I also believe the humiliation aspect is appealing to some people, i.e. lots of people like to fantasise about being taken out in public or diapered in front of hers or your friends.

I agree with both Duck and Beth on so many points. I've got a question though - free analysis?? I don't understand myself...seriously. I know I've got control issues going on. I do a lot of subtle things to control situations. When it comes to my fantasies, its me that wants to BE controlled. I don't get off on the idea of being the one in control...it seems the reverse of what I seem to want in real life.

On the other hand, at least outwardly - I don't want to be the one in control...maybe that's it? I realize also that if my 'fantasy' ever came true, I'd hate it!! (I'm actually part way through a story in which the main character is very much like that...fantasizes then is actually turned into a diaper slave and gets his fantasy turned into reality...)

While this is a personal question, it does feed into what Beth is saying about control. Anyone else caught in this paradox??

[Baby Bethany]

I'm very similar in that sense.

I wouldn't say I'm a control freak, but I am assertive and prefer to take the lead in things. I'm the same in my sex life, I prefer to be dom in any sex games. The only time I am happy to submit is in AB mode, and you could say that is part of the appeal, i.e. why I find it relaxing, but that alone doesn't explain why I've liked it since about 6 years old. For me it has changed over the years. Before puberty it was more of a fascination with baby and girls things, then it was sexually arousing, then in about my early twenties it became non sexual like now.

So it's always been in my mind in some form or another, but it's changed as my life has changed.

Beth

[bbgirlmichelle]

I agree with both Duck and Beth on so many points. I've got a question though - free analysis?? I don't understand myself...seriously. I know I've got control issues going on. I do a lot of subtle things to control situations. When it comes to my fantasies, its me that wants to BE controlled. I don't get off on the idea of being the one in control...it seems the reverse of what I seem to want in real life.

On the other hand, at least outwardly - I don't want to be the one in control...maybe that's it? I realize also that if my 'fantasy' ever came true, I'd hate it!! (I'm actually part way through a story in which the main character is very much like that...fantasizes then is actually turned into a diaper slave and gets his fantasy turned into reality...)

While this is a personal question, it does feed into what Beth is saying about control. Anyone else caught in this paradox??

Your situation is very common actually, at least in the BDSM community. Most submissives (people that want to give control to others in certain situations) have very strong personalities in their outside lives. Being babied is another form of submitting to another, if you don't have someone to take the control you still enact it out yourself again relating to the BDSM community: self-bondage is an example.

I'm a very strong, confident person, I'm a team lead in my job and people look up to me, though I can't do this all the time. Submission in the form of giving control to my Daddy helps me relax, gives me an escape, without that balance I start to break down. I think that *most* people that want to escape control 24/7 would actually grow to dislike it after a while. Even though for a lot of us the fantasy is really, really hot, the reality would probably come and smack us in the face and eventually we'd want some of our adult live/priveldges back. Next year I may get the opportunity to be more fulltime as Daddy's little girl, but I doubt that it will last for more than a few weeks before I find that I need some of the balance on the other side to keep myself sane.

I hope you don't mind me relating to the BDSM community, I'm heavily involved in it and they have a lot of these issues worked out, most of the things that we like to do in the AB/DL community are items that can be checked off on a BDSM like/dislikes checklist (one which I can dig up if anyone likes): Diaper Play, Age Play, 24/7 power exchange, forced feminzation...

*huggles*

Michelle

[Baby Bethany]

What's a BDSM checklist Michelle?

Beth

[bbgirlmichelle]

What's a BDSM checklist Michelle?

Beth

Sorry, I have to run to work, so I'm posting the first one I found in a google search:

BDSM Checklist

People in the BDSM scene online use these to see if their interests match, in person we tend to do this verbally. They include things you love to do and things you are interested in doing and things that are hard limits.

Be back tonight.

*huggles*

Michelle

[Baby Bethany]

Sorry, I have to run to work, so I'm posting the first one I found in a google search:

BDSM Checklist

People in the BDSM scene online use these to see if their interests match, in person we tend to do this verbally. They include things you love to do and things you are interested in doing and things that are hard limits.

Be back tonight.

*huggles*

Michelle

Thanks for that.......and I thought I'd tried some things through the years, lol.

Seriously though, there is a lot of crossover here.

Beth

[brianh]

Hello to everyone. I don't post very often, but thank you to all for their thoughts on this thread. I really enjoy more serious discussions such as this one, and from a personal standpoint, it's good to know that I'm not alone.

In regards to the confidence aspect, I find that I am less confident when I do wear - i.e., less confident in my decision making abilities and task oriented capabilities. It's almost as if I use my ability to abstain from wearing diapers as a control thing: the thinking goes in my mind something like, "As long as I don't wear diapers, then I can do things well, be myself, and be confident in my decisions." Of course that thinking tends to set one up for failure.

Well, thanks again for the thread everyone. Have a great day!

[Toddler Pampers]

I'm convinced that there are a number of ways to explain adults wearing diapers "for fun". One of them that doesn't seem to offend is that being diapered relieves stress. In other words, wearing diapers lets you convincingly pretend you're a baby, and babies don't stress.

You know, I don't think I buy this. We say babies lead stress-free lives, but they don't really. Let me make the point that their lives are really quite stressful by pointing out how dependant they are. Isn't independence what characterizes an adult, and isn't that what we all want?

People like to say diapers are stress relievers, just like a massage. With all due respect to anyone who's said that, I think it's untrue, that there really is another explanation. I think what is meant is that wearing diapers is a sign of insecurity. Now, how much different is that than saying I like to wear diapers after a hard day at work where I've had to handle pressure and responsibility?

Frankly, I also don't believe that the ab/dl community is loaded with overachievers. Even if there are a few professionals, I still think they aren't brimming with confidence. I really believe that infantilism is an outgrowth of insecurity. And there is a general admission to this out there, but it tends to be stated in much more positive terms, along the lines of being a reasonable and direct way to relieve stress, no different from a couple of beers.

I know some readers will think I'm getting all down on people I don't even know. I may be, but not intentionally. I just really value honesty and credibility. The fact of the matter is that if you like wearing diapers, you've got a screw loose. But so what? It's just a little screw compared to most. At least I see it that way. Anybody who rationalizes what we all are doing I think is the one making a big deal out of it.

[AndB]

I'm convinced that there are a number of ways to explain adults wearing diapers "for fun". One of them that doesn't seem to offend is that being diapered relieves stress. In other words, wearing diapers lets you convincingly pretend you're a baby, and babies don't stress.

You know, I don't think I buy this. We say babies lead stress-free lives, but they don't really. Let me make the point that their lives are really quite stressful by pointing out how dependant they are. Isn't independence what characterizes an adult, and isn't that what we all want?

People like to say diapers are stress relievers, just like a massage. With all due respect to anyone who's said that, I think it's untrue, that there really is another explanation. I think what is meant is that wearing diapers is a sign of insecurity. Now, how much different is that than saying I like to wear diapers after a hard day at work where I've had to handle pressure and responsibility?

Frankly, I also don't believe that the ab/dl community is loaded with overachievers. Even if there are a few professionals, I still think they aren't brimming with confidence. I really believe that infantilism is an outgrowth of insecurity. And there is a general admission to this out there, but it tends to be stated in much more positive terms, along the lines of being a reasonable and direct way to relieve stress, no different from a couple of beers.

I know some readers will think I'm getting all down on people I don't even know. I may be, but not intentionally. I just really value honesty and credibility. The fact of the matter is that if you like wearing diapers, you've got a screw loose. But so what? It's just a little screw compared to most. At least I see it that way. Anybody who rationalizes what we all are doing I think is the one making a big deal out of it.

To some extent, you've got a point here. I really can't see anybody who doesn't want to wear diapers anyway find it a great stress reliever. The only stress it really relieves is the stress of thinking about diapers.

Wearing diapers is a compulsive thing, and for many of us there's an obsessive aspect to it as well. I know that before my 24/7 days, I could think of little else sometimes! The best thing any therapist or shrink can do for us is help us integrate this -- in other words figure out where diapers belong in your life. This is exactly what mine did for me, in addition to helping my wife and I communicate and not let this tear us apart.

[sarah_ab]

ok, lets just remember there are MANY of us for who it is a sexual fetish. Like any sexual encounter it is a physical as well as emotional release.

For many of us who find wearing diapers and age play a turn on, we are not insecure, we do not lack self confidence, we do not have low self esteem, we are not underachievers. We just like to get off and found this thing as something fun to do!

As for those who do not get a sexual release, you cannot deny there is an emotional release.

I know lots of people who go to the gym and run wiles on a treadmill to relieve stress. I know just as many people who couldn't fathom running miles as a stress reliever. Same goes for diapers. Lots of us wear them to relieve stress and lots of people couldn't fathom wearing them to relieve stress.

I love to read, and it relaxes me. My boyfriend, hates to read and it certainly doesn't relax him. Does that mean that i have low self esteem and he doesnt?

my best friend listens to music when he's stressed, when i'm stressed i often hate having music on.

We all have out different ways of working out stress and life's issues. Somepeople drink, others shoot heroin, others go to therapy, others wear diapers.

I dont think diapers are a compulsion, i dont have to wear diapers to get off, i dont have to wear diapers to feel better, and i dont think about diapers all the time, usually hardly at all.

I guess i just have a problem with sweeping generalizations about here when there are just as many people who are into 'this' for sexual reasons as not. And some who are split 50/50.. and what about those who are both Daddy/Mommy and Baby... they are both in control and the submissive, so does that mean they do and do not lack self confidence?

I understand if for you as an individual lack of self confidence and low self esteem lead you to wearing diapers, but sweeping generalizations hurt much more than they help, as i said before especially for those who are just coming into this lifestyle/fetish. They dont need to be bombarded with statements that they lack self esteem when they are often already confused and scared enough as is.

[babykeiff]

It is not that psychiatrists have no idea what to do with an AB/DL/LG etc, (for sanity I will use the term AB), it is that their training tends to suggest something incorrect about an adult choosing to regress. A child regressing is caused by some direct or perceived trauma in its life. Humans, no mater their training or profession, seem to think that regression in any form is incorrect.

Sarah_AB,

'Sexual fetishism, or erotic fetishism, is the sexual attraction to materials and objects not conventionally viewed as being sexual in nature' direct quote from wikipedia.

Are you sexually attracted to a diaper? Most AB/DL etc are not, and can achieve sexual satisfaction without needing a diaper. A diaper AND the interest in infantalism is NOT a fetishism. It is this difference that some people, including some infantilists do not understand. Once you, and all of us look beyond society's tendency to stereotype us, we will realize that we are truly unique, and therfore, have no real obligation to conform to any of society norms.

In reality, we are all born as ABs, and it is society pressures that cause us to 'grow up' (suppress natural infantile tendencies). However, in some form, an AB is a more mature 'adult' than a non AB as it is they who do not use transient methods (drink / drugs etc) to deal with society induced stress. This truth is what both confuses and interests a psychiatrist, as it both agrees and disagrees with the notion of regression. ie are you mature enough to regress, or is this regression a result of trauma, and if so, as a psychiatrist, they are obliged to help.

Personally, I choose to

accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference Misquote by St Francis of Assisi,

not saying that I am religious or anything, but think of it this way, why worry about things that are not in your control.

Toddler Pampers has made a few points without substance, in my opinion

...

Frankly, I also don't believe that the ab/dl community is loaded with overachievers. Even if there are a few professionals, I still think they aren't brimming with confidence.

...

Toddler Pampers, how much confidence would it take for you to leave your place of residence dressed in a diaper under your clothes knowing well that by the time you get back home the diaper will be wet / messy / both? I do that DAILY, as do thousands of other ABs. How much work would it take to qualify as a doctor - I can answer that, seven years almost working 18-23 hours a day, cause I did that. Am I an overachiever? - like most ABs Yes I am. It peeves me to see someone with your obvious intelligence, stating something without even the basics of research. That action is not just stupid, it is ignorant and lazy.

...that being diapered relieves stress. In other words, wearing diapers lets you convincingly pretend you're a baby, and babies don't stress.

...

You are correct in the statement that babies do stress, but you are ignoring the resultant action of a baby stressing - they get comforted either by a care-giver or a pseudo care-giver (Plushie / blankie - the warmth and security of human contact AND/OR pacifier - sate the suckling urge and also trigger endorphin release to sate hunger)

Diapers are a form of stress relief in the fact that they remove, in the wearers mind, the need to control their bodily eliminations. Also, it is by association (smell of baby powder / cream / feel of the diaper / onesie / plushie etc), that the wearer realizes that they don't currently need to worry about what is causing them grief.

Thirdly, the first pseudo-orgasm that a male enjoyed is filling his diaper. It is caused by the poop rubbing on the prostate gland while the penis is being bathed in a warm damp diaper and the inside of both thighs are being touched or rubbed by an ever-expanding diaper. (This is also the primary reason why males are so difficult to toilet train) If you have ever dealt with diaper-dependant children, you would see the enjoyment in their faces from the afterglow of both the pseudo-ogasm and the relief of emptying their bowels. In reality, a 6mth old could be toilet trained, but it is not convenient in this modern world to do so. (see 'Natural Toilet Training Methods' for reference)

Now, if you bothered to do a little research, you would have found out that the temporary removal of stress from the conscious part of the human mind allows the subconscious (in laymans terms, the work area of the mind) to correctly, and without interruption, evaluate and solve all problems that is causing the conscious mind grief. All pseudo-relief (drink / drugs / smoking) fail to do this.

You know, I don't think I buy this. We say babies lead stress-free lives, but they don't really. Let me make the point that their lives are really quite stressful by pointing out how dependant they are. Isn't independence what characterizes an adult, and isn't that what we all want?

How independent are you in reality? Are you still not dependent on an employer for a job? Do you still have to pay a mortgage / rent etc. Do you still not have to purchase food, and are dependent on your local retailers for that? The only real difference between a baby and an adult is that when there is something that stresses the baby, it is not the baby that addresses the problem. Also, the baby, as dependent it is on others, does NOT have to answer to anyone for its actions. A baby will sleep when tired, wake when not, wet and mess when it needs to, and sate any and all urges it wishes, and will ignore, due to a lack of understanding, comments on its actions. In actuality, a baby is more stress-free than an adult can ever be.

With all due respect to anyone who's said that, I think it's untrue, that there really is another explanation.

What is the other explanation? As I said earlier, diapers and their usage, do not sate any urge of a baby, but are a modern convenience. Why do you choose to wear diapers, or do you know?

[sarah_ab]

Fetishims - the compulsive use of some object, or part of the body, as a stimulus in the course of attaining sexual gratification, as a shoe, a lock of hair, or underclothes.

from the random house unabridged dictionary

as such, yes a dl has a fetish for diapers.... the diaper is the object being used as the stimulus to attain sexual gratification

and since in the "fetish" community, having a fetish also refers to getting off on power play like dom/sub bdsm etc... i suppose i was using it also in its slang since..

being forced to wear diapers, playing a helpless being at the mercy of someone in control and gaining sexual pleasure or arousal from it is what many in todays slang would call having a fetish. So yes being an AB/DL is engaging in fetish play. You use the diapers, the pacifiers, the bottles to engage your sense and increase the fantasy.

thats the point i'm trying to make.

Its not just about pretending to be a baby to leave the stress of the real world, for lots of us its about getting off as well.

and just so theres no misunderstanding, i was attempting to break the stereotype that everyone into this is trying to escape from stress... by reminding everyone that there are those of us for who this play is sexual as well. I was not engaging in a stereotype at all.

[enfant]

Fetishims - the compulsive use of some object, or part of the body, as a stimulus in the course of attaining sexual gratification, as a shoe, a lock of hair, or underclothes.

This definition is both incomplete and incorrect, IMHO. (Just because it's in the dictionary doesn't mean it's right.) A fetish needn't be compulsive, and it isn't always solely a fixation on a material object.

A lot of definitions in this area are wrong because they were made up by people who had incomplete information. As we learn more, the definitions expand.

[sarah_ab]

i was attemping to finish the wiki definition.. iu dont like wiki.. its an unreliable source of often made up information...

thats why i went on to talk about the other uses of the word fetish.. such as those in the 'fetish' scene.. it is not just about being attracted to an object, but about engaging in behaviors and fantasies as well, which is why i believe being ab or dl could be considered engaging in fetish behavior.

[Toddler Pampers]

It would seem I've annoyed babykeiff with my comments. The worst thing I said I think is that I don't believe the AB/DL community is loaded with overachievers. I said that to support another belief, that infantilism is an outgrowth of insecurity, that a desire to wear diapers reflects a lack of self-confidence.

Then along comes babykeiff, who has a medical doctor degree. Yes, but are you a practicing physician, or are you like me, somebody with a professional degree (law) who doesn't practice? I never said AB/DLs weren't smart. All I said was that I think a desire to wear diapers reflects insecurity and a lack of self-confidence.

sarah_ab is terribly concerned that stating this is going to produce a lack of self-confidence in a previously self-confident person. Anything's possible I suppose. I'd still like to be able to make my point though.

babykeiff infers that his wearing diapers (as an AB) in public proves his self-confidence. It proves no such thing. I'm writing this at a public computer, diapered and very wet. But nobody knows, because I've got clothes on (just like babykeiff when he goes out). Now, if somehow I could let others know that I was wearing a wet diaper only because I like to, without offending and annoying them, that might prove self-confidence. (Or I could be explained as somebody seeking rejection.)

I wear diapers because I choose to. I can be more specific, such as I like how they look and feel and sound, I sense that wearing diapers for pleasure is a little bit naughty and I like that, I am sexually stimulated by using them, etc. I don't wear them to relieve stress, however (nobody really does, in my opinion), and I most likely wear them because I'm insecure and don't have a lot of self-confidence (the unconscious reasons).

Lastly, I really do feel that there are "negative" reasons for adults being attracted to diapers. It seems that others don't like this, partly because it casts the ab/dl community in a bad light. I, personally, do not subscribe to any effort to get recreational diaper wearing accepted by the greater population. Ain't gonna happen, so I'm not wasting my time. Doesn't need to happen in any case. All there needs to be is self-acceptance, warts and all.

[Guest]

I'm convinced that there are a number of ways to explain adults wearing diapers "for fun". One of them that doesn't seem to offend is that being diapered relieves stress. In other words, wearing diapers lets you convincingly pretend you're a baby, and babies don't stress.

You know, I don't think I buy this. We say babies lead stress-free lives, but they don't really. Let me make the point that their lives are really quite stressful by pointing out how dependent they are. Isn't independence what characterizes an adult, and isn't that what we all want?

Independence?! Good LORD! I have to depend whole-heartedly on my boss's willingness to keep paying me, AND on satisfying the company above him - their expectations. Independence- PLEASE. The only people who have independence are those who have a wind generator, grow their own crops, and make biodeisl from stuff they already grow. I, on the other hand, have to follow any misstep with "Dear Goddess, please don't let him fire me. I need things like food and shelter!"

People like to say diapers are stress relievers, just like a massage. With all due respect to anyone who's said that, I think it's untrue, that there really is another explanation. I think what is meant is that wearing diapers is a sign of insecurity. Now, how much different is that than saying I like to wear diapers after a hard day at work where I've had to handle pressure and responsibility?

How is my diaper a sign of insecurity? My stuffed wolf, yes, he's a sign of insecurity, particularly since he goes EVERYWHERE even if he just waits in the car). My diaper on the other hand... No, I just fucking hate potties. I think their disgusting, uncomfortable, unreliable, and horribly inconvenient, and the feeling of needing to find one while I look for one is very unpleasant.

Insecure? Nope, I just think the invention of the diaper should've replaced toilets cause toilets suck. If I never sit on another one for the rest of my life, I'd be pleased!

Frankly, I also don't believe that the ab/dl community is loaded with overachievers. Even if there are a few professionals, I still think they aren't brimming with confidence. I really believe that infantilism is an outgrowth of insecurity. And there is a general admission to this out there, but it tends to be stated in much more positive terms, along the lines of being a reasonable and direct way to relieve stress, no different from a couple of beers.

Fuck you!

I know some readers will think I'm getting all down on people I don't even know. I may be, but not intentionally. I just really value honesty and credibility. The fact of the matter is that if you like wearing diapers, you've got a screw loose. But so what? It's just a little screw compared to most. At least I see it that way. Anybody who rationalizes what we all are doing I think is the one making a big deal out of it.

I've got a screw loose?! WHAT?!

No no no... I'm the one who can look at adult society and scream "WHAT THE FUCK?! SERIOUSLY, WHAT... THE... FUCK?!??!??".

To follow soceity to the T... I'd have to dress as I'm told, think as I'm told, act as I'm told, like only what I'm allowed to like.... and I've got a fucken screw loose?!

Men do manly things, women go shopping and cry... Yeah, I've got a loose screw.

Cartoons? No no... you should watch drama, and news. Bite me.

You want my rationalization?

I LIKE BEING BABYISH! No further rationalization nessesary.

If I want to take my Visa card out of a bright pink Hello Kitty Wallet, after I've put down my stuffed wolf to do so, to pay for my DVD full of cartoons... FUCK YOU, I'm gonna do it! ...and NO, I DON'T have a fucken screw loose!

*hmph!*

[babykeiff]

To clarify my a point I made, I will expand it.....

A fetish object, despite the dictionary used, is an object used to arouse, and gain sexual relief. Some ahead of me used the word 'compulsive' which is slightly incorrect as it allows the definition to be subjective to what is a compulsive behavior and what is not. Wiki used 'not conventional' which is also subjective to what is and is not convention. Also, since any object can be used to arouse or gain sexual relief, I still cant find anything that is NOT a fetish object, OR find something that is definitively a fetish object apart from a condom or vibrator. In actuality, the only definitive fetish object and also the largest sexual organ in humans is the human brain.

Baby paraphernalia (diaper / bottle / blankie / paci / plushie / onesie etc) in individuality or combined is not a trigger for arousal or sexual relief to most ABs. As a result, diapers are NOT a fetish object to most - they can be a convenience, a requirement or a fulfillment of want. Correspondingly, baby paraphernalia in individuality or combined also fits this description. Therefore, infantilism, the act of acting infantile, is not a fetish as it is not infantile to be aware of or seek sexual gratification. That does not negate the fact that some male, and female, infants do gain pseudo-sexual gratification by the act of messing in their diapers (1. Poop stimulates the prostate gland (Skene gland in females) while being evacuated, 2.Diaper expanding and caressing the inside of the thighs. 3.Penis / vagina being bathed and stimulated in a warm wet diaper)

In simple terms, a diaper or infantile behavior is not a fetish object unless desired to be.

[bbgirlmichelle]

I'm really enjoying this thread, there are a lot of very interesting viewpoints coming out of it and it's nothing like I expected it to turn out.

From what I read here, there are at least 3 different reasons that people are AB/DL:

• Stress Relief
• Sexual Gratification
• Self Confidence Issues

I'm sure there are more and I'm quite interested to hear them.

A couple of points that I'd like to make to Toddler Pampers:

Not every person that wears diapers that doesn't medically need them has self-confidence issues. I can honestly tell you this because I definitely don't have self-confidence issues. I have worked my way up in my current job from telephone support to leading a team of software developers. When I started at my job I had no knowledge in that area and worked extremely hard to get to where I am now. I'm the go to person now for software architecture, systems design and when no-one else has the answer, I usually do or can find it. I've worked my way up about 7 levels in my company and tripled my salary from the time that I started there 9 years ago.

Outside of work I volunteer with small community groups and non-profit organizations. I'm currently on the board of directors for a non-profit that started last year and was on the steering committee that founded that non-profit. One of my positions with that group is to go out and work with other organizations and build relations between us.

Another thing about self confidence, I can get up in front of a room full of people speak, I was a "stunt bottom" for a BDSM educational workshop where I was on a table naked in front of 75+ people (including one of my co-workers) and don't think twice about it.

I do *not* have self-confidence issues and Pampers, I would appreciate it if you would not stereotype, stereotypes don't work, they just hurt people. People are individual, unique and all different, they don't all fit into neat little boxes. I pride myself on being different, finding things that I enjoy even if they aren't the "norm".

I find that saying we have a screw loose is amusing, I'm sure I have many screws loose according to society, but I feel that people are too screwed-up-tight (Reminds me of a Wheel of Fortune Before & After puzzle) as it is and need to loosen up a bit. To quote the band Trooper: We're here for a good time, not a long time!

I don't want to see people fight here, I just hope that you listen to other peoples feelings and try to understand where they are coming from, your experiences don't necessarily match theirs, but you can learn from others by listening to them. People will get very defensive when you discount their feelings and experiences.

I work very hard both for work and volunteering and I work in a very stressful job. Sometimes it's very hard to leave that stress at the door. Coming home and having my Daddy diaper me, feed me dinner, cuddle and watch a movie... takes me to a place that I can forget the outside world. It allows me to relax and center myself so that I can go back out and do it again the next day. I don't know how I found this about me, but I've known about the baby side of me since I was 12 and it has worked very well for me. The only time I had self-confidence issues was before I accepted this part of me. One of the worst things you can do for your self-confidence is tell yourself you have low self-confidence, your mind feeds upon what you tell it and self-perpetuates it.

*huggles*

Michelle